I love it when the day that I expect to happen next actually happens! Don’t you love that? Aggie, Milo, and Val get some juice.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on, “Join the Party”
[Intro music]
Eric: Just real quick, sailing on the infinite whirlpool of time, pirate ship, Time Shark-- well, (singing) Time Shark! Swallowed, sonic boom. Aggie is still Aggie, but Aggie is also Multitool. That's all you really need to know. Got it? Good. Let's get the party started.
[Intro music]
Eric: Hey, Amanda, let's talk about what's-- what's going on with Aggie’s little situation. So, after dragging through the brackish time-water-lake-ocean—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —you have been very much changed. Let's talk about it.
Brandon: Yeah. Hey, Amanda?
Amanda: Yeah?
Brandon: What the fuck—
Julia: [overlapping] Hey, what the fuck?
[All laugh]
Amanda: I love this. It is so delicious and tasty. It's been two weeks since the last episode for us as well. And, um, I'm so sorry. I couldn't talk to you guys about it. But, when Eric said it has to be a gigantic life altering change, the thing that came to mind for me was Aggie having a different power. And so, I decided that stretchy limbs is a cool power. And that instead of healing, that would be what Aggie got as a result of the diaphorum. And so, thinking about what impact that would have on her life, you know, she has a different job. So, Aggie is a forest ranger.
Julia: [gasps] Yes!
Amanda: She does like, fire watches and kind of long solo trips, monitoring the lochs and the forest system in Adirondack State Park. And, because that is more of a solitary kind of pursuit, she has her dog, Pizza, that she keeps with her, instead of a cat.
Brandon: [sad] Aww.
Amanda: And so, my superhero-sona is different. So, my name now is Multitool.
Brandon: I love it.
Julia: Incredible. I do need to know what kind of dog Pizza is, though.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: It is important.
Amanda: Pizza is like a pitbull mix.
Julia: Great. Love it.
Brandon: Ahh, good choice.
Eric: Really stout, very stout, but like, you know, those legs are working.
Amanda: Yeah. yeah.
Eric: They're going very fast to keep up with Aggie. So, mechanically—
Brandon: Wait, Eric, this is very important—did Sushi turn into Pizza? Is Sushi dead?
Julia: Sushi never existed, man.
Eric: Yeah, Sushi never existed. That—because Aggie—
Brandon: Aw, man.
Eric: —got different powers, this changes her entire life, is basically how it comes down. So here's what this is mechanically: you're still a monk, but you have a different subclass. And we're actually using The Way of the Stretch, which is from “No Capes,” I came up with a while ago, before I even thought this happened. I was like, it would be so cool if there was, like, a Mr. Fantastic/Elastic Man, monk-style thing. So now you can change-- you can stretch your arms, and you can stretch all of your limbs, but also you can change into different shapes.
Amanda: Yes, my options are extending my limbs, like Eric said. I can become a rubber ball.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh, that's gonna be fun for me.
Amanda: Yep. And I can stretch myself out really, really thin and wide to make a trampoline.
Julia: Hell yes.
Brandon: Also, a kite, if you just turn. [laughs]
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: That is quite true. Yeah. And later on, I do get kind of higher-level stretchy powers. But, that is my main thing. And I think, what that means for Aggie's life is, like, because her power is so conspicuous, she needed that more solitary career. And, that means that her cottage is a little bit more Spartan because she spends more time on the road and in Firewatch and lock houses. And whenever Quinn's in town, Quinn crashes at the cabin too-- still a cottage in Laketown, but Aggie calls it a cabin now.
Brandon: So, does that mean that you're still well known in Laketown? Or, are you sort of more just an average citizen?
Amanda: Yeah, Aggie is totally still well known, but I would say a little bit less, you know, not a caretaker. So, she’ll wave to her neighbors, you know, sees people at like, community functions. And, she does also do a lot of plumbing and like minor toilet unclogging, because--
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: —the super for Laketown, Brian Roper sucks, and he's super incompetent. So, she often has to do things that he's not getting to on her days off,
Eric: Right. Brian Roper is now no longer canonically a cop, he is now the custodian of historic Laketown.
Brandon: [understanding] Hmm.
Eric: So, Aggie’s old job.
Julia: Is Aggie still kind of the representative in the city council for Laketown?
Amanda: No, she's not.
Eric: No, that's Brian Roper now.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Hmm, I don't like incompetence in government.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: No, me neither.
Brandon: Does that mean that Milo is now more well known than Aggie in Laketown City?
Amanda: Probably, yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Wow.
Brandon: [simultaneously] Yes!
Eric: You're the most casually well known.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Here's the only thing that I want to say about this, which is a little hard to wrap your head around in time loops. Everything that we've done in the podcast so far, still happened. Like nothing that we've done has been discounted, like the timescape has, [Eric laughs] like now branched out into two ways when Aggie was born, and like it's now, there was the Aggie that is stretchy, and there's the Aggie that had these healing and calming powers. And now, those are two like divergent ones, and now we're on this different path in this story.
Brandon: The stretchy-verse, if you will.
Julia: [Reaffirming] The stretchy verse.
Eric: The stretchy verse, yeah.
Julia: The details are different, the outcome is still the same.
Eric: Exactly, exactly. So like, if you're listening to this, and you're like, “Oh, I listened to makes sense anymore!” Not true. That is not true. [Eric laughs]
Brandon: So does that mean that Milo and Val—like, do we know that things have changed? Or is it just, like, things have always been this way from now on?
Julia: Oh, that's a good question.
Eric: This is always what it has been. You met Aggie at the warehouse, and Aggie had stretchy powers.
Julia: Gotcha.
Brandon: Cool, okay.
Eric: And like, maybe even all the way back to that first thing, when Emily Slaughter was making you go through that “American Ninja Warrior” thing—I remember when Aggie busted the speaker that was playing Enya—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And like, did you just, like, you know, gum-gum-pistol, like, use your stretchy powers to hit it, and now you just like punch it out?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I think so. And I think the only other difference really is Aggie’s slightly less of a kind of caretaker to her siblings, because she, you know, has her own life and isn't always reachable And, um, Multitool took up Teagan’s kind of standing offer to go on a couple dates because Multitool has many fewer people to protect than Preserver did—
Eric: Mhmm.
Amanda: —and, people who could kind of, you know, get hurt if her identity was ever compromised.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I'm really happy for Multitool.
Brandon: I'm happy for Teagan, are you kidding me?
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, no, there's—there's still a bit of tension in that Aggie still runs into Teagan from time to time, just in the course of, like, being a person who can like, run people from the airport and like, take them on tours into the State Park.
Eric: Yeah. I want to--we want to be clear: Teagan is dating Multitool—
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —not Aggie. I wanna be very clear about that.
Julia: The opposite of what's happening with Val.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, no, exactly.
Brandon: My final question: if you become a trampoline, and Val or I use you to bounce off of, and go on to say a roof or something—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Does it hurt? The trampoline? [Brandon laughs]
Amanda: No, it does not hurt to trampoline.
Brandon: That's great. All right!
Julia: Good.
Eric: However there are mechanics depending on how well Aggie as the trampoline can direct you with the way that you want to go.
Brandon: Yeah, if we get double bounced, or you know—
Eric: Exactly. [Eric laughs] Or, if you're instead of a trampoline you're trying to make like, you know, like the firemen catch people who are jumping off a building sort of thing.
Brandon: Yeah. [Brandon laughs]
Eric: And whether or not it is one of those or a trampoline, is the thing that is up for debate.
Amanda: Yeah. But, no, I think we definitely have worked out some sweet combos about, you know, me kind of slingshotting you guys places all about this.
Julia: All about this.
Brandon: [Overlapping] Yeah. Love it.
Eric: Yeah. All right. The only thing that is different about Multitool is that you're called “the Multitool,” because now, your weapon that you're using is like—
Amanda: It's like an oversized Leatherman, or a pocket knife.
Brandon: I love that.
Amanda: Multitool carries a walking stick, much like Preserver did. And, the bottom is a sword. And top, she can just kind of push a button, and then two little arms of a slingshot pop out of the top. So, Aggie can like, stretch her finger back to use as a slingshot--
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: --to shoot like rocks and projectiles at people.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Truly incredible.
Brandon: She's outside Teagan's window shooting pebbles with her finger.
Julia: [mimicking slingshot] Pew, pew!
Eric: Adorable. [Eric laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, no, our first date was at a fire watch station, in case anyone's curious.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: That is incredibly cute.
Amanda: With electric candles.
Eric: And then Teagan’s like, “So, who do you know--who do you know in the Ranger service?”
Amanda (as Aggie): Uhhh—I didn’t think that through, uhhh—
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: So, does Teagan go out to dates with the Multitool in costume?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon: That's so weird—
Julia: [Overlapping] How do you eat? [Julia laughs]
Amanda: Um… that’s a great question, Julia. I think we have not had any eating-related dates yet.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: [while laughing] This is a problem that Aggie’s going to have to very eminently solve.
[Eric laughs]
Julia: I’m glad.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Oh, and yeah, my sister Erin has always been named Erin. And why, why would you point that out?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Oh, no. Poor...Cassie?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, man. Tuna's ego is gonna get so much bigger now that they're the only cat.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: Yeah, Tuna has been even bolder, if you could even think about that.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Incredible.
Eric: Let's start with our good friend Milo. Milo, what time do you wake up on a Saturday, if no one wakes you up?
Brandon: I mean, if no one wakes me up? One o'clock—PM.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Incredible. Can you make a con roll, like we did before, of how deeply you sleep?
