It is fall again in Lake Town City, and everything is a lot different than it was a year ago. Almost like we were waiting on those leaves to change, and now they're at their reddest and orangests and yellowest. We are at the peak. Maybe. The LT3 save the day…?
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Hey, you probably remember. After they fought Gutenberg, a whole mass of reporters showed up at Dr. Morrow's place because the entire fight was streamed during the 11 o'clock news to every TV in Laketown city. Dr. Morrow delicately held January in her arms. Aggie surprised everyone and unmasked. Milo also unmasked and then threw his dad's name into the mayoral race. Val screamed "What?" and got a phone call from Aunt Min, which was both vaguely familial and threatening. The classics. You said WTF to the choices, but more like WATC -- What-are-the-consequences? Let's get the party started.
[JTP Intro Theme Music plays]
Eric: It is Fall in upstate New York and there's a real sense of beginning. In other parts of the country, Fall might feel like a slow decline in a winter, but here in the Adirondacks. Oh, you know what, this is my script from episode one. I need to do the one for this Fall.
[Amanda hums in amazement]
Eric: In 2020 x+1, now that we are on our way back to Fall.
Amanda: Like scientific notation.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Exactly! It is fall it Laketown city and everything is a lot different than it was a year ago
[Julia snickers]
Eric: Almost like we were waiting on those leaves to change, but maybe now they're at their reddest and orange just and yellowest, maybe read the peak. Maybe. You want to hear about some of the stuff that has changed?
Brandon: I do!
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda: Why would anything change, Eric?
Julia: Nothing's changed. Everything is fine.
Eric: Well, everyone gets an alert pushed to their phone -- everyone throughout the entire country -- because Multimillionaire John Press is out as the head of Movable Type VC.
[Amanda hums in surprise]
Brandon: And they pushed that to everyone's phone in the country as an emergency alert?
Eric: Everyone who signs up for CNN and Average Bear news alerts.
[Amanda hums in understanding]
Brandon: Gotcha, gotcha!
Eric: The Average Bear Alert was actually very thirsty about it. It's like, "John Press is out!"
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Seems weird that they're pushing that so hard.
Eric: Without -- Well, the thing is, he is no longer part of the controlling stake of Average Bear as Movable Type is, but the other problem is that not only has John Press disappeared into the air, everyone who worked in Movable Type has also disappeared into the air because all of them were created by Gutenberg and were made out of pixels.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Julia: Yeah, that kind of ruins your business model.
[Brandon huffs a laugh]
Brandon: Yeah, for real.
Eric: The money was real. The people were not
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: There's a real... a real metaphor here for, like, some people's management style, but I'm gonna let it marinate.
[Eric huffs a laugh]
[Brandon and Julia chuckles]
Eric: Unfortunately, that means that Average Bear has gone into hibernation, but a few folk --
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: -- are. Thank you. A few folks are mulling over.
Amanda: How?
Julia: Because it's bears.
Eric: Yeah, because it's bears.
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: Because it get nice and chunky before it went to sleep?
Eric: Yeah, with VC money.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: But there's no more.
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: But a few folks are mulling over starting their new independent entity called Sleuth, which as everyone knows, is a group of bears. It's a double entendre.
Amanda: Is it really?
Julia: That's incredible.
Eric: Yeah. Investigative Reporting, it's also called Sleuth.
[Amanda gasps in surprise]
Eric: I... I was very proud of that.
Amanda: Damn, Eric, has the whole campaign led to this?
Eric: Yep.
Amanda: Because if so, makes sense.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: Pretty good.
[Eric giggles]
Eric: I'm gonna revel in this for a second because the problem is... the problem is no one knows where John Press/Gutenberg is. He is fully in the wind. A few times, both superheroes and traditional, like FBI enforcement thought that they cornered him, but once you slap the handcuffs on someone and they dissolve into pixels, it's not actually the real Gutenberg.
Brandon: Classic.
Eric: The other problem is that the District Attorneys in upstate New York and Vermont are both building cases for what happened in the underground water lair for kidnapping and fraud or something and they're not talking to each other. It's quite a problem. Also, the People's River is registered as a church, so that also is causing problems.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: How? Explain.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: I get it. It makes sense.
Amanda: Makes sense.
Eric: Great question. So, Gutenberg and everyone who works for Gutenberg other than, you know -- the literal villains who you beat up and put away like Threadbare and Muncher -- they're gone, but everyone else is kind of still in the wind. Someone who did go down though, was the head of Vitamin M, who also runs Juice that is Olivia Windsorbacon.
[Julia snorts a laugh]
Julia: That's a great name.
Brandon: This is an incredible name and I would want --
Julia: Shout out to Olivia Windsorbacon.
Brandon: Can I play as Olivia from now on?
Eric: No, Brandon. She is my creation and I love her because she spent her entire time on the stand promoting her new... her new Vitamin W products that are supposed to undo all of the bad things that happened and she donates one cent for every time you feel good.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: It's just gonna go out there.
Julia: Is it... is it Vitamin W because that's just an M flipped over?
Eric: Julia, I'm glad you're enjoying my jokes.
Brandon: So, what they did is they went to the shelves and just flipped every product upside down and then said it does the reverse.
Julia: It's all on the labels.
Eric: Yes, exactly. Especially after you --
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: -- all destroyed the Vitamin M distribution factory in Laketown City. They had to start and do something else.
[Brandon huffs a laugh]
Eric: Well, you know, you now, all have a lot of new fans, but Gutenberg also has some fans as well. A lot of people -- a decent bunch of people -- especially on Reddit -- think Gutenberg is really cool because he keeps pushing the idea that, like, human superheroes have flaws when you like a bespoke, flawless superhero to do what you need to be able to save, like, humans. Like, they make mistakes. 150 up votes in our Gutenberg.
[Amanda coos]
Julia: Yikes.
Eric: I will say though, that a lot of you, especially Milo and Aggie, have been getting a lot of attention for coming out and revealing themselves behind the mask.
Brandon: When you're this attractive, both of us, you get a lot of attention for revealing your face to the world, so we get it... we get it.
[Amanda hums in affirmation]
Eric: I will also say that Vulcani your stance are standing harder than ever.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: I mean, like, respecting their boundaries and stuff?
Eric: The Mods are doing a lot of work. I'd like to think that they call themselves The Lava.
Amanda: Right.
Eric: Like, as a collective. They work around with --
Julia: Okay.
Eric: -- Vulcani. Especially in Little Italy and people who respect wearing leather jackets at all times. Strong, very strong, fandom surrounding Vulcani.
Amanda: Is there any kind of venn diagram between people who wear shorts in all seasons and people who wear leather jackets in all seasons? Are they mortal enemies? What's the... what's the relationship here?
Julia: I think honestly, if you're in that middle of that Venn diagram, you fucking rock.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: You do fucking rock. Like, calves out, shoulders covered, prepare for danger, and like great.
Brandon: I think it's a great symbiotic relationship where like --
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: -- you talk to each other.
Eric: I love that.
Amanda: I'll defend your right to have your legs out if you defend mine to cover my arms at all times.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It's like a three-circle diagram -- is people who always wear shorts, people who always wear leather jackets, and Italian grandfather's come together, in the middle is Vulcani.
[Players laugh]
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: I... I didn't come up with it. It's the data. I'm sorry, Julia.
Amanda: I could imagine people being really excited that Vulcani is setting their own boundary of not unmasking. I can see people being like, "Yeah, like, rock on! Like, I respect you. Go you."
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Yes. 100%. I will say that that has led to the people in Laketown City deciding whether or not they reveal their identities or not. For example, Lou Nguyen smartest person in Laketown City has always had their name out there, but Lou knows that she is smarter than everyone else and no one can really put a bead on who they are especially with their face changing technology that they have going. Emily Slaughter, of course, is taking credit for this because Emily Slaughter has always been named outs. Though, Wendy also revealed her last name which is her real name is actually Wendy and her last name is Watzke -- W A T Z K E. But of course, Wendy also says:
Eric (as Wendy Watzke): You know, it's... no one was even following me anyway. And you know, I can't. I'm made out of darkness, so it's cool.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: I like Wendy so much.
Eric: People have tried to get in touch with the Knight of Mirrors, but the Knight of Mirrors just flips them off. Like, go... after going 100 miles per hour. [speeding noise SFX] past them. And everyone else is still kind of on the edge. No one else is willingly revealing their real names at this time.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Classic cowards.
Julia: Excuse you?
[Brandon stutters]
Eric: Julia has reached through the screen and is now holding Brandon by the neck. That's very impressive.
Julia: By the shirt. There's no hand-to-hand contact. No skin contact there.
Eric: I will say someone did change their name. Tuff Stuff is no longer going by Tuff Stuff although not revealing their name because they think that their brand -- their personal brand -- would actually be much better by assigning themselves a nickname. They're going with Hard Body instead.
[Amanda hums]
Julia: Jesus Christ Shannon.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Shannon!
Julia: That's not better. I was like, "Anything will be better than Tuff Stuff. That."
[Amanda and Brandon snickers]
Eric: But Hard Body is now running with the Sommelier. They are superhero-ing together as a unit. Kind of like, just, whoever needs them for hire. They are neither good nor bad. It's just whoever will pay them the most.
Amanda: It's true Girlboss, like, chaotic neutral.
Eric: Yes, but they're doing out in the open because they don't want Emily Slaughter going anywhere near their revenue.
Brandon: Like superhero mercenaries almost kind of thing?
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, they're freelancers/mercenaries.
Brandon: Freelancers, love that.
Eric: Yeah, you -- Brandon, remember in Marvel 1975 issues where they talked about all those freelance?
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Eric: All those freelancing.
