BRRRRING! Time is ticking on getting their first big project done and our super seniors need to stop procrastinating and start pro-hero-ing. There’s a lot of resources at this school if you know where to look.
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
The only way you can listen to an exclusive oneshot is if you grab the limited-edition JTP VINYL now!!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Our super teens are chasing a pre-teen/Sunset Jaguar warrior, and are trying to hold the menacing Ooze in a suit who banged on her front door. Rowan gets overwhelmed by the annoyed homeowners who are pissed at her for knocking their houses around. That is when Rowan meets Voidie-Lynn, a little black hole manifested by her own mind, encouraging her to unleash her powers, which Rowan does, grabbing the pre-teen/Jaguar warrior easily and aweing the homeowners into submission with a display of gravitational awesomeness. Craft tries to electrocute the Ooze into submission, who offers her a teleportation disc in exchange for letting them go. It seems like this decision is out of Craft's hands, because the Ooze slips away even when Craft tries to grab them. So let's go to a party. Connor is flirted at/negged by Glimmer, a fellow student who looks like the Rainbow Fish from the kids book. She tries to convince him to ditch Rowan and Craft and join her fellow team of freaks for senior year, but Connor refuses, because he's kind of fine with friends right now. Craft and Rowan talked to Cyberpunk, a student in the dorm with technomancy powers and sounds like pain and has Waifus, to examine the tech that Craft got from the Ooze. After a lot of Waifus, Cyberpunk recognizes this is made by Obstructer Constructor, a guy who lives in the dump and hates the school and the students there. All right. They gotta stop procrastinating and start pro-heroing, working on this project. Let's get the party started.
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric: Interview with a Villain III, on the cover is stacks and stacks of papers. It's kind of like an overhead shot of Dr. Ram Moonboot's desk, and it has like a picture of his former superhero team. And in the back, you can see like bills from Morrow University, or a soliciting alumni donations from Morrow University. But mostly, it is just stacks and stacks of papers from each of the students in the senior seminar. And he is just crossing things out, writing in the reddest pen possible, being like, "What does this mean? That doesn't exist. Stop making things up. Explain detail???" Except you can also— you can see that Wraith's paper is perfect and has a little A plus peeking out of the corner.
Julia: Yeah, she's the best.
Brandon: Wait, Eric, are we late? Did we— are we late on our term paper?
Eric: No, this is—
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Because it's a cover, it has nothing to do with the actual continuity.
Julia: Ah. Classic.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Amanda: Phew.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Yeah. But no, this is like a paper he made you, unlike— I'm sure they— he made you read, like, a 500-page book. You were— did you ever read Guns, Germs, And Steel?
Julia: Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Eric: You know that book?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: I'm 33, yeah.
Eric: There has to be like a Gun, Germs, and Steel— because, like people in— let's see, AP World History was the AP class for 10th graders—
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: —in our school. And, like, they— you just had to read that book over the summer, like, "Fuck you. Go understand the three things that dictate all of world history. Congratulations."
Julia: Villains and verisimilitude.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Oh. Oh.
Amanda: Love it. Vermillion was a conflict die.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Money, Masks, and Daddy Issues.
Julia: I was gonna be like, "But they all have to go—" and I was like, "Wait, no, the original title didn't all alliterate either. So shut the fuck up, Julia."
Eric: I know it was Money, Masks, and Dads as the name of this book that he made you read.
Julia: Money, Masks, and Daddies.
Amanda: New York's hottest club, Money, Masks, and Dads. Show up on Sunday at 3AM. Free hot dogs.
Julia: I was gonna say, Money, Masks, and Daddies as the porn version of that, so—
Eric: Sure. I love all the porn parodies of academic textbooks that are around.
Julia: Yeah, bro.
Amanda: You—
Julia: Yeah, bro.
Amanda: —pretend that that is not a Venn diagram that--
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: —in the middle, which is a customer base.
Eric: So we are back in the senior seminar, in Villain Studies. You hear the click of the slide projector and Dr. Ram says—
Eric (as Dr. Mohinder Ram): And that's why you never go to a third location with any villain, because that's where the trap is. It always comes in threes.
Brandon: Or people, you know? This is me saying, Brandon.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: Just never go to a third location ever. Like, if you're out, having a good time, no third location. If someone asks you to go to a third location that you don't know, don't go to a third location.
Amanda: Brandon, have you ever been to a second location?
Brandon: No.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): The second loca— here's the thing, you need to remember. The second location might still be fine, but when you go to the third location, that's definitely where the trap is. No one has ever gone to a third location. That's where the mirror that steers your soul is. That's where the super smart snakes are. That's—
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): That's where the blood mist is. Don't go to the third location.
Amanda: Rowan is underlining no third location in her notebook.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): All right. Be— we still have some time left in class. I wanted to check in on your project. How are your interviews going? It's been about two weeks so far, so you should be making some progress.
Brandon: Connor bury his head in his notebook and starts just, like, scribbling nothing on the page.
Amanda: Rowan looks over.
Amanda (as Rowan Miriam Rosen): I mean, it's okay, we got some questions answered.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Oh, oh, Row—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Rowan, do you want to talk about your project? How—
Julia (as Craft): Oh, Rowan.
Brandon (as Connor Lyons): Damn it, Rowan.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): You said you got some questions answered. List— hey, I know that the rankings are important to all of you, but we all need to work together, if even in formal ways and informal ways, if we're going to be heroes in the future. So Rowan, how has it been going with you and Craft and Steven? No. I'm kidding. It's Connor. I'm not doing that joke again. I'm not.
Amanda (as Rowan): Fine. Thank you. We look forward to submitting our papers.
Brandon: And if you ask any more questions, I'll shoot you.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): You said you had some questions answered. What questions were you working with?
Amanda (as Rowan): To villains, things like, what are you doing? Why? What's wrong with you? No, yeah. Like that, but also follow-up questions. And I read this blogger, Teagan. They're really good. And all the time, they're like, "Ask a question, ask again, ask again, but a little different." And that's what I try to do.
Eric: Oh, no, it's Teagan Murphy on Substack now?
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, that's a bummer.
Julia: No.
Eric: Oh, jeez. She got laid off.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Connor, what resources has your team been using, trying to hone in on which villain you're looking at.
Brandon (as Connor): Let me ask you a question first.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): Is it a good thing to use our resources, our own personal resources, or is that going to get us points away?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): That is a great question. It's— I'm glad that we— I'm saying this, I guess, about halfway through, because I didn't want you to rely on this. But anything that you have going for you, whether it's your superpowers, relationships in your life, or anything else, you could use in this scenario, right? You need to remember, you're more than just villains are more than just their powers. Their— it's their psychology, it's where they came from. It's their history. There was an entire section on daddies in the book that you read over the summer.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't think you're allowed to say that.
Eric (as Dreamcast): In this context—
Eric: Dreamcast says—
Eric (as Dreamcast): In this context, I think it is fine.
Amanda (as Rowan): No one asked you.
Eric (as Dreamcast): I read it through my database.
Brandon: Is Dreamcast the HR of this high school?
Eric (as Dreamcast): No, I just Googled really fast. Remember villains, they're about psychology. They're— they are humans as well, on the inside— in the inside. So whatever you are able to access is just as important.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, then, yeah. I mean, we obviously been using some of our familial ties, some close friends. I don't want to give away my secrets to the class yet, but yeah, we've been making use of our resources.
Amanda: Rowan is, like, leaning her shoulder up against Craft a little bit, just because she— she's worried that, like, this is tough as we're talking about familial connections for Craft. And she's kind of zoning out, like looking back behind Dr. Mo. And in the— it's like a traditional slide projector where the light passes through, like a literal glass slide, right?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: So they have sort of, like, rounded corners.
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: I think right in the middle of that, like, rounded light projection on the back wall, Rowan sees some, like, sparks of light start to form, and looks to her left and looks to her right, looks down to see if that light is casting a shadow on the floor. It's not. And then out of nowhere pops a wonderful static filled black hole, who says—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Do you think he'll be okay if you interview me? You think of yourself as a villain, right?
Julia: Uh-oh.
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): So why not interview me?
Julia: Uh-oh.
Amanda: Rowan is breaking out in a cold sweat and, like, sinking further and further down in her chair, is shaking her head like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Not now, not now.
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): No one else can see me, silly. Why are you wigging out?
Julia: Craft does notice this because you are leaning against her. I think Craft looks down, is like—
Julia (as Craft): Is it the weird Southern static again?
Amanda (as Rowan): I got an apparition, one o'clock.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't know what to do.
Julia (as Craft): Did you talk to Miss Rita about this yet? And what did she say to do?
Amanda (as Rowan): No, I've been kind of stressed about it and I don't— probably that's worse, and probably making it stress, making it more coming to. Just introduce me to Dr. Ram. I'll take care of it. I promise.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. How about after class we just go see Miss Rita real quick? I think that would be helpful and good for you. And I'll go with you.
Amanda: Rowan stands up straight, dropping some, like, papers and pens, and goes—
Amanda (as Rowan): Pee.
Amanda: And then she leaves.
Julia (As Craft): Wow.
Julia: think Craft also stands up very abruptly and goes—
Julia (As Craft): I also have to pee.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Sure. Are you ask— or you're just telling me?
