“The Beach Episode is, simply put, an episode where the cast decided to take a break and go to the beach or a swimming pool for some wet and splashy fun. In a lot of shows, the Beach Episode generally exists solely for the purpose of getting the cast into bathing suits, either for titillation or just because some people want to see what the characters' bathing suits look like.” - TV Tropes
Dive into our ship combat mechanics, classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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- website: jointhepartypod.com
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Hey, folks, Amanda here with a really, really quick reminder that Jokens are up for sale. If you make a funny joke or your friend makes a funny joke, or you want to tell them that you think their joke is amazing, you can give them a physical Joken. These are incredible joke tokens that we made, that you can get now at our merch store at jointhepartypod.com/merch. And best of all, one in every 33 orders will also receive a special Black Pearl Joken. These are limited edition, we've only made a few of them. And just like the Researchers Delight at Crimson Exchange, you have a shot at getting an ultra-rare bonus coin that you can also pawn off on some tourists. So come on over, check it out, guys. They are so pretty. We put so much effort into making these beautiful, and you got to check out the black pearls, alright? Go to jointhepartypod.com/merch and get your tokens today. Last time on Join the Party.
[Mysterious music]
Eric: And, Troy, you feel a moment where you feel every single cactus thorn riddled through your body as you fall backwards and are pinned to the ground.
Eric (as Alfonso Soriano): [PA System] Winner, Kid Cervantes!
Eric: Cammie as you look up, you look and you see on the other side of the dueling arena, you see a momentary flash of the American Southwest, and Kid Cervantes is gone, but there is a parchment tied up and stabbed into the ground with a big cactus thorn.
Julia: Fucker.
Eric: The Cloud Key is also gone.
Julia: Cammie is going to run over and be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, okay. Let's see what he has—
[Audio runs backwards]
Julia: Cammie has already appeared back on the ground instead of in the studio and is going to heal Troy.
Eric: Yeah, you can just poof on there. That's fine.
Julia: Cure Wounds is a one D10, it's going to go up to a— sorry, it's a one D8, it's going to go up to a one D10 plus my spell casting modifier.
Eric: Do it.
Julia: [dice roll] So that is going to be 6 plus 6, so 12 hit points back for Troy.
Eric: 12 points back for Troy.
[Dramatic music]
Eric: And stabbed into the ground with a big cactus thorn.
Julia: Fucker.
Eric: The Cloud Key is also gone.
Julia: Cammie is going to run over and be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, let's see what he has to say.
Eric (as Kid Cervantes): Troy and his friends, they fought valiantly, but there can only be one great pirate sharpshooter…
[Audio fades, mysterious music resumes]
[theme]
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party,
Eric: The undersea anemone monster broke through the arcane barrier of Small Key Stadium and started destroying everything. Now, the crew of the Sea Whip tried to lure it away with snacks and fast boat maneuvers. But after a series of tough dice rolls, and a very high difficulty level on the skill challenge, they couldn't get it done, and Small Key Stadium slid into the sea. In the wreckage, Kid Cervantes challenge Troy to the Bulls Eye Games finale, a final duel to decide who is the fastest gun in the Great Salt Sea. And then Troy got really shot up and almost died. Kid then grabbed the Cloud Key and disappeared, leaving only a note in regards to gathering the crew later on to save his siblings from the underwater prison. Okay, folks, let's get that hollow look in our eyes. Perfect, ready to go. Let's get the party started.
[theme ends]
Eric: Have you ever been on a road trip with bad vibes?
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Like, someone had a fight at a campground and now you're like, "Gotta drive for 8 hours, let's go."
Julia: It's not a good time.
Brandon: You mean in the road trip with the family ever?
Eric: Yeah, that's a good one, too. That's a good one, too.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Now, please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just the humble Dungeon Master of Join the Party, but—
Brandon: Lower third, greatest— greatest—
Eric: The greatest DM in podcasting. Yeah.
Brandon: —DM in podcasting.
Eric: Yeah. Now, I'm just a humble dungeon master, but I think that the Sea Whip heading back to the Hold from Small Key Island, I can't think that the vibes are great, I can't.
Julia: It's not ideal.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: No.
Amanda: Silent. Sometimes, Sil tries to strike up conversation, sing a little tune, and even Harold's like, "Come on, dude."
Eric: It's like, "Hey, I know— I know you're alive for the first time, but like read the room. Come on."
Brandon: Read the ship.
Eric: Yeah, read it.
Brandon: I think Umbi's like snapping at people really easily, and it's just like mumbling to himself, like going back and forth across the deck, like doing small tasks. You know like— you know like when you get like hyper-focused on, like, one spot of dirt or blood or something on the deck and you scrub it with a toothbrush for 40 minutes.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Umbi, I made— I made us— I made saltwater grits. You haven't eaten in days, do you want any?
Brandon (as Umbi): Shut up!
Eric (as Havana): Okay, no. I guess not. I'll just leave it here.
Brandon: Saltwater grits sound fucking good.
Julia: Yeah, that does really good, actually.
Amanda: I'm into it.
Julia: Have we talked about what the maidenhead looks like yet?
Eric: No, I don't think so.
Julia: We should decide on that. I feel like it's like a seaweed dragon or something like that. I don't know.
Eric: I think for now— I— in my head, it was just Harold.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Eric: Like, again, that's a part like when Harold's not doing the rigging.
Julia: Aw.
Eric: Harold hangs out as the maidenhead.
Julia: Cute.
Eric: It's like, "Look at the sexy lady I am."
Julia: So is it just like a formless shape of wood and then Harold—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: —shapes it with his own body?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I think so. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: So it's different every time. Maybe one time, he's a mermaid.
Eric: Yeah, seaweed dragon.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hot sea mermaid lady sometimes.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But it's just Harold putting things on, yeah.
Amanda: Seaweed drag queen.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: Oh, seaweed drag queen.
Brandon: Nice, nice.
Julia: Ooh. I like that. I think that Cammie is like on top of that kind of formless shape of wood that is the maidenhead and just, like, murmuring with Nonny being like—
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Yeah, that was not the best moment that we've had. I did give a lot of people tea, though, so that was something. [Nonny hums] Yeah, I agree, it was— it was— it could have been— could have been worse, could have been better. [Nonny hums] Hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): Shut up!
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi's being really mean right now, but we're just going to ignore that, because we know that it's coming from our place of hurt. [Nonny hums] Uh-hmm. And then we'll leave him some lavender tea before he goes to bed. And if he knocks it down, that's fine. If he accepts it, even better.
Eric: Nonny gestures over, and there's like— there's like four cups of tea already knocked over.
Julia (as Cammie): Yup, that's why we gave him the cups that don't break easily.
Brandon: And the tea spells “shut up”.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric: Hey, Troy, di— did you get anything for coming in second?
Amanda: No. There is—
Julia: No.
Amanda: No.
Julia: That— like, normally, I feel like there would have been a second place thing.
Amanda: Exactly. There might have been some kind of consolation prize, maybe a gift card—
Julia: Right.
Amanda: —maybe like a VIP box at next year's games, but—
Julia: To be fair, we could have just said, "Yes, Eric. 10 Amber."
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: It's still funny.
Brandon: We could have gotten a gift card to Olive Garden and you don't need to change that because it's already perfect.
Julia: The Olive Garden.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: When you're here, you're olives.
Julia: You're a family of olives.
Amanda: But, yeah, I think if there was anything, honestly, Troy just left before he even thought of that.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Goddammit, we could have gamed the system is what I'm saying.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Amanda made a choice. Amanda made a strong choice.
Julia: Amanda, excellent role-playing choice, terrible choice from our favorite character's perspective.
Amanda: That's what I'm here for.
Julia: Yup.
Amanda: And Troy is just standing at the wheel, not really steering, because they're just sort of like charting a very long course toward the direction of the Hold, staring off at the horizon, trying his best not to think thoughts, which he's never had to do before, but these days his head is very filled with them. And then I don't know— how long does the journey take, couple days?
Eric: Yeah, a few days.
Amanda: Yeah. So at night when he goes back to his cabin, and he's like sleeping as little as possible, but he is staring at a little, like, cobbled together, like, folded-over pile of blank paper, where he's been thinking about that thing, where you can sort of write your own book.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: And talk about your own story, and put words from the inside of your brain onto a page for someone else to read.
Eric: Interesting.
Brandon: And we hard cut to 12 years later, where you see the cover of a book that says 101 Facts About Barrels by Troy R. Riptide.
Amanda: Exactly. And I don't think he's written anything yet, but he is thinking about it, and he is staring at it with a little nub of pencil in hand.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Adorable. Sad, but adorable.
Eric: Yeah. I think late that night, you hear—
Eric (as Sil): My— my liege, do you need any more candles? You seem to be burning this one pretty hard.
Amanda: Troy looks over.
Eric: Sil has brought a bunch— Sil warbling, trying to— trying to keep form, holding— holding some candles for him.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, man, that means a lot. Thank you, Sil.
Eric (as Sil): You know, my limited understanding of the ways that kingdoms work here in this particular part of the cosmos is that you might need things and things, so I've decided to bring it to you. Mr.— Mr. Prince, sir.
Amanda (as Troy): Ah, I guess— yeah. No, I probably should address that with everybody. Thank you. I— listen, I— I left the Crags, that's not— that's not me anymore and I— I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. I thought it might bring some heat to the rest of you, and it did, and that was true. But here we are, and you're just— you're my mate and that— that means a lot more than anybody using any title, you know?
Eric (as Sil): What was— what was— I don't know anything about the Crags. What is it— what's it like over there?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, man. It's— it's like everybody has their own little world, you know? And, like, you're in a little world of where exactly you're at, and you're in a little world of your family. And you're in a little world of like— oh, yeah, we, like, turned this inhospitable rock into a place where you can grow some mosses and make a tea out of it. Sorry, no offense. And— and so that's— that's really what it's like. And then, you know, sometimes like the— the king that you pledge allegiance to changes, and sometimes, you know, you wake up one day, and the flags outside the school are different than the ones that were there before, and life kind of goes on. But, you know, for me, I— I'm not the oldest, I'm not the king, not very smart. No one really needed me for much, so I wanted to come out here and, you know, do my own journey. But, honestly, I— I missed it a little bit.
Eric (as Sil): So when you're here, you're— so you're not important there where you are?
Julia: You’re family.
Brandon: I was thinking the same thing.
Eric (as Sil): So when you're there, you are important, but you're not important. And when you're here, you're important, but not important, but important.
Amanda (as Troy): I really prefer being important to unimportant people, than be unimportant to the most important people, you know what I mean?
Julia: Damn.
Eric (as Sil): I don't.
Brandon: Wow.
Eric (as Sil): I've been alive so recently.
Amanda (as Troy): Sil, could you lay on top of me? Is that a thing you can do?
Eric (as Sil): Wait, I could give it a shot— I could give it a shot.
Julia (as Troy): Like a gravity blanket or a thunder jacket for a dog.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, buddy.
Eric (as Sil): Sure. I don't think you should do this a lot, because then you'll get used to it, then you can't fall asleep without me on top of you.
Julia: It's true.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, but I just— I don't know. It means a lot to me that— that you're my friend, and it's not quite the same as just, like, hugging your— your quiver as you go to sleep, you know?