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: That is 9 + my constitution is 2. So, 11.
Eric: Okay. At like, 11:15am, you’re snoozing, you’re snoozing so hard. It's like, you are making an apple pie, but first you invented the universe.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And you then wake up—you're then, like, shaken out of your dream, because you hear people walking out of your bedroom. Like, you hear, like, slow like footfalls, and people trying to move really slowly, like from your bedroom out of the door.
Julia: I don't like that. Go away.
Amanda: The hell? Eric, I liked when I did the reveal, not when I got them.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: Milo shoots up and casts Thornwhip instinctively, like shoots that. But, the door-- just either like, slam it or like, stop them from leaving.
Eric: Incredible. Make an attack roll for me.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: +9, so that is a 25
Eric: Okay, you want to hit the door?
Brandon: Yeah, like I don't want to attack them necessarily, I just want to stop them from leaving. I want to figure out who this is, why they're in my room, and if I need to kill them.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, so you wake up, you shoot up—
Brandon: Not kill them, actually-- Julia, c’mon. [Brandon laughs]
Eric: No, I got it, I got it—I love that your ghost arm—I think your ghost arm might actually do like the stretchy thing for Thornwhip.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Like you're using a stick—a ghost sticky hand. [Eric laughs]
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: And, you hear the door open, and it's like “Wa-Pow!” and slams the door, and you look up and you see that Lucas, Zach Rose, and Apple are sneaking out of your room. And, they're like,
“Ahh!!”
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And, you look around, and you see that all the things you own that aren't nailed down from your apartment are all in your room right now.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Like your table—your table, like as much of the couch as possible. You see that like, they got your whole couch standing up—standing upright—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: —in there. The chairs, as many of your pots and pans as possible. Like everything that's not your refrigerator, and—your TV is in there. Like everything is jammed in your room, plus the other stuff that was in your room, and they turn around and they go “Ahh!!” And, I think Apple and Zack Rose go, “WAHOOO!! WHAT!”
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And Lucas is trying—let me roll on this.
[Dice roll]
Amanda: Oh my, what a reveal.
Eric: Lucas roll the Nat-1.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh, Lucas…
Eric: So Lucas said, “I’M SORRY WE KEPT THIS A SECRET!!! HE HAD GHOST POWERS!”
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Oh, Lucas, no!
Amanda: Oh. My. God.
Brandon: Lucas, you sweet, sweet child…
Eric: In a row, it's just all of them screaming at Lucas. Like, (as Lucas) I'm sorry!!! I should have kept this a secret! Milo, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told the secret!!! [Eric laughs]
Brandon: [Brandon laughs] Uh, Milo just starts bursting out laughing uncontrollably, and then says (as Milo) Alright guys, I guess we need to talk. But first get this out of my room.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: I think there's a montage of them taking the stuff out of your room, as they explained to you that they texted you to see what you were doing, they were gonna go to the protest on May 1 to protest the poor wages at Thornhill Saltwater Taffy and other candy confectioneries—
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Awful…
Eric: And, they want to know where you were, so they ended up--because, you were so close to the protest, they stopped off at your house, but you weren't there and the door was unlocked so instead.
Julia: [While laughing] You forgot your key again…
Amanda: Oh my god…
Eric: They went to this protest, came back, and then pranked you. And then, they all kind of fell asleep, and then they woke up and saw you were in your bed, and they're like, “Oh, I guess the prank didn't work, Milo’s asleep in his bed.” And then, they woke up and were trying to walk away as a prank kind of fell apart. And Apple was like, (as Apple) That would have been a really good prank, but we didn't know you could Danny Phantom through walls!
Brandon (as Milo): It's gonna be a, it's got to be a ghostly day in hell before you pull a prank on—guys, sit down we got to talk.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: We star-swipe away as you explain everything, and Lucas does his best to apologize to both you and his friends, once again. Alright, let's check in on our good friend Val. Val, what time do you usually wake up when you don't have anything to do on a Saturday?
Julia: You know what, I feel like it's probably about 10, but I also feel like Val--you know, when you wake up really early a bunch, that's not in your normal schedule, and then your body is like “oh, we're waking up this early now, all the time.”
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Val just like jolts awake at nine o'clock being like, “Why is my phone not ringing? What's happening?”
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah. And, I think you look around and, you know, it's your same apartment in the same way, and Hitomi is laying there, still incredibly asleep. But, you check your phone, and it is 9 am, May 2nd.
Julia: Ah, tight. We did it. We killed that shark.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And you get a notification, wish—wish Eric Silver, “Happy birthday.”
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Val writes on his wall…
[Eric laughs]
Eric: [While laughing] Wait, you’re writing on Eric Silver’s wall on Facebook, Hitomi stirs, and like rolls over and she rubs her eyes and says, (as Hitomi) Mmmm, how was your Italian food emergency?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): It was... great. As far as Italian food emergencies go, pretty good.
Eric (as Hitomi): Alright, um…
Julia (as Val): Want to go look at places on Streeteasy today?
Eric (as Hitomi): Why? Why would we go do that?
[one beat of silence]
Julia (as Val): Because I want you to move in with me?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): What—how did you—? I was gonna say that! What!
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Julia the player feels a little guilty about this, by the way…
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah, and she's like, (as Hitomi) how do you? How do you know I also want to move in with you? Sounds great—I very much want that.
Julia (as Val): That would be great. I just got that vibe, and I was like, you know, Hitomi stays over here a lot, and maybe we can find a bigger place together that we can make our own.
Eric (as Hitomi): Oh my god. You know, when we were both Sagittariuses, as my friend was worried that like we would—we would be conflicting.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: But like, actually, you were—reading each other's minds, this is incredible.
Julia (as Val): I'm canonically a Leo, but that's okay.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: She still—that’s still canon, she does say that.
Julia: Great.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: I love it.
Eric: She still says that… Yeah. I think Hitomi visibly has a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She was like, (as Hitomi) I was so worried, that I didn't, you know, I didn't see you yesterday, and I've been thinking about this for a while, and I built up all my courage that I was going to do it, but then you had an Italian emergency, and you didn't get home until I fell asleep. And, but—it's incredible. I want to do—[sighs] I wish every single day was like this.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): …Yes.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): All right. I'm making matcha-ricotta pancakes, and you can't stop me.
Julia (as Val): Oh my god, you're the best.
Eric: [laughs] And, she uses her big bird bones and walks into the kitchen.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: And makes you matcha-ricotta pancakes.
Brandon: Is that a real thing?
Julia: I hope so.
Eric: It should be.
Brandon: I’m kinda into it, I want to try it.
Eric: TikTok, get on it.
Julia: Get on, TikTok.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Alright, hey, Val, is there anything you want to do? Or are you good?
Julia (as Val): I think I need to go have that conversation that I had with my mom in like the second-to-last loop about like, “Yeah, I have superpowers, also, what are you doing?” So—
Eric: Sure. Cool.
Julia: I feel like we'll probably just, like, replay that normally. But—
Eric: Is that how you want to do it? Like, the same way that—that it was?
Julia: Yeah. I don't think it ended badly, so. [Julia laughs]
Eric: Yeah, no, I think that no, it's totally fine. I think that you two were very cagey around each other for a while on that. And then, she tells you that she used the gun and brandished the gun to keep Aunt Min’s goons away. And then, you told her about the powers, and she's ultimately proud of you. I mean, she said this before, like you know, (as Val’s mom) you got a good head on your shoulders. And, you are the defender that Little Italy needs and I loved how you kicked that, ah—Mother Mary, forgive me, but ah, Bullshit.
[Julia laughs]
Julia (as Val): Thank you. Also, Hitomi and I are gonna move in together.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Oh my god!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And then she like pulls a cloth that’s been covering, like a bunch of figurines, and it's just like a bunch of new boob mugs. And she's like, (as Val’s mom) I made these for you!
[Brandon still laughing]
Julia (as Val): Well, now we'll have a whole cabinet full. I'll make sure we get a place with a lot of kitchen space.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Oh, you better- Listen, if you weren't doing this, were you actually my child? Were you going to like, what, you're gonna get a place that doesn't have good kitchen space? What am I doing?
Julia (as Val): I—obviously, Ma.
Eric (as Val’s mom): What have I been doing this entire time? I want you to know, also—I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): That’s fair. Absolutely fair. I don't think I could hurt a hair on your head, Ma.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Firearm or not, I could do it.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: Was “firearm” a pun?
Eric: Yeah, cuz it was an ice arm. Yes. 100%. Thank you, Brandon.
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon: But it's a dual meaning, because Val has fire arms. And there’s a gun—
Eric: Oh shit—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —I didn’t even think about it—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —that’s very good.
Julia: Love it.
Eric: Alright, let's pop over to Aggie’s new life—or the life that you've always had this entire time. So, you're waking up at 10. And, you get the text, and you're reading the article. At some point Carmen sends the article around. She's like, (as Carmen) Newsbreak! LT3! This is actually really great. I know you have that partner--that relationship with Teagan Murphy—
Eric: She sounds very, like, very upbeat on text. [Eric laughs] although she might be—
Amanda: Carmen uses lots of exclamation points.
Julia: She just puts exclamation points if she isn't feeling them.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah, lots of exclamation points.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: She’s like (as Carmen) Great. This came out great. Thank you for your relationship with Teagan Murphy, exclamation point.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Carmen): This is wonderful. This only makes you look awesome. Especially against the establishment, exclamation point.
