Groowwrr! What’s more of a danger, a malicious-looking ooze in a suit or a preteen girl who can turn into a ethereal jaguar warrior? The super students will have to access their power in order to tackle both at the same time.
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
The only way you can listen to an exclusive oneshot is if you grab the limited-edition JTP VINYL now!!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: The seniors start on their first project, interview a villain and try to drill down to why they do what they do. Connor's aunt, Anita Tigre, who works high up at Heroes 4 Hire, slips him some secret info about something going down at 42069 Greenway Pines Place, a housing development in the suburbs nearby. As they walk up on the house, they see an ooze in a suit aggressively ringing the doorbell of the house they're going to. Rowan tries to hold the ooze in place, but escalates the situation when she knocks all of the houses off their foundation, and the homeowners are pissed. Not only that, the light of the setting sun hits a 12-year-old girl standing in her doorway, and she transforms into an ethereal jaguar warrior and sprints away from the team. It's your worst enemy, middle schoolers. Let's get this party started.
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric: The cover of Interview with a Villain, episode two is a cover of Zoobooks. If you remember Zoobooks, they—
Amanda: Of course.
Eric: —taught you all about animals and you could order them over the phone, and you—
Brandon: The animals?
Eric: The— no, the Zoobooks.
Brandon: It was a catalog where you could— that'd be fun.
Eric: I mean, kind of. It's like— it was a magazine for kids to teach you about animals, right? And had this brilliant colored border around the cover, and it said Zoobooks and it was centering usually around one animal. But what this is centering on is animals of sunset, the crepuscular creatures. And it's like sunset and it's illustrated like super lush. And there's all these greens getting darker and darker in, like, a kind of jungle setting. And there's, like, all these little rodents, and there's all these little cats that are around. And then there's a 12-year-old girl wearing a Buffalo Sabres jersey, just behind a tree, poking out.
Julia: That makes sense.
Brandon: That's really good.
Julia: I would have begged my parents for that Zoobook.
Amanda: Julia would say, "It's me. How did they know?"
Julia: "I'm also most active at dusk and dawn."
Eric: "Julia, I'm not putting my credit card over the phone. What is this, the future? It's gonna get stolen."
Julia: You say that, but I did beg my parents to get me Zoobooks, and they did not do it.
Eric: And on the inside cover, we have— all on one page, we have different panels with various characters' faces on it, looking over— I guess we're gonna say there, because it's two characters, is the jaguar god with the double-sided spear, running down the street of Green Boulevard of Broken Dreams Drive, LLC.
Amanda: Very good.
Brandon: I forgot about this joke.
Amanda: "Plot's still available. Call now."
Julia: "Starting at 500,000."
Eric: The jaguar-headed person looking over their shoulder. The face of the Ooze in a Suit, which is now collapsed, splatted on the ground after Rowan has released it.
Brandon: Oops. Oops.
Eric: Rowan's horrified face, Craft's confused face, and Connor's trying to hold it together but doing a poor job face, and the angry faces of the 12-year-old girl's parents and the crowd of people coming out of their houses, because the majority of their houses are off the foundation, and that's bad for houses.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: That's just my thing. That's— my weird thing is that I think that houses coming off the foundation is bad. So we have a whole page just of every single character's face zoomed in as the crowd starts to form.
Eric (as parent): Hey, what's happening? Why did my house get moved? Is this an earthquake? I think one of those super students did it. It's the one— it's— probably the one that's floating six inches off the ground. Hey, what are you doing? Can you call my insurance? You can't do this. Are you one of those Water's Edge students? I'm gonna call your teacher, I'm gonna call your principal, I'm gonna call your parents.
Amanda: Rowan looks down, sees that she is, in fact, hovering a little bit over the ground, and with, like, visible effort, sets her boots back on the ground, makes eye contact with Craft and Connor and runs in the opposite direction.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Brandon (as Connor): No, Rowan.
Amanda: She flees.
Brandon (as Connor): Rowan, no. Rowan, goddammit. Rowan.
Amanda: She runs. She's not listening. She is running full throttle as far away from the house that she can possibly get.
Eric: Does Rowan run faster because gravity doesn't affect her as much?
Amanda: I think she could, if she put her mind to it, but she is too panicked, and so she is just suddenly a 17-year-old girl fleeing.
Eric: I think some of the homeowners, they are kind of— they're making this half circle around all of you to get answers, and a bunch of them break off to try to run after Rowan. But they're homeowners, and at least 55, of course, so they give up after, like, a block. They just— they're sweating through button down shirts.
Brandon: That seems a little young. Should we say, like, 78 maybe?
Julia: Uh-huh.
Amanda: Yeah. I know these are the 2030s, Eric, but the average age of homeownership is going up.
Eric: Yeah, but a lot of them inherited the houses from—
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: —their parents, so that's—
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: —why they're— at least they're 55, bring the average down.
Brandon: I'm gonna turn to Craft and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Craft, which— do you want to run or run? Which one do you want to do?
Julia (as Craft): I was gonna deal with the gel.
Brandon: Great. Go do that. I'm gonna go run after Rowan.
Julia (as Craft): But the jaguar, jaguar child—
Eric (as parent): Hey, why did one of you run? You only run if you did something bad. I learned that from police.
Brandon (as Connor): What are you, a cop?
Eric (as parent): Yes, I am. I work the night shift. I'm tired. Why are you ruining my house? Give me your IDs.
Julia (as Craft): No, there's a jaguar god and a goo. I gotta deal with this first, and then insurance.
Brandon: Connor's gonna step up and say—
Brandon (as Connor): All right, everyone, please just be calm. Calm down. This is a situation that's under control. We have it under control. We are students from Water's Edge Academy. We are seniors, we are trained in the situation. Please, the safest thing is to go back into your homes and we will take care of the situation. Please feel free to call whomever you want to call.
Julia (as Craft): The hotline.
Brandon (as Connor): Your priests, your parents, the hotline, whatever you want. But we have it under control, and please, it is safest in your homes, that way, that way, that way, that way—
Julia: Craft's gonna—
Brandon (as Connor): —that way.
Julia: Craft's gonna kneel down and electrocute the goo.
Eric: That's very funny. Let's hold that for a second. Connor, I think you're trying to provoke someone. You're trying to get the crowd of parents to calm down and go back into their homes. Because I don't know what's gonna happen next, honestly. So I think this— needs to be a roll.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: You want them to do this, right?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: You want them to just, like, disperse and go away?
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Okay. So I would love if you rolled plus superior.
Brandon: Well, I had a zero for superior and then minus two for guilty, because I'm guilty right now.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: So we'll see how this goes.
Amanda: We could still have a mixed success, or a 10.
Brandon: Amanda, we can't have either of those.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Oh, no.
Julia: How bad is it?
Brandon: It's a five minus two for a three.
Julia: Oh, can't even get you up to the number.
Amanda: Oh, no. Shit.
Eric: Mark potential, my friend.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: You deserve that XP.
Brandon: Thank you.
Eric: I think what happens is that the crowd of homeowners, including the two parents, this just riles them up more. They're like—
Eric (as parent): Oh, you're just students. You're just 17. Give me— tell me exactly who I'm supposed to call so I can report you. Give me their phone number, give me their email address.
Eric: They just keep pushing forward towards you.
Eric (as parent): You're not responsible. You don't know what's going on right now. I need to talk to an adult.
Eric: And I'm going to shift your superior down, Connor, because they're all adults. I want to shift your superior down and your mundane up, because you're just a kid, honestly. At the end of the day, you're just a teenager.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Do you accept that? How do you feel about that? You accept that?
Brandon: I mean, I don't feel great about it, but yeah, I expect— I accept.
Eric: Hmm. Craft, as you were making the move towards the ooze, first of all, I wanted to tell you something that I can— didn't get a chance to tell you, was that I have come up with a custom move here for what all three of you need to do in order to succeed at your interview with a villain project.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: If you want to interview a villain, you roll to pierce the mask. You may use one of your questions to ask an interview question and get it on record. If you do not do this, you cannot get a 10 plus on your project. So later, I'm going to make you roll plus danger, because the whole thing was dangerous. But you do actually need to ask a question to a villain.
Julia: Each of us, yeah?
Eric: Each of you need to do it, yes, because each of you are— it is a group project where each of you are going to be graded individually. That's one thing I need you to know. The second thing I need you to know is you walk up to the ooze— the parents are also are now getting increasingly agitated, being like—
Eric (as parent): We're being harassed. I thought this was a nice neighborhood. It was— this—we keep getting harassed, and people keep coming to our door. And it's just— this is not the peace that we thought we would have when we bought a house on Green Space— the long road Green Space, then it was sold by Green Space Realty, LLC.
Brandon: Connor just has his fingers in his eyes, and it's just like—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, my God.
Julia: Yeah. Craft has learned to zone this shit out, because this is complaints that she hears often.
Eric: Yeah. I think you, a 100%, walk over to the zoo and you just zap them?
Julia: Yeah, I want to, like— I think Craft has, at least, enough control of her powers where, like, there's destroy lightning, and there's like taser-contained lightning.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: And this is taser-contained lightning.
Brandon: Oh, I thought you were trying to, like, defibrillate him or something.
Julia: No.
Eric: "Is there a heart in here? Let's find out." Zap, zap, zap, zap. No, I love tase lightning.
Brandon: Taze lightning. Oh, tase lightning is an NPC, actually, unfortunately.
Eric: Just a real— a greaser with lightning powers.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: The only NPC I come up with a lightning power, I'm sorry.
Julia: Yeah, stop.
Eric: We have to stop. Taze Lightning was part of Joltin' Jo's and Hoover Moover's throuple. That's why they broke up.
Julia: Am I actually adding that to the NPC list?
Eric: No, no, no.
Julia: All right.
Eric: No. You zap them. What does your low-grade zap look like?
Julia: I think it actually doesn't have much of an appearance, because it is— it's like looking at static electricity when you're, like, under your covers, and you rub your legs together, and it creates that, kind of, like tiny, tiny, little static bolts, but, like, not big lightning-esque bolt.
Eric: I like that. That's great. As you get closer, the ooze is kind of like in a vague puddle right now, with, like, a suit floating around in it.
Brandon: Same.
Eric: And it raises what I guess could be its head up at you and be like—
Eric (as Ooze in a Suit): Hey, kid, you want to get out of here?
Amanda: Stranger danger.
Julia (as Craft): What— what's your deal?
Eric (as Ooze): My deal is that we can get out of this mess.
Julia (as Craft): Zap.
Julia: And I zap. I zap them.
Brandon: Do you say zap?
Julia: No, I think I— maybe I say zap. I'm a little high. Who fucking knows?
Eric: The Ooze in a Suit kind of, like, moves their ooze around and, like, sploots out a little disc. It almost looks like a really small frisbee with little, like, technological wings on it. It has wires and stuff, like, all over it. The illustrator got way too into illustrating all of the wires and gadgets, so there's just, like, wires everywhere.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric (as Ooze): Take it. Let's get out of here. Come on. I know who you are. You're Dr. Prometheus' kid, right? I know that guy's a kook, but he knows that he didn't create something— he certainly didn't create something that was stupid.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. You are talking way too much.
