47. Join Hands IV

The heist of the Office of Technology Assessment is on, and a secret government bureau doesn’t do take-backsies. Vulcani leads a tour group. Aggie gets extra pencils. Brandon remembers an item.


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Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes three Tuesdays a month.

Transcript

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

Eric: We're prepping for the heist, and we got some help. I think? It will definitely help out. Aggie checked in with Danny at Banksy's house and ended up with a painting that will help detect where those powerful sunglasses might be hiding. Vulcani recruited teens at SUNY LTC, ran into Hardbody who is working for the government apparently, and started a mystery of who Kathlyn Debbie is. Maybe she's not the college person we thought she was. And Kilonova got Lucas turned into an okapi and recruited Lou to the heist. Those two things were unrelated and then that became related. Well, there's only one thing left to do. Let's steal ourselves a government artifact. Let's get the party started.

[JTP Intro Theme Music starts]

[Birds chirping]

Eric: At Lakeshore Park, on the banks of Lake Champlain that divides New York State and Vermont's not under the bridge, but kind of far away from the bridge, they've developed that whole area, they're in a kind of a revitalization project. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about Lakeshore Park, which is farther down. All of the families of all of the agents, managers, and secret information keepers of the Office of Technology Assessment are having their field day. Jumping in potato sacks, three-legged racing, getting balloon animals, and looking at the sculpture garden of Aleph 1.0 through 6.0. The sentient computer that tried to take over the United States, six times, all of Mark Five is actually there because All of Five is good. And then they kept the brain and put it in a new body. But the other ones are there as part of the sculpture garden that many children are climbing off of as an earth sized jungle gym.

Amanda: What?

Brandon: Are the teens also climbing?

Julia: No, no, no. Hold on.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Yeah? We have Julia, what's up?

Julia: What?

Eric: Oh, yeah. I mean, like, in the-- in the 90s into the 2000s. That was actually what everyone was afraid of in Y2K, all of Mark Five, the sentient computer tried to take over the United States, and the Office of Technology Assessment them. All of Five; they discovered was actually good because they put in, like, a feelings chip into it. But then All of Six rejected that and become bad again.

Julia: I have a lot of follow up questions.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: Do you have any of those extra feeling chips is my question.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Okay.

Amanda: Eric, did you come up with this in the-- in the three minutes since I told you that I once went to FBI field day in DC and my aunt showed me some bombs that she helped defuse?

Brandon: Amanda, that was 30 seconds. Three minutes? What are you talking about?

Amanda: Yeah, wow.

Eric: Yeah, I did. Oh, also the head of the OTA, Indun Winters Miracofor, a 8-foot tall woman with three feet of luxurious snow white hair, gets up on the stage and says, "Thank you, everyone for coming. This has been-- This I can tell all of you are having fun. And not because of the chips I've been planted into all of you." And everyone laughs and laughs.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Quick-- quick sidebar, players. How does it feel to suddenly be the least important character in Join the Party Campaign II?

Julia: Well, I was just about to tell Eric that I need to change Val's whole, like, mission in this campaign. And now it's to seduce this woman.

Eric: Sure. Sounds great. The drone shot pulls all the way up, so you see everyone at Field Day. And then we zoom quickly back down to Hank Lane, squirting way too much mustard on a hotdog, taking a deep breath and says;

Eric (as Hank Lane): Oh, I hope he doesn't cause an international incident.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: And then takes a big bite of his hotdog. And I think then we turn the page in the comic book and we see the three of you and Lou standing on the other side of the street from the concrete edifice, the incredibly unassuming building of the Office of Technology Assessment. But because it's a heist, we immediately then cut to 12 hours earlier.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Hey, let's-- why don't we get this heist going? Brandon, thank you so much for keeping Steven Soderbergh on retainer. That's wonderful. I appreciate that.

Brandon: Oh, my pay. Am I supposed to be paying him? I thought you were paying him?

Eric: Oh, no, I'm teaching him how to play Dungeons and Dragons. He wants to play a ranger.

Julia: Of course he does.

Eric: Yeah, he wants-- he wants to have a tiger companion who also has a rough and tumble past

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: The tiger, not the ranger.

Brandon: Right, right, right.

Eric: So, where it's heist day. Today is Saturday. Today is the field day. We can start before the heist itself. I think that we've already laid out that Lou is with you. You have the painting from Danny. Val has already organized a field trip that will happen at some point. You walk in with them as your second person, and we have an item to be named later. Is there anything you want to do before we start executing this? Like, what would you have done right before the heist?

Brandon: I think Milo would carb up, you know, carb a load before the heist. Get some good spaghetti or something. Or maybe some, I don't know, nachos or something?

Eric: Are your friends concerned that you're eating spaghetti for breakfast? Or is this like, "Oh no, classic Milo."

Julia: Is there something wrong with that?

Brandon: Yeah, I feel like that's a good choice. I don't know what you're talking about.

Eric: Nevermind, I-- I see. I cede my time to the representative from Little Italy. I'm sorry.

Julia: Listen, I eat pa--. This is out of character. I eat pasta for breakfast all the time.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Brandon: What kind of pasta. Like, cream-based sauces or?

Julia: No. Like, usually I'll just do, like, I'll chop up a couple of vegetables, saute them and then like, like, a little bit of a garlic oil sauce, you know.

Amanda: A fresh pasta?

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Damn.

Julia: Little pantry pasta.

Amanda: Good for you.

Eric: I just appreciate whenever you say something there's, like, a 50% chance it's you and Val speaking simultaneously.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Rude.

Amanda: I think Aggie is going to swing by her parents’ cottage after dinner.

Eric: Oh the night before?

Amanda: Yes.

Eric: Sure. Yeah, what's up? Tell me about it.

Amanda (as Aggie): I'm going to stop by over the pretense of, I'm going to just carry, I don't know, what do people need to do? Okay, I'm going to carry some, like, fresh humane mouse traps and every so often I'll, you know, I'll just put a couple in my parents' garage because they would never think of pests. They're not anywhere long enough to develop a pest problem or if there is one, just to, like, leave for different hotels. So, every so often, I'll just perform routine maintenance. And I'm like, "Hey, mom, dad, how's it going? How was your-- How was your day?"

Eric (as Mr. O’Hare): I think as you walk up to the cottage, I think this would be-- it would have to be like-- maybe like Twilight. But yeah, as you walk up you hear like [screams from a distance] from the other side of the lake. And it's your dad, like, shouting to you and waving to you from, like, half a mile away. He's doing his nightly constitutional. He's like, "Aggie, good to see you." And just, like, still continues to walk the other direction away from you showing up.

Amanda: Great. So, I'll change out the-- the traps. No critters, no friends in there, and then knock on my mom's back door which leads into the kitchen.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Sure. I imagine that the window shade is drawn and then she pulls it and it comes up and she goes [startled screaming]. And then she unlocked the gate locks. It's on this screen guard, be like, "Aggie, you scared me."

Amanda (as Aggie): I knocked. Sorry.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Why would you knock so loud and scare me like that?

Amanda (as Aggie): Would you prefer I knock quietly and then you wonder if it's, like, a raccoon or a predator and then you call me and say, "Aggie, come check out the back door," and then I'm like, "Mom, it's me." And then you hear my voice echo and then you get doubly scared.

Brandon: That's a good prank.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Did you come over to sass me?

Amanda (as Aggie): No, I actually-- I wanted to ask your advice. A real-- a real mother-daughter bonding moment.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Oh, I mean, when you call it a mother-daughter bonding moment. Might kind of puts it-- No, no, I'm not saying it no. I'm excited about this. Yes.

Amanda (as Aggie): Thank you. I see your restraint. I appreciate it.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): I'm holding it. Yes. How can I help you, Margaret?

Amanda (as Aggie): Well, I am sure that you and dad have, you know, you've to call me sometimes and been like, you know, "Aggie, we're escaping. Margaret, we're escaping from whatever. Margaret, the, you know, we found out that this man we stayed with was-- was the-- the heisting me or Margaret, there was a tiger in the spare bedroom, we had to leave."

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): That was only twice and we gave them bad reviews on Airbnb.

Amanda (as Aggie): Sure, sure, sure. No, that-- that makes sense. But my main question is have you ever had to sneak into someplace? Or if you're escaping, I don't know, do you have any tips? Do you have any just, like, tips about-- about, like, the sneaking in or the getting out?

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Aggie): Have you ever have heist anything mom? I feel like, listen, I'm your-- I'm your lawful child. I never-- I never drank underage, but this is the kind of age where you could go to your parents, be like, "You know mom, I did steal your, like, peppermint schnapps at one time." I never did any of that. I feel like our relationship goes the other way, so this would just be-- this would be a good time for you to think about--

Brandon: Your mom steals your peppermint schnapps?

Amanda: She does. She does constantly.

Eric: I'm sure she does.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, roll a persuasion check because I wanting-- I feel like advantage and disadvantage cancel out because it's disadvantage because you're a superhero now and you're probably up to something but it's an advantage because this was a very good play. So, I feel like a straight-- straight up for persuasion.