Eric: So, she sends that around all three of you, and to Dr. Morrow.
Julia: Val types back. (as Val) Yeah, thanks for your relationship with Teagan Murphy.
Eric (as Carmen): I meant that in a professional way, but also, eyes emoji.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: I think Aggie sends back a string of emojis like the See No Evil, the dancer, a little speedboat and, like, a Kiwi.
[Eric laughs]
Julia (as Val): I got everything but the Kiwi.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, nice. Just—just—just a fun little pop of color at the end.
Julia (as Val): Gotcha.
Brandon: Milo just writes back, (as Milo) Who’s dating who now? What?
[Julia laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): We went over this, I need to figure out how to eat around them.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): It’s date four, and I feel like by date four you need to eat in each other's presence.
Julia (as Val): What about a big funnel?
Amanda (as Aggie): I just—I feel like having a like, ski jump into my mouth is not the most sustainable thing for this relationship, potentially.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Carmen): What about a big straw, exclamation point.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): That’s a pretty good point Carmen. Maybe—maybe boba is date four.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): There you go.
Amanda (as Aggie): But, I think we should all also, like, update Dez and—and Dr. Morrow somehow.
Julia (as Val): Yes. Just text Dr. Morrow: Out of the time loop!
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Is that--is that what you want to do?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, why not?
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay. Yeah.
Eric: Um, okay, I think Dez says, (as Dez) [confused] What? (back to normal voice) and January says, (as January) [stressed] WHAT? (back to normal voice) And Dr. Morrow responds with a voice message that says, (as Dr. Morrow) I KNEW IT! (back to normal voice) And there's also a GIF of Dr. Morrow doing that from a previous press conference, that she sends.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Back in a group text with just the three of us, I'm like, “Yeah…”
Brandon (as Milo): Did Dez’s dad own the shark? Or does the Shark just live in Dez’s dad’s TV?
Julia (as Val): No, I think the Time Shark just existed in the Time Sea, and had nothing to do with Dez’s dad.
Brandon (as Milo): Gotcha, okay.
Julia (as Val): I killed that shark.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): I’m very proud of that.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm—I'm sorry you had to spend so much time inside the shark Val, but I'm glad—I mean, no one had like—life altering implications, right? Like, I'm glad we got out of there.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, no, it was pretty chill. I got a cool amulet and also some sneakers.
Brandon (as Milo): Hey, ah, this--this hero relationship is, really killed the shark, hasn’t it? Milo has left the chat.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): As he should, he would have been booted otherwise.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Stupid, what does “killed the shark” even mean?? Milo fucked up jumping the shark—
Brandon: [While laughing] Yeah, it’s one step further than jumping the shark.
Eric: Yeha, love that—I love that that really late episode of “Happy Days” where Fonzie comes back with a harpoon, [Brandon laughs] and shoots the shark.
Julia: Murders that shark…
Amanda: It was a really dark turn.
Eric: Yeah—
Brandon: He goes back as Rambo to—for revenge.
Eric: He’s like (mimicking Fonzie) Ayeee, get out of my ocean, pshhhh—
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Incredible. Aggie, as you're wrapping all this up, you get a phone call on your regular person phone from an unlisted number.
Amanda: I answer.
Eric: You just hear the shrieking of monkeys—
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: [concerned] Hmm!
Eric: --like, as soon as you pick up it's just like it's just like (makes monkey noises). And then your mom is just like, (as Aggie’s mom) Hello? Margaret? (More monkey noises)
Brandon: Dr. Zoidberg is in the background, apparently.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Do you not besmirch my borscht belt crustacean friend—that is firmly, “Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo,” this is “ke ke ke ke ke!!! Ahh!!”
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Mom, can you go somewhere where the monkeys are not?
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Honestly, Margaret, they're everywhere. I'll try my best. (Back to normal voice) And then, you see—you hear like, “Clomp clomp clomp clomp clomp.” And then like some brush swishing. And then, a door open and close, and the monkeys are like, only a little bit less loud.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Mom, I don't call you when I am, like, next to a waterfall, or actively clearing a brush fire. You know what I mean?
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Well you should, I can be more involved in your life!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): I don’t know anything! I’d love that! Hold up, I want to hear the crackling of nature renewing. That's what you told me.
[Julia laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes, that not all forest fires are bad. It's actually really important—Okay, whatever. How are you? How's Dad? What's going on? Where are you?
Eric: Ah, you hear the door opens and the monkeys get really loud again, for a second—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: —and then the door closes, and hear like, (as Aggie’s Dad) Oh, is that Margaret? Hi, Margaret, It's Dad!
Amanda (as Aggie): Hi, dad. How are you? Where are you guys?
Eric (as Aggie’s Dad): Monkey jungle!
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay… uhh, what? What’s going on?
Eric: [laughing] Your mom is like holding up the phone to your dad and like, takes it back. And she’s like, (as Aggie’s mom) Oh, well, you know, this is the first time we've had service in a while because we were on top of that mountain, but you didn't pick up. I guess you were doing something important with, you know, the renewal of nature. Fire or not. It's fine. I understand. You don't have service out in the forest. But, I wanted to talk to you about something. If you had a chance?
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh, now’s as good a time as any, what's up?
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Okay, are you ready?
Amanda (as Aggie): Am I—what?
Eric: And then, you hear, THUMP [makes monkey noises] (as Aggie’s Mom) Damnit, tell the monkeys to go away! Tell them to go away! Margaret, are you still there?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes. Have you—did you call everyone else? What's going on?
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Oh, okay. Are you ready? It's good news.
Amanda (as Aggie): [groans] That makes me more nervous. What?
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): We've been talking to Brian Roper, you know, custodian, real—real big, uh, big guy, over, you know, in the historic Laketown, and he was saying that they've gotten a dispensation to build two more homes around the lake. And, we were thinking, maybe we move into those, and we can move and live back in Laketown City. How about that—I just wanted to get your opinion, before we were—we were thinking of doing this wonderful, incredible thing to have our family closer. But, well, what do you think about that?
Amanda (as Aggie): What did—what did everyone else say? What did Danny and Erin say?
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Oh, you know, Danny, well, we were trying to get in touch with him, I guess he's just in like a painting fog. And, Erin said great over text, but you know, I never know what Erin over text.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh... no, listen, I—a) I would double check that, I genuinely don't know how Brian Roper passed the civil service exam—
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): —and I would just like to say that every toilet he fixes, I have to go back and fix.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): That's not my job Mom. I have—I have a limited number of days off each season. That's what I'm spending them doing. So, anyway, just double check it, but no, that—that sounds nice. I mean, I'm, you know that I'm gone for long stretches at a time, and like Quinn is already using my house to crash at, you know, when she's in between shoots and stuff. So, you know, it'd be—it'd be nice. But, that sounds like a big change for you guys.
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Yeah, we really want to, you know, go back to where our roots are, and we're gonna be closer to you—but you'd be able to spend more time with us like if you know, you tell the park that your parents are here and you—you can't be out at the Firewatch all the time. Like, you'll be able to talk to them about it right?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, we just got paid family leave statewide, and I don't—I don't think they extend it to hanging out with your parents because it's like you got to already prove like—like real caregiving for, you know, people who need it, and like even that is hard to do.
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Well, I, you know, I've been reading about work-life balance, that work-life balance hasn't come to the Adirondack State Park yet? I think it would be really important, if we moved like, well, we wouldn't be doing it just to, you know, see Dr. Morrow, every once in a while and reminisce about the old days like this—
Amanda (as Aggie): I, um, I definitely look forward to seeing you. It's been—it's been like two years since—since you guys were back. And it's—listen, I'm not gonna… You know, when I, when I get family time, I really want to make it count, because it is so rare, but like, you guys, have not been part of my life since I was basically 22. And, if you're going to come here full time, like that will be an adjustment. I have my own life. I have my own routines. You know, I have a life here that you guys have not chosen to be a part of. And, I think it's, you know, it's time to make a new relationship with—with all of us as adults. You know what I mean?
Eric: There's silence on her end, and by silence, I mean, your mom's not saying anything, but you hear the screaming of monkeys—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, I hear the screaming of monkeys—
Eric: Yeah, the monkeys are definitely not silent. Um, and she says— (as Aggie’s Mom) Well, Margaret, I appreciate you being [beat of silence] honest with me, but it's actually quite hurtful even from across the globe. So, we'll talk about it when we get back.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh, Mom, living alone in the forest for three months at a time feels less lonely than being part of this family sometimes—
Brandon: Ooooo—
Amanda (as Aggie): —so, we have a lot to talk about. And I look forward to doing so.
Julia: Woof.
Brandon: Burn the forest down!
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Well, I don't know when the monkeys will let us fly out. But you know, we'll be back at some point. We'll tell—we'll tell everyone.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, call someone else besides Brian, okay? Just—just double check.
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, I love you, mom. Listen, just because you have things to talk about doesn't mean I'm not your kid.
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): I love you too, Margaret.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, make sure you talk to everyone else too.
Eric (as Aggie’s Mom): Okay [monkey screeches]. Close the door! (Back to normal voice) And, she hangs up the phone.
Julia: Wow. She hung up first. Big change.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It was more that a monk—imagine a monkey jumped in [Eric laughs] and threw the phone up.
Amanda: [Overlapping] The monkey’s gonna just take the phone, and just take it on an adventure.
Julia: That'd be cool.
