We keep on diving deeper into the OTA building, with Vulcani and Multitool on HS and Kilonova and Lou on O2. The gang gets hoarding.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the party.
Eric: Multitool and Vulcani ran into each other in the upstairs stairwell, so the party kind of sort of tries to unsplit itself. They attempt to get into the lower levels to no avail, but Charlene steps in as Hank's person on the inside. After dropping off the queen bee, Charlene directed Multitool and Vulcani to a secret passageway underneath the waterfall that led right to HS. At the same time, the Sommelier chased down kilonova and Lou as they descended deeper into the OTA. The Sommelier created a refrigerator and smashed it against their elevator with Lou caught in between as kilonova told her to escape. Luckily, Tuna reduced the damage and Kilonova began his revenge plot, while the Sommelier escaped back up the elevator shaft. Always remember what your animal companions can do. Let's get the party started.
[Join the Party theme music plays]
Eric: Vulcani and Multitool, you are standing on the edge of hopscotch, staring deep, deep, deep down dark into the infinite nothingness that is in front of you, if you do not hop your scotch correctly. And there has to be a very angry, very red, sharp speech bubble that cuts in front of your eyes from off panel. Kind of at the bottom of hopscotch on the other side of the room is the Sommelier holding two crowbars that she's just pulled from out of her legs. Pale and seemingly scarred and seemingly like she just saw, you know, saw a ghost. You know, with tasteful rips in her little black dress. I'm looking at the fucking comic book artist who's making this. You better be tasteful. This is a kid show.
Brandon: No boob windows.
Eric: No boobs. Yeah, a boob window has ripped.
Julia: Only for Milo.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: Yeah, only for Milo.
Eric: I love the idea of a boob window being ripped into this dress to make it a different type of dress. It's now a bodycon dress. Very impressive. So maybe you see angry red letters in front of your face. As from the other side of the room, the Sommelier screams.
Eric (as Sommelier): Alright, stop. I know you're here. I know Kilonova is here. Let's just take a second please.
Eric: Then clatter clatter as she drops the two crowbars and they kind of just, like, disappear.
Amanda (as Multitool): You know, an automotive jack would have been a lot more useful, but I'm not gonna yell that out.
Julia (as Val): Don't-- Don't tell her. Don't make her life easier.
Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah, I'm learning.
Eric (as Sommelier): Are you criticizing my tools Multitool?
Julia (as Val): You can't hear from here.
Eric (as Sommelier): I know-- I know what you're doing. That's your whole-- I have a-- I have a dossier on your whole shit. Believe me if I had pulled a fuckin' eggplant parmesan out of my face you would have had something to say about it.
Julia (as Val): Probably.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah. So, why don't-- can we just-- you want to meet in the middle? What do you want to do here?
Julia: I think Vulcani looks at Multitool just kind of shrugs like.
Amanda (as Multitool): How about you-- you take a paid break and say that we incapacitated you and we get on with our day and you get on with yours? I can tie you up real loose, leave you with a snack.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia (as Val): Do you-- do you have snacks? Can I get a snack?
Amanda (as Multitool): I pull some loose almonds out of one of my pockets.
Julia: Oh fuck yeah!
[Brandon and Eric chuckles]
Julia (as Val): Protein! Let's go!
Amanda (as Multitool): Keep that blood sugar up.
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay. That's a really interesting point.
Eric: Amanda, would you like to make a persuasion check for me?
Amanda: Yes, I would.
Eric: Val, do you want to help?
Julia: Yeah, of course.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I think Val is like.
Julia (as Val): Oh, we'll even, like, consider using your updated rate card instead of last time I used your not updated one.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah, that shouldn't be swimming around on LinkedIn. That one's on me.
Julia (as Val): No, no, no. Listen, I kept it to myself. I didn't tell anyone.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): Fair. That's fair. See, it's so much better working with someone who understands logic. I know. Is there a descending order of logical people on your team? There must be.
Julia (as Val): I mean, I think I feel like Multitool and I are tied.
Amanda (as Multitool): I agree. I agree.
Julia: (aw Val) In general.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Val): Is that fair?
Eric (as Sommelier): That's fair. It averages out to three logical operatives. Okay.
Brandon: And then you do a hard cut zoom to Milo and he just feels a pang in his chest as he sobs.
Julia: Because you're stuck in a floor?
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Eric: Yeah. You're clipped into a floor and Lou is poking you between the eyes.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Alright, my first roll is a 7.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: The next one was a 6, so that's a 12 + fame is a 14.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, I think the Sommelier says.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah. Okay, that sounds, yeah, that sounds great. Can you-- Why don't you just leave me on that side and let me go. If you just let me walk over and you can walk over and that's fine.
Julia (as Val): I mean, I would prefer to leave you on that side. And also, to leave before you do.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Because I want to make sure that you don't go get, like, I don't know, Juddd Judddson or something like that to come try to blast us with his eyes.
Eric (as Sommelier): With his eye blasters? Yeah, I hate, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Sommelier): Did he tell you that women weren't allowed on the internet?
Julia (as Val): Oh, oh, boy. Oh, boy did he say things like that?
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah, I gotta say not the worst place I've ever worked.
Julia (as Val): Really?
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Huh?
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Amanda (as Multitool): I gotta-- I gotta say, I'm not a big wine person yet but at some point, you know, we got to get into that. Listen, we're not going to let you across this bridge. We're coming your way and you don't have to come ours. Why don't you just stay right there? And we'll-- we'll join you and we'll do this over there.
Eric (as Sommelier): That's fine. Okay. Just to give you a heads up, the second one will move on you. So the sec-- the second cube will move on you, so go fast.
Julia (as Val): Good to know. Thank you.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yep.
Amanda (as Multitool): Okay.
Julia: Do I-- do I want? How far is it, Eric, would you say from the top to the bottom?
Eric: It is decently far. It's a pretty wide chasm. I don't love putting distances on things because I have a bad sense of distance, so I don't-- I don't want to be wrong. But I don't think you can-- you can't, like, jump all of it within a single bound.
Julia: Sure. No, I didn't think that I could Hulk jump this.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, you can't Hulk jump it but like, you could probably jump twice, three times and do it.
Julia: Okay. I'm just trying to gauge whether or not I can use Supercharger here, which is the bonus action dash.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And then also attack.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Or to grapple, I believe is also an option there if I did.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, you have enough space for you to-- you'll have to maintain momentum, I guess, and we can do some checks to figure that out. But that's fine.
Julia: Sure. So I think what I'm going to do, and Amanda, you have stretchy powers, I don't need to concern myself with how you're getting across, right.
Amanda: No, I'm good. I'm good.
Julia: Cool. So then what I'm going to do is I'm going to use my action to cast jump on myself.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: And then I'm going to use my supercharger which is a bonus action, which allows me to take a bonus action dash and then while doing so I can also attack once as a free action.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: That's a cool feature.
Julia: Yes, and that only works if I use my full movement for the dash, so I believe I still should be in an okay zone.
Eric: Yeah, so we're not in initiative, necessarily. So I think that you can maintain momentum with all this stuff. You can't jump on yourself. What does that look like?
Julia: It's-- It's like my fire powers, they come out of my shoes, and then I jump far.
Amanda: Ooh!
[Brandon and Eric giggles]
Eric: It's truly you're vibrating so fast, you're-- you're creating your fire out your shoes.
Julia: Yep, yep.
Eric: Hell yes.
Brandon: You're like Sonic, the hedgehog.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: I mean, basically. That was kind of what I was picturing when I designed Val, was Sonic and also cannon ball from the New Mutants. That whole vibe.
Brandon: Is that why Val likes chili dog so much?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Is that why Val loves to go fast?
Julia: No, has a need for speed.
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: It's funny because Val's nickname was also knuckles.
Eric: Hey, there you go!
Julia: Knuckles is my favorite Sonic character, so there it is.
Eric: See Brandon, we've grown over time that you don't even have to make that sound better. Amanda just said it clearly.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: New year new me baby!
Eric: So, Julia, what I would love to make you do is I would love you to make three athletics checks. Two to maintain momentum and the final one is the kind of dismount as it were. So, let's make-- why don't you make three athletic checks and tell me what they are in a row?
Julia: Sure. But just for you and the audience, I have a +8 to athletics.
[Amanda cheers]
Brandon: That's rather high.
Julia: So, the first one was an 8. A 16.
Brandon: Great.
Julia: Second one is a 28.
Eric: That's high.
Julia: Third one is a 21.
Eric: Hell yes. Please make a dexterity saving throw.
Julia: Yes.
[dice rolls]
Julia: Oh, an 18 +1. 19.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay, so I think what happens is that you get a real big running start. And I assume you tuck and roll and you use your spin dash.
Julia: Oh yes.
[Eric chuckles]
Julia: You can see my spikes coming out.
Eric: You got the Chaos Emeralds.
Julia: Oh, my ring stay in me.
Brandon: That's good.
Eric: I love it. Yeah, you have 10 rings on all of your fingers and you're, like, if you get hit, you're like, "No, my rigs!" and I have to cut my rings.
Amanda: That's why they're named knuckles.
Eric: There it is. Yeah, I think you take a big running start and you leap and off of your feet like your rocket blaster is attached to your feet. You will speed forward. I think it might be a little fast on the first one. And you do end up, like, you jump from cube 1 then you try to skip cube two because of what the Sommelier said. I do think that you put your foot down on it and just use it just, like, a little bit-- a little touch to hop off and then you also see that the cube, like, spins down one to the right. Like, from where you put your foot on it and then, like, like, it's a--
Brandon: Gonna die. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, like a-- like a– like an actual die. Like, it goes from, like, one and then flips down, so two is up. And you're just– like, step off of it but then you just keep going forward, you jump from three to five easy, no problem, with your 28. And you-- you dismount into, you know, here's another So--. I don't know another Sonic Move. You ground pound.
Julia: Okay. Great.
Eric: Like Sonic does. And then, yeah, you land. Would you-- would you like to take that final attack?
Julia: I would like to grapple the Sommelier.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, I think the Sommelier is going to struggle because she didn't see that coming, but why don't you do a grapple attack for me?
Julia: Sure. Is that just a strength check?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: If you want to mollify her, you can also say, like, for the cameras or something like that.
Julia: Yeah, sure.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: Sure.
[dice rolls]
Julia: Dirty 20.
Brandon: If you want to murder her you can just stab her.
Julia: I'm not gonna do that.
[Amanda and Eric chuckle]
Eric: Oh, would you like to take her soul out of her body?
Julia: Is that a new power that I have now because I'm into it?
Eric: Yeah. You're like Dr. Strange. You can punch someone so hard their soul erupts out of their body.
Julia: Listen, I want that.
Eric: I rolled a 19, so I think the Sommelier, like, tries to pull, like, a big like, fucking Sledgehammer out of her body and swings at you. What is your counter and how do you grapple?