Eric (as Sil): I do not do that, but I could guess.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, bud.
Brandon: I didn't think that Troy and Sil are going to end up being a couple, but here we are.
Julia: Look at this romance.
Amanda: Bros can hug, Brandon.
Julia: Bros can hug.
Brandon: No, we're— we're at stage one, we got to get to stage 30—
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: —but I like it. Yeah.
Eric: Bro— bros can lay on top of each other like weighted blankets.
Julia: I don't disagree.
Brandon: Hey, and bros can also fall in love at stage 30, Eric.
Amanda: Yeah, that's true.
Eric: Just like Milo and all of his friends. They were so close to kissing.
Julia: Yeah. Everyone was so close to kissing.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: We were stage 29 with the four of them kissing.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Every time you looked away, their mouths were like centimeters apart. And then one of them would, like, look to the side, they'd be like, "Oh, Taco Bell." And you'd be like, "No!"
Eric: Yes. Yeah, Apple would sneeze every time and then it just broke the moment. Every single time. Alright, well, I think that we're— we're motoring on close to the island. I think that the Sea Whip is motoring on over to the Hold, back to your home island. If this was Final Fantasy or an RPG, we're, like, on the world map, you know? We're like zoomed out and then we're bumping an invisible— we're bumping an invisible wall or “Event Appears”, a big box of— appears, because—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —we're expecting the title of Skill Tree: Three Tokyo drifts. But, first, it is like [alert noises] “Event Appears," as Harold says—
Eric (as Harold): Okay! The vibes here are terrible! We're going to fix that. Before we end up going home, we are going to the beach!
Julia (as Cammie): Beach?
Amanda (as Troy): Beach?
Julia (as Cammie): We live on a beach.
Amanda (as Troy): For fun?
Brandon (as Umbi): For— yeah, for fun or for digging for treasure?
Amanda (as Troy): For profit, which is also fun.
Eric (as Harold): No, for fun and we're not going to the— we're not going to the regular beach. We're going to the secret beach.
Julia (as Cammie): There's a secret beach?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Amanda: Troy burst out crying.
Brandon: That's the one with Leo— with Leo DiCaprio right, Eric?
Eric: Yeah, Danny Boy— Danny Boyle. Yeah.
Julia: That's— yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: We're going to go watch Danny Boyles' classic, The Beach.
Amanda: We're going to go ruin an environment.
Julia: No, it's the M. Night Shyamalan one.
Eric: But, no—Hey, we're going to the beach, everyone please take out your rock, paper, scissors card!
All: Yay!
Brandon: Are you telling me these cards have double duty, Eric?
Eric: I'm saying that we can play rock, paper, scissors whenever we want, Brampton.
Julia: Weee!
Brandon: What?
Julia: I'm gonna stop a combat one day and be like, "Eric, I want to play rock, paper, scissors. I don't want to roll any dice anymore, is that okay?
Eric: We're gonna go— yeah, we're gonna do rock, paper, scissors instead. Well, first, all the players, let's roll for a D20.
Amanda: Sure.
Julia: [dice roll] Okay. 10.
Amanda: 14.
Brandon: 6.
Eric: Alright. Amanda, you rolled the highest. Amanda, where is the secret beach?
Amanda: Oh. Well, the secret beach is through a narrow channel, back out behind the Outback Steakhouse.
Eric: Hmm. Of course, of course.
Julia: Nice, nice.
Amanda: Not quite where the dumpsters are. But, like, you've to stand kind of in the dumpster to sort of point yourself in the right direction, and it's like a— a sort of nothing like barrier island out behind the Hold.
Eric: I like that.
Julia: Heck yeah.
Brandon: Past the Outback Steakhouse, past the Olive Garden.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Take a left.
Amanda: To the Applebee, that's another, just—
Eric: Ooh, there it is!
Amanda: That's another, just— just—
Brandon: Ooh, shit!
Amanda: Another NPC Greenfolk right there.
Eric: Yeah. I mean, the Applebee is obviously like the beach shack.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: But it's only—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: — for the secret beach. It is not doing well.
Amanda: No. It's staffed by a bartender, what's his name? What from the Bachelor Beach?
Eric: Oh, Wells?
Amanda: Wells, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Well, it's only not doing well if you're trying to turn a profit, Eric. But if you're just trying to, like, you know, live in there, just like live in your exi— you know, like, surfers like live on the beach, you know?
Eric: Oh, sure. Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You're just doing it to make a little bit money for, like, when you have to go—
Amanda: Just enough.
Eric: —when you have to go into town, for sure.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: And Wells, the Applebee.
Eric (as Wells): Yo, what's up, bro? Welcome to the Applebee. This is the only sandwich you can get by staying a secret. Surf's up, my guy. I'm half apple, half bee.
Julia (as Cammie): Woah!
Amanda (as Troy): I hope it's okay that I say, your butt is adorable.
Julia (as Cammie): It's stripey, but also so round.
Eric (as Wells): Shiny and pointy, just like my mama made it.
Brandon: I was gonna ask, Eric, do you think— is this apple bee a bee that's red, shiny red, or is it an apple that has stripes?
Amanda: Bee top, apple bottom.
Brandon: Oh, apple bottom jeans with a fur.
Eric: Boots with a fur.
Amanda: Exactly.
Eric: Exactly.
Amanda: And some bees do in fact have little hairs on their feetsies, what to pick up more pollen.
Eric: Hey, folks, get in the comments. Tell us, is apple on top, bee on bottom?
Julia: Someone draw it, someone draw it—
Eric: If an apple bee existed, would it be like this or like this?
Amanda: If an apple bee wore—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —pants, would it be on vertically or horizontally?
Brandon: Hmm. Hmm.
Amanda: You know?
Eric: Yeah, get in the comments.
Amanda: Get in— yeah.
Eric: Alright. Hey, we're doing a special beach episode before we can go to—
Julia: Wow!
Eric: —the skill tree because the vibes are bad here.
Amanda: Wee!
Julia: Wow! Beach!
Amanda: Thanks, Eric.
Eric: No problem. This was inspired by Swords as Subtext which is by Boy Problems. You might know Boy Problems from Boy Problems, their eponymous RPG, which is a Lasers and Feelings game, inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen. But they've also made a number of other stuff, including this really cute little one-pager about a duel and kind of revealing information about duels just using coin flips.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: But I'm taking that inspiration for us having some beach episodes and using our rock-paper-scissors mechanic.
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Julia: Woah!
Brandon: I am excited.
Eric: Incredible. Alright. So, we are out at the secret beach, which is out back— we're— we're—
Amanda: Out back of the Outback Steakhouse.
Eric: Yeah. We have already established the shack Applebee's that is there, and this is how we're going to do it. We're going to start with Amanda. We're gonna go in— in the order that you all rolled. It's gonna go Amanda, Julia, Brandon, and then me.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Amanda, you're going to pick one of us, and the person who's picked will choose the beachy activity that character of picker and your character will be doing.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: Yeah. And then we're going to do some mechanics to work it out.
Amanda: Alright. I think Troy is a little concerned that Harold is jealous that he hugged Sil. So Troy is going to choose Harold.
Eric: Alright. So you— Amanda's gonna choose me. And that means that no one else can choose me, for now. Amanda, would you also like to include any other NPCs or just a one-on-one?
Amanda: One-on-one.
Eric: Okay, one-on-one. So, Amanda, you since you chose me—
Julia: It's like The Bachelor, would you like to go on a one-on-one with me?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: I know.
Amanda: Yes, I would.
Eric: So I'm going to choose the beachy activity. I think the first thing that we do, as everyone starts laying out their beach supplies, which obviously Harold has already stashed in the back of the Sea Whip, so we can emergency fix bad vibes if needed.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric: I think we'll run up ahead and try to find a good spot out on the secret beach.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Is there— is it very crowded at the secret beach?
Eric: There's— there— Julia, there's good spots and bad spots.
Julia: Okay, fine.
Eric: You should— you should know.
Julia: That's fine.
Brandon: There's one where there's like a palm tree in your way.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: You can't see the ocean. There's one where you get sprayed too much.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah, Troy will pick up like all the blankets, and chairs, and umbrellas, and just heft them all on his back and bound off after Harold.
Eric: It's like—
Eric (as Harold): Alright, you— you all get off at your own leisure. I'm gonna have Troy pop his shirt off as fast as possible, so we're— we're having a good time. We're gonna go on ahead. You all take your time.
Julia (as Cammie): Good choice. Very good choice.
Amanda: The camera whips around 180 degrees to see Troy already shirtless in very short briefs, completely glistening.
Julia: Amazing.
Brandon: And it's in slow motion and there's Vaseline on the lens—
Amanda: Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: —and it's— it's beautiful.
Amanda: No, he's been not drenched, but polished to a shine with some kind of oil.
Eric: Naturally. Naturally, of course.
Amanda: Yeah, naturally.
Eric: Alright. Well, as we are walking up to our beach spot, the first person, please, can you come up with a small, low stakes wacky problem that arises, as Troy and Harold walk up with some umbrellas and chairs, trying to find a good spot?
Amanda: Yes. The— oh, this is really good. Okay. The wacky problem is that we— we see the perfect spot, okay?
Eric: It's perfect.
Amanda: It is in dappled sun shade, under like a— a palm tree, you know, so people can stick their— you know, can be in the sun, can be in the shade.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: It is right near a little cove—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —so, you know, you're not getting sprayed by waves, but you can put your little feet in the ocean if you want to. A gentle slope, no rocks, really easy sand for laying out. So we put all our stuff down and then we look up, and there are several hundred small guava birds.
Eric: No!
Julia: Guava birds?
Amanda: Roosting in the tree.
Eric: Tell me about guava birds.
Amanda: Well, they are very small, very round birds, shaped just like a guava fruit. But when they open their mouth, they emit the highest-pitched scream. And so, Troy looks up, and I think the— the tension is, do I move all the stuff that I just painstakingly set up or do I try and scatter them?
Brandon: Amanda, my imagination is on the fritz. What does that sound like when they do that—
Eric: Yeah, what does— what does it sound like?
Amanda: [high-pitched screams] Is that good? You need me to do it again?
Julia: It was great. It was great. Yeah, one more, just like for a clean take.
Eric: Yeah, one more. Yeah, just for a clean take.
Julia: One more. One more.
Amanda: [high-pitched screams]
Julia: Great, great. I think that's really good.
Brandon: That was everything I was hoping for and more.
Julia: No one knows.
Eric: Alright.
Julia: No one knows.
Amanda: I didn't know I can make that noise.
Eric: Yeah. Alright. So for us to resolve--
Amanda: I did not know I can make that noise. That was such a Troy Riptide statement.
Eric: Alright. So to resolve this issue—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —we're gonna play rock, paper, scissors, two out of three. Whoever wins—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —is going to say how their character is going to try to fix it.
Amanda: Great.
Eric: And on the second win, whoever wins the second time will resolve it. And then you get to ask the other character a question that they have to answer truthfully.
Amanda: Love it.
Julia: Wow.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: In the scene. Also, if we tie, the problem escalates even more ridiculously—
Amanda: Great.
Eric: —by so— and someone not in the scene has to escalate the problem. So every time we tie, Brandon or Julia will escalate this guava bird issue.
Amanda: Oh, that's very good.
Eric: Alright. So here we go.