Julia: And I'm gonna tase it. I don't really care what it has to say.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: I would like to tase it and, like, I want to see what its deal is.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Like, why is it here? Why is it at this door, you know? Why did it come try to, like, bother this child who is now a jaguar?
Brandon: And to accomplish this, you're electrocuting it?
Julia: Well, yeah, I want to see what the deal is. I just wanted to contain it.
Eric: I think you gotta pierce the mask—
Julia: Oh. Great.
Eric: —if you want to see this Ooze in a suit's intentions, you gotta—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —actually engage with it and ask a question. So instead of just tasing it, you gotta talk to it if you want to figure that out.
Julia: Okay. I think Craft is just like—
Julia (as Craft): What are you even doing here? What's going on?
Eric (as Ooze): Oh, you know, a little this, a little that. Hey, come on. We're all doing stuff that we need to. We're all just trying to make a living out here with the suburbs. Boring, boring as hell, right? Can't believe you got—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, so you went and found a child that turns into a jaguar.
Eric (as Ooze): Found? What does found mean? It's just something that— if it's just around, you just— it just floats like, I don't know, something that would be incredibly helpful, floating around in a news.
Julia (as Craft): Are you also high?
Eric (as Ooze): No, I'm just like this.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, I hate that for you, then.
Eric (as Ooze): When you figure out how the ooze flows, everything flows around it.
Julia (as Craft): Cool. That makes total sense. I'm gonna say, hey, if you want to get out of here, I don't know, maybe I can help you, but you gotta tell me why you wanted this specific, quote-unquote, "useful child."
Eric: As you continue your conversation with the Ooze in a suit, I think that the parents of the child realize that you've been standing over. You're having a conversation with this guy for a little while.
Julia: I think I, like, look up at the parents and I'm like—
Julia (as Craft): I'm trying to figure out why this thing might want your child and also maybe why your child turned into a jaguar person.
Eric (as parent): Our child doesn't turn into a jaguar person. Why would you say that out loud?
Julia (as Craft): I literally just saw that happened.
Eric (as parent): Why would you— that doesn't happen.
Julia (as Craft): Because I literally just saw it happen. What?
Eric (as parent): I don't know— we can't trust, what anything is happening here. This is all getting too— we— this— the— something happened to our dear Samantha, and we're just trying to figure out where she is, because she's not in the house anymore.
Julia (as Craft): I'm also trying to do that.
Eric (as parent): I'm calling the school. I'm calling the school right now.
Eric: The parents now— there's like six adults who are all on the phone.
Julia (as Craft): Great. Have fun with that.
Brandon: They're all talking to each other on the phone, going, "Brenda, did you see this?"
Julia: They're all hitting— they're all doing the hotline, and the hotline is busy because they're all calling it at the same time.
Eric (as hotline operator): Welcome to Water's Edge Academy. If you want to know our school schedule, press one. If you're looking to enroll a student, press two. If you want to know about lunch and lunch anomalies, press three. If you—
Brandon: "Press three, press three."
Julia: Craft is just like—
Julia (as Craft): This is so frustrating.
Eric (as hotline operator): If you have a complaint about one of our students, stay on the line. We'll get to you as soon as we can. Wait time is 45 to 95 minutes.
Julia (as Craft): Well, that's pretty good, timing-wise.
Brandon: Can you do the— that song but make it like super power-themed?
Eric: No, Brandon.
Julia: But you can do that.
Amanda: [Amanda sings punk version of Girl from Ipanema]
Brandon: There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Elevator songs gone punk.
Amanda: Don't tell Scott—
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: —Tune Network he will do it.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: At this time, I think I would like to run after Rowan, please.
Julia: So no one's going after the Jaguar, huh?
Brandon: Not my kid. Gotta save my teammate first. Team always comes first.
Julia: She's not in danger.
Brandon: She's in danger of her emotions, Julia.
Eric: She's emotionally in danger, Julia.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Rude.
Amanda: Do you guys know that phrase, "You wish that the Earth would open up and swallow you whole."?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Amanda: Well, that's pretty difficult to do without, like, accidentally crushing yourself into a fine mist when you're 17 and have gravity powers. But what is really easy is just releasing gravity's hold on you sort of briefly enough to catapult you up to the highest roof or tree that you can find. So I think Rowan has learned that people don't often look up.
Eric: Gamers don't look up, but neither do parents.
Amanda: And so after the block where the parents stops chasing, she gives it one more block of some distance, and seeing like a fairly tall tree where someone's parent has built a tree house for their kid in the front yard, she fists her hands real tight and then opens them up, and at that moment, flies up and—
Eric: The way—
Amanda: —maneuvers herself like a running man into the tree house.
Eric: The way you're describing it also is just like— it's like your center of gravity is just in the middle of your body, and you just let yourself get pulled by the center of your body.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: God, that's cool as hell.
Amanda: Yeah? Like a marionette being pulled by a string.
Eric: Just pulled all the way up.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Are the strings of the universe.
Amanda: Exactly. And—
Eric: There's an eighth grade science teacher that's writing that down furiously, Brandon.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Gravity is the strength of the universe. Let's go.
Julia: Love it.
Amanda: And she, like, hunches over. She is, like, curled into a fetal position on her feet, like hugging her own knees and legs, and hyperventilating a little bit. And I think she's standing there not knowing what to do, and honestly, wanting to call an adult. So Rowan, out of her back pocket, pulls her phone and— do you guys think it's true that there is some kind of, like, emergency response app or hotline for students that are, like, out in the fields or off campus? Like a campus sort of security type thing?
Brandon: I— well, I don't know, because, Eric, you said that the school lets students figure their own shit out—
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: —so I don't know.
Eric: I feel like there isn't. I feel like—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —if you want this, it is not easy for you to access. I like what you're saying, but they would not build an app—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: —to make you to have for you to call an adult to solve your problems.
Amanda: No, a 100%. I think that's totally true for our universe, so I— then I think Rowan, like, opens her— like unlocks her phone, has it in front of her, just sort of staring at the phone, like, what do I do? Who do I call? This is really a first for her, but weirdly, the phone screen dissolves into static, and it goes pixelated, and then it goes blank, and then it goes white, and then it goes black. And then on her phone screen is almost like— you know those little dust sprites from the Miyazaki movie?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, the little soot sprites, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah. But imagine that, but it's made of, like, a black hole void where there is, like, television static, almost like that snowflake effect when, like, your TV antenna isn't working. But dark, dark, like variations on black and gray. And then two eyes blink open that— like the green M&M have, like, eyeliner and big eyelashes.
Brandon: So sexy. So sexy.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: And the void in the phone says—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Rowan, you really got yourself into a situation here, haven't you?
Julia: Oh, my God.
Brandon: What the fuck is happening?
Amanda: Rowan throws her phone across the tree house and scrambles backward, like a crab. And just looks around like—
Amanda (as Rowan): What the actual—
Amanda: And then she, like, turns to find a ladder to get down from the tree house, and the void pops into consciousness in front of her. And he goes—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): You didn't think I was restricted to your phone, did you?
Brandon: What the fuck?
Julia: What is happening right now?
Amanda: Rowan is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): What the— what— who are you? What's happening? Am I finally losing it?
Amanda: And the void goes—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): No, silly. I'm Voidie-Lynn, and I'm here to seduce you into using your powers.
Brandon: Eric, do you know what's happening right now?
Eric: Yes, I do.
Julia: Isn't nova a playbook thing? What's happening?
Eric: No, this is just Rowan, and the gravity of the universe speaking to her.
Brandon: What?
Julia: What?
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Rowan, you've been suppressing your powers for way too long. You think that you can get through life as somebody who just has powers, wears a suit, and makes people think that you're not dangerous? Girl, you're dangerous. And if you will not embrace that in yourself, I am here to embrace it for you. Didn't it feel good to have your powers explode themselves outward and affect all those people's houses?
Amanda (as Rowan): No, it felt terrible. I feel— how am I ever gonna repay it? I don't have any money, I'm 17. How am I supposed to do it? Is the school gonna fix their foundations?
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): No, silly. They're gonna fear you, which then means they're gonna respect you. So in the meantime, how do we wrap this whole Jaguar thing up and make sure that we don't fail our assignment? Remember, you can still be number one by the end of the year. I hate that other fella. What's his name? Powers? Oh, my God, talk about a cliche. He's not going to be number one by the end of the year, we are.
Eric: I think that this is— so now, we have— what's her name? What's this PC's name?
Amanda: Voidie-Lynn.
Eric: Voidie-Lynn.
Julia: Voidie-Lynn.
Eric: Voidie-Lynn has influence over Rowan, I'd say so, and is trying to shift your labels even higher for freak and even lower from mundane. However, you cannot go higher or lower than what Rowan already happened, so just mark a condition. I'd say insecure, because this is fucking crazy.
Amanda: Now, I did clear my afraid condition by directly fleeing an important threat.
Eric: Absolutely.
Amanda: So I am going to clear that one and, yes, happy to mark insecure instead. So Voidie-Lynn is the power and responsibility that Rowan has been avoiding and suppressing.
Eric: Avoiding.
Amanda: And— there you go. And trying to ignore. And, like, trauma, it is gathering strength until it forces itself into her daily life. So Eric and I talked a little bit about what this might look like, but Voidie-Lynn is my own creation, and I will be voicing and controlling her.
Brandon: Yay!
Julia: Woo.
Amanda: Or however long this campaign lasts.
Eric: I mean, she sounds like a girl boss, so I think she/her/it, for sure.
Amanda: Yeah, hence the M&M green—
Eric: So funny.
Amanda: —eyes.
Brandon: And the high heels, you know?
Amanda: Yeah. Sometimes we may see some high heels come out to play.
Eric: All of these homeowners and the parents are on their phones, making a tighter and tighter circle around the Ooze and Craft, as the Ooze is offering this gadget to Craft. And then, Connor, you run after Rowan going the exact other way. And maybe you even see her gravity well herself up to the top of this tree, right?
Brandon: I do have very good eyesight.
Eric: Oh, for sure.
Brandon: And hearing.
Julia: Thankfully so.
Eric: Hey, Connor, what does a black hole sound like?
Brandon: Oh, it's like— so you know how white is the absence of all color?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: It's like black holes are like the absence of sound.
Amanda: Aah.
Brandon: You know?
Julia: Aaaahh.
Brandon: You know what I'm saying, Eric?
Eric: Absolutely. So you feel you're running. You see Rowan go up into this tree house and you hear nothing so loudly. And that is when Rowan bursts out of the tree house and the tree. And I think you got to do your— I think you do your burn.
