55. Join Us II

The fight against the 50-foot mountain lobster continues! Everyone gets crushed by a claw or beamed by an eye stalk…or do they? Who can say? You gotta listen to find out what happens!


Housekeeping

- Join the Multitude Discord today at multitude.productions/community


Sponsors

- Ro Derm, where you can get prescription skincare online. Go to roderm.com/jointheparty to get your first month of Custom Rx Treatment for $5.

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Find Us Online

- website: jointhepartypod.com

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- merch & music: jointhepartypod.com/merch


Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.


Transcript

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.

[Join the Party theme music plays]

Eric: We're fighting a giant mountain lobster. What else do you want? Let's just get to the episode. Play the theme song. Go!

Eric: Val is flying through the air currently; you've used your rocket boosters to double jump and try to land on the torso on the back of the massive kaiju mountain lobster. It is now the mountain lobster's turn, and he's going to try to swing at you. I'm going to give a disadvantage on its attack. And I'm going to also subtract 5 from the attack of the mountain lobster because it is currently pinned in by the ghostly ectoplasm columns that Kilonova has unleashed. Like a, like a gog civilization six, so here we go. I have two club arm attacks here of its massive claws. I would usually get +13, I'm going to get +8. I'm going to give myself disadvantage.

Brandon: +13?

Julia: Eric, I'll tell you right now.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: If you hadn't subtracted 5, it would have automatically hit me every single fucking time because my AC is 13.

Amanda: That's good.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: That's good.

Julia: This thing's gonna knock me out of the fucking air.

Brandon: That's called teamwork, Julia.

Amanda: That's podcasting, baby.

Eric: Well, Julia, I just rolled a 2 and a 7, so that's one. It like rears all the way back. The biggest haymaker it could fathom and tries to swing down at you with a massive claw and just whiffs by you, destroying some artists collective’s warehouse.

Amanda: No!

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: And now I get another attack. Here we go. It's a 19 and a 17. It's gonna hit.

Amanda: Hey guys, next time we were all gonna build together we should make the worst city possible that way when it's inevitably destroyed in a climactic boss battle, we don't really care.

Eric: Hell yeah.

Julia: There's no stake.

Brandon: What if everything's just made out of marshmallows?

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: That's fair. Alright, Julia, you take 14 points of bludgeoning damage and 14 points of force damage, so you're going to have one of the 14 so you get--

Julia: I'm not raging.

Eric: Oh, you're not?

Julia: No.

Eric: Oh, piss. Yeah, you take 28 points of damage, my man.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: I also would like you to make a strength check.

Julia: Sure. Give me one second. I'm bad at math.

Amanda: Yeah, Julia's only good at adding her damage.

Julia: That's true.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia: Do I get to add my fame to this or no?

Eric: Yes, you do.

Julia: Oh, great. How does a spicy 29 sound?

[Amanda chuckles]

Eric: A 29?

[Amanda and Eric laughs]

Brandon: Sounds tasty.

Eric: Jesus Christ, a 29?

Brandon: Just the right amount of spice.

Amanda: Gabagool.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: You fling yourself through the air one and you double jump to try to land on its back. One claw flies past you. And then the other claw comes. Just wallops you from the other side however, with a 29 strength check, you hold onto that claw bud.

Eric: Yeah, that claw's my claw now.

Eric: That claw's your claw now.

Julia: Imma dip it in butter and we're gonna eat it.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Gross.

Amanda: They call me The Nutcracker for a reason.

Eric: What, let's go down the lobster claw shack and I'll show you to one to crack crack crack that beat inside. I've never done that before, so...

Amanda: Eric grew up being kosher, he doesn’t know how to eat a lobster.

Eric: Yeah I spent a long time being kosher. I'd never, I didn't have the experience.

Julia: That's fair.

Eric: So, Julia, let me tell you what's up here.

Julia: Please.

Eric: If you would like to, you can crawl or climb from the claw to the body. If you would like to do that you do have that ability. And that would get you kind of just, like, to where the head meets the middle carapace there. Its probably be 15-feet-long. However, here's how climbing works for those of you cats and kittens out there who don't know. Climbing is half your speed. It also though it is "difficult terrain". It is a third of your speed, so it would take 45 speed for you to climb the entire claw. And you would also need to hold on.

Julia: Great. I love that.

Eric: And I will also say it now that the, now that the mountain kaiju mountain lobster is gone it is now once again the LT3's turn. All of y'all can do y'all thing.

Julia: Great. What I would love to do, Eric, is I would love to use my supercharger feet.

Eric: Sure.

Julia: Which means I use a bonus action to dash.

Eric: Yeah, yeah.

Julia: And so, as I use the bonus action to dash it allows me to attack once as a free action.

Eric: Okay.

Brandon: Cool.

Amanda: I like it.

Julia: So, I'm going to use all my movement, I'm going to use a bonus action to dash. I will reserve what I'm attacking until I know what I see up there, but I'm preparing an attack. And that still allows me to take an action, which is it will be an additional two attacks.

Eric: Cool. Cool. What is your, what's your speed and total when you dash?

Julia: 80.

[Eric laughs mischievously]

Eric: It's 80. Shit. Yeah, so you still have 35 feet to go. Give me a DC15 either acrobatics or athletics check.

Julia: Easy peasy lemon squeezy, my guy.

[dice clatters]

Julia: 13 + 9 for a 24

Eric: Hell yes. Alright, I'm gonna say that you'll, you'll have no problem shimmying your way up the claw. I just love the idea that the claws come down on you. And maybe it's been left open a little bit where you've wedged yourself inside. And now you're just, like, shimmying up the side of this massive claw to get up this mountain lobster. I'll tell you where you end up, when you stop 35-feet left as you kind of meet, you end up on the middle, that middle carapace part. As you survey the head, I think you get a good sense of what's happening here. At the front, what Aggie had seen is made out of pixels. It's Dr. Morrow's wild hair that is pulled into a loose bun when she remembers. Maybe it's usually, you've seen it tied up with wire or some sort of cord that she has nearby into a ponytail, but right now it is just fully, her gray hair is fully out into the world flying in the, I guess what would happen if you were riding on a kaiju. It would be pretty fast, wouldn't it?

Julia: Yes.

Eric: Kind of steering at this kind of makeshift ships helm though the bottom below the neck. It's kind, you remember Lara Croft Tomb Raider for the N64?

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Julia: Sure.

Amanda: Oh no. Did they make her, like, comic book sexy?

Eric: No.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia: Are her boobs just, like, pixel squares and triangles?

Eric: It's like her chest is just a triangle.

Amanda: Oh no.

Eric: So the rest of it is just kind of like polygons. Like, really like real sharp polygons. As you said, it's all triangles and squares there.

Amanda: They really, like, concentrated the animation budget into the face.

Eric: Yeah, exactly. It's also like, it's just like a matte like army green. It's the rest of the body. And there's a makeshift helm there. And there is a microphone on a microphone stand with that is connected to the speakers as this Dr. Morrow head is screaming.

Eric (as Pixel Morrow): Oh, it's my former friends, the Laketown City 3. It's so much joy to bring you down as I've been able to bring down all the powered folk in this entire city.

Eric: You also see that there is a, like, a kind of like a 20-foot dome in the middle of the kaiju head. It is pitch black in there. It is like someone has filled in the entire dome with, like, Sharpie marker and really colored it all in. And then the third thing you see is sitting in a, in a overstuffed leather back chair. Is somebody that would say is your good friend be like.

Eric (as Triplicate): No, I don't need anything now. It's fine. You can just, you can leave this to the professionals. Triplicate has this under control. It's fine.

Julia: Is it Gutenberg?

Eric: No, it's Triplicate.

Brandon: He's talking about himself in the third person, that's how we know he's evil.

Julia: Third person? Fucking a, dude.

Eric: Yeah, exactly.

Julia: Okay, can I do a couple of checks before I take my attack actions?

Eric: You've done all the movement, all that in the check to hold on was kinda like a little extra tiny action kind of had it on there, so if you want to do the checks, then you'd be done. But you still have that one attack. Your, your sonic speed attack.