Julia: I think it's just, like, kind of a duck under and then grab the arm for, like, a hammer lock.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: You know? So the arm is kind of tucked up behind her and she can't pull out additional items from her body.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Sure. They're like.
Eric (as Sommelier): My-- my training kicked in, you know? Just gotta--
Julia (as Val): No, it's okay. I was coming at you pretty fast. I understand.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah, I wasn't anticipating you to fly at me like a blue cartoon hedgehog, but that's fine.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, that wasn't in your dossier, huh?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): No. Being Italian Sonic the Hedgehog was not in my dossier. No.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I got moves.
Eric (as Sommelier): It's true.
Eric: Ummmmm.
Amanda: Uh-oh.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: It's bad when Eric gets an idea and says um.
Eric (as Sommelier): You know, you look like someone. Did you guys-- do you went to high school with Hardbody?
Julia (as Val): Who is that?
Eric (as Sommelier): Nevermind.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): It's fine.
Julia: What is-- what is Shannon Red Wine showing off the fucking, like, year book for high school?
Amanda: Yes, Julia. I'm 1,000% sure that's happening.
Eric: 100%! You don't think Shannon Red Wine doesn't look good on your yearbook, like, once a week?
Julia: That-- that is wild. Truly.
Brandon: I just want everyone to know that hedgehog in Italian is Riccio.
Julia: Riccio!
Amanda: It's very good.
Eric: Thank you, Brandon. See this? Hey, advice to players out there. This is how you contribute when you're not in scenes.
[players laugh]
Eric: Check out Party Planning as we deep dive into how Brandon Google's when he's doing something else.
Amanda: That sounds like a great episode.
Eric: Yeah.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Oh, Amanda, what do you-- what are you doing on the other side?
Amanda: I'm gonna watch the blocks that Vulcani stepped on to make sure I don't get taken aback by the rotating one. I'm surprised that Sommelier told us the correct block, but I was kind of like, "Huh? Alright, fine." And I'm just going to use Step of the Wind and jump from block to block, so I can cover the whole distance in one turn.
Eric: Do you have enough-- you have enough key points for that?
Amanda: I do. That leaves me with one key point.
[Julia gasps]
Eric: Hot damn. Step of the Wind will definitely help you with that momentum. What does Step of the Wind look like here?
Amanda: I think that just for the art of it, it shows my legs getting stretchy. And my-- my legs, it's like a ghostly extension of them where they're not-- they're not actually stretched, so I can't-- I don't get, like, you know, stretching for no key points but I do get to take just, like, pretty naturally long strides. And so I just stride like Eric as my life partner you know I do in real life. I just stride from square to square kind of effortlessly.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: I didn't--
Brandon: Wait. Hold on, Hold the fuck up. Eric, does Amanda stretch in real life.?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: No, but my legs are very long. So often be like, oh, sorry, sorry. And then realize that I'm, like, taking steps two at a time or something.
Eric: Yeah, she has already stepped over me and an ottoman and, like, two pillows. And I'm like, oh, excuse me. I do love the idea of the body horror of all of a sudden we realize like your legs are too long.
Amanda: Yes, they are.
Eric: And you're just, like, walking from one to the other. I'll give you the speed. What? Will you make two dexterity checks for me?
Amanda: Certainly.
Eric: Just about keeping your balance here.
Julia: It's okay, you're dexterous. I believe in you.
Amanda: I am dexterous.
Julia: Heart of the cards.
Amanda: I'm Dexterous Lab! That's my villain name.
Eric: There you go.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Okay, what is happening with me? That was a 5.
Eric: Okay.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Then a 21.
Eric: Sure. Make a dexterity saving throw for me.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: That's a 24.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: 24. Okay.
Julia: Everything's fine.
Eric: Yeah, you take your big long strides. And again, you-- you go out of your way to try to skip two and you land hard on number three. And number three, then turns 90 degrees very similarly, on its side as well. You trip but you keep your balance and you don't fall to your death in the nothingness.
Amanda: Love that.
Eric: And maybe you grab on to it as it turns over however, weird stretchy body horror you want to save yourself with. And the Sommelier says.
Eric (as Sommelier): Oh yeah, I-- more of them are-- are turned. I just, I didn't know. I just-- I only knew about the second one.
Amanda: Once I get to the platform, I'm going to kind of dust myself off and say.
Amanda (as Multitool): Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I got a zip tie, I got some almonds. Anything else you need?
Eric (as Sommelier): Can I have more almonds? I can't-- The thing I can't do is pull food out of my body because that's weird.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): You threatened me with a fucking-- with fucking eggplant parmesan coming out of your face. And now you tell me you can't make food?
Eric (as Sommelier): What, did you have to go to a government training class for jokes? I mean, I did but I didn't know that everyone had to.
Julia (as Val): Was that-- was that really required?
Eric (as Sommelier): No, I tell you it was extra. They gave--
[Eric chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): No, the government gave me a credit at a local community college.
Julia (as Val): It was in SUNY Laketown city.
Eric (as Sommelier): No.
[Julia hums]
Brandon: One extracurricular for your government training.
Eric: Yeah. That's it-- There's like a.
Julia: And you take joke class.
Eric: Well, there's-- there has to be, like, an off brand joker who is like-- who is working off like, time to the government whose, like, an evil clown who's teaching you how to do-- It's like a stand up class. A corporate stand up class at a local community college run by an evil clown villain.
Julia: I hate that. I hate everything that you just said in the sentence.
Eric: Nickel face.
Brandon: Jesus Christ.
Julia: We're just gonna sit with that one for a second. Hold on.
Eric: That's fine. That's fine. I want everyone to sit with that.
Julia: Is it supposed to be like Pennywise?
Eric: Yes, Julia. Yeah.
Julia: Okay, I was just trying to--
Brandon: Or was it two-face? That's where I was going.
Eric: It's both. He has two different clowns on either side.
Julia: No! I hate it!
Amanda: I hate that.
Eric: There's like a desiccated, like, zombie cloud on one side and a regular clown on the other side.
Julia: My nightmare.
Amanda: Yoinks. I'm going to just shake my head at this exchange.
Amanda (as Multitool): Vulcani, let's uh, let's get her zip tied up. And then we'll-- we'll sit her down. I'll put the almonds next to you at mouth level just so you, you know, can eat it if you need it. And oh, by the way, do you-- do you know where they keep the, like, artifacts and shit?
Eric (as Sommelier): Hmmm. Yeah, the bottom floor in the research and development. You'll need a special. I mean, you can't just walk in there but you--
Amanda (as Multitool): Do you have a keycard on you?
Eric (as Sommelier): I can't walk in there. Only-- only a few-- only a few people can actually just walk in there and I don't have access. I'm just-- I just work here, you know? You have to go talk to my manager.
Julia: May I do an insight check, please?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Cool.
[dice clanks]
Julia: It's only a 13.
Eric: You get the sense that the Sommelier is not lying to you on this.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Even after she tried to get you to step on the third cube would kill yourself. Like, truly when the Sommelier said I just work here I-- that is the truly the most embodying thing. It's like, I could not help you. You have me wrapped up. This-- I would have to file a report. I don't have.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: I don't have access. They don't give me access to the incredibly super secret government stuff.
Julia: Sure.
Julia (as Val): Speaking of filing reports, and our appearance on perhaps security photos and stuff like that, how much to make that go away?
Eric (as Sommelier): Good--
Brandon: Three more almonds?
Eric: -- question.
Julia (as Val): Just please remember, I have your paypal information.
Eric (as Sommelier): That's true. That's a good point. I'm going to need a whole lot of something. Finally, negotiating! Oh, you know, all someone ever wants just to be paid off. You just--. It doesn't. That's all I really want.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I mean, I know you. I know your specialty. And your specialty is money.
Eric (as Sommelier): My specialty is getting cash. It can be a whole lot. And...
Julia (as Val): Also, as an aside, if you are looking for something that is also, like, non-monetary payment. There are options there as well.
Eric (as Sommelier): Oh, what-- what are we offering here? What's behind door numbers one, two, and three?
Julia (as Val): I don't know. I feel like I could line you up with some future work from people who pay better than I do.
Eric (as Sommelier): Interesting.
Amanda (as Multitool): Totally. We could get you, you know, a romantic getaway to a Firewatch station. That's just something I have access to.
Eric (as Sommelier): Ooh, romantic. Wonderful.
Amanda (as Multitool): Or-- or friendly.
Julia (as Val): Multi-- Multitool, I learn so much about you every time you talk.
Eric (as Sommelier): Wonderful. Ah you know what? Here's-- Alright, here's what I would like. I would like $100,000 right now.
Julia (as Val): Hmm.
Eric (as Sommelier): I would also like-- your you've been-- you've been um, hunting down that big, evil rich guy, right? Who makes the things and-- oh and... Runs around and...
Amanda (as Multitool): You know we have.
Eric (as Sommelier): So what I would like is if you have any sort of access into his inner files, or, you know, I don't-- I don't have enough time necessarily to think about the mechanic, the technology of all of it, but if you could give me access to kind of his whole thing, his computer, his-- his mainframe, I, you know, I don't have time to be a fucking nerd about it. But, you know, if you could give me access to that, I think I could-- I could forget about this whole thing and not, and maybe wipe your whole-- your whole thing from this whole thing.
Brandon: I don't think the Sommelier has ever used a computer.
[players laugh]
Eric: The Sommelier has other people to look at a computer for her.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: She-- she gets a TaskRabbit to, like, print out photos for her.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia (as Val): So here's the thing. No, we don't have that. Like, don't you think we would have, like, caught the guy if we had his, like, all his computer stuff.
[Eric hums as Sommelier]
Julia (as Val): But also-- but also consider for a moment, if you help us in taking a step towards taking him out of business, he is literally trying to put you out of business by creating freelance superheroes.
Amanda (as Multitool): Exactly.
Julia (as Val): That's your whole thing. And you're a real person. Those aren't real people!
Amanda (as Multitool): He is, like, review bombing our whole industry by making shitty superheroes that do a bad job and have the ability to appear with the perfect power at whatever situation they need right away. And it's giving the rest of us a bad name. Think about your long term prospects. This is a more dangerous threat, and we can make you a part of taking him down instead of ending up on the wrong side of that.
Brandon: I mean, your long term prospects aren't that good because I am going to kill you but...
Eric (as Sommelier): Hmm, interesting. Okay.
Amanda (as Multitool): You got a good thing going. You just started something out. You don't need somebody else, diluting the water and besmirching your reputation.
Julia (as Val): So really, helping us helps you in the situation in the long term and in the short term.
Amanda (as Multitool): And I will tell you that what we are trying to do here today, we're not-- we're not doing anything except making it easier for us to hunt this guy down and shut him down.
