K-RASH! Our super seniors’ project is almost due, so they gotta find a villain immediately to interview. Who lives nearby, has a lot of issues to work out, and is probably home even though they live in a dump?
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
The only way you can listen to an exclusive oneshot is if you grab the limited-edition JTP VINYL now!!
Sponsors
- United by Blue, creators of sustainable apparel and outdoor gear. Use code jointheparty for 20% off at https://unitedbyblue.com
- Shaker & Spoon, where you can $20 off your first box at shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty
Find Us Online
- website: https://jointhepartypod.com
- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod
- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod
- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod
- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com
- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod
- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merch
Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: Oh, boy. Connor stayed after school to talk to Dr. Ram, and eavesdropped on a conversation between the teacher and Rick Powers, who mentioned something about the cloud cousins and the school security being down. Rowan had a guidance counselor appointment with Miss Rita, who encouraged her to act to defend her people and praised how she protected Samantha. Remember, the middle schooler who turned into the Jaguar warrior? Voidie-Lynn had similar advice for Rowan, "Just let loose and do whatever." At the end, when Rowan left, misery aflush the unmistakable colors of fear. Craft snuck into the supply closet where they keep all the evidence that they take from villains, and picked up an EMP, but just in the nick of time before she was caught. She was called to the auxiliary gym, where her guardian, Emily Slaughter, had to have a heart-to-heart. Emily Slaughter brought Broadsword, a medieval king villain who knew Craft's father, to question for her project. Craft refused, and Emily promised to back off if Craft could crack the top 25 ranking by the end of senior year. If not, bad news for Craft. Let's just do this freaking project before our parents do it for us, okay? Let's get the party started.
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric: Interview with a Villain, issue four. The cover is Craft, Connor, and Rowan at a computer lab. Somehow it is 2000's era Mac computers, so they're the big, shaped ones with the colors, but we can't see—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —because it's dark in there. It is three in the morning and all of you are cramming to finish your projects. Tell me, what snacks do each of you have next to— piled high around your school-issued keyboard and 2000s Macintosh?
Julia (as Shelley Craft): Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Sour Patch Kids.
Brandon: Of course.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: At the same time?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, for sure.
Brandon: Yeah. Disgusting.
Julia: Poured on top of them.
Eric: Does Craft have, like, used chopsticks for that?
Julia: Oh, hell no.
Eric: Okay, cool.
Julia: Absolutely not.
Amanda: Full hand.
Eric: Does Craft have a glove that is also a claw that she only uses for snacks?
Julia: Absolutely not. It is just rawdogging in it.
Amanda: I think Rowan could float up individual Cheetos if you get too high to manipulate those.
Julia: That's true.
Brandon: Oh, that's fun.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Craft gets so high that you just, like, lay down the bed and then fly Cheetos in your mouth?
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: That's great.
Amanda: Yep.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda: Helps me practice my fine motor skills and my powers.
Julia: There you go.
Amanda: Rowan's got fruit leather, many flavors, but otherwise, none of these people would eat a vegetable or a fruit. So she sneaks carrot in there sometimes with the mango.
Brandon: And Connor definitely has, like, a big, old— like the family-sized bag of Pirate Booty, which I don't know if existed back then, but it does now. A Pirate Booty, the white cheddar flavor, and he's eating it, but he's crying into his bag because he's looking at the Mac computer, and he's saying, like— in his brain, he's like—
Brandon (as Connor Lyons): Transparent, transparent, transparent, transparent. We're the same.
Eric: Yeah, there's a lung inside of the Macintosh.
Brandon (as Connor): I'm also a machine, man.
Julia: It's taking everything in my power to not talk about the Pirate Booty guy trying to take over his Long Island town.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Just— we can't.
Amanda: I know.
Julia: We can't.
Amanda: I know. We can't afford it.
Brandon: So Connor's then eating a knockoff brand called, like—
Julia: Captain's Butts.
Eric: Buccaneer Yums.
Brandon: Buccaneer Yums.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I— Brandon, no. The school runs on 2000s era Macintoshes. It is still 2020X.
Brandon: Okay, cool. Got it.
Eric: That is just what they have in the computer lab. It's also funny to think that you are all in the computer lab.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: I was just thinking, like, do schools have computer labs now? Because that's incredible.
Brandon: I doubt it.
Julia: No. I think they just hand out Chromebooks to children. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, Chromebook carts.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Wow. Everything's different now. The reason why you're all cramming is because this is the last issue of this arc, which means you need to submit your Interview With a Villain projects. It is coming down to the wire. You only have, like, a day or two before the senior seminar meets again, and you— I don't think— unless you all did stuff in between issues, I don't think you've worked on your project yet.