Brandon: Now, Eric, I know you meant, if, like, the monkeys would be calm enough to allow a plane to fly out. But in my head, I did imagine that the monkeys were operating the FFAA tower at the airport.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: All fair. All totally fair.
[transition music]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. For Father's Day, I went to my dad's house, which I have some fraught feelings at that particular house. But, while I was there, I looked around in my closet, which I haven't really touched for like 10 years or so, and I found so much stuff from high school. I found my old Gameboy Advanced SP—which still has a charge, which I want to point out is awesome. I found Pokémon cards, I found basketball cards, and it was just from doing the work to look around for something I knew was there. I found it and it made me feel great. So, hopefully this week, you put the work in, you make yourself feel good even if you're putting yourself in a tough situation that you are stressed out about. You can put the work in and find something good in the nugget. Welcome to the midroll. [Brief pause] There was a Charizard. I can't believe that. I'm gonna wear it around my neck while I play Dungeons and Dragons.
Firstly, welcome to everyone who joined our Patreon for the last two episodes: Mari, Ashleigh, Victoria, Paul, and Rhiannon. And thanks to Lada, shoutout Lada who resubbed as an annual patron! And also tweets at us all the time and makes my heart sing by saying nice things.
I want to say, it’s pretty unusual to be able to run an indie podcast as a full-time job, like Join the Party is my creative outlet as we do all the stuff with Multitude and all that. And we can only do that because of our patrons. All of you make room in your budgets each month to support indie creators like us, and we are incredibly grateful. If you want to be one of those people, support Join the Party, get access to all kinds of excellent bonus content, and join the best place on the internet—our Patron-only Discord—you can do that for as little as $5 a month at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
Also! You should check out the other shows that are a part of the Multitude collective. I think you'd like Meddling Adults. It is a whodunnit game show for charity. There aren’t enough game show podcasts out there, and I think Meddling Adults is incredible. It comes from Mike Schubert and combines his favorite things: Children’s literature, and winning. And I think you’re going to love this, with an added sprinkle of doing good things for good people. Each week, two guests go head-to-head in a contest solving children’s mysteries from classics like Encyclopedia Brown, Scooby Doo, and Nancy Drew. And the winning contestant earns money for a charity of their choice.
If this is your shit, subscribe in your podcast app or learn more at meddlingadults.com. You’re gonna love it. Also, Amanda and I competed, Brandon’s competed, Julia’s competed, you’re gonna hear all of our voices on that biz. Meddling Adults, Multitude, get it.
We are sponsored this week by Hero Forge! Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop minis with dozens of fantasy races and thousands of parts to choose from. I would like to make a point about how customizable this is, so I’m going to list all of the poses you can put your character’s body into. You ready? Low Side Kick, soloist, standing still, relaxed regard, bridge guard, come at me bro, contrapposto, English archer, fallen angel, heavy weapon, helping hand, infantry, leaping, notorious spy, poor Yorick, power up, pumped up, ring bearer, roguish stance, sneaking, tada!, three point landing, tread lightly, up up and away, wave, winding up, en guarde, pugilist, crouching advance, shambling, and prone. WHEW. Those are just the poses! You can also like, have small articulations of heads and arms and shoulders and elbows. It gets very granular. You know you want to make your own minis. Go to heroforge.com and make your own mini in these poses, TODAY.
We’re also sponsored by Stitchfix. Shopping for clothes can be daunting. You never know if things will fit, returns are difficult, and you don’t even know what store to start with! This season, let Stitch Fix do all the hard work. Stitch Fix offers clothing hand-selected by expert stylists for your unique size, style, and budget. Every piece is chosen for your fit and your life and it's easy to find what makes you look and feel your best. The best part is you can try on pieces at home before you buy, keep your favorites, and send back the rest. Amanda has opened my eyes up to like, buying stuff from the Internet and not being afraid of sending things back. And you don’t have to go into an actual store and the terrible dressing rooms that always have the worst mirror and the worst lighting. You can do this from home, and Stitch Fix gives you free shipping and packaging to send back— that prepaid return envelope is included and so clutch. So get started today at Stitch Fix dot com slash JOINTHEPARTY and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! That’s Stitch Fix dot com slash JOINTHEPARTY for 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Stitch Fix dot com slash JOINTHEPARTY.
And this podcast is sponsored by Betterhelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? Maybe you gave your tibia to a witch that lives out in the woods who said they would make you feel better if you gave up one of your bones. And you’re like “Okay, but I kinda need this back because it controls my arm.” And she’s like “Yeah yeah yeah, don’t worry about it, but we’re gonna talk about this stuff, don’t worry.” And you haven’t heard from her in like three weeks and you’re worried you’re not gonna get your tibia back. But really, all you need is a therapist? Well, Betterhelp is for you. You get help from a licensed professional counselor. Here’s how it works: Betterhelp will assess your needs and matches you with a counselor. Then, you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions, so you don’t go in person and you never need to wait in an uncomfortable waiting room ever again. Finally, you can message your counselor any time that you want in case that there’s something in between sessions that you’ve been thinking about, and they respond in a timely, thoughtful way and manner. So, try it out at betterhelp.com/jointheparty—that’s better-h-e-l-p and join the over 1,000,000 people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. And not some woman who lives in the woods who takes your bones. Also, Join the Party listeners get 10% off your first month when you go to betterH-E-L-P.com/jointheparty. Thanks Betterhelp.
And now, back to the show!
[Transition music]
Eric: Okay! Well. I guess all three—those were the things that resolve the end of the time loop. Do—do you all want to do anything? On May 2?
Amanda: I think that Aggie wants to run over to town hall and just look in the archives a little bit. She just has had some things that she wanted to look up, and Sundays are normally a good day to go, because there are—you know, the weekend crew is out covering the park, and no one is around to really bother her in Town Hall.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, you can shoot over there. What are you looking for specifically?
Amanda: You know, this is something that Vulcani and Multitool were talking about a little bit during the time loops, when we were waiting for time to reset. And, I would love to know a little bit more about that first mayoral election. I want to know who ran against Dr. Morrow.
Eric: Sure. Why don't you make an investigation check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Okay, I got a 7, but I am going to reroll. I still have luck points, everything's the same except I'm a little higher in nature now.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: That's an 18.
Eric: Nice!
Julia: Yes!
Eric: Okay. So, yeah, you pop down there, you're looking in the archives—18 investigation, you're using all of your latent librarian—
Amanda: Eric, none of the Forest Service records are digitized. And so, looking through old ledgers and shit is something Aggie’s gotten extremely good at.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Okay, with an 18, I want to make something clear. Milo found this out by going into the, like, the CIA's office, and, like going onto his dad's computer who happened to be the point man, and was literally the person writing all of this down. Okay?
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Like, that's how Milo figured that out, especially on a Nat 20, right?
Brandon: You flatter me, Eric.
Eric: It was a great move! It was awesome. But also, you rolled a Nat-20. So like, you got everything. Right? With an 18… I know what you're looking for is--is like,“This was the first ballot in Lake town city, this is like—” ah, you know, like, that's what you would get like on a 20 +, right? But, with an 18, you can get—or that, they definitely kept like some relics that they've kept from like the 70s and 80s of Laketown before the boom happened. And I guess like, these things were put together for you know, like if there was like a mini exhibit in Town Hall that they might put on like the first floor. And like, he was like, “Oh, this is for a beach party that happened” or “This was like for if people wanted to come up during Christmas, they would all have like a big banquet together.” And if it's like the opposite of a Christmas in July, it's like Christmas in the summer house, you know. One of those things, I think, that what you did realize is that there is a flyer advertising more people to get cabins in Laketown. And, there was a contact number at the bottom of this flyer. That was for Home Owners Association President Johannes Reinhardt.
Amanda: Nice. The real Gutenberg’s first name was Johannes.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: Okay, Aggie’s gonna write that down and text Val. Like, (as Aggie) This was the most official thing I could find, but if Laketown City is anything to go by like, that someone who had power then and I am very curious.
Julia (as Val): What if we can track down this motherfucker?
Eric: I think at this point, as you're coming out of the town hall, you get a text. It says, [Eric laughs] it says “maybe: John Paul”
Julia: Oh, no…
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: I don't like that he has my phone number!
Eric: No, it's just--it's just to Aggie, it's just to Aggie.
Julia: [laughing] Okay, good.
Eric: It’s--or, to your superhero phone. It says, (as John Paul) Hey, uhh, I want to catch up, see what's up, what’s going on-- do you by any chance-- would like you and any other LT3, like hang out, and like do the, catch up, whatever…?
Amanda (as Aggie): 100% man, I'm so glad you reached out. Let me coordinate with them, one second. (To Eric) And I'll ask these guys if they're free.
Brandon (as Milo): Oooo, ahhh… so busy…
[Eric laughs]
Julia (as Val): We have—we have apartment viewings from like 2 to 4, but after that I can come by.
[Eric laughs again]
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen, let's meet for, like, a brief meal, let's either meet at my place, or we can meet, you know, out at a—at an Astros, but I think if he reached out, he—he's not gonna do it for feelings. You know, like, either he either needs something or has something, and I think it's worth finding out. He asked for everybody specifically, otherwise, you know, I’d jump on this.
Brandon (as Milo): That's a fair point. Can we go to JUICE? I haven't got my juice today.