Brandon: Captain America was freelance for a while. He's captain of anything you wanted him to be.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Whatever country hires him.
Eric: I will say that I was running this by Amanda, and we decided that if you order a hard body and a sommelier at a diner, it's eggs over hard on burnt toast with grape jelly.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Like, you know those old automat orders where you're like, "Hey, buddy give me, like, Redbox at midnight," and then they'll serve you like a Sunday and an espresso. That's... that's what I think of.
Brandon: I love that.
Julia: Fascinating.
[Amanda hums in agreement]
Eric: It was very funny. I also want to say a lot of people are running for mayor now.
[Amanda huffs a laugh]
Eric: So, what happened last... before is that since Dr. Morrow has abdicated, I guess the mayorship.
Julia: The throne.
Eric: The throne, right. Since Dr. Morrow has abdicated the mayorship, like, Laketown City doesn't know what to do. It's like this idea of elections and, like, an electoral process has been kicked down the road every five years, as we just assumed Dr. Morrow is going to be mayor forever. And when she dies, we'll figure it out. So, there's like no political parties aligned in Laketown City. It's just, like, a lot of people are campaigning, and they still got to figure out when this, like, special election is going to happen. It could be six months from now, it could be two weeks from now. It's very much still up in the air. And a lot of people are just like coming out and running. So, Aunt Min is throwing her hat in the ring. Byron Zorn obviously has started campaigning immediately after hearing that Dr. Morrow went down. Hank Lane, who definitely wanted to do this and wasn't pushed to do this in any sort of way. Councilman Burdock, obviously getting in the mix on an anti-powered campaign. Brian Roper also has decided to be a part of it as even as an ancillary council person. They're still in the mix. And there's also, like, a bunch of people you haven't heard of, like someone who has 12 cats is, like, in there and being like, "Cats need to be more respected in Laketown City and I'm running on the feline party. It's... it's a kiddie party."
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: Can we discuss as a group at some point getting Brian Roper eliminated from the competition because we do have witnesses that he was at the underwater lair?
Amanda: Yeah, fully in the People's River.
Julia: Yes. Fully, probably being investigated for crimes, so probably shouldn't be running for mayor.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I think maybe Hank's party is, like, the humanist party, but there's, like, a super in front of it and parentheses.
Amanda: Cute.
Brandon: In stylization.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: To superhumans party, as opposed to, like, the anti-superhuman party of Burdock.
Eric: After a few weeks, everyone who's running for mayor gets an email and says, "There are no parties. Stop saying you're part of a Party."
Julia: You can have platforms, you don't have to have a party.
[Eric snickers]
Eric: We've done a little bit of a time jump here. I just -- I want to check in with all three of you and I guess we'll start with Milo. Milo, how is a... how is advising Hank Lanes mayoral campaign going?
Brandon (as Milo): Oh, I'm not advising that because I want to make sure that there's a separation between -- one of Hank Lane’s most important thing is meritocracy, right? So, like, I want to make sure to one, that just because I'm his son doesn't mean I get special treatment. And two, there needs to be a separation. He's running on the separation of superhumans and government. So, Hank wants to make sure that, like, no one thinks that he has the superheroes as his own, like, personal security force, sort of all on Dr. Mayor Morrow did. But I think the campaign is going very well. And obviously, Milo is campaigning for his father, but he's not necessarily in the party.
Eric: What are you doing to campaign for Hank Lane?
Brandon (as Milo): You know, hit up all the major spots. Go into all the Astros on Friday nights, buying everyone bowling balls, doing lots of cool little magic tricks to show off.
Eric: I love that this is the equivalent of, like, all the cool bands playing for Bernie Sanders.
Brandon: Yeah, absolutely.
Eric: It's like... it's like the Strokes are here, and so is Kilonova.
[Brandon and Julia hums in agreement]
Brandon: I love that. And he's also have been sort of trying to drum up support and public approval for this idea of, like, a big brothers, big sisters for superheroes that Vulcani and others are -- wanted to start.
Eric: For sure. I think that the one big thing that Hank did to show you that he was serious, because, you know, you woke him up. And then, he was basically like dad tired for, like, three days afterwards, because you woke him up in the middle of REM sleep. The main thing that he did is that he stepped down from his job at the Office of Technology Assessment.
Brandon: You got it.
Eric: So, he's like:
Eric (as Hank): You know what, if I'm going, I want to show everyone I don't have the same secrets as Dr. Morrow, so I'm going to step down from this and I'm going to give up my clearance. And if they want me back after if... if I don't end up winning, which hopefully I do, because I definitely want to do this.
Amanda: Now.
Eric (as Hank): Now as greatness is thrust upon me. I... I want to make sure people don't think I'm -- I have secrets. I'm not everyone's dad but if they want me to be their dad, I could be. Hey, Laketown City, do you want to go to the ball game with me?
[Amanda chuckles]
Brandon: God, that's a good slogan!
Amanda: So cute!
Julia: What's our minor league baseball team? Hold on, this is important.
Eric: Oh man. Absolutely.
Amanda: The Oysters.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: I love that.
Julia: Alright.
Amanda: It's no mountain lobsters but they're an important part of the, you know, underwater ecosystem.
Eric: I like that. I wonder if they want to do something that's not water-based because that's, like, the hockey team does that.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: They can have the same colors though. I think it's a very much like a Pittsburgh thing.
Brandon: Yeah, their town Laketown City doesn't want to do anything aquatic.
[Amanda and Julia laughs]
Amanda: It's possible. It could be the evergreens.
Eric: Yeah, I was thinking of the forest.
Brandon: I like the evergreens. That's cool too.
Julia: Yeah, I'm digging the evergreens.
Brandon: What about the leaf peepers?
Julia: No.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: It's pretty bad.
Amanda: Pretty good. Little touristy.
Eric: They changed their name to the leaf peepers on the first day of fall. And then they have alternate jerseys where it's red, yellow, and orange.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: It's pretty good.
Julia: That's great.
Eric: I like a pink and a dark --
Amanda: Peep. Peep. Peep.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: That's the chant.
Julia: Peep. Peep. Peep.
Eric: Oh, my god, I forgot what I was... I totally forgot what I was saying.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Sorry.
Brandon: I think it's also important to note that Tuna has become the campaign mascot for Hank.
Eric: People would like, people would think Hank -- Tuna is, like, Hank's cat. It's just, like, ambiguous whether or not Tuna is a ghost or not because Tuna is just -- now can, like, just appear at will. So, it's just like:
Eric (as Tuna): I'm helping. I like the people.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: And like, when tuna slowly saunters onto stage people just go wild.
Amanda: Yeah. Hank can't accept gifts but Tuna sure can.
[Brandon and Eric laughs]
Julia: Tuna is not a political entity.
Brandon: Oh no. Maybe Tuna's ego has gotten even bigger.
Amanda: Probably.
Eric: I love the idea of there being, like, a full, like, bluefin tuna that's been caught and given to Hank for Tuna. And there's, like, pack, checks stuffed inside them for Tuna. And he is, like, take it out and throw it out being like:
Eric (as Hank): I'm not taking these and then tossing the tuna to Tuna.
Brandon: Hank doesn't take pack money Hank only does small donor donations.
Eric (as Tuna): I'm def -- you can definitely coerce me.
[Players laugh]
Amanda: But I can vote on my cat.
Eric (as Tuna): I can -- Also, I'm dead but don't tell anybody.
Brandon: Tuna has a super paw? Is that something?
Eric: Pretty good.
Amanda: That's pretty good.
Eric: That's pretty good.
Amanda: I think he's a shoe leather about baseball glove leather that Hank is really just hitting the pavement, you know. Throwing some balls. Playing catch with some kids.
Brandon: They like it.
Amanda: Kids can't vote but the parents can.
[Brandon snickers]
Eric: Aggie, remind me how many siblings do you have?
Amanda: It's Aggie, Danny, Aaron, Regan, Ryan, Kelly, Quinn.
Eric: So, you --
Amanda: Me + 6.
Eric: You + 6. Last session, you rolled a deception check for if the other O'Hare siblings had superpowers. Something that your paramour Tegan Murphy had reported on obliquely and there was a certain paper trail. You rolled a 19. Please roll a D6 for me.
Julia: Which sibling is gonna be revealed?
Amanda: 1.
Eric: Oh, good fucking roll.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Does that mean it's Danny or Quinn? Is it Danny or Quinn?
Eric: I... I will give it. I'll give this to you. D1 of your siblings has their powers revealed. Who is it?
Amanda: It's Danny. And he's like, "Yeah, it's art. What do you want?
[Eric laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, my art moves people. What do you want from me?
Eric: I love that. Like it's on New York Times.
Amanda: You want your fellowship back? Have it. It's art. You're welcome.
[Julia snickers]
Eric: I love that there's, like, a New York Times Sunday, like, magazine report on it being, like, "The two oldest O'Hare siblings have powers but the rest don't. And while Aggie O'Hare aka Multitool uses that power in Laketown City, Danny O'Hare uses it to look inside of ourselves." And there's, like, a whole thing. Yeah. Danny says it'd be like, "It's art. I don't." I think he also plays it, like, a little obliquely. I think that he, because he can't actually describe what it is that happens when he paints is like, yeah, all artists go into their mindscape and then paints what they do. I just do that.
Amanda: Like how am I any different? Yeah.
Eric: And sometimes it reveals the future. What?
Amanda: Yeah, like I mean, I'm sure too that they can dig up examples of, like, reviews of his from over the years of people saying like, there's just something different about seeing it in person, you know. Or like, something about this piece connects with me. And he's like, "I haven't deceived anybody. I... I make the thing you buy that. Like, what... what do you want?" And if anything, I'm sure the value of his work just goes up.
