When you invite all the pirates to a conference in the skeleton of a monster, you’re going to run into folks you don’t really want to.
We get treasure, don't be mad / now stop - hatin' is bad
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the Tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Someone shot Umbi, and then he went like [burst]. And then his body was like, "Oh, no, I'm on fire." [burst] And then Cammie was like, "Aaah!" And Troy was like, "It's my birthday!" [burst] And then he was like, "Ugh, I'm so old." Yeah, that's what happened. Let's get the party started.
Eric (as Lustrous): We have much to discuss, but everyone's drinking and it's already happening. I've already been drinking for— for 12 hours. I didn't know when people were gonna start showing up. And that's more of me as a host than anything else. Well, Salix is just gonna give out the goodie bags and— and just leave. I don't have anywhere to sleep. Just avoid—don't give your kid away to anyone you don't want to, unless you do want to, and then you're allowed to do whatever you want. That's totally fine. But those ruffians are running about, we're gonna meet later the big atrium inside of the throat of the giant whale person, but— inside of the giant whale monster, but other than that, just have fun. And then you can ask me, Lustrous Recompense, but my friends call me Lustrous Recompense. Or you can talk to Salix. Salix doesn't have a lot to say, so maybe you should talk to me, Lustrous Recompense. I love talking to people. It's my main motivation after everything went so bad in my life, so ta-ta, I have more people to welcome in. Hello!
Brandon (as Umbi): Guys, look, they gave us iPods in our— in our bags. Do you get it because it's— it's an iPod, but it's also a plant pun.
Eric: It's the third generation, which means that it has a little flower on it, because it—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric: —it was on the vine for too long.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): And that's how you know he's not a bad guy because he's able to give us Apple products.
Julia: Was that just for me out of character or— thank you, thank you, thank you.
Brandon: I didn't get an applause for fucking iPod. Okay.
Eric: I—
Amanda: I was catching up, Brandon. I was catching up.
Brandon: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Eric: It was for both of you. You guys both like—
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: You were both on the Hoosiers team when it was--
Julia: Because it's a bump set spike, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. The— you won— you won the under 18 Women's D4 Eastern Conference Volleyball State Championships.
Brandon: I should not be allowed at that conference and neither should Julia.
Julia: I think I'm a little too old for that, so—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I mean, you won it—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —you won it though, and I'm proud of you. And then you overcame a lot of adversity this season, so that's why everyone in the crowd stood up and cheered.
Brandon: Because the future liberals won, huh, Eric?
Julia: Is Brandon Grugle on that girls volleyball team?
Amanda: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Eric: High school— high school girls volleyball team, where they're also athletic and tall, and then Brandon—
Brandon: And I fuck up the team so bad.
Eric: This is the future of liberal sport.
Julia: Is— is this 30-something-year-old man who's terrible at volleyball, the worst player on the team?
Brandon: Who's literally never played volleyball.
Eric: It's like the best players in Nassau County and Brandon.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Exactly.
Brandon: It's just a marketing stunt.
Eric: There's nothing in the rulebook that say Brandon Grugle can't play— can't play girls volleyball.
Brandon: And then I— I take the rulebook and I peel apart two pages and I said, "Yes, there is, it's right there. Do you see it? It was just stuck."
Eric: It stuck— it was stuck together, it's— it's sap.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I don't know how sap—
Brandon: It's rule three.
Eric: I don't know how sap got on your rule book, but it's just— it's stuck together.
Amanda: Not bad.
Julia: This isn't gonna get into the episode, is it?
Eric: And that's when Lustrous Recompense continues to welcome in more and more pirates as they show up to the First Annual Pirates Talking About Stuff Conference here at the big Whale Monster Skeleton Lodge conference and conference pavilion.
Amanda: And resort.
Eric: And resort.
Julia: It has to have a better name than that. Something a little snappier.
Brandon: Well, what does that— what does that shortened down to in— in—
Julia: I don't know.
Brandon: —acronym form or whatever those are called?
Amanda: Lumpy.
Brandon: Lumpy?
Eric: I think it turned into lumpy, yeah.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Amanda (as Troy): You guys— you guys haven't heard about Lumpy?
Brandon (as Umbi): No.
Amanda (as Troy): It's when someone's mom is like, "I am so tired, I have so many children. My husband does not help at home. I need a girls weekend." And then it's like, you go to lumpy.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh. That sounds great. Well, not the first part.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): The second part sounds great.
Amanda (as Troy): No, and then she comes home with, like, a bunch of a— a bunch of, like, novelty cups and— and like a big T-shirt and a twinkle in her eye.
Julia (as Cammie): And a lower back tattoo.
Amanda (as Troy): And everyone's like, "Troy, you'll understand when you're older."
Julia (as Cammie): And—
Amanda (as Troy): And— and I'm like, "I don't really understand, but I'm glad your mom is happy. She's really nice and gives me snacks."
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's great.
Eric: While Troy was— was talking about Lumpy, a large shadow looms over you.
Julia (as Cammie): Hello.
Brandon: Real quick, before anything happens here, I just want to—
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I want to make sure that I send Bartlett, my parrot friend, off of my shoulder on—
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: —like away, because I don't want anyone to know that Bartlett is my parrot. And no one does know that because he is new— he is a new friend.
Eric: Okay, so they haven't seen Bartlett before?
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: So you didn't walk up with Bartlett to the—
Brandon: No.
Eric: Got it.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Bartlett's just like being a weird parrot somewhere.
Brandon: Yeah. You know, it's just like a bird on— on top of the bone or something, you know?
Eric: Right.
Julia: It's a pirate gathering, there are going to be weird parrots doing things.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: No, I'm not saying it's gonna stand out. In this gathering, it's not weird, but I think it's funny if you were just, like, in— anywhere else and be like, "That parrot looks so dry. What's wrong with that parrot?"
Julia: Why is it so rotten?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I like it. Anyway, this big shadow?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Here, you can have the ball back.
Eric: And looming over you is a 15-foot-tall tree Greenfolk. This is say Salix, who is the right-hand person of your butterfly benefactor.
Julia: What kind of tree is Salix?
Eric: Salix is a white willow tree which is also known as a Salix alba.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: So— and if you don't— if you've never seen one of these before, it's mostly big, poofy leaves. It's very circular.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): You're beautiful.
Eric: Salix is also mostly poof and it's like seven and a half feet radius in all— in all directions.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: So it's like— you know like how Kingpin in the Across the Spider-Verse movie is a square?
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: The Salix is a circle—
Brandon: Damn.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: It's wide as tall, yeah.
Eric: —because it's just— yeah, because it's as wide as they are tall when using the radius, it's all— it's the same all the way around, because it's just like clumps of poofy leaves everywhere that is just looming over you. There are some little eyes kind of inside of Salix.
Amanda: Are there— is there a little clip above the eyes like a Yorkshire Terrier, keeping the— the leaves out of the way?
Eric: Yes, there is. There's a little overhang where the eyes are, its two sunken yet soulful eyes looking out at you. And out of the big poof of leaves are three goodie bags that have an iPod inside.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you. You have beautiful eyes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you so much.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm Cammie. What's your name?
Eric (as Salix): Yeah, inside of here is everything that you are going to need for your time at the conference. There's a map and a schedule, and a lanyard, and a third-generation iPad.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's so kind.
Eric (as Salix): Lus—
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, that's Salix.
Eric (as Salix): Lustrous— Lustrous is very kind to provide all of you with presents, and also navigation of the upcoming conference. If there's anything that you'd like to add to the agenda for the upcoming times, please feel free. I'll be standing over near a— on a little easel. There, you can write on, that you can write things apart, but I'm sure that other people would like to contribute to what they want to talk about at the conference.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can we add a big thank you applause to the end of the conference for you and Lustrous?
Eric (as Salix): Oh, don't worry, Lustrous has put both pre, middle, and post-applauses for himself and for the working staff.
Brandon (as Umbi): Great.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you— do you want the— the iPod?
Eric (as Salix): No, I have plenty of my own. I have a fifth ge—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, good.
Eric (as Salix): I have a fifth generation that comes in three piece.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.
Brandon (as Umbi): What the fuck?
Amanda (as Troy): That's crazy. Do you want a book?
Eric (as Salix): I got— I got it via Lustrous' associations with the Apple company. Allows us to get a— earlier technology early.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you— do you want this— do you want a book? Do you know about books?
Eric (as Salix): I do know about books.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, cool. I've learned about them. I think they're awesome. I have some, not to brag. If you want any, I'd be happy to, like, lend you one.
Eric (as Salix): When I'm not on the clock, I could peruse your leading— with the reading materials for the time being—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, tight.
Eric (as Salix): —I'm— I'm at work.
Julia (as Cammie): What— when do you get off the clock?
Eric (as Salix): Are you propositioning me?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know, maybe. I've called you beautiful three times and I'm just kinda rolling with it.
Eric (as Salix): I don't know, but I'm— I'm enjoying— I'm— I'm enjoying the proposition. Let me know when you figure it out and I'll figure it out as well.
Amanda: Troy claps.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Julia: I just, like, big tall with Big Small. It's one of my favorite tropes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Big tall with Big Small.
Eric: Clap, clap, clap.
Eric (as Salix): Alright. Well, have— have a good time exchanging with the various peoples from the conference. And unfortunately, we do not provide places for you to sleep, but you also have houses upon which you sail the seas. We did not think that was something to provide. We do recommend—
Julia (as Cammie): We have a boat, yeah.
Eric (as Salix): We do recommend you don't sleep here because of the seabees.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): You're so right, man. Boats is houses but on the sea.
Eric (as Salix): Boats is ho— boats is home. Home— home is a boat.
Brandon (as Umbi): Wow, that's growth.
Amanda (as Troy): Home is a boat.
Eric (as Salix): Home is—
Amanda (as Troy): Salix, hit us up when— when you— when you get off the clock, if you want, no pressure. And I know you're at work. We're— we're the boat that looks kind of moldy.
Eric (as Salix): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): If you look out at the water, and you look at a bunch of boats, and you say, "Which one's the shittiest?" That one's ours.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Salix): Can I ask you a personal question?
Amanda (as Troy): Yes.
Julia (as Cammie): Yes.
Eric (as Salix): How did you come upon a key when your boat so bad?
Julia (as Cammie): It just looks bad. Wink.
Eric (as Salix): Oh, it's a secret mechanism. Of course.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's also not a real key. Wink.
Eric (as Salix): Well—
Julia (as Cammie): What?
Eric (as Salix): —they will need it— you know, you will need to certify the key with me in order to be led into the conference. But that certification won't happen for the next 12 hours or so, so keep it safe.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, everyone invited here has— has a key?
Brandon (as Umbi): Has a key?
Eric (as Salix): Yes. And well, every— the invitations went out to the various— well, we had to distribute the invitations. I was flying a biplane earlier.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, that was you.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Eric: So we cut back to the scene of the biplane going over the— from a few episodes ago. And now looking back at the scene, you see that there was a big, poofy tree inside of a biplane.
Brandon: Just—
Julia: I love it now.
Brandon: —luxuriously, like, flowing in the wind.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There's like— with a—
Amanda: Like a white scarf.
Eric: With a white scarf and, like, big aviator goggles—
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: —over their sunken eyes and— but it's just like big— you realize that there was a big, green poof like hanging out of the biplane.
Amanda: Like in retrospect, yeah, that's really obvious.
Eric (as Salix): We had to distribute the invitations to as many folks as possible so everyone knows, but the keys will have to be certified for you to be led inside of the conference.
