Present Party w/ Connor Franta

The last day before winter break at Al Gore Lower and Upper School for Powered Individuals, where four students are stuck in detention.

Nora Brady, in detention for bullying people “for good reason.”
Fritz Mondale, in detention by choice.
Aywin Sarafem, in detention for pointing out too many teachers’ mistakes
Chloe St. Croix, in detention for going off-campus during her lunch period to go shopping.

This is the story of how they saved the school and all the winter holidays.

Guest

- Connor Franta is an award-winning author, content creator, entrepreneur, and humanitarian who uses his expansive social platform to advocate for and spotlight the LGBTQIA+ community. He has amassed half a billion views on YouTube, garnered over 20 Million followers across his social platforms, and is the CEO of companies Common Culture and Heard Well. Grab his new book, House Fires, a conclusion to Connor Franta's journey to adulthood.

Sponsor

- Hero Forge, your source for custom miniatures. Go to heroforge.com to start making yours today!

Find Us Online

- website: jointhepartypod.com

- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod

- twitter: twitter.com/jointhepartypod

- facebook: facebook.com/jointhepartypod

- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod

- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com

- merch & music: jointhepartypod.com/merch

Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Multitude: multitude.productions

About Us

Join the Party is a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Begin with Campaign 2 (The Join Campaign) for a modern, sci-fi superhero game, or marathon all of Campaign 1 (The Party Campaign) for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes three Tuesdays a month.

Transcript

[Bell chimes]

Eric: Jing, jing, jing, jing, jing, jing, jing. Welcome to Present Party: A Join the Party Winter Time Spectacular. Jing, jing, jing. Oh, Amanda, why did you give me-- you gave me socks that have Jingle Bells stitched on them. I don't know why you did that.

Amanda: Oh, are you not Christian?

Eric: No.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: No?

Julia: Our mistake. Our mistake.

Eric: I assumed they were, like, weighted. You were trying to get my calves super shredded or something. That's why I was confused.

Julia: Like Rock Lee in Naruto.

Eric: Yeah, exactly.

[Amanda hums in agreement]

Eric: Well, that great joke that definitely worked. Hello, welcome to Present Party: Join the Party Spectacular. Wherever you are, it's probably snowing. And it's special not only because that– there's magical snow happening, but because we have a special guest. It is Connor Franta. Hi, Connor.

Brandon: Yay!

Connor: Hello. Hello. Hello.

Eric: Connor, you look like someone who many people would know from the internet. How can we put that name and face and voice together?

Connor: On the internet? No, I’d scratch that from the record. Is this being recorded?

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Nothing goes on the internet.

Connor: No, none of it. Not everything. Yeah, Connor Franta, longtime YouTuber, been on the platform for 10 years, and I'm so excited to be here.

Eric: Wonderful. I liked how you said that. It was like, longtime YouTuber, first time Dungeons and Dragons player, very excited to be a part of it.

Connor: Exactly. It was very much during the pandemic, I picked up a new hobby and can't kick it.

Julia: Yeah. Love that.

Eric: Perfect. Well, let's put this to good use and turn it into content. And I would love to bring you all into a wintertime miasma that we have here. My present to all of you is this one-shot.

Amanda: Aw!

Connor: Oh, that's sweet.

Brandon: Thank you. You wrapped it up with a bow and everything.

Eric: Yeah. Brandon, stop trying to eat the papers.

Brandon: No.

Eric: You're-- it's like the ki--.

Brandon: No, I will not.

Eric: Oh. We were gonna save that.

Julia: But it's so shiny.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Well, we are not going to do our usual Laketown city things but we are staying within the world of Campaign II, Laketown City. And I would like to zoom in on a regular looking public school with bushes outside, dappled with the upstate New York winter snow. And we kind of zoom in on the sign outside that says Al Gore Lower and Upper School for Powered Individuals.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: I love Al Gore.

Amanda: Al Gore! The most sustainable energy is superpowers.

Eric: He found that out. He did a hard pivot during superpowers.

Brandon: It's a real question whether or not Al Gore in this universe is just like the principal of the school or just, like, donated the money for the school. Who can say?

Eric: No, they just-- they just named it after him.

Brandon: Oh.

Eric: This is actually-- this is a public school.

Brandon: It says Al Gore, no relation in parentheses.

[Julia laughs]

Eric: Al Gore, appreciative but not involved.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Al Gore Memorial know he's still alive.

Eric: Thank you, Julia.

Connor: It's not actually even Al Gore. It's just someone named Al Gore and everyone thinks it's Al Gore.

Julia: It's Alfred Gore. You've never heard of him.

Allen Gore?

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: There would definitely be kids born in, like, the 90s and early 2000s. There are a bunch of Cemil Al Gore. I'm just gonna have here, like, Al Gore Brown like that must be a person.

Eric: Yeah, for sure.

Julia: Oh boy.

Eric: For sure. It is quite a mouthful, saying Al Gore Memorial Lower and Upper School for Powered Individuals and that doesn't really spell a cool name. They really should have figured that out, but people just call it Super School. This is the first public school designated with New York state funds for powered individuals if people want to pursue that particular track. It's just like you take your regular classes, you also take super hero and learning things classes. Julia, yes, this is My Hero Academia. Congratulations, this is my present to you.

Julia: You're fulfilling a dream. Thank you.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: There you go. And on the last day before winter break, everyone inside the school is excited. Except for the students who are stuck in detention. And because this is the day before winter break, we're not even waiting till after school, this is in schoo,l during school detention and you don't get to participate in all of the winter time present games.

Brandon: No!

Eric: Well, you guys should have been bad bad kids. And as we look into Room 105, at the front desk stands at 8- feet-tall, straight up just a minotaur, big bullhead, pointy, sharp horns pointing all the way up ring in the nose. But he's wearing like, I guess business casual as you remember your teachers wearing business casual. Like, sharp khakis, and, like, a very large fairlands sweater. Kind of-- it's like green and white with literal. Actually, I was gonna say bulls on it but I like it better if there's a maze just --

Brandon: That's very good.

Eric: -- going-- just knit into the sweater that has only makes sense to Mr. Minotaur and not to anyone else.

[Brandon laughs]

Connor: Totally chic.

Amanda: I want it.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): And Mr. Minotaur says, "Okay, everyone. Can we all just settle down? Well, you're all lucky enough to have done trouble, with a capital T here at-- at Super School. And luckily because the day before winter break where you get to deal with it during the actual day. As you might know, I'm Mr. Minotaur. Yes, these are real. No, you cannot ride them. Yes, if you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

[Amanda laughs]

[Connor boos]

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Mr. Minotaur, you-- you teach-- you teach Spanish, we know who you are.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I teach health and all of you need to go to health.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I know all of you are skipping. It's very important. So, I get-- I'm gonna just read off who-- just say here and then sit quietly and read I guess. Whatever you have, okay.

