What’s lurking inside the boathouse? Has to be more than just some oversized teenagers. Val leads some freshmen. Aggie suits up for hockey. Milo introduces the animals.
Housekeeping
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time, on Join the Party…
Eric: As Aggie, Val, and Milo wait for the call to action from Emily Slaughter they have some business to attend to. Val gets some damning photos about what went down at the auction from their mob boss father. Milo unlocks the ghost who was trapped in Dr. Morrow’s science experiment, and Aggie tries to find out more about the Nephews but is interrupted by her youngest sister. That night Emily sends them the mission: scout out the Nephews boathouse at the lake in historic Lake Town. Val and Milo try to unlock the garage as Aggie bluffs her way in pretending to be the Nephews super. They don't buy it and Aggie finds herself surrounded by goons. When your nephew, your nephew all the way from your first lobster pie to your last dying day, let's get the party started!
[Theme music]
[Waves hitting the shore, bugs chirping]
Eric: Milo and Val, you are outside of the metal garage that is blocking your entrance into the bottom of the boathouse. there is a very heavy lock. I will say just to give this some more context the lock is tied to a chain which loops around the garage and a loop in the concrete and there's a very heavy lock that holds it together.
Julia: That I tried to break earlier.
Eric: Yes as you tried to [laughs] as Val tried to smash it open with a rock, and you are unable to do so. At this moment as you're inspecting this big metal lock you hear from Milo's phone which is calling Aggie’s phone there is this angry voice that says
Eric (as angry voice): Hey I know who you are, and you're not going anywhere!
Eric: Aggie upstairs, there is a smaller about 20 year old who's getting up in your grill, and three very large high schoolers, including the one with the patchy beard who you talk to as well are menacing closer to you.
Amanda (as Aggie): If you actually live here, I know you know who I am. Question is who the fuck are you?
[Collective woahs]
Julia: Shit!
Brandon: Got em!
Eric: So what are you trying to intimidate them? What are you trying to do?
Amanda: Yeah these guys are gonna prevent me from leaving. I'm gonna do my damnedest so that they don't underestimate what they're doing.
Eric: Okay, why don’t you make an intimidate check, and I'm gonna do an intimidate check back.
Brandon: New Aggie is my new favorite character.
Amanda: The thing is that I've said “you think you're better than me” for the last month.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Sorry.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda:I got a 14.
Eric: Oh no I got a 15.
Julia: Oh no come on!
Amanda: Shit.
Eric: The smaller guy he just has like a really like a wispy moustache that he’s holding onto he's like
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): You don't need to know who the fuck I am, I'm the boss around here.
Amanda (as Aggie): So you don’t need to know who the fuck I am!
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): Get ‘em boys!
Amanda (as Aggie): I came by to check on your gas. You're really gonna do this?
Eric: And two of the large boys are gonna come grab you—
Amanda: Good luck.
Eric: So they're both gonna try to grapple you, I'm gonna make an athletics check and you can make either an athletics or an acrobatics check to get from being grappled.
Amanda: Let's do acrobatics.
Eric: Okay so we're gonna do the first—
Amanda: I'm gonna try to like duck and sweep my leg to kick them down
Eric: Okay.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: First one’s a 10.
Eric: Well the first one I had a natural one
Amanda: Yeaah!!
Eric: So you want to sweep his leg?
Amanda: I want to duck under his arms yeah and sweep his leg.
Eric: Alright yeah you definitely do that and he falls on its butt, and it's really embarrassing he falls in like a puddle of Gatorade—
Amanda: Great!
Eric: So he's prone and—
Amanda: I hope it’s red. Go fuck yourself.
Eric: It’s definitely red, it's gross!
Brandon: Even through the phone Milo is like
Brandon (as Milo): Oh man that's embarrassing.
Eric: He’s like “oh I know what flavor it is.” And then we're gonna do another grapple check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: [gasps] Natural 20.
[Collective OOOOH!]
Julia: Yes!
Eric: Yeah what do you do to this lad?
Amanda: Okay so I'm gonna see that he's coming at me with his arms outstretched like a scooby-doo villain, and see these off-balance a little bit so I'm just gonna shove him on like one side of his giant chest and he's gonna pirouette around and then knock into like the kitchen and pots and pans are gonna fall over him.
Eric: Sure! this kind of clank clank clank clank
Eric (as goon): Oh no! That’s where I make my mac and cheese!
[Amanda laughing]
Julia: Oh now I want mac and cheese!
Eric (as goon): Hey that’s the good one for the hot plate!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Alright so they try to attack you, Aggie, this is kind of a loose initiative, it is your turn. You have the two guys one is prone, and the other one is mixed up at the moment so they're momentarily incapacitated, and you have the other two in front of you what do you do?
Eric (as goon): Hey Mantis, the super seems really actually kind of strong. Maybe we shouldn't mess with her.
Eric (as Mantis): [with a cartoony villain voice] I'm gonna mess with whoever I want! See? I’m gonna take her down!
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda: I’m gonna give you one more chance to walk away from this.
Eric (as Mantis): I've never walked away from anything! E-except for my friends who didn't care for me. I walked away from them, and then I made new friends, I made family these are all my cousins!
Julia: I like that this guy sounds like Shadow from Sonic the Hedgehog—
Brandon: Oh my god it does.
Julia: Mm-hmm.
Eric: This is great.
Amanda: Okay, I am going to just do some martial arts monk shit and I'm going to—
Eric: [Laughing] Classic.
Amanda: I'm gonna do to you unarmed strikes against him, and shove him backward and then try to just do kind of like a Vulcan nerve pinch. Like just try to sort of shove him down with my hand around the back of his neck, I don't want to like punch and leave a bruise or anything, but I do want to put him down.
Eric: Yeah, do some attacks!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Alright, 11 plus dex, that's a 16 to hit.
Eric: Um, that hits. Why don't you roll damage for the first one. So do you want these to both be unarmed?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Okay so then do your unarmed damage.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: That's a 7.
Eric: Okay so the the guy with the wispy moustache be like
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): AHH! NO! I don’t wanna get hit in the fight!
Eric: And he jumps behind the big teenager, the big high schooler. That damage goes to the big high schooler.
Amanda: Aw beans.
Amanda (as Aggie): Your friend’s a coward.
Eric (as goon): Ah well you know we're family so it's hard for that—
Eric: So that seven damage goes to the big high schooler.
Amanda: I'm gonna roll my eyes and shove him backwards as well with the hopes that both of them fall down.
Eric: Okay so you're gonna do a shove attack?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Great!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 12 +5 for 17!
Eric: Okay 17, um okay why don't you do damage, and we'll see what happens.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 4 +3! 7.
Eric: Okay so that's 7 so that one, you're doing to the big high schooler. The big high schooler, you've knocked him out. So you—
Brandon: Aggie! Aggie! Aggie! Aggie!
Eric: Yeah you can push him over and you—
Amanda: So can the other guy be entombed underneath his friend like a coward?
Eric: Yeah, let me let me make a dexterity saving throw. You know I come up with these fights and I'm like you know what you seem pretty deadly, and immediately I roll like shit—
Amanda: I’m a monk, baybee!!
Julia: You say you love monks. and yet.
Eric: Okay yeah, I think he's stuck under the big high schooler.
Amanda: Definitely so while I'm here further into the kitchen, can I do another investigation check and just see if there's anything else I missed in terms of clues of what these brats’ criminal enterprise actually is?
Eric: Yes absolutely so you can do an investigation check. If you stay in there the other big goons will come after you eventually just you know.
Amanda: Okay!
Eric: Do an investigation check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Uh 9.
Eric: Okay what are you exactly are you looking for?
Amanda: Actually, I’m gonna use a luck point and reroll.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: A 10.
Eric: Alright so what exactly are you looking for? Ask me a question.
Amanda: I'm looking for is there anything like hung up or near the door that goes downstairs that indicates what might be down there?