Amanda (as Troy): Cool.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, that's fine. To be honest, I didn't know really the rules. I was just trying to get some—
Eric (as Salix): You— we instead decided to have a conversation. It's all here in the pamphlet inside of your goodie bag.
Julia (as Cammie): There's a code of conduct and stuff, yeah.
Eric (as Salix): And the code of conduct as well.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, cool. Cool. Thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Eric (as Salix): Yeah. So that's fine. You didn't— you wouldn't have known yet.
Amanda(as Troy): Quick question, if it's in this little book, I will read it. But do you have something—
Eric: Lil' book, L-I-L' book?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay, great.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That— and that's Eric so I can be delighted by the transcript later, that's why.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you have, I don't know, security in place to make sure that we are not robbed as the greatest concentration of the thing what all pirates kind of want, all gathered in one place?
Eric (as Salix): It's an apt thing to think about, but I think that anyone who has the ability to hold on to the— like, to one of the four keys of the Salmon would be able to defend it for themselves, because there are quite a lot of thieves around here, looking to get into the conference.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): No, that's fair. We all gotta swim if you want to swim situation, you know?
Eric (as Salix): That's— fo— for sure, absolutely.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright. Thanks, man. You've been really helpful.
Eric (as Salix): I'll be around if you need me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thanks, man.
Amanda (as Troy): You should come see my friend Cammie later, have some of her tea.
Julia (as Cammie): I make good tea.
Eric (as Salix): Only if you decide whether you proposition me or not. But I'm sure you make up your mind sooner than rather— than later. I have more goodie bags to give out.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Have you ever considered making a podcast? You got a really nice voice.
Eric (as Salix): No.
Brandon (as Umbi): And a podcast goes on this iPod, and it's a— it's a plant thing, you know?
Eric (as Salix): That's when your— I have— I have enough friends who are peas and legumes in my life, I don't have to record it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cool.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Nice.
Eric (as Salix): I hope all of you have a wonderful time, representative, exiled prince, magician.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you.
Amanda (as Troy): Feels good to be fully known, huh?
Eric (as Salix): It's part of my job.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't love it.
Eric (as Salix): Unfortunately— unfortunately, representative Umbi, this— your reputation precedes you and—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Salix): —there's nothing you can do to hide that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, that's— that's fair.
Eric: At least from people who know where to—at least from people who know when to take up the fertilizer.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's fair, I get it.
Eric (as Salix): I have a particular set of skills.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm not what you would call subtle.
Eric (as Salix): No. I would not call you that either, nor would the various friends, colleagues, not friends and colleagues, and other various peoples you have in your historic wake.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, this was great.
Amanda: Troy sticks out his hand near where one of the gift bags was.
Eric: Salix grasps it.
Amanda: Give a little shake, a little—
Eric: And a little— little— with a little branch hand.
Amanda (as Troy): Great to meet your new friend.
Eric (as Salix): Likewise.
Brandon: Can we read the little book and figure out the situation, what's going on at this conference? Why—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Can we go find, like, a weird circular bench—
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Julia: —just to chill out on?
Amanda: Or— or Julia, a very tall table with no stools.
Julia: Hmm. Hmm.
Eric: Absolutely. There's definitely— there's a— there's an eight top with no stools nearby that you can go and set up time at.
Amanda: Great.
Julia: Exciting.
Brandon (as Umbi): We're so far away from each other at this big table.
Amanda: No, Brandon, we're all clustered around one corner.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Is Aubergine with us?
Julia: We probably should bring him on board. I don't want to just leave him.
Eric: No, Aubergine's with you.
Julia: Alright.
Eric: Yeah. And Havana— Havana is there as well. And as usual, Harold and Sil are looking after the boat.
Amanda: I think Troy is going to, like, kind of not pour out, but deconstruct his gift bag to make sure Havana and Aubergine can grab anything that suits their fancy, but he's gonna open up the pamphlet so we can read it together.
Eric: Sure, yeah. Ask me some questions. What do you want to know? What do you want to know? I think that the— the pamphlet is kind of like— you know, we've been to conferences before. It's like, hey, here's a map of everything. Here's— here's the schedule. Here's some rules, do's and don'ts. Here's some stuff you might want to recognize. A little bio on Lustrous, if you're interested in that. But yeah, whatever you're— whatever— ask me some questions, and we'll talk it out.
Julia: On the schedule, do I see any names that we recognize?
Eric: That's—
Julia: As speakers?
Eric: That's a good question. What do you want— what do you want [17:44] let's roll— let's roll investigation.
Julia: [dice roll] Okay. Rolled a 13 plus 1 for 14.
Eric: Okay. On the pamphlet, there are not speakers, because it is still ambiguous about who exactly were showing up. Because again, they distributed the— the— kind of just mass—, tried to distribute the invites to whoever has it, and whoever showed up, showed up. And also, I'm sure the keys exchanged hands at some point on the way there. So there are no speakers, but you do have a bio of Lustrous Recompense.
Julia: Is he from Open Fields?
Eric: Yes, Lustrous Recompense is from Open Fields. Lustrous Recompense used to be a high-ranking, like, governor, I guess. I think that we've had mayors before, and I think that it's kind of like— there's an executive government system, which is intertwined with the religious ideas of Open Fields or like a duke who is responsible for like a area that they take care of. But Lustrous found out that the meaning of life was just take care of yourself and then after that, you can take care of others. So it's like a little bit of selfishness first, and then once you take— got it all taken care of, then you take care of the world.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Don't love that. Don't love that.
Eric: That's how they found peace and enlightenment and they didn't like that, so the people who are higher up on the path of enlightenment took all of his gold, melted it down, and poured it over his wings, and that's why he looks like the way that he is. But also— and then it just kind of hardened and he got— and his back got super strong, and he was able to carry his own wings around himself. He talked about how strong his back was, and how it took a lot of, like, intense personal weightlifting and— and building your own machines to do so. And then he— he talks about how it seemed like the planter gave him another go around with all of his knowledge, trying to make— live a new life, and this is their next chance.
Julia: So high in strength and charisma, and I keep that in mind.
Eric: Just like delts, so strong.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Strong delts.
Julia: Those glutes, yo.
Eric: Yeah. So the spea— there's an entire speaker page, which is just about Lustrous Recompense, a bio about him and about how he's moderating a conference of having pirates who have the key together about— as he says, "An exchange of ideas and notions to debate and treaties to draft."
Julia: Okay. Interesting.
Eric: Which is the same line that was on the initial invitation.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Also, in the goodie bag, yeah, as I said, is the iPod and there's a lan— and there's lanyards.
Brandon: Is there a badge that we need to put on?
Eric: There's badges, but you gotta— you can write on— you can write your own—you can decide if you want to write it or not.
Brandon: Alright.
Eric: They're like— they didn't print out the badges. They're bla— they're— the bla— the badges are blank.
Julia: Cammie writes her name down and the— and then the little like sprout plant emoji next to it.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Yeah. Any other questions?
Brandon: I mean, like, ultimately, I want to know, like, why we're here.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: But, like— but that's not going to be in the pamphlet, like that— that— you just tell—you just told us why.
Eric: Well, ro— roll an in— roll an investigation check.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: I'm also very curious as to, like, what the topics of the stuff on the schedule are.
Brandon: Yeah, that's true. 18 plus 4, 22.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: On the second page, which continues Lustrous thi— which continues Lustrous Recompense's bio, there are writings and musings about the power that pirates have in the modern Verda Stello world, and how we've all been given a second chance to explore our true selves, as we— the world is not taking care of us, so we have to take care of ourselves by finding ourselves on the Great Salt Sea. And those with the keys are compelled to figure out what we're going to do when we have the salmon together, and all of the pirates who are on that path should talk about what we're going to do. And maybe we'll agree together to write a treatise. There's one— and then there's one more line which— which is confusing. It says, "Us pirates need to talk about our issues because you know that the diamond knot is discussing what should happen next."
Brandon: Oh, okay. So there's no like notion of like— or at least on— in copy in, written down, there's no notion of like, "Let's combine our keys and like, do the thing together or like—"
Eric: With a 22, I think that's implied, but it's written—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —with very flowery philosophical notion. Like, this is, like, write five pages to mean one thing, sort of vi— sort of vibe, where that's inside of it. It's the— it's like, we should wri— let's write something, let's write a treaty about what we're all going to do if we have the key— with our keys, if we're all going to do it.
Brandon: Okay, cool. That's— helps. Alright, cool.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Should we roll like a history check or anything to see if we know anything about the diamond knot?
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Amanda: Well—
Eric: Yeah. Were— unless, Amanda, you want to go hard on that?
Amanda: Yeah, I'm happy to go hard on it because I rolled a Nat 20 and I think—
Eric: Excuse me.
Amanda: —I think when— when Troy sees the phrase, diamond knot in the pamphlet, I picture Troy in the middle of our group, and like Cammie and Umbi are on either side, and then Aubergine and Havana on the other side of them, playing with the iPods and the lanyards or whatever. And Troy's eyes are gonna, like, drift over the top of the pamphlet to scan the rest of the crowd. And the question I was going to ask is around like, what factional interests do I observe? Like Troy, you know, dumb as a bag of rocks, time to time, but one thing that he is really good at is reading a room for where a threat is going to come from. And he's very experienced in knowing where's the coup going to come from next. And so I would love to know if the diamond knot triggers any memories, if we know anything about it, or if I observe any factions already forming in the room.
Eric: Great. That's a great question. Unfortunately, because you rolled before I— because you rolled before I could say this, I think we have to kind of reverse engineer this. Do you want to use this Nat 20 on the term diamond knot or do you want to use an— a— your Nat 20 on a perception check to look around and who's here, and see how this is all kind of coming together?
Amanda: I mean, truthfully, I thought it by question and I rolled the dice before we heard the phrase diamond knot.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I think that's more useful anyway.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay. Cool. So with a Nat 20, for a Troy is not reading.
Julia: Fair.
Eric: Troy is looking around at— at other people who are there.
Amanda: Shockingly.
Eric: Yeah, I'll tell you everyone who you recognize is here, because Troy, you recognized a— a number of people. You see that people are giving a wide berth to Millie, the Maleficent Mercenary, and her weird, weird crew of just absolute scary freaks.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Eric, can I call her Triple M or she'd kill me for that?
Eric: I— it's— that one's up to you. I can't tell you to do what— what you want with your body and your mouth. Her and her crew have, like, camped out on the beach in front of her boats to let everyone know they're there, and they don't want to talk to you.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Eric: I think that you can see talking to a bunch of people kind of holding court over— next to kind of a Tiki Bar situation that's been put together over on the— on the beach is Lucky Edie, is talking to a whole bunch of people, and there's a lot of greenery Greenfolk surrounding her, who you can assume are the crew of the money tree. And she kind of had, like, all for greenery behind her, kind of like as her crew, as her posse, just like flagging her, making her look as interesting and friendly as possible.
Julia: She doesn't have a key.
Brandon: That we know about, yeah.
Julia: That we know about.
Amanda: That we know about.
Julia: Well, so, like, here's the thing is like there are four keys. We know there's multiples of the maze key.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We don't know that there's multiples of the other three.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: So either all of these people have multiples of the maze key, and we also know one person has the sky key, right?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. But invitations went out to lots of people, we haven't yet proved that we have the keys to be there, so this is like them tailgating before the event.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So theoretically, they could have just like come to try and steal.
Eric: Exactly. You can tailgate and not have a ticket to the game.
Julia: Right.