Eric: And Mr. Minotaur puts on, like, very, very tiny glasses first thing, because he needs readers and picks up a clipboard on the desk and says.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Okay, we're just gonna do this alphabetically by last name. Nora Brady, are you here?

Amanda (as Nora Brady): What?

Eric: Thank you. Amanda. Amanda, would you like to introduce your character?

Amanda: Um, look down. And my character Nora Brady has summoned Mage Hand to right here in Sharpie on the clipboard.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): That seems-- that seems very rude.

Eric: Amanda, can you please describe Nora Brady and tell us how your powers have manifested themselves?

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Yeah, Nora Brady is a nerd but also a bully because she really believes in being unique, fighter, and she is a mage hand mages meaning that she fights but not with her own fists with Mage hand Fists, so get ready to meet these fists, but you're never going to meet my fists because I stay safe behind my wheelie backpack, like, over in the corner where I can just not do all of that and just fight from afar because that's efficient.

Brandon: Dear God.

Eric: Wonderful.

Julia: It's kind of rude that you're playing me in high school, Amanda.

Amanda: My backpack does weigh about 100 pounds.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: But it’s wheelie. And yeah, no, I'm stoked to be playing a fighter. I love it. I love her. I love Nora.

Eric: Yeah, Nora has an AC of 16 because of the really backpack and Amanda I just want you-- can you read you-- what your stats are to everyone?

Amanda: Yeah, no. I definitely have -1 in everything except dex, intelligence, and charisma which are +3.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Min Max.

Eric: Incredible.

Julia: I love it.

Eric: Incredible.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: Also, mage and mages is a subclass for Fighter which come from Valdas, a spire of secrets from a chan press. Shout that shit out and I'm gonna put it in the episode description. Y'all should check that stuff.

Julia: Hell yeah.

Brandon: Very cool.

Julia: So good.

Amanda: I'm very excited. Basically, I can summon mage hand as a bonus action and can, like, do all kinds of things with it that you can't do with standard mage champs.

Eric: Hell, yes.

Brandon: Sick.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): This is already the worst thing I've ever done. And I was a villain for an extended period of time.

Julia: Mr. Minotaur.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): You all knew that. I know the students talk. Don't-- don't act surprised. That's-- that's just rude. You're just lying to my face. Okay, Fritz Mondale, are you here?

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Here, sir. Here and ready for detention, sir.

Eric: Oh, Brandon. Brandon, can you tell us about Fritz Mondale?

Brandon: Yes, Fritz Mondale is a student body vice president and --

[Amanda cheers]

Brandon: hH ran for school body president and they had 18th century roles and he lost so he became vice-- student body vice president. He/him, he has lightning shock powers. I am a sorcerer and my subclass is Shocking Soul which is a subclass from the wonderful NO CAPES guide which is written by, let me check my notes. Oh, yeah, our DM Eric here.

Julia: Whoa!

Eric: Wow, weird. That's so strange.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Like, Fritz, you're gonna have to turn it down, like, three notches, please.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): I don't know how, sir.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Wonderful. Okay. Um, alright. Let me see how to pronounce this. Is this Aywin Sarafem? Are you here?

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): Yeah, I'm here reluctantly.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Connor. Why was-- I told you to be in your character voice.

[Players laugh]

Connor: I mean, boo.

Eric: Connor, can you tell us about Aywin?

[Connor sighs]

Connor: Aywin is a little bit of an emo teenager. A little bit of a loner. A little bit too smart for my own-- my own good. Don't have many friends, don't know why.

[Brandon laughs]

Connor: It's like-- sounds like we've already heard this character.

Julia: No, I love it.

Connor: Man, I'm a soon-to-be-best friend.

[Brandon and Julia laugh]

Connor: The cool part about me is that I can teleport.

Brandon: Oh.

Connor: So, when I don't want to be here, which is most of the time, I don't have to be.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Heck yeah.

Connor: So, later losers.

Eric: Hell yes. Aywin is a rogue using the subclass Spacewalker, which is also from NO CAPES.

Brandon: Oh, who's that written by?

Eric: I don't know. Some fucking idiot.

[Brandon and Connor laugh]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Okay, and then finally, Aywin, please stay in your seat, please.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): [Sighs] Don't tell me what to do.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): It's literally my job. Wish I did not have to. Okay. And finally, Chloe St. Croix. Croix? I don't know.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I'm sorry, what?

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Chloe? Chloe, are you here?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I just responded to you, so yes.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Great. Wonderful.

Eric: Julia, how do you pronounce your character's last name and tell us about her.

Julia: Like the sparkling water.

Eric: Oh.

Julia: Chloe St. Croix.

Eric: Oh, okay.

Amanda: Excellent.

Brandon: What flavor of Lacroix is Chloe?

Julia: Pamplemousse, probably.

Brandon: Love it.

Connor: I would have called that for you.

Julia: It was the first one that I could think of, so...

Connor: Classic.

Julia: So, Chloe is a cleric and her god is actually, um, wealth.

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Julia: And that is also from Valdas guide. And it is fantastic. And she's a delight. I love her so much.

Brandon: I love it.

Eric: Incredible.

Julia: Love the little rich girl.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I don't. I hate-- I hate everything that's happening here. Okay, so what we're going to do is I need all of you to sit quietly. Unfortunately, none of you get to participate in the Super School Present-ation.

Brandon: Nice!

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): That's the-- that is the-- you get to do this during school. But unfortunately, you get to miss all the fun giving presents to each other and celebrating presentation. So, you shouldn't have-- if you don't do the crime, you get punished.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Sorry, what?

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): What?

[Connor laughs]

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I don't really know why I wasn't rewarded for telling my fellow students that they had to get a fucking grip on their life if they were going to succeed. Like, ultimately, I'm setting them up for success so...

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): When you say getting a grip, is that a metaphorical way to describe you choking your fellow students from 30 feet away?

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I mean, it was reinforcing the message. That's pedagogy. Is that not-- No?

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): The– ordinarily, No. Nora you-- it is not-- you are not responsible for teaching people lessons. No.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): It should be.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: I feel like pedagogies like a $3 word. Is that right? It's, like, around there. It's not quite five but...

Eric: Julia, are you using one of your powers?

Julia: No, it has to be an item.

Eric: One of Julia's powers is that she knows exactly how much things are priced, which includes clothes.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: It's called appraisal.

Brandon: The price is right.

Amanda: It's incredible.

Connor: That's fucking brilliant. That's fucking brilliant.

Eric: I would actually love it if all of you would either make a religion or a history check for me because Laketown city has a different sort of winter time tradition of presentation that I would love to talk to you about.

Julia: I rolled a 7, so I don't know shit about shit.

Eric: Shout out to the cleric who doesn't know about religion, love that.

Julia: I do have bonuses. I just only have a +2 because my intelligence is 0.

[Amanda laughs]

Connor: Also a 7 here.

Eric: Okay.

Brandon: I got an 18 for history.