Eric (as Sommelier): Alright. I like a cash payment upfront. And then after that, I think the next job should be you're gonna take me and Hardbody and we're gonna come with you to-- I'm gonna, you know, we'll-- we'll work for you for free. If you bring us with you to kind of, like, take down this whole rich guy midlife crisis VC, pull the-- all these things pulled together. I think we have a deal here.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Sommelier): And we'll be on our-- it will be on your side and it's free. I'll even make up a coupon for you.
Julia (as Val): How about $50,000 now?
Julia: How much did John Paul give me? It was like $100,000, right?
Brandon: I think so.
Eric: You know what Val? Why don't we roll-- You know what, Julia? Let's roll for it, you know?
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Let's roll a 1D10 about how much of the money you've spent already.
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Hey, that's rude. I have a job.
Eric: That's fine. I'm not saying
[dice rolls]
Brandon: But do you know your pa-- your bank password? That's the question.
Julia: I rolled an 8.
Eric: Okay. You've spent 80 of this.
Julia: That's impossible.
Eric: You've got stuff that you have to pay for. Maybe you put money-- maybe you put money into Little-- into Little Italy. You kept someone's restaurant afloat. You've paid off mob debts.
Brandon: Into the program? Into the the little big--
Julia: Big supers little supers? Yeah.
Amanda: Moving deposit? That's 10 to 15 grand right there.
Eric: You also-- you took-- you took Hitomi to see Hamilton six times.
Julia: Why would I do that?
Eric: Because Hitomi loves Hamilton.
Julia: That's weird. Alright. I feel like after the third time I think we've seen enough.
Amanda: Listen.
[Eric laughs]
Eric: Julia has her head in her hands. So, you have $20,000 of it floating around.
Julia: Sure. Not, like, my own personal money and I can take out a loan.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Multitool): Listen, we've worked together before. You-- you actually have the upper hand right now. You can make sure that we get out of here scot free. You know where we live. You know our Twitters which basically is knowing where we live.
Eric (as Sommelier): Actually. That's interesting. I don't. I know where you live.
Eric: She points at--
Amanda: Non-negotiable.
Eric: Multitool.
Eric (as Sommelier): But I don't know where you live.
Amanda (as Multitool): Neither do we. Non-negotiable. Point being you make sure that we get out of here safely. No one's come after us. In 48 hours time, we will wire you $50,000.
Brandon: Is it been five minutes? Can I come kill her yet?
Eric: No. Unfortunately not.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): You are also on this security table looking like you're doing a lot of negotiating with two hostiles who you know you're supposed to be taking down. So, I think it's in everybody's interest actually, if the security tapes go away, and you get to preserve your lucrative government contract, we get to go take down John Press and we team up in some way doing that.
Julia (as Val): How much-- Hold on. How much is it to know who I am? How much is that worth to you?
Eric: Both of you make insight checks.
[dice rolls]
Julia: I rolled a 21. 17 + 4.
Amanda: 12.
Eric: Okay. Vulcani. The Sommelier. I love the idea that you still have her in a hammer lock this whole time.
[Julia hums]
Eric: And the Sommelier.
Eric (as Sommelier): I would look back at you with a smirk if I could, but you have me kind of locked up right now, so it's worth a decent chunk. It's worth a decent chunk to me. How about-- how about bring me on your next-- bring me on the next mission to take down John Press, however much you got in your pocket right now, and I want to see your face and your name.
[Julia hums as Val]
Julia (as Val): Aggie, give her the rest of the almonds in your pocket.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: Aggie empties her pocket. It's like 200 almonds.
[Brandon and Eric laugh]
Amanda: It's one of the thigh pockets. It's a big one.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: It's the almond pocket.
Julia: It's a really big almond. Oh man, do I want to do this?
Eric (as Sommelier): How about $20,000, your face, your name, I'm coming-- we're coming with you on your next mission.
Julia (as Val): Well, hold on, you said what's in your pockets right now as Aggie gave you the almonds.
Eric (as Sommelier): Sorry, I meant how much do you-- how much you have left here of that. However much money you have left plus those things.
Brandon: I thought you meant just, like, 1283.
Eric: Yeah, I need coins to go to the laundromat after this. If you have quarters, can I have those?
Amanda (as Multitool): Can I-- can I throw one more thing out there?
Eric (as Sommelier): Sure.
Amanda (as Multitool): You know what's even more valuable than money right now?
Eric (as Sommelier): Cryptocurrency.
Amanda (as Multitool): It's true.
Eric (as Sommelier): What if I said that? Wouldn't that be so funny?
Amanda (as Multitool): Well, it's-- it's the-- it's the potential of something in the future.
Eric (as Sommelier): Are you?
Amanda (as Multitool): What if--
Eric (as Sommelier): Aggie O'Hare, you are into cryptocurrency. No one ever would have guessed.
Amanda (as Multitool): No.
Eric (as Sommelier): I don't even think you know what a computer is.
Amanda (as Multitool): No, no. No way.
Julia (as Val): Aggie, no.
Amanda (as Multitool): I can't abide the environmental consequences. No, no, no. But what I can say is I, Margaret O'Hare, owe you, the Sommelier, a favor. That is worth whatever you make it.
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay.
Amanda (as Multitool): That will be the thing you need most at the time you need the most and I will show up and I will serve it.
Eric (as Sommelier): So, is that instead of money, is that instead of --
Amanda (as Multitool): That's it.
Eric (as Sommelier): -- Vulcani?
Julia (as Val): I'll give you $20,000.
Amanda (as Multitool): Vulcani, stop!
Julia (as Val): You get-- you get Aggie's favor and we're done.
Eric (as Sommelier): And we're coming with you on the next mission.
Julia (as Val): Fine!
Eric (as Sommelier): And we're coming with you on the-- on the John Press mission
Julia (as Val): Great.
Amanda (as Multitool): When we have John Press in our sights we will call you.
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay.
Brandon: Just quick table talk, guys. You don't have to worry about that last one because she is going to be killed by me so...
Julia: She's not because we're not going to let you do that quick table talk.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): Interesting.
Amanda (as Multitool): You can be on a desert island with a million dollars and that's not what you need right now. A favor is a favor is what you need most in the time you need it the most.
Brandon: Pretty good deal, honestly.
Amanda (as Multitool): It's all about leverage, right? It's all about options. It's all about who has the power.
[dice clanks]
Brandon: Think of how dope ass of a cape you can buy with $20,000.
Amanda (as Multitool): I'm making this offer last because I don't want to make it because it's the one that's most valuable.
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay, how about no money, Vulcani face, no name, favor, mission.
Amanda (as Multitool): But with the face you could figure out their name. Come on.
Eric (as Sommelier): Ah. Okay. Alright. I'm-- I'm not a gambling man. I know when-- I know when the deal is out there and when friends are doing stuff for other-- and when friends are putting themselves out for other friends and isn't that the best negotiating chip of all.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay, fine. 20,000 right now, a favor, and you're calling me but if you don't invite us out, I'm just going-- I'll...
Eric: And then an iPhone, like, comes out in the middle of her chest and it does a click.
[clicking noises]
Eric: Takes a photo of both of you.
Julia: I slap it out of her hand. No.
Eric: It's attached to her-- It's taped into her body.
Julia: I smack it so it breaks.
Eric (as Sommelier): It hurts. It's saved on my motherboard. I'm just-- I'm kidding. But if you don't-- if any of these don't come through I know exactly who to call about what you were doing in here and where it all goes.
Julia: Alright, fine. I transfer the fucking money.
Eric: Wonderful.
Julia (as Val): Who's gonna buy my girlfriend something nice but fine.
Brandon: One ticket to Hamilton.
Eric: One more ticket to Hamilton. Vulcani, you take out your phone there is no service down here.
Julia: Okay. I scheduled the payment so that when I get into service it sends and I show her on my phone blocking out my name,
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Sommelier): Alright, okay, that's fine. I'll take that. That's fine. So what, are you just gonna leave me here?
Julia (as Val): Yeah, we're gonna tie you up and then when you're ready, you can fucking leave. When we leave-- when we leave, we will untie you and then we will let you go after we are gone.
Amanda (as Multitool): Minimum, we'll tell Charlene where you are because she seems responsible.
Eric (as Sommelier): Okay. I'm not struggling. I'm not-- you can do whatever you want. Oh, the heroes got me. Truth, Justice, and all that other bullshit. Alright. As long as I don't have to file this on my tax returns is alright.
Julia (as Val): Fair enough.
Eric (as Sommelier): Actually, can you Venmo it to me? Oh, that's why-- you don't know what taxes are. That's right. That's in your dossier.
Julia (as Val): No, I don't know what taxes are.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): We'll figure it out. In the meantime, what were you doing in this elevator? Is that where-- is that where the rest of our team is?
Eric (as Sommelier): Yes. Kilonova and a high school girl are in the elevator --
Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah.
Eric (as Sommelier): -- down there. Just so you know, seems like he is trying to murder me. You should probably keep him from doing that if you want this whole negotiation where you just did to, you know, stick.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, that's fair.
Amanda (as Multitool): That's fair.
Eric (as Sommelier): Because with my dying breath, with my spirit ghosting out of my body I'll say the Laketown-- the LT3 are traitors and terrorists and defecting against Laketown city, the United States, homeland security blah, blah, blah.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. We don't want that.
Brandon: It's like she doesn't think that I'm friends with the God of Death. Whatever.
Eric: Why would she know that? Why would she know that?
Julia: She wouldn't know that.
Eric: She doesn't know that.
Julia: She doesn't know you know St. Peter.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Multitool): Trust for trust. We got it. But can I just-- Can make it look realistic. Just for a second.
Eric (as Sommelier): What do you mean?
Julia (as Val): Can I punch you in the face?
Amanda (as Multitool): I'm gonna punch her in the face.
Eric: Yeah, do it.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Oh, fuck yeah dawg.
Amanda: 19 to hit.
Eric: You get advantage because she's grappled.
[dice clanks]
Amanda: 19 to hit.
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
Amanda: It's just-- just 4 damage. Just give her a little bloody nose.
Eric: Yeah. 4. 4 damage right to the face enough that her mouth gets bloody and she spits on the ground. And there's a very fun panel of just her in black and white and then the blood in red. Be like.
Eric (as Sommelier): I bet this-- I bet this looks cool. Yeah.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda (as Multitool): Alright, see you on the flip side.
Julia (as Val): Alright, zip tied up and we'll go.
Eric (as Sommelier): Oh, no. I've been vanquished by the heroes.
Amanda (as Multitool): You got a podcast or something? It'll be okay.
Eric (as Sommelier): Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Yeah. Just use that iPhone that I punched on your chest.
Eric (as Sommelier): I don't. I think the playback has an error now.
Julia (as Val): Oh, no. What a shame. Alright, Aggie, let's go.
Amanda (as Multitool): Sorry. Bye.
Eric: Alright. Hell yeah.
Julia: I pry the doors open.
Amanda: Totally. You do that and I can just jump down the elevator shaft because I don't have a ton of falling damage.