Julia (As Craft): I'm just telling you, because you, as a teacher, cannot deny my bodily functions.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Great. Take— sure. Go ahead. Glimmer, what are you working on right now?
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah, you know we're hold— we're actually— me and the freak squad, we decided to combine two of our groups, and we also added Frög with us as well.
Julia: And now, I have to add Frög to the NPC list.
Brandon: Frög.
Julia: Fuck.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah. The problem— you know, Frög was late because they thought Frög was a freshman, but actually has been here the whole time, but— because he's a Frög. So, yeah, Freak Squad doing it together. We're busting all kinds of heads, honestly, and we're just ripping— we're ripping it up. And we're fine. We're crushing it.
Brandon (as Frög): Ribbit.
Amanda: Did his voice drop?
Eric: Did Connor just go, "Ribbit?"
Brandon: No, Frög did.
Eric: Oh, those— oh, do you have control of Frög?
Brandon: I invented Frög.
Amanda: We’re all voicing Frög, yeah.
Eric: Oh, we're all— sorry, I forgot.
Amanda: Brandon voiced Frög, yeah.
Eric: We all collectively voice Frög. I forgot we're all Frög.
Eric (as Glimmer): So, yeah, we got two groups, you know, crushing it. We're— yeah. For sure. It's great. It's great and good. And I know that, you know, Connor's team doesn't want to share any information, so we're not going to share any information either.
Brandon: That's the President's dilemma, baby.
Julia: So the Freak Squad now has six people, is what I'm hearing.
Eric: The Freak Squad— yeah, the Freak Squad now has six people, including Frög.
Brandon: Yeah, did they substitute Connor for Frög?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Seems like it.
Amanda: Seems like it, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: Also, wasn't Frög a freshman, though?
Eric: They thought Frög was a freshman, but it turns out he was a senior, and just was a Frög. So they did not know it was the same character.
Amanda: I love that Wordsmith was like, "Never seen this student before in my life."
Eric: Exactly. Pulls a big, like, gummy eraser down and erases the attendance.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Brandon: Gummy eraser?
Eric: You know, like the—
Amanda: Yeah, like the book.
Eric: You know, like the big ones.
Brandon: Oh, oh. Like the pink ones.
Eric: Yeah, the big ones. The big, pink ones.
Brandon: I thought you-- Oh, I see, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. There's one that I went got— I was at a grocery store, I think in— near Julia's house, and Boar's Head, the meat, was doing, like, prize giveaways.
Amanda: Honey, that was the Bellmore King Kullen.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And I got a— and I have a Boar's Head big eraser now and I think—
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: —about it all the time.
Julia: That's very cool.
Amanda: I texted Eric, who was at a different part of the store, and said, "SOS. Boar's Head giveaway." And by the time he got there, I had won a sports backpack.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Have you tried to erase their meats?
Amanda: Never.
Julia: Never.
Brandon: Their cold cuts?
Julia: Nah, bruh.
Brandon: Have you tried to erase the Salmonella or E. Coli from that one package product they had?
Julia: Now, is it made of baloney, the eraser?
Eric: I hope not, because I've had it for a while.
Julia: That doesn't mean anything.
Eric: Yeah.
Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah. So, you know, we're all set and, you know, we're kind of a friend group, so you can just, like, grade us all together, so— because, you know, the school doesn't recognize us as a full— as a club team, so I think it'd be— to respect our autonomy as Freak Squad, which only we're allowed to say. You're not allowed to say it. You should— you're gonna have to grade us all together, Dr. Ram.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yeah, sure. Okay. Great.
Brandon: Dr. Ram is really ceding a lot of authority in this room today.
Julia: That's what the teachers do, man. They just let things happen.
Eric: His experience as a teacher is that he's hiding the deep sigh he's doing, and he pushes it down to his boots.
Julia: Familiar.
Eric: And it comes out of, like, vents in his moonboots.
Amanda: Oh, they tune out the size, and that makes the little cushion of air.
Eric: No, I don't tune—
Julia: Ah.
Eric: —out the size. Don't tell people I tune out the size, Amanda.
Brandon: Who can say?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Who can say?
Julia: What member of the Freak Squad is Amanda playing right now?
Eric: Oh, yeah, I was gonna ask you, can— you each want to name one character of the Freak Squad. The only thing is they have to be terrible to look at.
Amanda: Yeah, I think one of them is called Eraserhead, and her hair is like Bride of Frankenstein style. And anytime one of her hairs— she plucks it out of her head and, like, drops it on something, that thing is temporarily invisible.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: That's pretty good.
Julia: That's actually a really cool power, Amanda. Love that for you.
Amanda: Too bad I'm a bitch.
Eric: I'm gonna go with classic skull on fire, but I think the thing that is upsetting is that it always looks like the skull is making eye contact with you.
Amanda: Ah.
Julia: I thought you're gonna say it always smells like burning flesh.
Eric: That too, Julia. That, too.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: It also always smells like burning flesh.
Brandon: Burning bone even as well. Ugh.
Eric: Ugh.
Brandon: Ugh.
Eric: Oof.
Brandon: You know that smell when they're working their teeth at the dentist? That smell.
Eric: Oh.
Amanda: Gross.
Eric: Oh, I hate that.
Brandon: You've— can't forget the member of The Freak Squad called Cubist, who is just a person, but in Cubist's painting form.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: —where everything is all fucked up and messed up and—
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: —rearranged.
Julia: Sorry, all I can think about is Goldballs, which is only a reference that Eric is gonna understand now.
Eric: Goldballs. There is a real Marvel character called Goldballs, where he shoots out gold balls.
Julia: And then they retconned it that they were actually eggs.
Eric: Terrible.
Julia: But now his name is Egg.
Brandon: Not Gold eggs?
Julia: Nope, just Egg.
Eric: You know that this motherfucker calls himself Picasso, as if it's gonna make it better, but it's not.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It's like, "I still don't know where your eye is."
Brandon: Yeah. And he— his powers, he can, like, sort of— well, one, he can rearrange himself however he needs to, for whatever reason.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: So he could, like, take out his eye cube and, like, hold it around the corner to see or— you know what?
Eric: Hmm. That's good.
Julia: I think there is a guy who, for the most part, looks relatively normal, but anytime he feels any strong emotion, he turns into a pile of goo.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: Relatable.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric (as Primordial Oooh's): We don't have anything.
Eric: Splort.
Julia: Yep.
Eric (as Primordial Oooh's): We haven't done any interviews.
Julia: Total puddle.
Brandon: That sounds right.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric (as Primordial Oooh's): My ranking's gonna go even lower.
Eric: Sploot.
Julia: He's pretty lowly, right?
Amanda: What's his name?
Julia: Oh. My first thought was Popsicle, and it can't be that. Maybe Primordial as in like Primordial Ooze.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Hmm. Yeah.
Eric: There's a lot of trying to overcome—
Julia: Make it cool. Yeah.
Eric: —how gross you are with having a cool name.
Brandon: So he was trying to make a cool name, and he was like, "Okay. Primordial Ooze sounds cool, but what if I make it Primordial Oooh's?"
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Like O-O-O-H, 'S and it's like, "Oh, yeah, that's cool. I like that. Let's do that."
Eric: I just love the Primordial only shows up on forms and on his, like, student ID, which is like, "Why is your last name—"
Julia: It's a long name.
Eric: "You have two long names. I'm just gonna print one. I'm not gonna do both."
Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, and just, you know—
Eric: Glimmer says—
Eric (as Glimmer): —Connor doesn't get any credit for any of the things we do. Just so you know.
Brandon (as Connor): Why would I?
Eric (as Glimmer): Just— I would just wanted to make it clear so that they didn't think that you were involved in our group.
Brandon (as Connor): Why would they think I'd be involved in your group?
Eric (as Glimmer): Well, just if you wanted to be involved in the group, you could be you, but you don't want to be, so you’re not in the group--
Brandon (as Connor): If I wanted to be involved in the group, I'd be in the group—
Eric (as Glimmer): So I just wanted to let Dr. Mo know not to give you credit for the group, because you're not a part of the group.
Brandon (as Connor): Dr. Ram knows, obviously, that I'm not part of the group because I'm not sitting with the group, and I have a club team that I'm in.
Eric (as Glimmer): Okay, well, I just was glad— I'm glad it's clear. I'm just making it clear about something that we're already doing.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, cool. You can stop looking at me now.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Oh, and there's the bell. I guess we— if you have questions, just come to my office hours. Powers, can you stay back for a second? That would be great. Everyone else just, you know, go do what teens do. I don't know, trade Pokey Digital things, packets. Sure.
Brandon: Connor has a good idea, and he goes— [gasps] and turns to the side to tell it to Rowan and Craft. He goes—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, no. Wait.
Amanda: So I think when Rowan stepped outside, she's kind of, like, hunched over a little bit, trying to catch her breath in the window, and is seeing Voidie-Lynn out of the corner of her eyes through the window, like in reflections. When she looks at the water fountain, some kid is, like, leaning over to get a drink of water, and Voidie-Lynn is, like, dancing through the stream of water that's, like, coming up out of the water fountain. And so Rowan is trying to think quickly, and pulls her phone out of her pocket, puts it up to her face, as if she's making a phone call, and kind of, like, turns her body to be in the corner.