Julia: Great. I think I want to attack the speakers.

Amanda: I love it.

Eric: Sure. I'll give you that if you just want to do that.

Julia: Great. So, I'll take my first free action one on the speaker closest to me. 18. 21.

Eric: 21. The other hits?

Julia: That's another 9 + 11. Dirty 20.

Eric: Cool. Nice.

Julia: And then the third attack. 14 + 11.

Eric: Yeah, those all hit. Yeah, I think that you tear down the speakers.

Julia: Great. I do that.

Eric: Triplicate says.

Eric (as Triplicate): Oh, no fair. We were having so much fun. Did you end up fighting any of my siblings? No? Ugh, you're too poor to use your eyes anyway. Fine!

Julia: Val looks at them and is like.

Julia (as Val): Did you, did you make this Dr. Morrow or did Gutenberg because someone really did a fucking bad job.

Eric (as Triplicate): Oh, you know, we don't like to take credit here. It's so crass for someone to be like, Oh, I made the head. Oh, I made the pointy chest area.

Julia (as Val): Well, whoever did the pointy chest area did a fucking bad job.

Eric (as Triplicate): We all share responsibility for the pointy bust. I'm not sure what you're looking for.

Julia (as Val): I'm looking to make you feel bad. Mostly.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric (as Triplicate): You can't. I don't hear anyone who makes less than a million dollars a year.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Val): Yeah, okay.

Eric: Milo, Aggie, what are you two up to?

Amanda: I'm gonna run these glasses over to the camera person.

Eric: Yeah. Oh, Multitool. Let's see what this looks like. You're on the-- Highway One has always felt like a raised highway that has cut through the entire city to me. So you're just, like, flinging yourself off jumping down to the seven and a half news van.

Amanda: Totally. Yeah, I'm going to move with the height of my monk movement and get over there as fast as I can to give the glasses to the reporter.

Eric: Hell yeah.

Brandon: I imagined Aggie never jumps. Aggie just makes legs longer.

Julia: Oh, yeah.

Amanda: Legs get very long.

Eric: It's like you're stepping down, like, the, the joke when you go behind your couch. And it's like, there's an escalator down there. You're just doing that, but in real life.

Amanda: Yep.

Julia: Truly.

Eric: I love that. Hell yes. Yeah, you could motor your way over there. Like.

Eric (as Reporter): Oh, hi. Who are you? Can I get an exclusive?

Amanda (as Aggie): This is Multitool here with the Laketown city three. I have this very useful exclusive that you can use to see what's really happening. And cut through the illusion of what's going on over there. Try it. Put this in front of the camera. See what happens.

Eric (as Reporter): I don't, I can't just have anyone put things on my camera.

Amanda (as Aggie): Just try it. Try it with your phone. Try with your own eyes.

Eric (as Reporter): No. No, I don't want to. My mom says I shouldn't put on glasses from strangers.

Brandon: How old is this person?

Julia (as Val): Val shows, that's a weird thing that your mom would tell you to do.

Eric (as Reporter): I'm sorry that I have a good relationship as a 34-year-old man and I live with my mother, Mrs. Blaziken.

Amanda (as Aggie): What? What needed improvement at your last performance evaluation?

Eric (as Reporter): What?

Amanda (as Aggie): Your performance evaluation. What's, why are you here in the field and not behind a cushy desk?

Eric (as Reporter): Voice?

Amanda (as Aggie): Voice?

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Reporter): My whole thing. My general demeanor.

Amanda (as Aggie): What if you let your imagery speak for itself? And nothing could add to the commentary you see through the camera.

Julia: They say a picture's worth a thousand words.

Amanda (as Aggie): They say a picture is after all worth a thousand words.

Eric (as Reporter): I haven't thought of it like that.

Eric: Yeah. Make a persuasion check for me.

Amanda: Finally, a 19!

[Brandon and Julia cheers]

Amanda: 5 + 2 for fame. Is that okay?

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: It's a 26.

Eric: Pour it on me.

Julia: Fuck yeah!

Eric (as Reporter): Wait, can I, wait, can I wear the glasses first?

Amanda (as Aggie): Sure can. You get to look as cool as you want.

Eric: Yeah, he takes the Ray-Bans and puts them on and says.

Eric (as Reporter): Do I look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun?

[siren blares]

Amanda (as Aggie): You do.

Eric (as Reporter): Is there like a smudge on here? Why does everyone? So many people look weird?

Amanda (as Aggie): You're welcome to corroborate this with independent reporting by Tegan Murphy, but this is the work of John Press, aka Gutenberg, aka the founder of Supr, these are not real heroes at all but pixel illusions and he's extorting Laketown city's population into paying for their support. Look, look on top of the creature over there, that's not Dr. Mayor Morrow. Look at it.

Eric (as Reporter): Oh, that's right. It kinda looks like Laura Croft from Tomb Raider from the N64.

Amanda (as Aggie): Please put it in front of the camera, that way everybody can see what you're seeing.

Eric (as Reporter): Okay, wait. Will you help me do that?

Amanda (as Aggie): [hesitantly] Sure. What do you need?

Eric (as Reporter): Don't run away here. I need your support. Can you protect me from getting run over the giant monster?

Amanda (as Aggie): If I go take it down I can.

Eric (as Reporter): Alright.

Amanda (as Aggie): Here's a hair tie. Affix it to the front of the camera.

[Eric laughs]

Julia: Incredible.

Brandon: Poor sweet boy.

Amanda: Aggie hands over her hair tie.

Eric: Incredible. I like that.

Julia: You pulled it out of one of many out of the pocket.

Amanda: Yes.

Eric: As you're about to run away and be like.

Eric (as Reporter): Oh, what's the deal with that? What is the deal of that guy? He kinda looks like what I want to look like. Like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.

Eric: And he's pointing at--

Brandon: Me? Thank you. That's such a compliment.

Eric: No, not you. Not Milo. He's pointing at Sour Anthony.

Brandon: Ah, god damn it!

Eric (as Reporter): He's like he doesn't. He's got a like a, has a little bit of it, but not totally made out of it. That's just so weird.

Amanda (as Aggie): Put it on the camera. Let's see it in your monitor.

Eric: Sure. He fix it to the camera, which is attached to, like, a shitty 2006 MacBook Air. I don't even think they made MacBook Air, Airs yet, but it's pretty, they're pretty bad.

Brandon: I'm pretty sure iPhones came out in 2007.

Eric: Yeah, it's attached to an, onto a first generation iPhone.

Amanda: Oh no.

Julia: Oh no.

Eric: And you're looking at it and then you see Sour Anthony is flying around trying to get into the, in the kaiju's face, punching at it in the air, almost.

Amanda: Okay.

Eric: And you also see that the rest of the Upcountry Keepers are around, strategy, kind of like Emily's trying to strategize trying to direct Flyboy, trying to point Taxonomy in a direction as well, but as you're looking up and Flyboy and Sour Anthony, like, has like he's not pixelated. It's, it's almost like, like everything else is dark other than seeing these pictures like blue and purple pixels, but it's like his whole middle is pixelated.

Julia: The fucking shit that he's always eating.

Eric: Or maybe it's just like in the middle of his top of his torso.

Amanda: Okay, we'll deal with this another time.

Eric (as Reporter): I don't know. Also, that guy's pixelated. And he points, and he points out that there's just a pixelated moose that's standing there.

Amanda (as Aggie): Fuck!

[Brandon sighs]

Amanda (as Aggie): I always knew they were phonies, but not, not this much. And I'm just gonna make sure that I look at the whole the, whole group things through the monitor.

Eric: Emily is not.

Amanda: Okay.

Julia: Okay.

Brandon: Emily must be in league with fucking Gutenberg then. Jesus Christ.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: She's been funded by Gutenberg the entire time.

Julia: But I'm trying to figure out why Sour Anthony is only partial pixels.

Brandon: Not good enough to be full pixels.

Eric: Frampton, what do you, what do you want to do, bud?

Brandon: Peter Frampton.

Eric: Peter Frampton, what do you want to do?