Julia: Cool. I guess I'll, like, grab onto the cable and just kind of slide my way down with my strength.
Eric: Sure. Both of you make a-- why don't you make a check for me?
Julia: Okay. Do you like athletics? Is that cool?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. yeah.
Julia: Cool.
[dice clanks]
Amanda: How about acrobatics for me?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Hey, boy, Nat 20.
Eric: Let's go.
Amanda: Dirty 20. Twinsies!
Eric: Let's go. Yeah, it's pretty cool when you guys slide down. Like, and it takes a long time sliding down these elevator cables. They go-- they go all the way down.
Julia: What a waste of Nat 20s.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I know.
Julia: You do here just Val being like.
Julia (as Val): Aggie, look how cool the sparks are as I go down.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): That's Awesome. Look at my hands, they're like geckos.
Julia (as Val): They're, like, so flat. I love it.
Amanda (as Multitool): Thanks.
[Brandon and Eric chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): You think we could go on Shark Tank sometime?
Julia (as Val): Oh my god. Yes. We're so good at negotiating.
Amanda (as Multitool): I know. She thought she was the girlboss. Damn.
Julia (as Val): No, you're the girlboss, Aggie.
Amanda (as Multitool): Oh shit.
Julia (as Val): No but in, like, a good way. Non-derogatory.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Multitool): No. You're just the boss, Val.
[midrolls sfx pings]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. I have been really enjoying the different kinds of glassware that I have in my house and in the office recently. Having my tiny little sake cup that I repurposed to be an espresso cup, having the mug that I just used for seltzer and the one I just used for cider. And the ones that I use for different kinds of tea. I know it's kind of arbitrary and it just makes me feel special to have a little routine and say like, "Oh, I feel like mint tea today. I know. Let me get my mint tea mug." So that's what I am feeling right now. Welcome to the midroll. There are so many mugs available. First and foremost, welcome to our newest patrons over at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Kyle, Kayleigh, and Sophia, you are helping us get to our goal of 600 patrons. If we can get to 600, folks, we'll commission a giant comic book cover of all of the PCs and NPCs of Campaign II. It will be a free digital download for all patrons and available for everybody for purchase as a physical poster on our merch store, so go to patreon.com/jointhepartypod right now to become a patron. Or if you are, tell someone to join up. January Dice are also out right now, so go to the merch store and check those out. And remember, if you're a $10 patron or above, you can get 10% off all merch. Check your emails for the link and password to that special discount. So get the discount, order the dice, and help us get to 600 at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. It's also a great day to check out the other shows that are a part of the Multitude collective. I think you would love Head Heart Gut where we are debating right now the best comic book villain. If you wish you had more Multitude shows to catch up on. Listen, this is a weekly friendly debate show where we get far too intense about very small topics like who's the best comic book villain. Each month we take an iconic set of three items from pop culture or the world we live in and pit them against each other in our definitive survey of greatness that powers the first three weeks of each month. And then in week four, each contestant participates in a formal debate with a special guest judge. This month, Eric and Julia along with Sally Tamarkan are arguing about best comic book villain and Rube Droshan our new community manager is going to be our special guest judge. Head Heart Gut is exclusively for members of the Multicrew, our membership program that supports us at Multitude as we try new things, launch new shows, and keep the independent podcast engine going. So, join up at multicrew.club where you too can get access to Head Heart Gut. I am so excited, genuinely, to introduce you to our newest sponsor this week. This is the software that powers not just this campaign, but my entire life. It's Notion, people, we've been working on this, we've been planning for it. Finally, I get to tell you all about Notion. They are an all-in-one team collaboration tool that combines note taking, document sharing, wikis, project management, and so much more into one space. Eric has been using Notion for years to organize notes, NPC info, information, spell tables and way more for this campaign. And I switched over as well to basically run my whole life in Notion. I have bookmarks, journal entries, work notes, personal projects, and Eric and I also have a shared notebooks. It's very easy to collaborate for out grocery lists and vacation planning and apartment info stuff that we want to collaborate on. But then of course we have our separate notebooks so he can keep his damn notes very secret. I am genuinely so stoked to be able to recommend them. We love Notion. We have it up on our computers all day every day. They have emoji support, you can, like, name notes with emojis or add emojis to notes you already have. Oh guys, it's so satisfying. Learn more and get started for free at notion.so. That's notion.so to help you take the first step toward an organized happier team today. And finally, we're sponsored by Inked Gaming. Everybody has their go-to shop, right? Where you get your mouse pads, play mats, dice bags and other essential gaming goods. Inked Gaming is a great company to keep in mind for you. And they have joined our party, so to speak, this week as a sponsor. With such a large selection of premium gear listed on their site, Inked Gaming really is a one-stop shop built by gamers for gamers. You'll even find custom products in their collection that you can personalize with unique designs that come straight from your imagination or your home game. Having team inked as a sponsor is beneficial for us and our listeners because they're offering you exclusive perks in the form of a 10% off discount. All you have to do is go to inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use the promo code: JoinTheParty at checkout. The discount will then automatically apply to your order. That's inkedgaming.com/jointheparty and use the promo code: JoinTheParty at checkout. And now, back to the show.
[midroll sfx pings]
Eric: Let's hop over to our good friend Milo. I go from Milo and Lou. The elevator has come back on as Lou has reprogrammed it and it slides down and goes [in a robotic tone] Oubliette two.
Brandon: Milo is stuck on the floor trying to pass the time while Lou is doing her thing and looks up at Lou and is trying to make the moment a little bit better. And he says.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Lou, I thought of something I should have said on the hopscotch level.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, what?
Brandon (as Sommelier): Skip to MiLou. That's us!
Eric (as Lou): Fuck.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Lou): I wish Room was here to witness what just happened here.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Oubliette 2!
Eric (as Lou): I have two dads now. You and my dad.
Eric: [in a robotic tone] Oubliette 2, Human plus Resources.
Brandon: Do I need to get out of this floor still?
Eric: Yes, it's been five minutes. You finally are able to, like, unmaterialize your bottom half and you can shimmy-- you can unclip out of the bottom of the elevator-- of the elevator door. The elevator doors open and you're on human plus resources here. I think this kind of looks like a more of a classic 1950s 1960s style office. It's very Mad Men in here. Instead of like a-- like a staid kind of like fluorescent lights, you know, like white cork board, open plan office down here with cubicles. This is more of, like, 1950s 1960s, like, really that retro thing you kind of got stuck in your head. Like, everyone for some reason has an oak desk.
Amanda: It's mid century modern but with a shitload of ashtrays.
Brandon: Is there one of those chandeliers that look like-- like a jack? Like, when you play with jacks, you know?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: Those are called Sputnik chandeliers I just learned.
Julia: Really?
Brandon: Like a Sputnik chandelier.
Eric: Absolutely. I love that. You also see that there are a lot-- there are no computers down here. There's a lot of, like, leather bound journals and pens and pencils. You don't see any computers, you don't see any printers. Um, you also look around. There are a lot of posters that are up everywhere.
Amanda: This is before a motivational cat, so what do they-- what do they got?
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: One says “A senator is like a pencil, takes a lot of work to keep them sharp.”
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric: There's another poster that says "We assess technology not use it. No machines smarter than a toaster."
Julia: I love that.
Eric: Finally, you see another one that says "Remember your ABCs. Always be checking if this is the proper time stream."
Julia: Oh, no!
Brandon: Oh no.
Julia: Oh, no!
Amanda: Oh man.
Eric: And there are a lot of-- there are a lot of posters like this kind of spread out all over the-- all over the office.
Julia: These are very good by the way. You designed very good posters.
Eric: Thank you. I actually designed these posters. I will post them.
Brandon: What's that? They're in the merch store? Maybe? Who can say?
Eric: I can turn them in-- I could turn them into posters, that'd be fun. Do you? Is there anything you're looking for? I think you and Lou are just kind of like poking around as you walk in.
Brandon: Yes. First things first, I'm going to roll an apology roll for Lou. I got on natural 400.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Lou, I am so sorry about what happened. I promise that I will never put you in danger again after this without your, I guess you did consent to this thing. But you're still a child and I don't want to put you in harm's way and I apologize.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, um, I did want to talk about that because I almost died.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Yeah.
Eric: As Lou kind of, like picks up a journal and starts flipping through it.
Eric (as Lou): Didn't like-- I didn't like that, I'd say.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Yeah, me neither. I am going to murder Sommelier, so I did-- you didn't hear me say that out loud. Ah.
Eric (as Lou): You did. You did. You definitely. You don't have to do that. I didn't die and you did exactly what you were supposed to do, which is keep me from dying and then saving me when that happened. Honestly, I'm surprised that you decided to take me on this mission because, you know, I'm a kid and no one trusts me with anything so...
Brandon (as Kilonova): I trust you with a lot.
Eric (as Lou): No, I know you do. That's why I'm surprised. That's why I'm surprised I'm here so...
Brandon (as Kilonova): I think you're probably more capable than any of the LT3.
Eric: I--
[Eric chuckles]
Eric (as Lou): Thank you. No, thank you. No, I-- you have my back. I have your back. It's-- it's cool. Don't. You don't have to-- you don't have to take her soul out of her body for me.
[Amanda chuckles]
Brandon (as Kilonova): Well, here's the thing. I-- you know, I do have a good friend in the next plane so like, if I do kill her, I could probably just bring her back, but let's-- let's-- let's move forward. I'm going to.
Eric (as Lou): You don't have-- Don't do that. That's...
Brandon: I'm going to look at one of the journal.
Eric (as Lou): Don't. You can't just say that you know what happens when we die and then walk away!
Brandon: From the other side of the room you hear Milo say, "It's Anubis!" and then I pick up a journal
Eric (as Lou): What?
Eric: Make a perception check.
Julia: I really like the idea of Lou being-- not being like, "no you don't have to do that for me but, like, in the way that, like, when someone one of your friends offers to do something really nice that she knows is gonna inconvenience them you're like, "I don't want you to inconvenience yourself just for my sake."
Eric: Don't do that! Also Anubis is what happens when we die?
Brandon: Quick table talk here. I am going to, you know, go full Robert Pattinson Batman on Sommelier. Bring her into, you know, one hit point, zero hit points, heal them, bring into one hit point, heal them. Maybe kill them and cast Reincarnate.
Eric: Gah, that's worse!
Julia: I mean, you're certainly gonna try to do that.
Eric: That's worse! Let's see what happened. Yeah, Robert Pattinson versus the Sommelier. Let's see it. What did you roll on your perception check?
Brandon: Yes, I rolled a 16.
Eric: Cool. 16. I think you walk through this whole office and there are a lot of individual offices everywhere. They're all cleared out because again, no one is working, they're all on field day. The main thing that you notice in this room, as you kind of walk the whole-- you like, turn on lights they buzz to life that might have like real neon on them or something, and you notice that there's, like, on the far wall, the whole wall is taken up with what looks like a massive library card catalog.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: For those who don't know what a library card catalog looks like it's made out of wood, there's a lot of slots that you can, like, pull out in a cardboard or get a library card catalog, you'd be looking at the little note cards that would tell you where your book is. Right where on the Dewey Decimal System that is.
