There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow / There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow / The maize is as high as an elephant fern’s eye / And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky...
Dive into our ship combat mechanics, classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!
[theme]
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The crew wrestles with the Stump's riddles three. They are less understandable than you would expect. This gives the Harvester plenty of time to run up on them and make their lives not so fun. As they run away, everyone pools their information together, and Havana shares with Cammie that the Planter wants him to get Cammie out of the maze as soon as possible. The crew finds a bag of salt crystals that wards off the Harvester and makes a ring around themselves to protect them as they work on the riddles. Eventually, everyone makes it in the Grove except for Cammie who really wants to mix it up with this dude who's been stalking her. She thinks she's protected by the salt circle, but turns out someone stepped in it and breaks its protection. She fights through the pain, rips the scythe away from the Harvester, and beaches it in a big pile of salt. Everything is good in the Grove, supposedly. Maybe. Let's get the party started.
Amanda (as Troy): Maize is also a kind of corn! What?! Did you guys know this?
Julia: Is this in character?
Amanda (as Troy): Are there other words that mean multiple words?!
Julia: This is in character. Okay, cool.
Eric: Amanda and Troy, the singularity.
Amanda (as Troy): Look at it!
Brandon (as Umbi): No. Troy, we didn't know that, it's not— it's not just you. We're here with you with this discovery.
Amanda (as Troy): It's maize in a maze!
Julia: Cammie bleeding in a corner.
Julia (as Cammie): What's up?
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, look! It's a maize within a maze.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, the key is made of co— ohhh.
Amanda (as Troy): Yes!
Eric: Cammie, the key— the key for maize is an ear of corn, perched upon a singular corn stalk in the middle of a plot of land.
Amanda (as Troy): Why would they do that?! Are there not enough words to have one each?
Julia (as Cammie): Does the Planter like puns?
Amanda (as Troy): Why are there bunk beds in language?
Amanda: Troy plunks his head against the wall and does a deep breathing.
Eric: I like— this— this is extra funny because Troy, I feel like if you're looking for something to put your head against, it's like the single most beautiful oak tree you've ever seen in your life with— like that's perfectly sloped to sit against.
Amanda: Yeah, I just—
Eric: And, like, the leaves are both— depending on where you look at it, are both fully green and, like, fall red, orange, yellow ready to fall, but regardless, fully leafed and full, where you—where you plunk your head.
Amanda: Nah he’s not noticing a thing. It's just slowly massaging his head against the tree.
Brandon (as Umbi): Cammie, I might have a memory forget about a spell— potion here somewhere. Let me just— maybe that'll be good for— for Troy.
Julia (as Cammie): I think he'll be okay.
Eric: Your Eternal Sunflower of the Spotless Mind.
Julia (as Cammie): I remember being really upset when I first learned about homophones when I was, like, yay tall.
Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, you can't say that.
Julia (as Cammie): What— uh, what?
Brandon: You can't say homophone.
Amanda: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was too easy. It was easy. It was easy. It's like stealing candy from a baby.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah, you still can't have homophone weddings in Overstalk, though. It's like civil— civil partnerships.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay. Sorry, I— did a lot of time pass or was I just lost in— in my thoughts about that— that— the whole corn thing?
Brandon (as Umbi): No, it's been like— it's been like four seconds.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe just take a na— take a sit, take a— take a rest or something.
Amanda (as Troy): Wait. Cammie, were you bleeding like that before?
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, do you need some help?
Julia (as Cammie): I— I got it, I think. The Harvester did a big hurt on me, so I'm gonna cast a spell.
Amanda (as Troy): But— after we left?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, I'm sorry. I thought— I thought that— I thought you got him what with the circle.
Julia (as Cammie): Um, I didn't get it with the circle. He— hmm, I got him with the salt, and then I thought I was good in the circle, and then I looked down, and the circle was broken.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, no.
Julia (as Cammie): And so he got me good. I fixed the circle. I then stole his scythe, put it—
Amanda (as Troy): Sick.
Julia (as Cammie): —in the middle of the circle, and then I left.
Brandon (as Umbi): I—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, so smart.
Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, I definitely stepped over it. Did you, Troy?
Amanda (as Troy): I mean, I think I did.
Brandon (as Umbi): I thought I did, yeah.
Eric: I think everyone should make Investigation Checks to see if that's the case.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, let's do that.
Eric: Says— says you, Umbi. You didn't step in the circle, you doddering old man.
Amanda: Well, I got a 6, so sure could have been Troy.
Brandon: I got a 15 plus 3 for 18.
Julia: I got an 18 plus 1 for a 19.
Brandon: Wow. Really trying to show me up, Julia.
Julia: Sorry, Brandon.
Amanda: I mean, she was in the circle. She— she had a good view.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Cammie checks everyone's shoes.
Julia: I check the treads.
Eric: Yeah, check the treads— check the treads of everyone's Birkenstocks, which I assume everyone's been wearing the entire time.
Brandon: A 100%.
Amanda: You can just slip them off, have a quick snack.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. So that you can put your feet in the salt water. Yeah, I mean, listen— I mean, there's just a lot of salt everywhere. There's plenty of salt in your own shoes. There's some salt in Troy's shoes. You don't see much on Umbi's shoes, but there sure are— there is a little bit, but nothing— nothing conclusive.
Amanda: What about Havana?
Eric: What about Havana?
Amanda: What do his shoes look like?
Eric: I don't— I don't know what you mean. Miss rolling a 6-- Miss rolling a 6.
Amanda: Who's Havana?
Eric: I don't know who Havana is.
Julia: What about Havana's, Eric?
Eric: Well, Hafana— Havana is not with you. Havana is looking around the Grove, currently has his feet in the water of a little pond, which is—
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: —nearby. There's a little bridge kind of over this, like, majestic pond. Everything— I'm just like— in my head, I'm like, "This is what people imagine Central Park is when you come to the city, right?"
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: It's like there's a little bridge over a little pond and Havana has— has kicked his shoes off and is kicking his feet in the— in the water of the pond.
Brandon: Oh, so he didn't put his shoes in the pond, though?
Eric: No. No, no, no.
Brandon: Okay. Good.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, you can stay as long as you want here. I came inside, I'm the Stump.
Brandon: Oh, goddamn it.
Julia: I hate that the stump can move.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you have any more riddles just for funsies?
Eric (as Stump): No, you already came inside. I don't give people riddles for fun. It's more of a challenge because you're in a divine place.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay. That's fine. I got some for you if you want.
Eric (as Stump): Shut up!
Eric: And he walks away.
Eric (as Stump): Actually, I haven't reveal— I haven't revealed my true self to you. Hold on, just a moment.
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric: And the Stump raises his little— his little hands and starts, like, a magical girl transformation. Spinning around as magic envelop—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Eric: —as magic envelopes him and, like, turns into a stump silhouette. And then the silhouette grows, and grows, and grows. And now, the Stump is a— is a hot lady with awesome curves, but instead of a head, it's the stump.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Eric (as Stump): Now, you see my true form.
Amanda (as Troy): Nice to meet you.
Eric (as Stump): Hello, this is Stump.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hello.
Eric (as Stump): From earlier. Stump of Riddles.
Amanda (as Troy): That's amazing.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): It's like you are a riddle.
Eric (as Stump): That's true.
Brandon (as Umbi): Was the body, like, under the ground, or in the stump, or neither?
Eric (as Stump): What?! I don't— I— please don't ask interrogative questions about my body.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, so we’re—
Eric (as Stump): This isn't a riddle to solve. It's just who I am.
Julia: Can I heal myself?
Eric: If you want, you could try.
Julia: What do you mean I could try?
Eric (as Stump): You could— you could try if that's what you want to do.
Julia: Yeah, I would like to heal myself. I'd like to cast a first-level Cure Wounds on myself, please.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: Do I need to roll anything, DM?
Eric: Can you-- give me two— give me a second. [dice roll] No, you're fine. No, you're okay.
Julia: Okay. Great. Then I heal myself for 13 hit points.
Amanda: Good job.
Eric (as Stump): So how does that work?
Julia (as Cammie): How does what work?
Eric (as Stump): Well, it's the— how are you— where is the— I've never seen accursed magic up close before, so I just think I'd ask the question, how does it work?
Julia (as Cammie): I make tea, and I pour it on my wounds, and then they heal.
Eric (as Stump): Huh.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Stump): That feels like that's how it should work. It doesn't come from inside of you, it comes from the tea?
Julia (as Cammie): I don't— I don't come to your magic grove, and tell you how your magic is done, sir— madam.
Eric (as Stump): I mean, you literally did come to my magic Grove, and you're still kind of, actually. Probably— actually, you asked me questions in that regard earlier.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't think I did.
Brandon (as Umbi): I— I probably did it, honestly. It was wrong of me.
Eric (as Stump): You and your— and the affiliates of such accursed person here in the Divine Grove.
Amanda (as Troy): Hey, Cammie is— Cammie is just a person, you don't have to keep— keep calling them an accursed person. What— like just in theory, if you met a doctor, and— and the doctor was a man, you don't have to keep saying he's a male doctor. You just say he's a doctor.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's growth.