Amanda: Okay, that's a 7 + 5 for a 12.

Eric: Okay. 12.

[Dice rolls]

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): So, I was rolling to see how effective the advice was that she was gonna give you. "Margaret, I know enough as the mother to countless children--"

Amanda (as Aggie): Seven mom.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Like, countless children.

Amanda (as Aggie): It's been seven. It's been the same number for 22 years.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Shows what you know.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Whoa, what?

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): See, I got you. You-- you--

Amanda (as Aggie): Dark, mom.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): See, I got you.

Amanda (as Aggie): Shit!

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): You were panicking. You think you know everything about your mother. I knew it was seven, but I got you.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): I wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

Amanda (as Aggie): You see, now. I'm gonna leave that one there. See?

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Good. Thank you.

Amanda (as Aggie): Alright.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): I'm some-- I'm funny.

Amanda (as Aggie): That's true.

Eric: Sorry, I laughed at my own joke.

[Players snickers]

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): I don't-- don't bring me into all of your superhero nonsense. I don't want to know what you're breaking into or breaking out of or anything. I just say whenever we go to a Airbnb, or someone has lent us their room for the night, or I don't know, you get kind of mixed up in a-- in a land deal. And you have to stay in a haunted chalet for 24 hours.

Amanda (as Aggie): Sure.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): You always want to look around to see if the person who stayed there left any of their things, because that might signal, to me, if I had to do something that they need to do, they will have to come back and use that for wherever I'm-- I'm here.

Amanda (as Aggie): Sure, sure.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): So, I would just say look around.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, I’ll give that a try.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Maybe if they have, like, if there's a spare key, like where does it go? Why do they need a key? What's locked in there? Usually, it's just, like, cleaning supplies. Maybe don't even go in there, but you never know.

Amanda (as Aggie): Two times it was a tiger.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): Two times it was a tiger. And I wish I found that out sooner.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay, thanks. That's actually very helpful, mom. Thank you.

Eric (as Mrs. O’Hare): No problem.

Brandon: Two times a tiger is my favorite college rock band.

[Amanda snickers]

Eric: I like their first EP, but then they kind of went corporate --

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: -- afterwards, and I didn't really like it.

[Brandon and Julia hums in agreement]

Eric: Though, the drummer is now in Fallout Boy, which is pretty cool.

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Amanda: The bassist is toying with Queen and Adam Lambert.

[Eric snorts a laugh]

Eric: The bass-- You know that was Adam Lambert.

Amanda: It was. It was.

Eric: Adam lambert was the Two times a tiger.

Amanda: It was.

Eric: Wonderful. Does anyone else want to do anything?

Julia: Yes.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: I think Val, the night before, is going to give Salimoni a call.

[Amanda gasps]

Eric: Whoa, really?

Amanda: Yes!

Eric: Alright.

Amanda: Julia!

Eric: Sorry. Let me put on four gold chains to get in character. Give me a second.

[Julia hums in agreement]

Brandon: Can you give us a follow up for that, Eric?

Eric: Yeah, Brandon, here I'm putting on one gold chain.

Brandon: Okay.

Julia: Clink, clink.

Eric: And then I'm putting on another gold chain on top of this ankle chain. And then I'm putting a small gold chain, but it has a very large Jesus on it. And then I'm putting on a, like, a kind of a-- a turtle neck chain that covers all of it.

Brandon: Turtle neck chain?

Eric: Yeah, I just, like, --

Brandon: Like a golden collar?

Eric: Yeah, kind of a golden collar. I click that into place.

Julia: More Italians would look cool if they were those.

Eric: There you go. Get at me. Listen to this podcast, Italians.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, you can call up Salimoni if you have his number.

Julia: Yeah, of course I have his number.

Eric: Yeah. He has a ring back tone from Linkin Park. Jay Z's Numb.

Amanda: Oh no.

Julia: Why?

Eric: Encore, do you want more?

Julia: Val considers hanging up but doesn't.

Eric (as Salimoni): And it goes to voicemail. It says, "Hey, you reached Salimoni's  phone. I'm probably out doing stuff that's none of your business. Give me the digits. Also, ma, don't call this phone. Alright. Sorry, wait, how do I-- how do I turn it? Where? Is it done? Is it off? Wait. Damn! Fuck! Beep!"

Julia (as Val): Val just leaves a message and it's like, "Hey, you owe for almost killing me last time I saw you. Also, call your mother. Bye."

Eric: While you're in the middle of that message, you get a call from an unlisted number.

[Brandon snickers]

Julia: Alright. Val hangs up and answers that call.

Eric (as Salimoni): This is Salimoni's phone. Salimoni speaking.

Julia (as Val): Do you not have a caller ID? Do you not know who is calling you? Also, you called me.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Salimoni): I can't remember. I can't remember who's calling who. What am I? What am I, the– the Encyclopedia?

Julia (as Val): That makes no goddamn sense. Alright. I need a favor because you owe me, because last time you saw me you tried to kill me.

Eric (as Salimoni): That's right. That is the entire basis of organized crime. That's fair.

[Julia hums in agreement]

Julia (as Val): Quid pro quo, you know,

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah. I had a cousin named quid pro --

Julia (as Val): Yo, Quid loves Quinne with an e.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah, my fucking-- my second cousin, quid pro quo.

Julia (as Val): Fucking love the community. How is he doing?

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah, he moved to Staten Island. He has a nice house.

Amanda: Oh, he's married. He's married now.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia (as Val): He's still doing the bookkeeping?

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah, he is.

Julia (as Val): Alright.

Eric (as Salimoni): I mean, it's really-- it's really more of a way for him to get closer to the ponies but, you know, Quid's a good kid.

Julia (as Val): I understand. Love that Quid. Anyway, I'm probably, like, not necessarily going to need your help but in, like, a worst case scenario where I might need your help, you want to, like, help me from not getting arrested maybe?

Eric (as Salimoni): Look at Vulcani, running from getting arrested. I thought that was your job.

Julia (as Val): You mean your job?

Eric (as Salimoni): I don't know what--. Your job was arresting--

Julia (as Val): I don't arrest anyone.

Eric (as Salimoni): You just punch people?

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

Eric (as Salimoni): And then, like, they-- they're like, "Oh, I'm so punched. I gotta go to the police."

Julia (as Val): I don't care what they do after I punch them.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah, we are family. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Yeah. Why not? It all sounds fun.

Julia (as Val): Cool.

Eric (as Salimoni): Like, this is like taking someone who just-- who just got a rosary and then being like, "Oh, you want to go do Whippets in the parking lot. It was great."

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Val): Like you haven't done that at someone's Communion before?

Eric (as Salimoni): That was--. Listen, that's freshman year high school. I don't know./

Julia (as Val): Yeah, you've really grown since then.

Eric (as Salimoni): Yeah, you know, yeah, sure. If the cops are on your tail, I'm here for you. What?

Julia (as Val): Okay.

Eric (as Salimoni): Why are you calling me? You're not --

Julia (as Val): Because you have an expertise in not getting caught by the cops somehow.

Eric (as Salimoni): No, it's extremely true. I just-- I know you have people in higher places than me, so I figured you could ask them but uh, okay. You want to cash in your favor out and almost. That's alright. I'll take it.

Julia (as Val): Alright. Just, like, you know, do me a favor. Tomorrow, be in the general downtown area. And if I drop you a pin, go to that location and make some fucking noise.

Eric (as Salimoni): Sounds good. I like it.

Julia (as Val): Alright.

Eric (as Salimoni): You know, if you see a dad any time around, I don't know if he's taking delta orders or not, but I could use some.

Julia (as Val): I'll keep that in mind.

Eric (as Salimoni): Thank you. Alright. You don't have to tell him now, just do it whenever you see him.

Julia (as Val): Yeah. Okay.

Eric (as Salimoni): Alright. Did you like my ringback tone?

Julia: Hang up.

[Amanda and Brandon snickers]

Eric: Brandon, will you make a history check for me?

Brandon: I will. 13 + 5 for 18.

Eric (as Hank Lane): Wonderful. I think that your dad remembers to call you the night before as like, like, "Have fun in the heist." But also he remind --

Brandon (as Milo): Dad, don't say the stuff out loud. Stop talking about it.

Eric: He called you through the secret Tuna app, has-- it has a voice calling feature. And he gives you as much information as he can remember about him being there. So, the building itself looks very unassuming from the outside, but there are some levels that I think that he can tell you.

Brandon (as Milo): Milo's going to say, "Dad, can you say this in all, you know, slightly adjacent metaphoric language, so I have plausible deniability?"

Eric (as Hank Lane): Sure. Alright, well, then. So, I'm going to say, well, I want to tell you about the sandwich I had. And the sandwich goes up, but I can tell you about the top of the sandwich, but below the sandwich, I don't know much about. He's just talking about a sandwich the whole time.

Brandon: Okay,

Eric: So, you guys are gonna go in on level one, which is the lobby. There are two levels above that. There's level two and level three that has the offices and Brandon, that's where you went, Oh, that's when Milo went when he snuck in during the time loop.