Amanda: Dirty 20 history.

Eric: Dirty 20 history. Okay.

Julia: Oh, of course the nerds roll high on this.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna make a lot more money than you one day.

Julia: I don't need to make money, my dad makes money.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Sad for you. Sad for you.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I truly-- I cannot believe that I pulled this-- this job today.

Eric: Alright, well, let me explain to both my nerds here about presentation. Everyone in Laketown city celebrates Presentation on the last day of December, on December 31st instead of New Year's Eve. But you know, when you are on school, this would be the last day of winter break. The-- as it goes, all winter wind blows through the cold northern United States in Canada, freezing and destroying all the towns that are around there. This was celebrated kind of in places where it was hard to heat. And all the people who had lived there overtime acknowledged that old winter wind. However, the wind avoids communities that are bundled together and helped each other out, so that's why we celebrate Present-ation. That's when people have fun and give each other gifts and there's, like, a holiday festival where you all eat fried foods, hang out, and do the gift giving and, you know, demonstrate that you care about each other. And you've been thinking about each other this entire time, both to scare off the old winter wind and also, you know, because it's fun and nice and good.

Brandon: That's very pleasant.

Amanda: That's really cute.

Julia: It's very sweet.

Eric: With a Dirty 20 I would say some people don't celebrate Present-ation because they think that it was put together by big capitalism, looking at Chloe St. Croix, just to sell presents and to make people actually buy into all of that stuff. But actually, like, you can see, like, the community roots of having excuse in winter to exchange holidays and they demonstrate humidity and, like, that wind is no joke. Like, the wind chill in northern North America is very cold, so there might be something there that the winter wind is real.

Amanda: Yeah, I think I remember reading an article once about how one year there was a gigantic blizzard and no one could do the Present-ation or they did it two days later and the blizzard got, like, it somehow, incredibly, unbelievably worse, even though it was said to have passed already.

Eric: Yes, exactly. This is not even just, like, a colonial thing. I can only imagine that all of the peoples who had lived in northern North America have been celebrating something like this for an extended period of time. So then Mr. Minotaur says.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): The only thing that I asked you to do is to be totally quiet and do absolutely nothing and we can all just get through this together.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): That sounds great, sir.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): You've already violated the first rule.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Shit!

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Which is ust say absolutely nothing. And also you just swore. Stop it!

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Shit!

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): You're-- you're becoming even more of a nuisance more than all the three of them. I hate this.

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Nora makes an L hand for loser with her mage hand and points it at Fritz.

Brandon: Fritz puts his head down on the-- on the desk.

[Amanda laughs]

Julia: Chloe is just back on her phone being like, "Someone's live streaming the presentation quote unquote Mr. Minotaur."

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Can you please put that away?

Connor: Aywin has teleported to the back of a classroom.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia: Excellent.

Amanda: Yay!

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I-- oh my god.

Eric: And Mr. Minotaur picks up the desk and puts it in front of the door and then sits down at it and be like, "Fine." Julia, who is live streaming Present-ation.

Julia: Oh, Vanessa Vanderworth.

Eric: Wonderful. What's Vanessa's powers?

Julia: She's actually, like, on the professional hero track. And so, she's actually not, like, going to school next semester. She's actually interning with a professional hero from the town.

Eric: Ooh, that's fun. I like that a lot. Well, it's funny because Vanessa, you know, the Present-ation is at the end of the day, but Vanessa is live streaming. And, like, lots of students are looking really bothered, like, frustrated and worried. They're all, like, kind of whispering to each other and all of them look super super stressed out, but there's still, like, a period or two before Present-ation is supposed to even happen.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I think I'm gonna text her be like, "What's up? Everyone seems really weird."

Eric (as Vanessa): Oh my god, Chloe. Did-- you're able to use your phone in detention? That's fucking awesome.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yes, I'm fucking awesome. That's just how it goes.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Vanessa): You didn't hear the announcement?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): No, I guess in the basement we don't get announcements because we're too poor down here or something. I don't understand.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric (as Vanessa): Oh, my God. Well, I don't even want to tell you. It's too bad, and you're gonna miss Present-ation anyway, so I don't even want to tell you what happened.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Well, like, what if I could get out of here and come to the Present-ation? Like, what's going on? I need information.

Eric (as Vanessa): Oh, my god. Okay.

Eric: Make a persuasion check for me.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: I rolled a 16. 12 + 4.

Eric: Nice, 16. Vanessa says.

Eric (as Vanessa): Oh my god. Yeah, you gotta-- you gotta get out. And can you, like, take a photo of Mr. Minotaur. He's like, pretty. I mean, I think he's, like, the hottest teacher in school so...

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Oh my god. Why? Do you know how much his sweater costs?

Eric (as Vanessa): No, how much?

Julia: I would like to use appraisal to see how much the sweater cost.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: He got it at TJ Maxx so it was marked down to 9.99.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Oh my god. Vanessa, less than $10. Less than $10!

Eric (as Vanessa): What a Maxxinista. I love it.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): No! Vanessa, you have class!

Eric (as Vanessa): I love a thrifty hottie.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Oh my god, Vanessa. I'm reevaluating our friendship right now. I'm sorry.

Eric (as Vanessa): So, here's what happened. The announcement came on and it said that in order for us to participate in Present-ation, you have to have presents for literally every single student. And they didn't tell us until today, which is just-- I mean, how are we supposed to prepare? Why would we have everything for everyone?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I mean, Vanessa that makes no sense. Like, no one's as rich as me. No one can buy presents for the whole school. That's ridiculous.

Eric (as Vanessa): I know.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Okay, I don't want us to not celebrate Present-ation, even if I'm not there. Like, I'll see what I can do. I'll call daddy.

Eric (as Vanessa): Okay. I mean, this is for everyone. I don't know why they would do this.

Eric: And then you just hear students being like.

Eric (as Student): I need to exchange presents. I only have one thing for my friends!

Eric: And like, there are just students everywhere who are freaking out about not being able to do this.

Julia: Okay.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Like, excuse me, excuse me. Chloe, please put the phone away.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Chloe puts the phone down and just, like, stands up, like, hands slamming on the desk be like, "This is an emergency! We can't celebrate Present-ation. No one can. This is a travesty. Do you understand? People need to buy gifts. That is how my religion works. I need to spend money on other people."

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I also-- I also follow this-- this annoying religion and it's a religious oppression not to let me out. Okay?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Fuck yeah.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, unfortunately, I'm sorry to hear that but you are in detention and detention comes before religion. I can't do anything.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Chloe, are you saying there's no, like, we can't get presents out? What's going on?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Apparently, we can't celebrate Present-ation unless we have presents for everyone.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): That's...

Amanda (as Nora Brady): What does that even mean? I hate all of-- all people here. I was going to give presents to the lunch lady.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I'm sure she's very cool and also very grateful for any kind of gifts. Do you know how much those hairnets cost? Not a lot.