Eric (as Stump): It's— I'm not— I'm not— well, I don't live within the bounds of society. This isn't more of a— this isn't a judgment about positive or negative, it's more of a definition.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric (as Stump): Definitely— definitionally. It's the curse— of a magical curse. Instead of the way that other people have— the other people do— do a— do miracles and— and things— and spells and things.
Julia (as Cammie): Curse just kind of seems derogatory when you keep saying it like that, and like I think of it as a blessing.
Eric (as Stump): Well, how did you— well, how did you get it?
Eric: With the Stump puts his hand on his— on his hot womanly curve.
Julia (as Cammie): I was playing in the woods, and I hid under a lady's porch.
Eric (as Stump): Go on.
Julia (as Cammie): And then she didn't like that.
Eric (as Stump): Uh-huh.
Julia (as Cammie): And then, I had magic.
Eric (as Stump): Uh-huh. That's what— yeah. I think you left out some steps there. I— this is my first time hearing about how you go under someone’s porch and end up with magic.
Julia (as Cammie): She gave me magic.
Eric (as Stump): I don't know about that.
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, that's how I see it.
Amanda (as Troy): Do you guys— do you— do you know each other?
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Amanda (as Troy): It seems like you know a lot about— about my friend, Cammie.
Eric (as Stump): I've seen things like this come into the room before.
Julia (as Cammie): You literally just said you'd never seen accursed magic done before.
Eric (as Stump): Well, I didn't have someone who was willing to answer my questions. I haven't seen it up close. I have heard tell of these things happening.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Julia (as Cammie): How many people have come into this maze before that haven't claimed the key?
Eric (as Stump): Oh, maybe this many— oh, wait hold on. Hold— ask the question again.
Julia (as Cammie): Why?
Eric (as Stump): I— I want— it's part of my— part of the way that you're a good Greenfolk, as according to the Planter is listening to the full question and not interrupting.
Julia (as Cammie): That's very kind of you.
Eric (as Stump): It's like trying to let a conversation bloom fully before plucking it.
Julia (as Cammie): So my question was, how many people have come to this maze before and haven't claimed the key? Because clearly it's still right there.
Eric (as Stump): Oh. Let me think about that.
Eric: Shaking his hips from side to side.
Amanda: I love this genderfuck stump. A true trickster god.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Stump): Who haven't claimed the key? This one, this key?
Brandon (as Umbi): Are there more than one?
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, there are four.
Julia (as Cammie): Yes, specifically the key for a maze.
Eric (as Stump): Oh.
[Troy breathes heavily]
Julia (as Cammie): Troy, take a breath. Just think of— just think of the one word.
Brandon: Just think of that one word.
Amanda (as Troy): Right, right, right.
Julia (as Cammie): You don't have think about both, we could just think about the one.
Brandon (as Umbi): Are there more than one copy of the key for a maze, M-A-Z- E, only?
Eric (as Stump): Well, you didn't— okay. I can't wiggle out of it. Well— okay, hold on.
Eric: The Stump goes over to the key for a maze and pulls it out, like plucks it with a little pop.
Amanda: Wait, Eric, what is the sound of the pop?
Eric: Well, it goes— [pops]
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric (as Stump): Alright, come over here. I can't— I can't lie in the Grove. Why would— fuck. Fuck.
Julia (as Cammie): I love not— it— can no one lie in the grove?
Eric (as Stump): Well, you shouldn't.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): What happens if you do?
Julia (as Cammie): The Planter gets mad?
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Eric (as Stump): You three are very laissez-faire for where you are at the moment. I'm very taken aback by the time— by the casualness upon which we are in.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, I was just gonna go and take the key and run away, but then you came in, and I was all— I was all like, "What— what— why'd you come in?"
Eric (as Stump): I know you were, which is why— once again, not the first person this happens. Julia: Cammie goes over.
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, show me what you mean. Tell me the truth.
Eric (as Stump): Okay.
Eric: And you come over and on that— so the stalk stays.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you can see— if you look really close, there's a little bud that looks like a tiny, tiny, tiny version of the maze key, which we'll call it from now on.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, so like if someone takes one, it grows back?
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, but usually people don't stick around enough to kind of figure that out, but you— you were very interrogative.
Julia (as Cammie): So several people could've already had the key for the maze?
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, yes.
Brandon (as Umbi): That's not good.
Julia (as Cammie): Is— I— I know you exist here. Is that true of the other keys that there are, like, multiple copies of the other keys?
Eric (as Stump): No, it's just this one.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Do you know that for sure?
Eric (as Stump): Yes.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Amanda (as Troy): It's very helpful.
Brandon: Can I roll an Investigation Check?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I— I don't think that this person is lying, because they just said the Planter would be real mad if they lied inside the Grove.
Brandon: Well, you're probably right, Julia, but I do want to do an insight and to see.
Julia: Alright.
Brandon: Because Eric always says we should play D&D.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: This is a note for future Amanda is, don't give yourself plus zero to intelligence in the future.
Brandon: 15 plus 3 for 18 on Insight.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah.
Eric: Shaking his ample bosom.
Amanda: I love him.
Eric: In my he— in my head, I know this doesn't make sense, but it's like the Stump is wearing like— what a college sophomore would wear as like hot Greek goddess statue—
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: —as— as an outfit.
Julia: Okay, cool.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Sure, yeah.
Eric: And then stump is head.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Interesting.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Can't wait for the fan art.
Julia: I love that for him.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, yeah. This is the only one that reproduces.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, cool.
Eric (as Stump): That regrows.
Brandon (as Umbi): Interesting.
Eric (as Stump): Fuck.
Amanda (as Troy): Well, I— I gotta say you've been really helpful.
Julia (as Cammie): Language in the Grove, please.
Eric (as Stump): No, that's fine.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.
Eric (as Stump): I'm sorry that you grew up in such a puritanical society. That actually is fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Planter loves cursing?
Eric (as Stump): Planter is fine with it. Express yourself.
Amanda (as Troy): Well.
Brandon: His full name is the Fucking Planter.
Eric (as Stump): If it grows out of you, let it fly, or grow, I guess.
Amanda: That's pretty good.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): I kind of liked this. Havana, tell me more.
Julia (as Cammie): Fuck!
Eric: Havan— Havana is like—
Eric (as Havana): I'm splashing my— I'm splashing my feet.
Eric: Havana is looking really, really close at the pond, by the way.
Julia: I'm gonna wander over there.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Can someone— make sure someone takes the key from this fucking Stump first, but—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Can I— can I have that, please?
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks for all your help, man.
Eric (as Stump): Okay. Yeah, I shouldn't have plucked it for you, kind of getting the pop is the— is the satisfying, then I'm sorry about that.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, we got to hear it. That's all we need, you know?
Eric (as Stump): I don't know.
Amanda (as Troy): You deserve to hear it, too.
Eric (as Stump): This isn't usually like a— a group activity.
Amanda (as Troy): I like spending time with you, man. You seem really cool. I bet you have a lot of good stories.
Eric (as Stump): Everything about this day is different than the usual way. Why is this different than all of the existing occasions?
Julia (as Cammie): Because you never met Troy Riptide.
Eric (as Stump): I guess not, Troy Riptide.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Stump): Here you go. Okay, here. Yeah, take the key.
Brandon (as Umbi): Thank you. Troy, do you want to hold it, or you want me hold it?
Amanda (as Troy): Whatever you want, bruv.
Brandon (as Umbi): Alright. I hold it for now. We could trade off.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Eric: Hey, as you got close to it, big ear of corn, size of baby, size of baby.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: Big ear of corn, size of baby. Heavier also than baby.
Amanda: Whoa.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Eric: It's hefty, and it's large, okay?
Amanda: Heavy like two babies?
Eric: Heavy like two babies.
Amanda: Long like one baby?
Eric: Long, yes, exactly.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Heavy like too heavy for old man, better for a young strong man to hold?
Eric: You're— you're putting in— in your RPG inventory, it's fine.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: But the— the more— what — what I want you to feel, the weight of it in your hands, it's also like non— it's room temperature, which is— which is odd.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Yeah. Have you ever had— have like a vegetable from the garden? It's hot.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: It's warm. It's weird.
Eric: Yeah, exactly. It's warm. Here's another thing, I'm just gonna tell you, this thing has a 25% chance to unlock any door.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: I'll just tell you that— I'll just tell you that for free.
Julia: That’s good to know.
Brandon: So it's like a sk key instead of a skeleton key because it's 25% of the word skeleton, do you get it?
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: It is. It is 25% of the world skeleton.
Eric: Which 25%?
Julia: The sk part.
Eric: This is— I thought it was an “on” key, a “ton” key.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So you could do that. It's a— it's a little big. There you go.
Amanda: Hell yeah, that's so cool.
Eric (as Stump): Oh, well, I mean, you can spend your time here in the Divine Grove. It's kind of calibrated so that it can be nice for anyone to hang out for an extended period of time. There's some trees you can— there's some trees you could sit in.
Julia: Can we— can we long rest here?
Brandon: Or short rest?
Eric (as Stump): No.
Julia: You just said we can spend as much time as we want here, bruh.
Eric (as Stump): You can, but like it does— once you leave— once you leave, it doesn't really stick.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Stump): Like it only works— it kind of only works in the area— in the area here. You could use it as a chance to recalibrate your time and thoughts.
Julia: Cammie's gonna wander away from the Stump.