Eric: Yes that is a really good question. Next to the stairs going into the garage area that we've talked about, there are a set of goalie hockey pads. You can't really see what has messed them up so much but they do look like there are pieces taken out of it. So if someone's going downstairs you think that they're putting on these hockey pads and they're getting roughed up. It's kind of like when you see those videos of attack dogs like being trained and they have those oversized pillows you know like they wear it's like that.
Brandon: Are you telling me there are puppies downstairs, Eric?!
Eric: Yes this is Puppy Party. That’s exactly what’s happening.
Julia: We are not opening that door.
Amanda: Big fluffy dogs.
Eric: Okay I will say that Milo and Val do not know that.
Julia: No I know, Julia does not want to open the door but Val is ready to break it down.
Eric: Okay the two other lads are gonna come at you Aggie, and they're gonna try to grapple you again.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: So they get up and they're both like
Eric (as goon): Oh! Oh no, I sat in Gatorade. It’s never gonna come out!
Eric: And they're both gonna try to grab you, so again making athletics or an acrobatics role.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: What's that Julia?
Julia: That's another nat 20 brah.
Eric: Jesus Christ.
Brandon: Holy shit.
Eric: Alright so this is gonna be the one with the Gatorade on his body, what do you do him?
Amanda: Great, how is he coming at me?
Eric: He has to stand up, and he's trying to get some of the Gatorade off, he tries to wipe it off with a paper towel. Then his rest of his movement he's just coming at you to give you a bear hug from behind.
Amanda: Oh from behind.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Cool, I am going to— Julia can you give me some vocabulary to describe what I'm gonna do here? I'm gonna so he's coming at me from behind—
Julia: He's going for the waist lock.
Amanda: Yes, I am going to squat down and then when he tries to grab me like pop up to like pop him over me on his back.
Julia: You're basically doing a hip up. But like I guess probably doing like a hip toss or an arm drag involved in that?
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Hell yeah! Whatever that means! I love that!
Amanda: Exactly!
Brandon: Hell yeah!
Amanda: He's trying to grab me but instead he finds himself on his back, wind knocked out of him, Gatorade on his butt.
Eric: I like that, roll for damage.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 7!
Eric: 7 damage, he does not look like he's having fun, and then the other one who got messed up in the pots and pans is gonna come at you again, athletics or acrobatics
Julia: Mac and cheese guy.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 13.
Eric: Alright I rolled on 19, so the one you he is upset that you ruin his mac and cheese, so again he's gonna come at you from the side and he's a big guy. I think he has about a foot on you and he just gets you in like a bear hug from behind and he's gonna try to walk you over to the stairs
Amanda: Oh boy.
Eric: Yeah at this point the one who's under the passed out guy is like
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): Yeah throw her down there! She deserves it!
Amanda (as Aggie): You guys really don't want to know what happens when I call my backup okay?
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): Yeah you don't really want to know what's in our basement!
Amanda (as Aggie): Actually, I'm really curious I'd love to know. Please show me.
Eric (as wispy mustache kid): Well you-you can see yourself!
Eric: We're gonna cut back to Milo and Val, I think you hear the basement line, and now you are still standing in front of the garage.
[Waves crashing against the shore]
Julia: Val just looks at Milo's like
Julia (as Val): Well that sounds bad—
[Eric laughing]
Julia (as Val): Do you have anything with your weird ghost powers that can get us into the garage? Or should we just run through the front?
Brandon (as Milo): I am looking I genuinely don't think I do.
Julia (as Val): Alright then we'll just run to the front, if you don't have anything.
Brandon: Yeah I mean I do have charm person so we can like get our way into it.
Julia: Cool, let's do it.
Eric: Alright I want both of you to make perception checks,
Julia: Sure, it's not my specialty.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: I got a 6.
Brandon: I got an 8 +5 for 13.
Eric: Wonderful, Val there's this like greenery kind of everywhere in between all of the bungalows and say if this is over at the where the lake is I think that there's just some woods that kind of transverse the whole just like in between everything and there is some definitive rustling happening from the bushes.
Julia: Alright, I'm trying to like understand how I noticed it with a 6, and Brandon didn't notice it with a 13.
Eric: Listen, perception can mean a lot of things Julia.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia: Alright Val’s gonna— yeah Val’s gonna rage up and then go investigate.
Amanda: Yeaaah!
Eric: [Laughing] Alright, what does it look like? Val investigates while raging?
Julia: It's just vibrating. Just a normal person investigating rustling in the bushes but they're vibrating, you know!
Eric: She's like “wait I have to go do something” [makes buzzing noise]
Amanda: [With a thick New York accent] Woodland creature you think it better than me hiding in the bushes?
Julia (as Val): Well, you know it could be like a mountain lion or like a very very vicious raccoon. You should see the ones that hang out at my mother's house they're very mean they fight over the garbage.
Brandon (as Milo): Val what are you talking about we're what there's no raccoons? What are you doing?
Julia (as Val): There’s something in the bush over here, hold on one second. .
Brandon (as Milo): I don’t hear anything.
Eric: “Hey, I'm gonna go check out this racoon,” and you have brass knuckles, amazing.
Julia: Yeah! I’m gonna fight this racoon.
Eric: So you push through kind of the wooded area here and you see that there are three shadows, you hear that there rustling and you can make out like three bodies back there.
Julia: Are there any like low-lying branches on the tree?
Eric: Yeah, definitely.
Julia: Val’s gonna chop at one of the branches to see if these figures move at the sound of a large branch.
Eric: Amazing!
Julia: Yeah yeah, yeah see if I can do it.
Eric: Yeah, I think that you swing on the branch and it's one of those heavy loose ones and it pops back and it like hits all the people who are standing there like
Eric (as unknown person): Hey what are you doing?
Julia (as Val): What are you doing?
Eric: You look up and there are just some college kids standing in front of you, they’re all wearing all black, but of course the oh sometimes the only black that you have are like black with white writing on it.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: The band shirt the.
Eric: Yeah, one’s wearing a band shirt, the other one was wearing like black pants but have sequins on it—
Brandon: Tuxedo pants.
Eric: One of them’s wearing a shirt that is like the the tuxedo shirt but it's the one that look just looks like a tuxedo.
Amanda: I’m sure someone has their LBD over like yoga pants.
Eric: Yeah definitely.
Julia (as Val): What are you doing?
Eric: We see that all of them have are wearing lanyards, and they all have their student IDs from Morrow University. All the kids are startled and try to run from you.
Julia (as Val): What are you doing?! If you're gonna wear all black at least put it inside out so you dumb tuxedos not showing.
Eric (as college student): [Frantically] But it’s the only one I had!!
Julia (as Val): Put it inside out you stupid idiot.
Eric (as college student): Go away!
Julia (as Val): You go away!
Eric (as college student): You’re a stupid idiot!
Julia (as Val): What? You know—
Eric: They're running.
Julia: Okay.
[Amanda laughing]
Julia: I don't think Val’s gonna run after them.
Eirc: That's fine.
Julia: Did Val see any names on the student lanyards by any chance?
Eric: Make an investigation check.
Julia: I’ve got -1 to that.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Val doesn’t care what they’re punching though—
Julia: I a 17 though.
Eric: You know this is River Greens, long blonde hair tied up in a man bun and their beard doesn't connect yet.
Julia: They just fuckin’ run off?
Eric: Yeah, all three of them go in different directions, but you were able to see one of theirs was named one of their IDs was River Green.
Amanda: Was it that it was helpfully offset against a white bib of a tuxedo shirt?
Eric: Yeah he was the one wearing the tuxedo shirt 100%. River Greens with an S, spelled like river and then greens g r e e n and then s.
Julia: Val yells after them
Julia (as Val):I saw your face!
Eric (as River): No you didn’t!
Julia (as Val): River!
Eric (as River): Ahhh!!!
Eric: Milo, Val has gone and done something else, what do you do?
Julia: [Laughing] Sorry.
Brandon: Ahhhhh um crap so hearing that Aggie sort of has things handled, and I figure they're gonna come to the basement I think I'm gonna try to follow Val. I need my backup here and so I'm gonna try to run into the brush and see what's going on with Val.
Eric: Okay you see Val's standing kind of in the woods.