Eric: If my superpower was frescoes, you wouldn't have a problem with it.
[Players laugh]
Eric: 100%. I think its value goes up. And the other of your siblings, for now, no one else's powers are revealed. I think they buy it if... if Danny is like, "Hey, do you have superpowers?" And he's like, "Yes, I have to drive my kids to school go away."
Julia: They're so smart.
Amanda: They're so smart and so little.
Eric: Ryan does text you like a lot. Like, on a Sunday morning, Ryan texts you, like, 20 times in a row, worried that he's gonna get revealed and then calls you, like, five times in a row.
Amanda: Okay, so let's review. What is Ryan's power?
Eric: Ryan's powers is he has gills.
Amanda: Right. But he -- I mean, he hasn't used it because all of his competitions are captured in, like, 4k slow mo. I think he's probably worried that people could bring it up and it could impact, like, his medals or something like that but...
Eric: Yeah, you get, like, a lot of text. It's just like.
Eric (as Ryan): Oh, wow, I can't believe you didn't think of anyone else when you decided to do that. What about all my medals, and all of my world records and all my X-Games medals, which are more important than Olympic medals?
Julia: Fair enough.
Amanda (as Aggie): Ryan, you... you literally almost outed me as having a power when I did not talk about having a power when that article came out.
Eric (as Ryan): What? I didn't do that. What do you mean? That didn't happen.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, Ryan.
Eric (as Ryan): You know what, it's a good thing I've been doing so much long training that I don't need these gills, so don't tell people that. So, it's fine. Even if you did, actually, it's fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): Do you want to talk about Marissa Gold the summer before Middle School? Because we can definitely -- we can talk about that. She's very famous now, Ryan. That'd be very embarrassing if all your poems were to come out, you know?
[Brandon gasps]
Eric (as Ryan): No, Aggie! Stop. And then tries to call you.
Amanda: I don't pick up.
Eric (as Ryan): Aggie, no! Stop!
Julia: Sibling blackmail, Aggie.
Amanda: It's a whole new... a whole new world -- whole new page.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Hey and like, what's going on with Val?
Julia: Uh.
Eric: I guess is the question I have for you, Julia.
Julia: That's a... That's a great question. Can we, like, flashback to the end of summer where Val and Hitomi are finally moving in together into their new apartment?
Eric: Sure. That sounds wonderful. I think that as you finally moved into your new apartment, Hitomi is carrying, like, oversized boxes, but then and she's like, "Oh, it's so heavy. Oh," and she puts them down and you look and there's, like, one book in it. You're like, "Look, I'm strong like you."
Julia (as Val): It's okay. Not a lot of people are strong like me.
Amanda: But her wingspan is so impressive.
Julia: It is. It truly is.
Brandon: Her bones are hollow, I think. Are bird bones hollow?
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: They are.
Eric: Yes, they are.
Brandon: Her bones are hollow!
Julia (as Val): Bird bones. So, I think Val, like, once all of the boxes are moved into the apartment is just like, "Hey, so like, I just want to have a quick conversation with you before we just, like, officially are fully moved in here now."
Eric (as Hitomi): I'm glad that you brought this up. Val you snore.
Julia (as Val): That is fair, and we can get a white noise machine or something like that if that is something that bothers you. You also sleep very heavily, so I'm not sure it's, like, too much of a problem so long as you go asleep before me.
Eric (as Hitomi): Mmh, mmh, good point. Good point. I did want to make you aware of those little breathe stri -- the Breathe Right strips just to see what you would say. But you actually had a important thing you wanted to say and I deflected. Go ahead.
Julia (as Val): That's okay. That's another thing we could discuss after this conversation. So, you remember that press conference that happened a while ago where, like, a bunch of superheroes revealed their superpowers?
Eric (as Hitomi): Mmh, yeah, no, I got a shirt that had Multitool on it. I'm having it forwarded to the new apartment, but it's like, her arms... her arms are on top of the shirt.
Garbled talking:
Eric (as Hitomi): So, it makes you look like you have stretchy arms.
Brandon: Is that official merch or is that unlicensed?
Eric: Brandon, it's on RedBubble, what do you think?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: So, someone made that art and then someone tweeted underneath it. "I wish this was the shirt."
[Amanda and Eric laugh]
Julia: Val was like, very much like, "Alright, don't be jealous. Don't be jealous. It's fine. It's fine."
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): So yeah, you remember Multitool revealed herself to be... to be a certain person who have -- you've met before. And then also --
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): -- Kilonova revealed himself to be another person that you've met before?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Remember we went to that Christmas party a while ago.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): And then we had the perfect spring day.
Eric (as Hitomi): And Aggie's sister knows Taylor Swift. That was cool. I love that.
Julia (as Val): That was cool. So, like, do you remember the third person who didn't reveal their superpowers and secret identity? They're in front of that big audience?
Eric (as Hitomi): Could you look, like, describe them to me? I can't.
[Val laughs]
Amanda: Val is sweating.
Julia (as Val): No, Val just goes: "They're about my height, my build, and have a similar haircut to me and also wear a leather jacket.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): Yes, similar... similar style, hangs out in similar places.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric (as Hitomi): Both of you really love Little Italy.
Brandon: Never seen you two in the same room.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: You saved them.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, both you punch really hard.
Julia (as Val): Okay, I know you're not a stupid person but I did just want to give you an out in case you didn't want to move in with a superhero. That's all.
Eric (as Hitomi): And I wanted to give you an out for when you were actually going to tell me, but you really led me down the garden path.
Julia (as Val): I really tried to.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah. Yeah, I... Listen, I don't. Did you really think that your mom had new recipes she needed to run by you that many times?
Julia (as Val): You know it's -- that's not always what an Italian emergency means. Sometimes it's, like, someone has to come scrub this pot, and I don't have the arm strength to really get into it and get all the stains out, you know?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, the first time that I was worried, and then you sent me a photo of you scrubbing a pot really hard, I thought I was wrong, but now I've kind of put it together.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, you know, I feel like if I was more concerned about what your reaction would have been that I would have come up with better excuses.
Eric (as Hitomi): Mhmm.
Julia (as Val): Like, subconsciously, I feel like I was probably giving you really shitty excuses.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Because I wanted you to know.
Eric (as Hitomi): Sure. So, I guess I wasn't really worried, because I know Vulcani can take a punch but --
Julia (as Val): That's true.
Eric (as Hitomi): -- how many punches are you taking on behalf of, I guess, like, is your job just getting punched in the face? Because that's scary.
Julia (as Val): My job is getting punched in the face, but it's also punching people back. And it's my job to make sure that the squishier members of my team --
Brandon: Rude!
Julia: -- can do the things that they need to do while I do those punches.
Eric (as Hitomi): You can just say Milo, he's not here.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I mean, Milo.
[Eric snorts a laugh]
Brandon: He gets me to work it out. He's not that squishy anymore.
Julia (as Val): But the good thing is Milo's got ghost powers, which is life and death, I guess. And so, whenever I get punched a lot, he can help make me feel better with his ghost cat.
Brandon: Not if he knows you called him squishy.
Julia: Well, he's not here. Thankfully.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: He's not in this scene here.
Brandon: You hear the Ghost of Milo.
Eric (as Hitomi): Hitomi looks around and be like, "Wow, we're really talking a lot of shit about Milo. I'm glad he's not here.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Hitomi): No one's listening to us.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): Now I know. It's... it's fine. You didn't have to tell me and --
Julia (as Val): No, but I wanted to.
Eric (as Hitomi): Okay, well, I'm glad you did. Its -- I -- you know, like, I feel -- like I said, I figured it out, but now you told me and I'm gonna worry anyway. But now you know, I'm worrying, right?
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): So, just come back in one piece and don't, like, I don't know, switch bodies with someone else and become a villain or something.
Julia (as Val) What? That's a weird assumption that you would make about how my life goes. I was stuck in a time loop at one point.
Eric (as Hitomi): Doesn't feel... it doesn't feel like that much of an assumption to me.
[Brandon snickers]
Julia (as Val): Okay, you know what, I kind of realized that as I said it.
Eric: Hitomi reaches back and grabs one of the boxes that she brought in, and she opens it up and there's, like, some, like, 1990s pulpy comic books about Dr. Morrow.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): And she's like, "I got these off of eBay because I want... thought I wanted to get... figure out what was this. And they, you know, and actually in issue 12 Dr. Morrow switches. Dr. [laughs] Dr. Morrow switches, souls with Mecca Stalin, and I was worried that would happen to you so...
Julia (as Val): Uh, that is a fair assumption. She has told me multiple times that they took some liberties with those comic books, but I can't say for certain which liberties were taken to be quite honest with you.
Brandon: She also said they didn't take enough liberties.
Eric (as Hitomi): I mean, speaking of, so what -- have you talked to her at all? Is this like a breakup? Like...
Julia (as Val): With Dr. Morrow?
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): I don't think it's a breakup necessarily. I think it's more like, "Hey, you made some bad calls in the past, and now we kind of have to figure out what our relationship is like. We're, like, taking a step back from each other and reevaluating what the situation is.
Eric (as Hitomi): Hmm, sure. Sure.
Julia (as Val): She's also, like, not the mayor anymore, so --
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah, no that's --
Julia (as Val): -- she kind of do whatever the fuck she wants.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah. Should I vote for Milo's dad?
Julia (as Val): Uh, probably? Don't vote for my aunt.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Fair. No, no, that's fair. That's fair.
Julia (as Val): I do like that lady with all the cats though. She's got a lot of things to say.
Eric (as Hitomi): I know! I really did like the cat party.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric (as Hitomi): Though, I'm voting cat party all the way down.