Eric (as Stump): And then there's a plant garden, if you want to look at that. Oh, you could play with the puppy crop, I guess if you want.
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Eric: There's the pond where you can talk to people who've died and—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Julia (as Cammie): What?
Eric (as Stump): —just don't make too much noise, to keep a relaxing attitude.
Amanda: Troy, like, slaps a hand over his mouth.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you, Stump of Riddles. You've been really nice.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, just like— yeah, just keep it down, like it's a library. Well, like a— it's a— but it— the libraries of cool leaves and hanging out.
Brandon (as Umbi): Not the one— like, not the kinds with the word sharks, not those kinds of libraries?
Eric (as Stump): No, this is— it's one of— it's— it's like a— imagine like a cool, chill library.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): That does sound good.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, hang out if you want— and if you want to leave whatever you want, but yeah.
Julia: This stump talks so much. Cammie just like— has wandered away five minutes ago and just like—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Sounds great. Thank you.
Eric (as Stump): Yeah, if you need anything, just let me know. I'm just kind of— it's just for me to show people around if you want.
Amanda: Troy goes—
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Amanda: And then walks over to the pond.
Amanda (as Troy): I want to see someone who's died.
Eric: Cool. You want to do anything, or you're just like fall asleep under a tree?
Brandon: Oh, no. He's following over with the group.
Eric: Oh, yeah, you guys can go to the pond. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a— oh, you're going over to the pond where Havana— where Havana is hanging out. Havana has his face pressed really— just so close to the water. Little dried peel nose is almost touching the pond water.
Julia (as Cammie): So Havana, who do you know who died?
Eric (as Havana): Oh, my gran— my grandma.
Julia (as Cammie): What's her name?
Eric (as Havana): Well, I just call— I just called her Ji— I called her Jim Jam.
Julia (as Cammie): That's cute.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Can you— hold on, I have—okay. Yeah. Okay. Yes.
Eric: And Havana pulls his face away from the water.
Julia (as Cammie): You doing okay, buddy?
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Uh, yeah— uh, yes? Gre— it's great being in a-- such a hall of wonder and growth and can't believe we're here. Pretty cool. Pretty nice.
Julia (as Cammie): You don't sound super excited about this, actually.
Eric (as Havana): I— it's pretty— I— it's pretty stressful. I gue— it's pretty— I guess it's pretty stressful, a little bit. This is— it's wild that we are here, but it is pretty strange.
Julia (as Cammie): Well, I mean, we got what we came for. We can leave pretty soon, so—
Eric (as Havana): Hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): —that's something.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, yeah, you— the key— you got— the— the key— yeah, I didn't see you get the key, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): I didn't get the key.
Eric(as Havana): Oh. I meant all of you, the three of you.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, okay.
Eric (as Havana): The— the three of you there. Yeah. So, yeah, okay. We got the key, we can get— yeah, we can get out of here. That's probably for the best.
Amanda (as Troy): You can see another little one growing if you want. That sounds pretty good, but that's about it.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, I miss the sound. Okay. I mean, I got—
Amanda (as Troy): It was— it was like this, right? Not a shit. Oh, fuck. Alright, I'll— I'll keep working on it.
Eric (as Havana): Okay. Okay. I— I'll— I'll imagine. I mean, I can only imagine what it is. But no, it's— it's— it's good, it's good. Yeah. How are— how did this all— how did all of that— how the— the Harvester is not allowed in here? That's good.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
Eric (as Havana): Uh-huh.
Amanda (as Troy): Seems like he's kind of unholy and stuff, but all of us are holy enough.
Eric (as Havana): Nothing— I— it is so impossible to stay— I don't even know what the threshold of that is. It is impossible to stay as-- to follow all of these things and walk the narrow Path. I mean, who eve— I don't even know what the parameters are, why we're allowed in here or what is, so— I guess. I guess.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Like I'm in here even though weird voices have been telling me and also apparently you that I shouldn't be.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): So that's cool, I guess.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): You know, when Orello said, "Oh, the Divine Labyrinth, it's like a museum and"— I was— I was so excited about that. I'm not really enjoying myself as much as like the Book Depository or, like, even the Bullseye Games until we destroyed the stadium.
Eric (as Havana): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Troy): It was all really good until that, I think.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah, we— we all really enjoyed ourselves there. I think what Aurelo meant looking from the outside seemed boring like a museum.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): Right. No, I know that now—
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): —but it's just kind of stuck in my mind.
Eric (as Havana): No, it's— no, fair. Fair.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, Havana, don't— don't stress yourself out about this, man. It's like, you know, we decide who gets to come on our ship, and whoever made this maze gets to decide who comes in the maze, and who comes inside the inside of the maze, and, you know, it— it is what it is. Different rules for different ships.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Did you— you talked to your— your Jim Jam in the pond there?
Eric (as Havana): I did. She's fine, which is good.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): You must've a lot of emotions about that, bud.
Eric (as Havana): Out of all the things I thought would happen, I did not think talking to my Jim Jam was going to be one of the things we were going to— I was going to do today. So pretty— she's in— she's very confused that I'm a doctor. She does not understand that, but—
Julia (as Cammie): Well, you know, older generations, they don't get it.
Eric (as Havana): Older generations, yeah. Did not— she doesn't really get that, but, you know, she's— I think she's proud, she's proud of it, apparently.
Amanda (as Troy): In a couple days, I bet she'll be like, "Woah, I didn't think about that, but now I think about that, that's perfect."
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Amanda: Troy puts an arm around him.
Eric (as Havana): Thanks. Thanks. Yeah. But, no, I mean, it seems cool here. We— I guess we can— we'll go out when we want to, just let me know.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. Do you want your shoes back on? Because like your feet look a little wet, and you don't want to be walking around in the— the mud, and the grass, and whatnot.
Eric (as Havana): I— I mean, I'm— I can walk around in here without my shoes on. I feel like they're getting waterlogged forever, but I'll— I'm gonna— I'm gonna, like, bang them out, too.
Julia (as Cammie): Let me— let me do that for you.
Julia: Cammie grabs the shoes.
Eric (as Havana): I— I can— I can bang my own shoes out. Thank you. It's fine. I could do it.
Julia: Cammie does it.
Brandon: Contest, contest, contest.
Amanda: We love a contest on Join the Party.
Julia: What am I doing, a Dexterity Check?
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: [dice roll] 14 minus 1.
Eric: Well, I did roll a Natural 20.
Julia: Seriously?
Eric: So Havana, like, moves quickly for the shoes and, like, magic surges from his palm and, like, grappling hook grabs them out of your hands.
Julia (as Cammie): Um—
Eric (as Havana): I guess it's enhanced in here. Pretty cool.
Julia (as Cammie): Less about the magic grappling hook situation was the um.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Don't— yeah, no, it's— it's— don't worry about it, I got it.
Julia (as Cammie): Can I see at the bottom of your shoes, Havana?
Eric (as Havana): I— wha— uh—
Amanda (as Troy): We did it before.
Eric (as Havana): Why? Why— why do we— why are we checking the bottom of people's shoes?
Julia (as Cammie): Well, there was a lot of salt on the ground—
Eric (as Havana): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Cammie): —and maybe we could use that for fighting off the Harvester when we leave the Grove.
Eric (as Havana): What? I thought the Harvester couldn't come in here and then the—
Julia (as Cammie): I know, for when we leave the Grove, though.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, we gotta leave. We gotta get out of here.
Eric (as Havana): Are we out of— are we out of salt in the sack?
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, I thought we had more.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah.
Julia (as Cammie): No.
Amanda (as Troy): I just got sawdust in my pockets. It's not very helpful.
Julia (as Cammie): It doesn't ward off the Harvester, the sawdust.
Amanda (as Troy): Nah, it's just more like a shapely thigh.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's good kindling, though.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
[rolls dice]
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Sure. Okay. Where do I have to bang my shoes? Or whe— how do I—are we gonna scrape them off?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, just let me— let me see.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah, sure. Okay,
Amanda: Troy, like, unfolds a handkerchief, puts it on the ground.
Eric: Havana bangs his shoes into the handkerchief. There's salt on his shoes. There's salt from— on one shoe more so than the other. Is there more salt on it than Troy's or your shoes, Cammie? There's more but, like, by how much?
Brandon: Yeah, probably like—
Eric: You know?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —conclusive evidence of anything?
Eric: Yeah. Like there's definitely more, there is salt on one shoe, but how much more is there salt when we're comparing salt at the bottom of shoes?
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Troy bangs his too, to add a little more salt to the handkerchief.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Listen, if it comes to this, I'll throw it in his face. I mean, it can't hurt. It'll only hurt him, you know?
Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Havana): No, that's smart. It's smart.
Brandon (as Umbi): It's like a salt bomb.
Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Pocket salt, cha.
Amanda (as Troy): Exactly. Ready to go, man, or you want a little more time?
Eric (as Havana): No, I'm good. Um, no, I'm good.
Julia (as Cammie): Thank you, Havana.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. No problem.
Amanda (as Troy): Glad you got to talk to your Jim Jam.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. I mean, I think that— I don't— you know, like everyone gets to do it, so if you want to— I don't think we— I think we can just like hang out, so—
Amanda (as Troy): The only dead people I know I killed in a coup, so I don't think that'll be very good for me.
Eric (as Havana): Hmm.
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa.