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, both paper.
Julia: Oh, it's a tie!
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: It's a tie. Brandon, Julia, escalate.
Brandon: Oh, man, these guava birds are dropping seeds everywhere on your head.
Eric (as Harold): No!
Amanda (as Troy): No! Ew, it's sticky.
Eric (as Harold): Oh, it's in my—it's in my body. Gross!
Amanda (as Troy): No! Oh, let me get it out.
[Guava bird screams]
Julia: It's also very pink. It's super pink, all the poop, like, is everywhere.
Eric (as Harold): This clashes.
Eric: Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, I got rock.
Amanda: Oh, I got scissors.
Eric: Rock over scissors.
Amanda: Alright.
Eric: Okay. I think Harold's first thought obviously is—
Eric (as Harold): No one makes me clash without my permission.
Eric: So, Harold— Harold is trying to climb up to the tree to get all of the guava birds out.
Julia: Great. Okay. Alright.
Eric: It's like— and Harold is like slorping and amorphously shimming their way up the tree.
Julia: Terrifying.
Brandon: Now, Eric, my imagination is on the fritz. What does that sound like when he does that?
Eric: [slorping sound] Alright, that's one for me. Amanda, let's do it again. Alright, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Pa—
Amanda: Paper covers rock.
Julia: Oh, Amanda won that one.
Eric: Amanda won that one. So Troy is also going to— is also going to try to resolve the issue, how do you do it?
Amanda: Troy jogs up to Applebee's and purchases five of whatever they got.
Julia: Sandwiches, they only sell one sandwich.
Amanda: Great. So he just says—
Amanda (as Troy): Five of whatever you got.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Wells): Oh. Oh, nice. Ham and slaw question mark, here you go.
Amanda (as Troy): Tight. Thanks, bro.
Brandon: Ham and slaw?
Julia: Uh oh.
Amanda: He stuffs one in his mouth, one in the pocket of his shorties, and then immediately flings the other three behind the shack, and just into the woods.
[Eric laughs]
Brandon: Alright.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Yeah, good, good, good.
Julia: Great.
Brandon: Now, Eric, real quick, though, I want to know, what's ham?
Eric: Hmmm? Alright, here we go.
Julia: Brandon, Brandon, it's pollen pig, we talked about that.
Eric: It's pollen pig.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's already been said.
Amanda: Alright. We went three times, but we have to go again to break the tie?
Eric: Best two out of three.
Amanda: Great. Okay.
Eric: Okay, here we go.
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Amanda: Scissors.
Eric: Another tie!
Amanda: Whoa!
Julia: Tie again.
Brandon: Oh, scissors.
Eric: Julia, escalate.
Julia: Oh, my God. So all the birds take off to go after the sandwiches, but one of them picks it up with its tiny body, and it's too big, and all the other ones, like, gang up on them.
Amanda: Oh, no!
Julia: And then you're like, "Oh, no, the poor baby."
Eric (as Harold): I didn't want nature to take its course, I just wanted it to go.
Eric: Alright. Rock, paper—
Amanda: One more time.
Eric: —scissors, shoot.
Amanda: Scissors.
Eric: Scissors!
Julia: It's tied again.
Eric: Brandon, escalate.
Brandon: Double scissors.
Amanda: No!
Brandon: Well, Troy and Harold are rushing over to try to help this tiny bird, and there's just so many rocks on the path and they trip.
Amanda (as Troy): Ow. Ohh. Ow.
Brandon: They just keep tripping.
Amanda (as Troy): God!
Eric (as Harold): Of cou— why would they wear shoes on the beach?
Amanda (as Troy): Harold, jump on me.
Eric (as Harold): Okay, fine.
Eric: Now, I'm covering Troy's eyes.
Amanda: Exactly. Thank you.
Julia: No!
Eric: Okay. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, I got scissors.
Amanda: I got paper again, yeah.
Eric: Alright. Alright. So the way that this resolves, as I'm comically covering your eyes, we stumble into the crowd of guava birds, they all scream. The— we knock the sandwich out of the guava birds' little feet, and they all just leave, because they don't want to deal with this at all, and just go farther down the beach. It's fine.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: It's really not that big of a deal.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, God. I feel like those screams are gonna haunt my dreams forever.
Eric (as Harold): That's what— that's the best part of the beach, the memories you—you make along the way.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon: Hard cut to Troy's nightmare a week later. What does that sound like, Amanda?
Amanda: [high-pitched screams]
Eric (as Harold): Troy, so there's probably no better time other than this to ask you this.
Amanda (as Harold): Yeah. Listen, sometimes— sometimes bonding with your bros smells like sticky, sticky pink poop from those birds.
Eric (as Harold): Yeah, for sure.
Amanda (as Troy): And feels like very sharp, little rocks all up in my feet.
Eric (as Harold): So what's the thing that's caused you more— what's the thing that's caused you more harm? Competing to the highest level than being— and then being beaten—
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Harold): —soundly by someone who's obviously better than you?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, sure.
Eric (as Harold): And you have to spend— you have to spend years to try to get to that level? Or secretly hiding your royalty from your friends?
Amanda (as Troy): You know, Harold, I think it's got to be overestimating my abilities where I told all my crew to, you know, to kind of jump in behind me and I got this. And then, ultimately, when the going got tough, Troy got second, and really just let down my crew. And also showed that I told the secret that I didn't really think about what the impact will be on other people apart from me, because mostly what I cared about was sort of getting out from my brother's shadow and bringing some kind of unspecified glory to family and a place that, looking back, I— I don't know why I care about so much—
Eric (as Harold): Hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): —so I guess I'd say both.
Eric (as Harold): Hey, we all got se— hey, we all got secrets, buddy. That's fine. It ended up working out okay. I know everyone's in a funk, but we didn't die.
Amanda (as Troy): No, we did kind of destroy a landmark, and maybe one day, I can— I can fix that, but— yeah. I—
Amanda: Troy is silently weeping.
Julia: As always.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm just— I'm— I'm glad that you— you still want to talk to me. It— it really means a lot that— that you— you took us here to this beach to— to repair the vibes, because if— if you don't have vibes, what do we have?
Eric (as Harold): We don't have anything.
Amanda (as Troy): [crying] We don't have anything.
Eric (as Harold): [crying] We don't have anything.
Amanda: Troy— Troy, like— like trying to hold a beanbag. Troy is just, like, embracing Harold.
Eric (as Harold): It's alright. Also, don't project, you didn't destroy it. It was a weird monster with pink undulating tentacles.
Amanda (as Troy): Are you sad that I had— had Sil to hug me last night?
Eric (as Harold): No, why would I?
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, because I also want to hug you.
Eric (as Harold): That's fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric: Cammie and Umbi, as you—
Amanda: Walk up.
Eric: —as you walk up, we have not chosen a spot on the beach.
Julia (as Cammie): So, are we setting up here or, like, over by those trees or—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Yes, that’s good.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Harold): That's fine. Whatever works.
Amanda (as Troy): Here's a sandwich.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, thank you.
Amanda: And Troy pulls out of, like, a thigh pocket of his bathing suit, a flattened sandwich.
Julia (as Cammie): Sweaty. Thank you.
Brandon (as Umbi): We're planning to set up between the forest and the Applebee shack?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Is that what we're saying?
Eric (as Harold): Yeah, there's— there— there used to be birds in the shade, but there's not anymore. It's good.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh.
Eric (as Harold): Don't worry, we're gonna do it here.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm sticky.
Amanda: And then Troy runs into the ocean.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, alright.
Eric: Wonderful.
Amanda: That was really fun.
Eric: Yeah, it was good.
Brandon: Hey— hey, Eric, is Leonardo Carpaccio anything?
Eric: Certainly.
Julia: Is it?
Brandon: Leonardo de Carpaccio, is that anything?
Eric: Probably.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Now, Carpaccio is famously—
Brandon: It's meat, yeah.
Julia: Meat, yeah.
Brandon: But sometimes they—
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: —make like melon— like melon carpaccio, you know? There's like a plate— plate of melon.
Julia: That's just sliced melon, my guy.
Brandon: I know.
Eric: That could—
Brandon: I'm— I'm saying I don't do it.
Eric: I mean, that could be someone's name, like regardless.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: That's why it's a thing.
Brandon: Yeah, okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: You can make anything someone's name. Look at Havana Tropicana.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. True.
Brandon: True.
Eric: Alright. Julia, it is your turn, let's go all the way back to the beginning of thi— this thing. Please pick who you want to do a scene with. You can't pick me.
Julia: I was going to do Havana Tropicana, but I will not now.
Amanda: Aw I’m sorry.
Eric: Yeah. You can bring Havana along as well, but you can't pick— Amanda picks an NPC.
Julia: I guess I'll talk to Umbis.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Julia: Umbis.
Amanda: The Umbis.
Eric: The Umbis.
Julia: The Umbis.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright. Brandon, what's the beach activity that Cammie and Umbi get up to?
Brandon: Oh, sand castle building, of course.
Eric: Sand castle building, of course.
Julia: Naturally.
Eric: Of course.
Julia: Obviously.
Eric: Of course. Tell me about what— what does this look like? What did they— what do you feel? What are you— what are your characters doing?
Brandon: Well, you know, when you have a big, old failure, it's nice to be able to just do a small thing that you feel you're competent at.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And so to, like, rebuild your—your pride and your— your confidence and your ability to do anything, you know?
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: So, yeah, I think they take like a bunch of, like, coconut shells that are littered across the beach and just kind of make like— almost like, you know, like the Gungan City where it's like all domes.
Eric: Yeah, nice. Nice.
Julia: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sure, sure. Yeah, Cammie's like finding little shells and putting them on top as little spires and whatnot.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: Yeah. And then maybe a— a guava bird lands and they're like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, a giant a bird is attacking the city—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no.
Eric: Julia, why— hey, what's the small, low stakes wacky problem that arises?
Julia: The sand? Not wet enough, so—
Eric: Sand not wet enough?
Julia: Sand not wet enough.
Eric: Sand not wet enough.
Julia: Domes keep falling apart.
Eric: Too crumbly.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Too crumbly.
Eric: Them crumbles.
Julia: So dry.
Amanda: Crumble.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: The crumbles.
Julia: Crumble.
Eric: Yeah. Do you— y'all don't want any NP— any NPCs with you?
Julia: Yeah, I want Havana Tropicana around, because I don't want to forget about him. We had a nice touching moment during the last arc.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And I— I care about Havana Tropicana.
Brandon: Also, Havana has maybe some juice that he could lend. He— he has very exposed skin like— right?
Julia: You want to make Havana Tropicana bleed so that we can--
Brandon: Bleed onto the sand?
Amanda: No.
Julia: Wet the sand?
Brandon: To wet the sand.
Eric (as Havana): I— I don't want to have to.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Eric (as Havana): Do I have to?
Brandon: Well, I— I— to me, no, I just— I'm saying that as a player Brandon.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Eric: Oh, okay. Oh.
Julia: Umbi is not like, "Bleed on this sand."
Brandon: Right, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Sure. Yeah, Umbi is—
Amanda (as Umbi): You're young. You got plenty.
Eric: Incredible. Alright. Well, hey, let's play some rock, paper, scissors, folks.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Let's figure out how we're gonna resolve this problem.