Brandon: Is it an inappropriate use of an X-Card to say X-Card on school anxiety?
Julia: I think we shouldn't have picked Masks if that was the case.
Eric: Yeah, Brandon, I— this is literally a mechanic. You can't X-Card. That's me, like, actually, I don't like that I rolled a D20.
Brandon: X-Card.
Eric: Can we put a veil on overall rolling, please?
Brandon: I didn't try that. I should have tried that.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Yeah, Brandon, a little late now.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan Miriam Rosen): So I think if I tried hard enough, I could probably slow down time.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: Oh!
Amanda (as Rowan): Like I've tried to do it in small ways by making me go fast, or the air going kind of more slow. And I don't think I'm strong enough yet, and probably, if I tried, then maybe there would be, like, a black hole or something. I don't want to do that, but I think, maybe, I could make it 301 for, like, 70 seconds.
Brandon (as Connor): Well, we know that time does slow down the closer you get to the black— the center of the black hole.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): So if you just position the black hole close enough, but, like, not too close where it's just, like, let's dilate time by, like, a couple hours or like a day or two.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): That could work.
Julia (as Craft): What if we just went to the dump?
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Julia: Star wipe at the dump, 3AM.
Eric: Star wipe at the dump.
Brandon: You think there's less conflict in the school because you can get all your aggression— your teenage aggression out as a super hero beating up villains?
Julia: No, I think it escalates it.
Eric: Yeah, we cut to last year where Joltin' Jo throws her glove at Hoover Moover's face.
Eric (as Joltin' Jo): I looked at your phone. I got your phone. We both have electricity powers. You can't lock it. You can't lock it. You can't lock it.
Eric: [explosion] Lights just exploding.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Incredible. All right, yeah. Y'all going to the dump.
Amanda: Oh, we're going.
Julia: We're just going.
Brandon: Let's go to the dump.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: We leave campus and we go to the dump.
Eric: Incredible. If you're just going, it must be, like, 3 PM, right?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Right after school, you're heading down there, the Jupiter Dump. If you were taking it public transit sort of way, it's a bus to a bus, to a walk that's next to the highway. And it is, like, almost mandatory that a car is going by you at 80 miles per hour while you're walking.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Like, you could cross through, you know, back houses and stuff. But if you're gonna do with the old-fashioned way, that's— if you're gonna do with the Google Maps way, you're gonna have to walk next to a bunch of cars on the highway.
Brandon: But it's nice because whenever we get tired of walking, Rowan can just, like, float us for a little bit.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, but then I get tired and someone has to carry me.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Hmm.
Brandon (as Connor): Well, I can carry you and then it's like a, you know—
Julia (as Craft): You're so light and we're so big.
Brandon (as Connor): Is it more power, like more effort, to, like, raise me than, like, Craft, you know?
Amanda (as Rowan): Well, it's about mass, and I think it'd be kind of rude to talk about your relative masses to each other without you both wanting to know—
Brandon (as Connor): That's fair.
Amanda (as Rowan): —your relative masses.
Brandon (as Connor): That's fair. That's fair.
Julia (as Craft): What's our relative mass?
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor is more.
Julia (as Craft): That feels right.
Brandon: And he flexes.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric: You come up to the dump, there is a woman in her late 30s, but you guys don't know, so she could be like 25 or 45 honest— or 65 honestly.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: There is an adult woman in a dump uniform, like, I think, just green, gray coveralls that says "Jupiter Sanitation Department" on it. She's hanging out in a security booth in the front of the dump. There's, like, a little— just, like, one gesture of, "Hey, don't do that," from—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —her little gate in front. And she's like—
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Yeah. How can I help you?
Brandon: Eric, can I pitch you real quick that Jupiter's civil service uniforms are, like, super futuristic style? Like, 1950s space futuristic style?
Eric: Oh, okay. Yeah, well, tell me about that.
Brandon: Like, did you see in Toy Story, Pizza Planet? Like that vibe?
Eric: Oh, sure. I think it's really funny that she has, like, sanitation department coveralls, but they're, like, bright purple with swirls all over them.
Brandon: Exactly. Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, no, that's cool. I guess it has to be like a rusty red— I mean, it has to be like Jupiter, right? So it's a rusty red sort of color, but with lots of, like, white swirls in it. And there's, like, a big red dot where it says, "Jupiter Sanitation Department."
Brandon: And then there's like—
Julia: That's really cool.
Brandon: —little silver— like sparkly, silver winglets on the shoulder or something.
Eric: Oh, yeah. Like, a little— like, barely epaulets.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah.