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah, I'm good on dead people as well.
Brandon (as Umbi): And most of the people I know are dead, so—
Amanda (as Troy): How can you choose?
Julia (as Cammie): So you could talk to anyone.
Eric (as Havana): A lot— like a lot— that's like— yeah.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.
Eric (as Havana): Analysis paralysis, I get it. Yeah. Like, who— who is there to— who is there to choose?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, there's too many people.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): I think I'm gonna wander over to the plaque garden part.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, someone said there was puppies.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): We should go check out the puppies.
Eric (as Havana): Yeah, there's— yeah, there's puppies.
Amanda (as Troy): Whoa. Where? Can you show me?
Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Oh, it's over there.
Eric: So there's, like, again, another kind of, like, plot of farmed land, hoed land, and in the center is kind of like a big ro— vegetable root, and then you see that there are a little like—there's, like, a little pumpkin puppy and a little strawberry puppy, and a little, like, butterfly puppy.
Julia: Oh, that's so cute.
Eric: Like all kind of— like a leash kind of attached to the middle of this root— vegetable root.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: But you guys have been to a pumpkin patch, right?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, of course.
Eric: So it's like— yeah, like in the center is like the roots of the pumpkin and then like— like a leash, all of these different little puppies are just kind of running around, playing, jumping on each other. Some of them are snoozing.
Amanda (as Troy): Riddle Stump? Riddle Stump?
Eric (as Stump): Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Does any of these puppies want to come home with me?
Eric (as Stump): No, you can't bring them home with you.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric (as Stump): That's why they’re on the leash.
Amanda: Troy sobbing silently, turns back toward the entrance.
Eric (as Stump): That shouldn't be the first question. It's like— you can destress.
Amanda (as Troy): No, I can't.
Eric (as Stump): Okay, fi— Troy Riptide, fine.
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you.
Amanda: Troy is gonna wait over by the— over by the entrance.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Amazing.
Eric: And then, like, over on the other side of the Grove, there is like a— there's like a fie— it's is more of like a rolling field where there are plaques inserted into the ground. You can kind of see the little spots where there's like little divots.
Julia: I want to go look at those little divots.
Brandon: I want to go, too.
Eric: Sure. Troy is sad because he can’t play--
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: He can’t trust himself to play with the puppies, for sure.
Amanda: Troy is going to go toward the entrance and clean his single arrow that he has left.
Brandon (as Umbi): Troy, heads up.
Brandon: And Umbi throws the maze key to Troy.
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, thanks.
Amanda: Troy's gonna tuck it in his quiver.
Eric (as Stump): Hey, can you please keep— keep it down? The, like, level of noise is up here. I need to— I need it at a dull roar.
Brandon (as Umbi): [whispers] Troy, heads up.
Eric (as Stump): Thank you. Thank you for bringing it down.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay.
Eric (as Stump): Thank you.
Julia (as Cammie): Cool.
Brandon (as Umbi): Let's go read some— let's go read some plaques.
Julia (as Cammie): I love plaques. This might be the museum part. This is the only thing I'm going to get in here.
Eric: Troy, make a Perception Check.
Amanda: Ooh.
Julia: Perceive, Troy, perceive.
Amanda: Well, it did roll from a 19 to a 1.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Never mind. Troy's— Troy's eyes are filled with tears because he can't pet the puppies.
Julia: We've all been there.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You're just haunted by the fact that the puppies will stay here and you cannot bring one home. Or— or, though, Troy—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Eric: —you know—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Eric: —the puppies—
Amanda (as Troy): What?
Eric: —there's no protection around—
Amanda (as Troy): No, I can't steal a puppy in this sacred
Eric: I'm— Troy, I'm just— Troy, I'm just saying your— your eyes glance over, it'd be like, "Oh, obviously, dog park, there must be walls around this." There's no walls around— around the puppy plot. They're only held there by just a little vine leash is what your eyes land on.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, I need you to tell me some things about the Path, because I'm thinking about getting off it. I don't think that's very good.
Eric (as Havana): Okay. Um, swears are fine, is something I thought was interesting.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-huh. How about stealing autonomous creature against their will from probably god/do you want a puppy?
Eric: Well, the answer is— the answer to those questions in a row is no and unrelated, yes.
Brandon: I mean, it would be tight to have a salty sea dog on the Sea Whip, you know?
Amanda: Troy's gonna lay down his arrow and walk slowly over. Let's flip back. I'm gonna think.
Julia: Troy— Amanda really considering whether or not she's gonna steal a dog.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, it's Amanda. And this US Thanksgiving week, we are so grateful for you. Every single one of you who listens, who gasps, and laughs, and learns along with us here on the show, it is truly such an honor to be able to do this as part of our livings and we can't believe what an incredible community we have around us. People say community a lot in online media, and usually, they don't mean it, but right now I do. So we are grateful, we are thankful. You keep us going and we love you. Thank you and welcome especially to our newest patrons, Derek Avi and Vulcan Schaaf. We can only make the show because of the financial support you and other people give us on Patreon. For just five bucks a month, you too can know that you are making Join the Party possible and get all kinds of bonus stuff, like early access to episodes, ad-free episodes, audio and video versions of Party Planning, where we answer your questions and play games. Including this coming Friday, by the way, a lot of people take off for this Thanksgiving week, but we don't because there's no bad Tuesdays and every other Friday is an especially Good Friday because you get Party Planning. Hang out with us all day in Discord, it's incredibly exciting. All of that and more at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. This week at Multitude, we have a lot going on. And you can actually hear Eric talk all about his favorite games of the year, and what he's looking forward to on Games and Feelings. An advice podcast all about games, where Eric and permanent guest Jasper Cartwright of Three Black Halflings answer all kinds of advice questions about game, anything at the intersection of fun and humanity since, you know, you play games with other people they talk about. There's quizzes, advice, questions, game recommendations, everything you could imagine. Plus once a month, Eric and I sit down to re-answer better advice questions that have been written into traditional advice columnists like Eleanor Roosevelt, and Blair Braverman, and Ask a Manager that have to do with games. So go on and check it out, new episodes every Friday. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, this time of year can be especially challenging. I know, for me, there's a lot of expectation, a lot of comparison between the way I celebrated holidays as a kid and the way I do now, when my family is different. We live different places, we're comprised of different people, and the traditions that are meaningful to me, may not be the ones I was raised with. And it is— can be incredibly fraught. I don't want to say is, but it can be, and it's often incredibly fraught to have those conversations to say, "I know we used to do this, but for me, this is what I want to do going forward." And I have 100% practiced those conversations in therapy with my therapist talking about what makes me nervous about them, what I think could go wrong, and usually, what he points out to me what might be able to go right. And if you are thinking about trying therapy, and you want to do it in a way that is convenient and flexible, and suited to your schedule, consider BetterHelp. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. So find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhlep, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by Twenty Sided Store. Now, of course, this is our friendly local game store, and it can also be yours because they now ship things online. So whether like other Join the Party listeners in the past, you decide to make Twenty Sided, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, a part of your next trip to New York, or you just go to their website and check out all the cool stuff they have going on. You got to do it. So, okay, I looked at their new arrival section of their website, and this is just a sampling of the extremely cool stuff they have in this week, alright? It's the RPG Root by Magpie Games, some extremely classy wooden sets of chest and backgammon. There's a beautiful set of 11D4 specifically for rolling damage on Magic Missile. Incredible, I see you there. There are some new things like Greater than Games, Pokemon card booster packs, and a whole bunch of cool minis. So go ahead, you won't regret it, and check them out at twentysidestore.com. That's twenty, all one word, all spelled, sidedstore.com, and you can use the code Pirate for 20% off your order. Or if you visit them in person on Grand Street in Williamsburg, just mention Join the Party and you'll get that discount. All that and more at twentysidedstore.com. And now, folks, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Just absolutely dead faced, Troy is just like— like Denzel—
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: —Washington playing—
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: —a mercenary—
Amanda: That’s exactly right.
Eric: —and just walking over to the puppy po— the puppy plot.
Amanda: What's the movie called, The Extractor?
Eric: The—
Brandon: The Puppy Extractor.
Amanda: Uh-huh. That's me.
Eric: Yeah. Over the plaques, you two walk over and you look at the plaque, and thi— this plaque says, "This is where the idea of riding petunia horses came from."
Julia (as Cammie): What— what?
Brandon (as Umbi): What, like this spot, or this plaque?
Eric: That's what the plaque says.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Cammie gently touches the plaque.
Eric: Nothing happens.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Interesting.
Brandon (as Umbi): What's the next one say?
Amanda: Cammie, whatever you do, don't point at it.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You're gonna stand on top of the plaque.
Julia (as Cammie): I thought maybe I'd get a horse.
Eric: The next one says— “This is where the idea of trading things for other things was grown.”
Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, the barter system. Yay.
Brandon (as Umbi): So, like, this is where the Planter planted the seeds.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, they were grown.
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, of these things.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh.
Brandon (as Umbi): And maybe the Waterer, like, watered them, and they germinate, and they grew into the ideas. Or maybe the Waterer doesn't really think, we don't know.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: How about another one?
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Give us more.
Eric: “This is where chocolate— this is where chocolate-covered meat was grown and died on the vine.”