Brandon: Making a note on level two, probable leftover cake?

Eric: Yeah, level three is above that and that's where the executive suites are. There's also a roof, which is interesting, because you cannot see the roof from the actual building. Like, there's roof access. Like, that's odd. Like, it doesn't look like anyone ever goes on the roof, especially for it being such, like, a small building. Like, in the downtown. You'd think that people would be able to, like, look down on it from there, but no one ever says anything about a roof on the OTA building.

Amanda: It's that-- there's like a cloaking feature on the whole roof?

Julia: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Eric (as Hank Lane): And then there are things that go below. Your dad says that there is a basement one and basement two. So, you can start looking there. But he-- that's all he can tell you about what's below. He's not really sure what's down there. Because again, they might have reshuffled stuff, especially after he left because, like, he was kind of, like, the second in command of the OTA. He's not exactly sure who replaced him, but, you know, he knows that there are, like, a real beast from another department, so I'm not really sure. I think your dad says, "Okay, so good luck. Have fun, be safe, have fun, be safe, have fun, be safe.

Brandon (as Milo): Be safe doing what? Eating a sandwich? That makes no sense. Dad, I'm going to have fun being --

Eric (as Hank Lane): Eating the sandwich, which is so delicious that the government might come after you.

[Amanda laughs]

Brandon (as Milo): The extra tested edges of the sandwich might tear the roof of my mouth. I see what you mean.

Eric (as Hank Lane): Exactly. Now put Tuna on. I have to talk about the campaign strategy.

Brandon (as Milo): No.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Alright, now let's cut back to the three of you and Lou are standing out in front of the OTA on the other side of the street. Are you guys ready to heist?

Brandon: Eric, I'm never ready to heist.

Amanda: Are you the government? If so, so. If not, fuck yeah.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Hell yeah, dog.

Brandon: If I wear a baseball hat will I be invisible?

Eric: Yeah, you got to wear a baseball hat that has no logo on it and sunglasses and you're fine.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Julia: Quick Table Talk Question for you. How do we want to utilize the teens? Do we want to, like, go in as the teen's chaperones? And then, like, once they gain access to areas that aren't the lobby, then we can split off? Or--

Amanda: Your question is like, Should Brandon and I be on the field trip or like sneaking in?

Julia: Right. Or am I going to, like, you know, have an argument with the Secretary to let us in for the field trip and you guys sneak into the offices during that?

Amanda: Yeah, it's not a sure bet that the teams can be led in. Otherwise, it'd be really easy to, like, peel off during a tour. But yeah, I think if y'all create a distraction, then either, you know, one of us can go to the roof, I can try the Lay of the Land and, like, find some kind of side or service entrance. Like, part of me wants to divide and conquer, part of me wants to all be in the field trip together, so I can go either way.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon: I have a couple ideas. One, I can cast, basically, Gaseous Form on all of us if we want to, but that's really slow. Eric, would you say there's anyone with plant powers within this group of teens?

Eric: That's a good question. I did want to talk about how we're going to use the group of teams, so if there is something you're looking for, we will roll on it to see how powerful they are, if there is something exactly what you're looking for. So, why don't, what check would this be? I think it would just be straight up luck, right? So, I think if there's something you're looking for Brandon, you can roll-- roll a D20 for me and tell me what you get.

Brandon: I was thinking about using, like, Transport via Plants, like, unknowingly with this person, but it does say larger, larger inanimate plant but, like, is there inanimate plant on the person if there were a plant powered individual there?

Eric: Yes.

Brandon: Okay, okay.

Eric: If you wanted there to be a plant child and the plant-- and they would do that be, like, Well, I'll check this shit out for the vine and then they make a tree, like they could do that.

Brandon: Okay, cool.

Amanda: Vine ever died in this universe?

Eric: Yeah, Vine still out but it's Dr. Morrow's face.

Brandon: I'm gonna roll but I also have this thing called Find the Path which; a spell that allows me to find the shortest, most direct, physical route to a specific fixed location.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: Pretty cool.

Julia: Love that.

Brandon: Which is a waste of, like, a level six spell but whatever.

Eric: Is that a waste?

Brandon: Eric, how does the natural 20 sound to you? Does that sound good?

Julia: All the children have whatever powers you want, Brandon.

Amanda: Brandon specifically, whatever you want.

Eric (as Lou): Okay, yeah, dog. Um, here's something fun. While you four are standing on the other side of the street and Lou's like, "So, what are we-- Are waiting for something? Like, where? Where are the kids? Where-- where is this-- the college students?" You see that a gaggle of college students walk up and Val you must have missed this. And maybe this is one of their friends but, like, a living tree person is in the group of college students. And like you can see, like, one of the kids is kind of just, like, swinging from one of their branches. They're like, "Oh, yeah, having a tree giant as a roommate fucking slaps." You look at the list, and Rose Beard has signed up to be part of the field trip college student at SUNY LTC.

Julia: I love that name. What a cool name.

Eric: They are large size. So they're-- they're like 10-feet-tall. I will also say all of the doors, luckily, because of the head of the OTA, all the doors are at least 12-feet-tall, so this is actually perfect for them.

Julia: Oh, cool.

Brandon: So, my thought here is that, Julia, if you're leading the group, you can go and we can have a bug in our ears. And you can alert us when it is a good time for me and.

Amanda: Multitool?

Brandon: Stretchy pants can transport it.

Julia (as Val): So, I think Vulcani is just going to, like, bring those kids over and be like, "I just want to introduce you guys to Multitool and Kilonova before we do the tour. I figured they would be good people for you guys to meet."

Eric (as a College Student): Oh, hell yeah. I'm not going to tell you my name because my parents don't know I do this, but it's really cool that you did that.

Julia (as Val): That's fine. If you have, like, a nickname or a code name that you want to give us that's also okay. We don't have to, like, tell people our real names. Not everyone here is unmasked. And Vulcani gives the two of them a look.

Eric (as Big D): My nickname is Big D.

Julia (as Val): Okay.

Amanda (as Aggie): Okay. Okay.

Brandon (as Kilonova): Did you make that one up for yourself?

Eric (as Big D): Yeah, like, yeah, my friend. Yeah. What is the mood to catch on?

Eric: Well, yeah, you get-- you meet all the college students. They ask you questions about if you guys have an internship. What's January like up close? And Rose Beard offers very large wooden high fives.

Julia (as Val): Tight.

Amanda (as Aggie): Nice.

Julia (as Val): Well, alright kids, we are going to-- we're gonna go start the tour. Everyone can follow me into the building.

Brandon (as Kilonova): Have a good time.

Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah, well, we'll see you. We'll just be here the whole time. We'll-- we'll see you later.

Eric: And they don't say anything because they don't really care about friends of yours, so they just kinda wave and walk away.

Julia: Well, there are fellow superheroes that they might want to at some point do the big super little super program with so...

Eric: That's right. I forgot. I forgot. Yeah, you get a lot of-- you get. like. a business card.

Julia: Yes.

Eric: You get a lot of text messages from phones you don't recognize.

[Brandon snickers]

Eric: Vulcani and the teens can go on it.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon: And now we also have plausible deniability about where we were during this time.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Very true. Very true.

Eric: Wonderful.

Julia: Brandon, this is more of a mechanics question. Can you also bring people along with Transport via Plants?

Brandon: Anyone who touched the plant, yeah, so Lou also.

Julia: Oh fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, then let's go.

Amanda: It's a great spell. I love that.

Julia: This is awesome. I love this.

Amanda: While we're outside, I would love to just do a perception check on the outside of the building. Specifically if there's any, like, fire exits or entrances or like a basement exit or entrance that I can see, anything apart from the main lobby.

Eric: What does Lay of the Land do? Your Multitool's background.

Amanda: Background I've always had since episode one in this campaign. Lol, lol. Wink, wink.

Eric: Yeah, of course.

Amanda: Yeah. So this is that I one, get advantage on perception checks when outdoors.

Eric: Cool.

Amanda: And two, I get more details if I'm trying to identify what's wrong or out of place in the environment.

Eric: Got it. Give me that advantage roll.

Amanda: Okay, first roll is 17. That also is 17. Wow.

Eric: Yikes.

Amanda: +6. So, how does a 23 smell?

Brandon: Sounds pretty good to me.

Eric: How does it smell?

Amanda: How does it smell?

Eric: It smells like get fucked Eric.

Amanda: No, it's like money.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, the money, cash. Um, let's see. There aren't, like, fire ladders and exits. It's very much a concrete stone edifice, but you do see that on the second floor, there's a window open.

Amanda: Oh-ho.

Brandon: I don't like the, like, placid smile Eric has on his face right now.

Julia: He's like, "There's a window open. Nothing weird about that."

Eric: As Hank told Milo, that's where, kind of the main offices are. And you can see that there-- there is, like lobby, level two, level three. That seems very clear to you that, like, that's not obscured in any sort of way. This is a cube --

Amanda: It's a three-storey building.