Brandon: It's actually really sweet of you.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I'm gonna let that one go. Hmm.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Like, can we-- Is there something we could do to help-- help everyone? Like, do-- we gotta get out of here.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Fritz is gonna stand up and say, "Mr. Minotaur um, I think you need to let us out. Is that okay?

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): No, you're in detention. Literally, no.

Brandon: I cast charm person.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: Wonderful. Brandon, take 6 points of psychic damage.

Brandon: Oh, god. Okay.

Eric: What does it look like when you do Charm Person?

Brandon: For Fritz, it's just sort of, like, an innate power he has. Weren't even sure it's an actual, like, power-power. It could just be because he comes from a long line of politicians. You know, when he needs to turn the charm on, he can turn the charm on.

Eric: I wonder if your voice is amplified a little bit from your electricity.

Brandon: Definitely.

Eric: And then you see that, like, the-- the voice waves going at Mr. Minotaur bounce off of him and hit back at you.

Amanda: Oh, no.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Being like, "Yeah. Do you think I would be in detention and not be able to rebuff all of your powers? No, don't do-- please don't do that."

Brandon: Did he make a wisdom saving throw? Or is he just resistant to magic?

Eric: That's a good question.

Julia: Hmm. Is there anything, like, on his person that doesn't seem like a normal part of his outfit typically?

Eric: Interesting. Why don't-- you can make an investigation check. Why don't you guys do some rolls. Figure-- Look into it.

Julia: Sure.

[Dice rolls]

Julia: I did roll a 17, though, so that's-- I would like to know.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Yeah, he's wearing kind of a chunky metal wristband. And he literally-- I guess he just shows it being like, "Yeah, don't-- don't do that. The people of detention; they have magic wristbands to be able to keep-- them from doing that, so don't do that.

Brandon: I rolled an 18 for arcana, so our tech check. Like, do I know anything about this wristband? Its weakness. Like, it's-- anything like that?

Eric: Sure. Yeah, I think with arcana, I think that it rebuffs magic. But I think that is, if you had something maybe that was more powerful, or maybe I think with an 18 this is, like, it got counterspelled and thrown back at you.

[Brandon hums]

Eric: So, mechanically, I'd say that's what this metal wristband can do.

Connor: Yeah. I mean, I rolled a 12. I do have thieving tools, so I could always try to take that wristband right off of him.

Julia: That is an option.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Nora is gonna lean over to Aywin and say, "Hey, so, like, is-- is your thing teleport? Can you, like, teleport all of us just, like, out of here, wherever?

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I don't have any friends, so I've never really tried this. But we can give it a try, that's for sure.

Amanda: That's adorable.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): You might lose-- you might lose a limb.

[Brandon laughs]

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): But..

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Oh no.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I won't-- I won't lose a limb so...

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Okay. Maybe as a backup plan then but maybe not as a-- as a first plan.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): It's worth it for capitalism

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): It sounds like a first plan to me, personally.

[Brandon laughs]

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I have nothing to lose.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Okay, alright. Okay, fine. I like your shoes.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): That's very weird of you to say like this. Yeah, anyone want to teleport?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): You try to teleport. This is for capitalism, so I will risk a limb.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I can also, like-- I can't, like, put limbs back on any of you but I can, like, buy you cybernetic limbs and, like, heal you up that way.

Eric: Ordinarily, you would not be able to bring everyone with you but if you want to try to make an arcana check you can.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: You can also-- if you want to try to grab the wristband off of Mr. Minotaur you can.

Connor: Personally, before we lose some limbs in this group I think I should just try to swipe that wristband.

Julia: That's absolutely fair.

Eric: Incredible. Let's start by doing a stealth check to see how-- how easy this will be for you.

Julia: I would like to create a distraction to give the help action.

Eric: Incredible. What would you-- what do you do?

Julia: I just want to absolutely insult Mr. Minotaur's whole outfit.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, do it.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): So like, Chloe, like, gets up from the table and, like, stands in front of him and is like, "Mr. Minotaur, between the two of us TJ Maxx is not your style, okay? We don't have to keep doing this year after year, it's starting to actually impact my education. Looking at you and getting really sad about the-- about, like, just your lack of fashion. It's just really kind of hurtful now, and I don't know what to do about it. Like, I don't-- I don't know how we can have a conversation that will convince you to start caring about your appearance."

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, yeah, man.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Incredibly inappropriate.

Eric: Yeah, I'll give you-- Connor, I'll give you advantage on your stealth check.

Connor: Perfect. I rolled a 14 and then 21.

Brandon: Oh shit.

Eric: 21. Incredible. Hell yeah. Yeah, so what does it look like when you-- you have this distraction? What does it look like when you sneak up?

Connor: So, while he's crying like a baby. I seem to just very faintly go bloop, and I'm right behind him. And it's just as easy as me pulling out my little pic. Taking it off, putting in my pocket, ploop, right back in my seat. It's like he didn't even know. Through the tears, he couldn't even see how quick I was there.

[Amanda and Brandon laugh]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I spend a lot of time. I-- iI went through villain rehabilitation training. I became a teacher. I don't know why you would say some hurtful things about me.

Eric: Hell, yes. The anti-magic detention bracelet is off.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): So, I think at that point, Chloe is going to cast Command on him and be like, "You need to leave."

Brandon: You're so embarrassing. You need to leave.

[Connor laughs]

Amanda: I feel really morally conflicted.

Eric: Alright, let me do wisdom saving throw. Let's go.

.[Dice rolls]

Eric: I rolled a 13

Julia: Cool. I'm also going to cast Bane on him real quick just to make sure this works because my spell save is 13, but you're now also going to subtract a 1 D4 from the roll that you just did.

Brandon: Dang.

Eric: Well, pretty rude.

Amanda: Wow.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): He's like, "You know what? I don't have to take this for anyone. As like, there's, like, a golden hue around him. He's like, "I hate this. I hate you. I'm getting out of here."

Eric: And Mr. Minotaur leaves the room.

Amanda: Yay!

Brandon: We did it!

Julia: I just want to establish whenever I cast a spell, it's the sound of, like, one of those old credit card machines where they have to, like, press the credit card so it's like.

[whooshing noises]

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: So satisfying.

Brandon: Incredible

Eric: Incredible. Alright, well, yeah, Mr. Minotaur is gone and the door is open.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Alright, let's go save Present-ation.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Let's do it.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Fine.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): Whatever.

Amanda: Stop saying my lines. God.

[Connor laughs]

Eric: Wonderful. Alright, you're all running out into the hallways, there are students looking around incredibly fraught, being like.

Eric (as Student): How-- I don't know where I can get, like, 200 chocolates for everyone. And then other students be like.

Eric: Help me build snowmans for everyone! As they're trying to, like, give everyone and like.

Eric (as Student): How do I write, like, 200 Haiku? Is everyone gonna like that? I don't know.