[Brandon chuckles]

Brandon: I would like to hop up sort of on the railing of the edge of the bridge right above the giant mountain lobster and cast Blight.

Eric: Cool.

Brandon: And so, Milo is going to hold out his hands over the edge of the bridge, and he just starts sucking the soul vitality out of this creature.

Eric: Cool.

Brandon: I'm gonna cast it at level five instead of four. And so, you would make a constitution saving throw. You would take 98 necrotic damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one.

Eric: Cool. Can you make an arcana check for me, or animal handling nature? Whatever you want.

Brandon: Oh no, I have plus not? Why is animal handling wisdom?

Eric: Yeah, it is.

Julia: Because you got to know, you know how it's like animals know when you're afraid of them. They can smell fear.

Brandon: That's true. That's true.

Julia: You have to have a calm demeanor.

Brandon: That'd be a 14 + 9 for animal handling for a 23.

Eric: Okay, awesome. Hey, you, you gotten lost in Wikipedia rabbit holes before, yeah?

Brandon: No!

Eric: No. Milo's never gotten lost through Wikipedia, right?

Eric: No! Milo doesn't have trouble sleeping sometimes and read Wikipedia for hours on end at 4am.

Eric: So relatable. Milo's, Milo is so relatable. So you, before you cast blight, you have that feeling right of the mountain lobster be, it actually being a mountain lobster, right? You think it's actually a super sized animal. And the mountain lobster carapace is already very sturdy. And the mountain lobster can also look like it has incredibly powerful eyes. They can see different shades of lights that you can't see. So, the combination of those things, and then the fact that the armor also protects it from things, before you cast blight, you're like, I'm concerned that this won't do the damage that I'm looking for. That casting magic damage will not affect the kaiju. And this super sized version of an actual mountain lobster that has incredibly resilient armor, whatever they did to this thing to make it even bigger, maybe it has resistances that I cannot deal with.

Brandon: Oh, interesting. Okay.

Eric: I'll tell you with this incredible role that this armor can be penetrated if you find the weak spots, but it needs to be hit on a melee attack to break the armor apart before you can do massive amounts of damage.

Brandon: Cool.

Amanda: The weak spot is the tum.

Eric: I also want to say as a free mechanical thing is that I'm looking for a collective check together. Brandon, make an arcana check for me.

Brandon: 16 total.

Eric: 16. You're gonna have to put a lot of, like, energy together into a single melee attack, to hit one of these weak spots. Through teamwork, you could do that. Like, it has to all go into one melee attack. You can put, like, a spell slot into the attack or, you know, however you want to do that stuff together. And the number I'm looking for is definitely above 50.

Brandon: Okay.

Julia: Ah! So, you're looking for a power of friendship.

Amanda: I can certainly become a rubber ball and you guys can throw me and guide me with magic.

Julia: You can slingshot me too.

Amanda: I can slingshot, Val. That'd be fun.

Brandon: That's fun. I love that.

Eric: I will also say, remember, there are people around that can also help you as your allies who might be able to help you in this way.

Julia: Right.

Brandon: Does that mean that I can change my action here?

Eric: Yes, correct. It's like you, you got spidey sense that you're like maybe doing blight is a bad idea.

Brandon: I think then, if you'll allow me a little bit of leeway here.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: I think then as Milo starts to suck the vitality out of this creature and gets that spidey sense. He's going to quickly switch sort of like directions and instead of sucking up vitality, I think I'm gonna try to cast a spell magic at a fifth level.

Eric: Okay.

Brandon: And I would hope to see if I can kind of fudge it a little bit to maybe not to spell because it's so powerful not to spell the, the protection of it, but like, sort of, like, make the weak spot, a bigger target, you know what I'm saying.

Eric: Interesting.

Brandon: That's what I'm hoping and you tell me, DM, what the reality is.

[Eric hums in thought]

Eric: What you can do--

Amanda: Here's a playful idea.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amanda: Are you open for that?

Eric: Yeah, for sure.

Amanda: Maybe it doesn't dispel the magic, but it does highlight it. And we can see where the magic isn't.

Brandon: That's an idea.

Julia: Like a detect magic, but...

Eric: I like that, that's a great idea.

Brandon: Cool.

Eric: We'll use, so burn a fifth level spell slot and we'll call this detect magic at a fifth level spell slot. And we will hi-- and I can and if you-- I'll highlight the, the weak spots for you.

Amanda: Like it's going through an x-ray with metal on.

Eric: Yeah, I love that.

Brandon: Cool. Yeah, let's do that then. I think the sort of flow of energy reverses and colors the spots where this creature might be most vulnerable.

Eric: Hell yes. I love that, so with the fifth level, first of all spirits surge, my man.

Brandon: Oh, yes.

Eric: And then the weak spots because you did it on a fifth level spell. The weak spots are at the top of the head and the tum, underneath the carapace.

Amanda: It's always the tum.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: I will say the, specifically I like the idea that is now, like, highlighted, like it's a Nintendo boss. You know what I mean?

[Brandon chuckles]

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: And it's like now pulsing red. It is directly underneath the chair that has been set up that Triplicate is sitting.

Brandon: Wait, I rolled a 15, so I'm up to three. I rolled a 19 on my last spirit surge on the last episode, which I did not say out loud, but...

Eric: Perfect.

Brandon (as Milo): And Milo goes, Val that was for you.

Julia (as Val): Uh, thanks. Thanks, bud. I just hit it?

Brandon (as Milo): I, I don't know. I'm just the, the highlight guy. You do the punches.

Julia (as Val): Alright, I'll do the punches.

Amanda (as Aggie): Val, let's, let's try the steak and eggs.

Julia (as Val): The steak and eggs? Fuck Yeah!

[whooshing noises]

Julia: Yay.

Amanda: Yay!

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): What's the steak and eggs, citizen?

Amanda (as Aggie): Oh, it's where I become a big slingshot and Val becomes a little, a little egg yolk. In retrospect, it wasn't the best name but we had just had some steak and eggs at the diner so I can, I can kind of like slingshot them into the tub.

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): That's interesting. Sounds, sounds like fun. What's going on here? What's all this?

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, giant mountain lobster, Gutenberg and triplicate controlling a Dr. Morrow as puppet at the top, to try to destroy her reputation as they destroy Laketown city. Also, most of the, most of the, of the private ops dudes in the, in the black shirts, some of them are, are humans. Some of them are pixels.

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Interesting. Interesting. I figured that out because I'm the greatest detective in Laketown city, but I'm glad you also figured it out.

Amanda (as Aggie): Nice to see you bro.

Brandon: You just have to look at their chest and see if it was triangles. And that's how the detective knew.

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Yeah, yeah, it was pretty. It was pretty simple. I figured.

Amanda (as Aggie): Nice to see you bro. Can you help us with, like, momentum or something?

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Oh, absolutely. That sounds fun. I like that.

Eric: Hold on. Wait a second. And this is what's happening on my turn. The world is happening. Emily Slaughter wants to get into it. Emily slaughter and the Moose of Taxonomy, right over avoiding the stomping kaiju be like.

Eric (as Emily): Hold on. What is, is, are we all working together? Are we doing a team up? If we're doing a team up, I would really like to be involved.

Brandon (as Milo): No!

Amanda (as Aggie): Hey, Emily, are you uh, are you, like, paying taxes onto employees, when in reality, you have one pixel and then a guy with a pixel tum? Is that? Is that not? Is that bad for payroll? Or?

Eric (as Emily): What are you even talking about? I-- What?

Amanda (as Aggie): Pixels guys.

Brandon (as Milo): What? What the fuck?

Eric (as Emily): I'm not made out of pixels ey. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what kind of accusations you're making towards my team. It really feels like this animosity needs to be put out of the way when we have a city wide emergency event happening. That's just, I just think that's fair. I just think that we can do that. Here's the thing, I have identified, I don't know if you could tell, but there are weak points in two places on the massive mountain lobster.

Julia (as Val): Already highlighted.

Brandon (as Milo): The ones that are, yeah, highlighted right now with my ghostly energy.