Eric: No, I love that. And she, like, looks so tired.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And is on her phone, playing Candy Crush. She's on level 5012 and she sees you coming up, barely looks up and says—
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Yeah, can I help you, kids?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, we accidentally threw something out, and we wanted to look for it here at the dump where things get thrown out.
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Oh, sure. What'd you throw out? We— I can— you know, we sort them. If it's cool enough, we take photos of it.
Brandon (as Connor): My wallet, with my ID in it.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): It's not that cool.
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Oh.
Brandon (as Connor): But I need my ID, you know?
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): How'd you lose your wallet? Can't you see it all the time?
Brandon (as Connor): What?
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Like—
Amanda (as Rowan): His pants are still pants.
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): —is it in your— it's in your skin pocket? You put it in— how'd you lose it from your skin pocket?
Julia (as Craft): No, it was in his pocket.
Amanda (as Rowan): No, he wears pants.
Brandon (as Connor): It's just a wallet. It was on my dresser, and then I swept my dresser full of trash and put in the— what are—
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): I work at the dump.
Brandon (as Connor): What?
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): And this is gross. Okay.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric: Slam. Hits a button and this tiny gate opens.
Julia (as Craft): Fair enough.
Amanda (as Rowan): I was about to say I'm on my period, so you can always just say that if an adult doesn't know something and you can just—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): —be like, "Ah." And then they'll let you do it.
Brandon (as Connor): Wait, does that work for me, too?
Eric (as Sanitation Worker): Girl, aren't we all? Go on in.
Amanda (as Rowan): So Craft, what do you know about this guy, about this person?
Julia (as Craft): I know he— or— I don't know what the whole vibe is, but lives at the dump, hates the school, builds okay tech.
Amanda: Rowan can try something.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: If you guys would just shield her from view, from the main security guard.
Julia: Let's just go around the corner of the dump.
Amanda: Let's go around the corner, yeah.
Julia: So they can't see us.
Amanda: I'm picturing, like, huge piles of different kinds of scrap metals. That's not how most dumps are, but that is what I'm picturing. And so, we'll go around the corner of, like, multiple junked up cars, and then Rowan will put her hands down, like hovering above the dirt, and try to feel any cavities that exist among the ground—
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: —or these piles of junk. Are there any big spaces and absences where there is less gravity and less gravitational pull? Because they are empty.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: That's fun. I like that.
Eric: That's neat.
Julia: That is dope.
Eric: Yeah, do you— have you done this at, like, a large scale for a person before? Or is this just like, "Hey, where are my keys?"
Amanda: I don't think I've done it at large scale for a person, except maybe checking for, like, fissures, for where the ground's unstable. I think after the whole incident with the dorms and that whole bedrock schism situation, that made me pretty nervous about enacting my powers in a place where the ground isn't super solid. So I've been getting there, but I haven't done it looking for someone specifically.
Julia: I bet, though, Amanda, we probably had to take classes that were, like, natural disaster rescue mission classes.
Amanda: For sure.
Julia: And I bet maybe you've at least tried it on that level.
Amanda: Yeah. I think I'm starting to apply it and starting to figure it out.
Eric: I'm imagining this, and the teacher is just like an environmental engineer who works in Lake Town City, who got, like, trained in, and is way too intense. So it was like—
Eric (as environmental engineer): There's an earthquake happening. What do you do? You have five seconds. Five, four, three, you're all dead. Actually, you're all dead. You only had three seconds. Turns out, you counted wrong."
Julia: Damn.
Eric (as environmental engineer): You didn't invest enough in science. You're dead.
Julia: Oof.
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: I like him.
Amanda: Good NPC.
Eric: Sorry, I got distracted by doing this scene. I forgot. No, I think that this looks like— you know how Daredevil's powers are rendered in the Daredevil TV show?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Where it's like you see the vibrations.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Or even in the movie, when you saw Jennifer Garner with the rain. I think it's almost like it goes all black, and then like little white reverberations go out, and we start to see the topography. Like, from underneath—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —of what the dump looks like.
Brandon: I also like the idea that when it— in your brain or in your mind, when it goes black, like reality sort of bends and shifts around the different masses.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: So it's like— not only you're getting, like, vibration lines, but like it's distorted and, like, flexed around the different masses.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. And I think as she does that, Rowan hears over her shoulder, in a sort of glint off in the back of the scrap pile—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): See, now, doesn't that feel good? And because it's a baddie, you could just collapse that stack right on him. Take care of the problem right away.
Brandon (as Connor): Now, Rowan, be really careful not to collapse the stack down right on him.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): We do have to ask questions.
Amanda: And everyone's just like pouring sweat down her temples.
Eric: This is a wonderful time to unleash your powers.
