Zounds! A nefarious robot is interrupting freshman orientation and is making a mess of the school. Luckily, we have some incredibly capable superteens here to fix up this mid journey.
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
The only way you can listen to an exclusive oneshot is if you grab the limited-edition JTP VINYL now!!
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- Mage Hand Press, whose fantastic Valda’s Spire of Secrets is now available on D&D Beyond. Check out their work at magehandpress.com
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: We started a new campaign with a new system. It's a superhero high school with the tabletop RPG, Masks. Welcome to Water's Edge Academy, where the powered future washes up to the present. Set 90 minutes by train from Lake Town City, the suburbs of Jupiter, New York is the perfect place to learn about yourself, be a part of a team, and hone the weirdness that is absolutely happening to you right now. And the higher ups are just gonna publicly rank you, which will determine your future. I'm sure that's fine. Luckily, our super-powered teens can deal with it as they navigate their final year of high school. There's Shelley Craft, the daughter of a super villain, who is dealing with it by being an absolute burnout. Connor, the nicest boy whose insides we can actively see, is dealing with it by leaning into the nicest boy part. And Rowan, the secretly scariest person on the team, is dealing with it by not really using her gravity control powers to their potential. But we can't worry about that right now because they're fighting a robot who popped up at freshman orientation. So they better make a good impression as we get the party started.
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric (as Robot): I have a question, are you able to handle this?
Eric: Sitting on one of the seats next to a very nerdy-looking freshman who, with a rolling backpack, but next to him is also a suitcase that everyone assumed was his suitcase, and then out springs a robot, like traditional robotic head with, like, the light eyes and a little, like, lights on top of its head, steel body, just robotic legs, but the arms are bouncing on springs.
Brandon: Ooh, that's cool. This is a real lesson in seeing something and saying something. Don't assume the suitcases are your neighbor's.
Amanda: No.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: If you have a rolly backpack, what else could you need a suitcase for? Like, that's—
Brandon: Exactly.
Amanda: —a lot.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: That's an evil robot in disguise, baby.
Eric: The robot is whether it's— it was programmed to have a idle animation, or the fact that it is not very well put together and is leaking something from the welding cracks. It is, like, heaving a little bit so you see it's big ar— its arms bouncing on the springs with big, meaty robot hands on the end of them.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric (as Robot): Let's see if you can handle this.
Eric: And the robot spins around, starts to tornado around as all of the freshmen get up, throwing their chairs in different direction, screaming, because the robots hands produce hoses at the end and spinning around, spraying black paint everywhere.
Brandon: Oh, no, it's Splatoon.
Julia (as Craft): Why?
Brandon (as Connor): Nobody panic. Nobody panic. Let's all move very quickly, but in a single file line down the out— down outside of the hallway.
Eric (as Freshmen): Aaaahhh!
Brandon: Connor is gonna try to shuffle all the students out as fast as he can and sort of put himself between the students and the robot if he can.
Eric (as ART-AI): Even if you escape, you'll be stained by me, ART-AI
Julia: Does it, the springs were on its legs, feet situation?
Eric: No, just arms.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Just arms. Regular— real, regular, basic robot in every other capacity. Hey, folks, this is what happens when you start fighting a dangerous foe. Would you like to see the mechanics that go into that?
Julia: Sure.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: I would like that.
Eric: We're not rolling initiative at all, but there is a different thing that happens. So at the start of every session, just in general, I'm going to put one team into the team pool. Team is a resource that you can draw on to give plus one to all of your rolls.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Hooray.
Eric: You, like, assign them if you're helping other people, you can assign plus one to team. So in the beginning of last episode, imagine I had started by putting one team into the team pool.
Brandon: So it's like— just like a point we can— you can pull out and say, "I'm gonna use this team move now."
Eric: Exactly. You do the team move. It's like, "Here's how I'm gonna help," and add plus one to any roll.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: But there's a little thing that happens when you start fighting— when you enter a battle against a dangerous foe as a team. So would you say that when you're doing that, all three of you were doing that, fighting a dangerous foe?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Yeah. I'd say ART-AI is definitely a dangerous foe. I'm gonna add two more to the team there, and I'm gonna ask you some questions.
Brandon: Definitely dangerous to copyrighted works, am I right?
Eric: If—the leader has influence over every teammate at another team. Hey, who's the leader of your group?
Julia: Oh. I think it's Connor.
Amanda: I also think it's Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): I am so flattered. I can't believe y'all would nominate me to this position, y'all. This is so sweet. I've never been the leader, and this is a terrible decision you've made.
Amanda: Wow, I can't believe Connor became a debutant the moment someone gave him authority.
Brandon: No, this is what happens to me.
Julia: I trust Connor. I don't trust the chaos Gremlin that is Brandon, but Connor, the team leader.
Eric: Does Connor think he's the leader, Brandon?
Brandon: Uh, I don't think he would ever put it in that word, because he's too modest. But, yes, I mean, I think he's like— he thinks he's the one that can rally people to the cause that needs to be rallied around.
Julia: Yeah. This is his specialty.
Amanda: I think if an adult came over and was like, "What's going on here?" Craft would look at Rowan, and Rowan would look at Connor, and that makes Connor the leader.
Eric: Absolutely.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: If everyone has the same purpose in the fight at another team, what would each of you like to do during this fight?
Brandon: Stop this robot from hurting people.
Julia: Stop the robot, yeah.
Amanda: Yep. Ideally without hurting any freshmen.
Eric: Stop the robot. All right, plus one more there.
Brandon: I love the idea of me as a gremlin from the movie Gremlins, but instead of like, "Meehh," voice, I'm just a debutante.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yep.
Eric: Does any team member mistrust the leader or anyone else?
Julia: No.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: No, I don't think so.
Eric: Cool. If your team is ill-prepared or off-balance, remove a team. I would say you're— this was a surprise.
Amanda: I am not prepared to fight someone during freshman orientation, no.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Yes, I agree.
Eric: Sick. All right. So I will subtract one team.
Julia: So we're at four total.
Brandon: So there's the trigger of entering a battle against dangerous foe, and then there are four bullet points which we have to go through in order to determine how much team pool we have?
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: So I give you one at the beginning of play, in all play.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Then you get two, then you got an extra one, because Conor is an influence on everyone. Everyone has the same purpose.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So three plus one plus one is five, minus one is four.
Julia: Gotcha.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Hell yes. ART-AI is spraying everything in the auditorium with black paint right now. What do you do?
Brandon: I go, "Ew. Gross."
Amanda: "Ugh."
Brandon: "Ew. Sticky."
Julia (as Craft): Rowan, can you, like, make it less or more gravity in here? Either one, honestly. Like, whatever you want to do.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I could do that. No problem.
Brandon: And Connor is also doing the thing where he's trying to shuffle the kids out and stand in between the robot and them if he can.
Amanda: Rowan is going to, like, pop her collar to kind of protect, like, her neck a little bit, of her blazer, and jumps off the front of the stage, holding a hand out in front of her that you can see is just vibrating, at first, very subtly, and then faster and faster, where the edges of her hand are almost blurred. And she is going to push forward almost like a force field to stop this paint from going everywhere, and slowly, slowly advance on the robot.
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Ooh. That's cool. I think you just do that. That's awe— that's sick as hell.
Amanda: Thank you.
Eric: That's so cool. It's like spraying everywhere, like in a car wash.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Like soap in a car wash, the opposite, though, because it's dark paint.
Brandon: A car dirty.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: My new business plan.
Julia: I think Craft is also going to try to circle around opposite of where Connor is escorting the rest of the freshmen out. And it's going to be like—
Julia (as Craft): AI sucks.
Eric (as ART-AI): No, it doesn't.
Julia (as Shelley Craft): Really bad at just creating anything, because you're stealing from other people.
Eric (as ART-AI): It's the future. I'm processing so many things at the same time. You can't imagine.
Julia (as Shelley Craft): If you're the future, it's not looking very bright, is all I'm saying.
Eric: The— are you provoking or you're just being an asshole?
Julia: Yeah, I'm provoking, baby.
Eric: Hell yeah. Okay. So we're using— let's learn about how some of these moves work. This is great. So when you provoke someone, which is one of the basic moves we have here, you need to tell me what Craft is trying to do.
Julia: I think Craft is trying to get this robot's attention away from the freshmen who are trying to escape.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: And basically just focus their attention on Craft.
Eric: I love that. So let's roll plus superior to see if the robot takes the bait.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: What is your superior, Julia?
Julia: My superior is plus zero.
Eric: Fair.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Fair for Craft, fair.
Julia: But I did roll a seven.
Brandon: Hey.
Eric: Whoa.
Amanda: There you go.
Eric: Okay, seven. On a seven to nine, you choose one of the things on this list here, instead of them totally taking the bait. They stumble, you can take plus one forward against them, so you get plus one against them in the future. They err, you take a critical opportunity or they overreact. Did you gain influence over this robot?
Julia: I think on a 10, I get to choose. But on a seven to nine, you get to choose, Eric.
Eric: Oh, I get to choose. Hell, yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay. On a seven to nine, I can choose one of these things from this list, that they stumble, where you get plus one forward against them, so you get plus one going forward. They err, you get a critical opportunity or they overreact. You gain influence over them.
Amanda: So Julia, if you wanted to, you could use some of our team points to get you up to the 10, but this doesn't seem like a good use of those.
Julia: I would have to use pretty much all of our pool, so I don't want to do that.
Amanda: Yeah. I mean, all these outcomes are good for us.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. I don't want to give you influence over this robot and this just happened, so I don't want to do critical opportunity. They stumble because this robot, ART-AI is very poorly put together, their joints don't work that well, so they try to pivot its entire torso to spin around towards you, and then it gets stuck. So they're walking backwards, and they're— and with the— all of the black paint that started to be sprayed towards you, they are literally stumbling towards you, trying to hold their balance while also maintaining the spray. The spray is going everywhere.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: It is like a game of Splatoon, covering like 50% of the auditorium right now. Even as it stumbles to you, AI-ART focuses its hands together and tries to spray Craft right in the face. And I have a custom move that I would like you to deal with.
Amanda: Whoa.
Julia: Ooh. Okay.
Eric: Well, well, well, I made up a move just because.
Brandon: Is it called splat?
Eric: Brandon, that's a great question. You do have to name every single move and I forgot to. It's called splat.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: Yay.