Julia: Looking pissed
Brandon (as Milo): Uh… Val?
Julia (as Val): Fucking college students came by, I don't think they were supposed to be here, but I don't think they have anything to do with what's going on at the boathouse.
Brandon (as Milo): College kids are not supposed to be anywhere we all can agree on that. Can we—
Julia (as Val): They should be in their dorms and that's it.
Brandon (as Milo): Exactly, should we go back and help Aggie do you think?
Julia (as Val): Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. I got super distracted.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah it seems like maybe let's go.
Eric: Alright so now we're gonna go back to Aggie. Aggie you were in the clutches of this oversized high schooler, and the other high schooler with the Gatorade on his pants is getting up, and the smaller one is still is yelling stuff at you as he’s pushing him off of him he's like
Eric (as wispy mustache): Yeah you're gonna see what's down there! You can get what's best for you!
Eric: You would try to escape from the grapple because it is your turn. But you were currently grappled that means that you can't move in you're kind of at the whim of this guy who's holding you.
Amanda: So I think my action is I'm gonna have to just try to break this grapple.
Eric: Wonderful.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 16 +3 for 19.
Julia: Heck yeah.
Eric: Yep I rolled a 10 yeah you break out of the grapple.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: So you still have your movement—
Amanda: Enemies behind me.
Eric: Yeah you have the goon who’s around you, the other goon who's getting up with Gatorade on him and then you have the leader.
Amanda: I'm gonna grab the goalie pad and go downstairs.
Eric: You're gonna just willingly go down the stairs?
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: Alright, cool you want to grab all the pads?
Amanda: I'm gonna swoop up whatever I can in one arm, so if I can, put my arms through the chest pad or something.
Eric: Yeah I'll let you grab the chest pad.
Amanda: Alright, nice!
Eric: Yeah you can run down the stairs.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna use all my speed and head down to the bottom of the stairs, trying to assess the situation as I go. I feel Aggie’s not gonna leave a house with something mysterious and possibly dangerous in the basement in Lake Town City.
Eric: Nice okay, there is also a key on the wall and there's another very large padlock on this. I'll let you open the lock but, I will say to the your character you're like there is a big lock keeping something in there.
Amanda: Oh yeah no I'm gonna open it.
Eric: Okay, cool, yeah you grab the the chest plate—
Amanda: Yeah!
Eric: And you grab the key and you want to run in there?
Amanda: Yeah!!
Eric: Alright cool. So what do you what does it look like?
Amanda: I think in a self-defense class or something or just like out in the streets of Lake Town City, I would have just learned how to break a hold like that. I’m gonna put my elbows into his bicep to just like break the hold, and then it's kind of just like burst forth as quick as I can and cause I'm facing the door, I can hear the movements behind me people getting ready so I'm just gonna use my left arm to grab the biggest pad that I can reach, I'll grab the key on the same swoop people have clearly done both these things in succession so they're like hung right next to each other and then unlock the padlock and run down the stairs.
Eric: So you're now in a— so the light—
Amanda: It feels good to make destructive choices!
Eric: It's wonderful, I love it.
Brandon: Welcome to my world Amanda!
Amanda: The ghost in my chest did it! You can't blame me!
[Brandon and Julia laughing]
Eric: The Brandon Grugle story. So there are like shitty halogen lights upstairs but there's just nothing, no lights down there. It's also like dank and wet and like the ground is a combination of wet sand, and dry sand you can never get like a real footing, and the only light is streaming in from the stairs. Behind you the leader says
Eric (as Mantis) Yeah that's exactly what we wanted you to do! Good!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yep, but I did it myself so it doesn't count. So ha!
Eric (as Mantis): No, it does count! Now you're in danger!
Eric: You hear like bubbling and the size of this— so a boathouse is supposed to dock boats so you can easily put like two sailboats with their sails down in here, it's like a big garage. But at the bottom instead of concrete it's as wet and dry sand coming together and, from the outside from where Val and and Milo were you see that eventually it would slip into the water. But instead of there being any boats there is a pretty sizable above-ground pool. Inside that above-ground pool is a mountain lobster the size of a Volkswagen buck, and it's staring right at you and making bubbling sounds in your general direction. Just like
[Eric makes a high pitched raspberry noise]
Amanda (as Aggie): Hi, pal!
Eric (as mountain lobster): [high pitched noise]
Amanda: I'm gonna pull a granola bar out of my pocket and toss it in unwrapped.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah, unwrapped?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: What a kindness!
Eric: Amazing, amazing, I want you to make an animal handling check.
Amanda: Sure!
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: A non-natural 20. Animals love me!
Eric: [laughing] Oh my god, animals love you. Yeah with a 20 yeah you throw the granola towards the oversized mountain lobster the giant mountain lobster—
Amanda: Why lob it? Underhand! This is not a threat.
Eric: You lob it and it's like bobbing in just this water in the oversized pool and then it lifts out a giant claw I kind of like pokes at it and like
Eric (as mountain lobster): [High pitched raspberries inquisitively]
Eric: And one of it’s googly eyes kind of looks down at it. It's kind of like poking at it, and they try to cut it in half and eventually cuts it in half, and it grabs like half of it it just like shoves and it's like a little mouth.
Brandon: Portion control.
Julia: Very important.
Amanda: Adorable.
Eric: Alright let's go back to Val and Milo.
Julia: Okay/
Eric: What are you guys doing?
Brandon (as Milo): Val I think this is our chance to be heroes. Our first real chance to be heroes, we can break in the front door and say ”no crime!” And stop them, and then go help Aggie.
Julia (as Val): Love that besides the “no crime” part.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah that's fair.
Eric: Tuna is now like floating above Milo and is like
Eric (as Tuna): Hmm Aggie’s gonna love that part where you ran away to look at kids in the woods.
Julia (as Val): Don’t tell.
Brandon (as Milo): Tuna, go away please, we don’t need you anymore.
Eric (as Tuna): Mmmokaybye!
Eric: And then Tuna disappears.
Julia (as Val): How fast are you?
Brandon (as Milo): I’m what [stammering] I uh I I’ve I’ve run some races here and there on the playground.
[Eric laughing]
Julia: Out of character how fast are you?
Brandon: 30 speed.
Julia: Okay it's about the same.
Eric: You can both do it, if you both want to spend your time getting back to the front you can.
Julia: Would I be able to use my charger feat though? And potentially punch someone as I break through the door.
Amanda: You're raging right?
Eric: Yes if both of you want to dash over there and then I would let you use the the charger feat because you are raging.
Julia: Alright let's do it!
Eric: Okay cool—
Brandon: So as Val is going to bust through the door I also felt a little jealous so I'm gonna try to make an entrance. So I'm gonna cast chill touch which is it just makes a giant ghostly skeletal hand in front of me, and it's gonna look really menacing.
Eric: Nice! I love it, alright yeah so you two run over and you throw open the door so you see that there are two really tall children and a teenager just looking down these stairs and they look a little they look surprised, but they're also like relieved,
Eric (as goon): Well we don't have to deal with her anymore sounds great. Oh it stopped— we gotta go!!
Julia: And then Val just punches him in the face.
Eric: Alright, great!
Amanda: Excellent!
Eric: What is charger?
Julia: It means I can make a melee attack as a bonus action when I dash.
Eric: Okay cool so you're gonna get all the way in there and you can do a bonus action to punch this guy.
Julia: I ran at least 10 feet in a straight line so I gained +5 to my attacks damage, or I can push the target 10 feet away actually, I think I'm gonna push the target 10 feet away and push him down the stairs.
Amanda: Daaaang!
Eric: Sure yeah let's see if you hit if the attack right.
Julia: Great!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Well it was an 18 plus my strength which is 5 so it's a 23!
Amanda: YE!
Brandon: Dang!
Eric: [laughing] Okay so he sees just vibrating and running up on him —
Amanda: Ghostly hand behind you!
Eric: Yeah and he's going
Eric (as goon): AHH! Protect me!
Eric: And he grabs one of the large children and puts him in front of my forgot he had that so now he's replaced the one who was caught up in the pots and pans who has not been done any damage to. So I will let you because he switched someone, I will let you do damage or push them.