Amanda: Yay!
Eric: I think if there's a lot of— you really got to thread the needle here. I think you have to unleash your powers.
Amanda: All right, let's do it. My freak is plus one right now.
Brandon (as Connor): You can do it, Rowan. You got this.
Amanda: Six plus one for a seven.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: I was gonna say, can we get you to the top? We can't.
Amanda: Not this time around.
Eric: It is so— you all keep rolling exactly—
Julia (as Craft): We know.
Eric: —the numbers that where team cannot help you.
Amanda: I know.
Eric: Which is so crazy. On a hit, you do it which you— so you're gonna be able to do that, but you either mark a condition or I'll tell you how the effect is unstable or temporary.
Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and mark insecure, because I think Rowan is worried that she's doing something Voidie-Lynn is excited about.
Eric: Hmm. Ooh. Oh, this is so interesting about— you're looking for, like, absences. So I think that if you take a right path—
Brandon: Looking for voids, Eric?
Eric: You're looking for voids.
Julia: Voidie-Lynn, baby.
Eric: I think you can take a right at Compost Junction.
Amanda: That sounds great.
Julia: Are there little signs around the junkyard?
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: Oh, you know there is, Julia.
Brandon: The king of Compost Junction is a little— is like big, old red wiggler worm.
Amanda: Big worm.
Eric: Yeah, you can't really interview the big worm.
Brandon: He's not a villain.
Eric: And you can take a left at E. Waste Acres. Around in that area, there is a cavern that is covered up by a bunch of old laptops—
Julia: Cool.
Eric: —and Xbox 360s—
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: —that you could move away. And it turn— and if you move that away, there is a cavern down there, which seems pretty big and pretty empty.
Amanda: Rowan's got some, like, perspiration on her hairline, her blazer is, like, a little bit scrunched, and she's like—
Amanda (as Rowan): It's under all the laptops. Do you want me to, like, make a path?
Brandon (as Connor): If you can do it safely, but if not, I can always dig it out.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): So, you know, whatever you're feeling.
Julia (as Craft): Connor and I could probably handle it, you know?
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, you got this.
Amanda: Rowan's just gonna shift, probably— I think she probably shifts it most of the way, but not totally uncovering the pile, but almost, like, the pile slumps sort of backward away from the entrance to the cavern, and she points the way.
Eric: As the cavern opens, you hear [barks].
Julia: A seal.
Eric: Well, Julia, it's funny you say that because jumping out of the hole that Rowan made are these, like, three feet tall, little T-rexes that are made out of scrap metal. And with the way that their voice boxes are warped in garbage, their barks and growls sound like seals. So it's like little— these, like, little technological T-rexes, they remind me of, like— you remember those robot dogs—
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —that you got at the sharper image in, like, 2012?
Julia: The iDog or whatever, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, but, like, they're rusted and look like garbage, and they've been remade to look like little T-rexes, big head—
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: —big teeth, like little bodies, little arms, but big feet. And they start running out, and they go [barks] and start jumping and snapping and trying to bite at all of you.
Brandon (as Connor): They're so cute.
Julia (as Craft): I got this one.
Amanda (as Rowan): I want one.
Brandon (as Connor): They're so— wait, wait, wait.
Amanda (as Rowan): I want one.
Brandon (as Connor): I want one.
Amanda: Rowan and Connor are clinging to each other.
Amanda (as Rowan): I want one.
Julia (as Craft): We can have their bodies when I'm done with them.
Julia: And then Craft's just gonna lightning bolt them.
Eric: "Bzzz." They're all gone. They're just gone.
Julia (as Craft): Ah, fuck.
Brandon (as Connor): Goddamn it.
Amanda: Rowan falls to her knees.
Amanda (as Rowan): Life is so capricious.
Julia (as Craft): Sorry, I—
Brandon (as Connor): No, it's fine.
Julia (as Craft): —panicked a little bit.
Brandon (as Connor): No, you didn't panic. It was right. It was a good thing.
Amanda (as Rowan): I think I just need a lizard or something. It's okay.
Brandon: A lizard?
Eric: Connor, there's one near you that is, like, twitching and sparking, and it looks up at you, going [barks]
Brandon: Connor picks him up, cradles him in his arms, and he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): It's okay, boy. You'll go to the big Jurassic Park in the sky.
Eric: Just bites you right on the face.
Brandon (as Connor): Ow! Shit!
Julia (as Craft): See, this is why— I know they're cute, but they also do big bites.
Amanda (as Rowan): No, you're right.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. But so do dogs who aren't trained well, you know?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Okay.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Hey.
Eric: Coming from the— inside of the little T-rex, you hear—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Hey.