Julia: There you go. Good job, Brandon.
Brandon: Thanks.
Eric: When the robot spray's painted you, roll plus savior. And because this is how— your interaction with the robot, I'm gonna say apply your plus one you just got—
Julia: Okay.
Eric: —your plus one forward.
Brandon: Oh, because the— does forward have to be the next move that you—
Eric: Forward has to be the next one, but I'm kind of forcing it, making you do it.
Brandon: Ah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Got it.
Julia: Well, I rolled a six, but with my plus one forward and my plus one to savior, that's an eight.
Eric: Wonderful. On a seven to nine, choose one, so you can choose one of a list of three that I have here. Slip and Fall embarrassingly and mark a condition. It gets in your face, take negative one to your next move, no matter who it is, no matter when you do it. And you're more surprised than hurt, but your opposition gets an opportunity.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: I'll take the negative one going forward.
Eric: All right. So whatever you do next is a formal move, you get negative one to it, because you have— you got pain all up in your face.
Julia: Fair. Fair enough.
Eric: You get sprayed all the way over. I think the double doors leading out of the auditorium are behind you. So there is a Craft-shaped hole that is, like, mural painted onto the doors that you gotta, like, wipe the whole thing off of you very cartoonishly.
Brandon: It's very Mario Kart.
Amanda: Oh, yeah. Rowan is going to try to press an advantage here as AI-ART is all tied up with Craft, and Rowan, or I guess, gravitas, because they're in hero mode, is going to try to double down the force of gravity, not just to redirect the paint, but also to try to crush the robot toward the ground.
Brandon: Ooh. Like an aluminum can.
Amanda: Exactly. So I'm trying to do like a bit of a singularity here, and pull the robot closer and closer to the earth.
Eric (as ART-AI): No going back to whence I came. Diet Pepsi cans.
Eric: There's a blue hue to the entire robot.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's actually really cool. I'm sorry, I love recycling.
Brandon: Eric, just real quick, should we have done my defend move at some point?
Eric: No, because you're just doing it.
Brandon: That's not a move? I'm confused when it's a move or when it's not, then.
Eric: So a move is only when you want to figure out what happens next, and usually, for defend, it's usually you really put yourself in harm's way.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So for example, I didn't have Rowan, like, deflect the spray anywhere. I didn't call for a move. That just fucking happens.
Brandon: So, oh, so if the robot turned towards the kids and started firing, that would be a defender move, then?
Eric: And like you're—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —explicitly getting in the way between them, then we would deal with it.
Brandon: Got it.
Eric: I think we'll— and we'll see what Connor is doing right after this, as I shift the spotlight, one of the 5,000 things I'm supposed to remember as I'm running Masks.
Brandon: Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you.
Eric: I think you're directly engaging a threat. You're gonna roll plus danger on a hit, you trade blows. So it's like they hit you, you hit them, but if you fail, they get the upper hand on you. And depending on how well you roll, some other stuff might happen. So let's see what—
Amanda: All right.
Eric: —you do. Roll plus danger.
Brandon: And danger is like the— like you being danger, right?
Amanda: I'm dangerous. I am a threat. Exactly.
Eric: You being dangerous and willing to be the danger around others.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Amanda: And because gravitas is very dangerous, she's got a plus two to danger.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Ah, shit. Unfortunately, it's only a two on the dice plus two. I feel like it's not even worth using the team to get me up to seven.
Eric: You have— you'd have to get a seven, yeah.
Amanda: That'd be almost my team.
Brandon: I mean, it might be worth it. What do you think? I mean like—
Julia: It might be worth it.
Brandon: It might be worth it.
Amanda: So, like, there's a pro and a con to missing, because—
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: —obviously, I'll be at a disadvantage if I miss, like Eric just described. But also I will get to mark potential, which is how we get more powerful in this game.
Julia: True. True.
Brandon: That's fair, that's fair.
Julia: It's up to you.
Eric: Well, every time you fail, you get potential, which leads to a level-up, which I think is neat-o.
Amanda: I think that blowing almost all of our team pool on this is not worth it.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: All right. I'm gonna mark potential. Woo!
Eric: Woo!
Julia: Woo!
Brandon: Woo!
Eric: Our first failure. Congratulations.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: Bravo, Amanda, bravo.
Amanda: Thank you. All right, well, unfortunately, I think— Eric, can I describe how this plays out?
Eric: I would love to hear you do that as you try to turn the robot back to the Diet Pepsi can from whence it came.
Amanda: So I think that much like— if you've ever tried to, I don't know, like, cover a hole in a pipe, or there is, like, something leaking, and you're trying to, like, stop the leak, the angle at which you approach really matter if you get, like, completely sprayed in the face with the stuff, or if you are able to successfully, like, cover that gap. And I think gravitas misjudges the angle of approach here.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: And so it's almost like she's trying to force, like, a sheet of Plexiglas down to crush this robot, but I think she gets the angle wrong, and something about the momentum of how the ink is spraying out, just sort of, like, flips her shield back over it, and—
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: —maybe knocks her in the face.
Julia: Aw.
Eric: Absolutely. And I think that the AI-ART takes this opportunity to turn off one of the hoses in its spring hands, whip all the way around, and just slams you into the stage. And I want you to mark the condition of afraid.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Amanda: Oof.
Eric: Bang. I can just make hard moves if you really beef it. I'm not even calling for a move. You're— I'm inflicting condition on you. You get afraid, which the next time you directly engage a threat, you have to take negative two, unless you clear it some way.
Amanda: You know what? I don't want to do again, directly engage this threat, so that makes sense.
Eric: Just— I just— this robot has— like winds all the way up and just lets that spring fly. Actually, it's not even the stage. I think it hits you all the way back to hit the back of the room.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Well, yeah, no. Gravitas arcs through the air and then, like, slides down and crumples at the back wall of the stage.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Does the wall sort of crush in— on itself too, a little bit?
Amanda: Oh, yeah. I think it would definitely crack the, like, brick.
Brandon: Or is it reinforced because it is a superhero school?
Eric: It's— I think it's reinforced with the bricks outside of the steel crumple on top of Gravitas.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Connor, what are you doing? You're taking care of the freshmen?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: So you're leading the freshmen out. I think that Craft got sprayed in front of one doorway, but I think there must be a side doorway that you're letting them out, right?
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Got it. And where does that side doorway lead to?
Brandon: Ooh. Yeah, it's just got to be sort of the main atrium lobby, right? Like it's got to be—
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: Yeah, the—
Julia: The PJ Lawbody Atrium.
Amanda: Not the PJ Lawbody Atrium.
Eric: And they shined it up so nicely, all that chrome, all that chrome got so—
Brandon: So chrome.
Eric: So chrome. All that chrome got shined up so the fresh wood would feel great. It even— and the larger than you think it should be, PJ Lawbody plaque is gleaming in the afternoon light. And you're leading the freshmen through, and AI-ART takes that opportunity to charge through that doorway. And you think that they're going to go for the freshmen, but they blow past you and just starts spraying black paint everywhere in the atrium. Go past you to just cake everything in dark, black paint. What do you do?
Brandon: I say out loud—
Brandon (as Connor): Harvey's gonna have to clean that up, you dick.
Eric (as ART-AI): If he has to clean it up, I'll just make it gross again. He does not have enough abrasive chemicals to take the stain out of me.
Brandon: I think— okay. So I think what Connor would do in this instance is try to figure out what— what's happening, why this robot is doing this. So he's going to take a big stance, make himself look big, and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Why are you doing this? Why are you here? Is there anything we can negotiate here to make you maybe stop doing this? So we can make everyone happy, and maybe you stop inking things, please?
Eric (as ART-AI): It'll be easier if you let me be.
Eric: And then signs its name AI-ART on the ceiling.
Amanda: Gross.
Eric: If you want to provoke someone, I think you got to get a little bit more in its face. But if you would like to just assess the situation, you can do that, too.
Brandon: Yeah. I think I want to assess the situation here. So Connor is going to sort of use his supernatural senses, which include vision—
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: —to sort of like take a up and down look of the situation, listen for things, try to smell things, try to get a better sense of where this robot came from, where— what's its goal, objective.
Eric: Do you have a stance that you take?
Amanda: I want to offer that this does look like Connor is checking out the robot because he, like, scans it up and down, like top to toe and then back to the top.
Brandon: And he has to, like, move his eyebrows up and down while he does it.
Julia: Wait, I never considered that Connor has eyebrows.
Brandon: Well, you don't see the eyebrows. That's the thing, yeah.
Eric: The muscle— do you see the muscles for the eyebrows? Like looking at Whoopi Goldberg.
Julia: Yes. Ah.
Brandon: Yeah, the stance is just like— you don't want to— when you're on a roller coaster, and you have to, like, bear down in order to make sure the blood doesn't go out of your brain, so you don't pass out?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very funny.
Brandon: Is that what happened to you, Julia?
Julia: No.
Amanda: No.
Brandon: You don't lose the blood from your brain when you go on roller coasters? Oh.
Julia: No.
Eric: All right. Well, let's assess the situation. This is, like, the perception check of Masks, but you are looking for answers to some specific questions that I have here. Why don't you roll plus superior?
Brandon: I would love to do that. My superior is minus one.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Connor, not a superior fella.
Julia: Doesn't feel superior.
Brandon: Doesn't— he's too modest, lack of ego. He doesn't think he is the smartest man in the room at any time. That is an 11 minus one for 10.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: Oh. Popping all the bottles.
Brandon: Fuck yeah, man.
Eric: I think that Brandon— the problem with Brandon's rolling is that he should have been rolling d6's the entire time.
Julia: We've been—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: —saying this since the Camp-Paign.
Eric: We've been saying this.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: All right. On a 10 plus, you can ask two questions. Here's a list of questions. What here can I use to blank? What here is the biggest threat? What here is the greatest danger? Who here is the most vulnerable to me? Or how could we best end this quickly?
Brandon: So I think Connor is almost always going to pick how can we best end this quickly as the first question he's going to ask.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Because he's always going to look for a nonviolent solution out of this, if there is one.
Julia: Always wants to de-escalate.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: How can we best end this quickly? ART-AI blew past you in order to cover the atrium in pain, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: The robot does not seem to be interested in— with hurting people. It seems interested in messing up rooms in the high school. So I think you could use that to your advantage of it constantly moving and not wanting to get into direct confrontations, unless absolutely necessary, to lead it into other rooms.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: And get it out of the building, maybe outside, which might be easier for you to contain it.