Brandon: For those Gen Z-ers, it's just the paper version of Google.
[Eric chuckles]
Amanda: Yeah. It's like a database but instead of, like, a couple of kilobytes, everything is an index card.
Eric: Everything is an index card, right. And they-- you have-- they have, like, little drawers, you can kind of pull out. This is like a library card catalog, but the entire wall is this. On the left side, there are smaller drawers. Maybe it looks a little bit more like the size of filing cabinets.
[Brandon hums]
Eric: And on the right side of, like, divided on the right side of the wall are much bigger drawers. And you see, like, some of them have been pulled out and they're empty. And then some of them are labeled. Kind of like, you know, if you go to something that has, like, a locker room, when there's, like, a smaller lockers and then bigger lockers. Like, all the smaller lockers are on the left, and the bigger lockers are on the right. You also look around and you see that a bunch of these drawers have been pulled out. And there's some stuff that's just kind of, like, laying around. You see that there's, like, a sword and a pair of skis. And like, what kinda looks like a toy ray gun, and a stuffed animal pig and, like, some boots that are kind of just like all splayed around this room. I think, like, in front of the card catalog, the massive card catalog, maybe there's some tables that these things are kind of, like, strewn out on. You look up and you see-- you hear a drip and you see that, like, there's a big water leak above you that is dripping down on these tables from above. And it's kind of, like, splashing all over these various objects. There's also, like, a lot of objects. I know I kind of listed six but there-- someone, like seem to have left all this out and didn't put them away. There's, like, 20, 25, 30 items kind of like laid out on these tables. For the D&D-er here, all of your gear is better than this. This is kind of like if you're-- if you're an RPG person and you pick up a sword when you, like, kill a guy and you're like, "oh this is a level one sword, I have a level 10 sword, like, why would I want this?" So all of these are kind of, like, mundane objects that are-- that are in front of you. Not necessarily magic items to all you game-sters out there.
Brandon: Is the water coming from the ceiling hitting anything? Is it like, sort of, like, shorting stuff out or is it just leaking from something above?
Eric: Good question. Uh, make a science roll. I guess what does that mean to you is the science.
Julia: Arcana, right? Typically.
Brandon: Arcana, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, make an arcana.
Brandon: 18?
Eric: 18. Yeah. The wa-- you see and you're looking at the water that's pooling and it's, like, it's not clean water. There's something dirty in there. And it is definitely all over these items that are on this table here.
Brandon: Hmm. Okay, well, I'm going to cast Destroy Water.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: And get rid of the actual water. I assume whatever's in the water probably will still remain but --
Amanda: Cool.
Brandon: -- I can destroy up to 10 gallons of water within range.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Wonderful. It'd be the water that is kind of pooled on this table. I think there's, like, a sizable leak here. It's like something. You know, we've all lived in apartments. You know, when the water leaks down from above, and it drips down for an extended period of time, it leaves a lot of water. So there is a decent amount of water. I can't say to you in gallons but enough that it's kind of, like, covered all these items that are out here. You kind of, like, dissipate the-- or dissipate all the water leaking down and the big wet spot that is above you.
Brandon: Great. Does anything happen? Like, does it change?
Eric: Yeah, I think um, why don't you make a nature check for me?
Amanda: Julia looks so stressed.
Julia: I am.
Brandon: 10.
Eric: 10. Yeah. Hey, dawg, you cleaned the water up. Great job. Though there does seem to be, like, still like the whatever was floating around in that water is still there and there seems to be a lot of it uncovered all over the-- all the items here but like you got the water away. It's good.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Lou. I guess Lou has been wearing like, like a tactical jacket over all this stuff. I don't think she's wearing her school uniform, but she's wearing, like, cool mission-- a cool mission outfit. Plenty of layers and she takes off her tactical jacket and she's like.
Eric (as Lou): Is it hot in here? Did something, like-- is there, like a 1950s heater that also probably gives us cancer around here? Like, what is happening?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Why don't you go look for that? Um.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, I'm gonna go look-- I'm gonna look for a heater.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Yes. Step away, because I'm gonna– I'm gonna try to figure out what these items are.
Brandon: I'm also gonna roll real quick my spell surge for that spell.
Eric: Oh, thank you.
Brandon: 12. We all good, so I'm up to two. And then I'm going to cast-- I'm just gonna try to detect magic on --
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: -- these items within 30 feet of me.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I can learn at school of magic, if any. So basically, I want to know sort of what vague genre of magic items these might be or technology this might be.
Eric: Sure thing. Yeah. Do you-- you have to roll again on spell surge?
Brandon: I did. That's a 7, so I'm good.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay.
Brandon: So yeah, Milo does his, like, glitter trick and sort of like, claps his hands together and– and I'll just sort of, like floats down and anything that is sort of magical or technology, whatever, will start to shimmer.
Eric: Cool. I like-- every time you do this, it makes me think like you're a stage magician.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Eric: Yeah. I saw-- you know, actually, that stage magician became Nickel Face.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: Oh no.
Amanda: What an origin story.
Julia: Stop talking about nickel face.
[Amanda and Eric laughs]
Julia: I don't like Nickel Face.
Brandon: I don't know why y's turned into face like it should be.
Julia: No, it's fine. I'm cool with it, I just face it.
Amanda: Two face.
Eric: Fuck. I think Lou walks away kind of with her jacket tied around her waist as she looks around for someone-- where this heat is coming from. And yeah, it's pretty-- you're getting pretty hot. It's like someone has to put the air conditioning on down here. And I think that you use detect magic. I think each one of these items kind of, like maybe glows a little bit. Like, there's a little bit of something going on here, but what you're really getting is the junk on top of it.
[Brandon hums]
Eric: And you-- maybe look closer at it. And you see that these items are almost attached to each other by the stuff of the water left, left away. And you're looking at it as you get closer to it. And you see that it's glowing the same as the one up mushrooms and delta radiation. And as you realize that, you look and you realize that this is fungus. And at that moment, when that clicks in your head, the items start to move. And the fungus starts to pull all these items together and you realize that there are some items on the ground and some items are getting pulled out of the drawers behind you and it keeps growing and you see legs and then a torso and arms and a --
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: -- that goes.
[thunderous roaring]
Eric: And I need you to roll initiative, Brandon.
[nervous laugh]
Julia: Oh boy.
Brandon: I have a 12.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright, the first thing that happens is that much like the time shark you see the splash panel of these assembled items pulled together. This is the mushroom horde.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Made out of stuff gonna fight your stuff. Mushroom horde!
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: And I rolled a Nat 20 for the Mushroom Horse, so the Mushroom Horde is going to go first and I'm going to do something real quick that the Mushroom Horde can do.
Brandon: Can I do a free action real quick and just yell.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Lou, get out of here. Go back to the elevator now.
Eric (as Lou): What? What's going on?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Do it!
Eric (as Lou): Oh god.
Eric: Please make a strength saving throw.
[dice rolls]
Brandon: That's pretty good. What's up with my rolls today? They're not bad.
Julia: Yeah. I think it's to hold on to your stuff.
Brandon: Oh, I forgot I have a -1 to strength, so 17.
[Amanda cheers]
Eric: Oh, unfortunately, I was-- I'm looking for an 18, my friend.
Amanda: No!
Brandon: Oh shit!
Eric: Brandon, can you tell me the magic items on your sheet?
Brandon: I have the Phantasma Duct, I have Anti-supernova orbs. And then if we have any of the breath weapons, the Hard Light Buster, the Hot Topic Contexts.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: And those.
Eric: Alright. I'm gonna roll a 1 D4.
[dice clanks]
Eric: Hell yes. I think the first thing that happens is you're stepping back from the mushroom horde as it takes a step towards you. And it opens its mouth really-- it opens it all real wide and breathes in and you feel like you're getting pulled towards it but you realize you aren't getting pulled towards it. The stuff on you is getting pulled towards it. I think that you feel something in your chest that starts to loosen and then pop and the Phantasma Duct is being-- is grabbed from you and swallowed by the Mushroom Horde.
[Brandon shrieks]
Eric: And you hear. And you see it goes.
Eric (as Mushroom Horde): Yummy.
[mushroom horde munches]
Brandon (as Kilonova): Not cool.
Eric: Wonderful. With a 17 that is Lou's turn. Lou is go–.
Eric (as Lou): Are you sure? Do you want me to go?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Leave now!
Eric (as Lou): Alright.
Brandon: I'm sorry.
Brandon (as Kilonova): [in a weakened tone] Leave now.
Eric (as Lou): It's an age thing? Does it take your age?
Brandon (as Kilonova): No, it's-- I don't want you to die again.
Eric (as Lou): Fair.
Eric: Lou runs away from the fight. Bulks it out of there out of your field of vision. Alright, it is now your turn.
Brandon: Okay. I am going to undo the mistake I already made and just cast Create Water and try to, like, aim it on the ceiling where that splotch was and sort of just kind of recreate that drip but, like, make it a waterfall.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Or like are they-- Sorry, are they underneath that drip still? The big monster?
Eric: Yeah, they're standing under there.
Brandon: Then yes, that.
Eric: Cool. Please make a-- make a nature check for me.
Julia: How many-- how many books on mushrooms did you read, Eric? That's my question.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: 15.
Eric: 15. What was your intention with this, Brandon?
Brandon: I just want to see if, like, if I can get some of that, like, powdery stuff back into solution and then on top of the big monster guy, see what happens.
Eric: Cool. I mean, like, it's pretty stoked about it because it loves warm and damp areas, but nothing else happens.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: It's pretty stoked and okay about it. Vulcani and Multitool please roll for initiative as let's get in there.
Amanda: Yay!!!
Julia: I rolled a Nat 20.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: I also get advantage so let's see if I roll two Nat 20s. That was a 4 so...
Eric: There you go.
Amanda: Got a 10.
Eric: Cool. Before you y'all hop in, I'm going to use a legendary action, which I get to do on someone else's turn. And I'm gonna-- I'm gonna hit Kilonova.
[dice rolls]
Eric: The 21 to hit.
Brandon: Yeah, that hits Eric.
Eric: Hell yes. 19 bludgeoning damage to you.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: After the water gushes down, the mushroom horde looks like one of those women in the shampoo commercials and just looks refreshed and just comes down a horde with two hands made out of boots and swords and, like, staples and stuff as you take 19 bludgeoning damage.
[Brandon grunts]
Brandon: When you hit me though, it's almost as if, like, a stone hitting still water. Sort of like when the punch hits me in the stomach, some Spirits fly out. And you take 9 points of damage because of my Halo Spirits.
Eric: Hell yes. Wonderful. Vulcani, what's your dex?
Julia: +1.
Eric: Oh, yeah, you go first.