Julia: Okay then I'll do damage.
Eric: Okay!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright, so it's gonna be so that's a 6
Eric: Mhm.
Julia: +5, plus an additional 5.
[Collective cheering]
Eric: Alright, so yeah what does it look like when you just run in?
Julia: I just punch him in the face.
Eric: You just run in and he’s like “AHH!” and this large child in front of you?
Julia: Yeah, and that child goes down.
Eric: Amazing that child goes down that child goes down this crumples.
Brandon: High schooler right? Like at fighting age?
Eric: Oh definitely fighting age but he's like an oversized high schooler and he's in deep.
Amanda: He can drive.
Eric: Yeah yeah alright so now uh Milo since you said you would want to do that next, who do you want to chill touch?
Brandon: I'm gonna join— like what I recognize that is the leader?
Eric: Oh yeah you would know.
Brandon: Okay then yeah, I'm gonna send my chill to the leader and say
Brandon (as Milo): It's time for you to chill.
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: [Chuckles] And then a ghost hand comes out like
Eric (as ghost hand): I don’t understand the symbology of that!
Brandon (as Milo): I don’t either!
Eric: Is that an attack?
Brandon: Yeah it's an attack so I make a range spell attack against the creature, and on a hit it takes 1d8 necrotic.
Eric: Okay make it an attack roll please!
Amanda: I love that necrotic damage.
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: Well that would be a 7.
[Julia laughs]
Eric: Interesting, interesting, yeah that does not hit. So I think that you focus too much on the chill pun and then this skeleton hand is like “what? I don't under— I don't understand that joke”
Brandon: Does it still look cool as hell though?
Eric: It looks really cool but it just does not do any damage, it's very spooky.
Brandon: So I also have to roll on my spiritual surge table cause I just cast a spell.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: It's an 8!
Eric: Yes so you now have +1 to you. Nothing bad happens to you tonight. At this point the leader and the one with Gatorade on his pants are like
Eric (as gatorade pants): Oh we have to go do we have to go do the thing.E
Eric (as Mantis): Yeah we do!
Eric: They're both gonna make disengages, and they're going to run outside the large guy with Gatorade on his pants says
Eric (as gatorade pants): Oh should we leave them there with— should they leave them there with the thing?
Eric (as Mantis): Oh yeah it'll take care of them, it'll mess them up like they messed up all the other guys.
Eric: And they're gonna run outside and I want both of the people upstairs to make perception checks.
Brandon (as Milo): Uh, Val, that’s not good.
Julia: Because as we know, I’m great at that!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Actually it was pretty good! I got a 15!
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I got a 10.
Eric: Alright Val you hear that there is a large car starting outside, Milo, Val, do you want to go downstairs?
Brandon: Absolutely!
Julia: I think Val goes
Julia (as Val): You go take care of Aggie, imma go fuck these guys up.
Amanda: Yeah! Punch another truck! Punch another truck! Punch another truck!
Brandon: Punch a truck!
Julia:I would like to charge her feat again, and go try to punch one of the guys.
Eric: Okay wonderful!
[Transition note]
Hey, it’s Amanda. Over the last two weeks we’ve been highlighting some incredible Black D&D creators, RPG designers, dice makers, adventuring gear designers, cosplayers, and more. In addition to continuing to donate to Black Lives Matter nationally and local anti-racism organizations in your area, consider supporting one of these creators today! We’re linking to a few of our favorite threads in the description of this episode.
Thank you to everyone who has joined our Patreon to support Join the Party in the last week: Bobbyo, Kate, Kae, Anushka, Sandr, Matias, Meg, Ricardo, and Galaxie Vail.
We’re so grateful for each and every person who supports us on Patreon. You literally make it possible for this to be our jobs, and we could not do it without you. It’s the highlight of our week to talk about new episodes with you in our Patron-only discord, and I know that Eric loves coming up with a new NPC backstories and pushing the envelope for what is a story, there’s recipes, there’s wonderful notes, it’s just a good time. To get access to all of these benefits and to help ensure we can keep making this show, join us for as little as $5 a month at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
In Multitude news, today marks the end of Season 1 of NEXT STOP, the audio sitcom brought to you by team JTP! Eric created and wrote the series, Brandon directed and sound designed, Julia assistant directed, and I was an executive producer. This is comfort listening. It’s a heightened reality world, both silly and heartfelt, with jokes and 90s sitcom stingers and characters that are flawed but trying just like us. And it’s a world you’re going to want to escape into right now. Season 1 has ten episodes, just 30 minutes long each, and I promise you that you’re going to fall in love with these characters. Listen to NEXT STOP in your podcast app or at nextstopshow.com, where you can also find a link to the free PDF we wrote about how to make fiction podcasts.
We are sponsored this week by WorldAnvil. This is a powerful worldbuilding platform and specialized wiki for all worldbuilders, and also a Campaign Manager for all of us with lots of notes to keep track of during games. It’s perfect for Writers, Game Masters and Players to track their worldbuilding and characters, and also to play their games remotely. GMs can build their lore, maps, stat blocks and timelines, plan sessions and share what they want selectively during sessions. Players can manage their characters, make notes, roll dice, track their journeys and equipment, chat with the party and show off images of their characters. Subscriptions start at $3 a month and there’s also a free version to try it out! Head over to worldanvil.com and use code jointheparty for 10% off all 6 and 12 month memberships. This is a really great way to add multimedia, and a great way to add a sense of intimacy to your online games. That’s worldanvil.com code jointheparty.
We are also sponsored by Zombies, Run, an app that turns exercise into an exciting adventure, yes really! They combine thrilling audio storytelling with compelling gameplay. In response to the worldwide lockdowns, they launched a new series called The Home Front to support people staying at home. It’s completely free, giving you new home bodyweight workouts designed for beginners each week. The adventures are written, recorded and edited by their team from their own homes, and it’s totally free, with no ads or limits. This is just their gift to people who are staying safe by staying at home. Download it now on iPhone and Android - just search for "zombies run".
Finally, we’re also sponsored this week by Twenty Sided Store. I recently played a spellcaster for the first time in a home game, and I realized why spell cards are a thing. They are so helpful! You just put them in front of you, and you have all of the casting times, the durations, you know what’s concentration and what’s now. It is really really good to have around. We got ours from Twenty Sided Store last year, and the Arcane spell card set made it super easy to keep track of the many spells I had going on. You can pick up tools to run games of all kinds at Twenty Sided Store. Head to twentysidedstore.com and use code jointheparty for 20% off your online order.
And now, let’s get back to the show.
[Transition note]
Eric: So Val you run outside, and these two guys are hopping into an ice cream truck. Make a perception check.
Julia: Oh god stop making me roll perception!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Ugh, it’s a 7.
Eric: Alright with a 7, weird how they're getting it an ice cream truck.
Julia: Weird!
Eric: Because an ice cream truck— you've seen one before, because you like ice cream.
Julia: Uh huh, and definitely a couple of nights ago or anything.
Eric: Just Italian ice. I'm a big fan of Italian ices, yes you do realize that they are both ice cream trucks, but you have no way to discern if it was the same one.
Amanda: Oh so they don't see like a dent or anything, I see.
Eric: Right you can't see. But Val is of sound mind they know that there are two.
Julia: I’m not a fucking idiot, even though I have -1 in intelligence.
Eric: You know I’m not a fuckin’ idiot, I know they're both ices whenever I see ‘em.
Amanda: You think ya bettah than me with your AP classes?
Brandon: Is Italian ice just a euphemism for murder?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Yes. Yeah I give ‘em the real the lemon italian ice if you know what I’m sayin’. So both of them have hopped into one ice cream truck there is another ice cream truck right next to it. Amanda: So they're just leaving the passed out guy?
Eric: They’re — yes they are leaving — they're leaving two of them. So both of them are hopping into one of the ice cream trucks and they're trying to peel out. I figured this would be your turn because they disengaged.
Julia: I want redemption.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I wasn't able to flip it the last time and so I just want to like charge and like just kind of shoulder and try to knock it on its side.