Julia: Alright.
Amanda: Julia looks like she's about to du-du-du-du-duel.
Julia: Duel.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Alright. 3,2,1.
Brandon: I got scissors.
Julia: Ah, it's a tie.
Eric: Scissors, it's a tie!
Brandon: Tie!
Eric: Amanda, escalate the problem. It's too dry.
Amanda: Well, not only is it too dry where the existing landmass of your castle that you built, the domes don't quite hold. But the whole beach is so sunbaked as we reach the apex of the sun of the day, that the whole foundation of the castle begins sliding toward the waterline.
Eric: Oh, no.
Julia: No!
Eric: We have— there— there are even more issues.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: No.
Eric: Another rock, paper, scissors.
Julia: 3,2,1, go.
Brandon: Skissors. Goddammit, Julia.
Julia: I also did scissors!
Amanda: It’s a tie, Eric, escalate!
Eric: And now— though— and— but here's the thing, it's now becoming high tide, so the water is getting even closer.
Julia and Brandon: No!
Julia: Alright, let's go again. 3,2,1.
Brandon: Go. Skissors.
Julia: Yeah, I did.
Eric: Alright. Julia got a rock. Julia, what— how is Cammie going to resolve this issue?
Julia: Cammie's using shape water to part—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —the water as the waves come up so it does not hit our sweet, sweet sandcastle, creating a moat.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Oh, it's just like the Gungan City.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Love it.
Eric: Smart. Alright. That's 1-0, Julia. Let's keep going.
Julia: Alright 3,2,1, go.
Julia and Brandon: Paper.
Julia: We're tied again. Fuck.
Eric: Double paper! Escalate the issue, Amanda.
Amanda: Suddenly, all of those convenient coconut shells that you've been using to mold the sand, sprout little legs, 'cause, guys, these aren't coconut shells, they're coconut crabs!
Eric: Oh, no!
Brandon: Oh, no!
Julia: Nooo! Alright, Brandon, let's solve that problem. Ready? 3,2,1, go.
Brandon: Rock.
Julia: Scissors. Oh, it's your turn.
Amanda: Ooh. Brandon wins.
Eric: That's a— that's a win, that's a win. Umbi, how does Umbi help?
Brandon: Oh, well— well, now, we’ve got so many problems to deal with.
Julia: So many problems.
Brandon: Well, I think he just like— once he realizes that these coconuts are not coconuts, but indeed are coconut crabs, he just like, you know, lovingly guides them away from the sandcastle and back towards their home, which is underneath and on top of the tree, you know?
Amanda: Brandon, my imagination is a little slow today, it didn't have its coffee yet. What does it—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —sound like as he handles a bunch of snapping crabs?
Brandon: He goes—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ohh, huh, uhh, ohh, ahh, eeh.
Eric: Get on, get on now! Get! Get! Get! Get on!
Amanda: I just pictured Painkiller Larson and Big Jeff running down the beach. That's a— that's a good image.
Julia: That's adorable.
Eric: Hell yeah. Alright, 1-1. Whoever—
Julia: Alright.
Eric: —whoever wins is going to resolve the issue and ask someone else an emotional question. 3,2,1, florp.
Brandon: Scissors.
Julia: Paper.
Eric: Scissors!
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Brandon loves to ask emotional questions.
Julia: That's good.
Eric: Yeah. Alright. Um— how does Umbi ultimately figure all the— all of this out?
Brandon: Well, Eric, it's quite easy, actually.
Eric: Oh, of course.
Brandon: See, this is a comedy of errors, but—
Julia: Uh-huh.
Brandon: —in fact, one of the coconut shells that they got was in fact a coconut and he just goes to the water, and gets a little water, and then make some wet sand.
Julia: Yup. Yup. That makes a lot of sense.
Eric: Good, good.
Amanda: Make some dribble spires on the castle.
Julia: Hmm, classic.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Like, I wouldn't— I wouldn't have thought of that. As— as the panic settles down and the— the Gungan City come real— really comes together, I think Havana says—
Eric (as Havana): I fee— I feel accomplished. I really— I really do. This is nice.
Julia (as Cammie): That's good.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm glad.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Eric: And Umbi, ask Cammie a question.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie?
Julia (as Cammie): Yes?
Brandon (as Umbi): I think now is as good a time as any to do our bi-monthly check-in, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Well, usually we go to the Outback Steakhouse for that, but we could do the Applebee's instead.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I think so. How do you feel about pirate life, you're still enjoying it? You regret anything about your pirate life, about our pirate life, about our situation? Do you want to make any major life changes?
Julia (as Cammie): No. No major life changes at the moment. I do feel a little sad that so many people got hurt, but also accomplished in the way that, like, we took care of those people after they got hurt. Kind of sucks that— that giant monster did take down that stadium and we weren't able to stop it. But, you know, sometimes you're only four people and two creatures made out of silt and algae, and that's the best you can do, you know?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. So you don't— so you still feel okay about leaving your hometown to become a pirate instead of, you know, like a doctor or something?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, that's definitely what happened to me. I definitely left my hometown to become a pirate.
Brandon (as Umbi): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Umbi, you know, that's not what happened to me, right?
Brandon (as Umbi): I know, but we're in the presence of public— public people. I—
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): I don't want— I'm not gonna out you.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, that's fair. Havana is right here. But Havana, I did say I'd be honest with you about that.
Eric (as Havana): This is where the farmers market would go.
Julia: Havana is not paying attention at all. I think Cammie, like, puts a hand on Havana's shoulders like—
Julia (as Cammie): Havana, you know, I didn't leave my hometown to become a pirate, right?
Eric (as Havana): Well, I guess yeah. I guess— yeah, I mean, I assumed, but I don't have super— I don't super have the details, it's all kind of murky. There was a stinky woman who really liked you.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, she kidnapped me because I— after I left my hometown—
Eric (as Havana): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): —I was trying to make money, so I was working in a tavern—
Eric (as Havana): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): —and I was doing tea readings in the tavern. And then she was like, "Wow, you seem really lucky or that you'll bring me a bunch of luck. You're gonna come on this ship with me." And I didn't really have a lot to say about that matter. It just kind of happened. And then I was— I was a— a ship tea witch.
Brandon (as Umbi): When a Greenfolk smells that bad, you just kind of have to go along with it, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. It did knock me out fully the first time. So when I woke up on the ship, we had already, like, been set sail for, like, two days, so—
Brandon (as Umbi): Right.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): So I wasn’t prepared for how casually you were going to talk about your trauma.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. You know, when you approach it casually, it kind of just like makes it easier to deal with.
Eric (as Havana): And even after— and after all this stuff like this, you're— you still want to— want to pi— you still want to pirate, you still want to do it?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, I want to— I want to do good by pirating.
Eric (as Havana): Huh. Huh.
Brandon (as Umbi): So, that's why Cammie doesn't want me to murder.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. We want to do good by pirating. Meaning, we steal stuff and give it to other people who need it, which is sometimes us. Sometimes we need things, and that's okay.
Eric (as Havana): Wow, I never thought of it like that.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): It sounds like morality is more complicated than what I read in those books.
Julia (as Cammie): It is.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda, and welcome to the mid-roll, which today is shaped like the newest bud on an aloe plant. It's like one of the top 10 new leaves, guys, it's so good. Welcome first and foremost to our newest patrons, Leandra, Lavie Bo M., Daniel, Bianca, and Skye. Thank you so much for becoming patrons. Some of you are even annual patrons, which are incredibly helpful for us. And we hope you are enjoying all the benefits that you get being part of the Join the Party Patreon. We do party planning for you. We answer your questions on there, play games, and peel back the curtain on the making of Join the Party. Eric and I are recording one very shortly for this week, and they are so much fun. And, of course, you have access to our patron-only Discord and hundreds and hundreds of old posts of bonus content, and notes, and all kinds of good stuff for previous campaigns. If you want to join, you should. Come on over at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, we are having a ton of fun over on Spirits, which is a show Julia and I do about folklore mythology and the occult. Focusing often on feminism, queerness, modern adulthood, found family, and basically why the stories people tell each other resonate, and why they stick around. If you like all of those world-building and lore aspects of Join the Party, or just hearing us have fun, you will enjoy Spirits. Because every week, Julia tells me a different story about mythology and folklore over drinks that can include things from major franchises, we're wrapping up very shortly a series all about Old Norse Mythology, and we talk often about how that comes up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and whether or not that was true, all the way to roundups of major stories from around the world, and things that will be new to you. We have over 350 episodes over the last 7 years. There's so much to enjoy. So look up Spirits in your podcast app or go to spiritspodcast.com. We are sponsored this week by Ravensburger Jigsaw Puzzles. And I am planning a trip upstate pretty soon to the cabin where my grandma lives, and I am so excited to check out her collection of puzzles. And this is not— I mean, this is an ad, but they don't tell me to say that all of the puzzles in the puzzle closet upstate are from Ravensburger. They are the most high-quality and colorful and beautiful puzzles that are out there. And if you want to invest in cool, excellent high-quality puzzles that'll stand the test of time, you gotta do Ravensburger. They have all kinds of images, themes, piece counts. There's one for kids, there's ones for families, there's ones for adults. There's ones that go up to 40,000 pieces, can you believe that? If you're up for the challenge of solving some of these Ravensburger Jigsaw Puzzles, check your local game, or hobby store, or Amazon today. That's Ravensburger Jigsaw Puzzles. Finally, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, sometimes in life, we're faced with tough choices, and we're not really sure how to handle it. Something that I've been learning in therapy over the last few years is how to deal with those situations, what I can kind of turn to when it feels like I'm not sure where to go or I have no options. What would my values lead me to do? What will be better for myself in the world? What will give me more choices and not less? These are things that I can always apply to whatever situation I'm in, especially when the choice feels overwhelming. And if you need to access therapy online near you, if you want to try therapy and you're not sure what that would be like, if you can't safely access therapy in person near you, consider BetterHelp. It's entirely online and designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. betterhelp.com/jointheparty. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Hey, Umbis.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah?
Eric: Do you want to do a scene with another character? Eric Silver and the NPCs are unlocked again.
Julia and Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Yeah. So you can choose to do with me, but Julia, you cannot do one with— with Cammie.
Julia: But you can do it with Troy.
Eric: You can do it with Troy.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think I do want to do it with Troy.
Julia: Do it.
Amanda: Wells, the bartender.
Julia: I like that you did that in character, where you're like, "I do want to do it with Troy."
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, he said, "Hey, Umbi." Not, "Hey, Brandon."
Julia: Yeah, that's true.
Brandon (as Umbi): So I got to do, you know?
Eric: Oh, okay. Now, we're being really, really on top of character voices. Okay, got it. I understand. Sure.
Amanda: No one looked at me.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, Brandon, who do you want to do a scene with?
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy.
Eric: Troy.
Brandon: I mean, sorry. [clears throat] Troy.
Eric: Alright, Troy. Amanda, pick the beachy activity that Troy and Umbi get up to.
Amanda: We are going to collect sea glass along the shoreline.
Julia: Yes. I was hoping someone would do that.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Dig it.
Eric: Yeah. Tell me about your characters’ vibes. Tell me— yeah, tell me what— what—how are y'all feeling? What are you doing?