Eric: Just like students running around. Some of them are floating. Some of them are on fire. One person is a sentient rock that's just kind of rolling around.

Amanda: Oh no.

Connor: Not again.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): He only rolls when he's really upset. Normally, I caused him to be that upset. That's really disturbing.

Eric: You're running through the school, you're going up from the basement into the main hallways. And that is where Mr. Minotaur spins around being like.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I do not appreciate being confused and told to do anything, so this is going to be more difficult for you than it is for me!

Eric: He waves his hands in the air and his horns glow purple. And out of the ground of the hallways comes walls. And you're realizing it's not just keeping you away. They're turning left and right and up and back. And there is a maze in the hallway here.

[Amanda gasps]

Julia: Damn.

[Midroll SFX pings]

Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. This is the midroll, a quick break in the episode where we thank our listeners and sponsors and also give you a nice little anecdote to remember that good stuff does happen in the world. Today, that is the feeling of waking up in the morning and remembering that you made cookie dough last night. There is, like, three pounds of cookie dough in my fridge right now and I could not be happier. So, welcome to the midroll. They're Brown Butter Chocolate Chip, so good. First and foremost, if this is your first episode of Join the Party, welcome. We are a D&D actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre pushing storytelling, and collaborators to make each other laugh every week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who've never touched a role-playing game before. This is a special holiday bonus episode, but usually we're playing Campaign II, the Join Campaign, which is a modern sci-fi superhero story. But you can also marathon all of Campaign I, the party campaign, for a high fantasy story. And once a month, we release the After Party, where we answer your questions about the show and how we played the game. So, join us or smash that subscribe as YouTubers would say. We are so glad to have you. Finally, a huge thanks to HeroForge who sponsored this episode and made it possible for us to publish such a fun holiday bonanza. Thank you HeroForge. They offer fully customizable tabletop miniatures with dozens of fantasy races from all types of genres and thousands of parts and accessories and animal companions to choose from. They're always putting out new stuff. In fact, every Tuesday, they announce a new drop, just like Join the Party. And last week, they announced brass knuckle blades, which I think Julia would really enjoy, and pointed ballet flats with or without an adorable bow, along with a whole lot of new hairstyles, and textures, and protective headwraps. So, go on and visit their site, the generator is so much fun to play with, and I guarantee you're going to enjoy bringing your favorite characters to life. All of that can be found at heroforge.com. That's heroforge.com. And now, let's get back to the show.

[Midroll SFX pings]

Brandon: How tall are the walls?

Eric: They go to the ceiling. Yes.

Brandon: Okay.

Amanda: Damn.

Julia: Is Mr. Minotaur still in view or has he disappeared into the labyrinth?

Eric: He is standing behind you, he's saying.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): You know, if you're not going to stay in detention, at least I'm going to keep you from this fun holiday thing because that's punishment, and that is how the world works. And that's what happened when I got thrown in Super Jail. And that's what we're all gonna do here in school.

Amanda: Can Nora take a picture of his sweater with her cell phone?

Eric: She-- Yeah, sure.

Amanda: Okay. What are the odds that this maze mirrors the sweater? Can I just, like, make some kind of check?

Eric: Yeah, dude, what kind of check do you want to make?

Amanda: I don't know.

Eric: If it's about the maze, it's a survival check.

Amanda: Well, folks, we got a -1, but a miracle could happen.

Eric: I'll give you advantage because that's a very interesting thing you said.

Amanda: Okay, I mean, that's a 14. That's pretty good. It could be worse.

Eric: 14, the sweater and the maze do not match.

Amanda: Dammit.

Eric: But he is a minotaur and his thing is mazes, which is why he did that. So, you do put that together and be like, "Oh, that's kind of clever. You do-- I will say you do know, you're kind of, like, in the main hallway and you do know where all these things go. I think with a 14, I'd say that ordinarily, Present-ation is going to be in the gymnasium, which is kind of on the other side. And you have to go outside to get to the gym, it's kind of separated off. But you can go to a few different places, you can go to the library, you can go to the office as well, if you go left or right, kind of like imagine this is a four-way stop. And you are in detention where you are forward gymnasium, left to library, right to main office.

Amanda: I mean, if it was an announcement, something must be happening in the office, right?

[Julia hums]

Connor: I agree.

Eric: Interesting, what do you do with this maze?

Amanda: I can also try using my mage hand, so, like, I'll go in one direction and the hands can go on the other two. And like, if they run up against something, then at least I'll know that that's not the way to go, so I can also try figuring out the maze.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Fritz turns around and says, "Mr. Minotaur, would you pretty please show us the way out?" And I'm going to cast Charm Person again.

Julia: Try-- try your best.

Amanda: Damn.

Connor: Nice. Nice.

Amanda: A real Brandon maneuver.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: I have to make a wisdom saving throw.

Brandon: Yeah.

[Dice rolls]

Eric: I rolled an 8.

Brandon: Yep. 13.

[Eric chuckles]

Eric: What? Do you just, like, electroshock him into doing what you want?

Brandon: Yeah, it's like, you know, like, uh, like, what a magic wish kind of character, like, puts their fingertips up to your temple, but it's electricity and just kind of, like, shocks the brain for a second.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, yeah, sure. I love good students who definitely run for vice president and care about vice president as a student body election. Just like Al Gore.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Thank you.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, yeah. So, the thing you have to do in terms of the maze is that you all need to work together. There isn't really a way, you just need to do teamwork. It's more of a lesson than anything else.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): This is a-- this is a metaphorical maze is what you're saying?

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): No real maze, but you have to learn a lesson.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I hate group projects, god!

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Guys, let's go. And I, like, to use my mage hands to, like, prod all of us in the back, like, moving us forward into the maze.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Stop.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Mr. Minotaur, can you-- can you come with us though? I think you'd be a great asset to our team.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): No, I will watch you from afar. But it seems like I need you to learn your lesson. So honestly, for your own benefit, you should be doing this yourself.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Okay, I guess that's fair.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I'm just looking out for you and your whole, like, growing as a person, which is what friends do for each other.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): I appreciate it. When you do your daily report on detention, can you just go ahead and mark us as present and all accounted for, please? Thanks.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, absitively. Takes out the clipboard and writes, "Present and delightful for all of you," and shows it to you.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Thank you.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): And I whisper over my shoulder. At least we're not boring and unhelpful. As I enter the maze.

[Brandon laughs]

Brandon: Yeah, so we enter the maze.

Eric: Incredible. So yeah, how do you help each other and where would you like to go?

Connor: I can't teleport to places I haven't seen without a huge risk, so I can only help us if we go somewhere incorrect and teleport us back to, like, the beginning.

Brandon: Oh, that's smart.

Amanda: Oh, that's smart..

Julia: That is useful.

Connor: Yeah.

Brandon: You're like a checkpoint.

Connor: Yeah. As long as I remember. We'll put little red flags.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: This can just be a montage. You already know what you have to do.