Eric: Yeah. Well, it's interesting you said that because Kid Cervantes is also here, who just absolutely posted up.
Amanda: Troy waves.
Julia (as Cammie): Kid!
Eric: Kid Cervantes moves like stiffly, has their arms out, and then make one, like, swift motion waving to you.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: We still have to rescue his family.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah. No, We're— we're gonna go talk to him.
Brandon: Can we just montage that real quick, Eric? Just montage us doing that, and then we get the key from him.
Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then— yeah. Okay, so—
Julia: Yeah. That's fine.
Eric: —you guys are all now level 15.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Quickly, we just go under the sea.
Eric: Umbi has one eye. Cammie— actually, Julia, roll a new character, and Troy—
Julia: Oh, sorry. Captain Copernicus Cobb is here.
Eric: And Troy has bionic legs.
Amanda: Tight.
Julia: Sick.
Amanda: Much better.
Eric: Great. Who else is here? I think that you noticed that there is a— there's a raucous gathering happening inside of the actual massive whale skeleton, and you can see that there's a lot of nightshades in there, like tomato Greenfolk, and pepper Greenfolk, and eggplant Greenfolk. And there's a lot of purple potatoes that are kind of ambling about, making a very large ruckus happening. Like, it's also separated from everyone else, and it is loud. And there's like— there's like a lot of roughhousing. It's like— there's a lot of roughhousing for fun happening in between this, like, regular party.
Amanda: Can I tell where those nightshades are from or if they're unified? Did they seem like different crews who have come together? Did they feel like they're all from a given country?
Eric: Well, a lot of them have scars, and a lot of them have very strange weapons on them, and clothing on them, which seemed to have been harvested from Mega flora and fauna.
Julia: Can we hear a French accent on the breeze?
Eric: Oh, it's all poutine and swearing on the— on the wind.
Julia: Nice. Mon dieu.
Eric: You also notice, almost for a moment, as kind of the party is like party and crowd coalesces, I think you see Piney for a second.
Brandon: Goddammit.
Eric: Piney, paramore, and left-hand magician to Tessie the Storm of the Book Depository.
Brandon: Now, I don't want to say I told you we should have killed them, but—
Julia: I don't think we should have killed them.
Amanda: They might still be useful for us.
Julia: Yeah. They might owe us a favor. We saved their lives.
Eric: Troy, you're trying to keep your— your attention on Piney as they fade into the crowd, but you're— you immediately are captured by the lightning-fast boat that pulls up. But it's more of like a high-tech windsail because that is, my friend, is Archimedes Sevens, taking off his big waterproof helmet and stepping out onto the beach.
Amanda (as Troy): Sev, you made it.
Julia (as Cammie): Archie.
Eric (as Archie): Hello. I'm here to find my destiny and talk to the folks of the pirates who've also pursued their destiny as well.
Julia (as Cammie): What's up, Archie?
Amanda: Troy's gonna turn to Cammie and Umbi real quick and be like—
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, so real quick. I really want to be Aubergine's, like, wing man here, helping him figure out where he is from, and hopefully getting some info from those Cragish separatists because they might want to murder my brother and, like, part of me is still a little interested in that. So, like, is it cool if I sort of focus on that?
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, I think you're a perfect impartial person to help Aubergine find out about his past.
Brandon (as Umbi): I was gonna say, as long as you will become best friends with them, as long as you don't fucking step on me and Cammie's territory.
Eric (as Aubergine): Troy.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm sorry, my territory.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, my territory.
Julia (as Cammie): My territory.
Brandon (as Umbi): My— my territory.
Eric (as Aubergine): Monsieur Troy, I need to say, I do not think that you might be the best person to introduce me to— with the— with the past. I know that we do not have a lot of time because I am just too busy hanging out with my best friend who is also on your crew, who I'm not going to specify, but—
Brandon (as Umbi): Say the fucking name, Aubergine.
Eric (as Aubergine): But Troy, I might— I— I do not think that this is the best idea.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, man, I don't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do. So, like, if you want to meet a bunch of, you know, people who may know something about you, not just based on your body, by the way, but also your voice. I think that might just be—
Eric (as Aubergine): No, I— I do not find that offensive. I think it was right.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, cool. Okay. Yeah.
Eric (as Aubergine): I think it was proce— reasoning process of elimination.
Amanda (as Troy): Let's just put it out there. I just— I want to support you, and so if that's what you want to do, great. And if what you want to do is just hang out here, and not die, and come back with us to the Hold, that's also fine. But, like, I— I just want to be here for you, man.
Eric (as Aubergine): I just— I— I love the fashions. Where did they get an— such an— such a large maple moose pelt and turn it into an entire outfit? It's incredible.
Amanda (as Troy): Let's go find out. Go say hi. Introduce yourself.
Eric (as Aubergine): A mega—mega— a mega maple moose pelt if you— if I must say.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Aubergine, choose whoever you want to go to talk to those people.
Eric (as Aubergine): I might—
Amanda (as Troy): Because, like, we trust you, but also they're all very stabby pirates.
Eric (as Aubergine): I know. I might— I— I'll figure it out. It's too much pressure. It's too much pressure.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric (as Aubergine): Too much pressure.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Eric (as Aubergine): Too much pressure.
Eric: Troy, I'm going to— because Troy was looking around at everyone else and not paying attention, let's get history checks from Cammie and Umbi.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And I'll— I'll roll on behalf of Havana, who I think also wants to show off that he has read books and is now a doctor.
Brandon: And this is for the diamond knot information?
Eric: History— yeah. History check for diamond knot.
Julia: 17 plus 1 for an 18.
Brandon: Whoa. I got 12 plus 4 for 16.
Eric: Ooh, okay.
Eric (as Havana): Diamond knots, huh? I haven't— I haven't heard of that before. Is that some sort of secret— is that a secret magic, cult that we've—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, it sounded like a tummy problem. What is it?
Eric (as Havana): It's— it's not— I got to—Troy, I can tell you, it's not a tummy problem.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric (as Havana): Which I know from being a doctor.
Julia (as Cammie): He's a doctor.
Eric (as Havana): I'm a doctor.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, you're a doctor.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): What happens when people eat diamonds? Is that bad?
Eric (as Havana): You shouldn't. Umbi, are you eating diamonds?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, I'm not.
Eric (as Havana): Umbi, you said you would be honest with me when we did your physical.
Brandon (as Umbi): I— I told you I'm not eating diamonds anymore, okay?
Eric (as Havana): Anymore?
Brandon (as Umbi): And you also said that my file was fucking secret, or whatever.
Eric (as Havana): I didn't— I didn't say anything about— you're— you're the one bringing up the file. I am not bringing up the— your file. I keep it in the secret ghost room where all of our other files are kept on the ship.
Amanda (as Troy): Yes.
Eric (as Havana): Where the ghost— where the ghost is looking after it.
Amanda (as Troy): Haunted with knowledge. Thank you.
Eric (as Havana): Haunted with knowledge. Thank you, Troy. I don't— I— what do you think? I don't know what the diamond knot is.
Eric: And Umbi and Cammie, you have not heard of the diamond knot before.
Julia (as Cammie): Ah. Dang.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, me, neither. I don't know.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, I have no idea.
Amanda (as Troy): Should we put what is diamond knot on the— the easel thing?
Brandon (as Umbi): I feel like that might call out the diamond knot if they're he— oh, I guess they're not here, though. They're like— okay, yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): What is— I mean, diamonds are very shiny, right? Diamonds cut things real good. Does it mean like the fourth country? It's like— what— what could that mean?
Eric: Troy, I'll let you do a history check, but you have to do a disadvantage because you're Troy.
Amanda: Alright.
Julia: Damn.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know, man, it sounds like— it's a really cool fucking name, though. I gotta say.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Alright. I got 15 and then a 3, I got plus 0.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: You got 3?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: You did it.
Eric: Who kno— Troy, who knows? Who knows? Who knows?
Amanda: I don't know, man.
Eric: Who knows?
Brandon: It's already on the schedule, though, correct? Or is it not?
Eric: It's on the pamphlet. The schedule— the other thing is that the schedule is more about like the whole full day's activities, but there's a whole block— or there's like a massive full day block around discuss pirate things and then—
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: —discuss pirate things continued on day two.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Got it. Got it. Got it.
Eric: There's more stuff in the pamphlet about what Salix said, which is that you can go over to the easel and add something to it if you want to. But you will have to have your key verified before you can put something on the easel.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: And you can see it on the map as well that, like, kind of in the center of the large party pavilion, there's a little easel with like a marker hanging off of a string.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Cute. Cute.
Amanda (as Troy): So, yeah, I mean, I could go talk to Edie, but we should say hi to— to Archimedes and Kid Cervantes.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Also Kid's got that key. I mean, we gotta—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): —you know, we gotta combine some forces here.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can I grab a Mai Tai on the way over?
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Amanda: So we'll leave— we'll leave Aubergine and Havana guarding our gift bags and our cocktail table. And I—
Brandon: I'll take my gift bag with me.
Amanda: Okay. Well, they'll have mine.
Brandon: Not— not to— not to know about you, Amanda, but I don't trust those two.
Eric: Havana has his hand in— in Umbi's bag.
Julia (as Cammie): Havana, you can have my iPod if you want.
Brandon (as Umbi): You touch my iPod, I cut your hand off.
Eric (as Havana): I'll take Cammie's, I'll send it home.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Havana): My mom loves iPods.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, nice.
Eric (as Havana): But we can't— we can't afford them.
Brandon (as Umbi): You're a doctor.
Eric (as Havana): Well, I'd say that's a fair point. Okay. Good point.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do we not pay you enough?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, but he's a pirate doctor, so he's not getting paid.
Eric (as Havana): I need more of— I need a larger split of booty if I'm going—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Who can say? He gets paid in booty.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): Wait— wait, that means two meetings. Hold on. Wait.
Amanda (as Troy): No!
Eric (as Havana): Wait.
Amanda: Troy covers his ears and walks away. And—
Eric: This li-- this joke is so stupid.
Brandon: How does he feel about the word houseboat? Because it is two words.
Amanda: Troy does not know that word. Don't ever tell. him
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: But no, that was okay, because it's— it's specific, it's a portmanteau, and so he's suspicious but he accepts, it because it has one meaning.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Suspicious, okay.
Amanda: But no, Troy's gonna walk over to where Lucky Edie's party.
Brandon: Where are you gonna go, Julia?
Julia: I was just gonna do whoever you didn't do, Brandon.
Brandon: Well, I was going— I— you know— you know, here's the thing, someone needs to talk to Kid Cervantes, which can be me. I'm gonna let Archimedes come to me, because that's what a good mentor does. And then I'm gonna go chase after Piney maybe, and see if I can find Piney, or would you like to do that, Julia?
Julia: I would like to find Piney. That is a good option for me, I feel like—
Eric: That's cool.
Julia: —because I— I think that now that we're on more even ground. I know they're a magician. They know I do magic. Like, we— maybe we can bond a little bit.
Amanda: I love that.
Brandon: Yeah. Probably won't be quite as angry to see your face is close to my face.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, because I didn't blow up a ceiling on them.
Brandon: Right.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: On purpose.
Julia: I also healed them, so they owe me.
Eric: Hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah, then I'll go talk to Kid Cervantes, my best friend, my pal, my role model.
Julia: Go to your good time boy, your big cheese.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: My big cheese.
Eric: Cammie, why don't you give me a perception check?
Julia: I'm good at this. [dice roll] Ooh. It went so far away. Perception. I'm not as good at perception as I thought, but it's still a 22.