Amanda (as Rowan): Why are you doing this? I already said I was gonna use my powers more, and I don't appreciate you coming in to random moments, and I'm trying to, I don't know, learn something about how to control this. Don't you want me to use my powers more? Why are you interfering like that?
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Oh, honey, I don't think you were trying to learn anything. I think you're trying to learn how to suppress yourself. When's the last time you really grabbed hold of an atom and let it fly?
Amanda (as Rowan): Never. That sounds like a terrible way to maybe hurt someone.
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): I don't care. I want you to loosen the holds of gravity on somebody today, or else we're gonna have a conversation tonight. Toodles.
Amanda: Voidie-Lynn winks one eyelash anime eye and winks away.
Julia: Incredible. Voidie-Lynn has such Bill Cipher energy. I don't know how else to describe it.
Eric: All right. Voidie-Lynn's gonna say, "Buy gold. Bye." As Voidie-Lynn disappears, I think that is when— around the corner, comes Miss Rita.
Julia: And also when Craft emerges from the classroom.
Amanda: Rowan spins around, looks from Craft to her left, to Miss Rita on the right, and goes—
Amanda (as Rowan): So we should talk.
Eric (as Margarita de Rivadavia): I was— hello, Rowan. I was just coming over to say the exact same thing. Great.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, but now that you said it, now I feel like I'm in trouble and I don't want to do it anymore.
Julia (as Craft): No. No, Miss Rita was totally just, like, here to make sure you're good and you're not in trouble, and everything's fine.
Eric (as Miss Rita): See? Even Craft knows.
Brandon: Craft sounds like a narc.
Amanda (as Rowan): The more you say—
Eric: Brandon, shut up.
Julia: Craft has been watching her friend hallucinate for two weeks.
Amanda (as Rowan): The more you say it, the more nervous I'm getting, but I got 'til, like, sundown, so we gotta go.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. I don't know what that means, but—
Eric: Yeah, what do you mean you have until sundown?
Amanda (as Rowan): Can we, like, get somewhere private, maybe?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Oh, I have the perfect place that's private. We could just go to my office where—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, Rowan. Yeah, come on. Craft, good? You're good.
Julia (as Craft): So good.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So great.
Julia (as Craft): Just best, yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So the phone calls I've been getting from your guardian, I shouldn't be worried about that.
Julia (as Craft): Sponsor, I think is the appropriate term for that, actually.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Sponsor, sure. Sponsor, sponsor.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): The phone calls I've been getting you from your sponsor, you're taking care of that?
Julia (as Craft): I wouldn't know anything about that.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay. I— please come by later, please. We're gonna talk about this, Rowan. Come on.
Julia (as Craft): Fine.
Julia: I think Craft, like, puts hands on Rowan's shoulders, which is very funny because it's, like, very far down from her.
Amanda: Below waist level, yeah.
Julia: And it's like—
Julia (as Craft): Everything's gonna be good. If you want me to come, I can come. But if not, like, I can come pick you up after.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Yeah, that, please.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. That sounds great. Love that for us.
Amanda: And Rowan just, like, reaches out really quickly and just, like, kind of squeezes Craft's midsection, like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks.
Julia: Craft pats are on the head like—
Julia (as Craft): Pat, pat, pat. It's gonna be okay.
Amanda: Her hair, like, springs down.
Brandon: Eric, if you allow me, I would like to swing back to the classroom, because—
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: —as everyone else has left, Connor's still sitting in his chair.
Eric: Yeah. I think Rick is also sitting in his chair being like—
Eric (as Rick Powers): Hey, I gotta talk to the teacher, so—
Brandon (as Connor): I gotta talk to the teacher.
Eric (as Powers) :Okay, you go first. Fine.
Brandon (as Connor): No, you go first. Trying to copy me?
Eric (as Powers): No. What?
Brandon (as Connor): Trying to steal my work?
Eric (as Powers): What? No. Are you trying to steal my work?
Brandon (as Connor): No.
Eric (as Powers): It seems like you took a pause there.
Brandon (as Connor): Seems like you took a pause there.
Eric (as Powers): Connor, you're unbearable.
Eric: And then his hands and feet turned into bear paws.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, that was really cool.
Eric (as Powers): I have timing in— I got timing in my bones. I didn't even make the joke.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Eric (as Powers): That was the powers.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Eric (as Powers): All right, you go first.
Brandon (as Connor): That's good. Okay. Dr. Ram?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yes.
Brandon (as Connor): I had a quick question, can we go back, like, into your office or, like, into a corner where Rick Powers can't hear us?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yeah. Rick, go, like— get some water for a second. Just— come back is cool, because—
Eric: He's like—
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem. I'll— I can go even faster with these bear paws.
Eric: And he runs out on all fours.
Brandon: He barrels out of the room.
Eric: Yeah. He barrels out of the room?
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Oh.
Julia: Wow.
Brandon: Oh.
Brandon (as Connor): So—
Brandon: And Connor puts his finger on his nose.
Brandon (as Connor): I knew what you were doing in class. I know what you were doing, asking about resources we can use.
Brandon: I feel like we cut— there's one panel of just the most illustrated face of Dr. Ram, and he looks so tired.
Julia: See every line.
Eric: Every single line on his face.
Brandon: The— Spongebob kind of way, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): What was I doing, Connor?
Brandon (as Connor): You were telling us that maybe you were a resource that we could use in this assignment.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Hmm. Wow.
Brandon (as Connor): No one else thought about this, because they thought that'd be cheating.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): It's not cheating. Good job, Connor. You solved my teaching puzzle.
Julia: I gave you all the clues.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): I've given you all the clues.
Brandon (as Connor): So, you know, if there's some scuttlebutt or rumors about some villains that you think might be fun or interesting, or would give a good interview, you know, that you
might know where they are, or where we could find them, or how we could trap them?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Sure.
Brandon (as Connor): Maybe say them out loud to the classroom when I'm not here, you know?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay, sure. Well, I think that a preconceived notion that some people have is that the better the villain is, quote-unquote, "better the villain is," which, as we looked at and Maslow's hierarchy of evil doesn't exist. You don't have to go to Lake Town City, and, I don't know, go resurrect Gutenberg or something to try to get an A in this class. So just do who's ever around. Have you seen any— have you been checking the police blotter? Have you been checking the Jupiter Journal Crimes column? You know, it's more about the questions you ask than the, quote-unquote, "quality" of the bad guy for this assignment.
Brandon (as Connor): So what would be— if you are doing this assignment, you know, what would be some good questions that you might ask the villain that you are interviewing?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): I would—
Brandon (as Connor): Pretend I'm a villain. Maybe ask me some good questions.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): I would probably— okay. What I would probably ask them is what they want. Why are they doing this? What are they looking for? Because, you know, no— here's the thing, no one asks them this, and it's all they think about.
Brandon (as Connor): Hmm. Hmm.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): So—
Brandon (as Connor): Now, do you accept their surface— if I said, "I want power and gold, would you say, "Okay, great," or would you say, like, "But what's— what else do you want underneath the power and gold?"
Julia: Where does that desire for power and gold come from?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Well, it sounds like you have the answers already.
Brandon (as Connor): No, I don't. That's what I'm asking you right now.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yes. Ask them a follow-up question. It will make sense to you. It's like— well— okay. If someone tells you, I want to be the richest person in the world and they're holding up a liquor store, what would you say?
Brandon (as Connor): I'd say you got to aim higher, bud.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay. Well, frame that as a question, Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): Why are you only robbing a lowly liquor store when you want power and gold?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yeah. I— you'll get it in the moment, but for sure.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. Okay, cool. Thank you. And, you know, if you hear anything in the blotter or read anything, you'll send me a—
Brandon: What would be like the superhero coolant of, like, mail be?
Julia: Well, it's a drone. The answer is a drone.
Brandon (as Connor): You'll send me like a drone or something, or— you know?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): I can't do all of the work for you, and I know that you have the resources to hone in on stuff. Come on. If I had Anita Tigre sending me information, I'd use it.
Brandon (as Connor): Who said anything about Anita Tigre? I didn't say anything about Anita Tigre. Yeah, it's Anita Tigre.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yes, I know who your aunt is, I know. Come on. Come on. All right, go do it.
Come on. I know all of procras—
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): All of you students procrastinate to the last minute because you're trying to make it perfect. Just do it.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't procrastinate. We've been working on it. We just haven't had the great— the good interview yet.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Listen, just— if you just put your mind to it, you'll be able to take care of it.
Eric: And Connor, I want to shift your labels. I want to shift your superior up and your savior down.
Brandon: Okay. Oof. My savior is down to minus two now.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And my superior is up to zero.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: Ha-zaa.
Eric: Connor, I'm gonna give you plus one to your mandatory ask a question roll.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Because you asked an adult who could actually tell you what to do.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Thank you.
Julia: Eric, when we were describing Obstructer Constructor before the episode, you called them like a— like, mid-tier scientist, is that what you said?
Amanda: Middling technologist.
Eric: Middling technologist.
Julia: Middling technologist. Cool. While Rowan is going off to have a therapy session—
Eric: Oh, well, I wanted to— hold on, this is—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Miss Rita is, like, stepping in between the panels and be like—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Craft, hold on. Rowan, go get settled. You can sit in— either the couch or the bean bag chair. You can just lay on the floor. I just— it's— you can do it.