Amanda (as Aggie): Excellent. You know, those—those seats are so uncomfortable that no one wants to stay there more than 40 minutes—
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): That’s perfect.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Is that what—is that what Emily was thinking? Fuck, I need to really think more ahead with her.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Oh, yeah, you guys can meet at juice, 100%. Okay, yeah, so um, I think you guys all meet up. And, I think you all—you all get there first, and—because it's downtown, that's where people go to lunch and stuff. So, it is, like, a little slower, but there are people like going in and out. So it's fairly packed, like people are throwing out smoothies and stuff all the time. Like, there's enough people around like no one cares about your conversation. They're like only in their conversations, there’s enough of a din there, as people are like slinging purple smoothies, and Acai bowls, and all that stuff.
Brandon: People are too focused on their metaphysical philosophical discussions about the sun and Sagittarius and all those things to notice us.
Eric: Yeah, this is for Brandon, specifically. Brandon, make an insights check with disadvantage.
[Brandon laugh]
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 2 and 8 and +9. Yeah.
Eric: No—what would you—what would you say your personal insight is?
Brandon: Like, Brandon's?
Eric: Yeah, I'm rolling—this is a Brandon roll.
Brandon: Oh, 0? Negative? [Brandon laughs]
Eric: Okay, so you get a 2. Hey, Brandon here's the thing. If you have a cold, just drink apple cider vinegar.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: Cool cool cool.
Julia: Also, make sure you rinse your mouth out after you drink the apple cider, it hurts, honestly—
Brandon: [Overlapping] It hurts your teeth! Hurts your teeth!
Amanda: [Overlapping] That’s hilarious, actually—
Eric: No, no, no! Just drink it! Julia, just drink it.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: I can't condone this!
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: My enamel, Eric! My enamel!
Eric: “My enamel,” alright. You guys are just hanging out there. And, I think John Paul shows up. He's not wearing the black coat anymore. Again, he's just kind of like wearing like, I don’t know, like a—like a band, like an old band t-shirt, and some jeans—and jeans and sneakers. Very casual. Very much like the last time you saw him. He still has that, like, hangdog look on his face, because he just has a very long face, with—with black eye bags for staying up too early trying to buy Beanie Babies. He—but he still does look a little, like, lighter, a little lighter in his step. But, he's not actually lighter because he's carrying a really, really large gym bag with him.
Julia (as Val): What's in the bag, bruh?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, you look great. Glad to see you. What—what the hell's in there?
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, you know, that was kind of what I wanted to talk to you guys about—ah, hold on, (falling noise) (back to normal voice) is the bag, like, settles on the ground with a thump. He's like, (as John Paul) Oh, well, you know, I just want to thank you all for, like, doing all that stuff for me. And, I realized, I shouldn't have been using the collective action of workers for my own personal benefit.
Julia (as Val): Mhmm!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yep!
Eric (as John Paul): And also, my relationship actually seemed pretty toxic. And so like, I'm not going after her anymore. I'm just gonna like try live my life.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, good!
Eric (as John Paul): If you guys do know, like, somewhere like for me to rent, that would be pretty cool. Cause I need to do that…
Julia (as Val): How do you feel about pizza?
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, it's pretty good. Actually, I do—I love pizza a lot.
Julia (as Val): Good, cause like, my apartment might be opening up in the future at some point. So maybe, maybe you could potentially rent it after me.
Eric (as John Paul): Aw, yeah, hell yeah, that would be super cool. That would be awesome. I think it would be good. I don't know, I'm not really sure—well, this is kind of related to what I wanted to ask you about, but I wanted to give you—like, to say thank you to you guys. And um, (back to normal voice) He reaches into the gym bag, and comes out—
Amanda: Aggie, like, braces herself...
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: He, like, he reaches his whole like top half of his body into the gym bag, and then comes out with like, in his arms are just like, bricks of $100 bills.
Brandon: What?
Eric: And he drops—
Amanda (as Aggie): John Paul, put that away!
Brandon (as Milo): What are you doing??
Eric (as John Paul): What? I just—
Amanda (as Aggie): I think it’s illegal to carry that much cash!
Julia (as Val): Have you guys never seen a bag full of money before? What are you, what are you—?
Amanda (as Aggie): No, Val! No, I have not!
Eric (as John Paul): No, doesn’t it look cool? I thought it looked really cool.
Brandon (as Milo): This is a cooperatively owned Juice, they are not okay with capitalism in this—in this place. [Brandon laughs]
Eric: [laughing] Um, Milo, make an—make an inside check for me?
[Dice Rolls]
Brandon: 17 total.
Eric: [pause] With a 17—hey, although you said that to John Paul, you know that Juice fucking sold out, man.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Juice loves capitalism.
Brandon: That's true.
Amanda: Oh, no!
Eric: Yeah, they’re using like, union buzzwords, but they actually—like they pay their workers really poorly, and the CEO of Juice gets like tons of bonuses all the time—
Amanda: Boo!
Eric: —and they work with like—
Brandon: Sounds right.
Eric: —bad places. So, John Paul’s like (as John Paul), No, I just wanted to thank you guys for helping me, and I thought it'd be cool to like, bring you stacks of cash.
Julia (as Val): It would be nice to be financially, like, given money for our superhero-ing every once in a while...
Brandon (as Milo): Where did you get this money, first?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah...
Brandon (as Milo): Was this—Did you short something?
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, yeah. Like, I still do the thing that was happening. So like, I just did it—set it at like, 8 am, and then I showed up to the spot. So—but it all happened, and I took it all out of my account. People, like, will do wild things for you when you have like $100 million, just like in there. Yeah.
[Cafe noises begin in the background]
Brandon (as Milo): Alright, well I’m sold!
Julia (as Val): How many of those millions do we get? Just to--just to check real quick.
Eric (as John Paul): Well, banks are usually not open on Saturdays, is something that I learned. So—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as John Paul): But like, they opened for me, which I thought was really cool.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): That is cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow.
Eric (as John Paul): This is only like a million here, like I have a lot. It was more like for the for the surprise for you guys, like this isn't it all of it, but—
Julia (as Val): Val’s like, so I'll take this bag and then you can bring Aggie and Milo their bags—
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): —you know, sometime in the future.
Eric (as John Paul): No, I think it would just be easier for you guys to split the things that I have here.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: And he gives each of you $100,000 in cash.
Julia (as Val): Oh-okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): Wow—I mean, thank you.
Eric: In like, bricks. [Eric laughs]
Julia: Just like, stuffing it into their jackets, Val is like, (as Val) Thank you very much, this is very kind of you.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I just, I want to say thank you, and you guys are… it was cool that you did that. So like, I think I'm just gonna, like keep investing this and like, see what's happening. But like, you know—
Julia (as Val): You know what you should invest in, John Paul? Your community.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, it's really just like, the most powerful thing. You know, like, imagine how people treated you in the bank today. Like, imagine if, if everybody had kind of a little more standing, or if they were less kind of financially insecure themselves, like, what they would go out and do, you know, and like what they could do for their community. And, you know, really investing that, I think that's—Val, so smart, smartest thing you ever said. I couldn't agree more.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah…
Julia (as Val): Smartest thing I’ve ever said?
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda: I look at Val, like, come on, look at me.
Eric (as John Paul): No, I know. It'd be cool. I mean, like, you know, although, like it turned out that he was a really bad guy, I did learn, like a lot of, like, like VC strategies, and I thought that was pretty cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): From Gutenberg?
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I mean, like, he really—yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, speaking of that, I need to go, like, defeat him.
[Brandon and Julia laugh]
Eric (as John Paul): Oh.
Amanda (as Aggie): So, do you like—do you like have his contact info? Like, where do you guys meet? You know, that would really be helpful. And again, I will make it clear: I'm not gonna tell him that it came from you. It's more like, you know, whenever you have, by way of helping us, you know, would be just an additional nice present on top of this completely unexpected financial contribution.
Brandon (as Milo): To be clear, also, like, we're chill, right? Like, we don't owe each other anything? This is just goodness out of your heart?
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, no, cuz you all like changed my life, and then I gave you $100,000, so it's equal.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, good. Yeah. I just want to make sure we weren't, you know, your superhero pri—I mean, your private friend… army. You know what I mean? Wink.
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): We—we’ll be your friends cuz we want to be your friends. You know what I mean?
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, nice. I really appreciate that.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, yeah.
Eric (as John Paul): I really appreciate how we had to say explicitly that like, we don't owe each other anything because that's what friends do, they’re like really clear. [Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, most of my friends have not given me 100 grand, to be fair.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, okay, I thought that's like a thing friends did to each other. So.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know, it's not, that what makes it all the more exceptional, you know?
Eric (as John Paul): Okay. Uh, yeah. I mean, I can't give you his con-- his, like, contact information. If that's what you want.
Julia (as Val): That would be wonderful, yes.
Amanda (as Aggie): Great. Yes.
Eric (as John Paul): Cool. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I yeah, I can give you the--his website. That's like what I was using, where I found him the first time so like, he directed me to this thing. And that's how we talked. Yeah, totally. I can give it to you. (Back to normal voice) And he pulls it up. He texted it to Aggie, and it's a www, dot, uh... honestly, it's probably just, www.gutenberg.com. Like, I—he probably got that. And like, I don't know if that exists in our world that we're existing in but he probably—if Gutenberg exists, he got gutenberg.com. Or .org, or .biz, or whatever it is.
Amanda: Guten… (spelling out) b e dot r g?
Eric: Yeah, Guten b.rg—
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: —that’s probably what it is.
Amanda (as Aggie): I wasn't expecting it to be so straightforward, I'm not gonna lie.