Eric: You want a shoulder check it?
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Okay so we're gonna do the same thing as last time I'm gonna come up with an AC for an ice cream truck and [laughs] and you're gonna try to do a shove attack.
Julia: Yeah that’s great. Can I recklessly attack this ice cream truck?
Eric: Sure yeah you just would have disadvantage if something comes back at you.
Julia: That's fine.
Brandon: Aren't they all reckless attacks against an ice cream truck?
Eric: Definitely.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: That was a 15
Amanda: Ooo.
Julia: For the first roll,
[dice rolls]
Julia: And then a 21 on the second.
Brandon: Daaaang!
Eric: So with the 21, damn okay, why don't you roll for damage?
Julia: Am I shoving it though?
Eric: You're shoving it but I'm trying to think of a way to decide how well you're shoving it, so what would your damage be for this?
Julia: So it would be
[Dice rolling]
Julia: 3 +5 which is an 8 but if I was charging it would also be an additional 5.
Eric: Okay so 13.
Julia: Yeah
Eric: Okay yeah I think that this is what you're made for, this is what your powers are for. Are you like dropping the shoulder? What are you doing?
Julia: It's kind of like going under and going up as I hit into it.
Eric: I love it okay, so yeah you're dropping a shoulder you're using your spiked shoulders you have spiked shoulder pads. I think with the amount of damage you were supposed to do, yeah you just like fucking bodycheck this thing over.
Amanda: Yeahhh!
Eric: It's top-heavy, there's an ice cream cone on top, yeah you just body check of this ice cream over and you hear
Eric (as goons): AHHHHH!
Julia (as Val): What you hit me in the parking lot, now you can't handle a little bit this time? Come on.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So then the leader and one of the goons are gonna get up it's like
Eric (as goon): Oh they just bodychecked our ice cream truck is that bad?
Eric (as Mantis): I don't have time to decide whether it's bad or not we just got to go we're gonna be late you take care of them!
Eric: The leader is gonna break off and go to the other ice cream truck while the goon is gonna charge it you.
Amanda: Gotta have two.
Eric: Okay so I rolled a natural 1, I'm rolling like dog shit today. Since you recklessly attacked I get advantage right.
[Drive rolls]
Julia: Oh yeah, hell yeah, do that!
Eric: Well that's a 19 does that hit your AC?
Julia: Yes that does, that's okay!
Eric: You see at the last second the goon charges at you and then pulls like a pipe out of his sleeve, so it looks like he's gonna tackle you and just whacks you with the pipe because he's running at you that's gonna do 9 damage.
Julia: Is that halved?
Eric: Yeah halve it to 4. Okay so you're you're engaged with—
Julia: Uh oh, so I can’t disengage without taking an attack of opportunity?
Eric: Yes so you can take an attack of opportunity—
Julia: Oh I’m gonna take an attack of opportunity, cause I wanna take this dumbass down.
Eric: Do you still have disadvantage?
Julia: Yes because it lasts the whole round.
Eric: Okay wonderful so I'm gonna do that to you again. Does a 17 hit?
Julia: Yes it does.
Eric: Okay so I'm gonna do another one to you alright that is a 6 which is halved to 3. So you took that attack of opportunity you want to go after the leader?
Julia: Yes!
Eric (as Mantis): Ayy whata you do you do — you're a pedestrian you need to get out of the way!
Julia: I'd like to grapple him, I don't want him going anywhere.
Eric: Okay so you're gonna grapple?
Julia: Yeah
Eric: Cool, alright so we know grapple, he's gonna do a acrobatics check against your athletics check.
Julia: Alright, but I get a bonus because it's a strength check.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright cool, it's a 15 +5 so a non-natural 20.
Eric: Wonderful, alright I got less than that. Yeah so you're holding u,p you're holding up the leader now.
Eric (as Mantis): Ay let me go, I’m gonna be late!
Julia (as Val): No.
Eric (as Mantis): Damn, I thought that would work!
Julia (as Val): You’re not very good at talking, not gonna lie to you.
Eric: Okay so let's go back to the under the boathouse you know Aggie you—
Amanda: [singing] Under the boathouse, boathouse!
Eric: [singing] Where there's a monster there under the boathouse!
Julia: [singing quietly] Boathouse!
Amanda: Exactly!
Eric: So yeah Aggie you are now you're face to face with this giant mountain lobster and—
Amanda: Aggie’s enamoured it's every childhood myth come true it's lovely, I love this mountain lobster.
Eric: Yeah Milo, so you come down the stairs, there is a granola bar floating in a above ground— sorry a half eaten granola bar floating an above-ground pool with a giant crayfish/mountain lobster eating with it's like noodley mouth just slopin’ all over this thing.
Amanda: I turn around and point at Milo and say
Amanda (as Aggie): Be cool man!
Brandon (as Milo): [extremely nervous] Uhhh okay, I can be cool when there's a giant lobster in an above-ground swimming pool. Which is a choice, in front of me. Did you have the other half of the granola bar? Did you I split it like what is happening?
Amanda (as Aggie): I made a little peace offering I don't want to think that I'm like these assholes who probably like poke it with wires or some shit.
Brandon (as Milo): Do you know if it has allergies?! There could be nuts in that bar!
Amanda (as Aggie): I think I think the shellfish is gonna be okay.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay.
Julia: It's like one of those situations where the allergies kind of contradict each other because he is a shellfish he no longer is allergic to anything else.
[Julia and Amanda laughing]
Eric: The giant crayfish is just gonna slosh in the water a little bit. Not much movement possible but now it's looking at Milo.
Brandon (as Milo): Hi!
Eric: And it goes
Eric (as mountain lobster): [high pitched raspberry noise]
Brandon (as Milo): Hello! [Stammering] You look great!
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo I'm sorry if this is not really— Milo I’m sorry if this is a little bit direct but any of your ghostly shit, could you like commune with animals or something? Because I would love to know what they've been doing to this creature and where it's from so we can return it.
Brandon (as Milo): I mean else I might have a veterinarian within me I don't know!
Amanda (as Aggie): It's a poetic way of putting it.
Brandon (as Milo): Let me see if Tuna can can do something. Uhh T-Tuna! [whistles] here, here!
Eric: Tuna then appears just on your face.
Brandon (as Milo): Okay that's not what I wanted can you get off my face please, please move adjacent either on my shoulder or off me completely.
Eric (as Tuna): No.
Brandon (as Milo): Cool, great, um turn around there's a giant mountain lobster behind you.
Eric (as Tuna): I like it it looks like a new friend!
Brandon (as Milo): It is! Can you talk to it?
Eric (as Tuna): Uhh I mean I guess why you think all animals can talk to each other? Wow! Woooow, it's some assumptions to be making.
Brandon (as Milo): But can you?
Eric (as Tuna): I can, but just know that you make the assumption.
Brandon: Can I roll animal handling to see if I can get Tuna to talk to the lobster?
Eric: Yes that is a great idea.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well I rolled a critical 1!
Eric: Oh bud.
Julia: You could’ve saved that for a good good wild magic roll.
Eric: Okay with a critical one, Tuna goes
Eric (as Tuna): Fine! I'll do it. because you like me, and because I like you, I'll do it for you.
Brandon (as Milo): Oh this is a real step in our relationship, I'm glad you finally admitted your feelings for me.
Eric: And Tuna stocks over to the above-ground pool and like chirps at the mountain lobster, you know like when cats go mrrp merrp mrrp. And the mountain lobster kind of bubbles back and Tuna goes mrrp mrrp merrrp, and then the mountain lobster’s like brrb brrb. And Tuna like like cats just like because they have nothing better to do they just kind of like swipe forward, and at that point the mountain lobster snaps and it reaches one of its claws out of the water and just kind of tries to come down on Tuna, and it busts through the above-ground pool the water kind of flushes everywhere there's a lot you have to imagine, there's a lot of water in this above-ground pool to fit this like the size of a Volkswagen bug.
Brandon (as Milo): Tuna what did you do?! What did you say?!