Brandon: I think— before you go, Amanda, I think Umbi's sort of— just sort of like trailing— you know, like when you walk with your dad or someone who's, like, not very talkative, and they're like, "Uh-hmm. Yup."
Amanda: Just men doing parallel activities, not looking at each other, but instead looking at something else.
Julia: Right.
Brandon: Yup. And so instead of having to try to find something to say, Umbi's just picking up sea glass and being like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Blue.
Julia (as Cammie): That's a rare one.
Brandon (as Umbi): Green. Oh, a yellow.
Eric: So is this good, or is this neutral, or ba— or bad?
Brandon: You tell me.
Eric: What's the vibe? Oh, who can say? You'll never know.
Amanda: Alright. Troy can navigate this. He has lots of experience with untalkative relatives. So as they're— as they're walking, he's collecting a few things. Maybe there's like a— a bottle—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ooh, a bottle.
Amanda: —worn down, cloudy, you know, from all the— all the sea and sand.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: And Troy picks it up, and turns around, and says—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, could you use this for, like, potions and stuff?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh. Hey, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah?
Brandon (as Umbi): Good job. I could definitely use that—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, thanks.
Brandon (as Umbi): —for potions and stuff.
Amanda (as Troy): Um, real quick, just before you take it from me, how— what are your emotions like?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): What are your emotions like? Right now, just like what are they like?
Eric: Hold on, I think that's the low st— the small, low stakes wacky problem. Let's start—let's— let's start playing rock, paper scissors.
Amanda: Alright. Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, reveal.
Brandon: Paper!
Amanda: Two papers.
Julia: Tie. I'm going to escalate because I had an idea already.
Brandon: Please.
Amanda: Do it.
Julia: So, like, Troy asks Umbi like, "What are your emotions like right now?" And just as Umbi is about to start talking and maybe answer that question, the Applebee shows up and he's like, "Hey, man, like what's up? I got these free samplers for you. Like, I figured I wanted to try something besides just the sandwiches. So they're like—"
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, thank God.
Brandon (as Umbi): No way.
Julia: "—they're like jalapeno poppers, except they're not—
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Julia: —jalapeno poppers because I can't think of a thing that would be the jalapeno in a jalapeno popper.”
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Julia: “But would you like to try one right now and stuff your faces with these jalapenos?”
Brandon: Umbi eats 17 of them.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda (as Troy): Wow. I— I will have one.
Eric: Alright. Do rock, paper, scissors.
Amanda: Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, reveal.
Brandon: Rock!
Amanda: Oh, two rocks!
Julia: Oh, my God.
Brandon: Goddammit.
Eric: And it escalates. And as soon as they both swallow all of the jalapeno poppers, and Umbi— and Umbi goes, "Um”, you see a father and son walked by and said, 'Well, I've never had such a good relationship with my father figure in my life. The cat is certainly not in the cradle with the silver spoon.'"
Amanda: Oh, boy.
Julia: [sing Cat’s in the Cradle] When you coming home, dad? I don't know when. But we'll get together then.
Eric: Good thing that's not happening to us in our life.
Amanda: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Brandon: Rock.
Amanda: Goddammit.
Brandon: God fucking damn it.
Amanda: No!
Julia: At this point, Havana Tropicana shows up and is just like—
Julia (as Havana): Uh, guys, like, you know how I had to pull some sea glass out of Umbi before, uh—
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): You did?
Julia (as Havana): Umbi, you having some like PTSD about that?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, well, I wasn't until now.
Eric: Alright. No more escalation. We're skipping ties. Another rock, paper, scissors.
Amanda: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Brandon: Rock.
Amanda: Paper.
Brandon: Okay, Ama— one win for Amanda.
Eric: One win for Amanda.
Amanda: Yeah. Troy is going to drop everything he's holding, including— including the jalapeno popper, which the coconut crabs scuttles up to grab, and then bites it, and then you see little like Looney Tunes, like, scene come out of it ears because it's a little bit spicy.
Julia: Adorable. Truly adorable.
Amanda: And Troy places both of his hands on Umbi's shoulders, and looks deep in his eyes, and then leans their foreheads to where their foreheads just touch. And he says—
Amanda (as Troy): Umbi, I too am shaken and what I now learn is called guilty about what had happened at Small Key Island. But I gotta tell you, I think you did everything you could. I don't think you could have done anything to prevent all this stuff from happening. Is that what you're worried about?
Brandon: Eric, do I answer, do we keep going?
Eric: No, you keep going.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Rock, paper— yeah, rock, paper, scissors. Unless you want to concede.
Brandon: I don't want to concede. Let's go, baby.
Amanda: Let's keep going. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, no, I figured you would— I figured you wouldn’t.
Julia: Brandon's like, "Fuck that. I want to win! I want to win this game of emotions!"
Amanda: Okay. Are you ready, Brandon?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Rock, paper, scissors, reveal.
Brandon: Paper.
Amanda: Scissors cut paper.
Eric: Oh, that's 2-0!
Julia: Too bad, Brandon, you're gonna have to be emotionally available in roleplay.
Eric: Yeah, that just— that's just sweep here, so, Troy, you can double down.
Amanda: Yeah, Troy brings his hands from Umbi's shoulders to the sides of his face, cupping them around his eyes, making a little tunnel in between Umbi's eyes and Troy's eyes.
Julia: That's fucking insane.
Amanda: So in our little tunnel with— with Troy's hands around our eyes, he says—
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, I really— I think of you as my grandpa, and if— if you don't want me to be your grandson anymore, what because of the lying and the losing like I— I kind of understand, but I also like— I sort of need to know that, because I am— I don't— you know, I don't want to like be here, kind of like around you guys, if—if you guys don't want me around anymore. But also if you're mad at me and you want to, like, punch me, like that would be fine. Like, just do a one or two times and then, like, you kind of got— like— like that's happened sometimes at basic where, like, you just— you get a couple of hits in and— and they call it shaking out your Jimmies because once there was a guy called Jimmy and he had to just, like, shake it out real mu— a lot and then— um, and then— but afterward, he was fine, because you shook it out. It— it's important to shake out your Jimmies sometimes.
Eric: What is the question?
Amanda (as Troy): Do you— do you want me to be your mate still?
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah?
Brandon (as Umbi): We're pirates. We lie all the fucking time.
Amanda (as Troy): But I thought maybe it was like a thing where we did not lie to each other.
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, we try to, but as a pirate— as one pirate to another pirate—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —if there's one thing we can for— if there's two things we can forgive, it's lying and— well, three things, lying—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): —stealing—
Julia: Well, four things.
Brandon (as Umbi): —stealing, and murder. And then I look at Cammie.
Julia: Cammie's just like in the middle of the sandcastle that they built already, like with little shells that she's pretending are people being like—
Julia (as Cammie): It's a wonderful day. Do you want to go to the farmers market with me?
Brandon (as Umbi): But, of course, I want— of course, I want you to be my mate. That's a silly— silly question. But I do need to ask if I can/we can take advantage of this situation in what you have put us in order to do good, and do pirate good at the same time?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): You are, in fact, royal.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Which, like, never quite heard of a royal pirate, but like that could be your brand, you know?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I'm not the best sharpshooter on the open sea anymore, that's for sure.
Brandon (as Umbi): For now—
Amanda (as Troy): But— yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —we can—we can get back to that. We could just— we could do a one-on-one with Kid Cervantes but like the Pirate—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —Prince, that's your brand now.
Amanda (as Troy): Sure. Yeah. No, I mean, I kind of, like, gave up all my privileges when I left. But, yeah, we can— we can do whatever. I do just want to be clear, I would be pretty sad if you murdered someone I— I liked, so maybe let's just put murder on the, like, let's discuss it between us board.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, I wouldn't murder someone you like.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Alright. But before we finish, could you just, like, tell me what are your emotions doing right now? What are they, like, named and what do they smell like?
Brandon (as Umbi): What are they named and what do they smell like?
Julia: What do they smell like?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. If— if you can, like, think of any words, that helps me sometimes.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Amanda (as Troy): Like oh, that feels really spicy in there like a bad tum.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I guess my emotions right now— like, imagine if I were a barrel, right?
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-huh. Oh, this is great already.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Like, imagine I had some like, sort of like, carbonated beverage in my tum.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): And it was also sloshing around, you know?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's like— it's like, already uncomfortable because, like, the carbonation—
Amanda (as Troy): Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): —is like pressure. But then like as it sloshes, the sloshing action makes it worse, and also releases—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —more carbon dioxide out of the liquid so, like—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): —makes the extra pressure more.
Amanda (as Troy): Now, barrels famously watertight, even though they are just made of wood, pretty amazing, but—
Brandon (as Umbi): Exactly.
Amanda (as Troy): —no— no room for things to get out.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Um, so—
Amanda (as Troy): So what's your bunghole?
Julia: What's up?
Amanda (as Troy): What do you— what do you need? Just a little— like a little pressure release, what— to let out the bad gasses.
Eric: Amanda is the funniest–
Amanda: Your bunghole.
Eric: —person in Dungeons and Dragons.
Julia: It's— that's true. That's fucking true.
Amanda: Thank you.
Julia: Eric? Absolutely true.
Eric: Absolutely true.
Amanda: I'm just really eking out my tight 15 on barrels.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I'm gonna— I mean, like stealing something would definitely help, right?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, that's a good bunghole.
Brandon (as Umbi): But like— yeah, I'm going to— we're gonna have to do something— like we're gonna have to get a win as a crew, you know?
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think if we do get a win as a crew, we'll be back to— be back to normal. But—
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): In the meantime—
Amanda (as Troy): Or else all— all the fizzies get way too much.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): I would love to maybe discuss how we could use your privilege as a prince—
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-huh.
Brandon (as Umbi): —in order to maybe, you know, put some pressure on the different cities, counties, places to, like, deal with the water shortage and not just, like, turn a blind eye to it.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): You know, maybe actually do some good as a pirate.
Amanda (as Troy): That sounds ideal, really.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think that's— yeah.
Brandon: And then I hit Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, it feels good, right? It feels— it feels kind of good.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: And then Umbi's like—
Brandon (as Umbi): Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Amanda: And they limp back, Troy gathering all the sea glass that he dropped as— as Umbi cradles his hand.
Eric: Incredible. Hey, it's my turn, and I'm—
Julia: Oh.
Eric: —going to pick my good friend Julia.
Julia: Hey!
Eric: Because I'm Eric, I'm the DM. I'm going to change this— I'm gonna—
Julia: You're the DM, what the fuck?
Amanda: What?
Eric: I'm the D—
Julia: Since when?
Eric: I know. It's— I've— I'm— I've been--
Amanda: Is that why you wear one glove?
Eric: Yeah, that's why I'm wearing one glove. This is gonna be later— this is gonna be— gonna be later on in the day, so I'm going to set the beach activity—
Julia: Great.
Eric: —and the small stakes—and the small stakes wacky problem that Cammie will be involved in, because I'm introducing an— an NPC.
Julia: I'll allow it.
Eric: Later on in the day, as you've all had time to frolic, and bake in the sun, and eat the jalapeno poppers, and keep the crabs and the guava fish away from your stuff. The—
Amanda: There's guava fish, too?
Julia: Oh, shit.
Amanda: Damn.
Julia: They also scream, but it's underwater, so you don't hear it as well.