Eric: 22.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Alright. The crowd parts for a moment and you see Piney across the way, underneath the palm tree.
Julia: Cammie huffles over there with her little skirt going like—
Julia (as Cammie): Piney, long time no see.
Eric: Dammit. You— you immediately see Piney look up and see you, and then start doing, like, arcane hand symbols, try to— try to cast the spell immediately.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, don't do that.
Eric (as Piney): Nope, I'm going to.
Julia (as Cammie): Why?
Eric (as Piney): Oh, I— sorry, I'm getting called away on business.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Julia: Cammie is going to counterspell whatever the spell is.
Eric: Okay, great. Yeah. Piney puts their hands like they're trying to open a window and, like, pull up. And when they put their hands there, you see that they're actually gripping a window sill, that they're trying to open up.
Julia: And Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Nope.
Brandon: And shuts the window right on their fingers.
Eric: Alright, what do I— what do I do for counters, what do I do?
Julia: Well, what— what level spell is it?
Eric: 3?
Julia: Automatically dispels them.
Eric: You're so rude. You're such a dick.
Brandon: Damn, that's a good spell.
Julia: It's counterspell, baby, it's a good spell.
Brandon: I know.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Alright, yeah. I like— you— you just like wave it away?
Julia: No.
Eric: No.
Julia: Like— like fanning, like, steam off of a tea mug.
Julia (as Cammie): No, no, no.
Amanda: Epic.
Eric (as Piney): Yes.
Julia (as Cammie): I just wanted to catch up.
Eric (as Piney): That— and I— we'll have plenty of time to catch up at the conference, but I'm getting— Tessie needs me to do some stuff, so I have to go do that. And I just— it's hard to have— for me to go do that when you take my mode of egress away from me.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, it's funny that you only decided to go do that thing once I arrived.
Julia: Cammie just wide eyes, like— [giggles]
Eric: Hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I'm sorry, was Piney implying that they move to another spot via Dr. Strange’s portal magic, but a window?
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: That's tight as fuck.
Eric (as Piney): No. Well, you know Te— I— I have— this is— I'm here for— I— Tessie's not here, so I gotta do reconnaissance, so I gotta tell them everything was happening. You know how Tessie is being an all-powerful pirate lord.
Brandon: Tessie, you might say. Tessie.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Piney): What would you like to catch up about, Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie): I was just seeing how you were doing because last time I saw you, I had healed you and brought you back to— from the dead. And I just was seeing how that was going for you, you know, life.
Eric (as Piney): It— it— it's— it's going, it's going.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Piney): I— I want to say also that I appreciate that you did that, and Tessie the Storm doesn't forget a debt, so acknowledged.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool. She did also send ships after us to kill us, but I'm assuming that that doesn't count towards how she feels about us now, and how we— she still kind of owes us.
Eric (as Piney): You put the words right in my mouth, Cammie. How— what are you up—how are you? What have you been up to?
Julia (as Cammie): We're good. You know, trying to find keys and stuff. You know, salmon things.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, salmon things, you're still doing that? You're doing that?
Julia (as Cammie): Salmon things, yeah. Yeah.
Eric (as Piney): Yeah. What's like— oh, you're gonna, like, bring the Cascade back?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. You know, like, I— I've been trying to think about what would be the best for everyone.
Eric (as Piney): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): And I do think the Cascade is like a good option. I don't know if it's the best option.
Eric (as Piney): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): But I still have some time to figure that out, you know?
Eric (as Piney): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Yeah. Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): How about you— what does Tessie want to do when she finds the salmon?
Eric: Hey, make an arcana check.
Julia: Sure. Don't make me keep counterspelling. 19 plus 5 for a 24.
Eric: I rolled a Nat 20. So while you were talking, Piney has been doing arcane hand symbols.
Julia (as Cammie): Piney.
Eric: And then puts their hand under Troy's opened window ceiling and—
Julia (as Cammie): Piney, come on.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, no, I— I'm getting called away.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm not gonna keep wasting third-level spells on you, so I'll go— go ahead.
Eric (as Piney): I— I'm just getting pulled away, you know, work, it hap— it's work— you know, work.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I'll see you around.
Eric: Piney is, like, halfway into the— into the window and just opening up into the mist. I think Pine like— Piney got in backwards so that—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —he— Piney is still facing you. So, like, their bottom half is, like, through the window already gone.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Tell Tessie we say hi, and that we won't forget about our debt.
Eric (as Piney): Oh, I will. No, Tessie won't—Tessie won't— never forget things that she owes to other people.
Julia (as Cammie): Yup. Send my love.
Eric (as Piney): Okay. Will do.
Julia as Cammie): Okay. Bye.
Eric: Make a perception check.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: [dice roll] 3.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Oh, sorry, it's a 2 plus 3 for a 5.
Eric: Oh, that's much better. Good.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: The window slams closed and disappears and Piney is gone.
Julia: Can I look around and be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Did you just go to, like, the other side of the island or something like that?
Eric: That was your perception check because you rolled a 5.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Well, I didn't perceive that, but I wanted to investigate, being like my inkling is you went somewhere else on this island.
Eric: Okay. Give me an insight check.
Julia: [dice roll] An insight check. 10 plus 7, 17.
Eric: I bet Piney is somewhere on the island still, huh?
Julia: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Eric: I bet Piney is somewhere else.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I bet Piney is, like, now behind a big rock.
Brandon: With a Mai Tai.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Damn. Yeah.
Eric: Climbs out of a window, grab someone's drink, and is just behind a rock now.
Julia (as Cammie): I should've and went to talk to someone who actually wants to talk to me. That's on me, I guess.
Eric: Yeah.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, folks, it's Amanda. Welcome to the mid-roll. Listen, if you haven't heard the good news yet, you got to come see us on tour. The Rolling Bones Tour, we'll be visiting Seattle, the twin cities Chicago, Philadelphia, DC, New York, and Boston the last week of March. If you live in any of those cities or know someone who does, help us make this tour a success and tell us with your dollars that you want us to do more touring, okay? Go to jointhepartypod.com/live to get tickets or tell your friends to get tickets now. Thank you so much to our newest patron, Aaron, we hope you are enjoying the ad-free episodes, the patron-only Discord, the bi-weekly party planning podcast that's only for patrons. We have so much goodness in store over at the Join the Party Patreon and you can join by going to patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, I would love to shout-out our most, let's say, starry podcast. It's Pale Blue Pod, y'all. This is an astronomy podcast for people who are kind of overwhelmed by the universe but want to be its friend, which if that doesn't describe me and everyone I love, I— I don't know what does. A big eclipse coming up in the next couple of months. Dr. Moiya McTier, one of the hosts of the show and an astrophysicist and folklorist, is doing all kinds of fun programming around the eclipse, and she and her co-host comedian and writer, Corinne Caputo. Part of that work is every single week, every Monday, releasing new episodes of Pale Blue Pod where they demystify space one topic at a time. It's an incredible show. It's gotten us so many compliments and new listeners, which is absolutely incredible, and you should be one of them. So each episode promises that you'll feel a little less like, "Oh, my God. This is scary." And a little more, "Oh, my God. This is really cool, about space. So what's not to love? Go ahead and listen to Pale Blue Pod in your podcast app, or go to palebluepod.space. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, this is really a time of reflecting on relationships for a lot of us with Valentine's Day last week, and just, I don't know, a lot of time trapped inside with the weather is not that good, at least in my hemisphere. And something that I think has taken me a while to accept and it's still kind of hard, to be honest with you, is feeling like putting work into relationships, or thinking about them, or taking a temperature check is somehow wrong, or means that I am like bad or unqualified to be a person in community with other people. That's not true. Relationships are complex, and for many of us, like the backbone of our lives. And it is completely normal to want to get some outside perspective and help about the relationships in your life, whether it's with, you know, a loved one, or friend, or anybody else, colleagues in therapy. And that's definitely something that I do pretty frequently. But even if what you're focusing on is your relationship to yourself, and you're looking for an online, flexible way to try out, or get back into therapy, try BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you're looking for one or not. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by one of our oldest and favorite sponsors, it is Shaker & Spoon. This is, of course, a subscription cocktail service that helps you learn how to make handcrafted cocktails right at home. They are based right here in Brooklyn, actually, right near the apartment where Eric used to live, which is really cool. And the team over there is so sweet and really, really talented. They send you a box with enough ingredients to make three different cocktail recipes, each of which is developed by a world-class mixologist. All you need to do is buy one bottle of that month's spirit, so maybe it's scotch whiskey, maybe it's a specific kind of rum, maybe it's, you know, mezcal. And then you get to learn lots of different ways to use that ingredient. They send you with all of the— the tinctures and spices and accessories you need to make those drinks, and it's absolutely incredible. By the way, you can get a monthly subscription or you can just order one, or two, or three boxes for you or a friend. I love bringing Shaker & Spoon boxes as like a— a host gift when I'm going and seeing friends, or just having one on hand and doing a little, like, at home date cocktail night. It's really fun. So you can get $20 off your first box at shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. That's shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty for $20 off. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Brandon, what did Umbi want to do?
Brandon: Talk to Kid Cervantes.
Eric: Oh, cool.
Julia: Best friend Kid Cervantes.
Eric: Best friend Kid Cervantes.
Brandon: My best friend, idol, role model.
Amanda: I feel like if you wanted to gesture Archimedes over to you, you could do a little like, you know, games reunion, but only if you want.
Brandon: I don't. I want Archimedes to come to me.
Eric: Okay, cool.
Brandon: It's a power move.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah. No, Kid Cervantes is just straight chillin' as always under a tree, feet firmly in the sand. Like, he's always been planted there. Still wearing a majestic Southwestern poncho, poncho/scarf, and his six-shooter cushion still on his hip.
Julia: Cushion.
Brandon: Fucking tight as hell. I want to do two things. I want to do— first thing, I want to get my best friend Bartlett to start sort of doing reconnaissance around the island.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: At some point, I want to try to spy—
Eric (as Kid): Look at the weird bird.
Julia (as Cammie): It's so dry.
Eric (as Kid): Why is it so dry? The— it— what—
Julia (as Cammie): Is that bird okay? Does it have a disease?
Eric (as Kid): Why is there a bi— why— it's— is the bird living on this skeleton? That sucks for the bird.
Julia (as Cammie): There's bees that live here. Does the parrot eat the bees?
Eric (as Kid): I— how— what is the symbiotic relationship between the seabees and the parrot?
Julia (as Cammie): That's a good question. Good question.
Eric (as Kid): We're sailors, so we just have a— a main nature bullshit to talk about.
Julia (as Cammie): Someone's got— there has to be a naturalist or something on this island, right?
Eric (as Kid): I'm a naturalist and I don't know—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh.
Eric (as Kid): —what's happening. I was cursed by a pelican.
Amanda: I really thought you were gonna say a naturalist of booty, Eric.
Eric (as Kid): Also I'm here and I am a naturalist of booty.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: Tight, bro.
Brandon: Quawk. Naturalist of booty. Quawk.
Eric: There it is.
Amanda: Yeah. Hey, Brandon— Brandon, put that on the soundboard. Brandon, clip it. Brandon, clip it.
Eric: Yeah, rec— yeah, for sure, recon.
Brandon: Yeah. And at some point, I want— later to go specifically at Triple M. But first, I'm going to walk over to Kid Cervantes—
Eric: Here— wait, let's resolve the parrot stuff. Let's do that first.
Brandon: Well, I have to look through his eyes and I don’t want to.
Julia: Umbi just passes out on the floor for 5 minutes.