Julia: Alright. Cool.
Eric: My dex is lower than that.
Julia: Oh, sweet.
Eric: How do you two bust in?
Julia: We just fuckin' slam down on top of the elevator after coming down and falling. And like, open up the hatch and then, is Lou in there?
Eric: No, Lou is not in there.
Julia (as Val): Okay, we're like, "Alright, where did this refrigerator come from? Alright, let's go." I pry open the door.
Amanda: Classic.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Guys, this wasn't me. I promise.
Julia (as Val): What did you do?
Brandon (as Kilonova): I didn't do anything.
Julia (as Val): There's a giant mushroom creature.
Brandon (as Kilonova): It's-- it's not a good one.
Julia (as Val): And it's not a friendly one this time.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Not nice.
[Julia hums in agreement]
[mushroom monster roars]
Julia: Cool. I'm gonna bonus action go into a rage and then fuck this shit up.
Eric: Hell yeah, let's see it.
Julia: Yeah, I'm gonna recklessly attack just to see if this-- I just want to see how high it's AC is really. Alright, so.
[dice clanks]
Julia: Dirty 20.
[Eric hums]
Julia: And yeah, that's a dirty 20.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, that hits.
Julia: Alright, cool. So, 5 bludgeoning damage, 6 fire damage + 3 is 14 + 8 is 22.
Eric: Great.
Julia: And then I'm going to attack it again.
[dice rolls]
Julia: 13 + 8, so 21
Eric: That does hit.
Julia: Alright, cool. 6 + 3 is 9, + 8 is 17.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, you get in that-- you-- what does it look like as you-- you punch this massive hoard of items.
Julia: I'm curious to see if, like, my fire damage does extra to mushrooms because mushrooms, they like warmth but not heat and I feel like I could dry them out.
[Brandon chuckles]
Julia: So I think it's just, like, the-- the fiery fists just like, go in real-- real deep and aim for. I guess like, what I imagine to be, like appendages so like-- like a shoulder I guess or something to see if I can disconnect pieces easily.
Brandon: You saute this monster.
Eric: I love it.
Julia: Yeah, saute these mushrooms.
Eric: I'll tell you the fire doesn't do extra damage.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: But you are-- you're getting damn good punches and I'll tell you that much.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: It is now the mushroom horde's turn. The Mushroom Horde is going to turn around and you see on its back are three flame throwers that are kind of just, like, wedged right in its lower back. And it goes.
[fire whooshes]
Eric: I need all of you to make dexterity saving throws please.
[dice clanks]
Brandon: Eric, I also just rolled my spell surge for that Create Water and I hit it so.
Eric: Ah.
Julia: Thank god.
Eric: Interesting.
Brandon: Jesus fucking Christ.
Eric: Well, let's deal with that on your turn.
Julia: Do I use danger sense since this is a thing that I can see?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Okay. I rolled a 16.
Brandon: I rolled an 8.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: I got a 19 but I have monk evasion so I might take no damage.
Eric: Hell yes. 36 damage to those who --
[Brandon grunts]
Eric: -- those who failed. 16. No, the save is also 18. You also take 36 fire damage that you avoid– you have avoided that Multitool and you get zero damage.
Amanda: Yes, because my monk stuff I get no damage on a success.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: When you dodge this, Amanda, do you just sort of, like, does your torso of your body just sort of like.
[odd noises]
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Oh, it's fully, like, matrix bullet time situation but stretching. It's Inspector Gadget in traffic.
Brandon: I love it.
Eric: Hell yes. Alright. This is Lou's turn.
[dice clanks]
Eric: Oh, shit. I think all three of you see. Lou is trying to sneak behind but then she then looks up and be like.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, you turned around. Hello.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: And she opens one of the files behind her and pulls it open and, like, grabs, like, a manila envelope just, like, blindly and just takes it.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Goddamnit Lou, get out of here.
Eric (as Lou): I have to do this first!
Julia (as Val): Milo, stop yelling at the child. This is your mess.
Eric: I'm then going to do a legendary action and attack Lou.
Julia: Hey, no.
Eric: I rolled a three, so like that again, another two handed slam down on Lou, but Lou kind of, like, slaps her shoes and goes.
[zooming noises]
Eric: And then you see that she has super powered wheelies on her shoes.
Brandon: Fucking cool!
Amanda: Yeah. So cool.
Eric (as Lou): I knew wheelies would never go out of style.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: It is now Milo's turn again. Let's roll on the spirit surge. Roll a D10 for me, my man.
[Julia exhales]
Brandon: I shall indeed. I got a 9.
Eric: That's a nine. So now that the Phantasma Duct is fully ripped out of your body, there's once again just kind of, like, a raw ghost hole in the middle of your chest. And I think it's just too unstable for you to deal with, and there's kind of just, like, ghost energy coming out of it. And I think Tuna hops up like a cat looking out the window and puts, like, two paws in the hole of the ghost energy is like.
Eric (as Tuna): What's going on in there?
Eric: And then you see Tuna, like, goes invisible and then translucent as, like, the ghost energy washes over Tuna and Tuna then starts to have, like, their own, like, ectoplasmic glow but Tuna also looks like two times bigger than you remembered like.
Eric (as Tuna): I'm a big cat now.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And Tuna stands in front of you. So here's what happens, Tuna you get +2 to your AC.
Brandon: Oh, sick.
Eric: But you get disadvantage on stealth checks because Tuna glows now but Tuna is going to help defend you and raise your AC for the time being.
Brandon: Well that's cool. Alright. Uh, I give tuna a good long pat because I-- a big cat is a cooler cat in my book if you know what I'm saying.
Eric: Yeah. Tuna opens their mouth and there's a cat mouth inside of the cat mouth like an alien.
Brandon: Oh, I hate that a lot. But I'm going to mechanically use my action to summon Tuna "summon tuna" with Wild Companion and so I can get some temporary hit points because I'm at 16.
Eric: Yay.
Brandon: So I gained 33 temporary hit points.
Amanda: Oh thank god. What a good friend.
Eric: Wonderful. Aggie, it is now your turn.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna run right up and punch this guy.
Julia: Yeah!
Amanda: Punch him wherever I can reach him.
Eric: Sure thing.
Amanda: Can I punch him in the lymph nodes? In the armpit once?
Eric: Yeah, I'm sure-- yeah.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: Yeah, that'd be great.
Eric: I'm sure this has lymph nodes.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: You know on MMA when they punch people in the lymph nodes a lot?
Julia: They actually had to make a rule banning them from doing that anymore because it just, like, was fucking people up real bad.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda: That was a 26 to hit for my first strike.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Because I have-- I have extra attack.
Eric: Oh, that's right.
Amanda: As monk stuff and then 12 to hit the second time.
Eric: Right. First, it works. Second doesn't.
Amanda: Okay, that's fine.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: And that's 11 points of damage.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: And then with my last key point, I'm going to do a stunning strike, so I can attempt this when I successfully hit on a melee weapon attack which I did, and then the target must succeed on a con save or be stunned until the end of my next turn.
Eric: Goddamn. Okay.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: What's the constitution on these mushrooms, Eric.
Eric: Julia, it's pretty high. It's +4.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I know you're trying to razz me but it's high. Okay, so I got a +4. I have to hit a 14. 10. That would be a nine or lower please for everybody.
Julia: Nine or lower.
Amanda: Nine or lower please.
[dice rolls]
Eric: Fuck me! I rolled a 6.
[Brandon laughs]
[Amanda and Julia cheers]
Eric: Goddamnit!
Julia: Mushrooms.
Eric: So what have? Why do I like monks? Goddamn.
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: They're cool. They do cool shit.
Amanda: Yeah, they're awesome. I'm sorry, Eric, your mushroom horde is stunned until the end of my next turn.
Eric: Goddammit. Okay. Out of all of the conditions I'm immune to, stunned is not one of them. Alright, here's done. Oh, my God stun is incapacity. Can't move, can't speak. Automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws, and you guys have advantage on the creature. Okay, what does this look like?
Amanda: So, I land my first hit.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: In the right armpit. I make my second hit in the left armpit. And then when the second one doesn't hit, I kind of go. Ah, and then I just try to shove it. And I think I just, like, shove it against the filing cabinet. And maybe a handle hits it in the nose because it's turned away from me. And it just is one of those things like you stub your toe so bad you, like, freeze.
Eric: I like that. Maybe its nose is, like, a stapler and then, like, it accidentally opens up and gets jammed in one of the-- on one of the handles. Absolutely. Yeah, this thing is stunned for the time being. Hell yes.
Julia: Dude, what a good use of your last key point.
Amanda: Thank you. I'm glad it worked.
Eric: We're gonna go back around. It is now Vulcani's turn.
Julia: I'm going to use my bonus action to use Mantle of Flame.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Because I want to knock this bad boy out of here. Alright, so I basically light on fire.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: And just as a reminder for Mantle of Flame. I shed a bright light for 30 feet and dim light for an additional 30 feet. Any creature takes fire damage equal to your charisma modifier if it is hit with a melee attack within 10 feet or touches you.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: And then whenever I roll fire damage on my turn, the roll gains a bonus equal to my charisma modifier.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Okay, so if it does a melee attack either to me or within 10 feet of me it's going to take additional damage.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: Not that it's going to do that this turn because it can't fucking move.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, alright. Fuck.
Julia: But I'm also adding my charisma, so then I'm just gonna do some regular attacks.
Eric: Yeah, do some punches.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Yeah, Knuckles, go in.
[Julia chuckles]
Julia: That's 11 + 8 for a 19.
Eric: A 19. I'm going to tell you a 19 is it's AC now. It was 18 but it ate the Phantasma Duct , so it is now 19.
Julia: Great. Alright, well, it's still gonna take damage from that. I'm just gonna roll my second attack.
Eric: Yeah, go ahead.
Julia: And I'll roll all my damage at once. Alright, and then the second attack is a dirty 20. Perfect.
Eric: Yeah. There you go.
Julia: Great. Great. So 17 + an additional 3, so 20 points of damage.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: On the first attack.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Second attack is 3, so it's 9 + 3 is 12. + 8 is 20. Plus the additional 3 is 23.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: So 43 points of damage. How's it doing?
Amanda: Damn!
Eric: It's-- it's doing– not– it's having a tough time. It is jammed up against the wall and you're just, like, punching it in the kidneys which are stuffed animal penguins.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: Motherfucker.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, you're still up in its grill lighting it up. It is now Lou's turn once again. Lou is currently, like, underneath it. And like.
Eric (as Lou): I got too close and I should have left but I love being a part of the action.
Julia (as Val): You're doing great, Lou.
Eric: Lou is gonna look around on more of the file cabinets. Yeah, looking around for stuff.
Eric (as Lou): You don't need me for stuff, so I can keep doing this right?
Julia (as Val): I mean, ideally, stay out of the way so that it doesn't kill you.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
Julia (as Val): You do your thing.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Val): I trust your judgment, you're smart.