[Bubbling high-pitched scream]
Eric: Yeah. I think that everyone else is in the water. They're playing water football.
Julia: Adorable. That's so cute.
Eric: They're just throwing a coconut crab to each other in the water.
Julia: Hmm. And they're like, "Watch your fingies."
Eric: Yeah, yeah. And, Cammie, that's when you hear—
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Oh, my God, what an incredible spot.
Eric: And you look up, and glinting in the light is a blade attached to some carrot greens. You look up and you see Lucky Edie with bikini top on and, like, cargo shorts.
Amanda: A good look, I'm not gonna lie.
Julia: What a— what a early 2000s lesbian that is.
Eric: Yeah, just one-arming a bunch of Tommy Bahama chair and— and has a— and a big towel, as she walks up. And, Cammie, you have the opportunity to make sure that she doesn't fuck up your beach day.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, Edie. Um, you know what? I just— like, the sun is setting. We've had a really good run here today at the beach, but like the big crab is going to come out pretty soon, so you might not want to, like, hang out in this space, just like a fair warning. I know that you're fairly new to the Hold because you didn't even know about the secret beach, so I'm just concerned that you might get fully eaten by a crab.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Oh, you know, I'm actually like a late beach person. I come to the beach starting at 3:00, and then I'd stay through the night. And, you know, usually the crab doesn't know about the secret beach, so it's actually fine, but I would love to know more.
Julia (as Cammie): Hey!
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Are— are all of you here? I'd love to know more. You were incredible at— in the Bullseye Games.
Julia (as Cammie): Hey— no, sorry, Edie, I just want to like clarify something really quick. How did you, like, just say like, "Oh, my God. This spot is amazing," and also say that you know about the secret beach, because that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. That seems like you're making— making shit up.
Brandon: It's hilarious to me that the cr— it's secret to even the crab.
Eric: That's how secret it is. That's how good of a beach it is, Brandon. The crab doesn't even know about it.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric: It'd be like—
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Oh, I mean, I —yeah, I have heard. I— you know, Troy— you know, Troy must have said something about it.
Julia (as Cammie): No, he didn't.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): I mean, he must have. That’s why I know about it, so—
Julia (as Cammie): No, I'm pretty sure that's not true.
Eric: Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, Julia.
Julia: Bitch.
Eric: Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Scissors.
Julia: Damn it.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Fuck, I put paper.
Eric: Alright. Lucky— Lucky Edie is like—
Eric (as Lucky Edie): No, Troy must have told me. Hi, Troy.
Eric: She waves to Troy in the water.
Julia: Cammie makes eye contact with Troy and is like— [angry groan]
Amanda: Troy looks up, the sun glints off her sword arm, and he just, like, puts his hand to his forehead like, "Who's over there?" But it looks kind of like a wave.
Eric: And, like, Lucky Edie is like—
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Oh, well, you were all so good at the Bullseye Games, Troy did so well. Real tough, really tough, the whole thing with the stadium, but I mean, I had so much fun. I met so many people. It was incredible and you all— you all did so well.
Julia (as Cammie): It seemed like you had a great opportunity to network since you weren't actually invited to compete in the game.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): You're right. I networked. I have all these business cards.
Eric: And she shows you 20 business cards.
Julia (as Cammie): Amazing. That's great. Hopefully, a lot of those people survived the accident.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): I hope so. Yeah, I hope so. That's why I wear these cargo pants so I can take them out when I— these cargo shorts, so I can take them out whenever I want.
Julia (as Cammie): Amazing. That's fantastic for you, and not a great fashion choice, otherwise. Very practical.
Eric: One-- alright. 1— 1-0. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Julia: Rock.
Eric: Ooh, rock? I got scissors. You got me, 1-1. How does Cammie respond?
Julia: What is she holding again? So she's got her Tommy Bahama chair and a towel.
Eric: She has a chair and her towel. That's pretty— that's it.
Julia: Cool. That chair is going to Scurry.
Brandon: Yay!
Amanda: Love it.
Julia: So, it is going to sprout legs and run away. It animates, wriggles free from its owner and moves 20 feet in a direction that you choose, which is away from me and back towards where the entrance to the secret beach is.
Brandon: Yay!
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Why— why is it doing that? Tommy Bahama, they shouldn't— I didn't know that there was any ability for it to change like that.
Julia (as Cammie): That's wild. You don't want to lose that. It's probably really expensive.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): It was, but I actually got it on sale.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, well, you know what?
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Because it was from— I got it from— from Orello who was on— on the sea, so it was on sail. Get it?
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Oh, that's— that's so funny. Oh, my God. Well, you probably want it, so— you know?.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): I have— I mean, but I can just borrow one of your— I can sit on one— one of— one of your towels or something.
Julia (as Cammie): No, I don't think you can.
Eric: Alright. Last one, last one. Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Julia: Shoot.
Eric: Rock! No, Julia, got paper, no!
Julia: Ooh. Suck it!
Eric: Alright. Deliver the final blow, Julia, and you can ask some questions of Lucky Edie as well.
Julia: Okay. I think the final blow is just gonna be, like— the Applebee's guy is like—
Julia (as Wells): [PA System] Uh, can the owner of this Tommy Bahama chair come get it? It is trying to eat all the jalapeno poppers.
Julia: Cammie goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, well, it seems like you have to leave.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): I— I guess so. Well, I mean, I just wanted to catch up, but I guess if we— if we can't, I gotta— I have to go deal with this.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, you know what, Edie? I'm glad you had a great time at the games. That's very nice. But it seems like a lot of times, you're just trying to initiate a conversation with me in order to brag about how good the things in your life are going, and that doesn't seem very nice at all. So unless you have, genuinely, something nice that you want to say, or actually, like, legitimately want to inquire about how we're doing as a crew, and not just like how you can gain from our gains, I would appreciate if we didn't initiate those conversations anymore. Okay?
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Well, it seems like we have two different definitions of being nice.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): Bye. I'm gonna go get my chair.
Julia (as Cammie): Bye! I hope the chair doesn't sprout legs and run away from you again.
Eric (as Lucky Edie): It's already doing it!
Julia: And it'll keep doing it, bitch.
Brandon: Could the— could the chair, like, hold your body weight? Like, if you were on a beach and you had a chair that could scuttle—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —could you just like scuttle with the shade as it goes along?
Julia: Potentially.
Amanda: Sounds ideal.
Eric: I think so.
Brandon: That'd be tight.
Eric: I would— I want that.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: I want that.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: But it does specifically say that it wriggles free of its owner so it might not—
Brandon: Just knocks your ass off every time.
Amanda: Someone else could get on.
Julia: It's truly like one of those things where it's like riding a mechanical bull.
Eric: Hmm. Incredible. And, yeah, Lucky Edie stalks after her chair.
Julia: Oh, get it? 'Cause she's a carrot?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. She stalks after her chair and it's scuttling back into the island proper. So Lucky Edie is not bothering any more of this beach day.
Julia: I did it.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: Yay.
Julia: I'm the real winner of this episode.
Brandon: In a decade, we hear a tell of the legend of the wild feral scuttling chair that lives in the forest outside the Hold.
Amanda: It's the general of the guava birds, yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: We also— we didn't talk about what kind of Greenfolk Tommy Bahama is, and I think it's a bird of paradise, right?
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Ooh.
Julia: Or like a hibiscus.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Yeah, definitely— definitely a big ostentatious flower for sure.
Julia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Hey, how's everyone feeling after this beach day?
Amanda: Cheese parrot in paradise. I'm feeling good. Feeling better.
Julia: [singing] Cheese parrot in paradise.
Amanda: We let out some of our fizzies, what is called burping. Do it, like, for emotions.
Eric: Emotional burping.
Julia: We emotionally burped, you know?
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Umbi, how do you feel?
Brandon (as Umbi): Flat. I'm all out of burps now.
Amanda: Oh shit.
Julia: Oh nice.
Eric: As— if Umbi can put his emotionality towards political action, it's fine.
Brandon: I will say, you know how you see an older gentleman at the beach that has just so many muscles?
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: And is oiled and beautifully bronzed, that is Umbi after beach day, by the way.
Eric: Oh, sure. Real old man strength in there. I mean, that's literally one of your proficiencies.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: Well, instead of muscles, it's wrinkles, but he's got so many wrinkles and they're so beautifully bronzed—
Eric: It looks cut, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: —and oiled, yeah.
Eric: I think that you've already said that you're in one of those, like, big old-timey bathing suits too.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So you look like a strong man from the 1920s.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Exactly. This one's leopard print.
Amanda: Cute.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: I love that for you.
Brandon: Thank you.
Eric: Incredible. Alright. Well, now, you could— you can push on through the invisible barrier keeping you from the Hold and you can turn— we can go to the skill tree.
Brandon and Amanda: Yay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Bye, Applebee.
Julia (as Cammie): Bye, Applebee.
Brandon (as Umbi): See you soon.
Julia (as Cammie): I still like your butt.
Eric (as Wells): Remember, keep it secret or my whole way of life will be meaningless.
Julia: This is just Paul Rudd in Saving Sarah Marshall, right?
Eric: Oh, a 100— a 100%.
Julia: Or Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Eric (as Wells): What's up? I'm Kunu. I don't wear a watch anymore, because it's on my phone.
Eric: Yeah. Incredible. Alright. Well, now, we can— and since this is a downtime episode, we can turn in some of your XP and your Amber for things on the skill tree, just to double-check. I've updated it since the last time we've the— we've been there. So you can see with the Doctor, Doctor branch, so the other three subclasses are eliminated now, but you can— I've now opened something else up called Study Up, which has a prerequisite where if you find a mentor for Havana and you choose to accept this one, Havana can, in fact, continue his religious study.
Brandon: Interesting.
Julia: Can I be the mentor?
Eric: You cannot be the mentor.
Julia: Damn. Alright.
Eric: Havana is gonna have to, like, go somewhere and be on the sidelines for a little while.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Eric: No, no. Like actually go somewhere like—
Julia (as Cammie): I don't want to send our son away.
Eric: Then don't level him up. Keep him at level two.
Julia: I'm just teasing.
Eric: This is totally up to you, you totally can. Reminder, dig and roll, you've already done a four which was nothing. But all of the other five sides of the D6 are still there. Remember, you can still do the Magnolia Network, which is where you grow some home designers who can improve the buildings here on the Hold. Lords of the Manor, if you think that you want to exercise some power here. Monster Wrangler, of course, which will open up the ability to roll and try to be friends with the crab. The Puts and Puppets Pirate Palladium, which you can formally kind of invest some time in. You already have Ship Shape, but you can do level two, which will turn up the attack, HP, or give bonuses to Harold, specifically for ship combat. And then you could always do backstories for Aubergine, the restaurant guy, Applebee, and whoever. You can kind of unlock some stuff there.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: As always, you have to use your XP now, but you have two Amber that you can decide to sit on or not.
Brandon: Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Julia: So we already gave Orello a thing last skill tree episode.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: So would we all be happy with getting one Amber each or one XP each to choose our skill tree of choice?
Amanda: I would.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: I dig.
Eric: Oh, you're gonna use all your Amber, nice.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Whoa.
Julia: That's fine. I can always get more.
Eric: Yeah, we'll see.
Brandon: Julia just did a— a secretive shimmy.
Julia: Yes, yes.