Julia (as Val): Yeah… I want to like Google—Aggie, can we, like, Google that guy's name and also “Gutenberg,” and see what comes up on the internet?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Because, if he's like a well-known VC guy or something or is making a lot of money, he's got to exist somewhere on the internet. Right?
Amanda (as Aggie): That's a great point. John Paul, you did the—the bots and stuff right? Like you're pretty good at the Internet. Like, get on the dark web and things?
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I can do that. I think Gutenberg was the one who put together the bots and stuff, but I could try. I mean, we could—you could just go to the website, if you want to check it out.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, no, let's just, like—I just would love your help now, while we're here, you know, drinking our Collectivism morning smoothies—
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: —which to be back on it, is kind of a fucked up name. We—I found the name of a—of a guy from older Laketown. And, I want to know if he's like changed his identity, or who he is, specifically if he's Gutenberg, because I kind of think he is.
Julia (as Val): We need a hacker on the team… (normal voice) Val’s just like, (as Val) Do I know any hackers?
Amanda (as Aggie): Or we need to convince Carmen to go to the dark side, you know.
Julia (as Val): Milo, why are you raising your hand when I asked if we have hackers?
Brandon (as Milo): You've never seen me hack! You don't know! [Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I feel like you would have volunteered this information earlier, if you were actually a hacker.
Brandon (as Milo): I--I've built, um… in 11th grade, I built the school website on HTML.
Julia (as Val): Okay, that is not what I am looking for.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I mean like, I spent a lot of time on Neopets building websites too, like, what, are we just saying things that are true about ourselves?
Julia: Why are we sick burning both Amanda and me?
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh, great. So, let's all put our phones on the table, and let's look up Johannes Reinhart.
Brandon (as Milo): Cool.
Eric: Uh, I think you look up, “Johannes Reinhardt,” and I think that you don't find anything, like, specific, like if you were just googling that name. I think that, it could be like that's just some dude's name. Like, you're not finding anything that pops up immediately on the first page of the Google results.
Brandon: There’s no, like, LinkedIn that says, like, you know, “Johannes Reinhart—”
Amanda: “Supervillain”
Brandon: “—CEO of Evil, Inc,” or something like that?
Eric: No, no, no,
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: I’m going to try, like, “LTC,” “Laketown,” yeah, like, “election,” like a bunch of different keywords.
Eric: Yeah, I think that you see like, I don't know, maybe it like popped up on Wikipedia, like in Dr. Morrow’s Wikipedia page, there was a photo. It was like, someone took a Polaroid of everyone at this summer party, out on the lake in 1984, or something. And, you know, that was one of the people identified. You also see that there is a, um—in 2004, there was like, Oh, Johannes Reinhardt, he retired from doing the HOA, because also like, we don't need an HOA anymore, because we have a custodian, and why would we have an HOA have a thing that like doesn't really exist, especially as Laketown was incorporated into Laketown. City.
Julia: In the picture of the Polaroid of the summer party. Do I recognize anyone in that photo?
Eric: Oh, yeah. I mean, you'd recognize, like, your mom and your dad...
Julia: Oh, shit. I should just ask my mom if she knows who Johannes Reinhardt is…
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: I call my mom immediately on the phone.
Eric: I'd be like, (As Val’s mom) Oh, wow, we're talking twice in one day. It's my birthday, on the phone, Christ—
[Brandon and Amanda laugh]
Julia (as Val): It’s ‘cause I love you. Ma, I had a question about a guy.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Yeah?
Julia (as Val): Do you remember a guy named Johannes Reinhardt.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Oh, yeah, he’s a real stickler about icicles.
Julia (as Val): Okay…
Brandon: Uhh, what?
Eric (as Val’s mom): You know, when the icicles hang down, you got to make sure that everyone in the HOA--he was the HOA president of all the, you know, Laketown, a while ago and you know, if you didn't knock down the icicles during the winter--but I'm like, I'm not there in the winter, and he’s like “Ahh, it's still your problem. You still need to deal with it.” And I-- he was a real--real asshole about--excuse me, sorry, Mary—Mary Magdalene and baby Jesus. He was a real asshole.
Julia (as Val): Do you have any like pictures of like, early Laketown and like, maybe he's in any of these?
Eric (as Val’s mom): Yeah, oh, sure. I'm sure I have some photo albums around that. You can come look at yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Alright, I might come back tomorrow. We can go to church, and then I'll come look at the photo albums.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Yeah! Okay.
Julia (as Val): Also, Ma—you were around for the first election for Laketown City, who did Mayor Morrow run against?
Eric (as Val’s mom): Oh, my God. So long ago. Oh, that? Yeah, that guy!
Julia (as Val): It was him?
Eric (as Val’s mom): Yeah, it was him.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Cool. Good to know. Good to know. Thank you, Ma.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Yeah, he's old now.
Julia (as Val): But like, you're old now.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Val’s mom): First of all, wow. Wow. To your own mother? Who brought you into this world and could take you out of it? First of all, wow.
Julia (as Val): I love you.
Eric (as Val’s mom): You have to do a lot more than that.
Julia (as Val): Okay, I'm coming to church and looking through photo albums in your house tomorrow. That's enough.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Oh, well, now we're going to church, perfect. Wonderful. But no, he was—he was his family. The—the Reinhardt's had a house in Laketown for a very long time. And he was a second, third or fourth—you know, there were a lot of them. So, you know, he was pretty old at the, you know, I was just a young—a young buck. Like you, running around with your father. Avoiding mob hits, you know, every 22-year-old’s dream.
Julia (as Val): Mhmm.
Eric (as Val’s mom): And he was, he was in his 50s at that time.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Val’s mom): Back in 1985, so he’s old now. I don't--I hope he's still alive.
Julia (as Val): [pause] Eric, this is gonna be a weird question--when I met Brett, how old was he?
Eric: Good question. Brett was in his mid 40s.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Okay. Hm.
Amanda: Did Brett resemble Johannes as we see him in the photo?
Eric: Ah… What do you guys—why don’t you make an investigation check?
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 17.
Eric: 17. Yeah, family resemblance. Not the same guy though.
Julia: Mhmm. Oh, maybe it’s like his—his nephew—
Amanda: His son?
Julia: —or his son or something like that. Huh.
Amanda (as Aggie): And John Paul, did you have any idea, besides just corresponding on the dark web? Like, did he ever mention, like, where he was or a pop culture reference you didn't understand? Like, let's—let's really sort of, you know, CSI this right here.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I mean, he really—he made a lot of references I now realize was “Wargames” —you know the movie “Wargames”?
[Julia laughs]
Julia (as Val): Okay…
Eric (as John Paul): Matthew Broderick was in it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, wow.
Eric (as John Paul): It was like—and “The Wizard”? Can you remember “The Wizard”?
Amanda (as Aggie): [Shaking head sound]
Eric (as John Paul): It was actually a movie that was used as, just as marketing for the Super Nintendo, which is kind of funny.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh yeah, I remember that!
Julia (as Val): So he’s a big like 80s guy he was in the 80s he's probably a child of the 80s got it.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, 80s and 90s. Yeah, lots of those. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's why he gave me the, you know, that's why he gave me an N-64.
Amanda (as Aggie): Good point.
Eric (as John Paul): Okay, I—yeah. I don't know. He—he covered his tracks pretty well. I mean, I looked at the website, the website was pretty—he just, like, had all of his accolades and, and all that stuff on him. I didn't remember his name. He just like he scrubbed his name and didn't have any photos but like seemed legit and I compared it to all that stuff.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, see even that would have been really helpful. Apart from the—the money so you know, that was great. Thank you.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, no, for sure. Definitely.
Eric: You guys all get a text from the Dr. Morrow group chat, the one with Dez, January, her and all of you guys. And, Dr. Morrow says, (as Dr. Morrow) Ah, no pressure, you know, if was in fact—you were stuck in a time loop, and that was just the thing that you couldn't do when you were out on the time loop things—did you end up going over to the gallery and checking that thing out?
Julia (as Val): Super did!
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Ah, we did a lot, everything is okay, except that many of those items probably can still do stuff. So, I would suggest, you know, maybe tracking down more of your refuse and making sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
Julia (as Val): Find your trash doctor, find the trash.
Eric: [laughs] The next text is Dr. Morrow going, (as Dr. Morrow) Uhhhhh—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: And then a link to a video from Channel 7 ½ news, where they're at the Art Gallery. And, they're reporting on a big explosion, or as they're calling it, that happened at the Art Gallery.
[Explosion sounds]
Eric: Basically, Someone touched the guitar.
Brandon: Oh no.
Eric: And, if you remember, when you don't roll incredibly well, like Brandon did. When you touch the guitar, the guitar strings just vibrate out and create a massive audio burst out. Like--
Eric (as news broadcast): I'm here at Byron Zorn’s Art Gallery, where multiple people were injured in a Dr. Morrow-related—
Julia: [laughs] Oh no, oh god—
Eric (as news broadcast): —artifact attack. (Back to normal voice) So, someone touched the guitar. And then it, like, shot everyone out. And then, it also turned on the air conditioning—
Julia: Oh no…
Eric: —which then froze like a bunch of people. And it's like (as news broadcast) Some were injured from the frostbite, other people were thrown 20, 30, even 40 feet through walls in some way. Luckily, these were just plaster walls. And, they were—most of the people were able to survive.
Julia (as Val): This is why you need a proper curator for your art galleries. So they can look at this stuff and be like “This isn't poison!”
Brandon (as Milo): Put everything in the museum! Come on!