Amanda: Yeah. So you guys remember, like, for the Nova, I have burn, meaning I have to, like, charge up my powers, and then I have flares that I can use. I think that capitulating to Voidie-Lynn charges my burn. So I will definitely still roll, but I think that that is the— before Rowan is kind of trying to, like, center herself, look down, like gather herself, find inner stillness. And I think instead, it's talking to this chaos, is how she's actually going to load her burn going forward.
Eric: Yeah, let's do your burn.
Amanda: Let me roll. So I roll plus conditions, which, right now, is one. Okay, great. So that's seven plus one for an eight. So I hold three burn and mark a condition.
Brandon: You get to add your conditions to the roll?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: That's cool.
Eric: The Nova is all about having lots of conditions.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: And I think Rowan is going to, for the first time, use the flare worship. You put on a tremendous display of your might, spend one burn to awe an audience, and to silence, respect and attention when you unleash your powers.
Eric: I love this.
Julia: I feel very useful for this situation.
Eric: What does it look like when Rowan busts out of the tree— out of this big tree?
Amanda: So before the Rowan's edges, when using her powers, became a little bit blurry because she was, like, vibrating so fast, like a, you know, like a rabbit thing, still that, like, the edges were a little bit blurry. But I think now her edges are sharp because of the aura of void surrounding the outline of her body. I think in the comic book, it's rendered as, like, outlined in white versus black, just to, like—
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: —really set her off against the shading of just absolute inky nothingness around her. She's also just fully flying. I think flying is something Rowan doesn't like to do because it freaks people out, whatever. And so she is just fully hovering through the air, hurtling down the street past the house after the Jaguar, to yoink the Jaguar up out of gravity, frozen in stasis as the two of them meet, hovering over the street.
Eric: I love that. Connor, how does it feel— what comes over you being an incredibly tuned microscope, feeling all of this rush over you?
Brandon: I mean, it's sort of, like, overwhelming in terms of hearing and vision. Like, when you're that sensitive, your eyes kind of shake with the movements and your ears kind of, like, take too much in. I would love to run after Rowan as fast as I can, obviously.
Eric: I love you running down the street and then immediately going, "Oh!" And then running back the other way.
Brandon: I also want to say there's a interstitial panel as soon as Rowan busts out of the tree house, where it's just a little kid looking up at the tree house, next panel, little kid sobbing.
Eric: That's sick as hell. Okay, so let's do unleashing your powers. So what do you—the way you're unleashing your powers is you want to grab, catch up to, and grab the Jaguar.
Amanda: Yeah, and hold both of us in stasis, like, 70 feet up in the air over the street as we talk.
Eric: I love that. Let's unleash your powers.
Amanda: So I'm rolling plus freak, which is plus three right now. All right, I got six plus three for a nine.
Eric: Unleash your powers. So you do it, you can either mark another condition, or I can tell you how the effect is unstable or temporary.
Amanda: I think Rowan is past thinking about herself and her body and just acting, so I am going to mark a condition. And I think it's angry. I think she's angry at herself for how she acted and how she failed to act. And she knows she's overreacting. She knows there's a better way this could have gone. And she is really angry with herself.
Eric: I love it.
Amanda: Cool. So the way this works is— whereas before, there was not a lot of visual to when Rowan was manipulating gravity. It was more just the effect of it. I think this is almost like a water fountain of void, a tendril that comes out from her, like, upper stomach, like her— you know, the, like, core, and lifts up the Jaguar, twirls around it like a rope. And when you look a little bit closer, you see that it's actually coming, like, down her arm, out her tattooed middle left finger.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Oh, God.
Amanda: And then out to the Jaguar.
Eric: That's so scary. Oh, my God.
Amanda: And this strap of ethereal leather is picking the Jaguar up and eventually retracting it so they are both floating 80 feet over the suburban street, facing one another.
Eric: I think at that moment when you rush past the crowd of homeowners, they all stop and look up in you, in silence and awe. Suddenly, their problems of, like, the superficial damage to their house, maybe a shutter, maybe a door, it could all be fixed, but there's something in front of them that is awesome in the biblical sense, and powerful. And they all look away from the Ooze and from Craft, focused on Rowan.
Julia: Craft is gonna rip this Ooze's, quote-unquote, "head" off and shove it into her pocket.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Like the front poncho pocket.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Sure. Sounds great.
Amanda: Rowan, I want to get you an ethereal Baggu. I want to get you a Baggu that is impervious to water, matter, gel, powers, anything else that it might be, and sew it up so you can keep it in your pocket.
Brandon: What the fuck is a Baggu?
Amanda: It's like a brand of collapsible tote.
Brandon: Baggu.
Julia: Oh, cute. Oh, and also that weird disc.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: As you reach down to pick up the disc, Craft, the Ooze in your pocket says—
Eric (as Ooze): Probably the right choice, even if you don't know it yet. Slurp you later.
Eric: And the Ooze goes between your fingers, returns to the suit. It goes out of the suit and into a drain.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Up there in the sky, Rowan is holding the Jaguar up, and it— as much as it can, slashing with the double-sided spear. You're getting a better look at the spear here, being in the nothingness of your gravity void. It is brilliant with sunset, golds, oranges, blues, and purples, with on the tips of the spears, just the warm color of the sunset.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's a really nice beer you got there.
Eric (as The Golden Warrior): Unhand me. You do not understand the power of the Golden Warrior, and you never will. You are invoking powers— you are invoking things that you do not even understand and can never comprehend.
Amanda (as Rowan): Bad kitty. Hang out for a minute. I'm sorry that you sort of burst to life. Am I reading the situation correctly, that it was, like, the setting rays of the sun that sort of activated you here?
Eric (as The Golden Warrior): What? You understand the curse? You understand the incantations? Tell me, are you a priestess, a goddess yourself? Tell me.
Amanda (as Rowan): Arguably, yes.
Amanda: And then Rowan, out of her other hand, is gonna try to form, like— actually, let's have her use her another burn on this thing she can do called constructs, which is to create any object with my powers up to the size of a person. I am going to make a sun shade the size bigger than the middle schooler, the size of an adult. And kind of hover it between the Jaguar and the sun, and see if casting a shadow over this middle schooler turns her back to a person.
Brandon: At this point, I think Connor catches up to everyone and then just looks up at Rowan and says—
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, Ro?
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah, what's up?
Brandon (as Connor): I don't want to critique your form, but this looks really bad.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, you want me to do it on the street?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. Or— and let go of the child.
Eric: There's like three of the homeowners have collapsed to their knees, watching Rowan do this. And blotting out the sun, getting in between their eyeline and the sun.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Amanda: And, yeah, Rowan will lower them down, so she's still maintaining a hold on the Jaguar, but sinks down to the asphalt.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.
Amanda (as Rowan): So are you like a villain or something in the Jaguar form?
Eric (as The Golden Warrior): Are you evil? You must be a monster to hold me as such. The Golden Warrior revealed and released for only an hour a day.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, so you want to, like, get stuff done during your hour?
Eric (as The Golden Warrior): Yes, unhand me, villain.
Amanda (as Rowan): I cannot do that. I'm sorry.
Eric (as The Golden Warrior): Ah, the evil priestess holding me against my will, using Mother Gaia's powers to hold me down.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, could you try with the shade thing?
Amanda: And maybe see— Connor, if you can, like, hold it, because it's a physical object that I've made. It's just like a matte black, like, reflector.
Brandon: Yes.
Amanda: Can you try to shade it and see if this helps put the Jaguar away?
Brandon: Absolutely. Yeah, Connor's gonna grab the shade and it's probably like two or three times his size, but he's just like, "Woop."
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Because he's a big boy, he's strong.
Eric: Yeah, I think the Golden Warrior is, like, slowly shrinking. I think that before it was like this unnaturally buffed, powerful, like legendary creature, humanoid with a Jaguar head. And now, it's just getting smaller and smaller, and it's getting less aggressive. And then I think as it's thrashing and, like, snapping at Rowan, the 12-year-old girl's voice comes out, be like—
Eric (as Samantha): Unhand me. Unhand— priestess, I don't deserve— I just want to go— I— there's a bunch of YouTube videos I have to watch, and I gotta do my homework. Let me go.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm sorry that we caused the sun's rays to touch you. Should we— Connor, what do we do? Do we take it back to their house?
Brandon: Connor runs over and scoops up the child and says—
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, kid, how you doing?
Eric: Now, it's like four and a half feet of, like, Jaguar warrior.
Brandon (as Connor): Let me just take this little toothpick you got here. This is— I'll take this away.
Eric (as Samantha): No, that— that's the sun— that's the sunset staff. Don't— I need that.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, what does it do?
Eric (as Samantha): It's pointy on both sides.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's true.
Brandon (as Connor): That's true. I'll give it to your parents for safekeeping.
Eric (as Samantha): Let me— no, it's mine. They don't know how to use it.
Amanda (as Rowan): What does the god want to do with its spear?
Eric (as Samantha): Whatever it wants. I'm working on it. Fine. Just let me go back to my parents. So embarrassing.
Amanda: And I think we'll shuffle back toward her house. Like, Rowan will take over the shade and, like, hold it in between the sun and Connor holding Samantha.
Brandon (as Connor): Yo, Craft, heads up.
Brandon: I want to throw the spear over to Craft.
Julia: Craft catches it and was like—
Julia (as Craft): What’s up?
Eric (as Samantha): No. Why are you— let me have my spear back.
Amanda (as Rowan): We will. We will.
Eric (as Samantha): No, this is mine. This is—
Brandon (as Connor): You can have it when you eat your broccoli.
Eric (as Samantha): I did. Give me my spear back.
Eric: At this point with the shade, it is just like— it is like 12-year-old girl body, Jaguar head.
Julia (as Craft): I think you guys, like, need to understand that 12-year-old girls, like, aren't children, you know? Like they're children, but they're not babies. You don't have to tell them to eat their vegetables.
Brandon (as Connor): See, here's the thing, Craft, is I forgot what age the kid was. I thought the kid was gonna continue to shrink.
Julia (as Craft): Anyway, ma'am and sir, here is the spear, and also your child.
Eric: When you give the spear to the parents, the parents immediately hold it out to the 12-year-old girl.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. Why are we giving a 12-year-old weapons?
Eric (as parent): It's— this is not our— this is not Samantha's. This is the Golden Warrior's spear, and we do not have the power nor experience or— and what do they— what did they call it? The divine designation to wield the sunset staff.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): By the power vested in me by Water's Edge Academy, I hereby revoke this villain's weapon and remand it to the school.
Julia (as Craft): I don't know that they're a villain.
Brandon (as Connor): Craft, shut up.
Eric: The 12-year-old Samantha, who's now, like— now it's like pre-teen face with spots and—
Amanda: Aw.
Julia: Aw.
Eric: —fangs, grabs it and smooshes it back into just like a burst of golden light, and now it's gone.
Brandon (as Connor): Goddammit.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, so it's like in you?
Eric (as Samantha): Don't— gross. What? Gross.