Eric (as Tuna): I was trying to be myself and the water is just floods—
Brandon (as Milo): That makes sense!
Eric: Floods the entire lower level and then Aggie at this point you see that things are sparking, and you realize that those are the cables that are attached to things that are it's too dark down there to see but you see that they're sparking with the water getting in with all the where the surge protectors were going and things are just kind of like sparking and exploding and shorting out around you.
Amanda: I would definitely never the breaker box is. Can I turn it all off?
Eric: Yeah make a perception check!
Amanda: 17 + 4, 21.
Eric: Alright awesome so with the 21, yeah you know exactly where the breaker box is you can run over and turn it off.
Amanda: Yeah, it’s right by the bottom of the stairs and I just like hit it instinctively.
Eric: Nice yeah you slam all of them off and all the lights in the building go out, and at that point you hear more and [high pitched raspberries] and bomp bomp bomp bomp bomp. And the mountain lobsters making a break for it.
Brandon: Oh my god.
Eric: I want to confirm it because both of you this is a bungalow area, you are out on a lake and all the lights went out, it is totally dark.
Brandon (as Milo): Uhh should we bail?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah I feel like this nice friend will go home and maybe to Lake Champlain or to the lake right here and we'll figure out what to do tomorrow!
Brandon (as Milo): Yep I like that plan!
Eric: So I want you to know turning off the breaker box was great, everyone in the area didn't get electrocuted congratulations.
Amanda: Thank you so yeah you hear the I guess stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp [rasperry] and then like sploosh as the you assume that the giant mountain lobster dives into the inlet of historic Lake Town and swims away. So you know you're kind of like both of you are up to your shins in water it is pitch dark and Aggie again, you know that there was stuff in here that was attached to electronics that have shorted out because of the water.
Amanda: Yes I'm gonna pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and turn on the flashlight, and in just kind of like scanning around the room and seeing where the wires are attached is there like a hard drive I can grab, or like a device or something that's like relatively portable that I can grab as we head out?
Eric: Yeah I want both of you to make investigation checks a Milo, I'm gonna give you advantage.
Julia: I would also like to know if there is a mountain lobster shaped hole in the garage door now.
Amanda: Well if it's like sandy, it could probably go under—
Eric: Thank you oh my god, muah muah, thank you Julia! I forgot that it was a locked. So yeah and you can look up the the light of the moon is now coming through a giant mountain lobster shaped hole. Julia, bless, chef’s kiss.
Eric and Julia: Muah.
Eric: So now both of you make investigation checks Milo you get advantage.
Amanda: 18!
Brandon: I got 17.
Eric: Wonderful okay, what di you want to look for something to grab?
Amanda: Yeah I just wanna know why they were keeping this thing captive, so I don't know if they were like putting growth hormones in the water, or if they were monitoring it or doing other kind of like collecting energy somehow. So there's some kind of like box or vial of chemicals that will indicate what was happening I want to just grab the most suspicious or out of place looking thing on my way out.
Eric: Honestly Aggie I would say that on the wall there is a clipboard, and the clipboard has a feeding schedule on it great let's grab it so you can examine that more so later but that's what you what you find with an 18. 17 for Milo!
Brandon: Yeah I'm gonna look for what Tuna said smelled like my job.
Eric: Bang-bang that's exactly what I was gonna tell you. Yes you're kind of like rooting around you're trying not to touch electrical equipment, cause you know that's bad regardless and I think that you smell something that smells exactly like when you went into the pod. And I think that there is like a bag of to go along with what Aggie found there's like a plastic bag filled with for lack of a better word dog kibble.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: And it smells like the inside of the pod.
Brandon: Hmm I'm gonna take that
Eric: Mmhm.
Brandon: Not eat it,
Eric: Smart!
Amanda: And then I think we both head up the stairs to meet up with Val.
Eric: Wonderful alright, so Val you are now grappling this guy the goon is gonna try to run in, and tackle you so that you who you are ungrappling. So he's gonna do an attack to you, and then I'm gonna see how bad it is and if you drop your grapple. So let's do an attack, so he's just like he's gonna run at you and just spear tackle you.
Julia: Sure, bring it on.
Eric: So he's now hopped into the ice cream truck as well and just is trying to spear tackle you, but just kind of like only does arms and falls off of you so you don't take any damage. The other guy's gonna try to break out.
Julia: Okay I have to do a strength saving insight?
Eric: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: So did he by any chance beat a 23?
Eric: Yeah I rolled the natural 20 bud.
[Collective oh no]
Eric: Okay so you see that he's like trying to wiggle his way out and you just can't hold on to his arms he wiggled into his pockets and he zaps you with something. So he goes and your grapple has now have released him.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So he's gonna try to start this ice cream truck, and now the ice cream truck is moving.
Julia: This is gonna be bad. Alright.
Eric: So at this point Aggie and Milo you've run around and you see that inside of this ice cream truck, is a big goon, Val, and this smaller leader guy who's driving the ice cream truck.
Brandon (as Milo): What is Val doing?!
Eric (as goon): They're being a real pain in my ass! Let's say that much!
Julia: I want to push him out of the truck.
Eric: Okay that would be an attack, it would be a shove attack.
Julia: Yes I'm gonna reckless attack.
Eric: Okay.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Alright that's way better, that is a 23 again.
Eric: Okay with the 23, yeah you’re going up to shove the leader, but again now one of his goons is right next to him so he grabs another one and they say
Eric (as Mantis): Protect me!
Eric: And now you’re kicking you, just kick the other goon out of the ice cream truck.
Julia: Val’s gonna look at the guy who is remaining, the leader and be like
Julia (as Val): Look at me, look at me.
Eric (as Mantis): NO I’M DRIVING!
Julia (as Val): Look at me this is not gonna end well for you, you got no more goons between us!
Eric (as Mantis): That's fine! I can take care of things myself.
Eric: And he takes other thing that zapped you, and it is and it's very similar to the futuristic style like comic book style the laser gun that was in the cannon and now but it's like small, it has a chunky muzzle for zapping.
Julia: Val goes
Julia (as Val): What you think ya better than me? I’ve handled something like that before.
Eric (as Mantis): Oh you think you've never been zapped befor? I could zap people whatever I want!
Julia (as Val): [nonchalantly] I've been zapped before.
Eric (as Mantis): Oh okay I bet you've been zapped before.
Julia: I want to roll an intimidation check against him.
Eric: Yeah, sure go ahead.
Julia: Just to see if I could I don't know give him disadvantage or something in attacks.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: That's not good though, that’s a 9.
Eric: Yeah you do not intimidate him. Because he threatens that we you with the laser gun again and be like
Eric (as Mantis): Oh I could zap you again, I bet you would like that!
Julia (as Val): Let's try it.
Eric (as Mantis): With your weird vibrating and all that other shit I don't like it.
Julia (as Val): You shouldn't.
Amanda: Can we get in on this? Can I shoot a bunch of darts at the tires?
Eric: Yeah do it!
Julia: Hell yeah!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 13 +5, 18.
Eric: Yeah roll damage.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Eric and I also cast entangle?
Eric: Oh that's a good idea!
Amanda: Yeah bud!
Eric: Yeah what do you do, what damage do you do to the tire?
Amanda: I got 7. But I can also do two attacks so let me do it again.
Eric: Yeah let's do the attacks now, and then we'll see how easy it is for you to entangle.
Amanda: Alright and then the next attack is a 12 to hit.
Eric: A 12, that does not hit.
Amanda: Okay so the first one I did 7 damage.
Eric: Okay wonderful, Brandon do your entangle!
Brandon: Okay yeah so I see that Aggie sends some attacks over to the ice cream truck and my brain kind of goes blank and I'm like
Brandon (as Milo): God I this needs to like stay still, and everything needs to stop.
Brandon: And the hand comes out of my chest and then shadow hands come up from the ground and grab onto the ice cream truck and—
Amanda: Yeaaaah!
Brandon: You must succeed on a strength saving throw or be restrained by the entangling hands until the spell ends.
Eric: What do I need a roll?
Brandon: You gotta beat a 13,
Eric: I did not beat a 13.