Julia: Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): I'm a floor guy, so—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah, no, I'll do that with you.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Just sit on the floor. We'll sit on the floor. Hey, Craft, hey, thank you for getting Rowan here. I— there's no way— I really did not think that she would do it on herself, so I appreciate that.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. She's been having a little trouble with a specific thing the past two weeks.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay.
Julia (as Craft): And I don't feel like it's my place to tell you about it, but like, you know, you could probably ask, like, "Hey, what's been going on these past two weeks?" So—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay. Good to know.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Can you tell me anything else?
Julia (as Craft): I— like, I just don't feel like it's right for me to say something about it.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Ooh. I'm using my guidance counselor intuition, and I am— ooh, okay.
Eric: A pale shade of green washes over her face.
Julia: Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): If I'm worried about it.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Miss Rita): For sure. But no, you took—
Julia (as Craft): Uh-huh.
Eric (as Miss Rita): —the proper steps, and I appreciate that. And—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. We were gonna come to you, and then you were here already, so that was wild.
Eric (as Miss Rita):You gotta— you have to work on it from all sides. That is what growth is. Good—hey, Craft, great job.
Julia (as Craft): Thank you.
Eric: And I'm gonna give you one respect.
Julia: Yay.
Amanda: Whoa.
Eric: Boop. Boop.
Julia: That's two respect from Miss Rita.
Eric: Boop.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: Boop.
Amanda: What happens when you get three?
Julia: When I get four, I get an advancement, which means, basically, I can reject their influence at plus three, or I can take plus one to a label of their choice.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: And you also literally get one advancement. You level up, and you get a bonus thing, which is cool.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: But you got to maintain it, because I can take it away if I want to.
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: Oh, I didn't know that. That's cool.
Amanda: Just like life.
Eric: Yeah. So I hope— just, yeah, don't let Miss Rita down.
Amanda: I thought role-playing games weren't escapist fantasy.
Julia: Yeah. Craft is not gonna let Miss Rita down, and Craft is also, immediately after she leaves, going to go break into that closet that has all the villain equipment.
Eric: Hmm. Hell yeah.
Julia: I'm going to use one of my Scion moves for that, actually.
Eric: Really?
Julia: Which is called All The Best Stuff.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: Tell me about it.
Brandon: What is that?
Julia: You've compiled access to caches of equipment and weaponry other sups have hidden in the city. When you access a cache, say whose cache it is. If it's a hero's, role plus savior. If it's villain's, roll plus danger. On a hit, you find a tool or intel useful to your situation. The GM will give you the details. On a seven and nine, you leave evidence that you've been there. On a miss, you trip an alarm and they're coming. Prepare to explain yourself.
Eric: That's— oh, I love Masks. Goddamn. So here's literally the comic book panel, right? I think we're going from, like, top left to top right of this page, where we're starting with Miss Rita say—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hey, Craft, good job. You are beaming. You, like— we are watching this— the respect point wash over your character, and then it's like, panel, you're walking down the hallway. Panel, you're walking down the hallway. Stopping in front of a door and then busting it open.
Julia: I think I'm a little more subtle than that, but yeah.
Eric: No, I— no, no, no, but just like the cascade of going from like you—of you getting that walking and then immediately causing mischief.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Okay. Tell me how you figured out which door this is, because I think that the cache is just in a random unmarked door in the high school.
Julia: I think during Craft's freshman year, the first, like, year being there, the first year of kind of Dr. Prometheus being in the Cube. The school was much more on top of taking the drones that he would send.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And putting them away. and Craft, being somewhat curious about what was going on with that, sneakily followed one time that they confiscated one of the drones.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And saw where the door was.
Eric: I love it.
Julia: And now is like— has, like, marked it in some capacity so that she knows where to find it. I have this idea too, that it, like, is constantly moving through the school somehow.
Eric: Hmm. That's a Harvey Withers joint.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: That guy is astral projecting the actual door into different places around the school.
Amanda: Ooh.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Absolutely. I love it. Okay, yes, tell me the move again, and let's do it.
Julia: When you access a cache, say whose cash it is? I think we're gonna say that it's the school's confiscation cash.
Eric: For sure. I think— honestly, to ramp up the stakes a little bit, because this person is also on your respect list. Ostensibly, it's Wordsmith's cache.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: So in that case, if it's a hero's cache, you roll plus savior.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: On a hit, you find a tool or intel useful to your situation. I'm looking for something in particular, but we'll see how it goes.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: On a seven and nine, you leave evidence that you've been there. And on a miss, you trip an alarm and they're coming. Prepare to explain yourself.
Eric: I love it. All right, let's do it.
Amanda: High stakes, baby.
Eric: Scion move. Scion move. Scion—
Brandon: Scion move.
Eric: I find this so funny— before the roll happens, I don't need to explicate how sick this is. So the reason why this is happening is like, oh, yeah, you know where villains have cache is because that is your history. But we are now using it in a different way, so it slots so perfectly into our setting. I love this game. It's a good game. Good game, folks.
Julia: It's a good game. Good game.
Eric: Brandon, it's a good game.
Brandon: It's a good game!
Eric: Stop saying it's a bad game, Brandon.
Brandon: Yes, sir!
Julia: I rolled an eight.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: And I add plus two with savior.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: So that is a 10.
Eric: Let's extremely go.
Julia: Woo. So my thought process is Craft has been thinking a lot about this weird, shitty teleporter that she got from the Ooze—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: —and that Cyberpunk identified. And has been thinking a lot about Obstructer Constructor. And I think that— knowing that they are a middling machinist—
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —Craft is looking for, like, an EMP or something like that, to sort of make a circle of machines inert.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: For sure. I think you break into the cache. In here, it is like an evidence locker, right? There is just random stuff in here.
Brandon: And 12 baggies of cocaine.
Eric: They definitely keep the drugs that they confiscate off of students in here. Absolutely. Yeah, I think there's definitely an EMP in here. That's the rock, paper, scissors of dealing with machinists and mad scientists and—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —geniuses, right? It's like, I'm sure that they grabbed an EMP from here. I think it's funny that, like, a student had an EMP on them like— that they brought to school and it shut down, like, an entire wing of a school at some point.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And they're like, "Give— do not— you don't need these. You don't." There must have been some, like, no superpowers but gadgets, sort of person, like a real Batman-esque character.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Who brought this to school and it just went off in their poorly secured utility belt.
Brandon: Can I pitch you Inspector Gadget instead of Batman?
Julia I was gonna say, I think it was also someone had beef with one of the robot cliques.
Eric: Oh, sure.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: And wanted to make sure that they stopped, I don't know, doing what they were doing.
Brandon: Who doesn't have beef with the robot cliques? You know?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I mean, the Bike Bunch.
Brandon: The Bike Bunch.
Eric: They're a bunch of bitches, I'll tell you that much.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Why am I picturing the EMP in the shape of a yo-yo?
Brandon: I don't know, Amanda.
Amanda: With the fiber optic cable—
Julia: Interesting choice.
Amanda: —as the strength.
Eric: I think that's it.
Julia: I was picturing it as one of those staples buttons.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: That's very good. And then when you hit it, it goes, "No."
Eric: It goes, "That was easy."
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That's how you shut down an entire staples.
Brandon: I mean, the person, yeah, who made it probably did just reuse the staples button, so—
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Honestly, I think that's great. That's very spy of you.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric: Like teen spy. Oh, no, I'm changing it. Not Inspector Gadget, not Batman. There's, like, a teen spy.
Julia: An agent Cody Banks situation.
Eric: A real Cody Banks situation, Julia. That's awesome.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Yeah. I think that you just slip in and out, but you get a good look at everything else in there.
Julia: Yeah, I don't think it's my first time being in here.
Eric: No. No, no, no.
Julia: No.
Brandon: What else is cool? What else does Craft see in there, Eric? What's cool?
Eric: You know, there's tons of stuff on the— on— in there, just lots of baggies and boxes and gadgets galore.
Amanda: Money?
Eric: You want thingamabobs? I got 20.
Brandon: Whoa.
Julia: Whoa. That's so many thingamabobs.
Eric: But I think sitting kind of just— leaning up against some shelving because it hasn't been properly cataloged yet, are the legs and torso, an exploded torso of ART-AI.
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: Craft, you do have a moment to look at the robot, if you'd like. Of course, I'd have to— I'd ask you to roll again to see if you can chance it.
Brandon: Do it, do it, do it.
Julia: Can I take photos of it?
Eric: Yes. If you roll again, you can take photos.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Yes. If you would like to check it out, indeed, and you can have evidence that this is true. All right, so let's do this again.
Julia: Ha! A nine plus two.
Eric: Let's go.
Brandon: Oh shit.
Eric: Hey, the dice wants what it wants.
Brandon: Julia also shows you 11 with her two middle fingers.
Eric: That's why I never level up, see if I care.
Julia: Fair. I'm doing fine.
Eric: Yeah. Craft, the coast is still clear. You can sneak back and check out the torso, and spray painted on me inside. So it's very cartoonish the explosion to be. It's almost like, you know—
Julia: Right.
Eric: —it's just— like it's exploded out like a flower, almost, and you could just see—
Julia: Yeah, like a shell. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, you're gonna see inside of the shell, and spray painted in there is, "Obstructer Constructor did this. Screw you, kids."