Amanda: Yeah, I'll-- Nora can kind of, like, have mage hands running in front of us and so if they smack into a wall then we know and we say okay, you know, Aywingo and then you-- you teleport us back to a checkpoint but I think through a little bit of blundering and some Scooby Doo-ing and, you know, smack it into a wall, we make it out on the right hand fork to go toward the office.

Amanda: I like it. Any 80s music from whatever John Hughes movie is playing.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: Choose Your Own Adventure, put it on yourself. It can be wham. They did-- you could be last Christmas if you want, if you want it to be festive. You can do whatever you like. Aywin what does it look like when you try to tell people, like, that they went the wrong way?

Connor: My god. I can't. Incompetent.

[Brandon laughs]

Connor: And I just grab everyone's hands and we go back.

Eric: I love that. It's very funny.

Connor: But I'm also no help, by the way. I'm just standing in the background with my hands, like, in my hoodie, brooding.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: I love it.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Chloe is just, like, "It is adorable that you have to hold our hands in order to teleport, by the way."

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I do it but I don't like it.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yes, it's still adorable, though.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): But you have really soft hands, must be an expensive moisturizer.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): It's from Korea, it's actually made out of snail, like, trail, and it's very good for you.

Brandon: Gross.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): Disgusting, but effective.

[Julia hums in agreement]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Extremely. It's also very good for under eye bags.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: I like the idea that it's called Snail Trail.

Julia: It is.

Eric: It's the name of the lotion.

Julia: Whatever the Korean translation of snail trail is.

Eric: I love that. Yeah, I think you guys take the ride and you go to the office. The office like all school offices, has terrible halogen lighting. It is incredibly white in there. Like, just the light ricocheting off of the light. In the front is the Secretary, Ms. Man Zuckuss, who's been working there for 40 years even though the school opened this year. Very strange. I don;t know how that happened.

Brandon: She's a time traveler.

Eric: Yeah, that's-- Her power is time travel, so she could organize and all the administration's calendars together. Yeah, as the head administrator, she's wearing an incredibly chunky red sweater that has a big present on it. And there's also, like, a very detailed scene of a bunch of people of all races, creeds, heights, genders, and sexualities, giving each other presents. And then over to the side, there is a, like, an image of a cloud with a grumpy face that's, like, "Hrmm, I can't follow through them."

[Amanda and Brandon laughs]

Eric: So, a full Present-ation sne on-- on uh, Ms. Man Zuckuss' sweater and she says.

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): Ah, kids, you're gonna miss Present-ation. What are you doing here?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Well, apparently, and this is an emergency. We can't participate in Present-ation, unless we have presents for everyone. Apparently, there was-- we were in detention. And apparently, they don't make announcements down there because it's too poor in the basement, but they said we can't give-- We can't participate in Present-ation unless we have presents for everyone.

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): Oh, that's strange. Let me look around. Oh, well it's true. I do have this memo from the superintendent saying the basement is too poor, so you're right about that. Let me look. Well, I didn't make that announcement. I'm not really sure who did. I don't see anything on the morning announcement that says everyone needs to have this.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Was it the student body president? She's always saying bullshit, you know?

Eric: Yeah, Brandon make an insight check.

Julia: Can I also roll insight?

Eric: Yeah, everyone roll an insight check about whom made the announcement.

[Dice clanks]

Julia: I rolled a 21.

Amanda: 18.

Brandon: Natural one.

Amanda: Oh beans!

Julia: Nice! There's those Brandon rolls.

Brandon: Hell yeah.

Connor: I only got a 9.

Eric: Yeah. Okay. Brandon, with a natural one. Regardless of what happens, you do think that the President made the announcement or is in some way involved in putting the announcement on.

Brandon: Yeah. You sort of see this, like, glaze go over Fritz's face and he just starts, like, mumbling conspiracy theories about the student body president.

[Amanda chuckles]

Eric: The Illuminati and the student body president are in kahoot.

[Brandon hums in agreement]

Eric: Who rolled the highest?

Julia: Me.

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): Ms. Man Zuckuss said, Yeah, well, I didn't make the announcement, but I did hear it. And it seemed like someone was using a voice changer or something. I don't know who would make that announcement, but it wasn't anybody around here.

Julia: Who else would have access to the announcement machine? I don't know what it's called.

[Brandon and Connor laughs]

Brandon (as Man Zuckuss): I have people for that.

Julia: You think?

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): It would be any of the-- any of the teachers has access to it. But you know, it's ordinarily by job. But maybe someone who had a free period when that was happening. Who was-- who wasn't teaching a class, maybe they were the ones who do it, who would do it but a lot of the teachers are accounted for. They're also-- really wanted to participate in Present-ation.

Julia: [Julia hums]

Amanda: Can I grab off, like, a desk behind her or a wall in the back? Is there any kind of, like, sign in log for teachers?

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): Sure. When the hands are going by, she's like, "Hey, no students, no parts of students can go back there."

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I think it's really unfair and discriminatory to think of my mage hands, which are in fact discrete parts and entities unto themselves as part of me.

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): You're saying they're not a part of you?

Amanda: I'm having one hand, like, float in front of her face and, like, twist and turn as my hand makes my real hand make different motions. And then I want the second hand to try to do that behind her back with sleight of hand.

Eric: Great. Can you explain what did these-- your hands look like?

Amanda: Yeah, they're just fully Mickey Mouse hands. I hate them.

Eric: Great. Got it.

Amanda: Um, I hate them. And I wish they were spectral and we've tried really really hard to make them look like bones or something cool, but it just won't happen.

[Brandon chuckles]

[Eric laughs]

Amanda: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, roll sleight of hand.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: Oh, that's a natural 20.

Brandon: Oh, hell yeah.

Julia: Oh, Jesus Christ.

Eric: Sure. Yeah. Who do you want to? Do you want to pants anyone while you're still--?

[Brandon laughs]

Amanda: Is there anything bulky in one of the teacher's mailboxes?

Eric: Sure. I think that there is a present from your math teacher. Firestorm who has fire powers from Mr. Firestorm being like, "Babe, you're so hot. Love you. Here is a present because you're so hot. From Mr. FireStore." And there's, like, a big, bulky present, like, jammed into the mailbox. It's, like, just wrapped in, like, brown paper.

Brandon: Adults are so embarrassing.

Amanda: Adults are so embarrassing. Yeah, I'm gonna just take that out and dump it in, like, a random mailbox that doesn't belong to Firestorm and grab the login so we can see who's scheduled to be free that day.

Eric: Incredible. Yeah, well, it seems like the only person whose schedule was free was Mr. Minotaur who was doing detention.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I make eye contact with the other three and I shake my head like, "I got nothing."

[Connor hums]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): I mean, he was with us the whole time. Can I get a timeline from Vanessa to see what the, like, when the announcement was made versus when Mr. Minotaur came into detention?