Brandon: Okay, cool. I love that. Yeah. Then the second question I'm gonna ask, following up on that is, what here could I use to blank? And I'm gonna say, what here could I use to guide it where I want it to go to, like— maybe not cow, but, like, entice it into following me?
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: You can literally hear the bolts and the wiring in this thing. It is badly put together.
Amanda: Never good when you can hear wiring. That's never a sense I want to use.
Eric: It is not good. So you could even hear the beeps and boops of its guiding system trying to put—
Brandon: Hmm. Are you sure about that one?
Eric: I think this robot beeps and boops, Brandon. If you could distract it or throw— even throw like a tarp or a blanket over its head, it would have a hard time orienting itself, especially because it's still backwards. Like it's still running back— its torso is twisted around anyway.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: So it's definitely vulnerable to low levels of chicanery.
Brandon: Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do, then. Connor is going to bear down, take all of this information, and he understands what he needs to do next. He looks around the room and he sees his target. He's going to take a big, old jump, jump on top of the nearby trophy cabinet.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And then use it as a springboard to jump into the air and grab the huge banner that says, "Welcome Freshmen 2020 X."
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Plus five, or whatever we did.
Eric: "Welcome Freshmen Class of 2020 X." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. And then grab the banner and throw it on top of this— or try to throw it on top of this robot's head and bring him to the ground.
Eric: I love that. I'm gonna say that you're unleashing your powers here. Unleashing your powers is the catch all move here, and I don't think you're directly engaging a threat. You're doing— you're literally acting upon things you learn from your extra sensory abilities. And also, I want to give you plus one, because if you act on answers from assess the situation, you get plus one.
Amanda: Hey. Nice.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: So why don't you roll plus freak, and we'll see how it goes. So roll plus freak plus one.
Brandon: Okay. So my freak is three, so—
Eric: Ooh, this is great. You cannot roll higher than plus four ever.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: So even if there was more stacking, you cannot add here. So you're literally at the maximum amount you can have as a modifier.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Is it that we can't ever roll more, or we can't ever change our labels past that bound?
Eric: Both.
Brandon: Oh, it's both. Okay, okay. Cool.
Eric: It is— you cannot have your labels plus three. You cannot have your labels lower than negative two. Also, you cannot roll less than negative three or more than plus four.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Julia: Gotcha.
Eric: So it is plus or minus one for your highest and lowest possible labels.
Brandon: Great.
Julia: Gotcha.
Brandon: Okay, cool. So plus four to whatever I roll here, baby.
Julia: Let's go, Brandon.
Brandon: Well, thank God, because that was a two plus two for a four.
Amanda: Ah.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: So plus four is a mixed success at an eight.
Eric: That's an eight.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: That's good.
Eric: On an eight, you still do it, but you mark a condition or the GM will tell you how the effect is unstable or temporary.
Brandon: Hmm. Do I choose between those two options or do you choose?
Eric: You can choose to either do it and mark a condition and I'll tell you what condition it will be, or I will tell you how it's unstable or temporary.
Brandon: I'll mark the condition, because I want this to be lasting.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Oh, and I'm gonna— I describe, sort of like— you know those big, old parachutes that you used in, like, kindergarten?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: —where you'd hold—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —out of the handles. That's what I was thinking. But instead, I'm going to sort of jump off the wall and wrap it up like a scarf around his head.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I love that. Connor, I think you're guilty. You feel bad that you had to pull down the great work that—
Julia: Aw.
Eric: —was put into making the banner. And they're just gonna— they're gonna be like, "Oh, yeah, the freak doesn't care. Oh, yeah, Fucking Bodies Exhibit McGee doesn't care about school spirit. That's why he pulled it down."
Julia: Aw.
Brandon: Yeah, that's fair.
Eric: So going forward when you— unless you clear the guilty, you get negative two to provoking someone or assessing the situation.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: But I think that you have wrapped ART-AI and the ART-AI underneath your weight and still trying to hold itself up, stumbles out of the door into the main courtyard.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Still spraying paint everywhere, but a lot of it is getting soaked up by the banner and it's in a much wider place, making it easier to clean up.
Brandon: And also, weirdly, very good for the lawn. The grass loves it, you know?
Amanda: Hmm. It's like a fertilizer.
Julia: Grass loves the paint, huh?
Brandon: Uh-huh.
Eric: It's really a watery paint. I think you wrap up the robot real good, so I'm gonna mark a condition. Yes, villains also have conditions.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: So I think that you got it. That's almost like following, like, the HP level of the— of this thing.
Brandon: Are they the same five that we have or are they different ones?
Eric: It's the same five, but they immediately lead to villain moves that I do as soon as—
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: —I mark a condition.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: That's fun.
Eric: So I'm gonna mark a condition and do the move that's associated with it. Stumbling forward with the banner stuffing up its paint hoses, it stumbles into the fountain. I feel like there's a big fountain—
Julia: Goddamn it.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: —in the middle and just like—
Eric (as ART-AI): Paint overdrive activated.
Eric: [explosions] Ping, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All of its bolts just pop out, and there's just paint spewing in all directions, most of it getting into the water of the fountain. The fountain is a terrible, only I can describe it as 2000s pop punk, My Chemical Romance, black now.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon (as Connor): That is a symbol of our school spirit. How dare you?
Eric (as ART-AI): And now it's a metaphor for institutions.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: I think Craft is going to look at Rowan real quick, be like—
Julia (as Craft): Bro, dude, you good?
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll be fine. I'll meet you outside.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Julia: And then Craft is gonna take off outside real quick, see that this robot is in the middle of a fountain—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —and go—
Julia (as Craft): Well, I mean, like, too easy now, right?
Julia: And then shoot fucking lightning bolt into the fountain.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: God. Craft loves doing the most— the lowest lift thing possible, huh?
Amanda: Why not?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, basic-ass shit, you know? It's a robot. Why would it go into a fountain?
Brandon: Now, I am on top of this robot's shoulders, Eric, so—
Julia: Wait, I thought the thing stumbled away. Why are you still on top of its shoulders?
Brandon: Because I'm sort of, like, directing it, or trying to direct it.
Eric: Yeah, you're hold— yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Connor is in there, but I think that Craft would still—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —shoot the electricity.
Brandon: So is there a way in which I can do a back flip off of this guy using, like, team or something? Or how would that work if I wanted to do that?
Julia: Or can I yell at Connor, "Get the fuck off."?
Eric: This is a great opportunity for you to provoke Connor to do something.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: So it is encouraged to do moves on each other to figure out what happens. So Craft, you run up, you're like, "I'm gonna electro bolt this guy." And Connor is on top of them. You think it's a good idea. Let's see how Connor feels about that.
Julia: Yeah, I think Craft is like—
Julia (as Craft): Connor, clear off so I can power down. Buzz, buzz.
Brandon: Buzz, buzz.
Eric: So, again— once again, Craft, let's roll plus superior.
Amanda: You've got this. You're so superior.
Julia: Nine.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Hey.
Eric: Nine.
Julia: Plus zero to that, but nine.
Eric: Nine. Okay, so when you do this to PCs, Connor, you get to choose on a nine, if you do it, we add team to the pool. If you don't do it, you mark a condition. On a seven to nine, Craft gets to wager if either you're going to do it or not do it.
Julia: I think you're gonna follow my advice because I did make it seem like I was powering it down and not trying to destroy this thing.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: That's my guess.
Brandon: What do I want to do here? I think we're still in the beginning phases of our true team-ship here.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: And I'm gonna be honest here, I think Connor thinks that he has a better way to end this.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: I think he wouldn't like say no, but he would hesitate too long.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: And…
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: …and hesitate in a way that makes it so that you are shocking them both.
Eric: I like this. I'm now understanding how this move works, because now nothing happens. But if Julia had wagered correctly, she could have held a condition over your head. Like if she rolled a 10, she gets the stick and the carrot. But if you get a seven to nine, you only get one.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: And I like that a lot. So Connor's is like, "Fuck no." And now, it's exactly the same. And there's tension, I like that. Because the way that it works with PCs is that Craft is doing it to Connor. Craft is saying, "Do the thing I want to do." They are trying to provoke you to do the thing they want to do. They roll on a seven to nine. They get to either dangle the carrot or the stick in front of you. Craft gets to either. If you do it, we can put a team in the pool, or if you don't do it, you're gonna get a condition. So Julia decided that if you do this, we'll put a team in the pool. But you can say, "I'm not gonna do it," and nothing happens.
Brandon: Got it.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Okay, okay. Cool. Okay. I understand now. So Connor would just sort of, like, uneasily look over at Craft and sort of, like, shake his head while he's still trying to strong arm this robot and not move out of the way.
Eric: So Connor, you're hesitating to jump off of the robot?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Let's talk about influence, because this might act— this might affect this roll.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: So Craft has influence over Connor, that means Connor listens to what Craft has to say.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Craft gets plus one to all rolls against Connor, so let's bump that up to a 10.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Oh, shit. Okay.
Eric: That would— might change things. However, Connor, you can bring that down. You can subtract negative two if you want to take advantage of your influence over Craft, because she will listen to you if you actually want to do this.
Brandon: Oh, that's fun. Okay.
Amanda: Tempting.
Brandon: I mean—
Eric: So if you want to use your influence over Craft, you can inflict a condition on them, or you could bring it back down to an eight.
Brandon: Oh, shit. Okay.
Eric: And all this happens after the roll, so this is a perfect time to tune— to invoke.
Amanda: This is so cool.
Brandon: I'm sorry, Julia, but I think in fiction, you would inflict— I would— it would inflict a condition on you, too.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: I absolutely love this, because the roll was a 10, a full success. When you don't do what they want to do, you get a condition, which I'm gonna say, is angry. You're angry that Craft put you in this situation in the first place. In the future, you get negative two to comforting or supporting, or piercing the mask.
Amanda: Oh, but Connor loves to comfort and support.
Eric: In exchange, I'm going to say that, Craft, you are insecure, because Connor didn't do what you wanted.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So you get negative two to defending someone or rejecting other's influence.
Brandon: Okay. So can we roll this back? So I was on the robot shoulders, Craft comes out, tries to provoke me into jumping off.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So that she can electro bolt the robot that's in the water, yeah.