[Amanda giggles]
Eric (as Hitomi): You know this... Listen, I appreciate you telling me and it was gonna be on your own time. I wasn't going to put you on it, but we will need to take some photos together and you will need to dramatically save me from a burning spaghetti cart.
Julia (as Val): Obviously. I'll find a photographer.
Eric (as Hitomi): Great. Thanks.
Brandon: Eric. I wish there were spaghetti carts. Holy shit!
Eric: There you go.
Julia: There are in Little Italy in Laketown city.
Amanda: They get some a little bird nest with stuff in them.
Eric: Yeah, like a little cone like --
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -- when you get a crepe. But it's a... you can --
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Hitomi): Yeah. I think that Hitomi wraps her arms around your neck and kisses you and says "When you're locked out, just don't punch the door in."
Julia (as Val): I'm getting really good at finding keys.
[Amanda, Brandon, and Eric laugh]
Eric: It's true. Yeah, you did buy five fake rocks and you just threw them all over the front.
Julia: Which is weird because they're all inside.
Brandon: Your entire, like, outdoor patio is all fake rocks like in a rock garden?
Julia: No, no, the problem is, Brandon, we don't have an outdoor patio. It's just locks in the hallways.
Amanda: I think we flash forward to, like, four months from now when Aggie, like, bedraggled, like, sleep hair is stretching Val onto their own fire escape.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: She's like, "I said I can't lose my keys. Fuck!" And Aggie's like, "Ugh, I just want to go back to sleep."
Julia: No, Aggie. if you just let me in the building somehow, I'll go into one of the fake rocks in the hallway and I'll find one of the keys.
Amanda: Yeah. Aggie like flattens her hand under, like, the gap in the front door.
Julia (as Val): Thank you, Aggie.
Brandon: We flash forward another four months later and Milo's come over and he turns himself into a gaseous cloud to go under your door to get the fake rock and get the key.
Julia (as Val): Why do I keep losing my keys?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Tuna): Tuna just walked through the door and being like, "What are we doing?"
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Hell yes. That was at the end of summer. We're moving forward into October. Hey, I didn't forget about your fame modifier. Do you remember that?
Brandon: What?
Julia: Oh yes.
Eric: Rude to all of you. So, we... we talked about the fame modifier a little bit as people know you, but I would think that we've kind of reshuffled the deck here about what to do about the fame modifier. Here is how I see it. Aggie and Milo at all times, if there is a person looking at you, you can add +2 to your roll for fame.
[Amanda exclaims in excitement]
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Vulcani, you can also add +2 to fame but Val cannot, and Vulcani you need to, like, when you're not in Little Italy, you need to, like, be around the two more famous superheroes to activate your fame modifier as well.
Julia: Wow, rude.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: At the same time, though, if you want to do something, like, secretive that people don't see, you will need to hide things away. Either with stealth checks or sleight of hand checks depending on what... when it calls for. And you won't get that fame modifier bonus but people will see you doing it, which can cause some of their own problems there.
Brandon: So, if we, you know, are in public, and we try to snatch a something out of someone's hands, will we take a negative to our roll or just a more difficulty see or bolster?
Eric: You won't have the bonus. The DC itself will be the same, but if you fail, regardless of whether you fail or succeed, I think people someone might see you still.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Eric: And that might cause problems for you in the future.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Amanda: And I think, speaking of fame, Eric, do you know who's really fucking stoked that Aggie is now publicly out as Multitool and in fact relocated around the globe to take advantage of their proximity to their oldest daughter's fame.
Eric: Oh, no.
Brandon: Oh no!
Julia: No!
Eric: Your parents?
Amanda: My parents very moved back to Laketown City.
Eric: Oh, no
Julia: Oh, fucking yikes.
Eric: Okay, here's a good question. How do you find that out?
Amanda (as Aggie): They wake me up at, like, 7:30 one morning by coming in and rifling under my sink to, like, get my tools because they have to, like, hang up a tapestry that they bought in Tibet.
Eric: That's incredible, because of course they have your keys, right?
Amanda: Oh, yeah. They, like, got it from Quinn when they met her when she, like, met them at the airport where they, like, stopped by her apartment first and then they took the train up something like that.
Eric: Make a wisdom check for me.
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda: That's for sure a 4.
Eric: Okay.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Yikes.
Eric: Aggie, you wake up suddenly, because you hear someone rifling around in your kitchen.
Amanda: So, part of how Aggie can move so quickly as Multitool is that she can just take big old stretchy steps.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: And so, in this case, like, she's like, lying on her back, sleeping and Pete the dog is crawled up next to her.
Eric: Of course.
Amanda: Abd doesn't care about strangers. Just cares if they have pizza. And so, she, like, jolts awake, stretches out her arms to grip the doorway, stretches out her leg 15 feet in front of her to pull herself like a slingshot into the main room of the bungalow.
Eric: Incredible. Make a dexterity check for me.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 9.
Eric: 9. Make an attack roll.
Amanda: Okay. That's a 10.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Stretch and die.
Eric: No, you're lucky that you did a 10, because as you stretch forward with the dexterity check was how you were able to control yourself as you --
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: -- burst into the room, but with a 9, I think you sling yourself forward because you're like, "Oh, Gutenberg's minions are in my kitchen ready to get me," and you're just ready to, like, fly through. You fly through the kitchen and go right in between your mom and your dad. And your mom is holding, like, a hammer and a tapestry and your dad is holding a piece of bread.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Great.
Eric: You just, like, you fly in between them and, like, slam into your kitchen cabinet on the other side.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Your dad's like [choking noises]. He's choking on the bread --
Amanda: Oh no,
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): -- because he was eating. Your mom's like, "Aggie, please!"
Amanda (as Aggie): Mom! What are you doing here?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): I needed to get some tools. We didn't have any in our new home, in the new house that we just moved into.
Amanda (as Aggie): You know what I mean. What are you doing physically here in Laketown city?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Oh, you know we talked... we had talked about it. And first of all, say, hi to your father. [coughs violently]
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Pete has run in and is eating the bread from the floor.
Eric (as Aggie’s dad): Hey, sport!
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): We moved in just a little while over there and thank God. You weren't gonna -- you didn't tell us you were Multitool.
Amanda (as Aggie): I told the entire world in, like, a very emotional and unplanned moment of... of revealing myself in my identity.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Well, I'm very glad that it was unplanned because not telling your mother before such an important announcement feels um, you know, other mothers might be a little offended by that but I'm not. It's -- I'm not so...
Amanda (as Aggie): Mom, why would you bring up the fact that you're not offended if you're not actually offended?
Eric (as Aggie’s dad): [Clears throat] She's not offended. I gotta sit down.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): I'm just -- I'm not -- I'm not. So, tell us everything. Tell us. What's Vulcani like in real life?
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm brushing my teeth. Aggie turns around and goes to the bathroom, grips the sink, stares at herself. Like, "What choices have I made to bring myself to this moment?"
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It would have been so much worse if Gutenberg's goons were here.
Amanda (as Aggie): I would have preferred that so much more. And I think whilst in the bathroom, she texts Quinn like, "SOS How does mom have your keys?"
Eric: Quinn responds with three shrugging emojis.
[Amanda groans in frustration]
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Your mom calls out to you while you're in the bathroom and says, "You know, it's funny. I... I didn't know that there were so many superpowered fol -- super powered individuals running around Laketown city. Just on the drive up here, there was an accident that was being cleared out by someone with, I guess, big, big old arms, I guess is the only thing I'd say. And I saw someone else restoring electricity to... to a building that didn't have any. Do you know these? Are they your friends? Should I have said hi?"
Amanda (as Aggie): Never say hi to a superhero. They're probably doing something dangerous. What? Tell me more about them. What do you mean big arms? Were they like metal arms? Were they... were they flesh arms?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Yeah, yeah. Just really. [stutters] Aggie, I just want to say this first. You know I'm not someone to think... to make a judgment about their character, just from the way that they look but...
Amanda (as Aggie): Mom I'm literally asking you to describe their physical characteristics, so I might be able to, like, know who these people are.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): They have big arms! They have big arms. What do you want? They have big arms. And the other person was made out of pure electricity, I guess.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, great. No, I don't know who they are. What... what exit was this at?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Oh, wait, see, I do, I have her name. Her name is Alice. Do you know Alice? Electricity powers.
Amanda (as Aggie): We just talked about not saying hi to any superhero under any circumstances, mom.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Oh, they gave me... they gave me a card. She gives you a card it says... it says Alice! Power for you.
[Amanda laughs]
Amanda: That's really cute. What? Did it say, like an address or phone number?
Eric: Yeah, there's a phone number on it.
Amanda: Is it this area code? 518?
Eric: It is. And also, there's an email that's Alice at aliceforyou.com.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm gonna put that in my... in the pocket of my flannel pajamas. I'd say, "That is actually really interesting. I... I will look them up. But yeah, yeah, I mean, it's a... it's a very, it's a different time. Like, when this started, it was very, you know, clandestine. It was the first project of its kind. I couldn't tell anyone for fear of, you know, making them unsafe. But it's... it's different now. Like, that whole kind of thing was Gutenberg, you know, we... we didn't have the option to stay... to stay quiet, like, it... it was put into the public without our... our choice. So, I made the decision to kind of embrace that identity because, you know, this is what I'm doing with my life now.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Sure, sure. You know what, is there, like, a Yelp for... for powered people? Because Alice wasn't very good.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Why not?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Well, you know the electricity in the building went on but the electricity around all the buildings around it went off. And I think that that was a problem. Per the guy with the big arms, great though. Very good.
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, yeah?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): 10/10.
Amanda (as Aggie): Did he have a card?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): No, he was just -- bad big arms.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay. So, where are you living?
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Alright. Well, I have to go. We have a lot that we have to do. Come on. Let's go.