[Amanda and Julia cheering]
Eric: Okay so Aggie yeah, you throw the dart and it pops the back left tire and now the grasping hands are coming out of just holding it in place. This guy is just stepping as hard as he can on the gas.
Eric (as Mantis): No no no no no no!
Amanda: I'll use a ki point to step of the wind right up next to him like quicker than his eye can even process, and just grab him by the neck.
Julia: Then Val just goes
Julia (as Val): I'm so sick of this guy talking, just please knock him out.
Amanda: Yeah I'll use another ki point, and make two unarmed strikes.
Eric: Do it!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 24, does that hit?
Eric: That does hit.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: And then 19.
Eric: That does hit.
Amanda: Great.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: That is a 11 damage.
Eric: Okay yeah no you have more people and go pah-pah-pah and he's not down but I think he's pretty caught, so—
Amanda: I pull him out of the truck so he can’t keep driving.
Eric: And you pull him out of the truck, okay yeah! So we're not fighting anymore. I think you've pulled him out of the truck successfully, and now he's just standing on kind of this dirt road that's try to lead out from the main lake area. Milo you’ve caught up as well so all three are you standing at around him.
Amanda: I’m gonna zip tie his hands together.
Eric (as Mantis): Oh this hurts, this hurts everywhere. Why did you punch me I'm just a defenseless nineteen year old.
Julia: That's absolutely untrue.
Eric (as Mantis): What do you mean?
Brandon (as Milo): Nineteen in high school?!
Eric (as Mantis): No, you know I dropped out, I have my GED.
Julia (as Val): You had I assume a bunch of contraband in the basement? Yeah?
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh it was straight up Monty.
Julia (as Val): W-what what? I'm sorry?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah it was Monty, you know the lobster?
Amanda (as Aggie): No it was a giant lobster, what the fuck were you doing?
Eric (as Mantis): That’s not Monty, Monty doesn't exist Monty’s a myth.
Amanda (as Aggie): Are you trying to make it exist?
Eric (as Mantis): I don't know what you're talking about!
Amanda (as Aggie): How did you get the giant mountain lobster then?
Eric (as Mantis): There was no giant mountain lobster down there, I don't know what you're talking about.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay so what was all that dog food for?
Amanda: And I point over.
Eric (as Mantis): For our dogs, obviously we have three.
Brandon (as Milo): There were no dogs! They ran away cause you broke in!
Eric: At this point you here vroom vrooom
Julia (as Val): Oh this mother fucker again?
Eric: Pulling up on the road is the Knight of Mirrors, with a college student with a man bun and a patchy beard.
Julia (as Val): I fucking saw you River Greens!
[Amanda laughing]
Eric (as River): Shit how do you know my name!? Fuck! Damn, don’t tell my RA.
Eric: And then the Knight of Mirrors says
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): [With a robotically distorted voice] Oh I thought you lost this so I brought it back for ya!
Julia (as Val): The teenager?
Amanda (as Aggie): You seem great but you're always too late.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Listen, you can’t be everywhere, I just have a motorcycle I'm doing my best.
Amanda (as Aggie): This— who is this kid?!
Julia (as Val): Yes, what, why did you bring me this child?
Brandon (as Milo): Who are you?!
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): This is my good friend River Greens, he had his phone out the entire time!
Eric: And you see that River then like puts his phone sideways and hits a button and then it projects up and it has a video of Val beating the crap out of these children.
Julia (as Val): Were you fucking live streaming this shit I swear to God!
Eric: And just like all the really cool stuff that Val did also mostly the stuff that was in the outside that what Val was doing. Nothing on the video was of the mountain lobster, it was kind of like everything in the parking lot.
Eric (as River): Listen I'm I just wanted to— I just came in how he said that you were doing all these lies but I have video of it. You were defending me! He was coming— I bet that the ice cream truck was coming right at me!
Amanda (as Aggie): Why were you filming this?
Eric (as River): Well you know to put on Instagram!
Julia (as Val): Please, please, please, please—
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I think what the kind, college student citizen is trying to say, is that they would corroborate your story. There's obviously some bad stuff happening here—
Amanda (as Aggie): To who?!
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): We can get the police here and take them down!
Amanda: Okay…
Julia (as Val): I mean a bunch of people did like punch us and also try to feed you to a giant mountain lobster?
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay! Let's get out of the middle of the road everybody, meet me at number 80 Lake Shore Drive right now.
Julia (as Val): Could I have a ride?
Eric (as Mantis): Does that include me should I also go there?
Julia (as Val): Yes!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes! You’re zip-tied and I’m holding your wrists. Let's go.
Julia (as Val): Do you want me to carry him back? He seems like a pain in the ass.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yes, please.
Brandon: Are there any leftover tacos?
Julia: Probably.
Amanda: I don’t think we had any leftovers.
Brandon: That’s true.
Julia: We ate them while we were snoopin’.
Amanda: But I do pull a quiche out of the freezer.
Eric: Wonderful okay so River Greens is riding on the back of the Knight of Mirrors’ motorcycle. Do you have a porch?
Amanda: Yeah I have like a little trellis with like vines over it in the back of the house that's like on a patio.
Eric: Cool oh yeah I think that everyone pulls back there cause the Knight of Mirrors is like
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Sorry, I'm on duty, I can't come in and eat now. But thank you so much, but we can talk out here.
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh sure.
Julia (as Val): Weird politeness…
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah so can we like can we send the civilian onto the patio with somebody? Val would you look after these bronies for a second?
Julia: Val just like looks at Mantis or whatever the fuck his name is, and is like
Julia (as Val): You! Cover your ears.
Eric: Yeah that's fine, that’s totally fine.
Julia: Intimidation check!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: That’s a 14.
Eric: Sure I think with a 14, you've thoroughly beaten this man up like hey 18 year-old, watch this 19 year-old!
Eric: River will watch, I will tell you as the DM, River will watch over Mantis, and you won't have a problem.
Amanda: Yeah just stand at the end of the driveway where it's like fenced it and nothing’s gonna happen.
[Crickets chirping outside]
Amanda (as Aggie): I really have to know who you are, and what you're doing here? What are you doing? Do you know Emily?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Tell me which order I should answer these questions and I will!
Amanda (as Aggie): The order I gave it to you, thank you,
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): One at a time, you asked me a lot of things in a row!
Amanda (as Aggie): What’s your name?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I am the Knight of Mirrors.
Amanda (as Aggie): Okay what's your civilian name?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I am not at liberty to tell that to you.
Amanda (as Aggie): So what are you doing here?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I am here to I look — listen, do I look like the police? I honestly—
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah! You kinda look like a future cop!
Julia (as Val): Yeah, a little fuckin bit!
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Oh I should work on my— is it which of my mirrors is the thing that makes you think I’m police?
Julia (as Val): It's really just your whole vibe.
[Eric laughs]
Amanda (as Aggie): I have to say that if you don't give us any other information we're forced to conclude what we will which is that you are some kind of future Robocop here to, I don't know shut down the crimes that you think are bad and let the ones that you think are good keep going.
Julia (as Val): You know like in an 80’s movie.
Amanda (as Aggie): Like that.
Eric: The Knight shifts on their bike and says
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): It sounds like I'm a lot like you, I'm not affiliated with police. I'm just trying to help out wherever I can, it sounds like what we do is a little bit different than other people. Pretty coo, pretty neat I would say. Good job everybody. I’, just out here trying to save stuff and I have this cool motorcycle.
Julia (as Val): There is a difference between you and us though and it's that we're not wearing a weird mask thing.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): You should think about it, I know where your house is, might be bad.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah because we're community members…
Brandon (as Milo): Is that a threat?!
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Not a threat! More like if you can trust me because I am a good person and I beat up bad guys, but let's say there are many reasons why people put on masks, one is people don't need to know who you are. That is my reason, and that's why I put on masks, that's why I have big helmet on. You see big helmet? I wear big helmet so no one knows who I am.