Amanda (as Rowan): Do you—
Amanda: Rowan, like, takes a knee to— but it makes her much shorter than the 12-year-old's, because they're about the same height. And then now, looking up at Samantha, is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about how your powers are manifesting and how it's making you feel? Because if you don't, there's some really nice adults at Water's Edge we can set you up with.
Eric: Do you want to make a move on this? Do you want to pierce the mask? Do you— are you trying to provoke them to talk to somebody else?
Amanda: I think I'm trying to comfort or support.
Eric: Okay. Let's comfort or support.
Amanda: I think Rowan feels self-conscious about what all just happened and how she came across and being called priestess. So I do have minus two to mundane right now, but let's see what happens. Okay. I got a six minus two for a four.
Eric: Mark a potential.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Samantha says—
Eric (as Samantha): Yeah, I just meant no. I don't have to tell you anything. I'm fine. Thank you. You're also still outlined with the void of the universe, so I'm gonna go back to my parents. Mom, dad! They tried to get me to talk to an adult.
Eric: Samantha runs past them back into the house.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, we can— Rowan, we can just tell the school that there is a—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): —child that has Jaguar god abilities, and they'll probably, like, send someone.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, that— that's a bad idea. You're right.
Brandon (as Connor): All right, folks, nothing to see here. Nothing to see here. Please go back. There's no one to bow to. Please stand up. Please go back to your homes.
Eric: Some people, while they walk by, like, take a few steps towards Rowan and be like—
Eric (as people): Wow.
Eric: And go back to their houses.
Amanda: Rowan's looking down at her feet, and she looks down at her blazer and, like, slowly cuffs the sleeves. Like, will this make me look more approachable? And, like, rushes them up toward her elbow.
Julia (as Craft): What are you doing?
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, no, that shows my tattoo off. Shh, shh, shh. Am I still outlined in the scary stuff?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): I think I left my phone in a tree over there. Can you guys help me find it?
Julia (as Craft): Do you want me to use a little find your location situation or—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Brandon: And there's six panels of us calling Rowan's cell phone, looking in the bush, calling Rowan's cell phone, looking in a tree.
Eric: Two pages while you guys are looking around for it.
Amanda (as Rowan): How many tree houses are there in this neighborhood? Oh, my God.
Eric: That's what they promised in Green Acres, the long road, so that no one disturbs you. And there's a cul de sac at the end, Boulevard, that there's— oh, everyone has a tree that's big enough to pull— to build a tree house into it.
Brandon: Was the street sign, like, made by a hero who has, like, hologram powers or something?
Eric: No, it's just made by a development agency, Brandon.
Brandon: So villains?
Amanda: Green on every street and a house in every tree.
[theme]
Amanda: Hello, it's Amanda, and welcome to the midroll, where I am being powered this morning by non-dairy cold foam. What a world we live in. Welcome, welcome, welcome. By the way, if you're enjoying the heck out of Campaign Four and you want to see a list of all of the NPCs that we're meeting along the way, you should click the link to the NPC list in the description. Julia and Eric are keeping a wonderful list with names, pronouns, powers, descriptions on the website the first episode that we meet every character in. So you can go back and check for your, I don't know, fan art or cosplay purposes, so go ahead and click it. We update that list every Tuesday. And hey, did you hear that we have an episode that's exclusively on vinyl? Videos are rolling in of you spinning your Chad Greene, beautiful swirl, translucent records and, guys, I couldn't be more happy. Listener, Kevin V., who is absolutely incredible, killed it with the gorgeous illustration of Vulcani Kilonova and Multitool, plus their clones playing the marriage game. Yes, that is the plot. It's so good. Well, the Newlywed Game, instead, it's called the Newly Cloned Game. Get it? It's so good. There is a very, very cute, little insert in the vinyl with Campaign One purple, with January's hopping all around and little tunas. Oh, my God, it's so cute. And then on the back, there are incredible comic book style portraits of our three heroes. Trust me, you want this physical object. We only have 100 of them. We will not be printing anymore, so get yours today at jointhepartypod.com/merch. And if you don't have a record player, if you don't typically buy vinyl, that's totally fine. When you buy the vinyl, you will get an mp3 of the episode so you can listen to it in your podcast app, as usual, on your computer, whatever you want, and then have this gorgeous physical object. You have to get this, folks. This is the first ever vinyl episode of Join the Party. It is limited edition, full color jacket, special insert, jointhepartypod.com/merch. Thank you so much to our newest patrons who have helped us get even closer to our goal of 50 new paid patrons. We need 18 more. Thanks to Noah James, Melanie, Megan Moon, Elsa J., and Juliana, who have helped us get closer to our goal of playing another One Shot from the character creation episodes from One Shot Derby two. And don't worry, patrons, you will be hearing the One Shot Derby very soon. If you liked Join the Party, you are also going to love the other shows in the Multitude Podcast Collective. Wow, If True is your one-stop internet culture shop, explaining how what's happening online shapes the real world. And folks, ain't it ever these days? You can trust that real internet experts and besties, Amanda Silberling, who's a tech culture journalist, and Isabel J. 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Mage Hand Mike, he's so smart, he's so funny. He makes such amazing things. I love his spells, his items, his species, everything else." But you found it inconvenient to reference this third-party supplement. Great news. Now, you can access Valda's Spire of Secrets player pack on D&D Beyond. Now, our friends at Mage Hand Press are very excited that they finally have brought the best of their gigantic premium book, Valda's Spire of Secrets, and distilled it down To Essentials Four 5e, so you can now go to D&D Beyond and access Valda's Spire of Secrets player pack there. Or if, like me, you just enjoy reading cookbooks and whatnot, and you also enjoy reading the full supplement of Valda's Spire of secrets, go to magehandpress.com and buy it direct. They also have a 10% off sale running throughout April, so folks, you got a couple more days left to go and check it out. They're even doing giveaways for both 10 copies of Valda's and 10 codes to D&D Beyond with the player pack on it. 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Tom: Hey, do you like role-playing games? Well, you should check out Mystery Quest. It's an actual play podcast where we focus on all kinds of indie TTRPGs with a rolling cast of special guests. You can find us anywhere where you get your podcasts. I'll see you there.
Amanda: And now, back to the show.
[theme]
Amanda: I think as they're searching, Rowan is gonna really haltingly start to explain like—
Amanda (as Rowan): So I saw this, like little void in my phone, and then I threw my phone away. But then the void appeared in front of me, and she said— she sounded like a scary lady. And she said her name was Voidie-Lynn, and is sort of, like, the powers that I'm ignoring. And then instead, she's here to make me pay attention to them. And it made me feel real powerful, but I also felt real powerful before I kind of messed everything up there. So I think I might need to talk to an adult.
Julia (as Craft): Couple of questions, has that happened before?
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. How are you feeling?
Amanda (as Rowan): Weird.
Brandon (as Connor): A third question, did you name it or is that the real name of the thing? Did they—
Amanda (as Rowan): Do you think I would say the name Voidie-Lynn?
Brandon (as Connor): No, I didn't know.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): No. She told me. She sounded like a scary lady who then would say like, "Bless your heart," or some shit like that.
Julia (as Craft): Oh. Southern, got it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Not good.
Julia (as Craft): Sorry, how are you feeling?
Amanda (as Rowan): Weird.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. Maybe, just a thought, wanting to talk to an adult, I talked to Miss Rita a lot. That's, like, literally her job, and maybe you would benefit from talking to her.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
Brandon (as Connor): We can— if you don't feel comfortable talking to her, we can also go get some pizza, hang out in the dorm, just talk it through if you want.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, you did specifically ask for an adult, right?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I—
Brandon (as Connor): We're almost, you know, 18, whatever.
Eric: Connor's an adult. He's practically a faculty member.
Brandon (as Connor): Look at me, I'm huge.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. I should probably do that, and I'm sorry I ran. I—
Amanda: Sniffling a little bit.
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't feel good about it and I'm sorry I'll let you down.
Brandon (as Connor): You didn't let us down at all. Oh, shit, did we— what happened to the villain, Craft?
Julia (as Craft): I tried to electrocute it. It tried to give me a disc that I did take.
Julia: Then Craft pulls it out of her pocket.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): It seemed like it really wanted me to take the disc, which makes me concerned, and then it went down to the sewers.
Brandon (as Connor): I'm assuming we can't ask the disc the essay questions.
Julia (as Craft): No, but—
Brandon (as Connor): Shit.
Julia (as Craft): —maybe we can track this thing down via the disc again. I don't know.
Amanda: Rowan leans down, makes eye contact with the disc and says—
Amanda (as Rowan): Do you hold any consciousness? I asked it. I asked it a question. I asked it a question.
Eric: So why don't you roll to pierce the mask? No, no. The disc does not respond.
Julia (as Craft): We could ask Cyberpunk, maybe he can, like, talk to it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): That's good. I like that.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: Cyberpunk definitely will not turn off the anime porn that he's playing at all times while helping you.
Julia (as Craft): I'm fine with that, personally.
Brandon (as Connor): I'm not.
Julia (as Craft): I can go by myself.
Brandon: Is Cyberpunk on the list of—
Julia: No. I— okay, it's an NPC that I created myself that Eric was like, "Okay, I guess."
Eric: I know what Julia is doing. She's making an NPC.
Amanda: Love it.
Eric: And now I'm gonna be like, "Well, to— he's watching hentai at all times. I don't know what to tell you."
Julia: That's fair.
Amanda: Oh, he is Sour Anthony's nephew. You're so right.
Brandon (as Connor): So ice cream and back to the school, I guess?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): They were having that party tonight, too.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, that would make me feel really normal.
Julia (as Craft): Sick.
Amanda (as Rowan): Can we do that?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Eric: Rowan, if you want to, since you shared a vulnerability or weakness with someone, you can tell your partners how they could stop you if it came down to it, which I think is a good idea, because you now talk to the void.
Amanda: I did. I think Rowan will help relax the holds of gravity on us, so we can kind of, like, moonwalk home with bigger strides.
Julia: Sick.
Brandon: Backwards.
Amanda: Just— what is it like— you know what I mean? Like with moon boots.
Brandon: I know. I just think it's funny.
Amanda: Yes, yeah. That's a different thing. And as we're walking, I think she shares a little bit of fundamentals about particles, which— you know, if you remember her mom is a physics professor, her dad is an artist, and so she— he thought it was backwards. Women can be professors of physics. I'm just kidding. And she's explaining how the safest way to deal with someone who has powers that can manipulate the space between particles is a vacuum. And, obviously, those are very dangerous for creatures that breathe, but the fewer molecules, the least dense, the most void there is in a space, the less Rowan has to work with. And so she is just talking a little bit about, you know, removing things, removing powers higher up in the air has a lower hold of gravity than closer to the center of the Earth, and isolating her an airlock, an electromagnetic field, all kinds of things that can kind of just isolate her from the things that she could potentially manipulate are a good fail safe for her team to know about.
Brandon: So Connor looks at Rowan and says—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, so you can't move me at all, right?
Brandon: And he flexes his biceps.