Amanda (as Aggie): You can't just move here and, like, interrupt my life and like...
Eric (as Aggie’s dad): [clears throat] We'll talk to you. Well, come over some time.
Amanda (as Aggie): Convenient dad.
Eric (as Aggie’s mom): Okay, bye. I'm taking this.
Amanda (as Aggie): Aggie watches the door close. Looks around. It's like her curtain stop waving in the breeze and it leaves and then just, like, plunks her head down at her kitchen counter. "Fuck."
Brandon: Seems like maybe Aggie's mom has a crush on big arms guy.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: He had big arms.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Big arms --
Julia: If only you know.
Eric: -- you know?
[Midroll SFX pings]
Eric: Hey, it's Eric. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday; it is kind of like the celebration of Fall that we have done all of the fall things and we are bundling up for winter. It's kinda like the pre-gathering before the winter holidays and the long winter begins. And I hope everyone had fun. I know sometimes holidays are tough but, you know, maybe you cook something great, maybe you hung out with your friends, maybe you just got a chance not to get any work emails for a few days. I hope it went well. Happy Thanksgiving! Welcome to the midroll. I made you a leftover sandwich. Mmmmmm. Hey, well, what are you cooking over there? Did you make me a sandwich? Or do you still have some pie you're getting out of your system? You're making, like, a pecan or something? Wait. No, it smells like, oh, it smells like the incredible new merch from Join the Party. You got to get your new pins the TIME SHARK the PET PILE of all the new pets of Campaign 2. And the CAMPAIGN 2 JOIN THE PARTY LOGO in its black and green glory. We also have a new sticker where you introduce yourself -- your name -- and also, HELLO, MY SUPERPOWER IS, so people will introduce their superpowers as well. So, you can use that for galas, bar mitzvahs, any other family gathering and more. No joke. Shout out to Porkchop for convincing his work to buy 25 of these stickers for a real on-site training. We stan a legend. Pick up the pins and the new sticker at jointhepartypod.com/merch. Make sure to grab them soon so that they'll be there for whatever winter holiday you choose. And its already Hanukkah, so you might be behind. Get your merch now; jointhepartypod.com/merch. Thank you to all of our patrons and all of you who've joined us recently. I'm actually recording this in the past, so I don't have all the patrons who signed up but we're gonna double up on the next episode, but we deeply, deeply appreciate all of you. 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[Midroll SFX pings]
Eric: Alright, I think that if we turn the page in the comic book.
Brandon: What does that sound like?
[Creaking noises]
[Amanda hums in wonder]
Eric: Sorry, someone has to oil this comic book.
Julia: Geez, it's real old.
Eric: We had to turn of the comic book. We have a group of friends driving kind of, like, an old beat-up station wagon across Highway One. Like, you see the outside of a beautiful Fall Day. Some leaves, like, fluttering onto Highway One. And inside, the driver -- there's like, a speech bubble that says:
Eric (as Driver): So, who do you think would win in a fight, Emily Slaughter or Vulcani?
Julia: Vulcani all the way!
Eric (as Driver’s friend): Well, Vulcani is super strong and I think that that's much better than anything else that Emily Slaughter could throw out.
Eric (as Driver): Um, you seem to be forgetting that Emily Slaughter has incredible anime sword powers. And I think that it'll be pretty cool. Obviously, also, Emily Slaughter -- everyone knows her name. So, obviously she's not afraid of anything.
Eric (as Driver’s friend): Um, this isn't Super Smash Brothers. Just because you have a sword doesn't make you better than everyone else.
Eric: And as they are pulling off on an exit going to Weston, you see that the driver of the car leans, like, leans over the shoulder to talk about Super Smash Bros Melee. And like, the next panel below, he turns back, you see that a television screen has kind of zipped up in front of the windshield. And it's kind of just, like, some blocky figurines. Like.
Eric (in an automated voice): Don't worry, it's all gonna be over soon. Thanks to Gutenberg.
[Crashing noises]
Eric: As the car creams over to the right and drives right into a electrical pole with, like, telephone wires, things snap. It falls down, hits a transformer, explodes into fire. And at that point, the LT3 run onto the scene. Everyone please make a Perception check for me as you survey the damage.
Julia: 9.
Brandon: Well, good to know my new set of dice is the same as my old. 3 + 9 for 12.
Julia: Geez.
Amanda: I got a 6 but I'm gonna reroll with a luck point to 17.
Eric: 17. Wonderful. For Vulcani and for Kilonova, the two things that are happening here; this car is stuck underneath the power line. The power line has fallen over on top of the car. The like, electrical wires are kind of, like, flailing wildly around. It's kind of just, like... like a dangerous snake and is going to hurt someone if someone doesn't do something about it. It's also the explosion of the transformer has also caught the building next door to go up in flames. Those are the two things that you see there. Aggie with a... with a 17, there is a sky tram line that is crossing over kind of the disaster zone here and there is a sky tram actually coming towards the scene. You don't know if the wires are compromised or if they're in danger, but it is still currently moving forward.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Here's what I will tell you. Each of these problems take multiple successes to fix them. That is all the information that you have. You can work on them all together, each of you gets one action. So, this is kind of like a skill challenge, but it's kind of, like, do whatever you want. It's free jazz, y'all.
[Amanda and Brandon giggles]
Eric: What do you do to save people from this disaster?
Amanda (as Aggie): I can take the tram.
Julia (as Val): So, I want to remove the guys from the car and hopefully move the electrical lines to a safer location.
Eric: Sure, what do you do?
Julia (as Val): I'm going to go into a rage.
Eric: Sounds like a good idea.
Amanda: Vulcani hates car accidents.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, Vulcani hates car accidents. It's the worst. Yeah, so I'll go into a rage. What I'm going to do is I'm going to, like, try to first; I guess, like, pull up and then put to the side the actual electrical pole itself.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: So that one, it's out of the way and two, I can get these guys out of the car once I need to.
Eric: Hell yeah. Please make a dexterity saving throw as the electrical wire is kind of, like, flail in your direction.
Julia: Cool. I get danger sense so I get advantage on that.
Eric: Yes, you do.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: I also have monk evasion, so I'm going to bring some of the bodies out too.
Julia: 18 first. Alright, so an 18 + 1 so a 19.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: I was gonna give you guidance, but I don't think you need it.
Julia: I think I'm okay.
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm gonna run behind Vulcani and start pulling the people out as they're moving the pole away.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I want to see if I can lift it as high as I can just to get the electrical lines off the --
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: -- the ground so it makes it easier for you to pull them out safely.
Amanda: That'd be great.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright. Vulcani, you take 13 points of electrical damage.
Julia: That's nothing.
Eric: Yeah, you're fine. It’s, like, you get tagged by the electrical wire as it, like, wildly like, you know, it's shaking around randomly. And I think it hits you a little bit, but nothing that you can't stand up to as, you know, the... the person who takes punches in the face from big people all the time. You are able to move past the electrical wires and make a strength check to move the telephone pole.
Julia: You got it, bro. Glad I have advantage on those in a rage because that was a Nat 1 for the first roll, and then a 16 + 8, so a 24.
Eric: Hell yes. Yeah, you dramatically -- [grunts] -- yeah, lift the telephone pole from on top of the old station wagon.
Amanda: At that moment, I would love to reach into the car and pull out the two people who are closest to me.
Eric: Cool. Also, make a dexterity saving throw for me.
Amanda: That's an 11.
Eric: An 11. You're so lucky. Please take 17 points of electric damage. I rolled so bad. I rolled so bad the damage 1 2 2 3 4 5. Incredible.
Amanda: On D6s?
Eric: On D6s. That was 66 electrical damage. That was incredible.
Julia: Good job dice.
Amanda: Well.
Eric: Yeah?
Amanda: Because of my monk evasion, I'm actually gonna take half that so...
Eric: Fuck me! God damn it.
Amanda: 9 points of damage.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, take 9 points of damage. You stretch your way in what does it look like?
Amanda: I think I'm just gonna yank open the doors and pull those two guys out. And then I'll stretch my arms behind me to, like, move them away from the car as fast as possible, so I can stretch back and get the third one.
Eric: Sure. Make another dexterity check. I think that as you're doing that, yeah, once again the electrical wire tags you as well but, you know, electricity, and wire, and rubber. Who would have thought?
[Julia laughs]
Amanda: I got a Nat 1, so I'm gonna reroll, less point.
[Eric hums in agreement]
Julia: Do it.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: That's a Nat 20.
[Amanda and Eric laughs]
Eric: Hell yes. Nat 20, I think you tried to grab two. The third guy hops onto his friends back and you're able to... to grab all of them out of there.
Amanda: Great.
Eric (as Driver): One of them says, "Oh no, actually, Aggie's the best. Aggie would beat everyone in the fight."
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): What? Get out of here.
Julia (as Val): Hey, fucking rude.
Eric (as Driver): Could you think... you could beat Emily Slaughter in a fight?
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh my god, of course.
Eric (as Driver): Nice. I knew it.
Brandon: Okay. I think what I'm gonna do is call forth a Earth Elemental.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Because as we all know from Pokemon rules, Earth does not take much thunder damage which is actually true in D&D too.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: And I'm just gonna ask it to go and wrangle the power cable and get it under control at least while we take care of the other stuff.
Eric: That sounds great. What spell is that?
Brandon: It's called Conjure Elemental. It is a 5th level spell.
Eric: Love it. I love 5th levels spells. Roll on your... on your doohickey for me.
Brandon: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: It's an 8 sum up to 3.
Eric: Wonderful.
Amanda (as Aggie): It's like, "Hey, little Sandshrew. Could you take care of his Livewire for me please?