Eric: Good question. He's the only-- Mr. Minotaur was the only teacher who wasn't quote-unquote, teaching a class. And you don't know who was assigned to detention necessarily.

Amanda: Because if people were already upset by the time detention started, then I guess it's possible he did it just before coming down, right?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah. Gonna have to kill that guy.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I don't know. Like, I don't really care about everybody else but I want my own present, so maybe we have to just, like, go to the gym and see what's happening there.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah.

Brandon: Can I pull out my smartphone and using my goody two shoes, political connections with every single teacher on campus, can I just, like, email my favorite teacher? You know, it's the calculus teacher or whatever.

Eric: Sure.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): To be like, "Hey, do you know who was in detention duty today?

Eric: Yeah, I think they're gonna respond, you get an email back from the mysticalwizard@superschool.com.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric (as Calculus Teacher): Be like, Fritz, my boy. Of course you could ask me such questions for all we do is explore the magical depths of the universe and calculus. Unfortunately, I'm not able to help you because I need to run around and get artifacts for all 200 students and teachers. But what I will say is that it seems, like, there shouldn't have been any detention happening today. Why? Why would we have detention on Present-ation? That defies all laws of physics and of the multiverse! Haha! Please turn in your problem set at the end of winter break.

Brandon: He's the only teacher whose email reads itself out loud on your-- on your iPhone.

Julia: That feels right.

[Connor chuckles]

Amanda: Incredible.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Ah, yeah, there was no one-- there-- We were in detention for no reason apparently. There was no one. There was no one set-- Let's go to the gym.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): No. You were in detention for no reason. We got detention.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Yeah.

Eric (as Ms. Man Zuckuss): Wait, were you in detention? Ms. Man Zuckuss says. Says that, like, "That's just a rule of Present-ation. That there is no detention on when Present-ation is happening. You should have done this on the first day that you came back.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): How could I forget? That was one of the platforms I ran on!

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): That's literally your job, bud.

[Brandon chuckles]

Amanda (as Nora Brady): We have to find the Minotaur.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): And kill him.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I'm game for that plan.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): There we go.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): Did someone say killing?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I'm in.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): It's much more effective to bully if they're still alive, though. So that's just my one thing.

[Brandon laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Listen, you have an entire school worth of people to bully. I can sacrifice a person to capitalism today. And my god would super appreciate that.

Eric: Incredible. Can everyone please make perception checks?

Julia: Yes, of course.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: 10.

Brandon: 17.

Julia: 22.

Connor: 14.

Eric: 14. Is it getting colder in here?

Amanda: Oh no.

Eric: It seems like it's getting colder in the school. Did everyone get above a 20?

Julia: Me.

Eric: With above a 20, it seems like-- you literally are hearing the wind outside whipping against the school. Like, you know when it's blowing that hard you can actually hear it. And you hear like.

[odd noises]

Eric: Like trees, like, hitting against the windows and slapping against it. And outside all of you hear.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Ah, this is a lesson for all of you but also a lesson for me.

Amanda: Do we recognize the voice?

Eric: Yes, that's the voice of Mr. Minotaur outside.

Amanda: Oh beans.

Connor: Oh no.

Amanda: Um, can I try to vault over the desk and use the announcement system. Like, where is it located in the office?

Eric: Oh, it's just kind of like a microphone that's, like, attached to the wire into some computer over there.

Amanda: Yeah, can I just use my mage hand to, like, lift it toward me, like, a corded phone?

Eric: Yeah, make another sleight of hand check, but with– with advantage.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: First roll is natural 1, so that's good. 16, with advantage.

Eric: 16. Yeah, sure you can get-- you can pick it up.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): As I'm bringing it over, I'm gonna turn to my-- my newfound compatriots and be like, "I'm-- I was gonna tell everybody to give each other, like, a pencil or some shit. Is that okay?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah, I mean, like, if we defeat this guy, I can literally give everyone presents, like, for everyone to give.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Material gifts aren't really that great. We can just tell everyone to give each other compliments or hugs.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Except Fritz that the wind or whatever, basically, the devil for my religion in this-- in this holiday, basically won't go away unless we give each other material gifts.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): So, the– the storm is capitalism?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): No, no, no. Capitalism is what keeps the storm at bay.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): If we kill the Minotaur, we can each hand each student a piece of the Minotaur.

[Connor laughs]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Kinda!

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): As long as I don't have to put in any effort, I'm okay with either one. I like the pencil idea.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah, you think really into murder before, so would you put a little effort into murder?

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): I will, of course.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Okay. Great.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): As long as there's pain and suffering it just want to sleep tonight.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Hell yeah, my guy.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): The fact that it's windy and cold right now, I'm feeling, actually, right at home.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: Yeah, Aywin you-- you're just like, Wow, I've never liked school more than right now.

[Amanda chuckles]

Connor: I'm just kind of brooding behind everyone like, wow, this is the most I've seen anything happen in my entire life. Normally, I'm alone in my dark room.

Eric: Incredible. How, yeah, how does your family celebrate Present-ation?

Connor: We don't, actually. I couldn't even really tell you what my parents look like. They're at home half the time but we don't speak.

Eric: I like that.

Connor: And not in, like, a sad way. It's-- it's communal. We agree that we don't talk to each other. It's just how we-- that's how we communicate. It's actually how we show love.

Julia: It's like a monastery.

Connor: Yeah, basically.

Eric: Flashback to your house, and Present-ations past and there's like a knock at the door and you'd be like, "Um, honey, I didn't even want to really do this but I'm doing a load of laundry. And if somehow your clothes ended up in there, great."

Connor: Sounds about right, you know. That's pretty much what happens at my house.

Julia: It's perhaps the kindest moment in your home for a very long time.

Connor: We were-- we were just surprised that anyone ever knocked on our door. I think that was the first time someone's ever come to visit us.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric: I love you or whatever. It's fine. Everyone-- it's a question in all points of your house like read it get their own nooks

Connor: Our electricity bill is shockingly low.

Eric: Yeah.

Connor: No light. No heat

Eric: Candles high though. Lots of candles are going to the Sarafem house. Wonderful. Yes. What do you all want to do? I think that at that point, you might hear clattering and more screaming as the wind now is, like, fully whipping inside of the school.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Alright, let's go kill that Minotaur.

Brandon: Yeah, I think Fritz is gonna stand up and with his politician powers and his powers of performance just with fucking patriotic music behind him just give the best encouragement speech of his life to be like.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Alright, let's go defeat this Minotaur.

Eric: That's the best?

Brandon: Uh, well, like, I'm not Fritz, so like, I can't do it as well as Fritz. So just --

Julia: You can't do that.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): -- in your head. Just be like, you know, "Newfound friends, compatriots, and allies. It's time for us to kick, and I'm gonna say it, kick this Minotaur's butt and save Present-ation. Let's go!