Julia: Yeah. I figured that was the case.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'll let the gang know when I see them next.
Eric: Yeah, for sure. Craft, you can slip out of the door without anyone seeing you, which is the perfect time, because over the loudspeaker says—
Eric (as PA System): Shelley Craft, please report to the auxiliary gymnasium. Shelley Craft, to the auxiliary gymnasium.
Julia: Do I know what normally happens in the auxiliary gymnasium?
Eric: The auxiliary gymnasium is where when people don't want to do gym and they say that they're sick or have their period. They kind of go there to, like, stretch.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Oh, where I used to live all of high school in.
Julia: Oh, my favorite.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: I can't believe I never pulled that shit. Never, not one.
Julia: You know, you were too good of a kid, Amanda.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Making up for it now.
Julia: All right. Shelley's like—
Julia (as Craft): Heh.
Julia: And then throw, like— throws the EMP and like— I assume she has, like, a messenger bag for school. I don't know why.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: You're gonna throw a button that is easily pressable into a flat object?
Julia: I'm sure there's a safety lock function on it, Brandon.
Eric: Yeah. Brandon, there's on and off, and on is a thumbs up button, and the off is a lock.
Julia: I think Craft, as she's walking, takes out her phone, and is just like—
Julia (as Craft): Got a lead on a potential villain for us to follow through with. Thumbs up emoji, cloud emoji.
Julia: And then go to the auxiliary gym. Why not?
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. And today's mid roll is brought to you by the sound of rain on a skylight. Incredible. Thank you so much to our newest patrons, who have helped us get even closer to our goal of 50 new paid patrons, after which we are going to play, not just Brindlewood Bay, which was the winner of the first One Shot Derby, and we will be playing very soon for our paying patrons. But also another game from the same One Shot Derby. So thank you, Samantha Kiley, John Aiden Carly, and Eric R. If you want to join these distinguished folks and have me read your name in a future midroll, brought to you by— I don't even know what it's going to be next. Join us at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. You get all kinds of stuff, including access to the Discord, aka the happiest place on the internet. You get ad-free episodes. You get Party Planning, audio and video. Julia and I reviewed the Marvel Swimsuit Edition, incredible. You gotta join at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. And if you like Join the Party, I know you are going to love the other shows that are a part of the Multitude Podcast collective. And today, I gotta tell you about This Guy Sucked, a History podcast for haters, by haters, where historian Dr. Claire Aubin, who I actually got to hang out with last week. She is as incredible hang as you would imagine, has a new expert on every week to pull back the scholarly curtain on some of the world's biggest bummers. No dead person is safe, and the show's guests prove that the best part of understanding the past is criticizing it. You're gonna love it. From Charlemagne to Carl Schmitt, you have incredible people to learn about and start to hate. So join This Guy Sucked every Thursday in your podcast app now. This episode is sponsored by Mint Mobile. Now, summer is just around the corner, and the folks at Mint Mobile think that, you know, all the pressure around summer bodies, et cetera, we're gonna throw that out. Okay? All we want is to make our wallet as big as possible and our wireless bill as small as possible. And with wireless plans for just 15 bucks a month, you can have both without breaking a sweat or breaking the bank. Now, one thing I've said before, and I'll say it again, I love that Mint Mobile's website is actually very good and easy to use. I remember one of my first tasks as a sort of, like, kid who could use the internet, was helping my dad figure something out with his wireless provider when I was like, you know, 12 or 15, it was terrible. And I love that Mint Mobile has evolved into 2025, unlike some of the other providers out there. So you have high- speed data or data, whatever it is that you say, an unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network with every Mint Mobile plan. And no matter what, you can use your own phone and bring your own phone number, all your contacts, et cetera, et cetera. This year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank, get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/jointheparty. That's mintmobile.com/jointheparty. Now, upfront payment of $45 for three-month five gigabyte plan is required, which is equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options are available. Taxes and fees extra, see Mint Mobile for details.
Tom: Hey, do you like role-playing games? Well, you should check out Mystery Quest. It's an actual play podcast where we focus on all kinds of indie TTRPGs with a rolling cast of special guests. You can find us anywhere where you get your podcasts. I'll see you there.
Amanda: And now, back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: In Dr. Rita's office, she— I think she walks in and she starts moving her desk back so that you two could both sit on the floor together. She pulls out seat cushions and offers one to you.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm fine. Thanks.
Amanda: And then Rowan gestures where her butt is hovering, like, an inch and a half above the floor.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Eric (as Miss Rita): No problem. Two for me. It's extra squishy on my butt, because I'm old. So, Rowan, hey, how is it going?
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm gonna be kind of honest with you, doc. Are you a doctor?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Miss Rita is fine. I am, but don't worry about it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, sick.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): How do I deal with the crushing knowledge that losing control over my powers, even for a second, could kill many, many people? Is kind of like the thing that I have been thinking about.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Uh-hmm.
Amanda (as Rowan): And it is tough.
Brandon: I mean, it really could be kill everyone, because you could implode the planet.
Amanda: Oh, no, I didn't know Brandon was voicing my inner monolog.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Heavy one.
Amanda (as Rowan): Because, like, I know what to do, and I do all of my things, and I meditate and I pray. And I do, you know, all of the running and the gardening, because I heard that putting your hands in the soil lowers your heart rate for some reason. And I feel like that can't be bad. And so I— I'm trying all the things that I'm supposed to do, and I am worried that if I tell you about the things that I find challenging, that you will put me in the Cube, because I might be, like, dangerous to others. And Dr. Mo keeps saying, like, "Try, there's no answers. Life's the test." And it is making me feel like, what if when I leave school, then there's no more ranking, and I don't know how good I am relative to my peers? And then I just, like, do things. And then one day you stop, and then you're dead. And that sort of feels, I don't know, bad. And does everyone else just walk around, like, ignoring that all day? Because I don't— yeah.
Amanda: And you see that Rowan has very slowly just, like, risen up and the air cushion has grown and grown over time. And then she sort of looks around and notices, and sinks herself back down.
Brandon: Can you say garden for me again, Amanda?
Amanda: Garden.
Julia: Garden.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I understand, Rowan. I definitely understand.
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't think you do, because you might get, like, neon yellow as I am here, being upset. But if you get annoyed at freaking Powers, saying another dumb shit about— sorry, dumb stuff, about how, like, you're not good, and he's gonna beat you one day, and maybe you should beat me, because I don't wanna be very high in the rankings. Because If I'm high in the rankings, then I have to do something that everyone can see.
Amanda (Voidie-Lynn): Honey, do you think this is making you less weird in Miss Rita's eyes?
Eric: Here's an interesting question. I know that Voidie-Lynn is a NPC that you control.
Amanda: Hmm. Yeah.
Eric: But what Voidie-Lynn just said would be a trigger for piercing the mask.
Amanda: Well, Eric—
Eric: And it is, I guess, scary to you. If this Voidie-Lynn is a part of your character, do you want to trigger that?
Brandon (as Connor): Do it, do it.
Amanda: I was wondering if I was allowed to pierce my own mask, because that's something I would love to do.
Eric: I think—
Brandon: Take a knife and stab it in your own eye.
Eric: I think you're piercing. You're just, like, trying to pierce everything about this situation.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And we'll see how the roll goes, and you will get information accordingly.
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: Okay.
Julia: It's like in DND, doing an insight check on yourself.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Which is one of my favorite things.
Amanda: I don't know if anyone in this party has ever intentionally failed a roll, but, you know, here we are.
Julia: No, I don't know about that.
Brandon: Nobody here is.
Amanda: No one.
Eric: So let's just pierce the mask of this situation, we'll see how it goes.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Roll plus mundane.
Amanda: That's a zero for Rowan right now. All right, that's a six plus four for a 10.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: A six and a four?
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: A six and a four.
Amanda: Well, a six on the January, four on the Chad.
Eric: Oh, my God. Okay.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: So you get to ask three questions.
Julia: Of yourself.
Eric: It can be either of yourself, or it can be of Miss Rita, because she's kind of in the whole situation here. What are you really planning? What do you want me to do? What do you intend to do? How could I get your character to blank? How could I gain influence over you? I wonder if that's Voidie-Lynn. I wonder if that's Miss Rita. I think this is just a very interesting opportunity here.
Amanda: I mean, this is Voidie-Lynn piercing the mask of Rowan, right?
Eric: I'm asking you—
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: —what you want to do, because this is weird. So you need to ask me these questions, and we can talk about the answers.
Amanda: Rowan is going to look Voidie-Lynn in the anime eyelash eyes, and say—
Amanda (as Rowan): What do you intend to do?
Eric: That's a good question. I think Voidie-Lynn wants you to become more powerful. I think that by denying it, you can't grow and you can't access more of gravity. You can't feel more parts of it. I think gravity manipulation at its most basic is like, "Look, I can float. Look, I can make sure that things don't hit things as much. Look at that."
Brandon: Eric, I don't mean to poke at this, but there's also, what do you want me to do? That's a—
Eric: Amanda's asking me—
Brandon: No, I know, but I think Voidie— like, that's a verb. What is Voidie-Lynn verb intend to do?
Eric: Oh, verb. Right.
Brandon: Like action-wise.
Eric: It's all about verbs, right? It's—
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Good note. Good note.
Brandon: I just want to know what Voidie-Lynn’s going to do.