[Brandon hums in affirmation]
Julia (as Val): Thank you.
Eric: As Kilonova is pulling this Earth Elemental into being, you see out of the corner of your eye that a screen kind of zips in front of you. And I'm going to roll something really quick.
Julia: I hate when you do that.
Eric: It turns around and you see that there is a literally... like an image of a printing press, like, engraved in the back of the screen. As it turns around, like, it seems to be, like, propelled on its own. Like, there's a little drone underneath it as it flips in front of you.
Amanda (as Aggie): Gutenberg didn't even invent printing, Arabs were doing it centuries before.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): The Chinese invented Movable Type. Not Gutenberg.
Eric: Brandon, please make an intelligence saving throw for me.
Brandon: It's a 4 + 5 for 9.
Eric: With a 9, okay. So, as the screen flicks in front of you, the screen then shows, like, a slideshow of a panther running around Laketown City. And it's kind of, like, has the images of, like, a negative attack ad. Where it's like, [in an altered voice] "You wouldn't trust Kilonova to save you because he created a panther and ran around Laketown City. Seems bad, right Milo?"
Brandon: That dirty son of a bitch.
Eric: Please make a concentration check for the Earth Elemental for you to hold on to it.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: Yip. Come on, big money.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: 6!
Eric: With a 6.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Alright, Brandon. Here's what happens when you lose concentration on conjured elemental.
Brandon: I'm aware. But for the audience, let's tell them.
Eric: Yeah. If your concentration is broken, the elemental doesn't disappear. Instead, you lose control of the elemental. It becomes hostile towards you and your companions and it might attack.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Hey.
Eric: An uncontrolled elemental can't be dismissed by you and it disappears one hour after you summon it.
Julia: Brandon, what the fuck?
Brandon: I didn't do it. It was Eric. I have full control over it until the jerk attacker ad.
Amanda: It was a great use of a 5th level spell slot; I must say that. I'm sorry it turned against you.
Eric: So, I think you pull, like, the earth together in the... in the shape of a person. And you're like, "Electric is bad against ground. Go grab the wires." And instead, it turns towards you and it goes -- [growls].
Brandon (as Milo): Great. Great. Milo says that out loud. Great.
[Amanda snickers]
Eric (as Erin): Behind you, you hear, "Don't worry. I got it. It's Erin." And there's a guy.
Julia: What?
Eric (as Erin): You turn around and there's this white dude with freckles wearing a t-shirt and ripped jeans. And he's holding a bow that has, like, flowers bursting out of it. And he says, "Go Bramble Strike. Take it down!"
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Is that a warrior cat?
Eric: He pulls the bow back and he lets loose an arrow, which transforms into a thorny rosebush as it flies through the air and it -- It just, like, flies past the Earth Elemental and just goes right into the fire.
Amanda: Oh no.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I think you're feeding it a bit more.
Eric (as Erin): He's like, "Bramble Strike, no!"
[Amanda giggles]
Julia (as Val): Who are you?
Eric (as Erin): Milo, I was trying to help. I'm sorry.
Brandon (as Milo): I appreciate it. Um, what's your name?
Eric (as Erin): Erin, and this is Bramble Strike.
Brandon (as Milo): It's so nice to meet you both.
Eric (as Erin): Oh my god, Milo says that. It's so cool!
Amanda (as Aggie): Guys.
[Amanda giggles]
Eric (as Erin): What's happening?
Julia (as Val): Focus up.
Eric (as Erin): Oh my god. Vulcani told me to focus up. Okay, I got it. Bramble Strike, focus up. He puts another arrow on Bramble Strike.
Julia (as Val): What level are you? You got two attacks?
Eric (as Erin): What?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Nevermind.
Eric: I think at the same time as Erin and Bramble Strike pulls on to the scene, you hear, like, the rush of, like, the ocean. Like a wave.
Amanda: Oh, thank god. Here comes with water powers.
Eric: Yeah. A wave is coming down the street and you turn around, you see that there's, like, a man made out of water with bright blue Captain Planet skin.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: But like he has the mullet but it's all made out of water.
Amanda: Okay, okay.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): He's like surfing down the street. He's like, "Don't worry. Jack Hoover is here to take care of it."
[Brandon laughs]
Garbled talking:
Julia (as Val): It's just real names.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): That's my...
Julia (as Val): Use superhero names.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): That's my real name, Jack Hoover.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I got that bro. You don't have to announce yourself.
Amanda (as Aggie): Please deal with that fire
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Jack Hoover is gonna take care of that fire.
Amanda (as Aggie): Thanks Jack Hoover.
Eric: Jack Hoover just start shooting, like, underhand throws some of the water underneath him at the fire as the fire is starting to. Luckily, he was able to show up because the fire seems to have caught on more as it kind of like something inside like.
Amanda: Oh, as it eats a thorny rosebush also?
Eric: Yeah, as it takes the thorny rosebush as fuel, but also something inside seems to have caught more as it was -- [explosion noise] -- but luckily Jack Hoover was able to take care of it at the same time. So now, it is your turn. What do you guys do?
Brandon (as Milo): I'm gonna, real quick just cast Wall of Stone. Basically, I just want to make, like, a rock cage around this elemental.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: It is 30 hp per inch of thickness and they can be up to 6 inches thick.
Eric: Hell yeah. I think that's totally possible. Yeah. How... What does it look like when you pull ghostly stones? Like, what... what does it look like?
Brandon: You know, like, in circuses when they have those motorcycles in a sphere?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Imagine, like, that sphere with that motion but it's all just, like, ghosts. Like Spirits.
Eric: Hell, yes.
Amanda: It's awesome.
Eric: No, I love that. I love it a lot.
Brandon: Cool. Yeah, so it encapsulates the elemental and basically Milo just had to concentrate on holding him there for an hour until he goes away.
Eric: For sure.
Eric (as Earth Elemental): He's like, No! I wanted to smash! You created me to smash!
Julia (as Val): I was just gonna beat it with the pole that I'm holding.
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): Well, I would love while my arms are stretched, I'm going to stretch my legs as well and try to get up to the height of the tram -- sky tram -- and just kind of like wave my arms, advance toward where it's coming from and be like, "Hey, turn around. Turn around."
Eric: Please make an intelligence saving throw for me.
Amanda: Saving throw? Excuse you.
[Eric hums in agreement]
Brandon: Oh, Eric, I also have a bad thing.
Eric: Oh. Oh no.
Julia: Brandon, no.
Brandon: I hit my Spiritual Surge.
Julia: Brandon, no!
Amanda: Oh no. I did get an 8.
Eric: An 8.
Amanda: But fame, so 10.
Eric: Make a dexterity saving throw and then Brandon, we'll come back to you.
Julia: This is not a good first outing for us.
Brandon: I thought I was supposed to be better.
Amanda: That's an 11 with fame, so 13.
Eric: What does it look like when you... when you... you're stretching up there to go... to go help the... the sky tram?
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean, I've done a fair bit of, like, directing cars and patrons and, like, sending them out like crowd control, stuff like that. So, I feel like I have the kind of like farmers market parking attendant or like, air traffic controller, hand motions down. And so, I'm trying to say, like, you know, make an X with my arms, say, "DANGER!", and point them back toward where they came from.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: Trying to make eye contact with the conductor.
Eric: So, your legs stretch yourself all the way up there, use your big, big stretchy legs. But diving through your legs is another one of those little screens, and it flies up to you. And once again, there's another, like, attack ad. That's like, [in a computerized voice] "Aggie O'Hare is from a long line of family members who want their superheroes... who want their superheroes to be nepotism. Not me."
Julia: It's not what nepotism is.
Brandon: A dynasty of superheroes!
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: And you're spending too much time swat... trying to swat away the screen as it's, like, getting in between your legs and, like, flying around you like a... like a net. Then like, you don't know how effective you're communicating with the conductor of the sky tram.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Wonderful! Brandon, Spiritual Surge.
Brandon: 1!
Julia: Oh, please. Oh, please, Jesus. Sweet baby Jesus.
Eric: Alright, you know what, here we go. You've been dealing with the Earth Elemental for so long that you didn't realize that Tuna has been crawling up your side. And he's just, like, using his little cat self. And I think all of a sudden.
Eric (as Tuna): I know how I can help.
Eric: And Tuna puts his paws over your eyes.
Brandon: Jesus Christ.
Eric: And Milo for a second you can't see anything and then all of a sudden, you're seeing everything in X ray. And Vulcani, you look over and it looked -- Tuna fully has their -- his paws over Milo's eyes, but Tuna's eyes are, like, ghostly white. And Milo, you have advantage on perception checks for a minute as Tuna is giving you, like, ghost eyes as you can see through things. You have X-ray vision and advantage on perception check.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: Okay!
Amanda: Damn!
Brandon: So, my Wall of Stone is just fine then.
Eric: Hey, sometimes Spirits Surge done good thing.
Brandon: Cool stuff. Yeah, I love it.
Julia: Sometimes.
Eric: Brandon, please make another Perception check for me, so I'll let you do that again. And Vulcani, what do you want to do?
Julia (as Val): Multitool, you need help with there?
Amanda (as Multitool): Yep, yep, need help.
Julia (as Val): Cool. I'm gonna...
Eric: [in a computerized voice] No one needs more nepotism in our government.
Amanda (as Multitool): You're literally a venture capitalist. Go fuck yourself!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I'll drop my rage and use Jump to get up there.
Eric: Hell yes.
Amanda: We've also definitely talked in advance and you have full consent to, like, climb my body if useful to, like, use as a ladder to get other places.
Julia: I mean, is that an option for me at this moment? Because if I don't drop the rage that would also be good.
Amanda: Yeah, you... you totally should.
Julia (as Val): Can... can you help me up real-quick?