Eric: It is a cube, three-storey building. Like, that's not tricky in any sort of way.

Amanda (as Aggie): What do we think guys?

Brandon (as Kilonova): Do you want to stretch up there and see if you can see anything?

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I think that without really pausing to contemplate, Aggie is going to just casually stretch from her legs all the way up and peer in the window.

Brandon: I love that. In my head, Aggie's just kind of, like, whistling while she ascends.

Amanda: Oh, yeah, just looking around. Oh, a tree. Nice. Oh, a bird.

Brandon: Just getting a good stretchin’.

Amanda: Oh, yeah, just a good stretch.

Julia: You whistle but it sounds like a slide whistle when you stretch.

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Eric: So, Aggie goes [stretching sfx]. Make an investigation check for me.

Amanda: 12 + 4 for a 16.

Brandon: I'm gonna cast guidance on you as well, so you can have a 1 D4.

Amanda: Oh, thanks.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: +2 for an 18.

Eric: 18. As you stretch up, you-- you-- the window is not just open-open, there seems to be a grate that is on top of it. And also like a, like a screen, but you are looking into a supply closet. That's because it has various office stuff in there and the door is closed.

Amanda: I'm going to turn my head, wink at Milo, and then become a puddle. I'm going to pour myself in the window onto the floor of a supply closet.

Julia: Oh my god.

Eric: Incredible. What? Remind me what is that.

Amanda: So, this is my new stretchy form called Fluid State which is essentially that I can do Gaseous Form, but instead of a gas that floats I am a liquid that slushes.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Incredible. Yeah. You slush in through the grate.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: In of like gooey.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Into the supply closet.

[Amanda hum sin agreement]

Eric: In the supply closet, yeah, you look around, there is a-- it's just a lot of, like, pens, pencils, regular office stuff, but you also see on the bottom of the metal metal shelving, there is an introductory packet for new recruits.

Amanda: Can I, like, goo it? Can I, like, goo it open? Can I read it? I'm picturing two googly eyes floating in a smushed Aggie puddle.

Brandon: Like a Ditto?

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah, like a Ditto.

Eric: I'm also interested. It's just two eyes, a smile, and go you're out. Yeah, you can prop it up and read it if you'd like.

Amanda: Yeah, what do we got?

Eric: Hell yes. In the introductory packet, it's just a-- really a folder and it says,"Welcome! Everything we tell you now is a secret." There is an org chart, so with Indun at the top, below that is a Golden Feathers; who is the head agent.

Brandon: Is that a codename or their real name? Or do we not know?

Eric: That's all it says. It's golden feathers.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: And below, it says head agent.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: There's also a map of the building, we've got to do some introductory, like, descriptions of everything. So, on level three is the Executive suite, Auxiliary offices, Electrical, and IT. On level two are the main cubicles, the kitchen. There are the meeting rooms and the supply closet, which you're in. On level one is the lobby, where sometimes-- and then there's, like, a little paragraph about sometimes they give tours. And there's some, like, you know, for the public galleries. That is also where the elevator bank is. And the-- there's a security station and security room on level one. There's also-- then they say like, there are also basement levels that you will be called down to if needed. Level B1 and B2. B1 is the-- the visitor suites for people who are out of town who can come and stay at the OTA. B2 are the Al Gore Memorial meeting rooms.

Julia: What?

Brandon: Did Al Gore die?

Eric: It just made the-- I don't know what to tell you. That's what it's named.

Amanda: You know he canonically lives in Laketown city. They're just remembering his contributions.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: No, what if-- what if the Al Gore that we know guys is a robot?

Brandon: That would make sense why he's hyper focused on climate change.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: And then below that there is a level called HS. HS, they say, like, it's like you do not have clearance to HS. If you find yourself there, immediately turn back. This would just be complicated for you, don't worry about it.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: That's really mean.

Amanda: Printed in a pamphlet? Incredible.

Eric: It's like yeah, don't worry about it in front of the pamphlet.

Julia: Is there also, like, a– sometimes there's, like, you know, these pamphlets have, like, versions, like, on when it was last updated.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: Well, Julia, without-- before you roll anything, my thought is if Hank Lane's name is not included in this, and if this person; Golden Feathers is there instead, I'm thinking this is the updated version. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Brandon: Smart.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon: Smart.

Julia: That's a great point.

Eric: Amanda said what I was gonna say.

[Amanda cheers]

Brandon: Sherlock Aggie over here.

Eric: So, you're gonna assume sometime after Hank left, this was updated.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: And then oh, and then also in the folder, there is a-- kind of looks like a-- like an old subway coin. I don't know if you've seen this before, but it's kind of like the size of a quarter. It's gold and it kind of has the stamp of what looks like– kind of a well, a ghost cat. I guess the only thing I can say is that a ghost --

Amanda: What?

Eric: -- cat is stamped into this coin.

Amanda: What the fuck?

Brandon: Oh my god, did-- did Hank, like, make Tuna the, like, unofficial mascot of this fucking.

Eric (as Tuna): I did so many photoshoots. They were secret.

[Julia laughs]

Eric: So, that-- that is, like, taped on the folder.

Amanda: I want to take it.

Eric: Yeah, take it. Sure.

Amanda: Alright.

Brandon: Does this folder have anyone's, like, name on it? Does it say, like, you know, like, on a script where it says, you know, x's script?

Eric: No, because this is in the supply closet. This has, like, all of the names are, like, but have blank, so these are just like kind of --

Julia: Spare ones.

Brandon: Great, excess ones.

Eric: They are spare ones that will be given to new agents as they join.

Brandon: Wonderful.

Eric: Brandon, do you want to do anything? Or Amanda, do you want to go back? Like, where you guys at and then we'll go over to college kids.

Brandon: I would suggest coming back, so we can-- my thought is Vulcani will find the best point of entry for us, and that we can transport in.

Julia: I think if Aggie's already in the building, risking having her come back is, I don't know.

Brandon: I don't want to pull it up too early. We can avoid it, you know.

Julia: I think there's a lot of ground to cover, though. I don't know. Because like, part of me is just like, I want information very badly. And so, like, having someone who's already up near the executive suites and also could figure out what the fucking mystery of the roof is would be very exciting and very good.

Brandon: That's true.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: While we try to handle the basement.

Brandon: Okay, but I want to, on the record that, I suggested not splitting up, so when we all get killed individually. It's on Julia.

Julia: Okay, fine. I'll take it.

Eric: Sorry. Thank you for reminding me. There's also a note when on all the levels, it says, "Roof access will also be provided with a manager. You will be oriented sometime in the next few weeks." Thank you for reminding me.

Julia: Alright, just table talk very quick. I want to run through, like, things that we probably should do once we're all in the building. Doing something about security, number one. Whether that is cutting the power, which I think Amanda, you're already on the floor with the power, correct?

Eric: Power is on level three.

Amanda: It's one above me.

Julia: Alright, well, you're closest at this point, or we should somehow take out to the security room?

Brandon: I think it needs to be more targeted because if we just cut power then, like, it's a secret of government. They're gonna panic, you know?

Julia: Yeah, yeah.

Amanda: Yeah, I think it's wise to talk about but I also fear that any sort of anomaly, like, they would definitely have protocols to just, like, shut everything down and prevent egress. So, I think that, like, the tour group is a perfect red herring for you to, like, gather information from what you can see and to just like, literally be in the building and be allowed to be there. Like, if any of us, like, I could picture a scenario where, you know, either me or Milo are kind of, like, being chased and then we can be like, "What? Like, we're here for the tour. Like, what are you talking about?" Like, it-- it's a good kind of potential escape route, because I also think it's gonna be hard to get out of here.

Julia: Yeah. I also have, like, fucking great sleight of hand, so I can be like, pickpocketing shit or sliding things off of desks.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: Alright, cool.

Brandon: I was gonna suggest someone try to swipe an access card or something.

Julia: Right. Okay.

Eric: Lou is also going to join the tour group because Lou is like;

Eric (as Lou): Yeah, I look 18.

Julia (as Val): Yeah. And Val just writes her name on the list, being like, "Yeah, you're on the list now."

Eric (as Lou): Hell yeah. College credit.

Julia: College credit.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Do we want to put Lou in that situation where Lou is, like, confirmed to be there? Like, wouldn't Lou want to stay off a record and like, have the alibi of being outside?

Eric (as Lou): I think Lou would say like, "No, like, wouldn't it make sense for me to go with kids who are my own? Like, I have an alibi. I'm-- I'm on this --

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: -- I'm on this thing.

Julia: That is her alibi. Yeah.

Eric: Cool.

Julia: We got separated from the group. My bad.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric (as Lou): Also, no facial recognition has ever seen my face, so I think that I'm good.

Julia (as Val): That's fucking tight.

Eric (as Lou): As Lou-- Lou makes eye contact with Milo and then, like, touches an invisible button and shifts through, like, five different faces that she could be. "Nah, see, I'm fine."

Brandon (as Kilonova): Lou, that is the coolest thing.

Julia (as Val): We need some of those at some point.