Eric: Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Julia: And I'm like, "Oh, there he goes."
Brandon: Like, I'd have to go, you know, sit on a chair or something. Yeah.
Eric: You can do that. That's fine.
Julia: No, I think you should pass out on the floor, Brandon.
Brandon: Cool. Yeah. Let's do that before I go over to Kid Cervantes then— and Umbi's gonna grab his Mai Tai, go grab a stool at the bar, and just sort of look nonchalant. Like, you know, in school, when you put sunglasses on.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: When you try to sleep in class.
Eric: You want to pretend you're not sleeping?
Brandon: In movies, at least.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: He's gonna do that. He's gonna put sunglasses on and, like, put the straw in his mouth, and then go into Bartlett's eyes.
Eric (as Millicent): Whoa. This old dude drank too much alcohol and sugar.
Brandon: And I would love to go spy on Triple M.
Eric: Sure. Yeah. Give me a perception check because you're up high.
Julia: Truly, the one person on this island who might know that you have a parrot is the one you sent to spy on.
Brandon: 8 plus 4 for 12.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And if this wasn't clear, what I'm trying to figure out is if Triple M was the one that shot the bomb at me.
Eric: Oh, no. I didn't know that.
Julia: You think she's gonna, like, be talking about like, "Yeah, I fucking, like ,shot that guy and I fucked him up."
Brandon: Maybe one of her henchmen was the one, yeah.
Eric: Well, I can hear— what I can say is, yeah, you can— the— the parrot can fly over the ship, checks stuff out. Things that are out right now, they have— you know how you guys intentionally have a bad ship—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —to look unassuming?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I think Millicent and her band of pirate freaks didn't do it intentionally, but it sure does look like you're— she's on a ghost ship.
Julia: A lot of tattered—
Eric: It's like— like she— it is so beat up. It is broken—
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: —and it's spooky on there.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Yar! You're living in a ghost story, baby, is the vibe you're getting from this ship. It's just like— they're intentionally living in absolute squalor, and not fake, this looks bad. But there's just holes in the ship. There is— it's rotting in different places, and they have a lot of weaponry on board. Like, there are pincers on the bottom of the ship to make ramming it extra hard. Lots of cannons, lots of places for weird dudes to hang out and jump on other— other ships and make everyone have a really bad time.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But you don't see any sniper equipment. You don't see this kind of lightweight metals, bomb— or even bomb manufacturing, or even like boxes that say TNT on it. You don't see any of that out.
Brandon: Okay. Good.
Eric: Now with a 12, you don't see it out. Still might have it, but—
Brandon: Right.
Eric: —her ship is not aligned for sniper capability. She wants you to know who did it. She wants you to know it was her.
Brandon: Yeah, I was gonna say, like, I don't think she would worry about hiding the evidence if she were to hit someone with that kind of weapon.
Eric: Good point. Good point.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Good point.
Brandon: And I don't hear anyone talking about it or anything, I assume as well.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Pirate NPC): What's your favorite way to cut somebody into pieces? My favorite is this go from the bottom and go up. Yar.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Cool. Okay.
Eric (as Pirate NPC 2): Oh. I'm also partial to splitting them like a sandwich.
Julia: Cleft in twain.
Eric (as Pirate NPC 2): Which means cutting off the crust and then in triangles.
Brandon (as Umbi): And digging it out some of the bread.
Julia: The— the crust is the skin.
Eric (as Pirate NPC 2): The crust is the skin for me. I'm a crust-less guy.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: That's what he said. And then with a 20—
Brandon: Who ha— who rolled a 20?
Eric: Well, I rolled a Natural 20, so here's what happens.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Millicent looks up and— and watches Bartlett fly around. And then reaches down into her pocket and pulls something out, but you can't really see from far away from where Bartlett is. And then she rears back and throws it up at Bartlett. And as it gets closer and splooshes over Bartlett's face.
Brandon: I have an armor class, so if you're attacking me, you gotta roll, buddy.
Eric: Yeah, it's called a Natural 20, my man.
Brandon: You— so you rolled a Natural 20 to both see me and also to attack me?
Eric: [dice roll] Hey, does a 17 hit?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Great. Okay. So hits you with some seabee jelly, and then—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —you hear [buzzing noise] as a bunch of seabees look up from their hive over on the skeleton, and then started flying towards Bartlett.
Julia: Cool. Cool. Cool.
Brandon: Well, like when you are falling asleep and you have a sudden muscle jerk, Umbi is going to go out of Bartlett's eyes and let Bartlett deal that— with that, like an animal can.
Eric: Okay. So I just want everyone to know, over—
Julia: Dude, just— hold on— hold the fuck on. I was called brutal because I said, "Let's give a dog to a bird." And you just abandoned your familiar.
Brandon: I— I don't— I don't— who would you rather have in control of the plane, the pilot or the guy who's pretending to be a pilot?
Eric: I just want to make it clear that throughout the next scenes, we are watching Bartlett fly away from five seabees chasing them, just so you know. That's happening, like, in the sky over all these— over the sea.
Brandon: Great.
Julia: Heartless.
Eric: That's happening.
Julia: Heartless.
Eric: That's— that's happening.
Brandon: I can also rebuild them if they die.
Amanda: Brandon, I'm following, it's just extremely funny.
Brandon: Great. So, yeah, Umbi is gonna jerk awake, and like his sunglasses fall off.
Eric (as Bartender): Whoa. Oh, old timer, you drink too much alcohol and sugar together?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Bartender): Alright. You're cut— you're cut off, my man.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no. I meant no, then. Fuck, no, no!
Eric (as Bartender): You're cut off. That's what they always say, then they always get mad. Alright.
Brandon: Alright. He's going to throw a tip over to the bartender, like a doubloom, which I don't know what a good tip is in doublooms.
Eric (as Bartender): Whoa! 5 amber, that's so nice.
Julia: No, no. Absolutely not.
Eric (as Bartender): Whoa. Thank you. This is gonna change my life.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no, that's not what happened.
Eric (as Bartender): I can finally get off from this skeleton.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, no. Sorry. I was just— I was just getting my amber out so I can get to my doublooms.
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: Bummer.
Julia: Wow. Umbi really is a fucking boomer, huh?
Amanda: It looks past the 20s to give somebody who's asking for money a single, yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: That's like when I— when I haggle with people and I'm like, "Alright, I've gotten you down to $5, here's a 20."
Amanda: Tough.
Brandon: He gives the bartender one doubloom and then walks away.
Amanda: Tough.
Julia: Brutal.
Eric (as Bartender): You're— you're definitely cut off, because you're— okay, boomer. Alright, that— you're a boomer because you're carrying so many bombs around.
Julia: You're literally a boomer.
Eric: Literally a boomer.
Brandon (as Umbi): Get a real job.
Brandon: And he's going to walk towards Kid Cervantes and sort of like all male presenting people do. Stand next to each other side by side, instead of face-to-face, and he's going to—
Eric: Not look at each other, yeah.
Brandon: —post up exactly in the way that Kid Cervantes is with his lens and sort of sit there silently for a second.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: And quiet and then go—
Brandon (as Umbi): What up, man?
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Kid Cervantes does a— does a shrug at you, and then looks quizzical like—
Eric (as Kid): Why'd you tip that guy so bad?
Julia: Good question.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can you still not speak right?
Eric: Kid Cervantes moves an arm and gestures toward his face, which has no mouth.
Brandon: Great.
Brandon (as Umbi): Would you like a truth serum to get a mouth or are you just kind of— or you just want chill with me like this? I guess I should ask one question and then the other ones, you could give me a yes or no answer.
Eric (as Kid): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): First ques— first question first, and if you— if it's a yes, move, and if it's a no, don't move.
Eric: Kid Cervantes reaches out, pushes out the spines of his hand, like sticks into the potion. And as— and he— and he maneuvers that and pours that kind of over— over his face. And once again, bursting to life is a whole gaping mouth that he now speaks— he can now speak out of.
Brandon (as Umbi): Waddup, my dude?
Eric (as Kid): Oh. Oh, what up, Umbi?
Brandon (as Umbi): It's been a long time.
Eric (as Kid): Why did you tip that guy so bad?
Julia: Good question.
Brandon (as Umbi): Wait, how much are you suppose— that was like—that was 5%, what are you supposed to do?
Eric (as Kid): I'm not going to use my valuable time with a mouth on this, but I appreciate you offering the mouth potion to me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Of course. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to see what was up, how you were doing, what you've been up to, but also like, are we still chill? Are we like, you know, gonna sort of work together here?
Eric (as Kid): Oh, we're good. I need more time to work on the plan to recover my family.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, good. Okay.
Eric (as Kid): No, if you were anx— if you were anxious about whether or not I was calling upon you, no, I did not. You had not rebuffed my request. I just did not—
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you.
Eric (as Kid): —use the request yet.
Brandon (as Umbi): Great. Good, good, good. Well, yeah, I mean, we'll stay here for you whenever you need us.
Eric (as Kid): Of course, of course. And same to you.
Brandon (as Umbi): You don't— were— like you wanna have like an alliance here with us? Like, make sure that, like, what we want to happen happens, because like we got— we've got like, you know, like 2.5 out of 4 of the key, you know? Like, we've got— we've got 1.5— we've got one and the blueprints to make one. You got one— that's like— you know, is it— you know, like when you do a hostile takeover of a company and you get 51% of the board? That's what we got right now, you know?
Eric (as Kid): What blueprints? What do you mean? How can you have— how— what blueprint?
Brandon (as Umbi): We got blueprints to make one of the keys.
Julia: You didn't also drink a truth potion?
Brandon: No, I trust Kid, though.
Julia: He almost murdered Troy.
Eric: In— in—
Brandon: In a competition.
Amanda: Yeah. Who hasn't?
Eric: In a game, in a game.
Amanda: Who hasn't?
Eric: Julia, best friend of zombie queen.
Julia: She hasn't tried to kill us yet.
Eric: That's— that's debatable. That's incredibly debatable.
Amanda: Only via the Anglerfish.
Julia: Just— just— yeah.
Amanda: Second-degree murder.
Julia: We don't even know if the Anglerfish was her.
Brandon: Manslaughter at best. Manslaughter at best.
Amanda: Manslaughter at best.
Eric (as Kid): Wha— what— what blueprint? Tell me— could— I'm interested.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's on the boat, but it's plans to make one of the keys, I'm not sure which one it is, but— yeah.
Eric (as Kid): Where did you get it? What— this is— I didn't know— I had never considered where they're supposed to be from, where that anyone would manufacture them. I thought it was divine, and yet the Greenfolk toil and fritter away our time, trying to be as if divide.
Julia: I like— I like when has a mouth.
Eric (as Kid): Where— how— I— I'm— I had— I— I am— my mind is reeling at the possibility.
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, that's great. So alliance, like what are you thinking? Like, are we working together on this? What do you— what do you need from me?
Eric (as Kid): I don't know what. I would like to look at the blueprint.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Oh, yeah, you wanna come back to the ship?
Eric (as Kid): Yes, of course. But I—
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's go.
Eric (as Kid): Before— before we go, Umbi, I want to make clear, I don't— I don't ha— I am not someone who makes grand plans. I am not someone who talks or I'm not someone who acts with my mouth, someone who acts with my hands.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, you're— you're a pledge of action, I know. That's what we need. I don't— I'm not, like, saying that we need to, like, do a coup or anything. I'm just saying like, you back us up, we back you up, and— and then we get it rolling, you know?