Amanda (as Multitool): Oh, yeah.
Julia (as Val): Alright, because we have to stop that thing by force. I think we... we might work well together on that.
Eric: Sure. Make a dexterity check for me.
Julia: I got a 16. 15 + 1.
Eric: Hell yeah. Yeah, you're able... you're able to balance yourself even on the stretchy -- the big stretchy hand. I can only imagine it's like a... like a cherry picker going down and going up there.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): And I'm... I'm gonna lift you up if I can to as close to the tram as I can manage.
Eric: Sure. What would you like to do while you're up there, Julia?
Julia: Well, I want to kind of brace to stop it if necessary.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon, what... what was your perception check?
Brandon: I got a 19 + 9 for a 28.
Julia: Fuck yeah, bro.
Amanda: Oh!
Eric: Let's go.
Brandon: Show me the entire battlefield please.
Eric: Sure. So, your... with your X-ray vision you can look inside the thing that is on fire. And you see that there is a lot of, like, there are seats on a bar and there are booths. And you realize this is a diner inside. And the reason why it went up in flames is because the flames have gotten to the kitchen and the flattop went up in flames.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Oh no. The water guy is not going to help then.
[Brandon hums in agreement]
Julia: The grease fire.
Eric: 10 kitchen safety points to Julia. With a 28, you also see that it seems like the sky tram isn't stopping. I don't know if, like, there isn't... there isn't, like, a -- an emergency break in these things. Or the... the conductor's having trouble reaching for it, but it's not... It is not stopping. With a general perception check, that's what I can tell you.
Brandon: Okay, are these three guys that we rescued from the car okay now? They're just --
Eric: They are... they are safe.
Brandon: Cool. And I'm going to assume that the Earth Elemental is still holding on to the power cable within the cage.
Eric: That -- yeah, that's fine. Yeah.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: The electrical wires are kind of flying everywhere, but no one is getting hurt by them anymore. Just, like, that -- unfortunately, that station wagon is, like, is done so. But it was, like, old anyway and he got it from his older brother.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: So, like, it's fine.
Brandon (as Milo): Insurance, you know? So, Milo is gonna turn to Jack Hoover and say, "Jack, do not use your water on that building. It's a grease fire. It's going to go everywhere. Jack and Erin, is there any way you can help slow this train down? I think that's our most immediate concern."
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Jack says, "Don't worry. I have something that will save -- take care of the people inside.
Eric: Oh, sorry. That's another thing that you see. There are still some folks inside of... of the burning diner.
Julia: Oh boy.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Don't worry. I can save the people inside. I got it.
Brandon (as Milo): Take your orders from Vulcani or Multitool please. Say -- ask what you're going to do first.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): I don't take orders from anyone.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay, well then, you could leave the battlefield because this is our battlefield here.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): I'm the Hoover. Damn, he's really helping out.
[Amanda groans in frustration]
Julia: Jesus Christ.
Eric (as Erin): I could help. Bramble... Bramble Strike, go!
Julia (as Val): Okay, wait, before you do that, let's establish a game plan.
Eric: I rolled a three.
Julia: Good.
Eric: Once again Erin fires Bramble Strike. The arrow transforms into a rosebush but this one has, like, more stems that hopefully was gonna, like, grab onto the wires or something to hold it together. And just flies forward and, like, hits a car, like, two blocks away.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia (as Val): Never fucking mind.
Brandon (as Milo): Erin, you're doing great. Good job, Erin. Thanks!
Eric (as Erin): Tha -- Thank you. I just want to help.
Amanda: How does Bramble patch sound like both the transformer and the My Little Pony, it's amazing.
Eric: Bramble Strike, go!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Alright, Aggie here's the plan. I want you to brace me like... like a little slingshot situation.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): While I try to... to stop the train with strength, hopefully. Fingers crossed.
Eric: Sure. Your action to be ready. Can be I'm going to ready a strength check to grab it. I'm totally down with that.
Julia: Yeah, that's my game plan; is I'm going to try to do a strength check to slow this down Spider Man style.
Eric: Hell yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I was gonna ask Erin to see if he could entangle the tracks to try to slow them down a little bit, but...
Eric (as Erin): I was right again. I'm not gonna be useless yet.
Julia (as Val): Kinda feeling useless here, Erin. Not gonna lie to you.
Eric (as Erin): I found it recently. I'm working on it.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Jack Hoover): That's when Jack says, "Duh. I'm here to save you."
Julia: Oh, God.
Eric: "Don't worry." And Jack conjures the water around him kind of like in a circle and then the steps into the diner. And you hear it just start steaming like [steaming noises] as the water around just kind of goes up in steam. And it kind of just, like, it's creating a lot of a fog around the fire at the moment. It is now your turn once again.
Amanda: Can I investigate the wires? I don't know if my Lay of the Land background will help at all but I'd love to see if there seems to be any kind of damage.
Eric: Sure thing. Make an investigation check.
Amanda: Okay, so 9 + fame for an 11.
Eric: Alright. With your fame, as you... you're just kind of still stretched up there and you crane your neck over. Maybe you even stretch your neck over to look at the wires.
Amanda: I'm trying to stretch my neck too much. It can look creepy.
Eric: Uh, sure, sure. Sure, sure, sure.
[Brandon giggles]
Eric: And you look up there and you see that it seems like the wires are way more frayed than you thought. And you look and there's, like, three little pieces and two and one and then a fully steps. As the sky tram starts to fall out of the sky. Julia, please make a strength saving throw.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Eric: I will give you advantage on that.
Julia: I already have advantage because I'm raging but thanks.
Eric: Hell yeah. I'll... I will lower the DC for this.
[Julia laughs sinisterly]
Julia: So, I rolled a 9.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: And then I rolled a Nat 20.
Eric: Okay.
[Amanda and Brandon exclaim in excitement]
Julia: +8.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia: + my fame modifier?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: So, a natural 30.
Eric: Good to know. As a reaction. Fine. Please make a charisma saving throw.
Julia: I fucking will.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: A 22.
Eric: Wonderful. As you are about to, you have ready your action, you're going to grab the sky tram out of the sky, a screen zips up in front of you and says, [in a computerized voice] "I don't trust Vulcani"
Julia (as Val): Hey, fuck off.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: [in a computerized voice] Okay, that's fine. Alright.
[Everybody laughs]
Eric: The screen just zips away and with your Natural goddamn 30, yeah, fuck yeah, dude. It's like the sky tram just comes down on you as you grab it out of the air while balancing on top of Multitool's, like, stretched out hand. And you're... you're just holding the sky tram, you would see the conductor and some people are now, like, smooshed on top of the window that's facing you. And they're like [in a muffled voice] "Vulcani! And one of them was like, "Oh, fuck you Vulcani.
Julia (as Val): That's fucking right.
Amanda: And yeah, I'll just turn along with Vulcani and, you know, they can hopefully just put it down safely at the next stop.
Eric: Hell yes. Brandon, are you --
Julia: This started so badly and ended very well.
Amanda: Yeah, it did.
Eric: Brandon, are you still just concentrating on keeping the Earth Elemental in there?
Brandon: Yes. I'm going to continue to concentrate because I do not want this Earth Elemental to wreak havoc.
Eric: Cool. You can't make a spell or anything but do you want to do, like, a skill check that wouldn't, like, disrupt your concentration? Like, is there something you'd like to do?
Amanda: I mean, may I suggest that the... the imperiled NPCs are, like, fanning you, giving you a Gatorade, taking pictures of you as you concentrate.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Like, I think this could be kind of tight.
Eric (as imperiled NPC): So, like, where did these stones even come from? Like, do they come out of your body? Also, are you like Danny Phantom where, like, you go --
Brandon (as Milo): No!
Eric: -- in the ghost’s realm as part of you?
Julia: He's exactly like Danny Phantom.
Eric (as imperiled NPC): Do the Spirits like you? What happens to us when we die?
Julia (as Val): No one asked that question.
Brandon (as Milo): It's Anubis. Get yourself right with Anubis. I think what Milo is gonna do is, I think what the LT3 would actually maybe do is that they have a direct line to emergency services.
Amanda: I like that.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon (as Milo): So, if you'll allow me and I'm sure its voice activated, so Milo is gonna be like, "Hey, February -- which is the voice assistant -- call LTFD" and then Milo's gonna ask them to bring a, like, firefighting helicopter full of fire suppressant over to this building.
Eric (as February): Cheerio. Happy to help. On it.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon (as Milo): I don't have time for this but we're talking about this later.
Julia (as Val): Is our Fire Chief British? When did that happen?
Amanda: Is there a voice assistant British?
Eric: That's February's voice.
Julia: Oh, okay.
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Milo forgot that he put the voice assistant on British.
Eric (as February): On it, bro. Happy to help. On it.
Julia (as Val): I think Vulcani while holding up this giant sky tram car is like, "Is my thumb still have that thing in the cage? The... the rock thing?
Eric (as Earth Elemental): Let me out! Smash! You can't tell me what to do, dad.
Amanda: I'm gonna look down. Does it... does it seem Milo has it been hand?
Eric: Oh, yeah. The wall is definitely keeping that thing in.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: Alright.
Eric (as Erin): Wonderful. I think at that moment, Erin's like, "You got it. Great job. I'm gonna put Bramble Strike away. Don't worry about it." And then you here [sizzling noises] as stepping back out from the fire is Jack Hoover with, like, this, like, circle of water around him. And you can see, like, he's only, like, darker water inside of this lighter water. And there's, like, four people floating around inside of the water. Like synchronized swimmers in a Busby Berkeley musical, like, around... around him.
Amanda (as Aggie): That's actually very helpful. Thank you.
Julia (as Val): Can they breathe?