Brandon (as Umbi): Take the pledge on that one.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, that's probably good. Yeah. Though, have you ever had pollen pig bacon that's covered in chocolate? That's pretty good.
Brandon (as Umbi): No, I'm a vegetarian.
Julia (as Cammie): Weird. Okay.
Brandon: Yeah, in this world, is it worse to be vegetarian?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I was just thinking, that’s like saying, "I eat exclusively meat."
Julia: Can I roll like, I don't know, like a Religion Check, or a History Check, or something to, like, kind of get the vibe of, like, what I know about the Planter, and the Path, and the growing of ideas?
Eric: Sure. Yeah, make a religion check and— and ask me a question.
Julia: [dice roll] I only rolled an 11.
Eric: 11. Yeah, what do you want to know?
Julia: I think Cammie wants to know if, like, is this the location where the Divine Labyrinth was built, the location in which the Planter planted all of the seeds of creation? Like, is this the Garden of Eden basically, for the religion of Verda Stello?
Eric: Maybe. There's some plaques suggesting that. You know, there's always a push and pull between metaphor and reality, right? Like, is there actually a place where things grew? Is this symbolic in its own way? Why is it behind the Cascade? Did Panorama build this place? That makes sense, especially when Umbi was like, "Oh, look, there's Plato." Like Pano— Panorama grew the hedge maze. And then what does that mean? Why is it here? How old is this place? Did things exist before? How did you get behind the Cascade before it dried up? Honestly, the—these plaques give you more questions than answers.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Though, there are questions you never considered would exist in the first place.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: Could I do an Arcana Check and maybe just, like, see if I can tell if these are sort of, like, just plants or sort of have a vibe to them?
Eric: I'll— I'll just tell you that. Yeah, there's definitely a vibe here. I mean, like—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —you know like in a— in a cemetery where there might be a headstone or a plaque in the ground, and then like, yes, the grass has grown over that spot, but the plaque is symbolizing the— the space in front of the plaque.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You know, like, if you took all the ceremony out of a cemetery, it's just, like, a field with some plaques in it.
Julia and Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You know? So to— to answer your question, yeah, the plaques are symbolizing the vibe-y thing in which it's in front of.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Hey, Cammie, you got— got those glasses on you still?
Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. I mean, I— you could try them if you want. They didn't work on the carvings at the entrance of the maze—
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Cammie): —so I'm not sure— but, you know, better to try than not try, right?
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, why not?
Brandon: Can I slip the glasses on and see if they do anything?
Eric: Yeah, you can slip the glasses on. It's really hard to read these plaques with the glasses on.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Okay.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Eric: Yeah. Glasses— established, the glasses only work on written pieces of paper.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: Good thought, though. Good thought. That's locked in. That is— that is— you can fill in all the ones on your Sudoku board.
Brandon: Yay.
Julia: Yay, we did it.
Brandon (as Umbi): Well, the— the plants back home aren't gonna believe this, so—
Brandon: Umbi's going to grab the biggest leaf he can, put it on top of the chocolate meat plaque.
Amanda: Grave rubbing, yeah.
Brandon: And then take a small rock and rub it onto the leaf—
Amanda: Yay!
Brandon: —so he gets a little rubbing of the—of the plaque.
Julia: I love that.
Eric: Hell yeah. No, I love that.
Julia: That's so smart.
Eric: That's great. For sure. Yeah, you got a big— you got a big leaf.
Amanda: You know who loves doing grave rubbings? My Jammie.
Julia: Love that for her.
Amanda: She loves it. She loves it.
Eric: Yeah. You got a big leaf that says, "Here lies chocolate-covered meats. Died on the vine."
Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. No one's gonna believe that one, man.
Eric: Yeah. Umbi, make an— make a perception check, please.
Brandon: Perception check.
Julia: Come on, Perceive.
Brandon: 16 plus 3 for 19.
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Eric: Interesting. Okay.
Brandon: I rolled good today, guys.
Eric: What is Umbi interested in the most here? I have two things I want to sha— I want to tell you and I wanted to see— I want to figure out which one I want to tell you.
Brandon: I think—
Eric: There's no wrong answer. I just want vi— I just want vibes.
Brandon: No, I— yeah, I know. Sorry. I'm going back and forth between what he care more about sort of un— unearthing, for lack of a better word, more information on the plaques and the Waterer, or would he be like— would he care more about, like, what's the deal with the key? Like why— why is there a key? Why is it re-growing?
Eric: No, that's good. That actually gives me— that actually gives me vibes. That gives me vibes.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: You kind of walk over a little bit of way to get a tree that has a big leaf, right? Big oak tree leaf, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Laying farther over in this meadow, away from the plaque garden.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Kind of like on a big tuft of grass that's grown up higher with, like, wildflowers around it. Someone is laying in the grass, who seems to be sleeping. This is a— an older woman with very long hair, who's kind of wearing a— kind of a simple dress very similar to Panorama, but just like nothing— no adornment, just like kind of simple peasant dress. A little glow wor— an older glow worm woman who's just kind of like curled up on this patch of meadow and has, like, little— like, little mushrooms growing on her and she's sleeping.
Brandon: Oh, cute.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Adorable.
Julia: Umbi goes, "New wife potential."
Brandon: Nah, he's too old for her.
Julia: She's also an older woman.
Brandon: Exactly, Julia.
Julia: Yeah. Maybe you're— maybe you're a cradle robber for older women.
Eric: This is an older woman and it's a little— it's a December and the day before New Year's relationship.
Amanda: Incredible.
Brandon: Is she within earshot, I guess?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. She's definitely— she's within— she's in— within earshot. She's, like, far enough away from you that you didn't run on to— you didn't stumble on top of her, but she's, like, kind of over there, and you can see all these details. Like, you can see the wildflowers in this kind of, like, little mattress of grass in the meadow.
Brandon: Umbi's reaching out for the leaf and then he says—
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm Umbi. Oh, sorry. Oh, no, you're— you're snoring. Okay.
Julia: Is— is this why the Stump didn't want us to be loud?
Eric (as Stump): Hey, if you're over there next in the— next to the plant garden, please keep it— keep it down. Gotta be very— you need to be quiet over in the Plaque Garden.
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, who's this lady?
Eric (as Stump): She's sleeping.
Julia (as Cammie): But who is she?
Eric (as Stump): We— I—
Julia (as Cammie): Because I can see that.
Eric (as Stump): What— I under— well, she— we just— we don't want to disturb her, alright?
Julia (as Cammie): And what's her name? And who is she?
Eric (as Stump): Again, I think our— I think our voices are too high— too loud.
Julia: Cammie walks over.
Julia (as Cammie): Okay, who is that?
Eric (as Stump): Okay, we're coming over here.
Julia (as Cammie): What's her name?
Brandon (as Umbi): I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you!
Eric: I'm doing this, moving my microphone all the way down here.
Brandon: Oh, no. Oh no.
Julia: Is that a real chunky die? Oh, no. Brandon, you fucked up.
Brandon: I fucked up?
Julia: You fucked up!
Brandon: He's trying to hide us from something cool.
Julia: Yup.
Amanda: It's probably like the soul of the maze or something, it’s gonna eat us.
Julia: It's gotta be something really fucked up—
Amanda: I know.
Julia: —and then, like, I'm gonna be really upset.
Brandon: No, it's gonna be cool and good, and it's gonna give us cool benefits and we're gonna get points added to our scores.
Amanda: So close to stealing a puppy. So close.
Julia: Chaos.
Brandon: Hey, maybe in the chaos, you can grab that puppy.
Julia: Maybe.
Amanda: How are you doing, bud?
Julia: Eric looks like he's about to throw up. Like, head between the legs.
Eric: Oh, my God. I rolled a Natural 1. Okay.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: You rolls today have been a Nat 20 and a Nat 1?
Eric: Yes. I've ro— I've rolled. They're different dice, but yes, I have. I rolled a Nat 20 for that.
Julia: Yikes.
Eric: I rolled some other stuff, but I rolled a Nat 1.
Brandon: That— is that good for us or bad for us? Who can say?
Eric: Oh, boy. Okay. Umbi, from behind you, you hear—
Eric (as Gloria): Huh. What— what time is it?
Eric (as Stump): Wait, is she waking up? Is she waking up?
Julia (as Cammie): Keep your voice down.
Eric (as Stump): No, she's already awake!
Eric (as Gloria): No, no. Why am I— why am I here— why am I awake? I shouldn't be awake. I shouldn't— I shouldn't be awake.
Eric: And then more, and more, and more mushrooms start growing on top of her.
Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no.
Eric: And growing and she goes—
Eric (as Gloria): No, no, no, no!
Eric: And the mushrooms get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger.
Julia: Eric, I cast Sleep.
Eric: Alright. You tell— tell the people how Sleep work.
Julia: Roll a 5D8, the total is how many hit points a creature this spell can affect. So starting with the creature with the lowest hit points, each creature affected by the spell falls unconscious until the spell ends, the sleeper takes damage or the— or someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake.
Brandon: Is it an AoE, like am I gonna get hit too, do you think?
Amanda: Maybe, but I can carry you.
Julia: No, it's 20 feet of a point you choose within range.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Alright. I was not anticipating this. Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna roll 4D10, and I'm gonna get HP, and then you're gonna roll 5D8 and see if you beat me, okay?
Julia: Okay. [dice roll] I rolled 22.