Eric: I think Ju— Julia is so turnt up after dealing with Lucky Edie.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I also know that I can get Amber now, so I—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: I'm like on that Amber patrol. What I would like to do, and I want to do it before Brandon gets an option, I'd like to dig and roll, please.
Brandon: Goddammit, Julia!
Eric: Whoa!
Amanda: Whoa!
Eric: Alright. Let's see what happens. So dig and roll, Cammie is gonna go out and dig around on Hold Island.
Julia: Cammie was having so much fun on the beach doing some sand castles and digging. She's like—
Julia (as Cammie): I never do this. Let's try it.
Eric: Does anyone else want to dig and roll?
Amanda: Not me.
Brandon: Nope.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: No? Alright. So we got 1, 2, 3, 5, and 6, give me a D6 roll, Julia.
Julia: [dice roll] A one.
Eric: A one.
Julia: Applebottom jeans, boots with the fur.
Julia and Brandon: With the fur!
Eric: Alright. That is one. Cammie, where are you digging?
Julia: I think that Cammie, as a way of helping Havana Tropicana, is actually digging out more of his cave/doctor's office.
Eric: That's right.
Julia: So he has little more space, you know—
Amanda: Yes!
Julia: —to, like, maybe set up a bed to do treatments for people.
Eric: Hmm. Okay.
Julia: And so Cammie's gonna dig inside of Havana's little cave area.
Eric (as Havana): I can't help you. I have to keep my hands callus-free. That was the main thing I learned at doctor school.
Julia (as Cammie): That's alright. I am happy to do it and Nonny's here to help.
[Nonny burbles]
Eric: Like a dog, a little dog digging.
Amanda: Adorable.
Julia: So cute.
Amanda: Front two legs, move it to the back of two legs, move it to the next two legs, move it out.
Julia: Cammie also like— when she's out, but like Cammie doesn't want her to have to like, I don't know, worry about keeping herself nice and moist.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Cammie, like, shapes water into a ball around Nonny, so that she could, like, toddle her way through.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric: That feels like a spacewalk suit, you know?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I love that.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: It's kind of funny.
Julia: It's cute.
Eric: And I think that that's when you hear an— underneath Nonny, you hear bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. She's hitting something hard.
Julia (as Cammie): What you got there, girl?
Eric: You— as you move some of the dirt out of the way, it's a treasure chest!
Julia (as Cammie): Wow.
Eric: And it is humming with energy.
Julia: Humming?
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: What is the energy smell like Eric?
Eric: Oh, you know what it smells like? It smells like a thunderstorm is about to come.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, so cool, petrichor and ozone.
Julia: Cammie's gonna lift the— the lid and see what's inside.
Eric: Inside, you see there is a whip.
Julia: Oh!
Eric: It is coiled in on itself. The handle of the whip has an eel's mouth—
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: —carved into the handle, and you see that it is covered with blue green algae.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Whoa. Is it an electric eel?
Eric: And— and it's thrumming with electricity.
Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Julia Schifini.
Julia: What do I got?
Eric: Come on down. This is when Eric Silver gives you items.
Julia: Yay!
Eric: This is the sea eel whip.
Julia: Oh, my God. Amazing. Tell me about it.
Brandon: The seeeeal whip, is that what you're saying? Like S—
Eric: Yeah, this is the seeeal whip.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: This magic whip hums with electricity. It has four charges and regains all expended charges daily at dawn.
Julia: Nice.
Eric: When you hit a creature with the whip, you can expand one or more of its charges to deal an extra one D6 lightning damage to that creature for each charge you spent.
Julia: Whoa.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric: If you use it underwater, you don't get any disadvantages. And if you hit an underwater creature with this whip, it automatically takes one D6 lightning damage, but then on top of that, you could add the charges.
Brandon: Cool. Cool.
Julia: And it does, I imagine, whip damage so like one D4?
Eric: Correct. It also has the properties of a whip, one D4, you use Dex and it has reach, so you can actually hit something 10 feet away, because it's a whip.
Julia: Now, Eric—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: —I have a stupid shenanigans question.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Can Nonny use the whip?
Eric: What's— what is— what's Nonny's Dex?
Julia: Pretty high, I think, actually. Hold on.
Brandon: I mean, she's got like eight limbs or whatever.
Amanda: It's like I always say about my cousins, Brandon, when you’ve got 30 of them, some of them are gonna be good. You know what I mean?
Julia: Nonny's Dex is plus 2.
Eric: Right. And— and Nonny is an octopus?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: I mean, that's the same as my Dex. So if I can handle the whip—
Amanda: Same.
Brandon: —then I think Nonny could too.
Julia: I just had a fucking buck wild idea.
Amanda: Can't wait.
Eric: Well, you know, it's interesting. I mean, I'm looking at carrying capacity, what's— what's Nonny's strength?
Julia: It's not good.
Eric: What is— yeah, what is it?
Julia: It's negative three.
Eric: Negative— what does that— you know what it is in numbers?
Julia: 4.
Eric: 4.
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Eric: Yeah, I mean, it seems like Nonny— so for each point of strength, you can carry—
Julia: Hold on, I— hold on, I have a fucking insane thing that I’d like to do.
Eric: No, no, it— this— this works. If— so you multiply it by 15, so it's 15 times 4 is 60. Because it's medium and small, that's just regular. For a tiny creature, you have these weights. But for small, it's just regular. So Nonny theoretically can hold up to 60 pounds— can carry up to 60 pounds.
Julia: Whoa!
Brandon: That's a strong octopus.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Um. Eric?
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Julia: Even if we don't want to do that, I have a spell—
Eric: Okay.
Julia: —called Benign Dismemberment.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Can I attach the whip as a tentacle for Nonny?
Eric: I mean, the answer is yes, right?
Julia: Well— okay. So hold on. Let me—I was just trying to find the spell itself, so give me one second.
Eric: Is that in Val— it’s in Valda's?
Julia: It's in Valda's, yeah.
Brandon: Eric, my— my internet sleuthing has— has uncovered that each limb of an octopus can lift somewhere between 5 and 30 pounds depending on how big it is.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: In reality?
Julia: Wow.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Okay, okay. Here's Benign Dismemberment.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: The duration is an hour, but— so for the duration of willing targets body parts can be harmlessly severed from its body, takes no damage from such dismemberment as long as the cut removing the body part is swift and clean.
Eric: Okay. Here's what— here's what I'm going to say, at the beginning of every day, if you want the whip attached to Nonny, you will need to use the spell slot for Benign Dismemberment. However—
Julia: Oh, sorry. The last thing I want to say, I was just finding the part that I wanted to do.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: At the end of the duration, severed body parts become permanent and the target dies if vital organs have not been reattached to its head. So, if I do not put the limb back at the end of the hour, it's permanently detached, which means I can benignly dismember Nonny, and then potentially sew that whip on there?
Eric: Well, it's in the— well, it's in the—
Julia: Is that— is that too crazy?
Eric: No, I don't think so.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I don't think that's too crazy. I mean—
Amanda: I mean, I think if she's lost, then it might be lost, you know?
Eric: Yeah, I think that's what it is. If it's attached to Nonny, the same— I think— okay. So then never mind, the answer is yes, you can do that. However, as Amanda said and as we've already seen, if Nonny goes down to zero hit points—
Julia: And poofs.
Eric: —and poofs, then the whip is vulnerable.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: So, yeah, you can attach the whip to Nonny.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Fuck yeah, dude. Which tentacle is it?
Brandon: Let's go.
Eric: I will say, though, it is now up to Nonny when Nonny uses the ch— when Nonny uses the charges.
Amanda: That's true.
Julia: Yup.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yup.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Yup.
Eric: Cool. Cool. Cool.
Amanda: Damn.
Eric: Cool.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Cool, cool, cool.
Julia: Hey, Eric?
Eric: Yeah?
Julia: Thank you.
Eric: No problem, dawg. Hey, what do y'all want to do with your stuff?
Amanda: So that's happening.
Eric: So Nonny— we're gonna bi— we're gonna bio hack Nonny really quickly, and that's gonna happen.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. Uh, Troy has had a bit of an experience watching a huge structure crumble down around him, harming and probably killing people. He's not thinking about it too hard.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So he is going to unlock the Magnolia Network.
Julia: Magnolia Network!
Eric: Wow. Hell yeah.
Amanda: He needs to improve something and build it up.
Eric: I like that. Hey, Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): What up?
Eric: You—
Amanda (as Troy): You know about barrels?
Eric: What?
Amanda (as Troy): You know about barrels?
Eric: What about barrels?
Amanda (as Troy): They're tight.
Eric: Thank you, Troy. I appreciate that.
Amanda (as Troy): Yes.
Eric: Troy, for a long time, you've had a weird packet of flower seeds on you. Where'd you get them?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. I woke up with them in my pocket one time after Orello visited us. And he said that he needed to inspect something in our, like, quarters. And then I said, "Cool." And then he said he wanted to go to the hot tub. And I said, "Alright, man." And then he said, "I'm just gonna leave my stuff here." And I said, "I'm going to sleep at 5:00." And then when I woke up the next morning, Orello wasn't there, his stuff was gone, and there was a weird packet of seeds in my pocket.
Eric: Orello just left you some seeds in your pocket.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: For sure. Yeah. You know what, Troy? If you want to work it out, if you want to feel like you accomplished something, you feel compelled to plant those seeds.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Troy is gonna walk up to the communal garden down in the— the center of the whole—
Julia: I forgot about that we have a communal garden. I love that.
Amanda: We do. Where the, like, lovely kind of shaft of sunlight comes in through the top of the dormant volcano structure. And there's, like, a lovely little well-tended wild garden, some medicinal herbs, there's some food, there are some, like, hemp seeds for making nice ropes and things like that. And he's gonna carve out a little corner and run his, you know, his hand through the soil to make a little furrow, and give each seed a little kiss before dropping it in the furrow, covering it up with soil, and patting it, and saying good night.
Julia: Man, we love giving things little kisses before we do stuff with them.
Brandon: That's the secret to growth, Julia.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, you got to—
Brandon: That's how you get the good tomatoes.
Julia: I kiss every tomato.
Eric: You got to—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, you— you just need to. Troy, the next day, you go back out to the garden and you see two incredibly tall, like the size of sunflowers, massive magnolia flowers.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Eric: That have incredibly traditionally attractive faces.
Julia: Troy's a father, everyone. Troy's a father!
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, were you guys, like, sleeping in those seats the whole time?
Eric (as Chip): We were just ready for someone to give us an opportunity to flip these houses. I'm Chip and this is my better half, Joanna.
Eric (as Joanna): Hi, I'm the pretty one.
Amanda (as Troy): Hi, nice to meet you, Joanna.
Julia: She is beautiful.
Amanda (as Troy): Chip, your— your face a little bit like untraditional, but I like it.
Eric (as Chip): That's what makes me stand out.
Eric (as Joanna): I'm still the pretty one.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. No. Great. I mean, wow. Hi, can I help you? Like, sorry if this is rude, but do you guys want to, like, stay planted there or do you want to, like, get out of there?
Eric (as Chip): Yeah, we're still growing, but eventually these buildings definitely need some work being done to them.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. No. I just— I want to make stuff better for people around here, so— I mean, that'll be amazing.