Eric (as Emily): Wonderful. Great. Now we can all figure it out. Now, if we can only do 1 act, one attack to hit the weak point as hard as possible. I think that if we pour all of our energy, energy and gravity, and abilities and strength into me flying up there.

Brandon (as Milo): No.

Amanda (as Aggie): No.

Eric (as Emily): Up 50 feet with my sword.

Amanda (as Aggie): No, no, no.

Brandon (as Milo): No.

Eric (as Emily): My sword is incredibly conducive to power, to powers and energies. I could be able to do it.

[Julia hums in disagreement]

Brandon (as Milo): No, you're definitely working with them, so maybe I'm gonna put you in a wall of stone cage.

Eric (as Emily): Why would I? Why would I work with them?

Julia (as Val): Don't waste spell slots on her.

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Aggie): Why don't you go take down Triplicate? That sounds great.

Eric (as Emily): Where's Triplicate? Who is Triplicate?

Julia (as Val): Up here.

Amanda (as Aggie): Thrown in front of the frickin' peep hole.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Aggie): Blow hole. What do you call it?

Eric (as Emily): Yeah.

Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah.

Eric (as Emily): No, definitely. Okay. Alright. Give me a. Flyboy, give me a, give me a flight. Give me a, give me a ride up.

Eric (as Flyboy): On it boss.

Eric: As Flyboy flies, like, hovers over and picks Emily Slaughter up like around the waist, and then, like, starts to slowly fly her up the, the kaiju mountain lobster.

Amanda (as Aggie): [whispers] Okay guys, let's hurry. She's out of the way.

Eric (as Taxonomy): Hey, what are we doing here?

Julia: Oh, Taxonomy.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Just destroy taxonomy. Just fucking kill him.

Brandon: That got me.

Eric (as Taxonomy): What? What's the plan, ey?

Julia (as Val): He's made of pixels. Destroy him.

Brandon (as Milo): You're not even real. Stop talking Moose.

Eric (as Taxonomy): What does pixels even? What does pixels even mean? I've never even seen it like the ones on my TV.

Julia: You know what, now I'm like, really concerned that these pixel people don't actually know that they're made of pixels and like.

Amanda: I know.

Julia: We're gonna, like, destroy this man over a thing that he has no idea that he's actually a part of. It's real, like, Westworld shit.

Eric: Yeah. What are you gonna do?

Julia: I'm on a lobster. I can't do anything down there right now.

Brandon: Yeah, I'm just gonna, I think I might just cast Call Lightning and zap this Moose.

[Eric chuckles]

Amanda: That's great. You should do that, Brandon.

Julia: I'm becoming so worried that this is not, like, the actual final boss battle and we're going to use all of our shit here.

Brandon: Oh, 100%. Yeah. 100%. Julia, that sounds like it's gonna happen.

Amanda: That's okay. I have a lot of key points. I'm planning on it now.

Brandon: I think mine was just sort of like, like, he's still sort of like highlighting the, the kaiju and he's sort of like, is looking over at the conversation and then turns away and just sort of, like, flicks behind him.

Amanda: So cool.

Brandon: And a giant lightning bolt comes down from the clouds and hits Taxonomy.

Amanda: Milo's on the bridge. I'm on the ground with the reporter. Before Milo acts, can I jump on the Knight of Mirror's bike and we'll move toward the mountain lobster?

Eric: Yeah, yeah, that sounds, yeah, that's great.

Brandon: Cool, okay.

Amanda: That's all I was gonna do anyway. Yeah. I'll be like, Milo, you deal with this.

[Amanda and Brandon chuckles]

Brandon (as Milo): I got it.

Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): So, he gets to me. Oh. Milo's up there? Hello!

Brandon (as Milo): Hey, what up!

Amanda (as Aggie): Let's go grab Vulcani. Come on. I'll show you what this is all about.

Eric: Alright, I will make a dexterity saving throw.

Brandon: Gotta hit 17.

Julia: How dexterous is a moose?

Brandon: Pretty dexterous, I'd say.

Julia: Uh-oh.

Eric: Kilonova you cast, the lightning bolt comes down from the sky. Just jagged. Out of a single storm cloud of the sky. And you see that Taxonomy looks up. Goes Oh, no, and turns into like a mouse, but then you still see it goes. Just fries. Just absolutely fries him out. And then the mouse dissolves into a little puff of pixels.

Brandon: No.

Amanda: No.

Julia: I'm sad, but also I'm glad to be right.

Brandon: I hate to kill any Canadians, they're so polite.

Amanda: I know.

Brandon: But.

Eric (as Taxonomy): I hate that I’m dead!

Eric: Different voice. Different animal, different voice.

Eric: But I gotta say, pretty cool badass move from Milo there. Good comic panel.

Amanda: Pretty good comic panel.

Eric: Yeah.

Eric (as Taxonomy): [in a higher pitch] Why’d you do that?

Brandon: Why do you always do this to me, Eric?

[Amanda and Eric chuckles]

[midroll sfx pings]

Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. Okay, it's true. I went on a vacation for a few days. And Eric kindly offered to take over the midroll. And he came in with the best impression of me anyone's ever done, but I gotta tell you, you know, spring is the birthday of plants. Okay, I'm just gonna say it. It's true. He said it as a joke, but it is true as reality. And I gotta tell you, there is nothing like looking at the same, you know, denuded soil patches of trees, you know, where like, your local dogs like to mark their, their scent. And you look at it all winter long and it's just dirt, dirt, dirt, garbage, snow, dirt, garbage, dirt. What's that? A little sprout of a tulip, a little sprout of a daffodil, a little sprout of an iris. It's spring, people. And when you're still in your winter coat and a little plant is bursting its way out of the soil, you know that warmer weather is coming for the plants and maybe for us. So welcome to the midroll. Tulips are, like, four inches high right now. It's huge. We did it people! We officially hit 600 patrons. I can't wait to tell you what we're doing with the poster, but first and foremost, I have got to thank everybody who helped us get to 600 in the very last hours of March. It was so exciting. Welcome to Micah, Wretched Pie, Kristen, Sloan, Paige, Bruley, Yael, Logan, Arianna, Miranda, Froody, Aphrodite’s Titties, Susan, Desmond, Sarah, Abbey, who is patron 600. Shout out Abby. Dreyva, who is moments later, Amara, Nova, and Ely! So, that's right. Yes, we did it. We hit 600 patrons and just like we promised, we are making that giant comic book cover of all the PCs and NPCs of campaign two, with the incredible, incredibly talented, incredibly kind, incredibly funny Sara Barra. That's right. This is going to be a free digital download for all patrons and of course available for everyone else to purchase as a physical poster on our merch store. We'll keep you posted when the poster is ready to come out, but patrons are going to see it first. So, if you want to be in on the action, go to patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Thank you all. We are so honored, we can't wait. So, every episode of the party you may notice we give you another way to get involved more deeply in the Multitude community. Usually, that's recommending another show in the collective but today we have a very special announcement. You have been asking for it and it is finally here. That's right we now have a discord for Multitude. It is live, it is free and it's open to the public, so any fan of Multitude show is welcome and encouraged to join. If you're new to discord, you've heard us talk about it as a patron benefit. You can think of it as a digital hub for an online community. You can come to discuss your favorite shows and stay to share recipes exchange book recommendations form clubs, play games, need a pen pal, bask in the glory of daily pet pictures, gosh they're so good, and so much more. Say hi to other Multitude fans and the hosts, we all hang out in there as well. And check out the live streams of games that we do right in the discord. Our first one was a few weeks ago. It was such a hit that we are definitely going to do more. And that's free and open to the discord which is itself a free and open to join. So, please come on in, go to multitude.productions/community. Totally free, totally for you, we're totally excited. Come on in. We are sponsored today by Ro Derm. Do you feel overwhelmed when shopping for skincare? I know I definitely do. And I asked my 23-year-old sister for advice because I don't know I feel like I'm 30. I'm too old to understand skincare. And I truly understand why a service like Ro Derm can be useful to give you personalized prescription skincare. You can schedule a free online visit to share your concerns and if they deem it appropriate, a US licensed healthcare professional will prescribe a custom RX treatment for you. Right now, new members will receive a 30-day-trial of custom RX treatment plus Ro Derm's hydrating cleanser and protecting SPF lotion for just $5 when you go to roderm.com/jointheparty. Shipping is free and you'll get free and unlimited follow ups with your health care provider to support you throughout your skincare journey. If you're prescribed to get your first month of custom RX treatment plus row drums, hydrating cleanser and protecting SPF lotion for just $5. Go to roderm.com/jointheparty, roderm.com/jointheparty. Finally, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Relationships take a lot of work, many of us will drop anything to help someone we care about. We'll go out of our way to treat others well to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it's really rare that we give ourselves the same treatment. And recently, my therapist who I've been seeing for a couple of years via BetterHelp, asked me to sort of rephrase something I said to myself as if I was saying it to one of my close friends. She had me picture a close friend of mine and I'm like okay, yes, I'm picturing her. And you know, what, what would I say to my friend in that situation. And what I said really moved me because I would give her so much more compassion, understanding, love, empathy than I was extending to myself. And that's really really powerful. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anybody on camera if you don't want to. It is much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can match with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy. Once more, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Join the Party listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jointheparty. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/jointheparty. And now, back to the show.