Eric: I rolled an 11.
Brandon: Oh, no. Jesus Christ, Eric.
Eric: I rolled so bad. I rolled a 1, a 2, a 3, and a 5. Jesus Christ.
Julia: I think I rolled a 5, a 4, a 4, a 2, and an 8.
Eric: Cool. Alright, what does that look like?
Julia: Cammie just sees this person starting to grow a bunch of mushrooms and goes—
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, no. Lavender, go to sleep.
Julia: And then blows a bunch of tea steam her way.
Eric (as Gloria): [mumbles sleepily] I'm just gonna sit back down for a second. [snores]
Eric: And the glow worm woman sits and lays back down and goes back to slurp. And the— and the little— and the little mushrooms recede.
Julia: Cammie walks over to the Stump and goes—
Julia (as Cammie): What the fuck was that?
Brandon: Yeah, can I roll up on this Stump, too? And I want to roll Persuasion, so I'm going to say—
Brandon (as Umbi): Riddle stump, riddle me this. What the fuck was that?
Eric: Hey, make a— Umbi, make a Wisdom Saving Throw for me.
Julia: Wish we had that Bless still on.
Brandon: 11.
Julia: Jesus.
Eric: Umbi, as you're stepping towards the Stump, you're getting— the Stump is looking shorter, and shorter, and shorter even with the— with their magical girl transformation, and shorter, and shorter, and you realize you're raising higher, and higher, and higher into the ground because there's just plants growing underneath you and growing— and then you get— and you were thrown out of over the side of the Grove.
Julia: Brandon, you're laughing. That's not funny.
Brandon: Funny.
Eric: Brandon Grugle, actually cast out of Eden, like fucking Adam and Eve. Swear to God.
Amanda: Congrats, Brandon, you're the first Greenfolk.
Brandon: Yeah, Umbi's rolling up on the Stump, and then that happens, and Umbi's like—
Brandon (as Umbi): What the fuck? [fades into the distance]
Brandon: And I'm gonna make sure to use slow fall, obviously, and hopefully, come pretty safely to the ground.
Eric: No, no. You can use slow fall. Yeah, give me the 1D6 for slow fall.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: I remember— it's your hat, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Or what was it?
Amanda: The flower petal, yeah.
Julia: It's his little hat. His little flower hat.
Eric: Oh, God.
Brandon: Two, so it's two rounds.
Eric: Two rounds? Okay.
Brandon: So, 12 seconds.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Nice. As you were cast out of Eden, truly, you see that the— the Harvester is still trying to clear the salt pile away. Actually, you wouldn't have known this, but now you were seeing the scythe is— is still in the pile of salt, and the Harvester is like swiping at it, and getting a little bit of salt away. And then, like, takes a second and, like, holds their hand, and then like swipes at it with another root tendril, and then holds it, and slowly is making progress into getting the scythe back, but the scythe is currently still in the— in the salt pile.
Brandon: That's good. Am I sort of out of eyesight of the Harvester right now?
Eric: We're using Spider-Man video game rules where no one ever, ever looks up.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: I love that for us.
Eric: So you have two rounds in the air, what do you want to do?
Brandon: Oh. Um—
Amanda: Look around?
Julia: Can you just teleport back in?
Brandon: I could, yeah, but I'm gonna get tossed out again. Can I just roll a Perception—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —and see if I can see the exit out while I'm up here?
Eric: Oh, good question.
Amanda: I mean, if he has rounds, can he accrue points?
Eric: That's a great question. You do have two rounds, you can't move, though. I would say that like either you— either can use this time to move, or you can use this time to try to get some points.
Brandon: Well, I still need to— the whole crew needs to get, eventually, so I think I'll just roll, yeah, some Labyrinth rolls.
Amanda: You don't have to, I— I just— my thought of it.
Brandon: No, no, like, I can get close to the exit, but what's the point if I'm not with you? I'm gonna die because he's old and weak, so—
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: We won't let you die.
Eric: Yeah, give me two Perception rolls.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: We're gonna try to get— if you can see your way out, let's see how it do.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: You're gonna need— you guys need a goddamn good Perception roll, but we'll see if you get some points.
Amanda: Brandon, you've been doing it. I believe in you.
Brandon: Now I'm going to fuck it up, because that's what happened, right?
Amanda: I don't think so.
Brandon: Because to— not because of what you said, but because of my— my roll.
Amanda: I don't think so.
Brandon: Okay. So one's an 11, and one's a 14, both plus 3, so 17 in one, 14 in the other.
Amanda: Alright!
Eric: Alright, I'm going to use the same parameters for the Survivor role. You got 1 over 15, I will give you one point.
Brandon: Wee!
Eric: You kind of see the direction of the exit of the labyrinth and you have one— you kind of have a vague idea of where to go, so I'll give you one point.
Julia: You did it, Brandon.
Brandon: Great.
Amanda: Good job.
Eric: Hell yeah. And then Umbi lands on the ground.
Brandon: But I'm not— yeah, so— but I'm still hidden, essentially, from the guy.
Eric: Well, make a stealth check for me real quick.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: I'm sensing that maybe the Harvester because his roots is, like, by boots on the ground, so that he perceives us.
Brandon: Oh. You're right, Amanda.
Amanda: Right?
Brandon: Yeah. 14 plus 2 for 16.
Eric: Okay. You land on the ground, and you freeze. Nothing's happening just yet.
Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.
Amanda: Stay frozen.
Eric: We'll come back to you.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So, Cammie, Cammie, you are walking towards the Stump, Umbi is then flung out of— out of the Grove—
Julia (as Cammie): Ah, there he goes.
Eric: —by a plant catapult, and now you are walking up to the Stump by yourself.
Julia (as Cammie): So, what the fuck was that?
Eric (as Stump): Well, now, you— now, you understand why we have to keep quiet in here.
Julia (as Cammie): I understand. That does not answer my question.
Eric (as Stump): The— the glow— the glow worm was a hero of a civilization past who came to the Divine Labyrinth to find her fortune, and through a series of unfortunate events, got a terrible curse, where for the majority of the time, she roamed around the labyrinth as a monster, but we got it under control, but she has to stay asleep.
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know if this is under control.
Eric (as Stump): It's the most under control thing we could— we're— we could think. The way that she— the thing that she acquired, the— the— the curse upon her, it— if— it only— it only activates when she's awake. Like I said, I've seen the curse things happen before. You just seem to have one— you just seem to have one of these good ones.
Julia (as Cammie): So she's also cursed?
Eric (as Stump): She's also cursed.
Julia: Cammie, like, looks at the Stump for a really long time, like a good 30 seconds of silence, and then turns back around, and is gonna go over to the sleeping glow worm again.
Eric: Cool. Troy, what are you doing?
Amanda: So this entire time, Troy has been walking slowly deadeye, Terminator-style towards the puppies. He's going to get close within probably two, three feet.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Tears streaming down his face.
Eric: True. All of the puppies see you, and all— I guess there's six of them. All six of them are now at the edge of the plot held only by their leashes and are, like, kind of jumping, like you when you're— or kind of, like, just jumping and like bouncing against the edge of their leash.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: They go— [panting and barks]
Amanda: So cute. Troy is sobbing, Amanda is sobbing. And Troy is going to kneel down and lay down his quiver, the opening facing the puppies, and say—
Amanda (as Troy): Noble creatures, would any of you like to come home with me?
Eric: [barks] [panting]
Amanda: Troy looks deep into each of their eyes, is any of them standing out to him?
Eric: I don't know.
Amanda: At one—
Eric: You don't have the right— you don't have to roll for this. Wha— which type of— of plant or bug puppy would be most interesting to you? There's a strawberry, a pumpkin, a little butterfly one, but I've only named three and I said there were six.
Julia: But there's a little butterfly one, it matches.
Brandon: Oh, that's true. Or a— what are the plums, the beach plums?
Julia: Beach plums.
Brandon: I'm trying to think of— of water-based ones.
Amanda: That's true.
Julia: Beach plum puppy.
Amanda: Okay. What I— what I do want to roll is investigation on the vine.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Can I also suggest real quick?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Cattail puppy.
Brandon: Aw, that's cute.
Eric: Yeah. There could be cattail puppy.
Amanda: Okay, I got an 11, Investigation.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: It's a little dachshund. It's a little wiener dog.
Julia: Yeah. I just really liked that it's a puppy but his tail is a cattail, right?
Eric: That's true. It's a—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —cattail body and then cattail tail.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's two.
Julia: Cute.
Amanda: I want to roll Investigation on the vine and figure out if I cut the leashes, would it harm the puppies?
Eric: The answer is no. If you cut the leashes, it would not harm the puppies.
Amanda: Troy flatly, eyes dead goes—
Amanda (as Troy): Oops.
Amanda: And takes his dagger out of his boot, cuts all of them free.
Julia: If everyone but Cammie gets evicted from this Grove, I'm going to die.
Amanda: Puts his quiver on the ground, he flatly says, "Oops." And in one stroke cuts—
Julia: Troy puts his quiver on the ground?
Amanda: It is. It's on the ground, cuts all of the leashes, and he's going to wait and see if any of the puppies run over to him. Troy cannot make this choice—
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: —it must be made for him divinely.
Brandon: That's nice.
Amanda: He cannot take them, they can choose to come with him. Okay?