Brandon (as Kilonova): Yeah.

Julia (as Val): BT Dubs.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric (as Lou): No, it's mine. You can't have it.

Brandon (as Kilonova): I will pay you $40.

Eric (as Lou): Oh, millennials are so, so awkward.

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

[Midroll sfx pings]

Eric: Hey, it's Eric. I am having really good feelings about 2022 so far. I know that, like, nothing has changed in terms of, like, everything going on. But I feel like everyone is meeting head on. We're prepared. We are stronger, have a little bit more defenses than we did before and we know a lot more. 2022 can definitely be our year. Welcome to the midroll. You can make fun of me and clip this if I'm totally wrong, but I'm feeling good so far. Thank you to all of our patrons, especially the new ones like DoctorTargaryen, Sophia, Joshua, HartAttack87, Richie, Frederike, Colin, Kristyn, and Cecilia. 2022, we are so grateful for all of you who are supporting Join the Party. If you want to be a part of the nicest, kindest, and dice eating us community on the internet, you got to join the Patreon at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. You get discord access, you get party planning episodes, you get playlists, you get early episodes, and a whole lot more. And I gotta say, this might be the best time to join, because change is on the horizon. And we need every single Patreon member to make this into a reality. More to come soon. Watch out in the next bad Tuesday. Campaign is coming. Join at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. I also think you should check out all the other shows that are part of the Multitude Collective. I think you'd like The Newest Olympian. Is Percy Jackson the YA series we should have been reading all along instead of that other one with magic? Probably. Join Mike Schubert, a first time PJO reader on his quest to find out in The Newest Olympian. Each week, Mike chats with a longtime Percy Jackson fan to cover a portion of the series. They'll recap the plot beat-by-beat, dive into the Greek mythology and sing the praises of Percy's incredible snark. New episodes every Monday. Oh, and you can pair that with Spirits that's doing Greek mythology right now. That's awesome, is that you have multiple podcasts to listen to. 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[Midroll sfx pings]

Eric: Hell yes. Alright. So, what do you guys want to do?

Amanda: Yes, I would love to go to the roof and then try to go to the very basement.

Julia: Okay, yeah, I think that's probably our best bet.

Eric: Yeah, cool. I also rolled the two and you don't hear anyone coming. You see it's pretty silent on level two.

Julia (as Val): Tight. Get up to that roof, Aggie. See what's up there.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, I mean once I, like, float the coin toward the pocket of my-- one of my many pockets.

[Eric talks gibberish]

Amanda (as Aggie): I'm going to-- I'm going to slide under the door and continue to, like, puddle my way toward the elevator.

Eric: Sure. Yeah, you slushed under the door and there's just a little Aggie puddle flowing down these, like, cubicle gray $2.

Amanda: Industrial grade carpet.

Eric: $2 a square carpet. Yeah, just picking up lint as your slush.

Julia: Bro.

Amanda: God, it's so linty.

Eric: Alright. Vulcani leading a gaggle of college students and Lou. You walk into the lobby, the front doors of the Office of Technology Assessment with the leaves of Rose Beard just brushing against the ceiling. Inside in the lobby, it kinda-- it looks like a fairly standard, like, office lobby. It's large and cavernous with mar-- lots of marble. And like, materials that when you walk on them with high heels definitely goes click clack click clack. There is a very large water feature over to the side with kind of some general bushes and indoor plants flora. It kind of is like a large waterfall that comes from the top of the ceiling and goes, like, all the way down and splashes into, like, some jagged rocks at the bottom. It's-- it's quite majestic, honestly,

Amanda: Does the waterfalls span multiple floors or is it just like a-- like a tall ceiling to lobby?

Eric: It is a tall ceiling lobby. Good question. No, no, no.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Damn it. Fuck.

Eric: There's a security desk up in the front where, like, you need to scan your keycard and then eventually then they'll let you in, one of those automated stuff. You see that there's also, like, that gallery that Aggie described off to the side. And you see that there is an elevator bank kind of like past the security guard desk.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: All of the kids are looking around, taking photos. Sometimes they're in them, sometimes it's just, like, "Check on that marble. Nice." And they're kind of just like all looking around waiting for someone with authority to tell them what to do next.

Julia: Cool. I think Val is going to, like, approach to the security desk or the, like, secretary's desk or what have you.

Eric: Sure.

Julia (as Val): And be like, "Hi, we're from SUNY LTC. We're here for the tour."

Eric: There is a black woman wearing a smart black suit with her hair up. She has, like, a chunky pearl necklace on and she has, like, really nice orange manicured --

Julia: Yes!

Eric: -- fingernails. And she just looks so good. Like, the nice-- the nice click clacking on the keyboard as she's typing.

Julia: She's looking sharp. This woman is looking sharp.

Eric: I love her. She's my new favorite.

[Players laugh]

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Being like, "Oh, wow, thank you. I did not know there was a-- a-- what kind of-- what it-- what is this?"

Julia (as Val): It's an extra-curricular, like, field trip for this college group. I have-- I think I have emails, like, saying that we had a tour today. She, like, shows, like, an email with, like, a calendar date set for today.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): So yeah, can I see that?

Julia (as Val): Yes. And it's something that Hitomi, like, either planned or put together.

Eric: Sure. Give me a deception check.

Julia: My specialty.

[Dice rolls]

[Julia snorts a laugh]

Brandon: Oh, no.

Julia: Eric, Eric, Eric

Eric: Yeah?

Julia: It is a Nat 20.

[Amanda and Brandon cheers]

Julia: +7.

Amanda: Oh, man. Oh, this poor lady at work.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Oh, they got this lady at work. Yeah. I think that you show it and she's like, "Um, yeah, just give me a second. I don't have anything on my computer, but there's no one really here. There's a-- there's a field day happening. Like, everyone in the-- almost everyone is-- is there." She kind of-- she looks around she's like, "I am getting time-- time and a half to work this."

Julia (as Val): You know what? You deserve it.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Thank you. I appreciate it. I-- I could-- I could use it. Um, so my manager--

Julia (as Val): You're doing a great job.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): I-- listen, I'm just trying. My manager isn't here. Isn't nearby, so let me see if I can message them. Oh, but you know, they're not gonna get-- they're gonna have their phone on them. They are really intense about the three-legged race.

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: Any extra gram of weight will slow them down.

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, exactly. They-- they go-- they go "Zero Dark 30".

Amanda: Oh no.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): They're gonna do that. So, yeah, I mean, who-- who is supposed to give lead to the tour? Is there-- do you have Michelle? Or is Devin supposed to do it?

Julia (as Val): I think it was supposed to be Devin.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Oh, supposed to be Devin. Of course, he didn't read it on the calendar.

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Okay. Um, you know what?

Julia (as Val): I kind of got that vibe that maybe he's, like, sometimes a little disorganized while we were setting this up. But like, you know, the problem is these kids are kind of booked for field trips for the rest of the semester, so we can't really, like, reschedule.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Sure, yeah.

Julia (as Val): They were all so excited to come here, you know?

Eric (as Desk Clerk): You know what, let me look into this.

Brandon: Hard cut the kids just, like, bored.

Eric (as a College Student): They're like, How much money did it take for that water? Is that tax dollars? Is that what taxes are? That's where taxes go? They point to the waterfall.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): You know, I'm just gonna let you through and then I'm going to keep looking into who's supposed to be doing this for, so you just come on. She, like, opens the gates, so you don't have to have to scan anything. She just kind of like opens, like, the security gate, and kind of just, like, ushers all of you inside, as she-- she's gonna keep trying to contact who's supposed to-- who's supposed to lead that. So, just-- just wait here. We're gonna-- I'll figure this out. Just give me a few minutes.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, absolutely. So, I think Val, like, turns to the rest of the kids being like, "Alright, everyone, come on through this way. Please. Please and thank you."

Eric: Yeah, they just, like, shuffle through.

Julia (as Val): Right. And then I think once they're around, like, through the gate, basically, I think Val is gonna, like, kind of walk around to the back of this woman's desk and be like, "Listen, I really appreciate it. I don't want to have to make you work, like, more than you really have to and I appreciate you taking the time to try to figure this out."

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Yeah, no, I appreciate it.

Brandon: Gentle soldier.

Julia: Yeah, no, basically, I want to get into a position where I can swipe her security card key.

Eric: Sure.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Yeah. Yeah. No, I appreciate it. It's just, you know, I'm kind of here by myself, so kind of a skeleton crew happening.

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): So, this is the best I can do.

Julia (as Val): Well, if there's anything I can help you with to make this, like, a little bit easier, just let me know. Listen, I worked with– in customer service, I understand so...

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Yeah, got it. So, is superhero-ing like customer service?

Julia (as Val): Really superhero-ing is customer service when you think about it because we are, like, providing a service. And you know, sometimes people when we're providing that service, a lot of times people are in, like, not the best position in life, you know?

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Sure. Sure.

Eric: Make a sleight of hand check.

Julia: Yeah, of course.

[Amanda hums]

[Dice rolls]

Julia: 23.