Eric: No, I think the verb would be improve, unleash.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: Oh, that's so scary. The word improve sucks. Oh, no.
Eric: It's improve, the word is improve, because I think you— she's saying unleash, but the wor— the actual verb is improve.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Oh, shit. Okay.
Eric: And I think Miss Rita is like—
Eric (as Miss Rita): You know, the rings aren't everything. It's more— I know that it looks like it's important for you to do better at all times and everything, but you know, it's more that everyone— we're trying to come up with a way for everyone to understand how they're doing and so many people are coming from different directions. So it's more about getting everyone on the same— understanding everyone on the same playing field than it is improving yourself.
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): And by improving yourself, of course, she means reaching the height of your powers. You're no good to anybody as a half-baked super. What do you think you're doing with the gifts the universe gave you?
Eric: Exactly. Give me another question.
Amanda: Rowan puts her head in her hands, and you see her sort of, like, rubbing at the inside of her left bicep, where her tattoo starts through her suit jacket. And then she just, like, raises her head up and really looks at Miss Rita and says in a way quieter voice than before—
Amanda (as Rowan): What do you want me to do?
Eric (as Miss Rita): You know, I've read over your file, Rowan, and I've talked to some people who are close to you. And, you know, it sounds like you're really worried about what happened with that 12-year-old girl at the house.
Amanda (as Rowan): Why would—
Eric (as Miss Rita): And, you know, Rowan, you did the right thing. She lost con— she's astute. She's a, you know, a young woman. She's figuring it out. She doesn't have control over her powers like you do. And I think it's important that you put your— you continue to put yourselves in situations where you can be helpful. There are things you can do that other people can, and there will be threats that only you can deal with. And I hope you see that as a good thing, and not as another responsibility.
Amanda (as Rowan): And this is a good thing that I scanned an entire neighborhood and broke the windows and trees and foundations? And I'm pretty sure I ruined, like, two tree houses.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Rowan, honest—
Julia: The neighbor had had so many tree houses.
Amanda (as Rowan): Like every house had a tree house. I don't even know how they did that. And now those kids don't even have tree houses. What are they gonna do?
Brandon: There's a superhero whose power is building— super building tree houses.
Eric: Oh, the arboreal architect, Brandon?
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Fuck you.
Brandon: That's exactly it is.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That's good.
Amanda (as Rowan): It's worth it for a whole neighborhood to be like, "Oh, yeah, that's the crack in the house that I bought with my money that somehow someone gave me, because people could buy houses, I guess, in the past. That then they have to look at and they're like, oh, that scary girl with the weird, like string thing coming out of her sleeve and hoisting this poor elementary school girl up in the air, and they'll just think about me forever?
Eric (as Miss Rita): You know, Samantha is actually— was actually fine, and she has already called the school about looking into our middle schoolers program.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Eric (as Miss Rita): So—
Amanda (as Rowan): That's— I guess that's good.
Eric (as Miss Rita): I— Rowan, I think that you're so worried about what other people are going to say. Yeah, I think you need to worry about what you think is best and stop worrying about what everyone else is going to say. Because more often than not, I think you're going to make the right decision.
Amanda: I think that really hits Rowan hard, and tears are kind of, like, glistening, like, you know, gathering in her eyes, and she's trying really hard not to let them spill. And so she looks over Miss Rita shoulder, is there like a window in this office? Probably, right? If it's—
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: —a calming one. So she'll look over Miss Rita's shoulder, out onto the quad, where I think the fountain still has, like, a grayish tint from the opening problem during orientation. And in the glint of the fountain appears Voidie-Lynn, who kind of, like, floats closer, almost like a balloon that's losing air. And looking deeply into Rowan's eyes, says—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): How can I gain influence over you, sugar?
Eric: That's a good question, Amanda. How could she?
Amanda: It's really hard when I say things that then I have to come up with an answer to.
Eric: You're the one who— you're piercing your own mask.
Amanda: No, I know.
Eric: I don't know what to tell you.
Amanda: And I think Rowan is going to answer in her own mind, because she doesn't want to look more out of touch in front of Miss Rita. And silently, Rowan answers—
Amanda (as Rowan): Tell me it's more dangerous to suppress it, for others, I mean. Okay. Thank you, Miss Rita. I'm just going to stop worrying. That's great advice. That's great advice. That's what I'm going to do.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Okay, that's not what I—
Amanda (as Rowan): I appreciate it.
Eric (as Miss Rita): That's not what I was trying to say.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you very much. I love— great pillow. I'm sorry I didn't use that. That was probably rude. Okay, goodbye.
Amanda: And Rowan is going to escape as quickly as she can.
Eric: You escape, there's a panel beat where Miss Rita is just sitting there, watching you. And I think that you see her, like, release a breath and the color on her face. When she's in these sessions, it's usually like a sunny yellow, a gold, an orange of openness, of excitement, of attentiveness. And I think she— that she lets her breath go, and it is like this gray blue of fear that washes over her whole body.
Julia: Oh, no,
Amanda (as Rowan): Oof.
Eric: But you didn't see that. You ran out.
Amanda: I'm sure that won't come up.
Julia: No, I think that's fine, and no consequences to that, whatsoever.
Eric: Connor, your phone goes off. I think your ringtone is Take Me Out to the Ball Game. Because this is when your aunt calls you.
Brandon: Why would it be Take Me Out to the Ball Game?
Eric: Because you guys are always going to baseball games.
Julia: Yeah, guys, obviously.
Eric: Obviously.
Amanda: Eric, what's the Minor League baseball team called in Jupiter?
Eric: Oh.
Amanda: The Ios, you're totally right.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: I was gonna say Jupiter Astros.
Amanda: That's one of them. It's Jupiter, right?
Eric: Yes. I was gonna say Jackalopes, but fine, whatever. We'll replace it. Fine, fine. Okay.
Julia: It also can't be the Astros, because that's the name of the bowling place in Lake Town City.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Amanda: And a real baseball team.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Connor takes his phone out of his back pocket and answers it, and says—
Brandon (as Connor): Hello, you got Connor.
Eric (as voice message): This is an automated voice message from Heroes 4 Hire. It seems like you've inappropriately used our information. If you'd like to confess to using it, please press one. If you don't think you inappropriately use this and would like to dispute, please press two.
Brandon (as Connor): Vote for Ruben Studdard. I—
Amanda: Connor wasn't even born when Ruben Studdard was on TV.
Julia: Associate.
Amanda: Operator.
Eric (as voice message): I'm sorry, that wasn't one of the responses. You can say one or I'm guilty, or two or dispute.
Brandon (as Connor):Two, dispute.
Eric (as voice message): Okay, we'll see if we can put you in touch with one of our lawyers. Please stay on the line.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Julia: Is it PJ Lawbody? Is it PJ Lawbody?
Eric (as voice message): The wait time is approximately three to seven hours.
Brandon: I hang up.
Eric: Fair enough.
Amanda: It just occurred to me, what if when you press zero on like a phone tree because you are being impatient and want to talk to a person? It just sploots water in your face.
Julia: That'd be funny.
Brandon: Why not?
Amanda: For it to be like, "That's all it is. I'm after this. I'm after—"
Julia: Did they—
Eric: Connor, what do you do? After you hang up, what do you do?
Brandon: I was gonna ask— or do we want to see what Powers and Dr. Ram talked about or no?
Eric: If you want to see— you're not going to see his private conversation. If you want to see it, you can.
Brandon: Okay. Well, I do want to, so maybe Connor is going to— I assume this happened like right as he was walking out the room.
Eric: Yeah, I think you walk out of the classroom. Rick Powers drinking from a water fountain with bear claws, walks in around you.
Julia: If only there was a character that had super hearing who might be really good at eavesdropping.
Brandon: Oh, do you know one, Julia?
Julia: Yeah. His name is the Big Ole Ear.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. So as Connor picks up his phone and says, you know, dispute, whatever. And the robot hangs up on the phone, but he says, "Haha, that's so funny." And then hold— continues to hold his phone as Rick Powers walks past him. And as the— he closed the door behind him, he just kind of, like, stomps his feet in place to make it sound like he's walking away.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: He's like, yeah, these jerks who can only have mundane hearing. They'll never be able to tell the difference.
Brandon: And then he goes like—
Brandon (as Connor): No way.
Brandon: And then puts his phone away and puts his ear up to the door.
Eric: Wonderful. All right, let's unleash your powers. I think that's—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: I think you are absolutely trying to listen. And what is it like when you— when you're doing, like, spy listening? I feel like we did like you're attuning yourself to someone's body to see if they're lying, sort of thing. Well, what's your like— well, how do you, like, tune your powers in for spying?
Brandon: I think it's very similar. It's very like— sort of like— have you seen those, like, gifs online? Where, like, they're infinite gifs, where, like, you zoom into one aspect of the painting—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —and then that explodes.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: And you go and explodes, go and explodes. It's kind of like that, but, like, for hearing.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Where you just, like, infinitely focus and try to find the exact thing you're— like, exact, like, sound waves you're looking for.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. I like it. I need plus freak, my friend.
Brandon: All right, my freak is three.
Julia: Let that freak flag fly.
Eric: Let that freak flag fluuur.
Amanda: You love to see it.
Brandon: That's good, because I got five, so it's eight.
Eric: Okay.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: That's good.