Julia: I need a screenshot of both me and Eric with our hands in our heads, just being like, "Jesus Christ. My God."
Eric: Here's a funny question I didn't think I would have to ask on this podcast. Are you trying to lie to God? How much are you trying— how— how, actually, are you trying to lie? Are you actually trying to lie or you're just like performing it?
Amanda: No. He said it to be funny.
Eric: Okay, great.
Amanda: He— so— yeah.
Eric: Alright.
Amanda: Cuts the roots, stands back one foot on his quiver, looks up at the canopy of the trees, and says—
Amanda (as Troy): It's up to them, man. It's up to them what they do. Okay?
Eric: [barks] They just— all the puppies just run. They just sprint around the Grove and be like, "No!" And then boobily, the Stump tries to run after— just run after the puppies that are running away.
Julia: He's trying so hard, this fucking stump.
Eric: I mean, I have the one that I want you to have. Is that what you're doing? You're giving it up to me.
Amanda: Yes. I'm— I'm failing the roll.
Eric: Okay. And all the puppies run around, they all run around. The stump is running around after them, but one of the puppies is at your feet, and that's the pumpkin puppy, his little pumpkin body, and a little pumpkin head, and the eyes are carved into it like a Jack-o'-lantern.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: And there's a big dog tongue is out— is lolling out of its mouth. Paws, can I tell you? Paws, so big.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: So big, those paws are so big. Big puppy pumpkin paws.
Amanda (as Troy): Would you like to come home with me, sweet friend?
Eric: [barks]
Amanda (as Troy): I would die for you.
Eric: [barks]
Amanda: Troy's gonna pop the quiver back over his head, scoop up the pumpkin puppy, and tuck him in his shirt
Eric: Troy, you also noticed that the pumpkin puppy put two super old and weird arrows into your quiver.
Amanda (as Troy): Thanks, bud. We're already best friends. Havana! [whispers] Havana.
Amanda: Troy walks back over toward the entrance.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, cover for me. Havana, Havana, cover for me!
Eric (as Havana): What? What— what am I covering?!
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you, Stump!
Eric (as Havana): What is there to cover?!
Amanda (as Troy): Thank you, Stump!
Amanda: And Troy walks out of the Grove.
Brandon: Incredible. Legend. Absolute legend. The Puppy Extractor, coming this fall.
Amanda: I need a pet in every campaign.
Brandon: You can't have a pirate ship without a puppy. That's the rule.
Eric: Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah. So we're gonna follow Troy for a second. Troy, there is chaos everywhere.
Amanda: Yeah, but it's fine, 'cause I have a puppy.
Eric: There's chaos everywhere. You're walking—
Amanda: A pumpkin.
Eric: —out the pumpkin puppy.
Amanda: Yup.
Eric: Just so I have a clear idea, where's the pumpkin puppy on your body?
Amanda: Inside my shirt.
Eric: Inside your shirt, right, you put it—
Amanda: And for the first time that you guys have ever seen, Troy's shirt buttoned to the collar.
Eric: Pumpkin puppy popping out of the collar. You walk right out of the front of the Grove, and you see the Harvester—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And the— the scythe.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: The Harvester still swiping at the scythe.
Amanda (as Troy): Uh-huh. That's right.
Eric: Of the Harvester.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay.
Eric: Which is in the pile of salts. And the Harvester looks up at you.
Amanda: Troy freezes. Can he just wait in the doorframe?
Eric: You want to just wait in the doorframe?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You will wait in the liminal space?
Julia: Maybe— maybe take one step back.
Eric: You want to take— you want to wait at the liminal space between the Grove and the labyrinth?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I— hey, wife, I hate that you know me so well because I literally had liminal space rules written down.
Julia: Of course, you do.
Eric: You absolute, motherfucker.
Amanda: Gotcha.
Julia: So married.
Eric: God, you're so married. Yeah, yes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You could extremely wait in the Grove.
Amanda: Hachacha.
Eric: As the Harvester dives at you and bounces off of, like, an invisible barrier, as you were just inside of the— of the liminal space of the doorway. So there's commotion happening behind you, Cammie, as you're walking towards the glow worm woman who is laid back down onto her meadow bed.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Did she get woken up by a puppy?
Eric: As you're walk— yeah, there's— [barking]
Eric (as Stump): Stop! Aaaaaah!
Eric: I can't do this goofy voice and scream at the same time. It's very hard. They— the Stump is— is running around, tripping just every which way. The glow-worm woman kind of turns over on her mattress, and she seems to be disturbed by all the loud puppy barking.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Time to put these puppies to sleep, Julia.
Julia: No. Cammie's gonna walk over and is gonna to, like, put a finger gently to her forehead, and go, "Boop." And is going to cast Remove Curse.
Eric: Whoa!
Brandon: Whoa!
Amanda: Whoa, Julia.
Eric: Tell me about— I didn't know you have that.
Julia: Yup. Yup, I do.
Eric: Remove Curse?
Julia: At your touch, all curses effecting one creature or object, and if the object is a cursed magic item, its curse remains. But the spell breaks its owner's attunement to the object so it can be removed or discarded.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Brandon: Why don't you cast that on Cammie? Because she's cursed, you know?
Julia: Nah. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about.
Eric: I don't— it's really not a doctor here thy— heal thyself situation.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Wow. Okay.
Julia: I'm glad all that puppy stuff happened between Cammie walking over.
Amanda: That's it, baby. It's the seesaw, it's the yo-yo, high and low.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: You just like see Cammie walking over in slow motion towards the— the woman and the puppies just like going— in her field of view with, like, tongues out—
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: —like, "Waaah."
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: And a really slow version of, "Hit me with your best shot."
Amanda: I was gonna say the Chariots of Fire theme, that's even better.
Brandon: They're all just flying out.
Eric: No, it has to be an acous— it has to be a sad acoustic cover while you're doing it. Absolutely.
Julia: Yeah, it's a sad girl cabaret cover.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Cammie the— you feel the grass under you start to grow, and then it holds, and you settle back down to the ground as the glow worm woman says—
Eric (as Gloria): Why— why— why did you—why am I awake? Why am I awake? I shouldn't be awake! I shouldn't be awake!
Julia (as Cammie): No, you're good.
Julia: Can Cammie, like, brush off one of the mushrooms that's growing on her?
Eric: Yeah, you brush it off. Boop. Falls to the ground.
Julia (as Cammie): See? All good.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric (as Gloria): How? What? How did you— how did you do that?
Julia (as Cammie): I'm Cammie. I do magic sometimes. What's your name?
Eric (as Gloria): I'm Gloria.
Julia (as Cammie): Hi, Gloria. You've been here a while, huh?
Eric: She looks around.
Eric (as Gloria): I can't tell, but—
Eric: Then she, like, looks at her hair, which is down to one of her— it's one of the her many segments.
Eric (as Gloria): I guess I am. I guess I have. How did you do that?
Julia (as Cammie): Magic.
Eric (as Gloria): Well, yeah, but—
Julia (as Cammie): I don't know, magic. That's— listen, I don't really get how it works. I just know it works.
Amanda: You know what it's like to be cursed.
Eric (as Gloria): Huh. Well, thank— I— well, thank you. I am— I gotta— I—
Julia (as Cammie): The sexy Stump said that you're a hero. Do you want to get out of here or you want to help us get out of here?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, I think— I think my body— I think my body's all jelly.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, that's not good.
Eric (as Gloria): I don't think it's all— all of the various tubule— tubular musc— musculoskeletal things that is— is in fact my body. I don't know. I— I can't get out of here on my own.
Julia (as Cammie): I can help you.
Eric (as Gloria): Okay. You're gonna have to tell me what to do. I'm— I'm just a pi— I'm just a pile of worm meat right now.
Brandon: Cammie gets a best friend.
Amanda: Second best friend.
Brandon: That's true.
Julia: Let me see, spell-wise, what I could potentially do.
Brandon: Hopefully, this worm won't fall down—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: —a thing of stairs and die.
Amanda: Oh, I was talking about Audrey, so therefore, a third best friend.
Julia: Everyone is Cammie's best friend.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Let's be real. I mean, like, I'm not gonna be able to, like, carry this person without there being, like, serious repercussions, right?
Eric: I wouldn't say serious. I think you can do it if you want, but you'd have to— but you'd have to do it.
Amanda: If you get her to the entrance, Troy can carry her.
Julia: Yeah, but I don't want to inconvenience Troy either.
Amanda: Let's do this. This is my new best friend, I want her to come.
Brandon: Yeah, I don't want to leave a person behind.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: No, no, I'm not, I'm not. I'm just thinking if there's a magical— I have a magical solution to this.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: I actually have two magical solutions to this.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: It just depends on how stealthy we want to be about it.
Amanda: I don't think we're gonna have any stealth on the way out.
Julia: So we want to be— we want to be obnoxious on the way out, huh?
Amanda: That would be my vote, but I'm the one who stole a puppy.
Julia: How shenanigany do we want to shenanigans? Okay. I think Cammie is just going to be like—
Julia (as Cammie): Alright, hold on. Let's get us out of Grove, and then we can regroup, and we'll get you out of here.
Eric (as Gloria): Okay. Sure. Yes, yes.
Julia (as Cammie): Great.