Brandon: Julia rolled a nine and has influence over me, so that would have been a 10, which is a perfect success, a regular success.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: A full success.
Eric: Yeah. So because Craft bumped it up to a 10, no matter what, if Connor doesn't do what Craft wants, Connor gets a condition.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Oh, like it hits. Like it— a 10 has been achieved.
Eric: A 10 has been achieved, yes.
Amanda: I see.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Ah, because of the influence, a 10 has been achieved.
Eric: A 10 has been achieved.
Brandon: Ah.
Eric: But in exchange, Connor, you can take away the influence you have over Craft and inflict a condition because you're pissed.
Amanda: It's cool. So it's like, things don't cancel out, they double. Like—
Brandon: They double, yeah. that's fun.
Amanda: —fighting a friend makes you both mad.
Julia: Yeah, geez.
Brandon: So do I take my influence off of my chart here?
Eric: You take the influence away, yeah.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Okay. So I no longer have influence over Craft?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Damn.
Brandon: Craft and Connor are just both fucked up in this situation.
Eric: I know. Both of y'all are really— are upset. And all of this happens in like a second. Craft runs out, says, "I'ma zap them." And they hold for a moment, and both of you feel bad now.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: That's all it takes. And I think at the same time, Gravitas has burst out of like a side exit emergency door from the stage, like leaving through the wings of the stage, out a, you know, a, like, double fire door, and onto the front area of the school where the fountain is. And is looking around like—
Amanda (as Gravitas): What's happening?
Julia: And I think in that moment is when Craft unleashes a lightning bolt.
Amanda: Aaah.
Eric: Yeah, I think you're directly engaging a threat, and Connor is in the mix, which is gonna be a problem.
Amanda: Wee.
Eric: So let's see how this goes. What does it look like when Craft does a thunderbolt?
Julia: Oh, God. I'm trying to think how, like, fucking metal it is. You know what I mean? I think it kind of starts as sparks in the hands, and maybe the eyes go kind of white, and then electricity.
Eric: Uh-hmm. That's so cool. I think also, like, the sky goes dark for a second.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Compensating from the light, from your thunderbolt and just doing it right at the robot. Yeah, let's directly engage in a thread. Roll plus danger, please.
Julia: I rolled a six plus one because I have a plus one to danger, so that's a seven.
Amanda: Ey.
Eric: That's a seven. All right, mixed success. It's so funny, mixed successes are so tough, because at least when you fail, you get potential. So it's like, not— it just kind of— it's just kind of a bummer, honestly. On a seven to nine, pick one. Do you resist or avoid blows? Do you take something from them? Do you create an opportunity for allies or do you impress, surprise, or frighten the opposition? I would— if I could suggest one, I think that you are resisting or avoiding blows because it is a ranged attack.
Julia: I disagree.
Eric: All right, fine, that's fine.
Julia: I think I'm taking something from them in that it is the ability to spray more fucking paint.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Ah, you short them. You absolutely short them out.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: That's my favorite thing about that is, like, in the book, it was, like, take something from them. Could be like you take a weapon from them—
Julia: An object.
Brandon: —or it could be—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: —metaphorical and—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —you take their will to a fight or whatever.
Julia: Live.
Eric: Hey, do you know why you took that ability from them? Probably because the robot explodes.
Amanda: Ey!
Eric: Kapow! [explosions] Just a frame of the explosion engulfing Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): Ahhh!
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: You just see a Connor shape, like, just carved out of the drawing of the explosion.
Brandon: Is it like a really cool, hot shape, though, Eric?
Eric: It's definitely—
Amanda: It's a triangle.
Eric: Yeah, it's really cool. I need both of y'all to take a powerful blow.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Great. Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): Oops.
Eric: Oh. Oh, no. Craft— also, Craft, you also get hit by the explosion, because you're—
Julia: Oh, yeah. I'm sure I do.
Eric: —trading blows, so I think that the explosion starts with Connor, but then blows up even bigger, and just a bunch of shrapnel just flies out and gets Craft in the face.
Amanda: Rowan is going to step forward to try and cushion her allies. So I would love to just make a sort of, like, vacuum around them, and we practice—
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: —where there's enough air to breathe but not enough to let stuff through, and try to kind of, like, buffet them from the shrapnel.
Eric: So let— yeah, let's get that in a second. And if you want to spend team to help them, you can.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Is that aft— post-roll, though?
Eric: Yeah, this has to be post-roll. So Connor and Craft take a powerful blow. This is kind of in the reverse. You're trying to roll low and you roll plus conditions. So how many conditions do both you have?
Julia: One.
Brandon: Two.
Eric: Okay. So you roll and then add the— add your conditions.
Brandon: What does that mean add my conditions?
Eric: Add the number of conditions you have.
Brandon: Oh, so, like, literally, I add plus two?
Julia: Yep. Yeah.
Eric: Yes, you add plus two.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Julia: Instead of, like, you know, plus mundane or plus danger or whatever.
Brandon: Got it.
Julia: I rolled a six, which I was very excited about, but that condition gets me into that seven.
Eric: Okay. So it's seven, let's hold that for a second. And what did you roll, Bra— what did you roll?
Brandon: Well, and I'm incapable of rolling poorly on this game, Eric, because I rolled a eight plus two for 10.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Oh, man.
Eric: And now, Rowan has a choice. Rowan, you are running up to try to contain the shrapnel. You can use team to subtract one from either Connor's 10 or Craft's seven, which would bring Connor's 10 down from a— from very bad to bad, or Craft's bad to good.
Amanda: It's not even a choice. Gravitas is going to focus both hands and all of her cushioning around Connor.
Brandon: Dang.
Julia: That's fair. That's what I would do.
Amanda: Yeah. I think he's, like, higher up. I'm picturing, like, both of you being kind of, like, blasted back by shrapnel. And I think Connor's like 40 feet up, and Craft is, like, eight feet up. And—
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: —Gravitas is like—
Amanda (as Gravitas): Well, one of these folks is gonna hit harder.
Brandon: I love this panel of the comic where it's like— the colors are reversed—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —where it's like, you see just Connor as a shadow, and Craft as a shadow.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And then just yellow lightning everywhere.
Eric: I just— I love the series of reversed colors with, like, the darkness from the lightning. So it's darkness and then lightning, and then it's like red and the shapes of both Craft and Connor, and then Connor getting snatched out of the air.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Okay. So both of you roll the seven to nine. I need each of you to choose one, lash out verbally, where you provoke a teammate to foolhardy action, or take advantage of your influence to inflict a condition. We've already talked about what happens there. Craft, you can do that. Connor, you can't. You give ground. Your opposition gets an opportunity. I don't know if that's possible. Or you—
Julia: That's the one I'm picking, then.
Eric: Or you— no, you could— I— hmm, you could do that. You could do that, if you wanted to.
Julia: We'll see.
Eric: And you struggle past the pain as you mark two more conditions.
Amanda: Oh, God.
Brandon: Jesus Christ.
Amanda: Gotta get the hot nurse on the case. We're gonna be conditioned the hell up, folks.
Brandon: I mean, I think Connor would struggle past the pain here.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I love this so much that you are immediately going for conditions deep.
Amanda: Oof.
Brandon: Yeah. He's— he would like— yeah, he would just scream out in the air, like—
Brandon (as Connor): Ahhhhh!
Brandon: And then just sort of like roll into a ball on the ground.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I love that. Brandon, which one do you not want to have marked? I'll let you choose that one.
Brandon: Fuck, man. It's two out of three. I don't care at this point.
Eric: All right, I'll choose. Why don't— which one do you have marked right now?
Brandon: I have angry and guilty.
Amanda: I mean, when would Connor ever be hopeless?
Eric: I know. That's what I'm saying. I think it's impossible for— if Connor is hopeless, it is a— we're having a bad time, folks.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And it's not in episode two just yet. I'm saving that for a special edition, when he gets crushed at the prom.
Julia: That's a three-parter.
Eric: Eric, remind yourself, make Connor crushed at the prom. Save that note.
Julia: That's brutal.
Amanda: And would the addition be like, all grayscale after that? Like not even black and white, but just literally grayscale?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: So, yeah, Connor, you have everything but hopeless checked off. You are afraid, angry, guilty, and insecure.
Brandon: That's being a teenager, baby.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Craft, what about you?
Amanda: I'm three out of five right now.
Julia: I can do three out of five, I might as well. And may I suggest to you, Eric, angry and guilty do seem like the most appropriate.
Eric: Fair. Man, y'all are just having a time, folks.
Brandon: This— I don't know if this isn't in fiction, true, but this might be one of the first times we sort of fought a threat as a team, you know?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, I think that there's something interesting, because, you know, club teams are required to do security around the school, but it wasn't that hard last year. So—
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: And the reason why is that, you know, the school is out on an island, and also there's, like, some preliminary security fences around it after school is shut down for the day. So the fact that this is happening is a little odd, honestly.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: It's like when you and your friends talk about, like, how bad you are and how, like, hard you're gonna go next time you, like, run into your enemies, and then you do, and you're like, "Your shoes suck," and then you scurry away. Like a lot of time talking about how we would react and what we could do and, like, running drills, but none of that is the same as being faced with, like, you know, 200 freshmen that are really vulnerable and a threat.
Brandon: It's like reading the textbook versus actually having to do the thing, yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I think the next panel is cut— you see the opposite side of those negative panels I was describing with all of the freshmen watching the lightning bolt and then the explosion.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: And Miss Rita is standing amongst all of them. So you see, like the negative— the black negative, the red negative, and then a regular panel of no one reacting, and Miss Rita turning a concerned shade of orange. The next— and the panel after that is her going—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay. So let's— free time for the rest of the day.
Eric: Rowan, you're standing there watching everything, and you feel a big hand on your shoulder, a big blue velvet gloved hand.
Amanda: Rowan closes her eyes. She's definitely Rowan again, and not any semblance of a hero. And then looks up to her left to meet Wordsmith's eyes.
Eric (as Wordsmith): You know, I would have thought you would have gotten in the fray, after all the training you did over the summer.
Amanda (as Rowan): I— you're right. I messed up. I tried to contain it, but then it went wrong, and then I got knocked back, and then I was useless.
Eric (as Wordsmith): I wouldn't use those words, but I can't say anything that you wouldn't say about yourself. You gotta get— here's the secret, Rowan. They're not here to protect you! You're here to protect them!