Eric (as Kid): I'm not sure what I could provide as backing you— as you say, backing you up, as I do not know what I need backup on, and I don't know what I agree or do not agree with what you need to be backed up with.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know, either. Yeah, we will find out while we go to the free part of the schedule, you know? But we'll find out together, I think, and we'll know when we know, you know? I'll— I'll do a sim— I'll do a sign, you know?
Eric (as Kid): Interesting.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm not asking for anything complicated.
Eric (as Kid): I will convey what I— I will convey what I can— I will convey what I can. It's interesting. It's—
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, assuming that at some point, if we make a treaty or whatever, like a — whatever they call it here, like they're going to need your buy-in.
Eric (as Kid): I'm not someone who easily agrees to treaties that I do not firmly believe in.
Brandon (as Umbi): Exactly. Yeah. So like if you don't believe in the treaty, and I do, and then you're like, "No, no, no." Then I'll be like, "No, no, no, no." And then the reverse is true, you know?
Eric (as Kid): Okay. As long as you understand where I'm coming from, I cannot agree to something— to something I do not believe and can act upon. And I have larger— I have larger matters to attend than a piece of paper scribbled upon by green hands.
Brandon (as Umbi): Kid, I gotta tell you, if there's a treaty that you don't like, it ain't good enough for us either, bud.
Eric (as Kid): Hmm. You're smarter than your countenance belies, bomb—bomb man.
Brandon (as Umbi): I know. I look like a— I look like a silly, dancing old man, don't I?
Eric (as Kid): You look like that even when you are not actively silly dancing. Interesting.
Brandon (as Umbi): Or that— that guy from the Six Flags commercial.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Your— Brandon, your physical acting perfectly signaled that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's go to the ship, baby. I'll show you those plans.
Eric: [squawks] [buzzes] As Bartlett is being chased, and— and now has holes in him as stabbed by the seabees. Cammie, give me a perception check.
Julia: Of course. [dice roll] 13 plus 3 for a 16.
Brandon: 16.
Eric: You think you see Piney again in the crowd?
Julia: Cammie just waves—
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, goodbye, Piney. We'll talk later.
Eric: Piney waves and then— and then— the crowd shifts and then shifts again and you don't see him— and then you don't see him again.
Julia (as Cammie): He's really wasting a lot of third-level spells.
Amanda: I'm really picturing Piney as both Homer Simpson and the shrub.
Eric: Yes. Pi— Piney is the shrub going back into the shrub.
Brandon: Incredible.
Eric: Oh, for sure. Alright, Troy.
Julia: Troy.
Amanda: Hey, what's up?
Eric: Hey, Troy, what are you doing, bud?
Amanda: I'm walking over to— to Lucky Edie and the pumpy is with me, but we're playing—we're playing with some options here now that I've learned how to crochet. I have made a little lead for him, so we're practicing walking on a lead.
Brandon: Oh. That's cute.
Eric: Hmm. That's good.
Brandon: How's it going so far?
Amanda: Ah, challenging, he loves to sniff.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda: And then Troy loves to look, and so together, there's like a 50/50 chance we make it to where we're going. But we're— we're gonna— we're gonna kind of amble over to where Lucky Edie is.
Eric: For sure. I feel that there's a lot— so again, Lucky Edie is holding court both with her own crew and with a bunch of people who are there, including Lustrous Recompense. The first thing you notice is the big golden wings. And you as a butterfly, you realize that your— these wings are locked in place open. Like, they are fully out and— and large, and heavy out.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So Lustrous is— is taking up a lot of space metaphorically and physically at all times.
Amanda: When I noticed that Lustrous is in the group, can I roll perception to see who else is nearby? Are there any other social groups nearby? Or if this is, like, dominating the whole space?
Eric: I gotta tell you, no, Edie is dominating the space. This is like—
Amanda: Alright. Shocker.
Eric: Edie is— Edie has captured the attention of all on-lookers in the area.
Amanda: Alright. So as we get closer, Troy is going to drop the pumpy's leash and let him bound over to where the people are.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, man my— my pumpy got loose. Gu— make sure— the— I'm not sure if he can swim yet.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no, a puppy's loose.
Brandon: Oh, no a puppy's loose.
Eric: Lucky Edie reaches down with her not knife hand and he says—
Amanda: Nice.
Eric (as Lucky): Aw, it's your— it's pumpy. Troy. Oh, my God. It's Troy Riptide.
Amanda (as Troy): Edie, I can't believe you're here too.
Eric (as Lucky): One of my good friends, formally former Prince of the Crags turned pirate is also here and my friend who is here.
Amanda (as Troy): You're right.
Eric (as Lucky): Oh, my God.
Amanda (as Troy): I— I don't like to lead with that. I don't want to brag—
Eric (as Lustrous): Edie, you know the former Prince? That's so interesting. You only get interestinger and interestinger.
Eric: That was Lustrous, just so you know.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy does a deep bow, and at the nadir of his bow, the lowest point of the bow, he's gonna, like, reach behind him and yank off his wing covers, so that when he straightens back up, his wings unfurl behind him.
Brandon: Oh. Beautiful.
Eric: Lustrous is clapping like a baby king.
Eric (as Lustrous): What a trick.
Julia: I don't like this guy.
Amanda (as Troy): A pleasure to meet you, my Lord.
Eric (as Lustrous): Oh, I am not a Lord. I am disgraced just as you are, but I'm living at the disgrace. The another— the— this next chants by the planter. It's New Game Plus for me, maybe.
Amanda (as Troy): Has anyone ever called you your disgrace?
Amanda: And Troy winks.
Eric (as Lustrous): I would— oh, now everyone should. Okay. My friends, call me Your Disgrace, not Lust— not Lustrous, not late for dinner, and certainly, not Lustrous Recompense. But I'm keeping in my mind that I got the chance to change it again.
Amanda (as Troy): Very well, my lord. Good decision. I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation here.
Amanda: And Troy scoops up the pumpy.
Amanda (as Troy): A new addition to our crew you see.
Amanda: And he bounces him invitingly.
Eric (as Lucky): Oh, my God. It's so cute. You're so cute with Troy, right? Every— light— right, crew of the— of the money tree? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Eric: And all the greenery wiggle.
Amanda (as Troy): I— Edie, I just— I wanted to say hi and— and catch up. I don't want to interrupt. I'll— I'll— I'll head out soon. But actually, my— your— your disgrace, may I ask you somewhat embarrassing of a question?
Eric (as Lustrous): Well, no question is embarrassing if you take care of yourself, you take care of yourself, mind— econo— mindfully, economicafully, and intelligentfully.
Amanda (as Troy): Well— well put. I— I was reading your remarks in— what's in the pamphlet.
Eric (as Lustrous): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): And I— I have to admit, I have not heard of the diamond knot before. Could— what— what is it and what does it mean?
Eric (as Lustrous): Oh, you haven't heard of the diamond knot? Troy—Troy Riptide, disgraced Prince, I thought of anyone, you would have known.
Amanda (as Troy): I have been at sea for several years, and before that, I did not really read, so that— that is on me.
Eric (as Lustrous): Uh-hmm. I appre—I appreciate your willingness to look a fool in front of—even in— even in public, it's—
Amanda (as Troy): I try.
Brandon: Troy is like, "What's— what's that? What, look a fool?
Eric (as Lucky): I'll— I— I can take this.
Eric: As Lucky Edie steps forward.
Eric (as Lucky): Troy—
Julia: Fucking, of course.
Eric (as Lucky): Troy, the leaders of the Four Nations of Verda Stello have always had relationships with each other. Even on the surface, where countries are fighting and warring with each other, they've always carved out time with the designated representatives to— to figure out what is best for— what is best for our great floating green donut in the sky.
Brandon: Bialy, please.
Eric (as Lucky): Oh, our great— sorry. Our great floating green bialy in the sky. I'm— maybe you aren't allowed to know— to know that in the secrets in the changing of the hands in— the cha— the changing of the hands of the Crags, and maybe only your family was in power for long enough. I know about the Crags. I— Troy, I'm speaking to your experience, is that— I— maybe you had not heard, the— the representative was not put in the— in the place that it should have, but it's happening, it's coming in— if they are able to unite, then the pirates and the Great Salt Sea should be able to unite as well. We want to be able to make choices for ourselves, for pirates understanding what should be best for Verda Stello. For what we've learned here that the other four countries around the center, they— they just don't know.
Amanda (as Troy): No lords, no rulers, just the big crib.
Eric (as Lucky): Well—
Amanda (as Troy): As we say.
Eric (as Lucky): Well, there will be— well, there— there will be rulers, and there are rulers and it will be in their hands what will happen if they get to all of the ke— if they get to the keys first.
Amanda (as Troy): So it happens like in a place every year? You're— you're right, Edie, my— my brother— I don't know if you guys know my— my brother. He's— he's the king.
Eric (as Lustrous): Tell me, it's so dramatic and interesting.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, King— King Hyperion. Anyway, he— he only took over a little while before I left and I was— there's like—
Eric (as Lustrous): Because everyone was murdered?
Amanda: Troy takes a deep breath.
Amanda (as Troy): Yep, nope. Guy— guy just murder them all and then— yeah. And then, you know, I was— I was in the guard, I should tell you about that sometime, a lot— a lot— a lot of stabbing. But I'll— I'll tell you about that later. Anyway, yeah, so I— I didn't know this—this stuff. I was— I was the one in— in the— in the king's guard. You know, I— I didn't do them the book stuff.
Eric (as Lucky): Hmm. Uh-hmm. I've heard of this. Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): But— but Edie, it's happening soon, it happens in a place?
Eric (as Lucky): It's happening at some time, it can only happen in— no, it happen— I have— for— I do have friends throughout all four of the countries of Verda Stello, and they're only able to tell me as much as they can tell you. It's classified information, so I can't share it in such a public— public space such as this, but I've heard, it's happened, could happen, or is happening at the moment.
Brandon: She doesn't know fucking shit.
Julia: She doesn't know anything. Doesn't fucking know anything.
Amanda (as Troy): I see.
Amanda: Troy holds the pumpy closer.
Eric: Do you want to do an insight check, or you're— you're just going off vibes?
Julia: Yeah, yeah. Fucking insight on her.
Amanda: Um, yeah.
Julia: She makes me so mad.
Brandon: Amanda is like, "I have negative 22 insight, is that bad?
Amanda: Yeah, no, I am— I'm just thinking— actually, Eric—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —Troy is going to, like, shift the pumpy from his chest, like his hip toward Lustrous.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: So that the pumpy can, like, lick him or, you know, engage them a little bit to try to, you know, get his attention off of me.
Eric (as Lustrous): Ooh, you're licking my folds.
Amanda: Hoo. And he's gonna lean in real close to Edie. And for perhaps the second time in this campaign, I would like to intimidate Lucky Edie and say—
Amanda (as Troy): Tell me when and where it is.
Julia: I think you should sexually intimidate her. You're like, "It's so hot." You're like, "Oh."
Eric: Only Umbi does that with Millicent.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Goddammit.
Amanda: Listen, if Lucky Edie takes some from it, that's up to her. But no, Troy's gonna lean in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Give me more to intimidate. It's like—
Eric (as Lucky): I have secure contacts. I can't tell you.
Amanda: Troy's going to shift the pumpy over toward Lustrous, lean in real close to Edie and say—
Amanda (as Troy): I'd hate to embarrass you in front of all your friends, tell me where and when the fuck it is right now or else they're going to know about all the embarrassing things we know about you back at the Hold.
Eric (as Lucky): Oh, no. You know my skincare routine?