[midroll sfx pings]

[techno music plays]

Eric: It is now the kaiju mountain lobster's turn once again. The mountain lobster is going to look up and is at direct eye level with Milo but at first it has to swing at the columns so I'm going to attack twice.

Brandon: I rolled a 14 spell surge by the way so...

Eric: Oh wonderful.

Brandon: All good. I'm up to 4.

Eric: Cool. Alright. I rolled a 19 and a 25 so that does damage, so I'm going to see if I can--

Brandon: You don’t know my armor class!

Eric: It's not at you, it's the columns. The columns have five and each have 30 hit points each, so I'm going to do damage for those.

Julia: But it only did 28 to me so...

Eric: Shit! I rolled so badly.

Brandon: Yeah!

Julia: Good!

Eric: I rolled two eights, and then two fours, and then a two, and a two, and a one. Fuck.

Julia: Yeah!

Eric: So, I rolled 34 + 18 so that comes out to 34 + 18 is 52. That destroys one of the columns with a big crack of a massive claw but the other one that is kind of blocking, it's still pending it in, still has eight points of damage so I cannot cross forward. Though it is making direct eye contact with you, including those eye stalks so I'm gonna blast you with some lasers, my man.

Brandon: When the kaiju looks over to me, Milo blows in a kiss.

[Eric chuckles]

Eric: And can you make a dexterity saving throw?

Brandon: I can and I will.

Julia: I can but I choose not to.

Brandon: 12.

Eric: 12. The eye was looking for a 16. Please take~

Brandon: 100 points of damage.

Eric: 32 points of lightning damage as the two eye socks train on you, go.

[lightning beams]

Eric: And just roast you with badass lighting energy. Eye lightning energy.

Brandon: Ow! Ow.

Eric: Ouchy. It is also now that you have revealed him, Triplicate gets to go and Triplicate is going to roll and then Triplicate is going to go.

Eric (as Triplicate): This doesn't really seem that fair. Just one on one. Why don't we make it four on one?

Eric: As they push, like, to the side to the left and the right and the left as they, like, push out copies of Triplicate so now, now there are four of them be like.

Eric (as Triplicate): Try to hit us now. You can't. You're too poor.

[Amanda chuckles]

Brandon: Triplicate sucks.

Eric: Oh, and then I'm going, because the kaiju attacked, we're gonna do, you're gonna need a roll to hold on. Give me a um, either an athletics or acrobatics check for me, Julia.

[dice clatters]

Julia: I rolled a 11 + 9, so a dirty 20.

Eric: Hell yes, you needed a 20 to be able to use movement or because you're truly standing you're not climbing anymore, but if you, if you roll below a 20 since you hit it, I'll tell you, you roll below 20 you cannot move because it is too shaky.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: So, but you are fine you use you're saved there. It is once again the LT3's turn. It is still kind of currently trapped right in front of Highway One. The Knight of Mirrors is driving, is driving Aggie around. And once again, if you would like to hit the weak points to try to do more damage, you can but also, you know, Triplicate is there too, so there's, there's a bunch of things going on.

Julia: Would you guys mind if I do, like, an exploratory, like, quick thing?

Brandon: No, go for it.

Julia: I would like to use the unknown glasses to perceive what is past the dome.

Amanda: Cool.

Eric: Hell yes. Okay, with the unknown glasses just as a free action just putting them on. You cannot see what is in the dome. However, if you want to make a roll on it, you might be able to, like, squint real hard and then look inside.

Julia: Right, but that would be my action. Correct?

Eric: Correct.

Julia: No, I'm, I'm just gonna let someone who's got arcana and science to handle that. It's not Val's problem. They're curious, but it's not their problem right now. I would like to check out the, like, the central Triplicate, the one that the other three emerged out of.

Eric: Cool.

Julia: Just to confirm to me that this is not a pixelated version of Triplicate.

Eric: Cool. Alright. Yeah, you're looking at all of them. Here's what's funny about Triplicate, all of them look real to you. That's another thing about the unknown glasses if you put them on, like, something about what they do in terms of duplication. You cannot tell which one is the "true version" of Triplicate, however, none of them are pixelated. This is really true. These are all really Triplicate.

Julia: I don't want to correct you, but I have used the unknown glasses to see which Triplicates were real and which ones weren't before.

Eric: That's correct. That's a good point.

Julia: So, Triplicate has increased their skill in terms of creating duplicates.

Eric: That could also be a thing that maybe it's a thing that happened.

Julia: Great.

Amanda: That dog hunts.

Julia: Cool. Interesting.

Amanda: I hate how our enemies can also level up. What the fuck?

Julia: Yeah, that's fucking bullshit.

Eric: That's really rude.

Julia: That they came prepared for things.

Brandon: I would like to jump down onto this giant lobster friend. And on my way down, cast Wall of Stone and sort of create a secondary barrier in case this giant friend breaks the second pillar.

Eric: Cool. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, your bill. I like this base building game that Brandon is a part of here. Very funny. I will tell you if you jump down it will try to swing at you.

Brandon: That's fine. I was going to use my anti supernova orbs if it tried to attack me.

Eric: Hell yes. I was hoping you would.

Amanda: Love it.

Brandon: Jesus Christ. I hit my spell surge.

Amanda: Could be good. Could be good.

Brandon: Or it could suck. Seems like --

Amanda: It could be good.

Brandon: -- it could also suck.

Eric: Interesting here. Okay, let's do this spell surge. Luckily, you're not, I don't think you're touching anything anymore. I think your fire ship, your fire shoot is gone, because you didn't, you really isolated yourself there. You didn't touch anything while you were on fire.

Eric: Basic fire safety, Eric.

Eric: Don't touch it. Roll 1 D10 for me, man.

Eric: Five. That's the third five.

Eric: Oh my god.

Julia: Fives.

Eric: Make a wisdom saving throw for me.

Amanda: Oh Eric looks so amused. I hate it.

Brandon: 8 + 9 for 17.

Eric: Oh, you lucky, you lucky guy.

Julia: Oh, thank god. Thank god, Brandon. Thank you for rolling high.

Brandon: Thank Anubis.

Eric: Julia, make a wisdom saving throw.

Julia: I don't wanna.

Amanda: By Julia, did you mean Triplicate?

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda: I mixed it up all the time.

Julia: I swear to fucking god I rolled a Nat 20. I swear on the sweet baby Jesus. I'm gonna, I did, you saw me roll and then lift it. Hold on.

Eric: Yeah, there it is.

Julia: That's a Nat 20.

Amanda: Yeah!

Eric: Alright, here is what happens on your spell surge. Milo, you're about to cast Wall of Stone, you're going to continue your base building, pulling the stone out of the sky. And then once again, the, the hand, you remember the hand? The ghost hand bursts out of your chest all of a sudden and then tries to throw something at you, but I think it's like it has, like, a ectoplasm sort of, like, ghost energy in it's hand and it tries to throw it at you but I think that you've trained for so long, but like Tuna's, like.