Amanda (as Rowan): I can literally see all your particles.
Brandon (as Connor): Because I'm so dense.
Amanda (as Rowan): What?
Julia (as Craft): It's a joke—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): —about how fit he is.
Brandon (as Connor): Because I'm so strong and dense.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Brandon (as Connor): You get it?
Amanda (as Rowan): Sorry.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, it could have been a real good self-burn, where he's like, "Yeah, I'm so dense." But he meets his brain.
Brandon (as Connor): But I don't mean my brain.
Brandon: And then he shakes his head, so his brain moves about.
Amanda (as Rowan): It's really not good to slosh it so much.
Julia (as Craft): It shouldn't do it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, all of us have the blood brain barrier, but I don't like that I can see yours.
Eric: So, Rowan, you can clear a condition.
Amanda: Yes, thank you.
Eric: And in exchange, Connor and Craft have influence on Rowan.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Cool. So Connor already did, but I will add Craft.
Julia: Yay.
Brandon: Do I have double influence?
Eric: No, but you do get something.
Brandon: Oh, really?
Amanda: I'm gonna clear and secure, because I think that makes me feel like I'm not alone in being able to control myself.
Brandon: Oh, if you have influence over teammate, and you would gain influence over them again, immediately shift one of their labels up and one of their labels down, your choice.
Eric: Boom.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: So you can shift Rowan's labels however you want.
Amanda: So right now I have plus three danger, plus three freak, negative one savior, zero superior, negative two mundane.
Brandon: So mundane makes you feel human. Superior is your hero complex. No, which one's savior and superior? What's the difference again?
Eric: Savior is you see yourself as a savior. When you think of yourself as a martyr, someone who gladly sacrifices to protect. Other people see you as a savior when you're noble or self-sacrificing or you're overbearing or moralizing. Superior is when you see yourself as clever than everyone else. You know exactly what to say to make the people around you do what you want. Other people see you as the smartest person in the room.
Brandon: I think I would move your mundane up and either your danger and your freak down.
Eric: Danger is what you're eventually gonna have to roll for.
Brandon: I was thinking freak anyway, like— because I—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —you're probably feeling more human.
Amanda: I would love to feel more human and less freakish, so—
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: —I'm down.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Alrighty.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: I think while you're doing that is like— mechanically, Rowan is settling. I think there is a page of Rowan as an eighth grader at, like, 13, working with Wordsmith. And they're down in the gym, and there's all this mechanical equipment everywhere, and all of this, like holograms. It's like— that's like their danger room, right? Where they can turn anything else in there.
Brandon: I love a danger room, but it's just a fucking elementary school gym with golf balls and a basket.
Amanda: Girl, it was. It was.
Eric: I love the idea—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —that there's always a basketball hoop in there, no matter what.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: And that rope that kids how to climb, what the fuck?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Who could climb that rope?
Brandon: That was a presidential rope, Amanda.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Big fan of that rope.
Eric: Yeah. You see like 20,000 leagues under the sea, like Dinosaur World, but there's a rope and a basketball hoop there no matter what. And I think it's just Rowan being put— each panel— I think there's like 16 panels on this page. Is Rowan being put into different situations, where it's like space in an electromagnetic bind in the Antarctic out next to a volcano, just one after another after another, to—
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Like the pressure of the deep sea, ocean?
Eric: Absolutely. Like, why would Rowan know this? Because it happened. She and Wordsmith did it together.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Cool. Sick, all right. Well, I think you're all walking back to school.
Amanda: Let's go to that party.
Brandon: With ice cream cones in hand, Eric.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Of course.
Brandon: I got matcha. What flavor did y'all get?
Amanda: Ube.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Black sesame.
Brandon: Ooh, this is a good ice cream shop with them fancy saucer flavors.
Amanda: Uh-hmmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Fancy. Yeah, y'all can go to the party. Does anyone else want to do anything before we do that?
Julia: I think I am gonna bring that disc to Cyberpunk. I assume he's probably going to the party, but I don't know.
Brandon: We'll all go with you, but I will cover my eyes as we go.
Eric: Here's the thing, Craft, why would Cyberpunk have to go to the party if—
Julia: Party in his room?
Eric: —he has a hologram Waifus for him to hang out with at all times?
Brandon: Disgusting.
Julia: Because he does like hanging out with other people. He brings the Waifus with him.
Eric: Hell yes. Okay. So, yeah, you go back to the— tell me stuff about the dorm. Let's talk about the dorm for a second. I think they're on a scale of one to 10. They're like college dorm.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You know? Like, it is definitely clean and nice. Some of them are less clean and some of them were less nice. But, like, there's definitely, like, standard issue bed, desk, chair, closet,
Julia: Closet, yeah.
Amanda: And, I mean, we know it was redone in the last four years, from when Rowan accidentally separated the bedrock and schism to the island.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: So it's slightly nicer than your average college door.
Eric: Some of them are nicer than others, I think. I definitely—
Julia: Oh, were there multiple, like, dorm buildings? I was assuming we're all in, like, one building.
Eric: I think it's all— but only, like, a third of them got destroyed when Rowan separated—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —yeah, separated—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —the dorm island, so some of them are now better than others.
Brandon: I will say everything does probably need to be reinforced more than a regular college dorm room.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Because the bed has to support, I don't know, 900 pounds in some cases and—
Amanda: Yeah. It still looks shitty in plastic, but it is actually made of stainless steel.
Eric: It's really hard to get the dorm you want, because they have to fix things, according to the student. So it's locked in—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —long before. The lottery is a show.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Not actually a lottery.
Brandon: Just like the real lottery—
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: —conspiracy theory.
Eric: Yeah, I love it. So, yeah, Wraith is throwing a party. Lots of folks are coming. The theme is— oh, I thought I could come up with a party theme really quickly and now I've said— I'm stuck.
Brandon: What— Pan-Am.
Eric: Pan-Am.
Julia: What?
Brandon: The airline.
Julia: No, I know what you meant.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: I said, what?
Brandon: Think about it, Julia. Like you're all in the fun, little— fun, flirty little suits and flight attendant outfits, and then there's, like, drink carts everywhere.
Amanda: I mean, that sounds like a fun cosplay for adults. I don't know if the kids would be as excited about the Pan-Am party, but Brandon, I love where you're going with this.
Brandon: Well, you know, Amanda, I'm old, so—
Eric: All right, this—
Amanda: It's fourth of July again, but we're together this time.
Eric: Amanda, that's— I kind of like Amanda's.
Brandon: I mean, the reality is that high schoolers don't put themes to their parties, unless you're big fucking nerds.
Eric: No, but they're like— because they're in a dorm, lots of college students do theme parties all the time. So I—
Brandon: Yeah, college students do.
Amanda: But I think students at, like, boarding high schools would—
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: —do that because it's like move of a--
Brandon: Yeah, big fucking nerds.
Amanda: Big nerds, 100% big nerds.
Eric: Yeah, big nerds at superhero high school, Brandon.
Julia: Or children that got kicked out of regular schools and now have— go to a boarding school somewhere.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: Like how students have birthdays over the summer, have a birthday party before school ends in elementary and middle school.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: I think it's that.
Eric: That is so funny to make the first party of the year being Fourth of July, but we're together this time. That's so— that is awesome.
Amanda: Hot dogs are cheap.
Julia: Any excuse for fireworks.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Oh, you know we have some, like, light manipulation—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —students who can do that.
Julia: Oh, yeah. Some Jubilee-ass student.
Eric: Oh, truly.
Julia: Some Dazzler-ass student.
Eric (as Firework Super): I feel like they just invite me because I can make fireworks, but I'm not going to say anything, because I like being invited to the party.
Amanda (as Rowan): It's better to be needed than wanted, I'll tell you that much.
Eric (as Firework Super): I say that all the time. Rowan, you look tired.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I am.
Eric (as Firework Super): Okay. Bye.
Amanda (as Rowan): Bye.
Eric: So, hey, have you all— do you all dress up for these?
Julia: No.
Amanda: I think we're coming right from the road.
Julia: Same outfit every time.
Amanda: I also think it's kind of chic to come in our, you know, like, battle-stained somewhat clothing to be like, "Oh, yeah, sorry. We were busy meeting a villain out in the wild."
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I like it.
Brandon: I mean, Connor always looks nice—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —so—
Eric: In my head, Connor's like, "Oh, I gotta go pick up some hot dogs. Hold on."
Brandon: No, no, no. Connor is hungry as fuck. Connor is like—
Brandon (as Connor): "Let's get there as soon as possible, because I'm going to eat all of the food."
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Fair, fair, fair. Yeah, I think that you're all— Wraith is throwing the party, like as many seniors are kind of, like, packed in to this floor as possible. You know, especially when you are on club teams, they put you all kind of together. So this is like Wraith is throwing the party, but TeamCast and Powers, obviously, have opened their doors as well. TeamCast's room is where all of the hot dogs are. Powers' room is for people to pick up really big hats that make you look like Uncle Sam. He just has all— he does— and also the beer. The beer is underneath a big Uncle Sam. I want you to drink this beer.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Amanda: It's good.
Brandon: Pretty good.
Eric: Julia, what do you think about that?
Julia: I think it's just okay.
Eric: Okay. That's fine. Fine. As you go to the party—
Brandon: 10, 10, five—
Eric: Four. I think it's bumping. Tunes are playing. Everyone's bumped into each other. It is like— it is wall to wall in here. I don't know if you remember being in college parties where there are too many people and too small of a place and you literally cannot move—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —through the door, but like it's spilled out to the hallway. The hallway is just packed with seniors.
Amanda: I think there's one door closed, the piece of loose leaf pinned to it. That's like, "I'm trying to study."
Julia (as Craft): It's the first day. There's nothing to study yet. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Stop studying.
Eric (as studying student): Craft, stop!
Julia (as Craft): Never.
Eric (as studying student): Craft, some of us like having good grades.
Julia (as Craft): Unrelatable.
Eric: As you're in there, Wraith is currently in her Wraith form. She is a horrible ghoul, being like—
Eric (as Wraith): Don't you love America? Yeah, I feel so patriotic right now.
Eric: And she's wearing like a big Uncle Sam hat and beard.
Brandon (as Connor): Yo, Wraith. That is the perfect America costume, a Wraith in an Uncle Sam hat. I love it.
Eric (as Wraith): This is what capitalism looks like.
Brandon (as Connor): Yes.
Eric: As her face pokes out. Here's a question I wanted to ask all of you. Do you— I know you all like Wraith. Do you listen to what she says? Do you care about how she thinks about you?
Julia: I care about her opinion of me quite a bit.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: So does Rowan.
Brandon: I would— I mean, I care in the way that I care about a friend, you know?
But, like, I don't know if she has like influence over me.
Eric: Well, the reason why I asked is that I think that when you are talking to a peer or another team, you need to know if someone has influence over you or not. So I think that's enough, even with Connor—
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: —to say that Wraith has influence over each of you, but you can choose to withstand if she tries to achieve your labels or something.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Because I definitely don't think that some of the other NPCs who you— who we've met, like Powers and TeamCast, you don't care what they have to say.