Eric: Yeah, give me an— give me an intimidation check.
Julia: We know you— we know your house is full of mold now, because of those Magnolia plants.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Well, I did roll a 6, but it's plus 6 for a 12.
Eric: Oh, okay.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Does— can your pumpy give you a help action?
Amanda: No, I wish.
Eric: On intimidation, I don't know.
Julia: The pumpkin starts growling.
Brandon: Oh. Oh, that's an idea.
Amanda: The roll is what it is.
Brandon: But Amanda, if we can give you more roll—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: —we should cheat.
Eric (as Lucky): Troy, I have my contacts and they— they can only tell me as much as they can tell me. If I knew, I would tell you, for sure.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you know where? Do you know anything?
Eric (as Lucky): Do I know anything? Of course, I know. And I think you can't goad me into telling you classified information.
Amanda (as Troy): Classified for who? For the benefit of the diamonds?
Eric (as Lucky): Troy, I can't betray my contacts, even for you. Oh, Troy, you're so— Troy, I—you— yes, you can come over to the money tree and see where we keep all the treasure. You don't have to be embarrassed about that.
Amanda (as Troy): Ha, ha, ha. Gotta put this one down for his nap. Great to meet you. My disgrace and—
Eric (as Lustrous): [grumbles happily]
Amanda (as Troy): —everybody else, Edie's friends, well, she's never talked about you to me. Anyway, I'll— I'll see you guys later. Bye-bye.
Eric (as Lucky): We're— we have vibrant lives at the money tree.
Amanda: And Troy's gonna head back toward the ship.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And as Troy walks up to the ship, fading in from the distance, you just hear like Umbi being like—
Brandon (as Umbi): And then I told him like, "Have you tried this for your skincare routine and then like—"
Eric (as Kid): I don't see how she would take that that, nicely. She doesn't seem to like you.
Brandon (as Umbi): Wait, what?
Eric (as Kid): Now, I have only had a— now, I have— I have only had a mouth for 2 hours in total, but it's my sense that— it is my sense that she does not really like you that much.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, shit. Oh, man. Well, here's the blueprints.
Amanda: Troy's gonna roll up on the ship, a little bit lost in thought, holding the pumpy. And when he gets there, he sort of like takes it in, like, you know, the— the camera zooms in on like— Umbi's there, Kid's there, Kid has a mouth, the blueprints are out, Kid is there, Kid has a mouth, the blueprints are out, and Troy's gonna be like—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, hey, Troy, what up? You wanna come say hi to Kid?
Eric (as Kid): Troy, what— what is up?
Amanda (as Troy): Uh—
Eric (as Kid): It is fine. We're— we are alliance.
Brandon (as Umbi): We're forming an alliance, baby.
Eric (as Kid): This is—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): We found an idol.
Amanda (as Troy): I— I thought—
Eric (as Kid): This is interesting. The— it seems like the only nation that would be able to develop such an infernal machine and pla— and write it out so clearly with the hubris that it wouldn't be stolen by others, has to be Hothouse. Someone's making a move, someone wants to— someone is navigating around the intention of the— of the quest.
Brandon (as Umbi): That is exactly what I thought and had not had the chance to share with my crewmates yet.
Amanda: Troy's gonna, like, pop his head back up above board and look around wildly for Cammie. Cammie, are you anywhere near the ship?
Julia: I think Cammie was gonna go talk to Archimedes Sevens since no one else seemed to do that.
Amanda: Got it.
Julia: Cammie's got a little Mai Tai, just walking around, being like—
Julia (as Cammie): I wonder where Archie is.
Eric: As you're watching, you're looking around for Piney, and you see Archimedes Sevens go up to Salix, get a gift bag, and then promptly go over to his ship, and then open up a hatch, and jump down into nothing. And then just is gone.
Julia: Can I— can I call out to him as I see him heading back to the boat?
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Julia: Okay. I think Cammie's like—
Julia (as Cammie): Archie! Archimedes!
Eric (as Archie): Oh, hello.
Julia (as Cammie): Hi.
Eric (as Archie): You— I'm going— I need to make sure that before the conference, I get my 13 hours of sleep, the optimal number of sleep.
Julia (as Cammie): Why is everyone avoiding me? I'm feeling very self-conscious now.
Eric (as Archie): I'm not avoiding you. We had so much good times together at—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Archie): —the place that we were and I need to get my regimen that— I have a very strict regimen that I have to follow.
Julia (as Cammie): The Bull— do you not remember me, we met at the Bullseye Games?
Eric (as Archie): Are you Troy?
Julia: Can I do an insight check? What's happening?
Eric: Yeah, do an insight check.
Brandon: Fucking brutal, man.
Julia: It was devastating.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Julia: Jesus Christ.
Amanda: I'm sweating.
Julia: [dice roll] 13 plus 7 for a Dirty 20.
Eric: Archimedes just does not remember you. If I know Cammie enough, Cammie tries to find the good intention behind people's actions. Once that wave goes by, like Archimedes has only enough brain power, enough RAM in his brain to hold, like, quest relevant people in his head. Like if it's not on the main quest line, he does not keep it in his mind.
Julia (as Cammie): I'm not— I'm not Troy.
Eric (as Archie): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): Do you remember Umbi? He was also on our crew. He was like your mentor/grandpa.
Eric (as Archie): Oh, yes. The— my— my Oracle. Yes, of course. He's guided me. I— I thought what would— what would the old man I met at the— the Bullseye games do and I've reflected upon it, and it's helped me. And by— I guess it hasn't helped me. It's gotten me into trickier situations, but it was more of a growing activity, and I think that was my fault.
Brandon: Does he have a bracelet that says WWTGFTVGD?
Julia: Oh, my God, come on.
Eric: No— no. He has a locket of where it says that.
Julia: Can I see— like did he have a reaction when I said Umbi's name?
Eric: Yeah. Oh, he's flushed. He's— he remembers him fondly.
Julia: Fondly? Interesting.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: With my Dirty 20, it was fondly.
Eric: It was fondly, yeah, for sure. I can just tell you that. That's not—you don't even have to roll for that. Like, he— he remembers Umbi fondly as his oracle and as a guiding— as a guiding light in his life.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. He taught you how to play tricks, like, you know, blowing people up and stuff, right?
Eric (as Archie): Yeah, and sometimes it worked. But other times, I— sometimes it worked by perpetrating violence on others as a way to get what you want. But other times, it doesn't work, and they don't like that.
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi taught you well.
Eric (as Archie): Yeah. Uh-huh.
Julia (as Cammie): It's almost like he taught you that you could do violence on someone as a goof, and then they would react positively to that.
Eric (as Archie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): And maybe that's why he got blown up earlier.
Eric (as Archie): Oh. He got blown up earlier? By whomst?
Julia: Insight— insight check.
Eric: Sure. Insight.
Brandon: Is he— is he Kid Cervantes?
Julia: Genuine surprise. [dice roll]
Brandon: Did my best friend shoot me, Eric?
Julia: I rolled another 13 plus 7 for a Na— a Dirty 20.
Eric: Oh, I also got a 20. I got 17 plus 3. Alright, let's roll again.
Brandon: Roll again.
Julia: Roll again. [dice roll] Roll. Okay. 11 plus 7 for an 18.
Eric: I got 11 plus 3, goddammit. Okay, here we go.
Julia: Did he seem surprised by that news?
Eric: He seemed surprised.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I would say with an 18, you're like 75% sure.
Julia: Okay. It's not— it's not a lot.
Brandon: I don't know that he's a very good actor.
Julia: I don't think he's a very good actor.
Brandon: Right.
Julia: He's very—
Amanda: Straightforward.
Eric (as Archie): Why— why would he— who— I— actually, no, I should not ask that question. I know exactly why the wise boomer would get blown up. I can see how he has accrued many enemies in his times.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Well, he got blown up by a very small bomb that seemed to get sniped at him from a distance.
Eric (as Archie): Ah, long distance, the coward's distance.
Julia (as Cammie): You're— you're a sniper. I know you don't remember me from the Bullseye games, but I remember you from the Bullseye games and your whole thing was sniping.
Eric (as Archie): Well, it's part of the repertoire I have to have, as future buil— as future builder.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Archie): I have to know the distance. I can have my own personal feelings talking about whether or not long range, short range, or hand-to-hand combat is the preferred combat. So I— and I competed— I competed because of my skill. I had to— it was my responsibility to inflict my skill and wit upon the games as they were brought.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Did you also, I don't know, pick up bombs on the— on the road since we last saw you?
Eric (as Archie): No. No, I—
Julia (as Cammie): Are you lying?
Eric (as Archie): Am I lying? No.
Julia (as Cammie): When you say it like that, I just want you to know it sounds like you're lying.
Eric (as Archie): Okay. Can I go again?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Archie): No, I didn't.
Julia (as Cammie): Still— still not great. Wanna try one more time?
Eric (as Archie): No. No. No.
Julia (as Cammie): You don't want to try one more time?
Eric (as Archie): No— what? I— I'm sorry. Troy, I'm so— I'm so confused.
Julia (as Cammie): That's not my name. That's not my name.
Eric (as Archie): I'm— I'm just— if I don't get my 4— if I don't get my 13 hours— I'm already— I'm already 5 minutes behind on my two— on my two-hour sleep routine. I— I need to go. I'm sorry.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. I—
Julia: Does he have the same boat as the last time we saw him?
Eric: He does. He does.
Julia (as Cammie): It's interesting you got your boat back since someone stole it from you last time we saw you.
Eric (as Archie): Oh, yeah. No, this is a new boat. I— I made it. I remade it. I don't know where the old one is. Do you know where the old one is? I could use it.
Julia (as Cammie): I— I just saw someone leave with it. I don't—
Eric (as Archie): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't remember who it is.
Eric (as Archie): I left— who left with it?
Julia (as Cammie): I honestly can't remember. It was either the dandelion guy or someone else.
Brandon: It wasn't dandelion guy.
Eric: It was Threelips, right?
Julia: I know— I know that.
Eric: Okay, I wanted— sorry, that was my DM responsibility. I'm sorry.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Archie): Okay. Well, it had like— it had letters from my den mother on it, so—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric (as Archie): If you have it--
Julia (as Cammie): That's very sweet.
Eric (as Archie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Did you also potentially have sniper guns with little bombs?
Eric (as Archie): I can review an old inventory, I don't know.
Julia (as Cammie): Can you just let me know like later, after you're 13 hours of sleep?
Eric (as Archie): I'll— I'll try to re— if I have time during my— my—
Julia (as Cammie): 13 hours of sleep.
Eric (as Archie): —my skincare process, I'll—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Archie): —try to do it. I'll review them.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, you can do— you know, you can put stuff on with one hand and flip through inventory with the other, I guess.
Eric (as Archie): I guess I am good enough to do that.
Julia (as Cammie): You are. You're so talented.
Eric (as Archie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): That's why you almost won the Bullseye games.
Eric (as Archie): I did almost win the Bullseye games. Okay. Yeah, no, I can review it.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool.
Eric (as Archie): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): I'll talk to you later. Have a nice night/sleep.
Eric (as Archie): Goodbye.
Julia (as Cammie): It's Cammie.
Eric (as Archie): Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Cammie.
Eric (as Archie): Good— goodbye. See you tomorrow.
Julia (as Cammie): Good night.
Eric (as Archie): I'll see you—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Archie): Are you— are you going to be— are you at the conference?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes. I'm quest important this time.
Eric (as Archie): Oh. Okay. Cammie.
Julia (as Cammie): Archie.