Brandon: Can I pitch you an idea, Eric? What if he also does whisper words like he yells, and then also, here's a secret whisper and he make small versions.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Let me do that again. Yeah, let me do that again.
Eric (as Wordsmith): They're not here to protect you.
Eric: And it— and you see the word "you" on the wind and it floats into your face, Rowan.
Eric (as Wordsmith): You're here to protect them.
Eric: And this one literally gets into your ear, like a bug.
Julia: Ugh. Ugh.
Amanda (as Rowan): Ugh. Ugh.
Eric: And I'm going to shift your labels, mundane down, danger up.
Brandon: Now, is this because an adult has influence over Rowan?
Amanda: Yes, he does.
Julia: It's also because Eric can change our labels at any time for whatever reason he wants.
Brandon: Oh, really?
Eric: Yeah, I can change your labels at any time.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. So—
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: —when someone with influence over me tells me who I am or how the world works, I accept what they're saying or reject their influence. If I accept it, I take that label adjustment, and if I reject it, I have to roll. But frankly, Rowan agrees.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Your mundane is now at negative two.
Amanda: It is.
Eric: And your danger is now at plus three, the highest and lowest possible.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda (as Rowan): Look, it's not that I disagree with you. You just know that stuff entering my brain via my ears is like my biggest fear. So if we could just keep this to a normal level going forward, that would be great.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Rowan, you can't control everything. Sometimes it just happens at you. It's never going to be perfect!
Julia: I love him.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric (as Wordsmith): You'll get them next time, kid.
Eric: Whaaap.
Amanda (as Rowan): What was this thing? Why was it throwing paint everywhere?
Brandon: I think at the same time this is happening, to intercut, if that's okay?
Eric: Yeah, please.
Brandon: Connor is standing up, and he looks over to Craft, and he says—
Brandon (as Connor): What the fuck, Craft?
Brandon: And he punches the fountainhead and crushes the top of it.
Eric: The paint also gets all over your hand, and we really see how big Connor's hands are.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Oof.
Brandon: Yeah. And I— in mechanics, I'm trying to—
Julia: Clear your angry condition?
Brandon: —clear my angry condition—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —by hurting someone or breaking something important.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Hey, Connor! Take a lap! Take a lap!
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, okay.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Walk it off and pick up the mops!
Eric: And then a bunch of mops actually fall out from the sky.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Not these! The other ones.
Brandon: The real ones.
Julia (as Craft): What do you do with those after they just appear?
Amanda: Rowan starts just picking them up one by one. They're each about as tall as--
Julia (as Craft): Oh, no, no, Rowan, he could probably can just make him disappear, right?
Eric (as Wordsmith): I can't! Start cleaning. Craft, you're already on probation.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): It's got to be a record.
Julia (as Craft): It's like the first day. How am I on probation? I just got here.
Eric: In the way that when teenagers are complaining, Wordsmith just hard looks at you. You know the answer to this. Why are you asking? You know the answer.
Julia: Craft just shrugs like—
Julia (as Craft): What? Use your words. All right, I gotta go.
[theme]
Amanda (as Scout McGarry): Hi, it's Scout. I don't know why they had me do this, because I lost, but the winner of the One Shot Derby is Brindlewood Bay. I think being old is gross, and no, I'm not willing to examine myself for bias, because I'm perfect and therefore, can never be wrong. So I'm hearing from this little note in front of me that if you're a paid patron of Join the Party, ew, direct audience funding, really? You can expect to hear the full One Shot of Brindlewood Bay coming soon on Patreon, and it'll even be GM by Brandon. Wait, that can't be, right? He's just an editor. They can't read. No? Oh, um, well, whatever. Brindlewood Bay, whatever.
Amanda: Oh, guys, don't worry. It's me. It's me. I got Scout out of here. Hi, it's Amanda again. Don't worry. Thank you so much to everybody who voted. Brindlewood Bay was the decisive winner of the One Shot Derby. We didn't even have to go to ranked choice because it got a 50% plus majority on the first round. It was great. So thank you everybody who voted. Thank you to our newest paying patrons. I am so excited for you to hear the One Shot of Brindlewood Bay as soon as we can play it. We will let you know when it's dropping. And thank you, especially, to the new folks who have joined the Patreon this week. Karnes Left Braid, Sarah Edmonds, Charles D., The Foodie Scientist, An owl, and Bob Ogden is my fashion icon. Plus Welcome back to Lux and Valerie, who rejoined recently. Remember, folks, we are halfway to our goal of 50 new paying patrons. We have 25, we need 25 more. And once we get to 50 more, we are going to play another One Shot from one of the non-Brindlewood Bay episodes of the One Shot Derby. I am so excited. I really want to do this. Help us out, y'all. Become a paying patron at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. If you like Join the Party, you are going to love the other shows that are part of the Multitude Podcast collective. Big Game Hunger is a weekly comedy show where Jenna Stoeber and friends craft the next big video game in every episode. They start with a randomly generated genre concept and vibe, and Jenna and a variety of her funny game-obsessed friends take these ideas far enough that they could perhaps pitch it to a shadowy board of rich investors. You are going to laugh. You are going to learn something about the games industry and game trends, and yearn for titles that will surely never make their release date. New episodes come out every Monday, so check out Big Game Hunger in your podcast app now. We are sponsored once more, by Mage Hand Press, where their fabulous Valda's Spire of Secrets is now live on D&D Beyond in the form of the Valda's Spire of Secrets player pack. What that means is that Mage Hand Press have kind of distilled down their huge, ambitious Valda's Spire of Secrets, again, such a huge text for us in Campaign Three, boiled down to the best handful of options for 5e in 2024, and brought those to D&D Beyond. So what does that mean? You never have to play a human fighter again. Yay. Whether you're playing a legally distinct Spider Man rogue, there's no hyphen. That's the legal distinction. A living tree Mandrake or a murderous plushy Geppettin. Valda's Players Pack will make your next character an all-time favorite. You know how good the classes are, and this player pack includes six subclasses, two species, 12 spells, including Chronomancy, by the way, new feats, magic items, and more. Like here's just one more thing, you can play as a muscle wizard, okay? That's a barbarian that went to wizarding university on a football scholarship and beats people up with spells. If you don't love Mage Hand Mike for that one, I don't know what to tell you. So you can do two things for me, one, is go to magehandpress.com to check out everything they make and take advantage of their 10% off sale throughout April. And then two, at magehanpress.com, you can also check out the giveaways they're doing. They're giving away both 10 copies of Valda's and 10 codes to the player pack on D&D Beyond. So thank you so much, Mage Hand Press, for your support of the show. Congrats on the big launch and five years. Oh, my gosh. And now, let's get back to the show.
Tom: Hey, do you like role-playing games? Well, you should check out Mystery Quest. It's an actual play podcast where we focus on all kinds of indie TTRPGs with a rolling cast of special guests. You can find us anywhere where you get your podcasts. I'll see you there.
Amanda: The podcast we love that we would love for you to check out is Rude Tales of Magic. In this impoverished narrative role-playing podcast, you join artists, writers and comedians from such distinguished places as Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more, as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap and exceedingly rude fantasy wonderland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jesters retinue of Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very difficult and very, very rude. Whether you are a longtime lover of the series or a newbie to Cordelia, this tale is definitely one you won't want to miss. Subscribe to Rude Tales of Magic on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, that's my preferred podcatcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.
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Eric: Connor, you can clear your condition of angry—
Brandon: Thanks.
Eric: —because you now have to spend, all of you need to spend the day cleaning up the paint that has stained the auditorium and the atrium and the front of the school.
Amanda: Gravity shit doesn't even help here. Like, the paint is adhered. The molecules are no longer malleable. Like, we're just chipping and smooshing the paint around and, like, getting rags dirty. I think all of us just, like, covered in soot, like an old-timey coal miner by the end of it.
Julia: Truly, none of our powers are useful in this situation.
Amanda: No.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Not a single one.
Brandon: In fact, Connor's enhanced senses are a detriment because it—
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: —smells so bad.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Eric: Especially because in the fountain is just the bottom half of the robot, just the length.
Amanda: Sparking.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Eric, what does the school do with, like, the body of the robot? Like, if a villain attacks, and there's some, like, tech that, like, they want to study or, like, use, what do they do? Do they take the non-functioning robot somewhere to study or something?
Julia: Can I make a pitch?
Eric: Please.
Julia: There is a figure on the inside closet that all of the villain stuff gets stuck into.
Eric: Yeah, a 100%.
Julia: Until, like, someone's ready for it.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: A 100%. I think that an astral Harvey Withers is— just comes clomping up to you, like—
Eric (as Harvey Withers): Another day, another body part.
Eric: And, of course, just like shimmering with astral energy, just picks it up and glides over to that closet.
Amanda: What if there is a teacher at the school, like a teacher of calculus or something, whose power they like— they have to wake him up from sleep or take him out of the classroom every time something like this happens, because he can make a force field with his powers and so can, just, like, embed the tech, like, inside an impenetrable bubble. And he's just, like, has chalk on his hand, like his tie slipped over his shoulder. He's like, "What? Like, again?" And then just has to, like, pop the carcass of the robot into, like, a bubble.
Brandon: Yeah, that's fun.
Julia: Amanda, too responsible. I don't think the school does that. I think they just have a locked closet.
Eric: They throw that into a crate, honestly.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Well, unless you really want to do this. Here is a move that is directly from the Masks' superhero high school set that I have right here.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: If you would like to do this, you can, but there is a cost. When you put an ear out for school gossip, name it and roll plus mundane. On a hit, the GM will share the juiciest rumor bouncing around the school or the most relevant rumor regarding a person or topic of your choice.
Brandon: That's fun.
Eric: On a 10 plus, you may ask a follow-up question. On a miss, the rumors you hear are about you and they aren't good, and I will shift your labels immediately.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Damn.
Brandon: That's really funny.
Julia: Eric, I love that, but I am setting myself up for one of my Scion moves down the line.
Eric: Sure. Fair, fair, fair. So if someone— if you want to know the information about that, you can roll the— you can do this, but someone really needs to put themselves out there to do that. But I could give you more info— right now, I can't tell you because you would not know.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Unless you go looking for it or unless you try to keep your ear out about it.
Amanda: Got it. So for now, we just see it drift away with the astral Harvey?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, Astral Harvey just takes it away.