Amanda: Uh-uh.
Julia: No. I specifically don't.
Amanda: We anti-care. If they say something. I go, "Great." Do the opposite.
Eric: Oh, TeamCast has spun up Dead or Alive Volleyball, which is one of those games where fighting game characters with the jiggle physics play volleyball.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: So there is a— TeamCast has set up beach volleyball in the room.
Julia: Pervert.
Amanda: Rowan is gonna drift over there like—
Amanda (as Rowan): This is really interesting. That's not how gravity works.
Brandon: God. Even just thinking about this party is like giving me hives. I— this is like the worst—
Julia: My palms are sweating.
Brandon: —nightmare of Brandon.
Eric (as TeamCast): I have jiggle physics.
Eric: TeamCast is wearing a bikini top and jean jorts.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's genuinely a really good look on you. I like how it contrasts with the purple.
Eric (as TeamCast): Look at it— look what happens when I jump.
Eric: And they jump in the air. Their whole body goes up and down.
Amanda (as Rowan): Love it.
Julia (as Craft): Weird.
Amanda (as Rowan): If you ever want to do that just like recreationally, let me know. Why are you laughing?
Eric: Craft, as you're looking around, you do not see Cyberpunk.
Julia: I think I asked TeamCast, because in my mind, they're very similar, where I'm like—
Julia (as Craft): Yo, TC, Cyberpunk, you seen him?
Eric (as TeamCast): Oh, hold on. Set, spike.
Eric: He just gets a volleyball on the ground.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, look, they got four points.
Eric (as TeamCast): I don't think that's how volleyball works.
Eric: Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.
Eric (as TeamCast): I haven't seen them yet. They're probably around setting up their Waifu for party mode.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, I'll go look for him.
Julia: I think Craft also shoots him a text, being like—
Julia (as Craft): Yo, need you. Hope the Waifus are doing well.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): They are always doing well. Yeah, down in my room.
Julia (as Craft): All right.
Brandon (as Connor): Don't— hey, Craft, you know what we said, don't go down to Cyberpunk's room without a buddy.
Julia (as Craft): You— but you guys always complain about the porn.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, that's why you don't go down to Cyberpunk's room without a buddy.
Julia (as Craft): They’re not there. It's fine.
Amanda (as Rowan): I've been rattled enough. TC, you got this.
Amanda: And Rowan is gonna put down the controller and follow Craft.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: I was envisioning there was literally beach volleyball happening in their room, but I like that you were holding a controller the whole time, you have to be holding a controller.
Julia: Like a Wii. Yeah.
Amanda: I was picturing playing beach volleyball on their screen.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, I was, too.
Eric: Both. No, it's both. It's all at the same time. I love that that's all part of the fiction.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Yeah, you guys are going down together?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Connor is gonna stay at the party and—
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, eat some hot dogs, like at least eight.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, I'm gonna eat so fucking much potato salad. You don't even know.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): People are gonna want me out of the place after they see— the kind of potato salad that's going down my gullet.
Julia (as Craft): I think that happens for non-potato salads as well, but—
Brandon (as Connor): Craft, go find Cyberpunk.
Amanda: I love this relationship.
Eric: Okay. Connor, you go and— you're gonna go ham on some hot dogs, yeah?
Brandon: I'm gonna go pork on some hot dogs.
Eric: Oh, you're gonna go pork on some hot dogs and—
Julia: Cheese.
Eric: —ham on potato salad.
Amanda: Damn.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Glimmer): Hey, Connor, leave some for the fishes. Come on.
Eric: Behind you—
Brandon (as Connor): For the fishes? What?
Eric: Behind you is one of your classmates whose name is Glimmer. You know Glimmer because she looks like fish, although she, like, is humanoid body, everything is like fish woman, especially her face, where she looks like The Rainbow Fish.
Julia: Like from the children's book? Wow.
Eric: The children's book, The Rainbow Fish.
Brandon: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. It is like fish face, and also all of these rainbow scales everywhere. And she does need to wear a helmet with water in it so that she can breathe.
Julia: Aw.
Brandon (as Connor): Yo, Glimmer. What up? How you doing? You want some tater salad?
Eric (as Glimmer): Not after you've— not— actually, no. I want it more now that you've slimed all over it. It tastes better. Give it to me. Can— just put it in the top. Put it in the top.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't slime all over it. I have regular skin. I washed my hands.
Eric (as Glimmer): Can we just— I'm asking you to drop food into my fish bowl, and I'm being vulnerable with my thing. Could you be vulnerable with your thing and tell me that you're sliming all over it.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, that's fair. Here you go.
Eric (as Glimmer): All right, come on.
Eric: She slaps you on the ass, where it— she's like—
Eric (as Glimmer): Wait, hold on.
Eric: Slaps you again.
Eric (as Glimmer): That's where it is. I didn't see it the first time.
Brandon (as Connor): As— I don't mean to get serious here for a second, but Glimmer, as we've talked about before, I need you to ask for consent before you slap me on the ass.
Eric (as Glimmer): I think it's so cute when you ask for consent. It's so cute. Fine. Come on, come on, drop a hot dog in.
Eric: She's, like, gumming at the top of her fish bowl, like when you have food for a goldfish.
Amanda: Aw.
Eric (as Glimmer): Come on. It's a party.
Brandon: I take the bun and I— like feeding ducks, I throw little pieces of it in.
Eric (as Glimmer): Okay. Hey, crack a beer for me and do that. And while you're doing that, I'm gonna ask you a question.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, but seriously, ask for a consent, otherwise, I'll have to report you. Thank you.
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, my— hey, can I slap your butt in—can I slap your butt in—
Brandon (as Connor): Yes.
Eric (as Glimmer): —for the rest of the party?
Brandon (as Connor): Yes
Julia: Yes.
Eric (as Glimmer): Great. Thank you.
Brandon (as Connor): Yes.
Amanda: Excuse me?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: In the fiction, because the water bowl is filled with water, can she only funnel beers?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: Okay. Great. I just wanted to make sure.
Brandon (as Connor): Connor, send the funnel up for me while I ask you a question.
Brandon: Connor takes the funnel, and it's like— in his head, he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): What the fuck do I do with this?
Eric (as Glimmer):Hey, how's your project going? How's your— Professor Moonboot?
Brandon (as Connor): Oh. Oh, dude, it's going so well. We've gotten, like— honestly, we have to pick between the villains we've interviewed.
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Because, like— we've gotten, like, so many good ones and, like, it's tough to choose between them. And we're like, "Which ones are gonna give us the best grades?" And like, the other ones, we'll pull in jail, obviously. But, like, that one, we're just like, "Yeah, which one?" How— what about you? How are you doing?
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, yeah. Like, a bevy of bad guys for me to be like, "Oh, cool. Am I gonna take them?" No, we haven't started yet.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, okay.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah. So we're gonna— God, you're such an over— you're absolutely such an overachiever. It's so stupid.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, it's because we were out doing superhero stuff, and we were already there, right?
Eric (as Glimmer): Sure.
Brandon (as Connor): So, like, fighting 17 villains this night, and we were, like, in the middle of it. We were like, punch, punch, punch, "Hey, you want to do some questions?" Punch, punch, punch.
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, that was your question style. Punch, punch, punch, Hey, why are you— what— was it your mom who did this to you? Punch, punch, punch.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. We thought that'd be kind of effective, you know? And, you know, two birds, one stone, get schoolwork done, get to stop crime.
Eric (as Glimmer): I'm so glad you're the TA of the hostage negotiation class. You're so good at it. It's actually— it's hilarious.
Brandon (as Connor): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Glimmer): That is so good. Punch, punch, punch.
Brandon (as Connor): Hmm.
Eric (as Glimmer): Why did your dad do this to you? Punch, punch, punch. Was it a super soldier project? Punch, punch, punch. Slap, slap, slap.
Brandon: Connor shoves a hot dog at his mouth. He's like—
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. Uh-huh.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah. Hmm. Hey, can I— let me float something by you.
Brandon (as Connor): You're gonna float something by me?
Julia: Get it? 'Cause she's a fish.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah, I'm gonna float something by you. Get it? It's a fish thing. Lets you know I'm serious, because I'm putting my fish stuff. Listen, like, how is— you know, there's still— how's working with Rowan and Craft? Is that still working out?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, it's great. What do you mean?
Eric (as Glimmer): Okay. You know, because— you know, hey, me and some of the other, you know— oh, you know— I know you don't like this term, but we like it. You know, the freak spot?
Brandon (as Connor): Sure. Yeah.
Eric (as Glimmer): And we are— you know, we're still— we're not being— I continue to try to be— pension over the summer. I'm trying to get pension by the school to recognize us as a club team, but they won't, because there's more than three of us. It's so arbitrary. They obviously just don't like how we hang out together and how good we are. But listen, you know, it's hard because there's, like, eight— or everything's in groups of threes, and there's five of us. It's just been so like--
Brandon (as Connor): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Glimmer): So it's been hard to deal with. So, like, you know, I'm— yeah, we haven't started yet because we haven't decided which— who's gonna have to be the one who picks up a third person for the class.
Brandon (as Connor): Hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Glimmer): And we got to be with, like, Donkey Doodle or something.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. He's a— yeah.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah, yeah. Donkey— yeah.
Julia: Is he a American-themed donkey, like Yankee Doodle and also a donkey?
Eric: Yeah. And he has a clerkship for Senator Chuck Schumer for the Democrats.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Please. He sucks.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: For the Democrats.
Brandon (as Connor): He's a real jackass, am I right, Glimmer?
Eric (as Glimmer): True. Listen, like, oh, wait, hold on.
Eric: And she grabs the fun— the beer funnel from you and just takes it, like an absolute champ.
Eric (as Glimmer): I always— I have— I've— I just don't know to like— they would fall—literally fall apart without you. You were just, like, so good. You hold it all together. You don't even act like the leader, when you’re the leader the whole time, we can use you on Freak Squad. There'd be six of us, so we wouldn't have to, like— you know, we can all fit together, which groups would work. We just— we really need— I don't know— like, just come hang out with freaks like us. I don't know why you're doing it. I don't know why you're doing with them.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, I would love to hang out with you guys, but I— you know, I appreciate it. Thank you for saying that. That was really kind but, I mean, I'll keep you in mind if I ever need like a backup team, but I— I've got my team, you know?
Eric (as Glimmer): But listen, there's a reason why you've been stuck at eight the whole time, because that's where they want you to be. They can't— the algorithm or whatever it is, the— or Wordsmith, or Rita or whatever the fuck is going on. That's why there's stuff there. But if you're with us, they can't avoid how good you are with this. You still have a few weeks— like, if you want to shift out, I looked this up because I was looking through the bylaws to figure this stuff out. Like, you can break club teams if you're going to form a new club team, and we really could use someone to help us with the Freak Squad, who they trust to put it all together. It'd be good for everybody, be good for me. And it'd be really nice if you'd do that. It'd be really— it'd be so helpful for— it'd be helpful for all of us if you did. And you’d finally be recognized for the thing that you want to do.