Julia: That's good, that's mid.
Eric: That's mid. That's totally fine. I don't think you can do anything selfish to boost it, so let's just give you an eight. You get a hit, you do it. On a seven to nine, you will— you can either mark a condition or the GM will tell you how the effect is unstable or temporary.
Brandon: Eric, I still have three conditions. I cannot afford another one.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Tell me how this is unstable and temporary.
Eric: Okay. You are listening to Dr. Ram and Powers. And Powers is in the middle of an explanation of something, so you kind of catch it in the middle. He's like—
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, and I think that that's going to be about the time where we grab all of them, will be set in position. And I don't think anything bad will happen in school. Should be fine.
Eric: Dr. Ram says—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Fine, but you're going to be supervised as you do it. I think you're taking a risk, but this is a little bit too much for you to figure it out on your own.
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, of course. That's why I sent you an email, so we can talk about this. Absolutely, for sure. I honestly— I don't think that the cloud cousins are even that hard. They— I could probably get with them myself. But we'll— especially the three of us, with Wraith and Dreamcast, I got it. Absolutely. No problem.
Brandon: With the sentient computer man. That'll be helpful.
Eric: You don't even know— does Connor thinking— is Connor thinking that?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Connor and Brandon are both like, yeah, that living Dreamcast. Sure, absolutely.
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, no. We got it under control. I just— I need you to have a little bit of trust in me here. I know we're taking a risk. But obviously, in order to get the A, in order to keep your number one rank, you gotta take risks.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay, fine. Thank you for letting me know. I will bring it up with Wordsmith. I'll bring it up with Mr. Withers, so they know. I do need to tell you, I need you to be— if you're— we're going to do this, the electoral grant is still down, so we've assigned you— we've assigned your group to be roving security, so that'll make sense. But you're doing this without a net here. We're having— an electrician was here. They're gonna come back, but still, by the time that this is happening, it's not going to be fully—
Eric: And that's when Dr. Ram looks around and says—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Hold on.
Eric: I think he rolls up the sleeve of his button down, and there's like a astronaut super computer, kind of just, like, on his wrist.
Brandon: Cool.
Eric: With, like, you— with— ordinarily, it's like telling of, like, the oxygen in the room and everything, just, like, lots of beeps and boops, a black screen with a lot of green text on it. And he pops out a white keyboard, and he types on it really fast. It says—
Amanda: I'll say it, that's hot. That's hot.
Brandon: It's not like in him. It's like a piece of technology he's wearing.
Julia: It's like a gauntlet.
Eric: Yeah, it's a wrist—
Brandon: Like the quarterback play thing, yeah.
Eric: It's exactly like a quarterback play thing, but it's like a super computer that pops out. And, of course, it's all white, and it's kind of, like, astronaut colorway, that is NASA 70s colorway that he has.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And he pops out, and he says—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): If someone's listening, stop listening.
Brandon: Connor stops listening.
Amanda: He withdraws it, "Noink!"
Brandon: He doesn't move, though. He doesn't want to be heard.
Eric: He just see— you just stay there.
Brandon: He just, like, freeze, like a deer.
Eric: You freeze. And you can hear Dr. Ram walking towards the door. What do you do?
Brandon: Fuck. Connor is going to quickly take his, like, backpack. Take it— rip it off his back, turn it— unzip it, and turn it upside down and let everything fall out of it.
Julia: Oh, no, my backpack. It's got a hole in it. Oh, no.
Brandon: And then start, like, slowly picking things up and, like, at the same time, sort of shuffling stuff around, so it looks even more messy.
Eric: For sure. Door opens, Dr. Ram sees you hunched over your backpack.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, hey, Dr. Ram.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): I just dropped my bag, so— and I mean, you know me, I need to be organized, So it's— I need to, sort of, like, make sure everything is back in appropriate order.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Yeah, sure. I'm sorry your backpack— all your stuff fell out of your backpack like that.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, it's kind of weird. I— when I went to put it back on, I put it on upside down on accident—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Hmm.
Brandon (as Connor): —and it was slightly ajar, so, you know— I'm kind of heavy, so when I was like, you know, stomping out of the class, the zipper started coming more and more— I really need to eat a new backpack is what I'm trying to say. Books are heavy as well, you know?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Hmm.
Julia: Books are heavy.
Eric: Dr. Ram takes a second, and another beat, just looking at you.
Brandon (as Connor): Did you need me for something?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): No. No. Thought I heard something.
Brandon (as Connor): You probably heard me drop my backpack.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): That must have been what it is. Yeah, no problem. Okay. See you later, Connor. Good luck on the project.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you again for your help.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Thank you.
Eric: And he closed the door.
Brandon: As soon as he closed the door, Connor just takes all the shit and goes vrreee and shoves it in the backpack.
Eric: It's true. Do you leave?
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Eric: Okay, great. Okay, great. Let's go to the auxiliary gym, shall we?
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Julia: Sure.
Brandon: Let us—
Amanda: This is like being in my own cartoon. I love Masks. This is so much fun.
Eric: The auxiliary gym is on the other side of campus. It is, like, truly, like— when there is gym class, we need a place to put students if training goes long, because, as we said before, the main gym also is the danger room, it's the training room with the holographics and everything.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: So if there's gym or someone, you got to separate your gym class, you gotta just send them to the auxiliary gym. It's— but it's, like, pretty far away. It's an extra building that's got built relatively recently, but just, like, I don't know, put a volleyball net in there and some badminton rackets. I don't know, sure. Whatever. So no one usually goes in there except to, like, make out and stuff.
Julia: Sure. Makes sense.
Eric: Et cetera.
Julia: Makes sense that the PA system told me to come here.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: The sentient PA system.
Eric: Yeah. Oh, it— maybe it is a sentient PA system. That's scary.
Julia: And it wants to make out with Shelley?
Eric: Yeah. Craft, you are walking up to the auxiliary gym. The doors is just kind of lolling open, and you see that there is light coming from inside. You see that there's like a crackle of energy that you can see as well. And you hear someone struggling against, like, something covering their mouth, like
Eric (as Slaughter): [muffled scream]
Eric: And then whack. What do you do?
Julia: Craft pokes her head in and is like—
Julia (as Craft): Huh?
Brandon: Like a dog?
Julia (as Craft): Hmm? What's up?
Eric (as Slaughter): Shelley, I see you. Come over here. Come on.
Julia: I recognize that voice.
Eric: Well, you've been ignoring her phone calls and text messages.
Julia: Yeah, that's what I figured.
Amanda: I'm sweating, I'm sweating.
Eric: Emily Slaughter is waiting for you. Emily Slaughter is wearing the most, like, Democratic nominee for president pantsuit you've ever seen in your life.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: It is so blue, so blue, white, you know, white button down shirt underneath, no tie. The number of buttons that's open is appropriate for a female CEO, you know?
Brandon: So one.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: A suggestive two.
Julia: Yes, like I have currently.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Suggestive two.
Eric: A suggestive two. No more than two, but a suggestive two.
Amanda: Mid-clavicle, so you know the decolletage is right underneath your view.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Leave them wanting more.
Eric: Yeah. And Emily Slaughter is holding her soul Katana out that is crackling with energy. And she's also holding one of those badminton rackets.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Which is where the crack came from. Because sitting next to her, tied to a chair and bound and gagged is a big dude with long, blonde hair. There are bruises all over his ordinarily, like, Roman Empire, sort of, like, kingly face.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: He is the heft of the incise of a king drawn in a medieval manuscript.
Julia: Got it.
Eric: And I think he would be dressed accordingly, except for the fact that he's wearing the dark green jumpsuit that all prisoners of the Cube, the villain prison, ordinarily would be wearing. But, of course, he's wear— they— I guess they can't pull off the, like, medieval boots—
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: —with, like, you know, 5,000 ties and epaulets that such boots would have.
Epaulets are the things on your shoulders, but I don't care. I'm moving on.
Amanda: Dangly dues as Jammy says.
Eric: On the ground that Emily Slaughter is kind of poking with the badminton racket that she's— she, like, whacks this guy in the face, and then is still, like, holding the racket, and then is, like, poking around these bits of metal of a sword that has been shattered into six pieces on the ground. This big sword, Broadsword, need two hands, and is just, like, in pieces, kind of around this chair.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Shelley, here's the thing about grades. It doesn't matter who does them, just needs to get done and then it goes up. It's fundamentally the thing that I've known about, grades going up and also your ranking going up. So if you're not going to do your assignment, I guess someone's gonna have to step in and do it for you. So here you go.
Julia (as Craft): Emily, good to see you. How have you been?
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): I'm great. Everything's great.
Julia (as Craft): I can tell.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Heroes 4 Hire, never been more hired. Now with you, I don't know how you're doing because you won't respond to my texts. You won't respond to my phone calls. So here I am.
Julia (as Craft): I've been very busy with schools.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Yeah, and I talked to the principal, and I looked at your file, and it sounds like you're not doing so great.
Julia (as Craft): I've been trying really hard these past two weeks.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Hmm. Okay. Good sample size. Yeah, for sure. I'm here to just help push you in the right direction, help plow some obstacles out of your way.
Julia (as Craft): Hmm. With a little torture, just for funsies, kind of thing or—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Just a little bit, not a lot. Come on. You gotta ask a villain some questions, so here you go. You might remember, he was at your villain Batz Mitzvah, your evil Mitzvah.