Eric (as Archie): Okay. Good night.
Julia (as Cammie): Good night.
Eric: He hops down the hatch and just disappears.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Again, it's a sailboat.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: it's like a catamaran—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —so it's like where did— where?
Julia: He's like just fully laying like—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.
Julia: Like, there's no room to move.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: He's— he drops down and he's just like one foot down in some netting.
Amanda: Staring up at you.
Brandon (as Umbi): So the key is cellulose. You want to make sure you get a product with cellulose in it.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): You're gonna apply it to your face.
Amanda (as Troy): Sorry if this is awkward for— for you, Kid. And may I say, love when you have a mouth. Just you're a great hang. But Umbi, I was under the impression, I guess this is something that we sort of thought about and did not say, that we will kind of vote on whether or not to reveal our biggest secrets to anyone else. And like if we had to choose someone, Kid, I am glad it's you, but that was just kind of surprising to me.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, you— you know what, Troy? You're totally right. I'm sorry. Here, here, here— okay. Hey, Kid, did you shoot me with a bomb from far away?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I'm— I'm sure.
Brandon (as Umbi): I— like if you didn't, then— then we're on good terms, I think. And if you did—
Amanda (as Troy): Don't give the answer before you asked the question, maybe but—
Eric (as Kid): No, I didn't, because we're on good— we're friends and on good terms.
Brandon: It's a 10. Can you roll an insight—
Eric: I rolled a 2, I rolled a 2.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, okay. Great. Never mind.
Eric: No, I rolled a 2.
Amanda: Oh, nice, 16.
Eric: I don't think— no, Kid Cervantes didn't shoot you.
Brandon: Are you saying that—
Julia: As the DM?
Brandon: —genuinely?
Eric: I rolled a 2. Kid Cervantes didn't shoot you.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Well, now, I got a new theory.
Amanda (as Troy): That— that is great. Kid, may I ask, what— what do you want to do if you find all the keys?
Eric (as Kid): It's something I hadn't considered before, that's what I was communicating to Umbi. I— I'm not sure. I can't write something down on a treatise and agree to it if I don't know what it is myself.
Brandon (as Umbi): Fair.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Treatises mostly just kind of like paper that you're can get spilled on later, is sort of my—
Brandon (as Umbi): That's true.
Amanda (as Troy): —whole thing and like observation.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's— that's true.
Amanda (as Troy): So I don't— I don't think there was much.
Eric: Yeah. Here's a— I have a DM question, where is the actual mold?
Julia: I think that's hidden away. We're not showing people that.
Brandon: I assume it's in the cabin— the ghost cabin.
Julia: Haunted cabin.
Eric: Oh, it's in the haunted cabin, for sure.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Troy's gonna like kind of constantly like pop his head back out the— the hatch to see if Cammie's approaching it, to, like, wave her over frantically whenever he sees her.
Julia: Cammie's just wandering down towards the boat with her Mai Tai.
Amanda (as Troy): Come here, Cammie, come here.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm glad that we can trust you, Kid. Troy, you're totally right, I'm sorry. I'll— I'll talk to Cammie about it too. I won't do it again, I apologize.
Eric (as Kid): If— I— I have a question. Do you just have the blueprints, or do you have what the blueprints are from? Because you— you said you— you— you took it off of the ship while you were doing a job. The— was it just the blueprints that were there?
Brandon (as Umbi): I have to confer with my colleagues.
Julia: I think that answers the question for him.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. No, if we're— if we're in, it feels like we should maybe be in.
Amanda: And Troy looks over shoulder again.
Amanda (as Troy): Is Cammie near?
Julia: Cammie's sees Troy waving and be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, hey, Cammie. So, Umbi decided to bring Kid Cervantes into the fold, and tell him about the blueprints that we do have. And he just asked, do we have the blueprints or the whole mold? And based on Umbi's response, it is pretty obvious to anyone, mouth or not, that yes, we have the actual molds.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, what the fuck?
Amanda (as Troy): And it is very obvious, Kid, that was clear to you, was it not?
Eric (as Kid): It was clear to me. I was trying to be polite.
Amanda (as Troy): If it's clear to me, typically, it's clear to everybody in the room. And yeah, so no one else knows that. We do have it, trying to keep it safe. And we don't know that they know that. No one knows that we haven't.
Eric (as Kid): If this is a comp— if we are actually being true at this discussion of buccaneer mind.
Amanda (as Troy): Got nothing else to hide, man.
Eric (as Kid): We might—this might be something incredibly relevant to bring up if— if these are happening in individual nations, and we are no— it is not just pirates pursuing a errant dream. We have a responsibility to discuss this. Of course, if people are not as they say they are, then we will not. But as— as I've said, the— the— this is gigantor.
Julia (as Cammie): Weirdly. Hi, Kid, nice to see you again. You remember my name, right?
Eric (as Kid): Chamomile Casis, as I live and, breathe, and speak.
Julia (as Cammie): Yes. Okay. Excellent. Love that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Breathe and speak for this one hour.
Julia (as Cammie): So kind of surprisingly, I do agree with Kid here where the pirates are against—
Julia: Oh, you haven't told us about the diamond knot, so that's not—
Amanda: Yeah, let's say you know.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): I— I did learn from Lucky Edie just now— oh, I— I asked Lustrous what diamond that was. I— I do not know— I don't know if you know, Kid, I did not know. But Lucky Edie interrupted him, even though he's hosting? And said that it's the leaders of all four nations what— come together regularly and decide what should happen like in the world, which, again, former prince, not the crown prince, but a prince didn't know about that.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't love that. Also, a former senator didn't know that, don't love any of this.
Amanda (as Troy): It sounds like there's someone who represents each country, and they're going to meet soon in the past, soon in the future, or soon right now. Edie would not say, but I do think she knows.
Julia (as Cammie): Huh. So with that in mind, I think that we can safely say that the creation of keys might be a venture by the diamond knot, now that we kind of know what they are. So I think it would be— if they're working together like the countries to try to beat the pirates to the salmon, shouldn't we as pirates also join together and try to beat them to that?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: Best-case scenario.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm into it.
Amanda (as Troy): I don't know if we should say we have the actual mold and we can—we can say that it's happening.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I think we should tell them that the mold is something that they were working on.
Brandon (as Umbi): Exists, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): That they're trying to make fake keys to come to the same end as the rest of us.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): I think it's important, and I think the fact that we know it will mean that we are important.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): And you always want to be the important one, because then probably you're further inside of the Hold and then you won't get murdered, you know?
Brandon (as Umbi): This is what I'm saying.
Julia (as Cammie): I was gonna say, isn't that kind of what leads to people getting murdered in your country, Troy? Being important?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, but the more important you are, the—the deeper into the castle you go and maybe your guards will turn against you. Oopsie, can't do anything about that, but it is better than being on the outside.
Brandon (as Umbi): This is what I'm saying, we got 2.5 out of 4, we got 51% of the key.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): We're in a good spot.
Amanda (as Troy): Kid, you— you got a key? Do you have one with you?
Eric (as Kid): I do. Troy, I— I won at the Bullseye games.
Amanda (as Troy): No, I— I remember— I remember you taking it, winning it.
Eric (as Kid): And you— and you—and you lost and you're— had many torn holes inside of you.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. I wasn't a father yet, so it's really like a previous part of my life. This is my son, the pumpy, but— yeah, no, I just want to make sure you— you still got it. Yeah. Listen, I— I think we go in there tomorrow and say we know what to do, and—
Eric(as Kid): Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): —figure out what happens.
Eric (as Kid): Interesting.
Brandon(as Umbi): Speaks softly, carry a big cannon, is what I always say.
Amanda (as Troy): Mold.
Brandon (as Umbi): Mold. Ca— canon mold.
Eric (as Kid): Interesting. I'm sorry to cut our conversation short, but my mouth is gone.
Julia (as Cammie): That makes sense. That makes sense.
Eric: And then you—
Amanda: Is the mouth getting smaller and smaller as—
Eric: No, no, it just disappears. And you look— you look over at this guy and Kid Cervantes is just, like, looking at you.
Julia (as Cammie): I think we all really need to learn KSL.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Julia: Kids sign language.
Eric: No, it's good. It's good, Julia. It's good.
Amanda: Yeah, it's good.
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, could you give these to Kid some of those for later, maybe if you know if he just wants it. Just— just a suggestion.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I can—
Julia (as Cammie): Like a tomorrow thing so that he can speak with us.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I can bruise them up tonight while we're long resting.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool. Same.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda (as Troy): Kid, you're welcome here whether you got a mouth or not, bud.
Eric: Kid delightfully shrugs at you.
Eric (as Kid): Alright, folks. We got a long day tomorrow.
Julia (as Cammie): Long day. Let's sleep.
Eric (as Kid): Time to sleep.
Brandon: For 13 hours.
Eric: For— I— you had to have gone to bed 5 hours ago to get 13 hours. Incredible. Oh, yeah. Where— so you're sleeping on the Sea Whip tonight, how are you— how are you doing it?
Brandon: I think we should post a guard.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: What do y'all think?
Amanda: Take turns.
Julia: Yeah, I think it's gonna be a— a Bartlett and Nonny's situation outside the cabin door.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: A Bartlett, Nonny special.
Julia: Does the cabin have like a window, since it is like the— the captain's cabin?
Eric: Yeah, for su— yeah, I bet it has like a porthole on it.
Julia: Alright. So Nonny at door, Bartlett at window?
Amanda: Yeah, I think that's a good plan.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: And then we'll have either Harold or Sil awake at any given time, and one of us on the crew, I think, should be awake and hanging out on deck.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Alright. What— what's— yeah. What are your— what's the order?
Julia: Let's just roll. Let's roll.
Amanda: Yeah, let's roll.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Bartlett is covered in bandages and—
Amanda: Aw.
Brandon: —skin cream.
Amanda: I got 10
Julia: I rolled a 5.
Brandon: 19.
Julia: So Cammie, Troy, Umbi?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Yeah, we'll let Aubergine sleep and Havana's gotta focus.
Brandon: Yeah. I don't think I would trust Aubergine with guard duty on our boat.
Amanda: No. No, one of us three.
Julia: That's fair. He— do we know if he went over to talk to the rest of the nightshades?
Eric: You haven't seen him.
Amanda: We haven't seen him.
Julia: Aw. I hope he's not dead.
Brandon: Me, too.
Julia: Or has not betrayed us.
Eric: Okay. Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah?
Eric: It's the middle of the night.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric: There's still some raucous party happening over at the sepa—is happening at the megafauna separatist movement, but everyone else is asleep.
Amanda (as Troy): Man, I wish I knew how fun they were when I was growing up instead of thinking they were out to kill me.
Eric: The sound of the sea lapping up against the Whip. The moon hanging silently because it's the moon.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. If it talks, I will be freaked out.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): You'll ever think about that?
Amanda: Troy says to the wind.
Eric: Give me a perception check, bud.
Amanda: That is a 9.
Eric: [dice roll] Oh, boy,
Julia: Would you like the familiars to also roll perception checks or—
Eric: Sure. Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Oh. Bartlett got a 17 plus 3 for 20.
Amanda: Bartlett is constant vigilance.
Brandon: Bartlett is just like pumped up full of fucking bee venom.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Nonny rolled a Nat 20. That's cool.
Eric: Oh, 20 is—
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Troy, you're listening to the silence.
Amanda (as Troy): What would the moon sound like?
Eric: As you look up at the moon, you hear the crackle of lightning, and then, prrrt, prrrt prrrt.
[theme]