Eric: (as Tuna) We don't do that anymore.

Eric: And swats it away.

Brandon: Tuna!

Eric: And then like, and then it flies down towards Triplicate and then all four of them, like.

Eric (as Triplicate): No way.

Eric: And then it flies at Val, and Val you swat at it and then you, like, spike it down onto the ground, like, onto the kaiju. And it goes.

[kaiju rumbling]

Eric: And it has used another legendary resistance not getting polymorphed into an okapi.

Amanda: Yeah!

Julia: Oh my fucking god! Oh my god.

Eric: That would've been incredible if it polymorphed into an okapi.

Amanda: But burned a legendary reaction so that's great.

Eric: Burned a legendary resistance, yeah.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: That's great.

Eric: (as Milo) As Milo's still in here he's like, Guys, did you see that? I've learned. I did it better this time.

[Amanda chuckles]

Eric: Incredible.

Julia (as Val): Milo you almost turned me into fucking something I don't know what.

Eric: Incredible. Alright, that is Milo's turn. Val, Aggie, what are you up to?

Julia: Milo if you have things handled up here, I'm going to go down with Aggie and try to attack the tum.

Brandon: Yeah, please.

Julia (as Val): I feel like Val says it like that too. I'm gonna go attack the tum.

Eric: Looking at the map of the kaiju that we created, it's about 60 feet for you to get to the middle carapace there.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: So, that is the amount of speed you would need. And also, I will need a check to make sure you can keep your balance.

Amanda: I think this, the steak and eggs is when Aggie stretches herself out into a steak into a trampoline. And Val becomes a little ball of protein and bounces onto the trampoline and then at whatever target we decide.

Eric: Incredible.

Amanda: With increased velocity and damage. We've practiced this, this is what we did in the training dome of doom and the Knight of Mirrors I think can help grab onto the, the back of my belt loop and, like, you know, stretch back the trampoline and help give extra oomph as we propel Val into the tum.

Eric: Cool. So, you will do with the three of you, Val? You just want to, like, jump off the side?

Julia: That's my game plan.

Eric: So, here's how we're going to do this. You're gonna throw, you're gonna jump off the side of the kaiju mountain lobster.

Amanda: Cannonball into my trampoline, really.

Eric: As a true cannonball, the Knight of Mirrors is speeding towards you as you open yourself up into a trampoline.

Amanda: Yep.

Eric: To hurl Vulcani at the spot, the 15.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: That is 15 feet up the, the weak spot in the, in the undercarriage.

Amanda: Yes. I think I'll just hold on to the back of their bike with one of my arms and then grab on to one of the columns with the other.

Eric: Hell yes. I love that. Incredible.

Amanda: And I'll be stretched all the way back.

Eric: Alright, let's do it.

Brandon: I would say I did assist with the highlights, so should I also roll?

Eric: I will give someone advantage.

Brandon: Okay.

Eric: That's very good. I will give Val advantage because you are doing the "attack." And behind, it is highlighted.

Amanda: Is the number we're trying to hit the number to attack or the number of damage?

Eric: The number to attack, so we're combining all of these. All Milo was able to know is that that number is over 50. I have not told you what that number is.

Amanda: It's like basie or whatever.

Eric: It is like the "the AC" that we are pooling all these, all of these together.

Amanda: Alright, cool.

Julia: So, I am rolling with advantage. I add +11 when I'm in a rage.

[Eric chuckles]

Amanda: I am, if I include fame, I'm plus 10.

Eric: Yeah, you can include fame. That's fine.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: And then the Knight of Mirrors is going to, is trying to, is gonna do a thing.

Amanda: Can I see how the others roll before I decide whether to use my luck or not?

Eric: No.

Amanda: Fuck. Okay. I'm gonna use my luck point.

Eric: Okay.

Amanda: Yeah, that's a 23.

Brandon: Nice.

Amanda: 27.

Brandon: Nice!

Julia: That's a 50, my guy. That's a 50, my guy.

Amanda: What did KoM get?

Eric: The number I'm looking for is 60. 27 + 23 is 50. The Knight of Mirrors has a +6 to driving, things that involve driving. I rolled a 4.

[Julia gasps sharply]

Brandon: Oh my god.

Julia: We did it.

Amanda: We did it.

[Amanda and Julia chants] Hit that tum. Hit that tum. Hit that tum.

Amanda: You can make that all sync up right Brandon, afterwards?

Brandon: Yeah, 100%.

Amanda: Alright.

Brandon: I definitely won't edit it to make it worse

[Amanda chuckles]

Julia: Rude.

Eric: Holy shit, yeah so you, Val you jump off the side of this 30-foot-tall kaiju. You curl yourself into a cannonball.

Julia: It's a swan dive and then curl into the cannonball.

Eric: Yeah, a real, a real jackknife situation. The Knight of Mirrors was not expecting to have to avoid falling debris, buildings falling, cars whizzing by, even some people wearing Supr hats who've noticed and tried to get in the way. Like.

Eric (as Supr powered folk): You can't drive your motorcycle over here. Get out of the way.

Eric: As they say, they have to, like, pull a hard right turn to avoid a crowd of people and Aggie you catch them in your, in your bouncy trampoline, hurl them at the undercarriage of the kaiju right into the throbbing red area. Do you jackknife out of it?

Julia: Oh yeah, just like full like both fists forward.

Eric: Hell yeah.

Julia: Like, like, I'm a knife opening up an oyster.

Amanda: I was just gonna say the same thing, Julia. I love you.

Eric: Incredible. Just concentrated on that, on the throbbing red weak points.

Amanda: Can you stop saying throbbing?

Julia: So uncomfortable.

Eric: It's pulsing.

Amanda: It's so uncomfortable.

Eric: The red, the like, the white x that somehow was painted off the bottom of the massive kaiju as, like, the carapace of this thing breaks apart. It's splinters and it starts to, like, implode like it's building falling down. Like a, like an explosive charge inside. And it just, like, crumbles apart. The kaiju mountain lobster lets out a horrified marine scream. Both haunting and not of this world at the same time.

Brandon: Marine scream is an excellent band name.

Eric: Thank you.

Julia: That's true.

Eric: Marine Scream, I saw them at NYU. They were pretty good. I liked them before they went on Spotify. And are you able to do damage to the, to this kaiju? Here's the other thing that happens, the tail has been up in the air pretty aloft and it lowers its tail down so as if you would like to ascend that way.

Julia: Knight of Mirrors can get up there pretty easy now.

[Eric hums in agreement]

Eric: Hell yes. Whoo boy. Alright. Yeah, y'all have done your fucking shit. It is now everyone else's turn. I think this is the time where, like, people are trying to or finally, like, stopping the kaiju. I think it is a lot from Milo obviously putting up these bases to keep it in place underneath the highway, but it seems like whatever the Supr-- the people wearing the Supr hats and the other people who are running around, like, are really starting to contain this thing and they have gotten a lot of people to safety. It's kind of, it's odd, like, the seven and a half news is still filming with the, with the lens on but I don't think anyone notices yet, but I think that whatever is happening here, like, everyone is kind of consolidating, regardless of what their intentions are. It seems like this thing is starting to get contained. There are, like, calls out be like.

Eric (as Supr powered folk): It's a good thing we stopped it. It was going to go to juice and eat all the Vitamin M Mushrooms and it would have been totally out of control.

Eric: Other people are shouting be like.

Eric (as Stranger): Vitamin M should be outlawed. I heard it's on the black market now. The FDA rejected it. The CEO of juice is in jail.

Eric: It seems like that kind of information is being spread out. And that's why the Supr people are excited or happy that the kaiju is being contained. It is now the kaiju's turn itself. It is very unhappy, so it is not going to use shooting lasers, but it is gonna swing at the guy who's throwing himself at its head.

[Amanda chuckles]

Julia: That's you, bud.

Brandon: You can't see, it's not a visual medium, but I gave a really silly smile.

[Julia fake laughs]

Eric: I got a 27 and a 17. Do those hit?