Julia (as Craft): I—
Amanda: Villainyera?
Brandon: Your sweet Villain-teen?
Eric: Brandon, hey, Brandon, here's a Joken.
Amanda: That one. That one.
Eric: Here's a Joken. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Julia, I had to make change. I had to give Brandon a Joken.
Julia: I think Craft just doesn't look at him, just, like, cannot make eye contact with him.
Eric: Hmm.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Come on.
Julia (as Craft): I— you know, I actually already have a lead, and it's actually really important to this project, because I was paying attention when it was assigned, that all of my teammates ask questions, not just me.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Then they can all come. What— he do— you got the—
Julia (as Craft): They're busy.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): —Inside Out guy and the Gravity Girl. Sure, yeah, they can come.
Julia (as Craft): They're— you know, they're kind of busy right now, so—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): I guess— get— I'll get them on the PA. Hold on. I got the— where did I—
Brandon: We hard cut to Connor in his dorm room, laying on his back with a big pink, squishy ball just bopping in the air and catching it.
Amanda: Yeah. Rowan is in a quiet corner outside, under a tree, doing some, like, breathing and meditation exercises.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Now, where is that walkie-talkie? Oh, here it is.
Eric: She opens up the jacket in his— like, 12 pockets on each side. She pulls it out and be like—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Hey, Harvey, can you ask the PA system to get some of Shelley's friends to come down to the auxiliary gym?
Julia (as Craft): No, listen, that— first off, teammates, because I'm on a club team as you know, because you looked at my file, apparently.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): And again, I think we've totally got this. I think you can return him to the Cube where you found him. And, you know, I think that if someone found out you were involved, that would make my grade go down. And that would be counterintuitive to what you're trying to do here.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Shelley, come on.
Julia (as Craft): You can just keep staring at me.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): You're really— you're gonna do this grade ? You're gonna— you're fine with where your rank is? You're gonna raise your rank.
Julia (as Craft): Totally, totally gonna do that.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Okay. So why don't you make a promise to me? If you raise your rank by the end of this year. You raise it up, I don't know, top 25, top 20. Top 25, give you five spots for space. If you get up there, I'll get out of your life. I did my job. You're set off on your trajectory. The way that it is, top 25, you'll be able to get a job at a great team. You can work your way up. That would be perfect for you. But if you don't make it to top 25, then you have to work, or I tell you to work because we tried it your way, and now we're going to try it my way.
Julia (as Craft): Can I ask you, like, a totally honest question right now?
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Sure. Why not?
Julia (as Craft): Why does it matter? Like, genuinely, why does it matter to you how I'm doing in school, other than the fact you put me here?
Eric: I think you gotta pierce the mask. I don't know if she's gonna answer—
Brandon: Pierce that mask.
Amanda: Pierce that mask.
Eric: I don't know if she's gonna answer you.
Brandon: Pierce that mask.
Eric: Plus mundane, please.
Julia: Solidly a zero right now in mundane.
Brandon: Woo.
Amanda: None of us feel particularly normal.
Julia: Pretty fucking good. That's an 11.
Eric: Jesus.
Julia: We're rolling heavy here today, gang.
Eric: All right. Well, you got three questions. I think, why do you— what are you really planning, is attached to the question you just asked, so I can go from there.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And we can have this conversation.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): It matters to me of why you do well, because I picked you. We have a budget that we've put aside for recovering pieces of collateral damage from what villains do as they go through their life. And we're able to turn them into people who can have full lives of their own, but only if they accept the plan. I've invested plenty into you, and the least you can do is step up and do that. You were doing that in the first half of school, but last year, you decided to say, "No, Emily Slaughter. I'm fine. I got it. I'm just gonna get high in my room all the time and not do any of my assignments and tank my ranking."
Julia (as Craft): Have you considered that even when I was trying really, really hard, I still wasn't doing really, really good?
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): I can't imagine that, Shelley, because you still only know how to shoot lightning.
Julia (as Craft): I can do other stuff.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Okay. Show me an ice storm.
Julia (as Craft): I can do other stuff with electricity.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Okay, show me, right here. Broadsword here knows what he's doing. He knows what he's here for. Show me. Give me some of that thunderstorm stuff. Come on.
Julia (as Craft): So, like, talking about classes and stuff, Power Ethics 101 is, like— the first thing on the syllabus was like, "Don't do torture."
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): It's not torture if he's— if he knows what he's here for.
Julia (as Craft): He's currently tied to a chair.
Brandon: What are— who are you, the CIA, Eric?
Eric: Emily Slaughter rips the duct tape off of Broadsword's mouth and he says—
Eric (as Broadsword): Daughter of Prometheus, you must do what you must. I have complied in this bargain.
Julia (as Craft): Why?
Eric: If you would like to ask that question, you can use one of your pierce the mask questions for that.
Julia: I would love to ask why he's here.
Eric: Broadsword looks over at Emily, and Emily nods, and he says—
Eric (as Broadsword): They'll let me out sooner, child.
Julia (as Craft): If I electrocute you?
Eric (as Broadsword): If I participate.
Julia (as Craft): I'm gonna be honest. I don't feel good about that at all.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Ugh, Shelley. Fine, fine, fine, fine. I just— I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with you here. It seems pretty clear, all of this stuff seems pretty clear to me. I don't know why it doesn't seem clear to you. But if you got it, then you got it, and I'll leave you— and I'll let you do what you're going to do for the rest of senior year. If you agree, if you don't make top 25, you're working where I say when you get out of school. And I got the full weight of lots of folks who would love your services. Deal?
Julia: I think Shelley is just like—
Julia (as Craft): I mean, if I say yes, I can just run away.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Sure.
Julia (as Craft): I can just move to another town.
Amanda: That's a later problem, baby.
Julia (as Craft): That's a later problem for later Craft, baby.
Eric: You still got one more question if you'd like to use it before you shake her hand.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: A job offer has never sounded more threatening.
Julia: What are you really planning when she says you're gonna work for where I want you to work?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: What are you really planning?
Eric: She knows people, and if you're not going to do a good job on your own and get a good job on your own, you can still do something that benefits the good of the world in the places that she's gonna send you.
Julia: I'm worried she's gonna, like, turn me into just an electric guinea pig or something like that, with that answer.
Eric: I don't think she would do that, but I think that you'd have to go to some places and do some stuff that you were not okay with, and you're part of the deal.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: But she is a— if you're top 25, she won't need to do that, because the job offers will come on in.
Julia: I think Craft is just like—
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Julia: And shakes her hand, and then is like—
Julia (as Craft): Can you send Broadsword back to the Cube and maybe, like, I don't know, clean him up a little? This sucks. This whole situation— this is villain shit, Emily. I— and I'm very familiar with villain shit.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Oh, you're telling me about villain shit.
Julia (as Craft): This is villain shit.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): And you're walking around with contraband.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, technically, it's legal in New York state, so it's fine.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): No, the other thing. What is that— what's that— you got metal in your pocket, what is that?
Julia (as Craft): My vape?
Eric: She walks over and turns your pockets out, and—
Julia: Hey.
Eric: —there's the EMP and the teleportation device out.
Julia (as Craft): This is for my project.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): If you need technology, requisition it from the school. Stop taking it off your villain—
Julia (as Craft): But I buy $100 of Twinkies, and suddenly, it's a problem.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Take it— they— the school gives you resources. Don't take it off your villain friends.
Julia (as Craft): It's not off of a villain friend. It's from the school. It literally is from the school.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Yeah. I'm sure that the school has such shoddy worksmanship on both of these things. Come on.
Julia (as Craft): Well, I mean, I said it's from the school. I didn't say the school made it.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it, whatever, whatever.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, no, we draw the line at stealing things, but beating a man—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Oh, my God. Fine.
Julia (as Craft): —is fine.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Fine.
Brandon: And then Emily Slaughter stabs him, and walks away.
Amanda: I'm just imagining how many Twinkies $100 will get you at Costco. That's so many.
Eric: So many Twinkies.
Brandon: Not in this economy, Amanda.
Julia: It was a pallet of Twinkies.
Amanda: In the before times.
Eric: Emily walks over with her Katana out, and she takes steps, menacing steps towards Broadsword. And his hair is down like blonde— ratty, dirty blonde hair, just like over his head as he waits for what she's going to do next. And she takes the Soul Katana and she slices down on the Broadsword on the ground. It comes back together and she says—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): You can have it in there. Just don't tell him I gave it back to you.
Eric (as Broadsword): Aye, mistress. I'm in your debt.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): They always are. All right.
Julia: Jesus Christ.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): All right, we're going.
Eric: And she takes off the walkie-talkie again and says—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): I need extract from the auxiliary gym. No, the bad one, with the badminton in it. Okay. I'll see you later, Shelley. I'll be watching your grades.
Julia (as Craft): Yay. Cool.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Ugh, God. I can't handle this.
Eric: And she reaches down to the sword that has been reconstructed on the ground. She takes both hands and she, like, overhand slices. And you see it sliced through something, something there that dissipates in like a— and you no longer feel weird about leaving.
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): This Broadsword cuts through everything, even awkward silences.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: And then, just like helicopter, helicopter, helicopter.
Julia: Craft leaves. Fuck that.
[theme]