Julia (as Val): Yeah we got that part. That's why we think you are not trustworthy—
Amanda (as Aggie): And maybe it's suspicious when somebody has no stakes and no ties to the community that they're going around doing reflective tricks in,
Julia (as Val): And also keep showing up in places that we are also causing not trouble at, trouble is the wrong word.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Who says is trouble with capital T and that rhymes with P and stands for pool.
Julia (as Val): Go fuck yourself.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): See, I know musicals! I’m a real person under here, I promise.
Amanda (as Aggie): And maybe we’d trust you a little more if you told us you know who you are so we're all on the same foot here!
Brandon (as Milo): Maybe you take off your helmet and we'll trust you.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I can’t do that, that sounds like a bad idea for me and only good for you, but I can say you can't trust me. I like fighting bad guys I can tell you everything about my setup. I have a cool CB radio where I've hacked into the police radio waves.
Amanda (as Aggie): So someone knows what went on at the boat house or you just saw this clear idiot walking through the forest?
Julia (as Val): On your motorcycle.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Well, I can tell you why I'm here. It sounds like there was a half-baked plan to get the guys who robbed the bank auction out of jail. It seems like there was supposed to be two ice cream trucks, but there was only one ice cream truck, and when that ice-cream truck ran up on the armored vehicle taking the shrimp boys from one place to another place it didn't go nearly as well. Especially because there was a flying guy and a lady with a purple sword who really thwarted everybody.
Julia (as Val): Oh man, they really fucked that up, good for them.
Amanda (as Aggie): Aw man, nice. Cool.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): So I kind of put everything together, especially after I tracked down that ice cream truck that almost ran over you two. Or did it run over you?
Julia (as Val): It did run over—
Amanda (as Aggie): Semi ran over.
Brandon (as Milo): Not this guy I didn't—
Julia (as Val): Well congratulations Milo you didn't get hit by a truck.
Brandon (as Milo): Thank you.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I can run over you make even if that's the thing that you want.
Brandon (as Milo): I would not like that…
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): That’s fair. That's only fair. So I want you to know, I'm on your side and I won't even say that I was here so that you guys get all the credit.
Amanda (as Aggie): Don't want any credit, at all.
Julia (as Val): Do not want credit.
Amanda (as Aggie): Want negative credit.
Julia (as Val): Want no police interviewing me, and asking me questions about anything really.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Okay so I will take should — I take that I want to do whatever you all do think should I take all the credit?
Julia: And Val is going to like one moment please and then walk everyone
Julia (as Val): So like here's the thing—
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Whatever you want, reall! I'm totally fine with it!
Julia (as Val): Vigilantism, illegal.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah could just blame it all on this dude and still like—
Brandon (as Milo): I have a job I have to keep.
Julia (as Val): Exactly I have many jobs—
Eric: Who's gonna want a dog walker who's also a crime fighter?
Julia (as Val): What I'm saying is we can just pawn it off on this idiot because they don't have a face and the police can’t interview them or whatever, and then we still do the thing that Emily wanted us to do.
Amanda (as Aggie): Here's my thing, being able to take small mountain lobsters and make them giant mountain lobsters is not a good thing, and I feel like either this person is responsible for it or they need to know about it so everyone cool if I call Dr. Morrow?
Brandon (as Milo): Absolutely!
Julia (as Val): You just have Dr. Morrow’s number?
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh yeah, you know I like coordinated a festival for them a few years ago.
Julia (as Val): That is fuckin’ wild, alright.
Eric: You keep an eye on Mantis he's like walking around and he picks up a photo and it's a photo of you and Dr. Morrow at a Jazz Festival like Lake Town City Jazz Festival 2015.
Eric (as Mantis): Why didn't I go, I should’ve gone to that.
Brandon (as Milo): Aggie, can we meet the doctor?
Amanda (as Aggie): We're gonna have a long discussion about boundaries and professional you know, appearances before we do so.
Julia (as Val): But also, you just fuckin’ know the mayor so I would also like to meet the mayor at some point.
Brandon (as Milo): They’re my hero!
Amanda: Cool so I think the Knight should— that is such a ridiculous name.
Julia (as Val): It’s so fucking dumb.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think they should drop off the college kid, they should put this jamoke in front of the police station if they're not dealing with the jailbreak thing and we’ll tell them not to say anything, but if they do—
Julia (as Val): Okay just tell River greens I know his name, I know where he lives, I know what dorm he's in.
Amanda: So I'll sort of nod and pull my phone out and then walk back over to the Knight and say
Amanda (as Aggie): Listen, you don't have to make a big thing of this but if you want to take the perp, see crime language I'm one of you, over to the police station and drop them off. I think they'll know what to do.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Yeah absolutely, I will do exactly what you tell me to do because we're on the same side!
Julia (as Val): And you should definitely tell the police everything that you did tonight! Wink.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): What did I do exactly just so I can have my story straight.
Brandon: While we're saying this to him I want to take out my phone I need to start audio or video, I wanna start video recording this because I don't trust this Knight of Mirrors, and I want to have something on tape in case they decide to go back on their word.
Eric: Okay make a stealth roll.
Brandon: Yeah.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: It went on the floor but is an 18 +2for 20!
Julia: Nice!
Eric: Okay I would say that with the 20 you can very easily surreptitiously audio record with video recording, it would literally still look like you're holding your phone so I would give you if you just want to straight up audio record I'll give you that.
Brandon: Yeah I'll do that.
Eric: Okay cool yeah you can do and record on your phone no problem so then the Knight syas
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): So what did you all what did you all agree on?
Amanda (as Aggie): So listen you should take the perp to the police station, I think they'll just know what to do they'll see the semi explosion that happened over at the boathouse put two and two together. But I need your phone number we need to be able to meet and talk about stuff so—
Julia (as Val): At least your What’sApp or something like that.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I have a signal so that no one can hack into my stuff.
Amanda (as Aggie): Annoying, whatever fine.
Amanda: And I hand them my phone.
Eric: And they go boopity boopity boop, then you now can contact the Knight of Mirrors.
Julia (as Val): Also when the police ask you, you did beat up a bunch of high schoolers, and this guy.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Fair, okay, okay.
Julia (as Val): They were holed up in the boathouse, was there anything else we need them to take the fall for?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): It’s more credit honestly, people are gonna be super stoked about this. I just wanna be really clear.
Amanda (as Aggie): Are you from here?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Yeah! No I oooh, oh, no you…
Amanda (as Aggie): Anyway…
Julia (as Val): Aggie knows everyone.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): I care about this city a lot, and I like living here.
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah, whatever, we'll text. Val you want to take care of the kid in the tuxedo shirt?
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Should I tell River delete the video?
Amanda and Julia (as Aggie and Val): Yes!
Julia (as Val): I will talk to River.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Do you want that? Because it seems pretty neat.
Julia (as Val): No, I would prefer not because I know a lot of people who can get a lot of information and things about me and I don't want more information and things on the Internet. Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): No problem, I’ll tell River to delete it.
Julia (as Val): Alright great,
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): No problem.
Amanda (as Aggie): Alright let's all get some sleep and let's text we'll see how things shake out tomorrow.
Eric (as Knight of Mirrors): Alright, have fun, I will take all the credit for the cool thing that you did by fighting crime bye!
Amanda (as Aggie): Good for you bud.
Eric: VROOOM!! And there's a side car pops out and they throw the Mantis, the leader in there and River is holding onto the Knight of Mirrors from behind.
Julia: Val goes as they drive away
Julia (as Val): I know where you live River Greens
Eric (as River): Oh damn, fuck!
Amanda: So in the wake of that I think the three of us are just standing in my driveway and I kind of gesture everybody up into the house and I'm gonna call Dr. Morrow.
Eric: Okay you go into your contacts and you hit Dr. Momorrow's name, you hear ring ring ring and picks up and this is the voice of Dr. Morrow that says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Aggie I don't remember the last time that we talked on the telephone hello!
Amanda (as Aggie): Kind of an emergency, I'm gonna get right to the point. Are you growing super mountain lobsters? Or know someone who is?
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): [after a beat] alright I thought this was going to be a boring phone call…
[Theme music]