Brandon: Eric, can I hear if her heart is pumping normally or not?
Eric: Pierce the mask, my friend.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: Roll plus mundane, which is a minus one. Great, but no negatives, okay.
Julia: Yeah, you're not angry.
Brandon: A seven minus one for six.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Oof.
Brandon: Which is a failure or makes success? I forget.
Eric: That's a failure. You could definitely do something selfish if you wanted to, to shift your mundane up.
Brandon: How does the selfish thing work again?
Eric: So you pull a team point, which we have plenty. You connect selfishly. You say how your actions ignore or insult your teammates, and then you shift one label up and one label down. So you'd shift your mundane up and then something else down.
Brandon: I don't think Connor thinks the situation would be worth it in this moment, because what he would do is, obviously, insult his teammates, and he— I don't know if they— it would be worth the risk at this point, right— that— getting around.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: So, yeah, I think the music's just maybe too loud or something.
Eric: Yeah, you can't hear. Hey, can you say something very awkward as an answer to what she said?
Julia: You do that thing when, like, you can't hear someone's actual question, where you just go, "Ah, yeah."
Amanda: "Awesome."
Eric: And make sure to mark your potential because you failed.
Brandon: Oh, thank you. Here's what happens, Eric, is— we're all teenagers.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Go on.
Eric: Please.
Brandon: Connor is a young man. He usually doesn't do this because he knows not to, but it was really hard to hear with the music going on. So in order to try to hear her heartbeat, he looked at her chest.
Eric: Oh.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Eric: I, 100% ,think there is, like, fish cleavage. You know what I mean? Like, in the way that it's like— that's not how female fish work, but it's like, obviously, there is. And she's wearing a party dress, and it's September. It's— she's still wearing a sundress. Yeah, dude.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: It's also doesn't help, because there's, like, purple and blue and green scales there. It's like the thing that boys didn't realize that like, "Oh, I'm supposed to read your shirt, but I'm not supposed to read your shirt." That happened to me a lot in high school. Yeah, I see— I— for sure.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: It's tough when the fish cleave is iridescent. Hard to keep your eyes away.
Julia: Yeah, it's very eye-catching.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. It'd be like—
Eric (as Glimmer): Hey, hey, buddy, hey, I'm up here.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Hey, I— I'm so sorry. I apologize. I— that's not what I was intending to do. I am so sorry.
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, yeah, no, it would be really awkward if you join the Freak Squad, because, like, there would be too much tension between us. It'd be so weird.
Brandon (as Connor): Exactly.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah. Well—
Brandon (as Connor): Which is why I can't.
Eric (as Glimmer): You'll— you still got it at least— you got a few weeks before you can— before teams are locked in, so just think about that.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, I mean, I'll definitely keep you guys in mind. And if next time you guys are hanging out, let me know, and I'll stop by. And—
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, sorry, it's for Freaks only and you're, like, so accepted that, like, I don't think you'd like to be there.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. That seems really gatekeepy for a group of freaks.
Eric (as Glimmer): Sorry, that's like, all we have, because, like, we're not recognized by the school, so all we can do is— but I could talk to someone and see if I get an invitation. Like, if you remember, I could get an invitation.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. Well, just let me know if that happens and I'll swing by.
Eric (as Glimmer): Okay. Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. I'm gonna go.
Eric (as Glimmer): That's fine. You couldn't even set up the beer funnel. I'm gonna do another one.
Julia: Is she negging you? What's happening?
Brandon: She is, yeah.
Eric: Would you say that you care about whether you like Glimmer?
Brandon: Not after what she said just then at the end of that.
Amanda: Uh-uh.
Eric: Hmm. Okay. I was gonna try to shift your labels, but that's okay. That's fine. It's really easy for you to figure out where Cyberpunk's dorm is.
Julia: I've been there a lot, let's be clear.
Eric: That's fair, but you can definitely hear the sound of anime porn just down the hall when nobody's around.
Brandon: I hate this.
Eric: Your door is just open and it's just there.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Man, you really— yeah, you really have to spend quite a lot of time to make your dorm room look like a Cyberpunk themed bar.
Julia: I don't think you do when you're a Technomancer, though.
Eric: That's fair, but, like, where do you buy all of the LED lights?
Julia: Amazon, baby.
Eric: Yeah, it takes a while. You can put it together really easily, but you got to spend a lot of time on like Temu and Amazon and Etsy to get the— and make sure they're like— the LEDs are set, so it's always that, like, cyberpunk purple.
Julia: In my mind, it shifts between, like, the cyberpunk purple, blue. It, like— just back and forth between, like, red, blue—
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: —cyberpunk purple.
Amanda: Through purple into blue. Yeah.
Julia: Exactly.
Eric: Hmm. And there's also, like, a robot butler who is setting everything up, which honestly gets in the way more than it actually helps.
Brandon: What's his name?
Eric: Punksy.
Julia: Punkford.
Brandon: Punkford.
Eric: It's like—
Eric (as Punksy): Ah, you called for cyber lord Cyberpunk. He's right this way. He's just working on the Waifu construction.
Julia (as Crafty): Cool. Thanks, Punksy.
Amanda: Rowan, very subtly, loosens a bit of the gravity in the middle of the robot, hoping to disconnect one of the circuits.
Julia: Oh.
Eric (as Punksy): Very good, miss. Separate my top from my bottom. I love that.
Amanda (as Rowan): Cyberpunk, it's one thing when you're fucking weird to me. Can you tell your robot not to do the same thing?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Sorry, I constructed a very sophisticated AI for it to do it, and— oh, hold on.
Eric: And then he grabs the vocal modulator that just kind of looks like a gas mask that he shoved wires into. Again, this illustrator loves fucking wires, man, just illustrating.
Julia: It looks like a Bane mask.
Eric: Oh, for sure— but, like, wires are coming out of it in all directions.
Amanda: Ugh.
Eric: And now, it's like this Tom Hardy Bane voice that's coming out of it.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): It's a super sophisticated AI that I programmed to it, that you shouldn't be messing with Punksy.
Brandon: Could you try that again, Eric? But more like, "I was born in the dark."
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Ah, you shouldn't have messed with my AI. Punksy has a mind of his own.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-huh.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): If you're making him float, he's allowed to say whatever he wants.
Julia (as Craft): Cool. Great. Love spending time with Punksy. I know you're busy with the Waifus. Do you have a second to look over this weird disc?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, a weird disc. Interesting. He can put my Waifus on hold.
Eric: He's, like—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —currently has, like, a giant hard drive that is plugged into a blank-faced automaton wearing a sundress.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Brandon: I think I have to report this man to the police.
Amanda: Is now a good time to ask what a Waifu is?
Eric: Oh, it's just anime girl stuff.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: It's just like, hot lady.
Amanda: Okay.
Brandon: Basically.
Julia: Yeah, it's kind of like being like, "Oh, this is my anime girlfriend."
Amanda: Cool.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, what do you have for me? What is this?
Brandon: This is getting better and better, Eric.
Amanda: True.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, I got it off some goo.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, goo, of course.
Julia (as Craft): It seemed like it really wanted me to have it, so that makes me suspicious, because I think the goo was evil.
Amanda (as Rowan): So it could be, like, pretty dangerous, you know? So we were like, oh, who do we come to, who has lots of wives and shit and can deal with dangerous stuff?
Julia (as Craft): You know I love bringing you weird, little technology trinkets.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): I love weird little technology trinkets.
Julia (as Craft): I know you do.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): It's my love language.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. We're not flirting. Just as a reminder, you and me, not flirting.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Never. I wouldn't do that Waifus one through 17 and— or Punksy.
Julia (as Craft): Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Where— so— come on, come on, Craft.
Eric: Oh, I love saying that, like fucking Tom Hardy.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Come on, Craft, you're gonna have to tell me where you actually got this. Oh, a bad guy?
Julia (as Craft): I got it from goo that was in a suit and was talking about things floating through the goo.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I was there. It was true.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, and your— this goo wasn't at your Bat Mitzvah or something, right, Craft?
Julia (as Craft): Not that I recognized.
Julia: I like— it's funny because the last one was, I saw that guy at the Christmas party and now it’s “he was at your Bat Mitzvah”. It's pretty good.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Craft, I'm not gonna— I'm already putting myself out on them— putting myself out there for villains to destroy, from all of the black hacking I'm doing. I'm not gonna put myself in a situation to do things for you and have all the villains know who I am and what I do without you telling me what I'm gonna get involved in. Just say it's your— just say this is your dad's and I'll start to analyze it right now before you could say, "Wow, Punksy, great new hair."
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll never fucking say that.
Amanda: And Rowan steps forward, fists clenched.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, hold— bro, it's all right. It's all good. This is just how Cyberpunk talks.
Amanda: She sets down and, like, all the wires relax back to the floor.
Julia (as Craft): There we go. There we go, buddy.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, you brought your gravity guard dog with you. I'm just— I must—
Amanda (as Rowan): Why I oughta.
Julia (as Craft): Punk, Punk, relax.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Sit.
Julia (as Craft): Relax.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Stay, float.
Julia (as Craft): You've seen the stuff that I've brought you from my dad. Does this look similar to that? You would know.
Eric: Tell me one thing that you've brought him from your dad.
Julia (as Craft): One of those fucking drones.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Tell me two things you take.
Julia (as Craft): The second drone.
Eric: Drones Only.
Brandon: Drones Only is Cyberpunk's favorite porn website.
Eric: That's true. Honestly, that's true.
Amanda: Brandon, that's Only Drones.
Julia: Oh boy, yeah.
Amanda: That's Only Drones.
Eric: That's Oops, All Drones.
Brandon: Only Drones.
Julia: I hope there's no porn sites out there that are oops, all anything.
Brandon: Oh, you're right. You're right. Drones Only is the dating website.
Julia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Only Drones has safe for work content, okay? They have safe for work content. It is not all porn.
Brandon: It's impossible to find under all the porn, though.
Eric: Yeah, the porn props up the whole business, though.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, hold on, I need to take it down from my wall of gadgets.
Eric: And there's like a pegboard with all—
Julia: Cool.
Eric: —the stuff on it.
Brandon: Like a Julia Child pegboard?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. And there's like an outline around all of them, so he knows exactly where to put it back. And he puts out— there is a fully— I think this is a composed version of the drone that exploded last time.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And you're looking at it, and he takes the disc, and he compares to, like—
Eric (as Cyberpunk): No, these are very different technological signatures.
Julia (as Craft): So when I tell you that I got it from some goo and not the doctor, you know that I'm telling you the truth.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, now that I know that I've used analytics, but use my mind analysis, of my tech mind analysis and all of my body modulars to analyze—
Julia (as Craft): Yes, your cool superpowers.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, buddy.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): So what do you want to know about this?