Eric (as Lou): I'm just gonna-- I will. I didn't even know they kept information like this. This is wild.
Julia (as Val): What kind of information is it just so we know what's up?
Eric: Yeah, she shows you.
Julia: Val just goes "TLDR."
Eric: Yeah, she shows you a manila folder and you see that the middle folder is labeled-- is labeled, like, Taylor Evergreen. And be like.
Eric (as Lou): These are emplo-- These are employee files. I'm looking at employees.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric (as Lou): There's probably-- There's probably stuff in here. There is probably juicy stuff in here.
Julia (as Val): Get that hot goss on Taylor.
Eric (as Lou): Taylor-- Taylor Evergreen does not work well with others I'll tell you that much.
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): Look for John Press or names that have to do with printing.
Eric (as Lou): Okay, I'll keep looking.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Look for the exit. Leave now!
Eric (as Lou): The exits-- I know where the exit is. It's the elevator, it's fine.
Julia (as Val): Also, are we sure those are employee files and, like, not, like, oh, this is the archive of all the people who have superpowers in Laketown city.
Amanda (as Multitool): It's possible.
Julia (as Val): Lou, you let me know if you find someone you know personally that you know doesn't work at the OTA.
Eric (as Lou): Okay, I'll keep looking at this file. Who is? Who is Fritz Brightstone?
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Amanda: Yup.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda (as Multitool): Alright, grab every name you recognize Lou.
Eric (as Lou): Okay. I don't know many people.
Julia (as Val): You know who Fritz Brightstone is. He's the captain for the mountain lobsters.
Eric (as Lou): I don't watch sports.
Julia (as Val): Lou.
Eric (as Lou): I watch professional highlights. That's it.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): It's kind of Thornhill Commercials.
Eric (as Lou): Oh, that's right.
Julia (as Val): You know, from the Taffy company.
Eric: (as Val) Oh, the guy who chews for so long because he's the captain of chewing.
Amanda (as Multitool): Yep.
Eric (as Lou): Oh yeah. I like him. He's cool.
Brandon: He chooses Thornhill chewing taffy.
[Julia exhales]
Eric: Lou's gonna look around, it is now is back to Milo's last turn. I skipped the-- the horde because I can't do shit.
Julia: Hey, suck it.
Brandon: So, Milo is going to cast a fan favorite spell that you might call heat metal.
[Eric hums]
Eric: Interesting.
Julia: The real bad is the Knight of Mirrors.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: So, I am going to target one of the objects which I'm sure one of them is made of metal.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
Amanda: It's the 50s, Brandon. Everything's made of metal, baby bottles.
[Brandon chuckles]
Brandon: I'm going to cast at fifth level, so you take 5D8 fire damage and you must make a constitution saving throw. Even if you succeed, you have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks until restarted for next turn.
Eric: I love this. I want to see what happens here. Will you make a wisdom check for me?
Brandon: Sure. 18.
Eric: 18. Wonderful.
Amanda: I was gonna ask why you made your second least favorite food foundational aspect of this campaign. And then I realized it's because we get to beat it up.
Eric: Yeah, cuz' you just destroy it. Hell yes. Okay. Um, interesting.
Amanda: The first least favorite is coconut.
Julia: That makes sense. Is it a texture thing or a flavor thing?
Eric: It's the devil's fruit. It tastes like--
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: If god wanted us to get inside of a coconut. He wouldn't have made it so hard. First of all, she wouldn't have made it so hard to get in the coconut. And also, it tastes like someone is jamming suntan lotion in my mouth.
Julia: Well, that's the fault of suntan lotion, not the coconut.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It's the fault-- all of those chemicals scientists in New Jersey have destroyed it for me. It's their fault.
Amanda: In hindsight, I shouldn't have brought it up.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Eric: Incredible. Okay. Yeah, you do the heat metal and fifth level. You see inside of it. They're like, something around is heart where the heart would be starts to glow and it's glowing in a circle and you realize that you're heating up the Phantasma Duct itself as it's been integrated inside of the mushroom horde.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: I failed my constitution save so I'm going to take that damage. Can you roll 5D8 for me?
Brandon: Yes. 1. 6. 7. 9. 13 total.
Eric: 13.
Brandon: And because you failed your constitution you have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks until the start of your next turn.
Eric: Oh my god. Okay, great. It is now go-- now back to Aggie. Aggie I have-- the mushroom horde no longer is stunned.
Amanda: Till the end of my turn.
Eric: Oh, the end of your turn. Fuck!
Julia: Oh yeah. Fuck em' up Aggie.
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Julia: Fuck em' up.
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Eric: It still is stuck on this-- the handle.
Amanda: It sure is. Alright. Well, I'm going to try to get in two more punches before it-- it unstuns.
Eric: Sure.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: 22 to hit.
Eric: Yeah, that hits.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: Okay. And then I guess for 7 I'm gonna do advantage. Okay, so a 21 and a 20 to hit.
Eric: Those both hit.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: Alright. We got --
[dice rolls]
Julia: Fuck him up.
Amanda: 15 total.
Julia: Fuck him up.
Eric: 15 total.
Julia: That's not bad. It's not bad.
Amanda: Thank you.
Brandon: It's better when I rolled.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Get those punches in. I just want to say that Amanda rolled-- Amanda rolled 2D8 + 6.
Brandon: Shut up!
Eric: And you rolled 5D8 and you rolled less than her somehow.
Brandon: Shut up. I rolled two ones.
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric: Incredible. Yeah, it is-- this thing is looking messed up and now it is finally shaking off the stun into, like on the hooks its face that is the-- the stapler of its nose that is jammed into this handle goes.
[mushroom horde shrieks]
Amanda: Oh wait, no, I have one more. One more.
Eric: Oh, you do?
Amanda: Yeah. As a bonus action, I'm just gonna make one more Unarm Strike. That's my martial arts monk ability.
Eric: Nice!
Julia: Do it.
Amanda: Okay. 21 to hit.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: And.
[dice rolls]
Amanda: A4 damage.
Eric: Alright.
Julia: And that's it. It's dead now.
Amanda: That's it. It's dead now. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Aggie punched it in the face one time and it's dead.
Eric: Oh, you did it. You punched it in the face. Yeah, it is longer stunned. It's screaming at you. It's pissed.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: We're back to Val.
Julia: Cool. Great. I'm gonna hit it again.
Eric: Do it.
Julia: That's a 16 so that's not gonna hit.
Eric: Nope.
[dice rolls]
Julia: But the next one is a 26.
Eric: That hits.
Brandon: Fuck yeah!
Julia: Okay. 20. It's 20.
Eric: Goddamn! Alright. No, this thing's looking fucked up. You see that, like, some of the items are clinging to the ground, like the fungus isn't able to hold on to all of it at the same time. And as the-- it almost-- the horde is looking at you almost pleadingly. Like, you should stop punching it because it doesn't like it, it has gained sentience, and it feels pain.
Julia (as Val): You did-- you did attack us as soon as we came in here and you attacked our friend.
[mushroom horde's inaudible talking]
Brandon (as Kilonova): You ripped something out of my chest.
[mushroom horde's inaudible talking]
Julia (as Val): I get that you just want to collect things and that's okay. But like, ownership is important when it comes to, like, our individual society. Like, if you want to be a part of the community, then people can share things with you. But right now your existence is based on stealing and that's not okay.
Eric: I'm going to do a legendary action and attack you.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It's 15 to hit.
Julia: Yeah, that hits me.
Eric: Really?
Julia: Yeah, I had a 13.
Eric: 22 bludgeoning damage.
Julia: 22 bludgeoning damage that goes down to.
Eric: 11.
Julia: Yes, that goes down to 11. And then I have my temporary hit points, so I only take five damage.
Eric: Wonderful.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I'm gonna roll.
[dice rolls]
Eric: One. Alright. I am refreshing the item suckeroo. Everyone, please make a strength saving throw.
Julia: Gladly.
Brandon: Just to remind you, you have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks, Eric.
Eric: Yes, this is you guys doing saves not me.
Brandon: Okay, I'm just making sure you remember.
Amanda: Another waste of a Nat 20. Nat 20.
Brandon: Jesus fucking Christ.
Amanda: I get one Nat 20 this whole episode and it's a frickin' saving throw.
Julia: 25.
Eric: Oh, Jesus. Okay.
Julia (as Val): You can't take my shit from me!
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric: That's fair.
Amanda: Brandon.
Brandon: Oh, I got a 0. I got a 1 - 1 is 0.
Amanda: Oh Brandon.
Eric: Oh buddy.
Amanda: I wish I could switch with you, bud. I'm sorry.
Eric: Alright. Yeah. What other ma-- What other magic items do you have?
Brandon: I have anti supernova orbs and then the gum, the buster, and the contacts.
Eric: Okay, I'm gonna roll 1D4 again. Alright, I rolled a 3, so flying out of your backpack is the hilt of the big old magic light buster sword as it flies in the mouth of the magic horde. The rest of you hold on to your magic items. And it goes.
[munching noises]
Julia (as Val): Val goes, "I forgot we had that."
Eric (as Mushroom Horde): I need food to live. Hurtful.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Not my lightsaber!
Julia (as Val): When was the last time you used it? Let's be honest here.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Shut up!
[Amanda chuckles]
Eric: Incredible. Well, it is now Lou'd turn. Lou is going to look around for some stuff. Cool. Lou is still confounded that there is in fact data kept in paper, so she's having a hard time looking through-- she's having a hard time looking at stuff.
Amanda: I bet she never had to write a lab report on loose leaf paper.
Eric: That's-- No, she definitely is not. It's now Milo's-- it is now Brandon's turn.
Brandon: I get to use a bonus action to reroll the damage on my heat magic item thing.
Eric: Oh yeah.
Brandon: So I'm gonna do that. So I'm going to reach my hand out and sort of, like, squeeze my fist and make the Phantasma Duct glow red again.
Eric: Hell yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: 27 damage baby!
Julia: Oh, much better.
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: Oh, you killed it. You did it, Brandon. You killed it.
Amanda: Did you do it? Did you kill it?
Brandon: Fuck yeah, let's go baby.
Eric: Yeah. The Phantasma Duct glows red hot and you see that the, like, fungus around it burns away enough and it keeps burning away and more of it starts to crumble like ash. And these items just cannot hold together any longer as everything starts to clatter to the floor and its face that looks right at Val, because you've killed a living creature that definitely is alive. It falls away as it clatters to the ground and you're just kind of looking at the center of his hor-- of this mushroom horde is one of those like Daytona USA arcade machines where you can see if it's right.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: And it says [in a robotic tone] "Player one, start!"
Eric: [in-game arcade noises] Okay.
Eric: And you've defeated the mushroom horde.
Julia: Yay!
Brandon: Fuck yeah.
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: I walk over, grab my Phantasma Duct, click it back into place and give the dust on the floor two middle fingers.