Eric: And it's all garbled because—
Brandon (as Connor): Ah!
Eric: —the voice box has even been electrocuted now.
Brandon: Connor drops it.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Hey, is there something wrong with my cameras or do you actually look like that?
Julia (as Craft): Who are you talking to in this one?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The wiggly one.
Julia (as Craft): Huh?
Brandon (as Connor): I'm not wiggly. I have regular skin. It just the light looks wiggly, because it's all go— it's like— have you ever heard of gravitational lensing? It's like that.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I have heard of gravitational lensing. Have you heard of the fact that all of your friends and everyone at school probably thinks that you're weird?
Amanda (as Rowan): Have you heard of the fact that I can make gravitational lens look like a fucking picnic?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, have you heard of the fact that you're definitely using words to overcome your obvious insecurities because you're a teenager?
Amanda (as Rowan): Let's see.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, I have heard of that one.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. Distracting. Let's go.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): No, don't go in there!
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, let's definitely go in there.
Brandon (as Connor): Look, we're gonna come in but it's fine. No one's gonna hurt you. We just want to talk, if that's okay. We're just here because we have an assignment that we want your help with, if that's okay.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, yeah, students from Water's Edge Academy coming in here, saying they're not gonna go— saying they're not gonna hurt me. Yeah, I haven't heard that before.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. Well, we're slowly creeping in. My hands are gonna be up. I'm gonna be in front here. Just don't do anything rash, please.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Fine. Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna do anything rash. I'm gonna think this through, because my whole front of my brain is fully developed, and yours isn't.
Julia (as Craft): See, like normally, I would say—
Julia: And this is Craft as they're approaching the whole— to Rowan and Connor.
Julia (as Craft): See, like normally, I would say, like, you don't want to let a villain monolog at you, because, one, it's usually just a distraction.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): But two, in this case, we do kind of want them to monolog at us because—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): —yeah, that's the assignment.
Brandon (as Connor): It's a good distraction, really.
Julia (as Craft): It's really confusing.
Amanda (as Rowan): You're right. You're right.
Brandon: Can I assess the situation?
Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
Brandon: Because I'm out in front here.
Eric: Yeah, you can assess the situation. I think I'll tell you as much as I can from you walking into the cavern.
Brandon: [dice roll] So plus superior—
Eric: Yep.
Brandon: —I got a five plus zero, so nothing.
Julia: We can get you to a seven.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah, if you want to.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Totally.
Julia: I think in assessing the situation, Craft has been telling the group, kind of, all of the information. One that she has on Obstructer Constructor, and two, just like general villain shenanigans—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: —that they should expect, kind of, going into the situation.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Tell me some villain shenanigans.
Julia: Well, I did just say—
Julia (as Craft): Usually, a monolog is, like, a way to distract you, so you don't take some actions. They just kind of want to do their own thing—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —while they're monologuing at you. Like, usually, they're, like, getting into the escape pod—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —while they're monologuing at you through a microphone, you know?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, who's to say I don't have an escape pod right here? Ha! Logical fallacy, logical leap.
Julia (as Craft): Well, I mean, the fact that they're telling us that they have an escape pod probably means there isn't an escape pod, but they want us to think there's one.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, and Craft, it's like you said, where the— there's going to be, like an easy first line of defense and then that— and then they make you think that that's the whole defense, but it— it's actually not.
Julia (as Craft): Right. It's a booby trap situation, for sure.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric: And Rowan, how are you helping?
Amanda: I think Rowan is making the air in the tunnel slightly denser, so that the lamps or lights or whatever is providing illumination can be a little bit brighter, because I know Connor has an advantage in seeing in the dark, but I want to make sure that Craft and I can as well.
Eric: Ooh, I like that. Yeah. I bet there's some oil lamps in there.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Totally.
Julia: Oil lamps?
Eric: Yeah. Cool, oil lamps.
Julia: Is he a minor?
Eric: Yeah, in the dump cavern, Julia. There's cool oil lamps. Okay, let me tell you how that all worked. Connor wanted to do something. Brandon rolled a five. Both Craft and Rowan helped, because we have a bunch of points in the team pool. This is our first time doing it. So we have—
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Woo.
Eric: —four points in the team pool. I'm subtracting two points because they're being helpful, that is five plus two is a seven, which is a mixed success.
Brandon: Whoa.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Whoa.
Julia: Good job.
Brandon: So now, we have two points left in the team pool.
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: Yurr.
Eric: Assessing the situation, now you get to ask one question on our assess the situation list.
Brandon: Should we ask— hey, team, should we ask, what here can I use to, like, hold him or should we ask, like, how can we best end this quickly? Or, like, what's the greatest danger— what do y'all think?