Julia (as Craft): I want to know what it does and who might have made it, and all— anything you could tell me about it, really.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Let me download this.
Julia: Craft leans over to Rowan.
Julia (as Craft): This is why I brought it to him, because I didn't want to put it in my computer.
Amanda (as Rowan): Well, that's so smart.
Eric: He puts it into some sort of contraption that just, like, scans it while it's floating around. There's green light going everywhere.
Julia: You also know that this guy's got the best firewalls because of all the porn he downloads.
Eric: Oh, for sure.
Brandon: I think that's how he got his powers, is he got so many viruses.
Eric: He was bit by a radioactive Otaku. Be like—
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Interesting. You should keep this on you. This is a single-use piece of tech with the ability to just disrupt itself after you use it. It's a teleporter, too.
Julia (as Craft): Does it teleport to a specific place or, just like in general? I could be like, "I want to go to the mall," and then it takes me to the mall?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, don't say things you want— you— places you want to go around the device.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Luckily, I have it in tech stasis.
Amanda: This is an incredible character.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Yes, you say where you want to go, and you go.
Julia (as Craft): And then it explodes?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): And then it self-destructs.
Julia (as Craft): Does it explode where I was or where I end up?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): It doesn't explode. It just crumbles into pieces.
Julia (as Craft): Oh. Well, when you say self-destruct, I think—
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, you could just listen to me, and while I'm describing to you what it is, instead of you saying what do you think it is.
Amanda (as Rowan): It becomes techno scrap?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Thank you. Good dog.
Eric: And throws you a onigiri that he had.
Amanda: Rowan steps out of the way and then says—
Amanda (as Rowan): So are you. Got him.
Brandon: You mean a donut, Eric?
Eric: Yes, yes. But just like Brock would say it's a donut. It's a jelly donut.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Who made it? It's not very well-made. If— it's set up— although it's set up to destroy itself. It seems like that's all it can handle, one teleportation when you ste— sit on it. There's only one shitty technologist I know who's working out here in Jupiter. It has to be Obstructor Constructor.
Amanda (as Rowan): Obstructor Constructor?
Julia (as Craft): Obstructor Constructor?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): You act like you don't spend time— oh, I'm the only one here who spends time at the dump.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): At the Jupiter dump.
Amanda (as Rowan): Why? Are there, like, women there you're harassing?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Sometimes. They're called sanitation women professionals.
Amanda (as Rowan): You shouldn't talk to anyone like that, much less a garbage lady. They can put you down.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Well, sorry, I— Craft, heel your dog.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, let's— how about we stop calling Rowan a dog?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, then I guess I'll just turn off my scanning device while you heel— and you don't know anything more about what I need to tell you.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll step outside.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Float on.
Amanda: Rowan visibly suppresses her anger and steps outside the room.
Eric: The robot butler closes the door because the door was open the whole time.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: And then opens it for you to leave.
Amanda: Rowan shoots a dirty look.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, Obstructor Constructor, what the fuck is their deal?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): They made things— they make students' lives worse. They hate the school. You don't think that every time that the alarm stop working or the— or a sprinkler start— drowns someone, or the street lights stop— the street lights are stuck on yellow? You don't know why that happens? It's this terrible guy who helps— who hates the school and all of us. He hates teens.
Brandon: I imagine one of those lawn sprinklers holding someone’s head underwater.
Eric: Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Is— are they goo?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): No. Who is goo?
Julia (as Craft): The goo that I got this from.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): I don't know who the goo is.
Julia (as Craft): All right, I'll have to ask. May I have the disc back, please?
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, only if you— only— come on, Rowan's not in the room. Where'd you get the disc?
Julia (as Craft): I literally have already told you this, and don't make me say it again.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): All right.
Eric (as Waifu 15): Oh, continue to be coy.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Oh, she would— you don't mind if Waifu 15 records our conversation? She has been the whole time.
Julia: Cool. Craft is going to snatch the disc out of the stasis and is going to lift this man up—
Eric (as Cyberpunk): No, I'm not ready for the party yet.
Julia: —by his neck and say—
Julia (as Craft): Okay. You're gonna not be weird to my teammates, and you're gonna stop implying what you've been implying this entire time.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): I would never mess with such a high-powered villain.
Brandon: Kill him. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
Julia: I think Craft is just gonna drop him.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Like, hard on the ground.
Eric: His voice modulator cracks.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): No. Craft, come on.
Julia (as Craft): Thanks for the help. I'll see you at the park.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Fuck you. God— fuck. Shit.
Julia (as Craft): And then Craft leaves.
Eric (as Cyberpunk): Punksy, get— Punksy, get one of the spares.
Eric (as Punksy): Right away, your epic-ness.
Brandon: I hate this man.
Amanda: Excellent character. Hate this guy.
Eric: Hell yeah. Party goes on. Party's bumping. Tell me one thing you do at the party.
Brandon: Trip, pull tablecloth, chip bowl falls down, pretzels everywhere.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Eat them off the ground with everyone, because we're so drunk that we're like—
Brandon (as Connor): Ha, floor of pretzels.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia: Craft's gonna get high out of her goddamn mind. Craft just— in a corner, just smoking so much.
Amanda: I think Rowan is gonna look for any kosher food at this hot dog-based party, and then end up eating just, like, three or four plain hot dog buns dipped in mustard.
Julia: Oh, buddy.
Brandon: But there's probably beef hot dogs, you know?
Julia: Yeah. Someone probably bought a pack of Kosher.
Amanda: I don't think these students have a beef hot dog budget.
Brandon: That's true. That's true. This is Brandon. Kids, don't drink until you're 21.
Eric: Legally, the podcast has to say that.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: That's true.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And morally.
Eric: Did I do it? I sure did drink Coors out of a box that was in the snow when I was 17. I sure did.
Brandon: I thought you got like a box of wine, but, like, it was Coors.
Eric: Coors Wine. Catch a fever.
Amanda: Box Beer. Genuinely, that's a very good idea.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Hell yeah. Let's talk about— hey— what— you all want to do an end of session move?
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You want to do an end of session move? I think this is the end of this issue.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: Wee.
Julia: Huzzah.
Eric: Hell yeah. So at the end of every session, you get to choose one. You get to say you grew closer to the team, you grew into your own image of yourself, or you grew away from the team.
Julia: I think I grew closer to the team after that.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: I felt like there were some moments where Craft, in particular, defended her teammates. I definitely didn't feel like I grew more into myself or further from the team.
Eric: That's fair. Who— did someone make you feel welcome, specifically?
Julia: I think Rowan volunteering to come, despite the anime porn, did make me feel a little bit better.
Eric: Legit. Does Rowan already have influence over you?
Julia: Yes, yes.
Eric: Cool. So Rowan, you can shift Craft's labels immediately.
Amanda: Ooh. Where are you at right now, Craft?
Julia: My freak's a little low and I— so danger plus one, freak minus one, savior plus two, superior zero, mundane plus one.
Amanda: I think you were pretty powerful when you wanted to be, and trying to relate to Cyberpunk as a person got you so far, but ultimately, your power is what made him capitulate. So I'm gonna suggest mundane down, danger up.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: And you can also clear a condition, or you can mark potential.
Julia: So my thought was getting super, super high. I wanted to clear my hopelessness, which is, fling yourself into easy relief.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Can I also clear my angry then at that point?
Eric: Yeah, I'll just make sure you were— I just remember you were super high at the party. That's fine.
Julia: Cool. Yeah, that's fine.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: I'm always super high, bitch.
Eric: I think once again, while you're super high, you— once again, your phone starts blowing up, and it's just like so many missed calls from Emily Slaughter, so many texts.
Julia: Of course.
Eric: So many—
Julia: Yep.
Eric: —FaceTime videos, so many, like, Farmville requests, trying to get in touch with you.
Julia (as Craft): Why is she still on Facebook? That's so fucking weird.
Brandon: Because she's evil.
Eric: Yeah. And then you can— if you clear— if you're all out of conditions, just mark potential.
Julia: Ha-zaa.
Eric: Get that XP.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Thanks.
Eric: For growing close to the team.
Amanda: Rowan is also going to grow closer to the team. I think she felt very supported and, like, she demonstrated in some ways, like, the most dangerous she's been and felt, and her teammates were still there for you. Specifically, I think Connor talking her down when she was in the air, was really wonderful. So I know you have influence on me already, Connor, so if you want to shift my labels, they are currently three danger, two freak, negative one savior, zero superior, negative one mundane.
Brandon: What would you like best?
Eric: Remember you got to pierce the mask at least once, and the project is on danger.
Amanda: Yeah. I think let's go— can we do mundane up and freak down again?
Brandon: Yeah. Let's do it.
Amanda: Yeah. I think this is more of the same of, like, calming down, being a person, and a person with friends and support.
Eric: Just being a friend who has an avatar of the void talking to her.
Julia: Yeah, totally normal. Totally cool.
Eric: Totally regular thing that humans do.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Love it. And would you like to clear a condition or would you like to get XP?
Amanda: I'm going to clear angry, leaving me with no conditions.
Julia: Nice. Ha-zaa.
Brandon: I think I probably, actually, grew into my own image of myself.
Amanda: Word.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: I think Connor was able to use his words and peacekeeping skills in the battle, for lack of a better word, I guess. I don't know the— in the event.
Eric: In the conflict, yeah.
Brandon: And also used his smooth speaking to get out of the situation with Glimmer.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I'm sure that's what Glimmer thinks, for sure.
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: Yep. All right. Well, you can shift your label out, up one and one down. Shift your own labels, my friend.
Julia: Shift those labels.
Brandon: I would like to increase my danger.
Eric: Danger.
Julia: Danger.
Brandon: And I'll decrease my savior.
Eric: Love it. Oh, you know what's so weird? Sorry, I was— my hands got really sweaty while we were— I was reading the comic book, and there's one more page that was stuck to the back.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: What? Shit.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: Yeah, you get X-ray specs that lets you look through clothes.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Oh, here's a penny.
Julia: I'll send a whole five cents to you for those X-ray specs.
Eric: Oh, wait, there was another page that was stuck to it.
Julia: Ah.
Eric: On the last page, we see green ooze dripping down from a grate in the street. We see it move through the sewers and then slorp back up through a manhole cover, which leads to an alleyway. And then the ooze slides into a dumpster, and then pushes up the dumpster, and the ooze has a new suit.
Julia: That he found in the dumpster?
Eric: Well, no, this— it fits them perfectly, 'cause you— in the dumpster, you can see that there is a rack of suits just sitting in there.
Julia: Of course.
Eric: He is wearing a dark green suit that highlights the bright green of the ooze. Once they are back in the suit, they step out of the dumpster, adjust their tie, and reaches into their chest, and pulls out a little screen. It is swiping through news clippings of recent crimes in Jupiter, New York.
Eric (as Ooze): Guess we couldn't get the Jaguar. That's fine. Plenty of other villains in the sea.
[theme]