Eric: I love the idea of Mickey Mouse hands holding that so that you can say that over the loudspeaker.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): In front of you. And then Brandon, they-- I say "Oh, what's that?" And then I do a little, like, the nose flick thing when I turn off the sound.

Eric: Just flick their nose?

Julia: Adorable.

Eric: Hell yes. I think that you see that the doors have busted wide open and everyone is just kind of running in different directions and leading outside in front of the gymnasium. As you run outside to see where the wind is whipping from, you see that Mr. Minotaur is now, like, kind of whipped up in kind of, like, an icy tornado. Like, his bottom half is now no longer on the ground. He's levitating a few feet off the ground. Like, even then there's just, like, white and light blue and real cold windchill whipping around him. It was like.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): No one can defeat me, obviously. I don't know why you let me go near children. I killed someone, like, three months ago.

[Brandon laughs]

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I'm still very much a villain and I fooled all of you, but the real winter wind is coming and I'll have infinite power.

Julia: I'm gonna cast Bless on the three of my companions real quick.

Brandon: Thank you.

Eric: Hell yes.

Julia: So, everyone kind of, like, glows with the shiny gold of a, like, MasterCard.

[Amanda laughs]

Eric: Incredible.

Julia: And you can add 1 D4 to any saving throw or attack that you guys do for the next, like, minute.

Brandon: Hell yeah. Okay.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Hell yes.

Connor: Nice.

Eric: Alright. So here's how this is going to work, this is the one-shot we don't have enough time to roll initiative and stuff. But I think that everyone just do something that you would, like, you think that you can save the day. You are outside, the wind chill is dropping, it is freezing, and it's getting colder and colder and colder. How are you going to defeat Mr. Minotaur using the skills that you all have? Everyone will get a chance to go. Whoever wants to go, and then we'l–l we'll figure it out and I'll throw some stuff back at you.

Julia: Cool.

Brandon: I'm gonna help my allies with their, like, aim and ability to attack, so I'm going to use Lightning Lure and I'm going to send out a shock of lightning to pull Mr. Minotaur back down to the ground in range of everyone.

Eric: Hell yes.

Brandon: So, you must succeed on a strength saving throw.

Julia: I feel like the Minotaur probably has pretty good strength.

Eric: I mean, let's see.

Connor: Yeah, that's what I was wondering. Like, what's his vulnerable points?

Eric: He has +4, but let's see how this goes.

Julia: Hey, real bad.

Eric: I rolled a 19.

Amanda: Aw shit.

Julia: Oh fuck.

Eric: That's pretty good.

Connor: That is pretty good.

Amanda: I am going to tip my wheelie backpack over to provide a little bit of a shield that we can all kind of crouch behind.

Connor: I was going to suggest is there anything that we see that I could transport us so we could go hide behind some shelter? If there's, like, we're outside but, like, a tree perhaps to the left?

Eric: Yeah, hell yeah. Make a perception check.

Connor: Ooh, 17.

Eric: Hell yes. Yeah, there's a big shed that has all the various sports balls and equipment that all of you can hide behind, so you're no longer freezing as much. I think with the lightning lure. Yeah, you guys BAMF behind there. And as even when you try to push them off, an icy blast is thrown back Fritz be like.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): I'm no ordinary string of Christmas lights. You can't just plug me in, and then leave me up and then I get tangled on my own and then it becomes a whole problem later. That's just not how it works.

Julia: I would like to inflict wounds at a level.

Eric: Oh, hell yes. Fritz, take five points of ice damage please as the icy wind cuts through you.

Brandon: Got it.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): It's a good idea, Fritz. Sorry. Weird shoes.

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): Weird? What? Are you talking about my shoes?

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Yeah, your shoes --

Amanda (as Nora Brady): Yeah.

Julia: -- bro.

Amanda (as Nora Brady): I complimented you and then I realized my whole thing.

Connor (as Aywin Sarafem): Yeah, I agree.

[Brandon stammers]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Did you buy them at Marshalls?

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): I don't know I got them at [stammers]. And I turn away.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Did your mom buy them for you?

Brandon (as Fritz Mondale): No!

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Oh buddy.

Eric: Julia, I will tell you through your appraisal, one from Marshall's two his mom did buy it for him. And three, she had a 25% off coupon as well.

[Players laugh]

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): Oh buddy. Buddy.

Julia: Cool. I rolled a 19. And I think for my melee spell attack, I add three to that, so that's a 22.

Eric: Yeah, hell yeah. That hits.

Julia: Cool, so I'm gonna roll 4 D10 necrotic damage on this motherfucker.

Eric: Holy shit!

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: 8, 7, 4, 10. Hold on, I have to do math. Math.

[Brandon chuckles]

Julia: 29.

Eric: Holy shit.

Amanda: Wow.

Connor: Damn.

Eric: What does inflict wounds look like from a wealth cleric?

Julia: $100 bills appear around me and then just, like, shoot at it like razor leaf.

Amanda: Yeah! They get, like, torn up in this tornado.

Julia: Yeah.

Connor: When they hit him, do they make a ka-ching sound?

Julia: Absolutely.

[Brandon chuckles]

Eric: That feels like when, you know, like a 70s or 80s game show how the-- you're trapped in a box.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: And then, like, there's just money going everywhere. That 100% Yeah, it's called a bit like.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, I could use this to spend on-- to spend on my evil lair but it's hurting me instead.

Julia: It's like one of those things like Tantalus. Like, the minute he tries to grab when it just disappears.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): This seems like a metaphor for other things.

[players chuckle]

[dice rolls]

Eric: Oh, yes. Julia in response, take 8 points of ice damage, as Mr. Minotaur takes, like, a clump of $100 bills and puts them together in a snowball and just throws it at your head.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Be like, I hate everything that's happening here.

Julia (as Chloe St. Croix): You're welcome.

Amanda: I would love to follow that up with a mage hand punch where I send out both of my mage hands, the Mickey Mouse hands making a pillowy fist. And I'm going to hit him first to the left and then to the right of his head.

Eric: Hell yeah.

Amanda: Okay, the first one was an 11 to hit but I'm going to add that 1D4, so that's a 13 to hit.

Eric: No. That does not hit.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: Okay. Then I'll try my second. Nope, that almost shoot a 7.

Eric: You swing and they'll-- with you, Mickey Mouse hands are being tossed through the air by the wind.

Amanda: That's okay. I can, using Action Surge, take a second action on top.

Eric: Do it.

Amanda: Can I just try to give him a wet willy in one of his ears and distract him for whoever's coming next?

Eric: Sure. Yeah. Make a dexterity check.

[Dice rolls]

Amanda: That's a 16.

Eric: That-- yeah, that-- that distracts him. I'll give advantage on the next person who does something. The Mickey Mouse hands are tossed about in the-- in the winter wind and you get one in his ear. Be like.

Eric (as Mr. Minotaur): Oh, oh no. This is bringing up memories of being bullied as a child.