Brandon: Thanks, Harvey.
Eric: Unless you want to— you can do it about that, or you can do it about why this happened in the first place, but you'd have to put yourself out there.
Julia: Oh, yeah, I want the hot gosses to where this robot came from.
Eric: You can figure out, yeah, why was this robot on campus? You can—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —do that and you could— you can put an ear out for school gossip about that if you like.
Julia: Cool, cool. I'm gonna do that.
Eric: All right.
Julia: What's my label addition?
Eric: That is gonna be plus mundane.
Julia: Ooh. I get plus one to mundane.
Eric: Mundane is everything about just being a kid, being a human.
Julia: I got a seven plus one for an eight.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: All right. So you just get a regular hit. You just get a regular hit. No follow up questions. I'm just gonna tell you.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Do you remember last year, kind of around prom, when Joltin' Joe and Moover Hoover got into that big fight?
Brandon: How can we forget?
Eric: They were dating. Joltin' Joe cheated on Moover Hoover, and they— two electric heroes having a fight. It's going to be a problem, and they shorted out the entire school right before prom.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yep.
Julia (as Craft): Honestly, giving electric heroes bad names, but whatever. What are you gonna do?
Eric: Different or alike, you got weather powers and Joltin' Joe has the inherent energy of baseball Americana fueling her.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Just like hitting a home run so hard, it explodes the lights in the stadium. And Moover Hoover is really a— it really— is only kept alive by the hydroelectric dam in his heart. So it's all different electric powers.
Amanda: It's my favorite mountain goat song.
Brandon: The hydroelectric dam in my heart?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: That's pretty good.
Eric: And so when they had that fight, they shorted out the electricity in the school, and the prom was not only under the sea, it was powered by backups. So over the summer, they've been slowly trying to put together the electricity back into the school. Craft, you're at school all summer. You saw them trying to get an electrician to come to the school and put it all together.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Hard to do. So many buildings, so many rooms in the school. They got most of it up and running, except for the first line of defense that protects the school.
Julia (as Craft): Oh. That seems like that should be like the first thing they got up and running, but that's just me.
Eric: Well, it hasn't started, school hasn't started yet. And they were going to have— and they have senior club teams do security. But because y'all were doing the panel, you couldn't do security.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: You got double booked, and there was a window of opportunity for this robot to get in there and turn itself into a suitcase.
Brandon: So really, it's not our fault?
Eric: No, it's definitely not your fault.
Julia (as Craft): Who's in charge of the booking?
Eric: It gets assigned. You all got an email.
Julia (as Craft): Well, I'm just saying—
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —suspicious.
Eric: When— if only you did better than I could—
Julia: Yeah. I should've followed up.
Eric: —you could ask a follow-up question.
Julia: Oh, well.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Not possible.
Eric: Not possible. So that's what— yeah, that's what happened.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Wow. Wow.
Eric: Wow.
Brandon: Wow.
Julia: Suspicious, wow.
Eric: Wow. I think you all spend the entire rest of the day cleaning up the paint. Like until the sun goes down and the lights turn on and— which is saying something, because it's still— this is, like, before school starts. It's still summertime. I think it's like eight o'clock. Someone probably brought you out sandwiches and just, like, threw them from far away at you while you're still cleaning it up.
Julia: Ow.
Eric: The paint also stains. You are cleaning as much as possible, but the paint— no matter how hard you scrub, there is still the— an outline of the black paint everywhere.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, you can see me better.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Yeah, including your hand, Connor. Around that time, Miss Rita comes out with a tray of cafeteria cookies, big, underbaked.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: They're called chocolate chunk, but I think that's both under and over selling them, because there's three very large chunks of chocolate—
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —and that's it. No more than three, no less than three chunks of chocolate.
Julia: No wonder they're underbaked.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Rowan floats one over to herself, and you see it disintegrate in the air into just three, like, balls of cookie dough, each with a chip in the very middle.
Brandon: That's fun. And they start orbiting around each other.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Such prowess, such skill over her powers.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Just opens her mouth, falls back, and they fall in.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah. All right. Anything that's as good as you're gonna do, take a break. Connor and Rowan, can you sort the real— can you sort the mops we had before from the ones that prince— from the ones from Principal Wordsmith? And—
Brandon (as Connor): How?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Well, you see—
Brandon (as Connor): How would we possibly do that?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hey, does that one say mop on it?
Brandon (as Connor): No.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay, so it's a real mop.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Does that one say mop on it?
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Brandon (as Connor): Yes.
Eric (as Miss Rita): It's literally the word "mop" is etched into the side.
Amanda (as Rowan): Huh.
Julia (as Craft): What are— wait, what are you gonna do with the mop labeled mop?
Brandon (as Connor): Do we have to like— do we have to eat them?
Eric (as Miss Rita): They integrate— no, they disintegrate after a while.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, no.
Eric (as Miss Rita): That's why we're separating them, so we don't—
Julia (as Craft): So why don't we just like, leave them there? Whatever, it doesn't matter.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Because there's— I'm not— Cra— oh, my God, Craft. I gotta— Craft, I gotta talk to you. Can you guys finish this up?
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just leave the cookies.
Amanda: You see Connor and Rowan starting to walk away toward the, like, lawn, scattered with mops and the cookie platter is just floating behind them.
Julia: Incredible.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.
Eric: Connor holding 30 mops.
Amanda: As Rowan points—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yes, no. Yes. no.
Eric (as Miss Rita): You know, I thought we'd have a chance to talk about this, but you were busy, uh, today. So I wanted to grab you before you went—
Julia (as Craft): Fighting a robot and then scrubbing stuff, yes.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Before you went back to your dorm, I wanted to grab.
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Eric (as Miss Rita): How's it going? How are you?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, you know.
Julia: Just see Craft pop a gummy.
Julia (as Craft): You know, like—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Can— don't— can you just not do it in front of me?
Julia (as Craft): It's just candy. I don't— it's candy.
Eric (as Miss Rita): No, it's not. It's in—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Do you want one?
Eric (as Miss Rita): No.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Can I give you some advice? Don't just give— don't give school staff— don't offer them drugs. That's just a that's a thing— advice you can take with you, hold it in your heart.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, why do you think me and Withers are so tight?
Eric (as Miss Rita): All right. Yeah, I know— I'm not even going to respond to that, because I know it's a joke, so I'm gonna move on and say the thing I wanted to say. We didn't discuss if you were opting in of— in or out of counseling this year.
Julia (as Craft): Uh—
Julia: Just real long, trails-off.
Brandon: It covers like three panels.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): Uh—
Julia: I think— picturing the comic book, you're watching the "uh" as it covers three panels, as Miss Rita slowly turns a different color as like— as Craft starts, like, panicking and feeling really guilty, but not letting it show.
Eric: I know. She, like, turning up the brightness on a photo.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: She, like, slowly gets more and more white into her color.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Listen, I, you know, I— we gave you a few weeks to think about it. It's not mandatory in your—
Julia (as Craft): Anymore.
Eric (as Miss Rita): —set anymore, right? And I think it really helped you, for at least— I thought it was really helping, and I know that you had a tough year last year, so I would recommend it, and I would love to see you. But because you're a senior, and it's not required in your admissions anymore, it's— you gotta— you literally need to tell me so I can mark it down in a form if you're doing it or not.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, Miss Rita, you know I love spending an hour with you every single week.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I do, too, with you.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. So, like, you know, I guess, yeah, sure.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay.
Julia (as Craft): Why not?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Sure.
Julia: Pops another gummy.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Just don't do it in front of me. Are you— you're taking to gummies because you're feeling a type of way about today, or something else?
Julia (as Craft): I feel like this is my baseline, actually. Like, this is just, you know—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Sure, okay. Listen, I— you know, did your dad contact you today? I know he loves to do that right before the school year starts.
Julia (as Craft): No, but I'm sure there's gonna be, like, a drone in my room when I go back, so—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah. Yeah, okay. And you know what you're supposed to do when the drone shows up?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, I usually just destroy them instantly, but—
Eric (as Miss Rita): And I said don't do that. We can— but— sure. Okay
Julia (as Craft): What do you want?
Eric (as Miss Rita): I mean, I would like it to take it where we took the robot legs and put it in the—
Julia (as Craft): Oh, in the weird interdimensional closet, yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So we can analyze— I shouldn't have told you that. So we can analyze it for help for later.
Julia (as Craft): Sure. I mean, it's like the same design of drone every time. I thought after, like, the first, like, six, you guys probably had it going, but—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, we haven't— you know, you haven't—we haven't filed— you started destroying them— like, you started destroying them—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): —so we got—
Julia (as Craft): Well, they just got so annoying, Miss Rita.
Eric (as Miss Rita): That's fair. That's fair. Okay.
Julia (as Craft): They emit this really high-pitched tone that I know the adults can't hear, but I can hear.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah. Sure.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. I don't know if he even knows that it does that, or if he's doing it specifically to just annoy the crap out of me, but—
Amanda: He’s too old.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hey, I— you know, I— have you looked at your phone today? Have you looked at the news?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, shit. I have a phone.
Eric (as Miss Rita): You left it in the dorm again.
Julia (as Craft): I almost forgot about that.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I didn't want to— I guess—
Julia (as Craft): Oh, no, you're gonna tell me bad news that I'm gonna see in a text message in, like, 10 minutes when I figure out where I put that.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah. Dr. Prometheus snowed the Cube, so he's out.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, it's gonna be so many drones now.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So I— that's why I asked.
Julia (as Craft): Because he was like— he was just making them out of, like, cans he got at the commissary before, and now he's gonna have, like, real shit.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, he's so—
Brandon: He snowed the Cube?
Julia: Yeah, he snowed the Cube. He did a bunch of cocaine.
Eric (as News Anchor): Breaking news, villain prison, the Cube turned into a Winter Wonderland. And Dr. Prometheus is out of— out and about on the streets. If someone comes up to you, asking you how the weather is, we advise—
Julia (as Craft): Don't answer.
Eric (as News Anchor): —all of you to go to a hero as quickly as possible.
Julia (as Craft): That's his favorite line. It's so fucking stupid. Doesn't even make sense half the time.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia (as Craft): Well, he'll be like indoors and ask what the weather's like.
Eric: There's like a helicopter shot of the Cube, which— a nefarious villain prison. In my head, I think it— like it's on a corner. It just like spins constantly.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Google the Astor Place Cube in New York City. It's that but, like, 400 feet tall.