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm going to add Carmen to the group chat, and say “SOS”
Julia (as Val): Come and help! Come and help!
Eric: Carmen texts (as Carmen) Uhh...
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: The video continues, and the reporter says, (as news reporter) We have here a witness who was actually one of the injured. Excuse me, Miss, can you—do you have a chance to talk? (Back to normal voice) And the woman steps up and flicks her Bob over to one side.
Amanda: Oh no…
Eric: And that is goddamn Shannon Redwine.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Fuckin’ Shannon Redwine!
Eric: This is the next day, so she's wearing—she's wearing the exact same jumpsuit that Byron Zorn was wearing the day before?
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): Poser…
Eric: And she's like, (as Shannon) Oh, yeah, hi, um, WOW, I can't believe that happened. I was just standing there minding my own business, and then all of a sudden, there was a big explosion. And I was just thrown. And it was just—it was pretty, it was pretty traumatic for me, I don't I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive. (Back to normal voice) And their partner says, (as news reporter) Well, you see, you were in fact that—when people said you were thrown 30 feet through the front wall of the gallery—how are you okay? You look fine. (Back to normal voice) And she says, (as Shannon) Oh, well, you know, I've actually, you know, I—my regimens that I do, I feel—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as Shannon): —it really helped me. I just want to say I'm actually you know, the thing that actually keeps me together and really keeps my stamina up so that I'm able to run five miles every day and survive being thrown through walls is that I get Juice, and I always make sure to put my Vitamin M supplement in the juice. And, I'm not just saying this because I am an influencer, and I'm affiliated with the Vitamin M corporation, but I think that is really the thing that saved me here today. This is—it is totally natural, 100% organic. It's harvested right here in Laketown City—
Julia (as Val): Oh, motherfucker—
Eric (as Shannon): —and it actually comes from the, actually comes from, you know the Greek word, the Greek word, it's “Mycoremediation”, which is like the real scientific word.
[Julia groans]
Eric (as Shannon): It's, a, it means—in Latin, it means restoring balance, and like, that's what I'm doing to my body.
Julia: Val just yells at their phone, (as Val) No, it doesn't!!!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Shannon): It just—it restores balance in my body [trails off]. (Back to normal voice) And, the reporter says, (as news reporter) Oh, well, if you can hold on, Byron Zorn is about to make a statement. Hold on, we're gonna—(Back to normal voice) And he, like, points to the camera. And now like all these reporters are holding up their microphones and the cameras now trained on Byron's Zorn, who’s walked through the front. And, again, we haven't really interacted with Byron Zorn, but he's a big dude. Like, he's like, taller than everyone else there. He's like 6’ 6”, even with another statement hat, and another, like incredible jumpsuit with a different floral print on it. He's like, (as Byron) Alright, hold on, everybody. It's nice to see you. It's nice to see you. I know, it’s not really a good thing. Oh, hey, Jake, how's your how's your wife going? (Back to normal voice) And Jake's like, “Oh, man, great.” And he like, points over to Shannon in the back of like, (as Byron) Hey! Great minds. Great minds, right? Great mind.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as Byron): Oh, okay. Listen, this has been a real tragedy that has happened here. I, listen, I take full responsibility. I didn't—this was just an artistic piece that I had from recovering Dr. Cassandra Morrow’s things. I didn't know that they were dangerous. There should have been a label on them. And listen, it is in fact, our fascination, the reason why we were doing this in the first place, is because our fascination with Dr. Morrow is dangerous. These things seem funny and silly, but they are in fact bad news and dangerous. And, I—listen, I didn't know, this is on me. I should have been more on my due diligence. I thought Dr. Morrow, I thought our Mayor would have been able to be involved in things that were more much more safe. But, I guess not. So, [sighs] for—I want to say, I'm sorry for my negligence, for not looking into these things more clearly. Because I trusted what Dr. Cassandra Morrow—our mayor for so many years—what she had done. And really, isn't that the real art piece—it’s the real art piece here, everyone, anyone who is injured I’m paying for your hospital bills. Don't worry, bill it right to me. You can also go on the insurance that I've set up for everyone in the art gallery, you can just come on my health insurance for a certain amount of time, that's fine. And yes, I'll be—I'll take questions.
Eric: And then there's, like, a scrum of reporters taking questions. And that's where the video ends.
Brandon (as Milo): He's gonna run for mayor, isn't he?
Julia (as Val): He'd be a good mayor.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): He'd be a good mayor. Except for the fact that we are deeply, inextricably affiliated with Dr. Morrow.
[Brandon laughs, Julia sighs]
Eric (as John Paul): So do you know, who is that?
Julia (as Val): Who is—who is what?
Eric (as John Paul): Oh, who was the guy with the statement hat?
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): You were in his in his art gallery multiple times.
Eric (as John Paul): I wasn't paying attention. I was doing like a--
Julia (as Val): [Overlapping] You need to start paying attention!
Eric (as John Paul): —like a mission for love.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know, I think the deepest love is awareness and responsibility to those around us so, maybe—
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Eric (as John Paul): Cool.
Amanda (as Aggie): Maybe that's something that you think about.
Eric (as John Paul): Wow. Thank you. (Back to normal voice) He reaches in the bag and gives you another $10,000. [Eric laughs]
Julia (as Val): Hey!
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, John Paul, I really want you not to give me any more money in the course of our friendship.
Julia: Val takes it.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric (as John Paul): No, no. No, it's for Aggie! No!
Julia (as Val): Do not try to slap this away from me!
Eric (as John Paul): Okay, fine. Thanks for—thanks for giving me that apartment tip. I really appreciate it.
Julia (as Val): You're welcome. I will put in a nice reference for you.
Eric (as John Paul): Okay, well, I can probably just pay it in cash. So like—but like, I think they'll really like me.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, but it's Little Italy, you’ll need a reference.
Eric (as John Paul): Okay. Cool. (Back to normal voice) Why don't you all make a perception check form me?
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Oo! A 16!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Oo, I got a 21, I used a luck point to reroll. So, I'll mark that down.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 8 + 9 for 17.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I still rolled the lowest…
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: With a 16… You guys look around and you realize you're in Juice. Right?
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: And you're like—
Amanda: Eric, it wasn’t a 2.
Eric: No, you look around and you’re in Juice, and you're like, “Wait, wait a second.” And who-- you rolled the highest, right Aggie?
Amanda (as Aggie): I rolled 21.
Eric: All right. Val, Milo, you look up at the big, you know, menu. It's behind the counter and you look and using the supplements is Vitamin M. And then Aggie you see that the juice barista--the juicista? [laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes.
Eric: Slides a bright orange smoothie to like a woman in her mid--mid-30s, with a tight bun, is walking up to grab it, and she says (as the woman) Orange Razzle Dazzle, with Vitamin M supplement for Sandra! (Back to normal voice) And Sandra comes up and grabs it. And says, (as Sandra) Thanks! (Back to normal voice) And walks out.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, we're gonna have to stop this huh?
Brandon (as Milo): Mhmm.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna have to hold Dr. Morrow accountable for several decades of irresponsible administration, recover our reputations in the eyes of the Laketown City Public and, you know, stop this performance enhancing drug from being distributed in franchise of Juice Stations statewide.
Brandon (as Milo): It also tastes bad. It's just—just as bad. Why would you get it?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. I don’t know.
Julia (as Val): Well, apparently it's given everyone fucking superpowers. So, that's why they’re getting it.
Amanda (as Aggie): That makes sense. [sighs]
Eric: Val, can you make an insight check for me?
Julia: Yeah—
Eric: Or make it—sorry, make a history check.
Julia: Oh, no, can I do insight? I’m better at that.
Eric: It’s—it’s history, I’m sorry.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: 3.
Eric: Okay. Fuck Shannon Redwine.
Julia (as Val): Seriously, FUCK Shannon Redwine!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Fuck Shannon Redwine.
Julia (as Val): Ughh!!
Amanda: As we leave, can I duck into the alley and check the, like, the cardboard stacks next to the dumpster, to see if there's any branding? Vitamin M related?
Eric: Great fucking idea, do an investigation check for me.
Julia: Good job! Can I give Amanda the help action of some kind?
Eric: Yeah, you guys can do it together.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, I’ll cast guidance too.
Eric: Yeah, do it. So, I'll give you an advantage, plus guidance.
Amanda: Okay, great.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: And, you walk to the alley, and you see 14 Freegans.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: You have to push the Freegans out of the way.
Amanda: Is guidance a D-4?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: Okay, the total is 17.
Julia: Pretty good.
Eric: All right. 17. This isn't like—it's not in the dumpster. Like you were saying. It's very funny. We're back at the dumpster—
Amanda: Yeah. yeah.
Eric: —in the alley next to the juice, where you were when the Knight of Mirrors was coming by.
Brandon: Memories.
Amanda: Yeah, memories.
Eric: Yeah, recalling by fucking memories, right? And, I think that the dumpster is empty though. There's no trash bags in there for you to route around in, or for you to like find actual, like food garbage. But, I think that you do see that there is a—not a pallet necessarily, but like a cardboard box with like the plastic on it. And maybe someone had ripped it out there. And like, in millennial styling, you know, like the sans serif and like the bold colors—
Amanda: Oh, I know.
Eric: —and everything is like, like a lavender, like lavender and white and black I guess are kinda kind of the brand name. And it's for like there's a there's a cardboard box for Vitamin M. “Make yourself better,” is the tagline.
Julia: Is there like a shipping, like, business address on there?