Eric: Jesus Christ. Yeah. The woman at the front, she gets, like, a slack message. And she's like, "Oh, you know what, I might have something here." And yeah, there is just, like, I don't know if it's hers necessarily. You know with a 23, it's not hers. It's just, like, as someone left their sec--, their-- their key card on the desk.

Brandon: Just like one of the generic ones that just works.

Eric: Yeah, this is the desk card. So I think you can just cre--. You can just swipe it.

Julia: Okay, cool.

Eric: Yeah. So yeah, you're inside with a keycard.

Julia: Great.

Eric (as a College Student): I think one of the-- I think one of the kids are just like, "Hey, where's the bathroom?"

Julia (as Val): Yes, I will. Like, do you guys have gender neutral bathrooms? Like, what's the situation bathroom-wise here?

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Yeah, there's just, like, a bank of single stall bathrooms. If you go down there, past the elevator bank, and then across from the security room, there's just, like, all those bathrooms are over there.

Julia (as Val): Great. Awesome. Alright, Jeremy, we're gonna go over there. Let's go.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Okay, and then Devin will be with you in a few-- as soon as I get in touch with him Devin will come down. I'm not really sure when, though.

Julia (as Val): Great. If I'm not back because you don't know Jeremy, but Jeremy takes a while in the bathroom, he calls it appointments.

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Julia (as Val): Anyway, so if we're not back immediately, just-- just have Devin take the group ahead and we'll catch up.

Eric (as Desk Clerk): Totally, it's fine. Do your thing.

Julia (as Val): You know what, I'm actually going to take the group to the bathroom because, you know, even if you don't have to go now you're gonna have to go later, so you might as well try now everyone. Alright, everyone, come on, bathroom time.

Eric: Bathroom time.

Brandon: Incredible.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, you can lead the group around the corner of the bathroom, so you walk past. As I said, they're single stalls kind of across from the security room. Can you make a perception check for me real quickly?

[Dice rolls]

Julia: Not my specialty. Come on. No, 4.

Eric: 4 total?

Julia: I have a +0 to perception. So yeah, 4 total.

Eric: Alright, roll again.

Brandon: Oh no.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: Okay, that was better. That's a 17.

Eric: Alright, as you walk over to the bathroom with a group of kids, you see the security room is across and you see that there's this kind of like, you know, there's some people milling around in, like, you know, dark blue jumpsuits that have, like, security emblazoned on them. And you also see hanging out in there are the Sommelier and Hardbody.

Amanda: What?

Eric: The Sommelier apparently has decided that her new outfit is just, like, little black dress that it's impossible that you can do anything in but it's very impressive that you're doing something in. There's like, slits on the sides of the dress so she can move both of her legs easier, and exposing her whole leg for pulling things out of it. And Hardbody is wearing a casual, all black jumpsuit with, like, Steve Buscemi faces on it, but they're also black so you can only see it when you're looking really close at it.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Like tone on tone Buscemi print?

Eric: Yeah, like, it's black on black Buscemi.

Julia: Eric, how dare you put her in an outfit that I want to wear.

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Eric: It's also very similar because Shannon Red Wine wore the Buscemi outfit when you first saw her at the museum put together by Byron Zorn, but that was, like, Buscemi on white. But this is black on black Buscemi. So, you see them hanging out in the-- in the security room. I also rolled a 4, and then I rolled lower than that. So, they're kind of just like chatting up with the security and, like, Hardbody's just like.

Eric (as Hardbody): So, like, what do you guys do for fun?

Eric (as Security Person): Paintball. Usually paintball. We do a lot of paintball.

Julia (as Val): Do I want to send in one of the kids who recognizes Hardbody to distract them?

Brandon: Not a bad idea.

Amanda: Great idea.

Julia: Okay. Who is the most annoying annoying kid from the meeting that I remember? Like, pestering Hardbody?

Eric: Roll a D20.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: 16.

Eric: With a 16, there's a kid who has the power; she does make fireworks and --

Julia (as Val): Jubilee, do you want to go in there?

[Brandon snickers]

Amanda: There it is.

Eric (as Jubilee): Be like, "What? Why would I do that?"

Julia (as Val): Do you remember Hardbody from the-- when you met me?

Eric (as Jubilee): Oh yeah, the one who did government contracts?

Julia (as Val): Yeah, she sucked right.

Eric (as Jubilee): Yeah, I guess.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, you want to go, like, fucking pester her because she's right in that room over there.

Eric (as Jubilee): I guess, like, what do I get for it?

Julia (as Val): Community service credit?

[Amanda giggles]

Eric (as Jubilee): Can I have, like, $60?

Julia (as Val): Yes, here. Val just hands over $60 immediately. Like, that's pocket change, take the fucking money, kid.

Eric (as Jubilee): Sorry. Did I say 60? I meant $100.

Julia: Peels off two more 20s and just hands it to her.

Eric (as Jubilee): Great, cool. Great. Oh my god. Mrs. Hardbody, do you want to see what I can do?

[Fireworks sfx]

Julia: Val just peels off two more 20s to give to her later.

[Fireworks sfx]

Julia (as Val): And then, like, Val text Milo like, "Come back. We gotta go."

Eric: While this happened be like, why are you? When-- The-- I knew the meeting was today when it-- it wasn't on the calendar, were you starting now? I wanted to– how I can help you with-- I can be a part of the thing. Stop exploding things!

[Fireworks SFX]

Brandon: And Milo's gonna touch a bush outside of the building and walk through it.

Eric: Hey, make a spiritual check for me, man.

[Dice rolls]

Brandon: I thought that was a 1 for a second, but it’s a 7.

[Amanda groans]

Amanda: Brandon.

Eric: What are you on now?

Brandon: I'm onto 4.

Eric: Wonderful. What does it look like when you use Travel via Plants with your ghost powers?

Brandon: I think it's more like a ghost portal for flavor-wise. Like, I think it's-- he kind of like pulls living energy from a plant and then --

Amanda: Can you, like, go ghostly energy into the place you touch the plant, zoom through its roots through the root system of all plants that touch each other up into the other plant?

Brandon: Yes, I love that. Okay. Yes. So, what happens is Milo sort of like turns into ghostly energy form and sort of goes into the plant and sort of, like, you see the little ghostly whispers fill each leaf. And then that energy sort of goes through the roots and then through the underground into the roots of the other plants and then he pops back out.

Amanda: Like how we thought emails worked in the early 2000s.

Julia: Yeah!

Eric: I was gonna say Tuna says that was just like laser floyd. I love that.

[Brandon and Julia snickers]

Eric: Hell yeah. Yeah. You just-- you floomped in and you popped out the back of Rose Beard.

Brandon: And I'm going to immediately try to, like, hide behind a wall or something. Like, immediately try to, like, be hidden.

Eric: Hell yeah. Make a stealth check for me.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: This is a very cool spell.

[Dice rolls]

Brandon: Another 7. 7 + 3 for 10. I'm gonna cast guidance on myself too then. 11.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: You, like, roll out tying your shoe.

Eric: Yeah, sure. Yeah, you fall out and then you immediately get down to tie your shoe. That's very funny. Yeah, I mean, the explosions are-- are happening in the security room. You look around and you seem like you aren't made so there's still explosions happening in the security room. And I think the Sommelier is just like.

Eric (as Sommelier): Can we not do 4th of July right now in here? Can we not do this? I think, and then you see the Sommelier, like, well, reaches down to their thigh and pulls out, like, a blanket. Like, she was gonna throw it over. Throw it over these college students.

Brandon: What I would like to do is sort of like walk quickly towards Vulcani. Do a quick handoff of the key card and is there either a-- I imagine there's, like, a doorway where in the lobby where, like, no one's allowed to enter unless you're an employee past that. Or is it the key card gets down the elevator?

Eric: Good question, Brandon. The keycard gets you in the elevator. The elevator bank is quite large. On the first floor, there is no employees only. There is/are stairs, if you would like to investigate that. But the– the elevator bank is kind of like a very large elevator bank. Like, six elevators that go up and down. Just kind of like an open lobby, but you've walked past that. And then there's-- there's a sign pointing towards stairs if you continue and go to the left.

Brandon: Cool. So, Julia, do you wanna go to the stairs with me?

Julia: Yeah, I'm happy to pass you off. I was gonna pass you the card anyway, because I'm gonna stick with the group.

Brandon: You're gonna stick with the group?

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Okay. Cool, then yeah, then I'm going to cast Pass without--

Amanda: I really enjoyed myself in this heist guys.

Eric: What?

Amanda: I really enjoyed myself for this heist guys.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: I'm going to cast Pass without Trace with mys-- on myself and on Lou, grab the key card from Vulcani and make for the stairs.