Eric: Yeah, it's massive, and it is just, like, covered in snow. There is a one very large cloud hovering above it, just snowing perpetually on top of it. There's some, like, minor villains throwing snowballs at each other on top of the Cube.
Brandon: Yeah. Sledding.
Eric: Sledding, and then getting taken out by superheroes flying by.
Julia: Craft's watching and goes—
Julia (as Craft): That one guy’s my godfather.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So just, you know, keep your eyes out.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I didn't mean— I don't want you to associate me with bad news, but I felt like I had to tell you.
Julia: Craft puts a hand on her shoulder and says—
Julia (as Craft): Miss Rita, never.
Brandon: How tall is Miss Rita? Be sure, like, four-three.
Julia: So small.
Eric: So small. Five foot and a half inch, my friend.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: A full foot and a half taller. Craft is taken like— when they're outside and they have to have a heart-to-heart to just, like, squatting in front of Miss Rita..
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): And Craft, can you do me a favor?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I think— you know, if this has been good for you, I think if you could ask Rowan if she wants to come by every once in a while, I think it might— that might work out for her.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Because, like, Connor is, like, the most well-adjusted young man I've ever seen. He's fine.
Julia (as Craft): He did punch the fountain to death today after he was pissed.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I— it happens, you know? He's really—
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Miss Rita): —transparent.
Julia: Fuck. Fuck.
Amanda: All right, folks, let's wrap it up.
Brandon: Podcast is over. Woo!
Amanda: Wrap it up.
Julia: Craft reaches into her pocket and just, like, taps a little, like, blunt into her pocket, being like—
Julia (as Craft): That's pretty good.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Thank you. Thank you. But you know, Rowan has never— Row— you know, I know Rowan's usually busy doing stuff, and you know, we were supposed to have check-ins with every senior, especially in the start of the year. Could you just remind her that she has to come?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Great. Thank you.
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Please do that. That would be really helpful for me.
Julia (as Craft): Yes. Yes. I have a— I have to find my phone.
Eric (as Miss Rita): You probably— you left it in the same place you always leave it. Let's say on the same time, 1, 2, 3, under your bed.
Julia (as Craft): Bathroom garbage.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay, so either one of those?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, okay.
Julia (as Craft): It's probably one of those places, right?
Eric (as Miss Rita): For sure.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda: I could just sit here watch Julia and Eric interact all day.
Eric: Cool. Hey, Craft.
Julia: Hey.
Eric: Do you think you were vulnerable with someone?
Julia: I think I was today, yeah.
Eric: So you have these things called team moves, which I think you just activated that I would love to look into.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: So every single character has one of these, but I would love to activate yours.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: When you share a vulnerability or weakness with someone, ask them if they would defend you against those who mistrust you. If they say yes, clear a condition and shift savior up and any other down. They say no, mark a condition and shift danger up and any other label down.
Julia: Oh. Am I asking Miss Rita that?
Eric: You ask Miss Rita that.
Julia (as Craft): Miss Rita, in light of Dr. Prometheus being, you know—
Eric: Do you call him the doc?
Julia: Oh, fuck yeah, I do. Yes.
Eric: Yeah, dude.
Julia (as Craft): Miss Rita, in light of the doc being, like, out and about again, you know how people get about me?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): Are we good? You? You and me?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, of course we are.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. And, like, if someone's talking shit about me to you, like—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Then I would take the serum in the chemistry lab that makes me super strong and I would slam them up against the locker, I told you.
Julia (as Craft): Fuck yeah. All right, cool. Thank you, thank you.
Eric (as Miss Rita): And, like, my arms would get all big and hairy, and I'd be like, "Hey, stop talking about Craft that way. Stop talking about Shelley Craft that way. She's great." That's what I would say.
Julia (as Craft): That's very nice to say to me.
Eric (as Miss Rita): And then I would have to go through, you know, like, weeks of physical therapy to, like, undo my big arms. But I do it—
Julia (as Craft): Right.
Eric (as Miss Rita): —because it would be— it would look cool and I'd do it for you.
Julia (as Craft): It would look so cool.
Eric (as Miss Rita): It would look so cool.
Julia (as Craft): Very cool.
Amanda: Sweeties.
Eric: Nice. So you can clear a condition and shift savior up, and any other label down.
Julia: I'm gonna— after that, I'm gonna clear insecure.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: That feels right.
Amanda: Cute.
Julia: Savior up, you said?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: She trusts you!
Eric: And any other label down.
Julia: I'm gonna break my freak down.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: To negative one.
Eric: Did this grok with any of your other— your respect stuff?
Julia: Oh, did I earn influence over her, though?
Eric: Yeah. So I would say that because you decided to come back to counseling—
Julia: Oh.
Eric: —Miss Rita would give you influence over her, because she cares about what you say and making sure that you're open. So because of the Scion, I'll give you one respect.
Julia: Excellent. I don't gain influence, I only gain respect.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: I just want to point that out for the fellow folks.
Eric: If you get four respect, you get, like, super bonuses with someone.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Yeah, I get to take an advancement, and I can either reject their influence at plus three, or I can take plus one to a label of their choice.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Which is cool.
Eric: Sick as hell.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: Nice. So I want to do something at the end of this session, and I want to try to fit this in to how we do Join the Party and Masks, because I want to do our first end of session move, but I don't—
Brandon: Wee.
Eric: —want to have this to be the last scene of the episode, okay?
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Makes sense.
Eric: But I would love to do this if we could give it a shot.
Brandon: Let's do it.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Cool. So ordinarily, at the end of every long game session of Masks, because you're supposed to do this, but I want to, like, slot it in every once in a while when we feel like something has come together, when it feels like we found an end to this comic book, to this issue of the comic book.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Hmm. Love that.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: So at the end of every issue.
Eric: At the end of every issue, yeah, whatever that is.
Julia: Got it. I like that.
Eric: Not even necessarily arc of whatever a comic book— whatever a episode to issue, you know, ratio, right?
Brandon: Yeah. I love that.
Eric: So, yeah, every two or three episodes, we'll see, we'll see. So at the end of every session, this is the language from Masks, choose one. You need to tell me if you grew closer to the team, if you grew into your image of yourself, or you grew away from the team. And then there's some game mechanics describing each one of those.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: Huh? I wonder which one we should pick. Is it everyone individually, or is it us as a team?
Amanda: Everyone individually.
Eric: Everyone individually.
Brandon: Individually, cool. Okay.
Amanda: I think it's pretty conclusive for Rowan. I think she grew into her image of herself.
Julia: Which is not necessarily positive.
Amanda: Which is not necessarily positive. Specifically, I think she feels like she did a bad job being a savior. I think I'm going to shift my savior down from zero to negative one and my freak up from plus two to plus three.
Eric: Yeah. So what you're doing, if you grow your image or yourself, explain how you see yourself and why, and then you shift one label up and one label down.
Amanda: Yeah. So she did a shit job of being a savior today, and a great job of being a just like dangerous variable.
Brandon: That's a cool superhero name too, though, Dangerous Variable.
Amanda: Ooh,
Julia: Ooh.
Amanda: Or like a stripper. Where a stripper is also a PhD candidate in, like, mathematics, you know?
Brandon: Yeah, I love that.
Julia: Damn, dude.
Amanda: Hmm. If only we had content coming up where we made a lot of names of superheroes.
Eric: See, what— isn't that a good idea?
Julia: Hmm. Hmm.
Amanda: What an interesting reason to join at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.
Brandon: Huh?
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Craft, Connor, how do you feel about what happened today?
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Not great. Not great, buddy.
Brandon: I don't think good. I don't think good. Yeah, I think for me, definitely grow away from the team.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: Explain why you feel detached, Connor obviously feels like he both fucked over a teammate and also—
Julia: Was fucked over.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —was fucked over by a teammate.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: And yeah, just did not slot into the team very well in that moment.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: I feel like Shelley's situation is very similar in that regard.
Brandon: Yeah, I think he feels obviously detached because he feels guilty about it. So he, you know, sort of, like, avoiding eye contact with Craft at the moment.
Julia: Yeah. And Craft feels detached because she's taken a lot of gummies.
Eric: So for both of you, you can take influence away from someone on the team. Connor wielded his influence against Craft, and I think that's already gone. So Brandon—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So I don't think that Brandon does anything. But I think that Craft should remove the influence that she has on Connor.
Julia: Gotcha. I got influence on nobody now.
Eric: Craft just out here vibin'.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Hey, I got one more thing I would like to do.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Is it a pizza party.
Eric: It's kind of, if you think about the first day of school as a pizza party.
Brandon: I don't.
Julia: I mean, yeah.
Eric: You don't?
Brandon: No.
Eric: No, you don't?
Brandon: Not really.
Julia: Inly if they're actually throwing me a pizza party.
Brandon: Which has never happened to me. I don't know, but y'all—
Julia: Hmm, no, I don't know about that.
Eric: I would like to skip forward to the first day of school. We see Water's Edge Academy brimming with life. Every student pushing themselves to be their best self, starting with a fresh start. Obviously, nothing can ruin this blank page in front of us, except for the stains that are still on the school that you tried to clean up as much as possible. I hope that's not a metaphor. We'll see what happens, huh?
Julia: Oy.
Eric: We wind our way through the school, friends seeing each other for the first time over the summer, new roommates bumping into each other, new clicks forming, cemented friendships breaking. You can see all of it in front of you, so we wind our way through the school. Principal Wordsmith shouting welcome every minute or so, so it just kind of keeps reappearing over his head. And let's go to a new class for each of you, because you're seniors, so you get to do your senior seminar. So we're winding through the school, and we take a right at one of the larger lecture halls in the entire school, because the entire senior class needs to fit in there. Of course, it's like no more than a 100 of you. You know, I think that there becomes less and less students as y'all go on.
Brandon: Because some of them died and they're lying on a battle.
Amanda: Some of them died, some of them are tired, some of them get poached by industry.
Eric: And as all of you start to file in, you see your teacher bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of a projector with the slide, "Senior Seminar: Villain Studies."