[Amanda chuckles]
Julia (as Val): It was a living thing Milo. It just didn't understand civic responsibility.
Brandon (as Kilonova): I don't give two shits!
Eric: Brandon.
Brandon: Yeah?
Julia: Oh no.
Brandon: Eric, don't fuck me.
Eric: Here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Brandon: Eric, don't. Don't fuck me. Eric, don't fuck me.
Eric: You just jammed it right back into your bod?
Brandon: Well, yeah, of course.
Julia: It's still hot, my guy!
Eric: It's still hot!
Brandon: No, it's a magic hotness. It obviously dissipates once the spell is over.
Julia: Obviously.
Eric: Obviously.
Brandon: It requires concentration so as soon as I stopped concentrating--
Eric: Oh, okay, alright. It seems-- it just seems unsanitary.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: It was covered in mushrooms!
Brandon: I mean, yeah, that's probably true.
Eric: You're taki-- You're taki--
[Eric laughs]
Eric: I rolled 1D10 poisoned damage as you jam it back into your body. Please take 10 points of damage.
Julia: Jesus Christ!
Brandon: Whatever man. I still have 23 temporary hit points.
Eric: That's fine. That's fine.
Brandon: How is Tuna doing by the way? Still big?
Julia: Yeah. How long is that tuna gonna be that way?
Eric: That-- Tuna's like that for, it's 10 minutes in total.
Brandon: Would you say that Tuna is the size of a tuna?
Eric: Bigger than a tuna.
Amanda: Whoa.
Brandon: And also, like, has weird ghost things. Like, you see, like, faces and hands, like, try-- pushing out from Tuna's skin.
Julia (as Val): I hate that.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Honestly, really fucking cool. Tuna, if you want to stay like that for however long you want to, let's go.
Eric (as Tuna): I wish I could but like, it feels temporary.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Okay.
Eric (as Tuna): Like a vacation.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda (as Multitool): So, we kind of have a lot to catch up on but I heard the thing we need is the level below.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Lou): Cool. Alright.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Oh, did you guys see the Sommelier? Are they dead yet?
Julia (as Val): Why would-- No?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Oh, I'm gonna kill em'.
Julia (as Val): No, you're not.
Brandon (as Kilonova): She tried to--
Amanda (as Multitool): No.
Eric (as Tuna): Please don't do that.
Amanda (as Multitool): We tied her up. She is-- She has been taken down a peg and we tied her up.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Amanda: And then I leaned over and whispered to Vulcani.
Amanda (as Multitool): [whispers] Don't mention the almonds.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Well, she tried to kill Lou, who is an underage person. And you don't kill children, so I'm gonna kill her.
Julia (as Val): I mean, did she, like, try to put a sword through Lou or like what happened?
Brandon (as Kilonova): She tried to crush her with a refrigerator which I think is worse.
Julia (as Val): Did she specifically know that Lou was there?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Yes.
Julia (as Val): Yeah?
Brandon (as Kilonova): Yes.
Julia (as Val): Hmmm. Okay.
Brandon (as Kilonova): You weren't there. You don't know.
Julia (as Val): Okay. Lou, did that. Is that what happened?
Brandon: Do you want to roll a dueling insight check?
Julia: Yeah, let's fucking go.
Eric: Yeah, roll dueling insight check. This is great.
Julia: I rolled a dirty 20. What up?
Brandon: 25, motherfuckers, so let's go.
Amanda: What? That's what you rolled low?
Julia (as Val): Val just turns to Lou and goes. "Lou, did the Sommelier point at you and then drop a fucking fringe on you?"
Eric (as Lou): I mean, she did drop a fridge on me. I'm not disputing that. I just don't want also-- I feel uncomfortable getting, like, birthday presents. I don't want someone to murder in my name.
Julia (as Val): Yeah.
Eric (as Lou): So that's just me.
Brandon (as Kilonova): It's fine. It's fine. Just going to Robert Pattinson Batman on her ass. Let's go. Let's move forward.
Eric (as Lou): I don't-- I don't like--. That movie
Julia (as Val): It hasn't even come out yet.
Eric (as Lou): That movie was delayed by 10 years and still hasn't come out. I don't know how you know that. I couldn't find–
Eric: Lou grabs a bunch of these manila folders and, like, shows you just kind of, like, various people who you've seen who have powers but, like, no one with who have kept with, like, name-names. Like, they do have the guy who used Bramble Strike. They have him in there. A few different people but, like, no one-- no one that's, like, super relevant to this stuff that you've done, but you have realized that this-- this does have, like, some employees of the OTA and also it is a catalog of powered people in the city.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, I don't like that they have that. Lou, take those with us, so that when we expose them, we also expose the fact that they are keeping track of citizens like this.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, no, I got it. I don't have-- You're just supposed to put the papers in your bag? What if they get crunched? We can't crunch data. I hate this.
Brandon (as Kilonova): Have you ever heard of data compression, Lou? It's just like that.
Eric (as Lou): Yeah, but they don't get wrinkly.
[Amanda and Brandon laugh]
Julia (as Val): Should we search this room some more? Now I'm concerned that there's, like, stuff in here that we..
Amanda (as Multitool): I can just do a quick peruse
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Do a quick peruse.
Brandon: I'll do it too then just cuz I have a large investigation.
Julia: I'll roll it just in case.
Eric: Investigate. All of y'all investigate.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I rolled a 2 - 1 for a 1.
Eric: Val, you think you see your name in there, but it's Victor Vontasuviopolis who's Greek. Different guy.
Julia: Where does he live? He sounds like he would make good food.
Amanda: On the way out, I think well, I'll just kind of, like, glance down into the file folder drawers. I only got an 8 though.
Brandon: And I got a non Nat 20.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: Non-natural 20. Okay. I think you all look around one more time to make sure that you didn't forget anything. Brandon, what do you want? What are you looking for? Because, like, you this is on the way out. But a 20 is a high roll, so I'll give you one thing. What do you want?
Brandon: I think I would be looking for, like, specifically our names.
Eric: Your names? Hell yeah.
Brandon: Like, what they know about us. Like, obviously, they're gonna have Milo and Aggie's name but I specifically want to know also if they have Val's name or what.
Eric: Cool. Okay, I like that. I think you look around. I think you see Aggie's folder and you take it down. And there's, like, a lot of stuff in there. Nothing all too invasive necessarily, but I think that, like, they were able to compile quite a lot on the O'Hare's because the O'Hare's are public in that way and have been living in Laketown City for quite a long time. There is one for Vulcani. Again, this is more about cataloging the stuff they've done in-- in Little Italy. Maybe there's some stuff you didn't know about like what is Vulcani get up to in Little Italy? Who are they fighting when they are just, like, doing daredevil street level stuff? It's like, oh, I didn't even know that they fought, like, the-- the Fibonacci Gang.
[Amanda chuckles]
Brandon: Well, I wouldn't read the files because I feel like that's invasive, so I would hand them each their file.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Oh, man, they know about the Fibonacci gang?
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: They only show up. Either there's one of them or then sometimes there's one of them. And then sometimes it's just three. And then sometimes it's 5. Sometimes it's 7 and then sometimes it's 11.
Julia: Their numbers just keep growing exponentially.
[Brandon chuckles]
Eric: They are similar to the People's River because they think they're natural.
Julia: They're the Golden Ratio.
Eric: Yeah, it's the golden ratio.
Julia: I don't know what that means, but they keep yelling it at me while I punch 'em.
[Brandon chuckles]
Amanda: As Aggie flips through she's like.
Amanda (as Multitool): I feel like these shirtless photos of Ryan are not necessary. I feel like someone just, like, printed that for some reason and just put it in here.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia (as Val): Who knew the OTA was that horny for your brother?
Julia: Was it under Vulcani or was it under Val Vesuvio?
Eric: It was under Vulcani.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: They don't have your real name. They are actually somebody, there's like some thoughts about who it might be. And there's just, like, a bunch of, like, there's, like, a bunch of people just living in Little Italy, who it could be. And like, none of them are right.
Julia: Great. Love that.
Eric: Well, you're looking around for your name. You're checking and you see you --
Brandon: I would look for my last name, by the way.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, I know. You're looking for Lane. You're looking around, you're in the case and you go over to L and you're flipping through L. And there's, like, La, and then you get the-- and then the Le names, but you don't find a file on you.
Brandon: Interesting. Okay. And I assume it would be the same thing if I were to look for Kilonova.
Eric: Correct.
Brandon: Okay, well, then that's weird. And I'm gonna keep walking towards the elevator.
Amanda (as Multitool): [whispering] I think your dad probably removed files on you.
Brandon (as Kilonova): [whispering] Yeah, I think so.
Amanda (as Multitool): I think so.
Julia: [whispers] Don't tell Eric.
Eric: [whispers] What are we whispering about?
Amanda (as Multitool): [whispers] Probably I was gonna wonder if there's a file on Hank but I don't think there would be because he probably took it out.
Brandon (as Kilonova): [whispers] Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: There's one on Lois Lane. I don't know who that is, but they’re not related to you.
Julia: Hank's sister.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Yeah, Hank's sister, Lois.
Eric (as Lou): Okay, yeah, what do we-- what do we want to do now?
Julia (as Val): Downstairs is where the thing that we're looking for is according to a certain person, and so we're gonna go get it.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon (as Kilonova): I just want to point out real quick that you guys have not told me that you've made a deal with Sommelier.
Julia (as Val): Oh, no. I'm going to on the way back. Just not right now.
Amanda (as Multitool): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.
Brandon (as Kilonova): That'll be fun. Alright. Let's go down the elevator.
Eric: Cool. Okay. So yeah, I think the four of you get in the elevator. And you see that Lou is holding a little jar and holds it up to you and be like.;
Eric (as Lou): You know, maybe-- maybe Room wants a brother. Does that sound neat? Is that responsible? It feels irresponsible.
Julia (as Val): You know what, it is a living thing and I'm glad that you're going to give it life again.
Julia: And Val, like, gets down on one knee and holds Lou's face and be like.
Julia (as Val): You need to teach it civic responsibility.
[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]
Eric (as Lou): You know what, this feels like a little bit too much responsibility. Maybe I should just get them a cat.
Julia (as Val): Yeah, just make sure you don't get a ghost cat.
Julia: Val looks at Kilonova.
Eric (as Lou): No, I want a ghost cat.
Brandon (as Kilonova): No one should get a ghost cat, trust me.
Eric (as Tuna): Adopt me.
[Brandon laughs]
Amanda (as Multitool): They say a pet is a lifetime responsibility, but no one really meant it until Tuna.
Brandon (as Kilonova): After lifetime responsibility.
Eric (as Tuna): Responsibility.
Amanda: Everyone looks at the camera.
Eric: As the elevator descends to the lowest floor of the Office of Technology Assessment.
[Join the Party theme music plays]
Transcribed by: John Matthew M. Sarong