Brandon: Well, technically, yes. They would both hit but I have used the anti supernova orbs.

Amanda: Yeah!

Eric: Jesus Christ.

Brandon: So, I would be incorporeal for a round.

Amanda: Remembering our items is so fun.

Eric: I just love, I just love the claws these massive, like the size of like a truck just swinging at you and you just you touch these two orbs together and you just float on through.

[Amanda chuckles]

Brandon: You know that nightmare you have every, every third week where the ghost comes at you and you try to swing a broom at it doesn't go away?

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: Hey, Brandon what?

Brandon: That's Milo.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: What?

Brandon: Milo is a.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Milo is a good ghost now.

[Amanda chuckles]

Brandon: He looks full ghost. He's coming to haunt your ass. Haunt your ass!

Julia: Are you okay Brandon?

Brandon: No, I'm trying to make Milo seem scary.

Eric: You can turn them off as you land but you will take six points of falling damage just because it is pretty far.

Brandon: That's fine.

Eric: You, you tweaked your ankle a little bit on the fall because you weren't anticipating becoming corporeal too fast.

Brandon: Yeah, the landing is, landing is to the last point that Milo is trying to get.

Eric: I love the idea of you being a scary ghost and then all of a sudden you're like, Oh, my ankle. Oh no, I stubbed my toe. It hurts. Six damage.

[Eric chuckles]

Eric: Hell yes.

Julia: Six damage is the appropriate amount for stubbing a  toe.

Amanda: Yes.

Julia: Like, because it does feel catastrophic in the moment.

Eric: Hell yes.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: It is still Triplicate's turn and I think Triplicate just um.

Brandon: Faints.

Eric: They're just going to push out three more clones of themselves, so now there are seven Triplicates.

[Amanda groans]

Eric (as Triplicate): Like, that's fine. Do whatever you want. I don't even care about this. I don't know, what is it a crab? A big crab? I don't even care about it anyway.

Eric: (as Milo) Step two kit. You can only have three at a time. Come on.

Eric: (as Triplicates) Can you, can two of you fix the, the, the AV system? It would be, that would be nice. Can you do that?

Julia (as Val): No, I destroyed them.

Eric (as Triplicate): Ma, Marshall, Marcy, can you fix the AV system? That would be lovely.

Eric: And they're like.

Eric (as Marcy): No, I don't know how. it's what, I don't, one my hands are only for eating tiny sandwiches.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: Hell yes. Yeah, so now there are seven of them. It is now, it is now all your, all of your turn.

Julia: Eric, quick, clarifying question.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: Is this like in a video game where, like, once you have attacked one of the points enough, you know, it's destroyed. And now you got to move on to the next one to bring the whole thing down?

Eric: Not necessarily. You didn't notice, it didn't take any damage at all before, so now it is susceptible to damage but if you want to hit the weak point that is you already have you would like to destroy the kaiju. This Dr. Morrow thing is still driving it.

Julia: Right.

Brandon: Do you want to see what's in that bubble first, Julia?

Julia: I would love to see what's in the bubble.

Amanda: If we can release this friend back into the wild, I'm happy to do it. I think someone's controlling it, right? Like, if it's been living there the whole time peacefully, you know, I'd rather return it back.

Julia: Is it gooey where I broke through the carapace?

Eric: It's pretty gross.

Julia: Okay.

Eric: It's pretty gross.

Brandon: Ew!

Julia: I'm just making sure it's not, like, robot interior.

Eric: No, no, no, it is real. It is gooey. This is a real thing. You're now back on the ground safely.

Brandon: Yes. Do you describe the insides of people as gooey?

Julia: Yes, because they are.

Eric: Gooey as opposed to mechanical. Those are the, those are the two genders., Brandon.

Julia: Those are the options. Wet or not wet.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Incredible.

Brandon: Well then I think the first thing that we'll do, Eric, is I guess dispel magic.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: On this thing.

Eric: Hell yes.

Brandon: Okay, then I'll use dispel magic on this bubble thing and try to figure out what's going on there.

Eric: Cool.

Julia: Also, did Emily Slaughter and Flyboy get up there yet? I feel like they're taking two turns to fly.

Eric: Yeah, there, they are. Yeah, that's very funny. As you do that Val, Emily Slaughter is like.

Eric (as Emily): I'm here to fight crime and drink milk. And I left my milk back in my apartment.

Brandon (as Milo): Gross. Stop drinking milk. You're an adult.

Eric (as Emily): It's good for my bones.

Brandon (as Milo): It's not.

Eric: Yeah, no, it's good for bones. Fuck your Kilonova or Milo fucking know your name. Fuck you.

Brandon (as Milo): Yeah, I know your name too, its fucking jerk face, jerk face.

Eric: That's not my real name. Fuck you.

Eric: Yeah, they're up there as well. Yes, dispel magic is great. I will tell you there are two things happening in this dome at the same time, so I'm going to say that they're like, I'm going to level this up a little bit. DC15, I'm going to say roll an arcana check. I'm looking for a 15 because they're, they're kind of like two spells stacked on top of each other here.

Brandon: Cool. Are you sure I can't use animal handling?

Eric: No, you can't.

[Julia chuckles]

Amanda: Magic.

Eric: Is ar, is arcana wisdom?

Brandon: No.

Eric: Oh, then roll. Why don't you roll your wisdom, your spell doohickey.

Brandon: Oh okay. That's 14 + 9 for 23.

Eric: Jesus, that's so high. Yeah, dude. So, what you realize there are multiple spells stacked on top of each other in the dome, so you wipe away, kind of the darkness that is in that dome.

Brandon: Magical squeegee.

Eric: Yeah, it's a magical, magical squeegee. And you see that Dr. Morrow is in the, in the dome. But she is kind of just, like, walking around aimlessly, like, with her arms out. And you see, she's like, she's like shouting. She's opening her mouth, but you can't hear anything in there.

Brandon: Okay.

Eric: And then, you then, the second thing as you move to the next level, you kind of wipe it away. And it's not a real dome. It's kind of like the stuff, was the magic was holding itself in there. And what was happening, it was magical darkness layered with a dome of silence, so Dr. Morrow was being kept in both darkness and silence for note, just up there. And she's like.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): [screams] Marco! Marco!

Brandon (as Milo): Jerry!

Brandon: I usually do Ben and Jerry's instead of Marco Polo.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That doesn't make any sense. Marco. Ben and Jerry's didn't discover ice cream.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia (as Val): You did fucking Marco Polo.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Good points. Wait, I can hear and see again. What?

Brandon (as Milo): Hi.

Amanda (as Aggie): We got you Dr. Morrow.

Brandon (as Milo): It's me, Milo. Are you okay?

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No, no.

Brandon (as Milo): I mean, are you okay now? Are you better now is what I mean. Look, you're inside of a giant lobster, mountain lobster thing can you, can I save you?

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Yes, please!

Brandon (as Milo): Great, grab my hand.

Amanda (as Aggie): I can catch her. Milo, I can catch her.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Please

Brandon: Grab my hand.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay. Milo, thank you.

Brandon (as Milo): Thank you. And I pull Dr. Morrow up.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Milo, I have to tell you something. I'm still in love with your dad. Is that weird?

Brandon (as Milo): God damn it.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Is that weird?

Brandon (as Milo): Yes!

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I was trapped in darkness and silence for days and I have, I feel like I need to say something.

Brandon (as Milo): I'm gonna throw you onto Aggie now.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay. Cannon Ball! Weeh!

Julia: I love this.

Amanda: She has to make a DC13 saving throw.

Eric: Okay. Wonderful.

[Eric laughs]

Eric: Dr. Morrow rolled an 11.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: What's her, what's her dex?

Eric: One.

Amanda: Okay, so she takes half damage.

Eric: Okay.

Amanda: And she moves horizontally half the distance fallen, so she bounces up by 15 feet and then falls.

Brandon: Oh no.

Eric: So, she takes falling damage because she fell 15 feet.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: That's just 2, that's, that's 2D6. That's fine.

Julia: Should be fine.

Brandon: She sprains an ankle.