Eric: Wonderful. As you guys head down the hallway, you see and take a left. And there's stairs. There's a stairs going up and stairs going down. I don't think you have to make a stealth check here. But as you go around, you see that someone is standing in front of the stairs that are-- that is going down. There's also a sign that says, "Agents and employees only," next to the stairs that pointing down to B1. It seems that there's a guy standing there. Guy has his big floppy black hair pushed up with kind of like a basketball headband. He's also wearing incre-- very, very large and chunky, like 80s style wraparound sunglasses that have, like, the-- like, blue chrome reflecting back to you. He's also wearing, like, a blue jumpsuit that says security on it. This guy's, like, 6-feet-tall but looks like 5-foot 6 because he's standing there very unconvincingly in front of the stairs. He's also white dude.

Julia: Do an insight check on him, Brandon.

Brandon: Well, here's-- here's the problem, Eric, because I rolled a 1 on my spirit search.

Amanda: Oh, no. Oh, buddy.

Eric: I'm so sorry, buddy. Roll me a D10.

Brandon: That's a 10 baby.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Okay, um.

Julia: No.

Brandon: Fuck.

Eric: Interesting.

Brandon: Fuck.

Eric: So, Pass without Trace, you are this-- the shadows protect you and Lou? Yeah?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Okay. Are you just gonna try to sneak past?

Brandon: Well, I was gonna see.

Julia: Look down at yourself. Make sure the spell worked.

Eric: Yeah, you look around and the spell works. You're-- you're disguised in shadows.

Brandon: Does the elevator bank look clearer? Or is that, like, in direct sight of the security woman?

Eric: There is no one standing at the elevator bank because you need, like, key cards to get in. While there is in fact, this dude with this visor on, he is standing in front of the stairs.

Brandon: I think then that Milo would see that person and double back towards the elevator bank instead.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: Yeah, I would think-- I think Milo would do that and he would sort of zigzag through the crowd of teenagers to be lost within them first, and then go to the elevator bank.

Eric (as Lou): I think that, like, Lou is, like, trying to follow you and is, like, grabbing at your hand and being like, "Kilonova, what are we doing? Why? Why didn't we go to the stairs?"

Brandon (as Kilonova): There were security there. I think this way is clear.

Eric (as Invisible Cat): When you open your mouth to say there is security there. Loudly, very loudly, goes, "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so stupid. I didn't look ahead for what would happen." And this is just scream-- This is loud. This is very loud. Like, the sound of just a cat yelling but as speaking and you look up and there is, like, a ghost cat over your head. Not Tuna. Totally different ghost cat. This one's very fluffy and is more fluff than cat. And it's just yowling on top of you being like, "I should have looked where I was going. I'm so stupid." And I think--

Brandon: Honestly might be a good distraction.

Amanda: Is the cat visible?

Eric (as Lou): No, the cat is invisible and Lou's like, "What? Why? Why are you saying you're stupid?" And only the cat is visible as a ghost cat is only visible to you.

Brandon: Is it coming out of my mouth?

Eric: It is coming-- when you open your mouth to speak--

Julia: Don't fucking talk.

Eric: It is yelling over you. You are still saying what you're saying but the cat is yowling over you.

Brandon: Shit.

Amanda: Damn.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: Luckily, this is still competing with [Fireworks SFX] in the security room, but back from where you came you hear.

Eric: [In a muffled voice] "Hey, is everything alright in there? Is someone talking badly about themselves?"

Julia: Who is saying that?

Eric: It's coming from the stairs

Julia (as Val): Vulcani just steps up and is like, "I-- unfortunately, you know, depression really hits you in the college years, so a lot of these kids don't feel like they have a lot of self worth. Don't worry we're working on it. That's part of-- a part of the program."

Eric (as Security Person): Stepping up is the– the security guard with the visor and be like, "Ah, excuse me. I just-- I appreciate that you're going through this hard time as a youth but could you not scream about it and how you're a bad-- you're a bad man who was an idiot in an office. Who is-- who is doing that?

Julia (as Val): Don't worry about it. We'll-- we'll take care of it. We're sorry for disturbing you sir.

Eric: I'm so dumb.

Brandon: No, no, no. I don't open my mouth.

[Eric laughs]

Eric (as Security Person): Sorry, you're right that doesn't happen. Be like, Okay, what's happening here? Can you explain this to me?

Julia (as Val): We're a tour group.

Eric (as Security Person): Go. Go on. Tell me more.

Julia (as Val): We are a group from SUNY LTC, we are here to get a tour of the OTA.

Eric (as Security Person): Ah, interesting. Let me look-- I can look on. I can look at my--. I can look on my-- my government issued iPad to check that. Let me see.

Julia (as Val): Right. We had a meeting with Devin. He was supposed to give us a tour. We actually already kind of checked in with the woman in front.

Eric (as Security Person): That's fine. I can just check. I'll check it again. It's part of security, I guess.

Julia (as Val): I mean, you can check it but apparently Devin didn't put it on the calendar and she's trying to contact Devin now to remind him that he has his appointment with us.

Eric (as Juddd): Interesting. Okay, well, I can also look into that. You know, if you need me, my name is Juddd. Three-- three ds.

Julia: Mhmm. It's lovely to meet you, Juddd. I am so glad that we were able to have this conversation.

Brandon: They call me Triple D.

Eric (as Juddd): No one calls me Triple D. Only my family calls me Triple D. Do not call me that.

Julia (as Val): I wasn't going to.

Eric (as Juddd): It's a family name.

Julia (as Val): I wouldn't presume, sir.

Eric (as Juddd): It's certainly the-- I come from a long line of Juddd kins. I'm Juddd. Juddd kins the fifth so...

Brandon: The only job this man should go into was security. 100%.

Eric: 100-- 100%.

Amanda: Brandon, are you guys sneaking down the stairs as he's talking to Val?

Brandon: No, I think I have, like, put a hand on Lou. And we're sort of, like, frozen behind the tree, 10-foot-tall tree person. Just sort of, like, stopped,

Julia: Please. Their name is Rose Beard.

Brandon: Rose Bread, thank you.

Amanda: Our best friend.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: Alright, so I rolled to see if the woman at the front desk, whose name is Charlene by the way, because I love her and she's my favorite NPC. I've rolled to see if Charlene has put something on the calendar before Juddd looks at his government issued iPad. And Juddd rolled a 7 and Charlene rolled a 14.

Julia: Yes.

Eric: So, Juddd looks at his government issued iPad.

Amanda: Because Charlene is good at her fucking job.

Eric: Yeah.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Eric (as Juddd): He's like SUNY LTC walkthrough. Okay. Seems fine.

Julia (as Val): Thank you, sir.

Eric (as Juddd): If you have any problems, just let me know. Are-- are all of your students powered?

Julia (as Val): Several members of our group are powered, yes.

Eric (as Juddd): Okay, well, if anything happens, just please call me. I'm here to help. I'm also a powered individual so I can meet you, you know, I understand what's going on. And I think I'll be able to handle any situation that's happening here.

Julia (as Val): You know what, sir, you seem like someone with a lot of wisdom. Would you ever want to come talk to the kids for one of the meetings?

Eric (as Juddd): I would love that. I think I have a lot to share. I've gone through a journey myself. And I found-- I found strength and understanding through personal-- pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. And also, I shoot eye beams out of my eyes.

Julia (as Val): That's incredible. Very, very cool.

Brandon: I love Juddd now, he's my favorite.

Julia (as Val): I think Val gets, like, a little closer to him. And like, kind of like, under their breath is, like, so like, "I don't know how you feel about them bringing in these freelancers to work, Security when clearly you have everything handled."

Eric (as Juddd): I do have everything handled, but you know women superpowered, you need to fulfill a quota. You know, you know how it is.

Brandon: Oh, I hate Juddd again.

Julia: Oh my god, Val-- Val, like, tries very hard not to react to that.

Eric (as Juddd): You know?

Julia (as Val): Val just kind of nods being like, Well, I would hope that there's no animosity there because clearly, you have things handled and I wouldn't want them to be stepping in on your territory, you know?

Eric (as Juddd): Absolutely. Honestly, the thing that the OTA does the most is prevent the woke mob from coming in and ruining what we have to do so...

Brandon: No.

Eric (as Juddd): You know, whatever has to happen. But again, eye beams. I really can-- I really can just take care of it.

Julia (as Val): Incredible. Great.

Eric (as Juddd): If I take these glasses off, I will shoot you with the eye beam. So, I'm gonna need you to take a few steps back.

Julia (as Val): You know what, I'm good, but thank you. Thank you. I would prefer not to be shot with eye beams. Anyway, kids. Happy you were done with the bathroom now, right?

Eric (as Juddd): I also would prefer if you don't get shot by eye beams, so you have a good day.

Brandon: Every time you say eye beams, I know you mean, like, eyeball beams. But this man, I also definitely says that jet fuel can't melt eye beams.

Amanda: Yeah, I know, a definite 911 truth there. Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, for sure.

Amanda: So, Julia has Val vibrated through the floor of the lobby at this point. Are your fists small supernovas at this point?

Julia: I think Val has controlled their urges because there's children around and this heist depends on them keeping their cool.

Amanda: Good job. Good job. You deserve hazard pay.

Julia: Yes, they do.

Brandon: As soon as Juddd starts walking back to his post, Milo's gonna do some hand motions to Lou and just, like, like, a third base coach trying to get the person to come steal third. And then sneak off towards the elevator.