Amanda: I think you should ask, what here can we use to win the assignment?
Julia: What here can we use to persuade this guy to talk to us?
Eric: Yes, that would work.
Brandon: Yeah, that's great. I like that.
Eric: Cool.
Brandon: What here can I use to persuade this villain to have a chat with us?
Eric: Got it. So, Obstructer Constructor continues chattering through the sparking T-Rex that is in your hands, right? And is saying all types of stuff to try to get you to leave.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What, you're here just for a grade? You're just here for a project? I am a person. I am not a grade. I'm not someone who can be won. I'm not— I run something that's going to get you went to Princeton or Morrow University, or the Secret CIA, which is even more secret than the regular CIA.
Eric: Obstructer Constructor wants to talk.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric: So—
Julia: We'd love to hear that.
Eric: —if you wanted to, and you got him into situations, you might not need to, like, cocoon him, hold him down and waterboard him and interrogate him. He might just talk to you. If you want to take opportunities to pierce the mask or provoke him, I'm sure you could.
Julia: I think Craft is gonna lean over to Rowan, too, and be like—
Julia (as Craft): Can you start, like, recording a voice memo on your phone?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, do that.
Amanda: Rowan taps her breast pocket and she is sick.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. You know, really, we just— okay. You caught us. Our assignment is sort of just a pretense. We're sort of interested in being villains and, like, we kind of have a bone to pick about the school. So, like, we would love to just, like, pick your brain and—
Brandon: And Connor shakes his head.
Brandon (as Connor): Pick your brain about, like, you know, your thought process, like, how you work. You know, we're sort of just, like, learning from all sides here.
Amanda (as Rowan): And maybe, like, you could give me some advice about my power, specifically, because one of the things that I could do is, like, make stuff stick together, what, with the gravity. And I want to be able to do it in a way that's as cool as your T-Rexes.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): My dad's, like, literally a villain, so—
Eric: As you— you're walking in through the caverns with the oil lamps, and the oil lamps stop, and in front of you is a large, dark chasm. As the three of you are making your way through, then you hear the burst of electrical lights coming on all the same time. And you're kind of inside of a geodesic dome that's been carved in two. Like, you see that there is trash just, like, melted together above you, and it's been crafted into this coliseum dome situation with these minor lights just everywhere. You know the ones that are, like, all strung together with the little cages around them?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah. Like construction lights.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like the bottom part of this dome is dirt, like, you know, the actual dirt of the Earth that is underneath every single dump, right? But the majority of it is, like, smushed and plastered together trash of all different shapes, sizes, materials and whatnot. And carved into that, up top, looking down on you from his rubbish throne is Obstructer Constructor. You know, he probably does wear a trash crown, doesn't he? I'm sure he does.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: I would.
Eric: He does.
Brandon: I would.
Eric: But it's like— you know the way that, like, you look at, like, some history books or even fantasy novels and, like, the crown is so ornate. There's so many like, little bobbles, and it almost looks like a helmet, because it starts out as the crown shape, but then there's, like, bobbles and ties and connecting pieces with everything, and it's all just scrap metal. Like, these rusted scrap metal that surrounds—
Julia: Nuts and bolts and whatnot.
Eric: Yeah, surrounding him. And he's also holding this very large staff that goes all the way down to the ground, and it's made out of, like, mushed together— like, you can see the can labels of the outside, just running up and down the staff.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: He, again, is another haggard-looking adult, ratty brown hair. He's also wearing a Jupiter Sanitation Department jumpsuit, but he has augmented it so he looks like he's also like a medieval king at the same time with, like— almost like big armor— decorative armor pieces.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Like, the one you put on the King of Norway when he goes out on a hunt.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Sure.
Eric: And it's all just made out of, like, nasty mushed together metal.
Julia (as Craft): Not gonna lie, pretty cool layer. Pretty cool layer.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Thanks. I made it myself.
Julia (as Craft): I can tell, it's very impressive.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): If any of you were so busy being the new— you're— all of you are so busy being the new generation disrupting, that you could build something yourself, like I did. I don't believe your pretense. I think you just want a grade. You think you're the first students to come in here saying things, offering me things. "Oh, I'm a villain. Ooh, I'm thinking about being a villain. Oh, the trash man is so interesting and cool." I don't believe you.
Julia (as Craft): Well, first off, I would never call you the trash man, Your Highness.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, you're— that's not your name.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thy Obstructer.
Brandon (as Connor): We're not here to flatter you. Like, we're just here as, like, peers. We just want to talk, chat. We hear your side stuff. Like, we're not gonna— we're not here to, like, blow smoke up your bottom, your throne.