Eric: Yeah, she took 3, she rolled a 2 and a 1, she took three damage. She just bounced and be like.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I've never felt so alive.

Eric: And then like.

[Dr. Morrow winces in pain]

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): My bones.

Amanda: Aggie will contract again and put her on the Knight of Mirrors' motorcycle.

Eric: I love that. You save Dr. Morrow. Triplicate is like.

Eric (as Triplicate): I hate when there's Happy Endings

Brandon (as Milo): Hey, Triplicate if no one's ever told you this just in, like, your, your regular life. You are not pleasant to be around.

Eric (as Triplicate): I know. That's the whole point of being aristocracy, then you can be as terrible as you want and no one could say it to your face.

Eric: (as Milo) Alright, well, where's the revolution, baby? Let's go. Julia.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Let me eat cake. I want to eat cake now.

Julia: Can I Supercharger my way back up the mountain lobster. I'm at its tum right now. Can I climb up one of its non-claw legs?

Eric: Yeah, make an, make an athletic check for me.

Julia: Great. I rolled a Nat 20. Waste of a Nat 20.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, incredible. Yeah, you can just, you do it with one hand. It's real rude.

[Julia hums in agreement]

Eric: You do those things where it looks like, you know, like Olympic climbers where it looks like they're throwing themselves up the wall as you're doing it. And you're doing it up legs. Yeah, with a Nat 20, you, you can totally make it up there with all your speed.

Julia: Cool, supercharger. I would like to then take an attack.

Eric: On who?

Julia: Pixel Dr. Morrow.

Eric: Oh, hell yes. Make an attack, baby.

Amanda: Punch it in the singular boob.

Julia: Not a great roll. Can I use my fame?

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: Okay, so it's 6 + 14, so a dirty 20.

Eric: Cool. Yeah, that damn, roll damage made.

Julia: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 9 + 3, 12. Plus an additional 9. That's 21 damage.

Eric: Cool. Make another attack.

Julia: 18 + all the fucking things I said before.

Eric: Hell yes.

Julia: Great. And then.

[dice rolls]

Julia: 16 plus all the fucking things I said before.

Eric: Goddamn. This is what I get. You make an AC 20, and it's still you're just, Julia's gonna fucking melt it.

Julia: 16 on the second attack.

Eric: Cool.

Julia: 19 on the third attack.

Eric: That thing bursts. You just, you combo three times. I think there's like a fiery uppercut and it just bursts into pixels. Be like.

Eric (as Pixel Morrow): I am the real Dr. Morrow.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric (as Pixel Morrow): Just kidding. No, I'm not. I was a simulacrum for tricks, treats.

Julia: I know. I've used all my actions. Can I grab the helm?

Eric: Yeah, you can grab the helm.

Julia: Cool. I would like to turn this mountain lobster around.

Eric: Give me an ammo, animal handling check.

Julia: Sure.

Brandon: If only you had +9.

[Amanda chuckles]

Julia: If only I didn't have +0 to this roll.

[dice rolls]

Julia: 10.

Amanda: Can I help at all? I haven't done anything this turn except for catch Dr. Morrow.

Eric: If you can figure out a way to get up there.

Amanda: Can I wiggle my body like one of the guys at a, at a used car lot and try to distract the mountain lobster to go in the direction Val is going?

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: You're gesticulating?

[Brandon and Eric laughs]

Eric: Yeah. I'm gonna give Val advantage. Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah!

Eric: It's like turn around, turn around. I also like the idea that it's, like, you're trying to tell it to turn around. Also, it will turn around because, like, the whole beginning is blocked by two columns. 1 is already destroyed. And now a massive castle wall in front of it from Brandon's base building like it's Fortnite.

Julia: I rolled a 17.

Eric: Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Julia: That does it?

Eric: Hell yeah, you see, you can throw the wheel to the right like a jaunty pirate.

Amanda: Can they steer it through the one column gap?

Brandon: Oh, I could just.

Amanda: Oh okay.

Brandon: Dispel everything.

Amanda: Alright.

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Like, if the mountain lobster is getting turned around, you can definitely, like, do a three point turn in the cages as Brandon, yeah, you can dispel those columns.

Brandon: When the mountain lobster backs up, does it have a beep?

Eric: Oh you know it does.

[Amanda giggles]

Julia: Val makes the noise with their mouth.

[beeping noises]

Eric: But it's shooting lightning into the air.

[beaming lightning]

Eric: Wonderful. I think while this is all, all this is happening, Emily Slaughter and Flyboy are attacking Triplicate.

Julia: Good.

Amanda: Shocker.

Eric: Truly --

Julia: Useful.

Eric: -- swinging. Truly swinging on them. Emily is swinging, is trying to swing at Triplicate, the Triplicate clones with her magic sword. And Flyboy is just trying to do, is doing, like, real, like, Bare Knuckle boxing techniques.

Brandon: God, what an idiot.

Eric: I know. Okay, so as Emily Slaughter and Flyboy are swinging at these Triplicates, Emily Slaughter has three attacks. She does.

Eric (as Emily): Protecting my friends strike, agh! Defending justice stabbed, agh! And calls out all four moves. And she takes out three of them while Flyboy pummels one of them but all of them are clones; are doubles. Kinda just get laid on the ground and then you see that, like, more have grown, like, they kind of just replaced themselves. And then you hear from behind.

Eric (as Triplicate): Oh well I've had a lot of fun but I guess it's time for me to go. I'm sure we'll meet again soon. Ta, ta.

Eric: And then once again, Triplicate just backs away from the back of the kaiju and just, like, falls backwards off of the, the mountain lobster. And then you see just like.

[parachute plops]

Eric: And then the parachute comes, comes out or like a hang glider, like, pops out of, pops out of the back of their outfit.

Brandon: A squirrel suit. A squirrel suit.

Eric: Yeah, like squirrel suit. Yeah, they open their, they open their arms out of the, it's been a squirrel suit the entire time.

Amanda: Damn it! A functional cape! I'm so jealous.

Eric: It's this full tweed suit with, like, very large, like almost harem pants style and you realize those harem pants and the extended to the sleeves as well and has been a squirrel suit the whole time as Triplicate disappears. I think as you steer the kai-- the mountain lobster kaiju back to the water from whence it came, it seems like the emergency has been taken care of.

Julia: There's still a giant kaiju mountain lobster living in our lake.

Eric: That's pretty bad, but at least it's not stomping through shit anymore.

Brandon: The wildlife and park services now know that so they can, you know, contain it somehow.

Eric: As a Vulcani is steering the kaiju back to the lake, Dr. Morrow says.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): So, I had a terrible time. What have you, what have you been up to lately?

Brandon (as Milo): You know, the normal stuff. Playing Halo, saving the world.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Cool, wonderful, wonderful.

Brandon: As you can't tell, Milo's a little awkward with his ex.

Julia: And your dad's ex. That's weird, huh?

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Aggie): Breaking into government buildings, channeling alternate timelines. You know, the uz.

Julia (as Val): Yeah, don't do anything with black holes. I know that's a weird kind of broad over– overbearing warning, but maybe don't.

Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Sounds good. It's much better than what I've been going through over the last few days. Does anyone want to get a hot dog?

Brandon (as Milo): I would love a hot dog.

Julia (as Val): Oh my god. Yes.

Amanda (as Aggie): Let's do it.

Eric: As the ambulances and the fire trucks and the disaster relief of Laketown city. There's like you turn the page and now there's an entire panel of, like, kind of cleaning up the rubble here. There still are some super people around with their super hats, everything but they are keeping their distance and they are cleaning up the rubble. I think there is one lone hot dog vendor that is, like, handing out hot dogs to all of you. And it's you three, Dr. Morrow, Wendy, and Lou, and Room and Wyvern, and even Emily Slaughter and Flyboy have grabbed a hot dog and are putting way too much relish on their frank. And you did it. You guys saved Laketown city definitively.

Brandon: Yay! We did it.

Eric: Oh, this isn't over. There's still a lot more shit to do.

[Join the Party theme music plays]

 

Transcribed by: John Matthew M. Sarong