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: And your teacher is literally bouncing. He is not just bouncing out of excitement. He is bouncing a full foot off the ground every time he bounces on the balls of his feet, because there's only one teacher who teaches Villain Studies, and that is Dr. Mohinder Ram, formerly known as Moonboot.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: He was a pro hero for a while, until he went back to school to study the behaviors of villains and he has a doctorate from Morrow University. As soon as he graduated, they picked him up at Water's Edge, because who's better to talk about this stuff than someone who's literally been studying villains and fighting villains for his entire life?
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Dr. Mohinder Ram is Indian, darker complexion, black hair. You know, he spends a lot of time on products and cream to have his black hair wavy and just hold while he is constantly bouncing.
Amanda: Ah.
Julia: Yeah, he gotta.
Eric: Button-down shirt, tie, slacks, and incredibly scuffed wingtip shoes, probably because he's bouncing all the time and bad— it's hard to stop.
Julia: You know, anyone else would just wear a hat, but I like the commitment.
Amanda: Hmm. That would have to be tied down, though, and that's never a chic look.
Julia: Then a helmet.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric (as Dr. Mohinder Ram): All right, everyone take your seats. We got a lot to cover. First Class, first class. All right, first class. Here we go. I am Dr. Mohinder Ram. You can call me Dr. Mo, you can call me Mo. You can call me Dr. Ram, but I will be able— I will revoke any of those if you're doing bad in my class, and I'll make you call me Honorable Dr. Mohinder Ram, and you're going to have to write it on all of your papers.
Julia: HDMR.
Eric: No, full thing, full thing. You cannot skip out. You will lose points if you are a— if you are in in a bad spot from there.
Brandon: I just want to quickly note that Connor settling in, obviously to his chair, into his seminar chair, but in this school, because there's so many people of different sizes, two of the desks sort of, like, combine into one, where he can sit down on it comfortably.
Eric: Oh, you can, like, slide them together?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Oh, my God. A mod— modular lecture hall?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I love that.
Julia: There's also definitely a full, like, Costco-sized box of Twinkies already waiting on Connor's desk.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Just saying.
Brandon: Where are they from?
Julia: Who can say?
Brandon: Who can say?
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Who can say?
Eric: Does it have a note on it?
Julia: Nah. Nah.
Eric: Nah, just nah.
Julia: Nah.
Eric: Nah, nah.
Brandon: Connor looks around and is kind of confused, but then, sort of like slides them in his backpack for later.
Amanda: His giant backpack for his giant shoulders.
Eric: The biggest backpack.
Brandon: He tries really hard not to eat in front of other people because it is gross for them.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I think a bunch of people are looking at Connor, seeing if he's gonna eat the Twinkies or not.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Is that a sacrifice to absolve my guilt?
Eric: Is that a sacrifice?
Brandon: You did give up some of your munchies.
Amanda: Did you use, like, all your discretionary?
Julia: That is all my discretionary, Twinkies.
Eric: Oh, okay. No, give— what are you actually sacrificing for the Twinkies?
Julia: My munchies for the next, like, week?
Eric: I would say, no, it's not, but if those were, like, your last few bucks that you spent on the Twinkies, I'd say yes, and you were kind of broke for the beginning of school.
Julia: Oh, I do really like the idea that I have Emily Slaughter's credit card.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: And I can spend, like, $100 on Twinkies.
Eric: Okay. Please write that down. If you are charging Twinkies to Emily Slaughter's credit card, you are sacrificing.
Julia: Yeah, but it is to her business card.
Eric: Yeah, oh, a 100%. It has to be—
Julia: All right, great.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: All right, cool.
Brandon: You know she doesn't read her statements.
Amanda: There's gonna be a time in the future where you have to explain what this was for and either show that you messed up or make up a lie.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Cool. Yeah, yeah. You got just like a $100 Costco charge on the corporate— on Emily Slaughter's corporate card.
Julia: Yeah, great.
Eric: A 100%. Okay, boom.
Julia: All right.
Eric: Sacrifice.
Amanda: Rowan is watching this happening, just like eyes darting between her very large teammates, and just sits gingerly in between them.
Julia: Oh, and Craft leans over to say—
Julia (as Craft): I gotta talk to you later about a thing.
Brandon: Now, that is a good point of contention here, because you say between us, Connor is in the front row because he's Connor. Does Craft sit in the front row?
Julia: I think Craft sits where she expects her teammates to sit.
Brandon: Hmm, okay.
Julia: If Craft was by herself, last row, obviously.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Julia: You know?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: But—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: —because she wants to try to make amends with the team, decides front row all the time.
Brandon: Fair.
Amanda: As she settles in and pulls like a leather portfolio of like a notebook out of her bag, Rowan looks, like, left to right, Craft to Connor, and is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Are we going to be normal now? Are we gonna be normal now?
Julia (as Craft): I'm—
Brandon (as Connor): The lecture is starting, it's starting.
Julia (as Craft): I'm the most normal—
Julia: Craft, eyes completely red.
Julia (as Craft): I'm the most normal I've ever been in my entire life.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's not true.
Julia (as Craft): Uh—
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, are you going to be okay with all this villain stuff?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, yeah. This is like— the doc's escaped like five times since I started going to school here. It happens. It's fine. It's whatever. I'm good.
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, I guess just like studying your sire in, like, a class all about how villains operate.
Brandon (as Connor): Guys, shut up. I'm trying to take notes. How— excuse me, doctor?
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Yeah,
Brandon (as Connor): How do you spell your last name?
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Just R-A-M.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Ram.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.
Julia: Craft flips through the syllabus to be like—
Julia (as Craft): Is there a fucking Dr. Prometheus chapter? That's fucking stupid.
Eric: So funny. This is a good game.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Before we start reading anything, before we start getting into the case studies and the observation that you're gonna get into, and all the other things that we're gonna do in this class, I will— I like to take the first class to tell you the most important lesson that I think you will need going into the world as professional superheroes, as powered individuals, whatever happens to you after the school. I want you to keep this in your mind and remember when Dr. Mo told you this lesson, okay? Like, take a mental picture. All right?
Amanda: Someone sticks up their hand in the back of the class.
Amanda (as Senior #1): Will this be on the test?
Eric (as Dr. Mo): In the way that your life is a test, yes.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Oh, no. Rowan, like, doubles over, her stomach hurts.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): I want you to remember this.
Eric: And this is an old school projector, so he's standing in front of it, still bouncing a little bit.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: And click, the next slide comes up, and you see the words, "There is no such thing as the multiverse."
Julia: Goddamn it, Eric.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): If someone tells you there is a multiverse, no, it is not.
Julia: No. No, there isn’t.
Eric: No—
Julia: “No, it is not” is really funny
Eric: No, it is not. No, he says, no, it is not.
Julia: Craft is like—
Julia (as Craft): That— wait, what?
Eric (as Dr. Mo): This is the biggest problem with modern superhero students that because of recent media about the multiverse, they are too consumed with all of this happening. I'm telling you, there is no such thing as the multiverse.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Hold your questions, please.
Julia (as Craft): Wait—
Eric (as Dr. Mo): I'm gonna get to it, I promise. Hold your questions.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): If someone tells you they're from another multiverse and need your help, no, they're not.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): If someone says there is a multiverse, and here is some art based on it, they're lying. It's for money.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): If someone says we can harvest resources from other dimensions, and we should do that, they're lying to you. There are no other dimensions.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Here are some examples you might run into.
Eric: There's like a stick figure drawing of like a stick figure watching a TV— watching TV.
Julia: Goddamn it.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): If you're watching TV and someone is telling you and you're watching a superhero show where there is a multiverse, that is because the Disney Corporation is invested—
Amanda: Oh.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): —in making it easy— making more people susceptible to whatever they— to whatever their plans are. I'm not here to tell you what the Disney Corporation is up to, but I am here to say that it will be a problem for you if you believe it. You are susceptible to the economic forces that want you to do things if you believe in the multiverse.
Brandon (as Connor): I— is a Disney Corporation a villain or is that like a bad guy?
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Any— for these— for the discussion that we're having today, a villain is someone doing something bad, usually in opposition towards superhero do-gooding. So yes, a corporation doing economic forces against the peoples and wielding that against you all is a villain in this situation. Of course, there are other villains who will literally do this.
Eric: Click, click. There is a microfiche of newspaper of saying, "Alternate Version of Dr. Cassandra Morrow, who is more attractive than this Cassandra Morrow wins mayorship."
Eric (as Dr. Mo): You see, this happened seven years ago, and we believed it, and we realized it was just MetamorphiSis trying to get power and control of the city. She was going to run for Senate. It was a problem.
Julia (as Craft): Real quick, Dr. Ram, what about that ghost guy who says he's from a different dimension?
Eric (as Dr. Mo): I don't who— I don't— can you— I don't know who you're talking about. Can you—
Julia (as Craft): Like the ghost guy, but he was space-themed for some reason, I don't fucking know.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): So there— I was— I asked for no questions at the end, but luckily, this is the next slide.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): Time is an infinite wine, dark sea we cannot understand and it is guarded by the time shark.
Eric: There is a drawing of a shark, and just like— and he drew this in Sharpie, and there's just, like, a lot of swirling markers around a drawing, a bad drawing of a shark.
Amanda: Wearing sunglasses.
Eric: Wearing sunglasses, yeah.
Julia: Wearing sunglasses.
Eric: Wearing sunglasses.
Julia: Obviously.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): It constantly shifts and cannot be tracked. Even with the best computers and the smartest scientists throughout the galaxy, it would take the millennia— it would take a millennium to make the equivalent of asking someone for directions and they say, "Yeah, just turn left at the big red barn and keep going there." That is all we could do. It is not just— there is randomness involved in how our universe fits together, but is not beautiful. It cannot be tracked—
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): —by an agency, and certainly not a cute mascot of a clock.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): It is not on a number. It cannot be on a timeline. It cannot be charted, it cannot be figured together. It is not part of the Erdtree.
Eric: Click, click.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): I talked to Odin. He does not believe in that, and certainly not the serpent that protects the World Tree, either.
Eric: Click, click. Big bold letters, again, drawn in Sharpie even— he scanned in, "The multiverse does not exist."
Eric (as Dr. Mo): You should protect yourself with this information, and very little will surprise you going forward. Who has questions?"
Eric: And then everyone's hands shoot up.
Eric (as Dr. Mo): We'll get to it, but first, I want to give you your first assignment of Villain Studies.
Eric: Click, click. And that is when we get the splash panel for the title of our first arc, Interview with a Villain.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Ooh.
[theme]