Amanda (as Rowan): Staff.
Brandon (as Connor): You know what I'm saying?
Eric: I think Obstructer Constructor gestures towards Connor with his incredibly large trash staff, and is like—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): All right, New York Times boy, ask me a question. If this is an interview, interview me.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What do you want to know from Obstructer Constructor?
Brandon (as Connor): What— how did you become who you are? Like, how—what was your journey to get here to the trash throne?
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon (as Connor): Or what do you call your throne?
Eric: What a plaintiff little boy. What a plaintiff sweet boy you are, Connor.
Julia: What a sweet, earnest boy.
Eric: Truly, you're so earnest. Yeah, I'll give you that. Pierce the mask, my friend.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: And Brandon, you get plus one to this.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. So remember, so when you pierce the mask, you are going to try to see the person underneath. You're gonna roll plus mundane. You also get plus one because you asked your relevant teacher a question on how to do your project correctly, so you get plus one to that.
Brandon: Well, that's good because my mundane is a minus one, so it's just neutral now.
Amanda: Okay, okay.
Julia: All right. Give me that Brandon d6 roll.
Brandon: I'm going to roll January and Chad, so we'll see what they say. [dice roll] They say a five.
Julia: Hmm, hmm. Interesting.
Eric: They say a five. You still have two team points.
Brandon: Would you all like to help?
Julia: Oh, yes, sorry. I'm— my brain was like, "Well, we can't— we simply can't do anything about a five."
Eric: You could do it again if you wanted to. You'd be out of team points.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: What happens if you fail?
Brandon: Oh, there's some consequence that you get to make up there.
Eric: Yeah, there's always consequences. If you fail, you get— then things happen.
Amanda: Yeah. I mean, we might as well.
Julia: Yeah, we'll help.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I think Craft is going to be like—
Julia (as Craft): I mean, a throne as beautiful as that and, like, I've never seen anything like that before. It has to have a cool name, right? Like, we've all watched Game of Thrones.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, that old show? I haven't heard of it, but I do know that that crown has a lot of copper on that, that's a really good street value must be. Must be worth a lot of money.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, you know your metals, and you're flattering—
Julia: Wow, you know your metals.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): And you're flattering me, but I'll take it for now.
Eric: Wonderful. I went— onto the question and, Connor, you have fulfilled the assignment. You can get a 10 plus on your project roll as Obstructer Constructor sits in the throne and says—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The throne is called Another Man's Treasure.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, that's actually really good.
Julia (as Craft): That's beautiful.
Brandon (as Connor): I like that.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Thank you. It's— I'm sure you kids with your online dictionaries and T9 texting and autocorrect, don't know where that's from, but it's the— it is the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." That's the— that's what it's related to.
Julia (as Craft): Whoa. That just, like, blew my mind.
Amanda (as Rowan): It's kind of like a poem when you think about it.
Julia (as Craft): Whoa.
Brandon: Connor sort of, like, looks back to his teammates and is like—
Brandon (as Connor): What the fuck is T9?
Amanda (as Rowan): Is it like a rude phrase for an ethnic group? I don't like to repeat things until I'm sure it's not a rude phrase for an ethnic group.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): All right. You Edgers three.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't like that.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): It's a nickname that I have for the students who come here and ruin my day. I was just about to solder some things to other things.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, I'm sorry, that's not fun.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, that sounds fun.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, you like soldering?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, I do.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What's your favorite way to attach one metal to another?
Brandon (as Connor): I like silver solder, personally. It's like— it's difficult to solder because you have to get a lot of heat, but, like, it's a much stronger bond when you get it on there, you know?
Eric: I'll give you a little present for that. That's good. Obstructer Constructor says—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Well, here's my favorite way of soldering.
Eric: And he raises the staff and gestures at, like, two water pipes that are sticking out of the top of the geodesic dome. And he pulls it down with, like, a sickly green energy and sticks them together.
Amanda (as Rowan): Whoa.
Brandon (as Connor): Whoa, that's tight as fuck.
Julia (as Craft): I didn't realize you could do, like, magic.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Yeah— no, it's not magic. It's technomancy. What? What are you going to say? What? Say it. Say it. Tell me you know better than me, say it.
Julia (as Craft): That's— that sounds like one of the coolest powers I've ever heard of. It's just— sorry, it, like, totally blew my mind.
Brandon (as Connor): Craft is very high right now as well, so, like, you know—
Julia (as Craft): Would you like some weed?
Amanda (as Rowan): Did they have marijuana when you were our age?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I did, but my body is a temple. I would never.
Julia (as Craft): Fair enough.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I don't really like it, either. I kind of have a tenuous grasp on all of this.