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Two of them can. They'll be fine.
Amanda (as Aggie): What?
Julia (as Val): What does that mean?
Amanda (as Aggie): Eject them! Eject them!
Eric (as Jack Hoover): I'm already on it. [bubbling noises]
Julia: Gross.
Eric: So, it's like, someone ripped open an above ground pool. The water just, like, flops on the ground as the four people just tumble out. Like, "Thanks. I didn't catch your name."
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Jack Hoover, like the dam, like the vacuum.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric (as Jack Hoover): No, it's... the day it's... it's the dam.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Like, I'm creation of America.
Brandon: [in a lower tone] Like the President.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Give me all of that energy together. Yeah, I was named. That's the dam. I'm related to Herbert Hoover.
Julia (as Val): He was a shitty president.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): No. Not true.
Julia (as Val): It wasn't a matter of opinion. It's a fact.
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Shut up.
[Amanda and Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Jack Hoover): I'm too busy saving lives while you're holding this big thing in your arms.
Amanda (as Aggie): It's full of people.
Julia (as Val): What is this guy doing here?
Eric (as Jack Hoover): Can't tell. Too busy saving people.
Julia (as Val): Fuck you, Jack Hoover.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, guys, we're gonna need a meeting.
Eric: Hell yeah. We're out of action right now as everything kind of wraps up. The earth elemental goes.
Eric (as Earth Elemental): Ooh, I never asked to be bored.
[Players laugh]
Julia: Stop doing this to poor, Brandon.
Brandon: Thank you, Julia.
Eric: As it just... as it crumbles into... into stone, that's taken care of. The three bros in the car are safe and outside of the electrical wires. You are able to lower down the sky tram. And lots of people ask for Vulcani's autograph.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: All of the wet people from the diner surrounding Jack are taking selfies with him.
Brandon: I think you see that Milo is, like, visibly upset with himself. Like, very downtrodden. Like, he... he's really disappointed that he caused a problem and had to fix it and really didn't help with the other stuff.
Eric (as Erin): Hey, man. Is this [stutters] are you -- have you been doing this a long time? Because, like, I'm kind of new at it too. Don't worry about it. Don't. Shake it... Shake it off.
Brandon (as Milo): No, I've been doing this a while Erin, but uh, I'm glad... I'm glad to have you in the fold. Yeah, if you... if you want to, you know, be an identified superhero and help some other folks and learn, we'd love to have you on the team, you know? Not the LT3 but the wider team of superheroes.
Eric (as Erin): Oh, okay.
Julia (as Val): Erin seems like a good candidate for that big supers’ little supers’ program we were talking about Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I love that. Yeah.
Eric (as Erin): Can someone tell me how to use Bramble Strike?
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): This is exactly what I mean. Where did you find that?
Eric (as Erin): In the woods? And also, can someone help me with this? He shows where he's been -- he's holding Bramble Strike in one hand and there's, like, thorns going into his hand. He's like, "I don't know where else to hold it."
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Are you showing you're supposed to have that and not someone else?
Eric (as Erin): I don't know. I found it.
Julia (as Val): Oh boy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Why don't you carry it like a... like a tote bag. Like one of those big plastic ones people use for their laundry and then, like, let's... let's, like, meet. Like, here's a card for... for us. You could tweet to us or like email us or whatever. And we'll... we'll find some time. You gotta get, like, a glove or something, man.
Eric (as Erin): I'm gonna go to House Warehouse and get some gloves.
[Brandon huffs a laugh]
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, it's a good idea.
Julia (as Val): Like gardening gloves.
Eric (as Erin): Gardening gloves, yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Like stick ones.
Brandon (as Milo): Get some falconry gloves. Those are even... those are better.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, or welder’s gloves. Exactly.
Brandon (as Milo): Welder's glove.
Eric (as Erin): Yeah, I'll go to the Falconer's aisle at House Warehouse. They have everything.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.
[Eric huffs a laugh]
Eric: I'm just imagining a Raptors aisle of House Warehouse for all of your... your falconry eagle and etc needs.
Brandon: I love that.
[Julia hums in agreement]
Amanda (as Aggie): Very good. Listen, Milo, you dealt with that super well, okay? That was a great idea, great strategy, and you contained it before it could cause any damage. And like, Vulcani, thank you. You totally came through for me. I was super distracted by that stupid ad. And I... I totally missed the mark trying to stop that tram from coming.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I mean, that's not on you, Milo or you Aggie. Like, that thing was sent to distract you and make our lives harder. So, like, it's not a big deal if it did affect you. You didn't know what was gonna happen.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean, okay, yeah. I hear you. Thanks. I appreciate that.
Eric: As the three of you are pulling yourself together here, I think you see that Jack Hoover kind of slides backwards on his water. And you see the three screens -- the widescreen television screens -- then switch to a PowerPoint that says, "Superheroes 4U." And it says, "I don't think that we should be depending on fallible humans."
Julia: So, I cast magic missiles.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: On each of those screens real-quick.
Eric: Yeah, roll... roll for those.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Is it superheroes for you like the number 4 and the letter U?
Eric: Yeah. It's like Superheroes on its left, above him, is 4 and U is to his right.
Brandon: I love that.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: 2. 3, 4, 2, + 1 to each of those. So, 4, 5, 3.
Eric: Great. Yep. What does your magic missiles look like?
Julia: I think I just, like, make a finger gun and go pew, pew, pew. And it's a little fireball.
Eric: Yeah. I think that you shoot three fireballs at the one that says 4, and that one goes down with the other one, so now it's just: "Superhero U."
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): It's a superhero university.
[Brandon huffs a laugh]
Eric: Be like, [in a computerized voice] "I don't want it. I don't think we should be depending on the fallibility of humans to defend yourself. Don't you want to bespoke powered person to be able to help you no matter what happens? That is why Gutenberg is here to save you when you need it." As coming from, like, the bottom up, you see, like, the wire frames of the water. I don't know if you've seen, like, video games getting put together, but it's, like, they put the details on as a layer cake. And there's, like, a... a green graphical skeleton underneath a lot of video game stuff. So, as the... you see, like, from the water up, the pixels kind of start dissolving. And you see, like, Jack Hoover is slowly getting made out of the greens, this green graphical skeleton as, like, the water is kind of like wicking away. And be like, "I know that we've had a lot of bad press over the last... over the last few weeks. But really, it's the governments and the people trying to keep you from what you want, and you've taken control of all of that. Dr. Morrow is out of the picture, but I think that her disciples are still around keeping you from that. Accept Gutenberg into your life and your life will be better."
Brandon: Is he the Christ now? The commercial --
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: -- Christ?
Julia: The Messiah. The superhero Messiah.
Eric: Brandon, sometimes tech startups are the Messiah.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And as he says, it's for you. Jack Hoover is fully just a green skeleton and then poof into pixels up in the sky that comes down like little confetti on all of the people who have been saved.
Brandon: So, he was named after the vacuum all along.
Eric: [in a deeper voice] No, you're the one who sucks.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia (as Val): I think Vulcani just turns to the crowds like, "Y'all ever seen Terminator? This guy just wants Terminator to happen sooner."
[Brandon huffs a laugh]
Eric: Yeah, but some of those people ended up pretty good in Terminator. Like, we didn't see the future, right?
Julia (as Val): No, the whole point of Terminator is, like, they keep coming back in time and resetting the timeline so that the Terminator stuff happens.
Eric: I don't think... I think we must be thinking of different movies because I remember in Terminator, it was great and everyone loved -- and I love Arnold Schwarzenegger, so I don't know what you mean.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, but Arnold Schwarzenegger was a bad guy in the first one then he comes back because he was reprogrammed.
Eric: But he was a good guy in the second one and all the other movies so I don't know what you’re talking about.
Brandon (as Milo): Are you thinking of Jingle All The Way Home or?
Eric: Vulcani, if you just want to debate me on Term -- on Terminator, I can tell you right now. I've watched that movie a bunch of times. I'm not telling you my name. Are you serious?
Julia (as Val): I think you should rewatch the Terminator franchise and then come back at me because this guy wants the, like, AI awakening to happen, and that's not cool.
Eric: Wow, you're really virtue signaling right now that you can save me and then you can also need to be right. Wow, I can't believe that.
Amanda (as Multitool): Multitool is gonna step up and, like, put a hand up like, "Hey and say his love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, okay?"
Julia (as Val): Stop it with the Folklore lyrics.
Amanda (as Multitool): That's what my friend... that's my sister's Quinn's friend said Taylor.
[Brandon snorts a laugh]
Amanda (as Multitool): Listen, it's shiny, and it's... it's uh... it's seductive, and it's not real. Alright?
Eric: I'm gonna go do my own research. That's fine.
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia (as Val): It's not research if you're not doing some actual science, you're just Googling.
[Siren noises]
Eric: As the fire department finally pulls up and then --
Amanda: That's a jam.
Eric (as February): -- just start spraying down everything. It's like, "Alright, bro. Fire department is here. If you need anything, I'm February." The AI assistant is talking to you on your comms.
Julia: Oh, man, I really thought that was the fire chief.
[Amanda laughs]
Brandon: Thanks, feds. I'll give you a good cleaning later.
Eric: Wonderful. I think as you all pull yourself together, the TVs just kind of fly away. Everyone starts to disperse as... as we seem to get a handle on all of this. And Milo, you get a message on the super-secret app that doesn't actually exist on your phone. And it's from your dad. And your dad says.
Eric (as Hank): So, remember when I said a lot of people need to get really okay with a lot of stuff real-quick? We're gonna have to start that now.
[JTP Outro Theme Music starts]
Transcribed by: John Matthew Sarong
Edited by: Krizia Marrie Casil