Julia: And then Cammie is going to help her up, maybe put her arm around Cammie's shoulder, and is going to get her towards the entrance of the Grove.
Eric (as Gloria): Yeah, let's have— let's put a wiggle on.
Julia (as Cammie): Oh, cause you're a glow worm, that's cute.
Eric (as Gloria): What?
Julia (as Cammie): Hmm? Alright.
Julia: And we head towards the front of the Grove.
Eric: Okay. So Cammie, you are— you're heading back, you have the glow worm with you. Troy is standing right in the doorway of the Grove and the main labyrinth. The— and the Harvester is standing right there. The scythe is still in the ground, but you can see because you set it up. The pillar of salt is like way far, it's way far down.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: And is Umbi like— like on the other side of the Harvester from us?
Eric: Yes. The answer— functionally is yes.
Julia: Yeah. Umbi just don't like drop a— like plate of glasses or something like that—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —on your way past the Harvester and you should be okay.
Brandon: Well, can I make a move?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Well, am I within 30 feet of the Grove still, the Grove wall?
Eric: Of the ha— the wall? Yeah, for sure. You went over— you went over the wall.
Brandon: Okay, cool. Can I throw a teleportation bomb into the Grove?
Julia: He did say it was like overgrown, so while there may be light penetrating it, you probably can't get a full bomb through it.
Eric: You can throw— you would— maybe you'd be able to throw it out, but you can throw it in. No way.
Brandon: Okay. I am going to then throw the teleportation bomb up into the air, probably 20 feet so I can see over it, and see if I can get a little bit more view of the maze and how to exit it.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: You're popping yourself back up into the air?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So you don't— you don't have your falling with style again. You don't have your— your—your slow fall thing.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So you can't throw 30 feet, but I'm going to say that I'm gonna roll 1D10 per 10 feet you are up the ground. The higher you are in the air, the lower your DC is for you to get the point here.
Brandon: Cool. Let's do— let's do—yeah, let's do 20. Let's do it, a nice average, a midway point.
Eric: Okay, cool. Alright. So let me do your damage real quick. 8 and— I did get an 8 and 10.
Julia: Woof.
Eric: Oh, boy. Alright, 18 points falling damage, my man.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Well, that was stupid. I got a 7.
Amanda: Tough.
Julia: It's a tough one, bro.
Amanda: Tough.
Julia: It's a tough one.
Eric: Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's 18 points of damage, and you don't see anything. I'm so sorry.
Brandon: Great. Excellent.
Amanda: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Eric: You tried, though.
Amanda: I say, the only person who's all space PC death.
Eric: Incredible.
Brandon: Yeah, you see Umbi jump up in the air, and then come back down on the ground, and break—
Julia: Splat.
Brandon: —an ankle.
Eric: Land— land right on one ankle. Your hat un-flips and you land— you land right on an ankle.
Amanda: Like an umbrella inside out.
Eric: Yeah. I can't— I can't give you anything for a 7, unfortunately. I'm so sorry.
Brandon: Eric, you know, I— I’d question your— your GM-ing if you did.
Eric: Yeah, true. I can't— I can't even come up with anything funny for a 7. A 7 is so like, no, it doesn't work, I don't know what to tell you.
Amanda: The dice tell a story.
Eric: However, I can say because you did go up in the air. You do see every— what's happening here. You can see Cammie is heading over with a glow worm woman who was sleeping before. Troy is standing right in the liminal space between the Grove and the labyrinth. And the Harvester is pissed but still does not have their scythe. I also need you to do another stealth check.
Brandon: That's what I was gonna see. Maybe I can get something out of this. So roll a stealth check.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: And I'm sure it'll be a great roll.
Brandon: Well, it was Natural 1, Julia. So—
Eric: Really?
Brandon: Really.
Julia: Jeezey creasy, man.
Brandon: My thought is like, can I confirm here that it is like touching the ground, being connected to the Earth, how he finds us?
Eric: No, you can't because you rolled a Natural 1.
Brandon: Okay, then it doesn't matter.
Eric: No. So the thing is— is like— oh, I know. If I yell out, the Harvester will look away from my friend, so the Harvester just ignores you.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Just absolutely ignores you if you roll a Nat 1. Anything— any amount of good you want it to come from this teleportation thing, unfortunately, it does not happen. It cannot happen.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: But you're fine. The—the— on the plus side though, you're chillin'.
Brandon: Okay, cool.
Eric: You're chillin'. Cool.
Brandon: Besides a broken ankle?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. And the Harvester is not— no— he's not— he has not noticed you.
Brandon: Tight.
Eric: Cool. Alright, folks, you are— the three of you are now here around the Harvester. What— and the Harvester is like, almost— like growling almost, pushing against, like, the invisible barrier of the Grove. Wha— what do you— what do you do?
Amanda: So Troy's right in the doorway, kind of like nose-to-nose with the Harvester?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: With the barrier in between? Okay.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So as Cammie's approaching, Troy looks over her shoulder, and he goes—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, hey, new lady. Um, Cammie, the Harvester noticed me, but I'm not quite sure what to do. Can he even hurt us without his big knife?
Julia (as Cammie): I mean, he's big. I feel like he probably could pound down on us, you know?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, you know what you could do?
Julia (as Cammie): What's up, Gloria?
Eric (as Gloria): Oh, yeah—
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, hi, Gloria, I'm Troy Riptide.
Eric (as Gloria): Troy Riptide, nice to meet you, Gloria. Um—
Amanda (as Troy): This is my pumpy.
Amanda: And he opens his shirt to show the puppy.
Brandon: Your pumpy.
Eric (as Havana): Oh, pumpy is great. Yeah, you could just like push him over.
Julia (as Cammie): Really?
Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah?
Brandon (as Umbi): What?
Julia (as Cammie): That's it?
Eric (as Havana): Not— not a low center of gravity with those root legs.
Amanda (as Troy): Alright.
Amanda: Troy reaches out, pushes them from the, like, sternum. Troy—Troy's a father now, okay?
Eric: You— you just push— you just push through the liminal space. Oh, my God.
Amanda: Yeah, what do I do gotta roll?
Eric: No, let's do it.
Amanda: Unarmed strike?
Eric: Strike.
Amanda: Tell me what to roll, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a 19 plus 3, 22.
Eric: Troy— yeah, Troy, you just go, "Boof." You just push the Harvester over. The Harvester just falls over.
Amanda (as Troy): I didn't see that coming. Thank you, Ms. Gloria. Um, anyone need a lift? Okay. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Amanda: And Troy is, like, motioning everybody forward.
Amanda (as Troy): Where's Umbi? Havana, come on.
Julia: Well, hold on, where's Havana?
Amanda: Is he following?
Eric: Havana is not here.
Amanda (as Troy): Okay, Cammie, find Umbi.
Amanda: And Troy pokes his head back in the Grove.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, Havana, I got a puppy.
Eric: Umbi, Umbi, you're just right there.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Right.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You're just right there.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon: I just wanted to point out that it took me falling from 20 feet to fall over, and it took just a simple push over from the— I'm just saying, old man versus Harvester, you know—
Julia: It was a 22.
Brandon: —well, it was just an interesting comparison, is all I'm saying.
Amanda: It's true. It's true. I can push you over, Brandon, with that much.
Eric: Low— low center of gravity.
Amanda: Extremely funny.
Julia: Can I— I'm gonna move, but can I hold an action to see, like, for when the Harvester looks like he's about to get up?
Eric: Yeah, sure you can keep an eye on that.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Is he prone, like practically speaking?
Eric: Practically speaking, yes.
Brandon: That is good to know.
Amanda: Troy is like keeping an arm as if he's holding— holding open a door, even though there's no door there, but he sticks his head back in the Grove and goes—
Amanda (as Troy): Havana, Havana, come on. We got a— we got a hot exit and I got a puppy.
Julia: Why would you tell Havana about the puppy?
Eric (as Havana): Why do you have a puppy?
Amanda (as Troy): Come on, Come on, come on.
Eric (as Havana): Wait, you took one of the puppies?
Amanda (as Troy): They came with me.
Eric (as Havana): I don't believe that.
Amanda (as Troy): They did, ask him.
Eric (as Havana): Troy, put the puppy back.
Amanda (as Troy): I can't. We're best friends, I'd rather die.
Julia: You might.
Amanda (as Troy): I'm sorry.
Eric (as Havana): Troy, I'm not gonna go with you unless you put the puppy down. It's not your puppy.
Amanda (as Troy): If I put the puppy down, puppy comes with me, does that count?
Eric (as Havana): No!
Amanda: Troy steps inside, takes the puppy out of his chest, weeping. Puts him down. Puts him down.
Julia: No.
Amanda: Puts him down.
Brandon: Not worth it, Amanda. Not worth it. Leave Havana, keep the puppy.
Eric (as Havana): Well, I mean—
Eric: And then [bursting sound] a tree bursts out of the ground underneath Havana Tropicana. And just Havana flies into the air, falling somewhere within the labyrinth.
Amanda: Troy—
Eric: And now there's just like a palm tree where Havana was standing.
Amanda: Yeah. Like an Alolan Exeggutor.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Troy looks at the spot, scoops the puppy up, leaves the Grove.
Julia: Goddamnit.
Eric (as Havana): Waaaaaah!
Amanda (as Troy): Let's go, let's go.
[theme]