Eric (as Lou): I'm gonna see a blue got that. Lou rolled a 17. Lou's like, "Got it. Slide into third."

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Nailed it. Yeah, you can head towards the elevator bank.

Brandon: Great. Just wipe my card in.

Eric: Sure. There's-- there's no swipe on the outside, is when you hit the elevator and the, do you want to go up or down?

Brandon: I want to go down.

Eric: Okay, you can go down. You hit the elevator button and the door opens and then the doors closed and inside is kind of regular chrome elevator bank. And it says, [in a computerized voice] "Keycard required for descending down."

Brandon: Swipe the card.

Eric: Swipe the card.

Brandon: Oh actually, hold on, Eric. What does Dr. Morrow's ID card do again?

[Julia gasps]

Amanda: Opens all bathrooms in Laketown city.

Julia: Brandon!

Eric: You want to try to swipe Dr. Morrow's card?

Julia: Brandon!

Brandon: I suspect Hank Lane gave Dr. Morrow access, but I don't know if they've revoked that.

Julia: It was an OTA card, right?

Amanda: That's very likely. It's very likely that that opens all bathrooms at the Taffy stores and also every level of the OTA. Fuck.

Julia: Brandon!

Brandon: So, you know what, fuck it. I'm going to swipe Dr. Morrow's card first and see what happens.

Eric: Hell yeah.

Amanda: Yeah, dude.

Eric: You swipe it and it says, [in a computerized voice] "Hello. Where would you like to go?" There are buttons for lobb,. level one, level two, level three are for roof. B1, B2 and HS.

Amanda: Is that highly secret? What does that mean?

Eric: It did not get labeled.

Amanda: Alright.

Brandon: Milo thinks hard back to his grade school learnings where they taught him a little bit of ASL and he tries to, like, muddle through asking Lou, HS? What do you think?

Eric (as Lou): Lou says I-- [blows raspberry] I don't know. I don't want to mess up your whole hice thing. Wherever you want me to go, man.

Brandon: And Milo hits HS.

Eric: Hell yes. Vulcani, what are you doing?

Julia: I'm just wrangling these children. And then I think, once everyone has gone to the bathroom at least once.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia (as Val): I think that Vulcani is gonna go and check in with Charlene again and be like, "Any updates on Devin?"

Eric (as Charlene): You know, I think Devin is at the field day.

Julia (as Val): Yeah.

Eric (as Charlene): So, I'm not really sure why he would have been signed up with you.

Julia (as Val): You know what, he probably just messed the days up. And you know, --

Eric (as Charlene): Sure.

Julia: -- he's like, "This day's probably really important" and was thinking of the field day, instead of our tour, you know.

Eric (as Charlene): Yeah, he's really into the pie eating contest.

Julia (as Val): I would be too.

Eric (as Charlene): Yeah, you should see-- he puts away blackberry like nobody's business.

Julia (as Val): Now, listen, I don't want to put you in any sort of position where, like, you're doing things that you're not allowed to do. But is there any area of the building that I could just, like, walk the kids around and try to, like, just see a little bit of? Like, again, I don't want to put you in any position that we get you in trouble. Or if there's someone that could be, like, who isn't Devin could, like, give us our little tour?

Eric (as Charlene): Yeah, I mean, you could definitely walk around level one, but would you like a tour guide?

Julia (as Val): I mean, if you have one available. Certainly. Why not?

Eric (as Charlene): Sure. Yeah, I'll see if--

Julia (as Val): Who's your lowest intelligence tour guide?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Charlene): You know, there is not a lot of people around. I'm going to see who is. And Charlene clicks and clacks on her computer and says, "You know what? Yeah, you won a special treat. There's actually a-- our head agent is here. And I think that they can give you a tour. Would you like that?

Julia (as Val): I would love that. That would be so good. Val took themselves to distract them from not finding my friend.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: It's true.

Eric (as Charlene): Yeah, I will see if they can-- if they can figure it out. That sounds really amazing.

Julia (as Val): What is their name?

Eric (as Charlene): Oh, yes. Agent Golden Feathers will be more than happy to show you around.

Julia (as Val): Oh, awesome. I am-- I'm so stoked. If you could call them, like, immediately I'm sure the kids would be very, very excited to meet them.

Eric (as Charlene): Absolutely. That sounds wonderful. I will give-- I will buzz them. I will give them a call

Julia (as Val): Charlene you're the best. We're gonna recommend you for a raise. I don't know how it works around here, but you deserve that.

Eric (as Charlene): If you could petition Congress to give us more-- more money in our secret budget, that would be great.

Julia (as Val): You know what, I will talk to our senator and our house representative, and we'll see what we can do.

Eric (as Charlene): Yeah, the fact that we're paid out of the secret budget is honestly wild. I just don't really.

Julia (as Val): It really just makes it harder to advocate for yourself, right?

Eric (as Charlene): Exactly. Exactly. Oh, you got-- you on- Thank you Vulcani for saving me from today.

Julia (as Val): Charlene, you've saved me.

Eric (as Charlene): Incredible. Maybe I'm the superhero now.

Julia (as Val): You are. You're a superhero to me, Charlene.

Eric (as Charlene): My superpower is customer service.

Eric: Amanda, what are you? What are you up to? What's Multitool up to? So, you're slushing around level two, what do you want to do?

Amanda: Yeah, I am making my way toward the elevator bank. And I am definitely keeping an eye out to see if anyone has, like, a key card that they keep at their desk when they're not supposed to --

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: -- or a badge that's anywhere but otherwise, my plan was to hit the elevator button and try to go to the roof.

Eric: Sure. Why don't you make an investigation check for me, while I roll something.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: With a 17.

Eric: Okay, are you-- how quietly are you doing this, I guess is my question to you.

Amanda: Silent. I am a puddle rolling lint to lint towards the elevator.

Eric: Sure, make a stealth check.

Brandon: It just sounds like you're-- like rolling a lint roller slowly across carpet.

Amanda: Yeah, it does.

Julia: Yeah. What does Flubber sound like?

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: It's a 14.

Eric: Alright. With 14, I think that you slush over to someone's desk who has left their keycard out. Barbara Barbara Barbara has left her keycard.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Does OTA only hire alliteratively named people?

Eric: Well, you know, everyone in comic book worlds only have alliterative names, so unfortunately.

Julia: It's Stan Lee's fault.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: It is.

Julia: Props.

Eric: Yeah, you can slush up and you can grab her key card. And as you-- you slush up, you're sliming your way off on this desk and grabbing it. Hold on, I have to look some stuff up.

Brandon: You can Grugle it, If you want. I can tell you what it is.

Amanda: Oh. Yeah, let's do it.

Brandon: Yeah, Aggie wins.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: No-- no problems.

Amanda: Really?

Brandon: No errors. Yeah.

Amanda: I love that.

Brandon: Yeah, it's nice.

Amanda: It's much better than gieves.

Julia: The person who's about to walk in on Aggie is actually in the blinded conditions, so --

[Dice rolls]

Julia: -- it's fine.

Eric: As you slush up onto this desk, you hear the unmistakable sound of the flapping of feathers. Something you're very-- from being out on– on the fire stands of a raptor bird adjusting its flight path to dive after prey. If you're [wind rustle] and you take 20 points of slashing damage, which is halved to 10 because you're liquid, I looked it up. You take 10 points of damage, as you feel two massive claws scratch through you and then as your-- your own body, like, reforms around those holes.

Amanda: I would love to switch into a sheet and do sheet constriction, which is the other form that I got to do at level 11.

Eric: Oh hell yeah!

Amanda: Where I wrap myself as a sheet around my enemies, so I want to turn from liquid into a sheet and bundle up this bird like a soup dumpling.

Brandon: I love that. It's like a falcon when you put the little cute little hood on their heads.

Amanda: Oh yeah. And they should go right to sleep, so it's Amanda worth of DM. Bird would go right to sleep. If I successfully grapple them, I can deal two times my martial arts die plus strength or decks, whichever is higher.

Eric: Yes, make an athletics check for me.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: Well, I rolled a Nat 1, so I'm going to use my luck point.

[Eric snorts a laugh]

Julia: Good. Good, solid choice.

Amanda: Alright, luck point, I rolled an 11 + 1 for a 12.

Eric: Okay, and I'm going to contest that, I have a +3 to decks.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: 2. You roll a 2.

Eric: I rolled an 18.

Julia: Fuck!

Eric: Immediately just on the sense of being slashed by large talons, you flip around and you try to wrap yourself around the-- around the avian attacker but it swoops away from you and you hear the fluttering of wings once again [wind rustling sfx] as the bird settles. And as a sheet, you look up and there is a la-- a very large.

Amanda: Crumpled on the ground.

Eric: Yeah, crumpled on the ground. There's a large golden eagle looking down at you, has a little collar, and it's wearing a red tie, and looks at you and says, "You don't have clearance to be on this floor."

[Players scream]

[Amanda laughs]

[JTP Outro Theme Music starts]

 

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