Eric: Hmm, yeah, there is an address on there, which is to an address that would be out in the marshes.
Amanda: Okay. Yeah. Ah, (as Aggie) I put the box down in frustration and just, open my phone—Is there a list of, like, companies, Byron Zorn owns?
Julia: Ooo!
Eric: Make a guidance check.
Julia: Can I also do another help action for Aggie here?
Eric: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Uh, 15.
Julia: Is guidance for one minute? Or is it just for one roll, Brando?
Brandon: Uh, that’s a good question [pauses]. It’s up to one minute.
Julia: All right. Roll that D-4.
Amanda: All right. Great idea, Julia.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: All right, I got a 1, so it’s 16.
Eric: 16.
Julia: Still good! Better than 15!
Brandon: That is one more!
Eric: I'm gonna say that Byron Zorn is kind of just like a, you know, you don't know where his money comes from. He's just like one of those people who seems to be rich from doing absolutely nothing. Like, he's over six feet tall, so people give him opportunities. You know what I mean?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Yes.
Eric: But, you know, he's, he's not like a VC guy. This is like when Ashton Kutcher went on Shark Tank, you know?
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: So, he's not like a VC guy necessarily, or an investor. But like, he has money he dabbles and I think like there's a profile of him written up in Average Bear where he's like, he's like, “Yeah, I've been like looking into things that I think I really want to, like improve the environment and like the way that we consume food and, and like our personal nutrition and stuff. And like, I've been doing a lot of stuff like watching my--the food that I eat all the time, and really like hitting my macros—” So like, he's in like this field, but you do not have—he didn't say like, “I'm the chief investor—” there's no like bullet in saying, “I'm the chief investor of Vitamin M!” [Everyone laughs] But he's like, into macros and nutrition and stuff.
Amanda: Supplements.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Gotcha, yeah. Like nutrition and stuff.
Amanda: All right.
Brandon: The wellness industry.
Eric: Exactly, he's into wellness, capital W wellness.
Julia: Have there been any, like, articles written about this Vitamin M?
Eric: 100%. I think that over the last few months, specifically, you see a lot of like trend pieces about Vitamin M.
Julia: Hmm. Okay.
Brandon: It’s on the Gloop blog?
Eric: It’s by Gloop, yeah.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I'll share this information with everybody, and be like, maybe we can set up some surveillance on that warehouse. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that this is all pretty related. This seems like a publicity stunt, if I ever smelled one.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. I could ask around to see if, you know, certain people are involved in distributing, you know, either illegally or not, uh the mushrooms.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. And, John Paul, if you could just like next time, you’re—is it inside the dark web? On the dark web? [Eric laughs] You are the dark web?
Eric (as John Paul): I'm part of the dark web.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. So, next time you guys like, merge—
Eric (as John Paul): —in the dark… in the shadows…
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. If you can figure out how to buy some Vitamin M. Or, those truffles, that would be really interesting to see who is selling them.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah, I'll look into it.
Amanda (as Aggie): Don't buy them, to be clear.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Don’t buy them.
Eric (as John Paul): Okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): Don’t.
Eric (as John Paul): Wait, why?
Julia (as Val): You can buy whatever you want. We're not anti-drug here. [Julia laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): More like, I don't want to put you in harm's way if the person that's selling them-- [laughs] [narrating] Val is like, shrugging, obviously.
Julia (as Val): [laughing] I’m less concerned.
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright, well anyway, thanks for the money.
Eric (as John Paul): Yeah. (Back to normal voice) Last thing right before you guys leave. Do you guys go to the website? The Gutenberg website?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, but I go on incognito mode, on my phone.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes. yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: But do you do that with John Paul there?
Amanda (as Aggie): Probably. Like, he's—he's walking away, and we're kind of, like, hanging out outside, as each of us is figuring out where to go next, and I think we'd probably do it then.
Eric: Cool. Who’s phone are you doing it on?
Julia (as Val): We can do it on mine, and we’ll put it on in incognito mode.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: [laughing] There's like a tab Streeteasy open, you're like “Fuck!”
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: You go on to Guten—Guten [laughs], Gutenb.erg, and—so, John Paul described it as just kind of like a basic website, someone threw together a website builder just to throw up the information, right? You go on Gutenberg. And, it's a video, and it starts to play.
[suspenseful electronic music starts]
Eric: And, the camera is focused, just like on a tripod, just focused on this, like, massive oak desk. There are leather touches all throughout the room. There's bookcases on either side. And, you see that there's a very large wingback chair with the back facing you. And then it turns around, and it's Brett. But Brett, instead, is not wearing like the Carhartt and the pre-rumpled jeans that you saw him in. He's wearing, like, a suit, but no tie, and like two buttons are--are off of, like, the incredibly starched white shirt. And like, you can, like, see the suit jacket that he's wearing is like midnight blue with like white stitching in it. He turns around and says—
Eric (as Brett): Ah! LT3! I didn't think it would take this long. Well, if you've seen this website and you're watching the video, that means the time loop is over. And you've compromised that fucking idiot John Paul. Good, I guess. I’m sure I can't really tell the difference of what you’ve messed up or not, because, you know, time, but I'm willing to take that risk. It’s a risk, I know. And I want the upside. You probably have a lot of questions here, so I'm just going to tell you everything. I hate Dr. Morrow, because she's unethical. And she's bad at her job. I was an intern at Morrow Corps. I saw her recklessness, she left so much on the table of what we can do for our city, for our world. And also, she never remembered my name.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Brett): She thought it was Brett, it wasn't Brett. If she's picking powered people to be better, I don't trust her. I think we need a better crop than you doofuses that are running around here. So, I want you to know what I'm saying right now. I'm the one pushing the One-Up Truffles. Try to stop me, you can’t. Also, Multitool. I hope you have a job to support two.
[music stops]
Eric: And then Val, the video ends, and then your phone just, like, goes up in flames.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: I'm just holding it like, (as Val) Motherfucker. C’mon. (Back to normal voice) I think Val also turns to the other two to be like, (as Val) I will burn the marshes down before I let him win this.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, absolutely.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah. I'm gonna text Teagan.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): [texting Teagan] Hey, is everything okay? I'm doing some… heroing, and, uh, I want to make sure that you're all right.
Eric (as Teagan): What? Oh, yeah, no, everything's fine. Article’s doing really well. You guys are—everyone’s talking about all the wonderful things that you guys have done for them. It’s awesome. I mean, I knew it, but it's just awesome.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, the article is amazing. The graphic was great. Whoever did that, like please thank them for me. Okay, I'll—I'll check in with you later. Sorry, to bother you at work. It's just… [sighs].
Eric (as Teagan): No, it’s cool. Okay. Um, should I be worried?
Amanda (as Aggie): Why don’t you let me pick you up from work?
Eric (as Teagan): Okay, I’m just at—I’m just at my spot. I’m not working right now. I gotta go, I have the like—oh, did you want to do something this weekend? I have to go back to New York City, they’re doing like a big Average Bear meeting, so I’m gonna go back on Sunday, and go back to my apartment and then go in on Monday, so we can’t hang out this weekend.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh no, it’s fine. Do you mind—how about I bring you dinner tonight? Is that okay?
Eric (as Teagan): Yeah, sure. That sounds great.
Amanda (as Aggie): Cool. I'll be by in an hour or so.
Eric (as Teagan): Cool. Okay. Talk to you later.
Amanda (as Aggie): [To the group] I think Gutenberg is gonna get [sighs] Teagan fired.
Julia (as Val): Uh oh.
Brandon (as Milo): Milo’s gonna text his dad, and, just, real quick, be like, “Hey, heads up, Pops. A new bad guy on the scene goes by the name of Johannes Reinhardt Jr. AKA Gutenberg—”
[Everyone laughs]
Brandon (as Milo): “See if—if you can give me any info like, you know, legally let me know. Uh, thanks. The Pops thing was a joke, PS, bye.”
Eric: You get a text from a messaging service that you didn't know was on your phone—
Amanda: Wuh oh.
Julia: Oh my god.
Eric: It’s literally, it's like of a ghost holding a phone to his ear—
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: —is the, is the image of the app, and you get a text there being like (as Milo’s dad) Milo, in the future, please text me on this app—
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Milo’s dad): I will keep an eye out, of course.
[Eerie music starts]
Eric: As you guys are standing in front of juice, just like--you know, open handed trying to figure out what's happening with Val's smoldering phone on the—on the ground.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: I think, like, we have a panel there like zooms out and zooms out away from you. So we see—do you know what I—as you start to just be a speck on the pavement outside and in Downtown Laketown City. And then, we zoom in to the loft in New York City, where Danny lives. And Danny is standing on the roof of his building, with the wind whipping around, and he seems to just be, like, in a fugue state. And, you see that, like, he's just painting with abandon, and kind of we see the back of a canvas on an easel, and you see like—he has, like, the same, like, fog around him as when Preserver used to heal people. He just has this fog around him as he's literally painting. Like, his eyes have no color to them, except for like, this orange-y swirl that's around him. And then, eventually there's like another panel where the orange-y stuff disappears. And, like, Danny, like, comes back to his senses. He's like, (as Danny) Oh, alright, let's see what I did. (Back to normal voice) And then the final panel is of the painting. And on one side is Multitool stretching out towards the center of the painting. And on the other side, is Preserver stretching out with her other hand, with her glow coming off of her hand.
Amanda: Say what now??
Julia: Ahh…
Brandon: What?? What???
[Amanda laughs nervously]
[Ending music]