Eric (as Chip): And you know what the best way to do that is?
Amanda (as Troy): No.
Eric (as Chip): Add a sunroom.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh.
Julia (as Cammie): That's true.
Julia: Cammie walks by—
Julia (as Cammie): That's true.
Eric (as Joanna): And also crown molding and also shiplap.
Julia: Shiplap.
Amanda (as Troy): What is shiplap?
Eric (as Joanna): Great question. It's where you take a piece of—it's where you take a piece of a ship and you put it in a building.
Amanda (as Troy): But why wouldn't— why would you use it in the building and not on the ship?
Eric (as Chip): That's for us to know and for you to enjoy.
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, okay. Yeah. No.
Eric (as Joanna): I'm the pretty one.
Amanda (as Troy): Great to meet you, ma'am.
Eric (as Joanna): For sure. Sorry, I already have a hubby.
Eric (as Chip): That's me. She's my better half.
Amanda (as Troy): What's a hubby?
Eric (as Joanna): Exactly. Well, eventually, we're gonna grow up, and we're gonna start working on these buildings. Thanks for helping us out, Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks for hanging out in my pocket for several months.
Eric (as Joanna and Chip): It was the max!
Eric: And they stare at the camera.
Amanda (as Troy): What? Okay.
Amanda: And Troy like backs up, maintaining eye contact, around the corner, and then runs away. Yay!
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Yay.
Eric: So Chip and Joanna Magnolia are gonna work on the buildings and improve them. They're gonna be a little bit sturdier the next time that you come back.
Amanda: Bless.
Julia: Yay.
Eric: Everything's gonna have a matte shine to it.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Yeah matte black fixtures, yup.
Eric: Yeah, it's all gonna have that lightning.
Amanda: Eric, this is an incredible game.
Eric: Thanks— thanks.
Julia: Very go—hey, bud, very good.
Eric: It's just a joke that I'm— that we’re literalizing through gameplay.
Julia: Wee!
Eric: Brandon, hey, Brandon! You got one piece of Amber left, what do you want to do with it, bud?
Brandon: Well, Eric, follow me along this journey.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: Please.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: The camera is going to slowly pan through the Hold—
Eric: I hate it when you steal the camera from my—
Amanda: Stop stealing the camera from Eric.
Eric: You go into my apartment, and take the camera, and then take it somewhere that I have to follow you like a serial killer.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. So it's slowly going through the Hold from first-person perspective. We see Chip and Joanna working on some stuff. You see people buying and selling. And then we go into a nondescript building where the camera floats through the window and you suddenly start to hear just very beautiful classical piano music, it's very calming. And it lands upon a candlelit table, where you see Umbis in his finest tails, waiting for his dinner companion.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: We wait a few minutes, but eventually, the door to the restaurant, to the Outback Steakhouse opens.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Finally.
Brandon: Opens, and in walks a mysterious character not revealed by the candlelight until they finally reach the table, and sit down across from Umbis.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: And that dinner companion, Eric?
Eric: Yeah?
Brandon: Is Aubergine.
Amanda: Yay!
Julia: How dare you seduce my NPC who is my best friend?
Brandon: You take my fucking dig and roll, I take your Aubergine, Julia.
Julia: Oh, fuck you, Brandon. Was that— Brandon? Was that your plan the whole time or was that—
Brandon: Nope.
Julia: I dug and roll and you're like, "You know what? fuck you, Julia—"
Brandon: A 100%.
Julia: "—I'm gonna date Aubergine."
Eric: You could have both dug and roll. There's plenty of—
Julia: We could have both done it!
Eric: There are four more things to do!
Julia: Brandon's mad at me, and it's fine.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: I thought you were gonna do the Outback Steakhouse guy and I was really excited.
Brandon: Nope. I— that was called a— a trick, Julia.
Eric: Oh, wow, fictional tricks.
Julia: A misdirect.
Brandon: A misdirection.
Eric: A misdirect.
Eric (as Aubergine): Monsieur Umbi, I'm— I was surprised by your invitation to dine.
Brandon: Well, Eric, I want to say it wasn't a surprise, because I want to say that Umbis and Aubergine—
Julia: He would like to retcon this.
Brandon: —have been friends for a while. And they're just those kinds of friends that just have, like, dinner dates every time that they're in town.
Eric: My dinner with Umbi, sure. Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: No, it's my dinner with Aubergine. Let's be honest.
Eric: My dinner with Aubergine. Okay.
Brandon: But it's very 007, very classical like French restaurant.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hello, hello, Aubergine, welcome. Please sit.
Eric (as Aubergine): Oh, at our usual table, of course.
Brandon (as Umbi): Of course, of course.
Eric (as Aubergine): Not the thing I said earlier, I was not surprised to see you at all.
Brandon (as Umbi): How are you?
Eric (as Aubergine): Uh, you know, around seeing the ways that the Greenfolk interact with each other is inspiration for me to come up with new— new art that is both fake consumption and creation, that is art. So, I've— I've made a— yeah, this is— I've been inspired by the Greenfolk condition.
Eric: And then he puts a bucket hat on the table.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's beautiful.
Eric (as Aubergine): It's— it looks like a bucket, like what we use on ship.
Brandon (as Umbi): But a hat.
Eric (as Aubergine): But also a hat, exactly.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I was— I was surprised and delighted to receive your package with my tails, with this beautiful suit that I'm wearing. Thank you for your gift.
Eric (as Aubergine): Of course, I had to— I had to let it all the way out to make sure that it could fit— it could be wonderful for your round, old wrinkly body.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I ordered— I already ordered us appetizers, of course, but while we wait for the wine and the food, please continue to regale me with your— your history, your life story.
Amanda: Remind me, what's your whole deal?
Eric (as Aubergine): Well, I know that you do this. It is like— who can tell who is the one who has amnesia here? It's— it is me or you every time? I've told you— I've told you, I did not know where I'm from. It is—
Brandon (as Umbi): If I drink too much wine, it's definitely me. Am I right, Aubergine?
Eric (as Aubergine): You keep me young, Umbi, you truly do. I— I'm still trying to figure out where I'm from, what the— what is all of this. You know, every— every day every week, every month that stays here, I'm moving farther and farther away from who I once was and I'm starting to be alright with that. Like, who— who is— who was Aubergine? Who was Aubergine's even name? Who— how did that— I am just who I am now. Who can— who can say?
Julia: Was it not Aubergine?
Eric (as Aubergine): As I move farther away, I just think it's— who am I? Who could I be?
Brandon (as Umbi): Who— who could you be?
Eric (as Aubergine): But here's what— here's what’s interesting. I received this note a little while ago, and I wanted to know what you would think of it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh. My— my— my long-time buddy, pal, friend, colleague.
Eric (as Aubergine): From all the— and you— you've spent so much time as character working with me and, you know, establishing our rapport and relationship, of course.
Brandon (as Umbi): I know.
Eric (as Aubergine): It is just— it is almost like it is given that we are so close with each other, that I would just tell you a secret.
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm honored that— I'm honored that you would share this note with me.
Eric (as Aubergine): Would you like to read it?
Brandon (as Umbi): I would like to read it.
Eric: You open it up and it is smooth and—and the wait—
Brandon: Oh, Eric, sorry. One second, here come the appetizers. So just pause for a second and we'll be—
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: We— because you don't want to talk in front of the waiter, right?
Julia: Right. You don't want to reveal secrets to the waiter at the restaurant.
Eric: Oh, no, I'm actually looking at my mechanics. I think you lost your Amber. It's actually not working. Well, that's this episode, tune in next time for the next arc of Join the Party.
Amanda: That teaches you to unlock the backstory of an amnesiac, you idiot.
Julia: Fucking dummy, tried to steal my shit.
Brandon: Escargot, a baguette with some butter.
Julia: [muttering/singing Be Our Guest] Escargot, s'il vous plaît…
Amanda: The snails scream. Uh-hmm.
Julia: The snails scream. They're made out of a—
Brandon: Escarole instead of an escargot maybe?
Julia: Oh, look at that, escarole.
Eric: Get the—the letter is weighty and— and substantive in your hand, it is luxurious paper. And it doesn't have a speck of dirt or drop of water on it.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Perfect.
Eric: And it says, "Francois, I miss you so. I am here out on the front and I think of you. When we are mo— when we are moving, when we are— when I'm sleeping, when I'm waking, when I'm killing, when I'm standing up for what we believe in. Please, I hope this gets to you. I do not know where you are. But hopefully, it arrives. Marie.”
Julia: Marie!
Eric (as Aubergine): So what do you think, just a spam, am I right?
Julia: [French accent] Junk mail.
Eric (as Aubergine): It is a— it's a junk mail, you just throw it out?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, Aubergine. I think this is— it could be your lover, it could be your daughter, could be your son, could be your like—
Eric (as Aubergine): Well, it says Marie, I do not think it is— I do not think it is my son.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I feel it's pretty heteronormative or like gender normative, you know? It could be your son or not.
Amanda: The French name boys all kinds of things.
Brandon (as Umbi): I was trying to be inclusive here.
Eric: Oh, okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Could be a long lost relative that you had a—a— or not long lost, I guess, but like a relative that you had a good relationship with, you know?
Eric (as Aubergine): I just do not know how the— how it— I mean, it cannot be for me. I am not Francois. I am Aubergine. And how would this mail even show up for me? It is— you can see, there is no address on it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, that's a big mystery.
Eric (as Aubergine): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, could your name potentially have been Francois?
Eric (as Aubergine): I mean, I guess, so it— I— yeah. As— c'est la vie, that is life. It is— it is— do I— do I try to investigate what this is or do I just move on?
Brandon (as Umbi): Is there a return address? Can you write back?
Eric (as Aubergine): I don't— I have not seen. I— I'm not sure— I'm not sure how it came to me and I do not know how to send it out.
Julia: Gotta ask the mailman.
Brandon (as Umbi): We should ask Orello about it, if you want to. It's your life, you know?
Eric (as Aubergine): I'm sure the— I don't know. I feel conflicted. Like, what is— is it worth trying to find out who I was when I've done so much here? I do not know.
Brandon (as Umbi): I think that's an answer only you can answer.
Eric (as Aubergine): Ah. Well, so it is your turn to pay. I'm not going to pay for this one. You— you've forgotten.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my turn, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No—
Eric (as Aubergine): In the last—for the last three times I have paid, you better— you are paying this time.
Brandon (as Umbi): I— it’s fine. I stole so many dublooms on our last out— outing.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Eric didn't even notice, I was pickpocketing everyone. It was funny.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. You just rolled secret Nat20s against a DC of nothing.
Julia: Uh-hmm. That's how you win.
Brandon (as Umbi): I was that sneaky.
Eric: Wonderful. Alright. The next day, as you were all— you're all showering and getting all the sand off of you from your wonderful beach day, it’s the next day, you're— you're ready to take on what happens next. Anything could happen, the future, it's bright.
Julia: It's now!
Eric: And it's now. The future is happening to you right away. The Sea Whip has their vibes back. You're standing victoriously. It's all coming together. And that's when Orello says—
Eric (as Orello): I have a secret and I'm finally recovered!
Julia (as Cammie): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Do tell, bud.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric (as Orello): I know where the Divine Labyrinth is, but you better catch me before I'll tell you.
Amanda: What?
[theme]