Eric: Also, I want to say from before that, you used two points—
Julia: We out.
Eric: —to have zero in the team pool.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: As of now.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: I think Craft's gonna go next.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: And Craft is gonna be like—
Julia (as Craft): Well, like, part of the reason we sought you out is because we came face-to-face with one of your creations at the school.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh. Oh, you saw— you see with a havoc that I wreak upon your peaceful Elysium. Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. And, you know—
Brandon (as Connor): We fought him.
Julia (as Craft): —we fought it. And it was like one of the most difficult things we've ever had to fight before.
Amanda (as Rowan): I didn't do a good job. I did a really bad job. I was knocked out for, like, most of it. It was terrible.
Julia (as Craft): And we were just, like, so impressed by the prestige and the power that we really wanted to, like, get to know the person behind it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, we did beat it, but, like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Eventually.
Julia (as Craft): But it was really hard.
Brandon (as Connor): It was a fight, you know?
Amanda (as Rowan): The fountain is never gonna be the same.
Brandon (as Connor): That's kind of my fault, though, but yeah.
Eric: Craft, I think you're provoking the thing, but in a positive way. Remember, provoke means—
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: —anything. Trying to get them—
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: You are doing something through speech to get them to do something. And I think the thing you're trying to do is have them believe that ART-AI was really hard to deal with.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: In which we'll allow him to open up, because I can see one of the things you might get is they error. You gain a critical opportunity to pierce the mask.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: That's what I— how I'm feeling mechanically, for the vibes you're doing here.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Mechanically.
Julia: Mechanically. I am going to roll and add plus superior, which for me, is a zero.
Eric: All right, let's see how it goes.
Julia: [dice roll] That is a six plus one for a seven.
Amanda: Oh!
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Oh, baby.
Julia: You're close. You're close.
Eric: So close. All right.
Julia: All right. That means I get to pick one, and I am going to pick the gaining a critical opportunity.
Eric: Yeah, I'll give it to you, for sure.
Julia: Oh, thanks, Eric.
Eric: Yeah, I think they error. They gain a critical opportunity. You— not you flattered him and then you said, "You sucked." It's like—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Well, the thing that you don't understand is that ART-AI wasn't created to create— to hurt— wasn't create to do damage, unless you're talking about—
Brandon (as Connor): Damage to copyright.
Julia (as Craft): Property damage.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The damage to the school. Yes, I was going to say damage to the school.
Julia (as Craft): There was a lot of property damage that happened.
Brandon (as Connor): The grass will never be the same.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-uh.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, well, wait, wait, what happened?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, well, it—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): My— obviously, my— the feat— obviously, the feeds I had baked into ART-AI was focused on something else. I didn't see the full extent of the damage to the school.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, what was it focused on?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Uh-uh-uh. Granddaughter of Frankenstein, you're not going to get me.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, no, my dad's Dr. Prometheus. I don't think I have a grandpa Frankenstein.
Eric: Pierce the mask.
Julia: Cool. [dice roll] Six plus two.
Eric: Ooh, there we go. That's an eight.
Julia: Here we go. Here we go, baby.
Eric: Bang. All right. Is that the question you want to ask?
Julia: I think so.
Eric: It's like, where was the camera? What was it looking at?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Yeah. Like—
Julia (as Craft): I know you sent it for property damage purposes, but like, you know, what was it really sent for? What were your feeds focused on?
Eric: All right, Bang. Craft can get a 10 plus on your project at the end of the session.
Amanda: Look whose ranking's gonna go up.
Brandon: Hey.
Julia: Look who's trying.
Eric: Yeah, look who's trying.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Dr. Prometheus? Oh, he's making flesh minions now, interesting. I don't dabble— I don't usually dabble in those sorts of things. I'm more of a, you know, metal minion kind of guy, but interesting.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. I don't know if flesh minion is the correct term for child, biological child, but sure. Whatever.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): His child. The child of the great Dr. Prometheus. Well, what I was looking at, little Prometheus, I was looking at all of the ways I could ruin the school in the future. And boy, there are so many security flaws that only a intentionally moved— an intentionally moved screwdriver would be able to get in between the cracks and just pop it open.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, you're right. There is a lot of lack security at the school.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh. Oh, you think it, too? Oh, you think it, too. Tell me, how do you think this, little Prometheus?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, I, you know, broke into some places I'm not supposed to break into.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, when did you break in? Where and when? Tell me everything.
Julia (as Craft): When? Recently.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): Where? A supply closet.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The apple doesn't fall far from the evil tree.
Julia: Craft leans over to Rowan.
Julia (as Craft): Can you make sure you delete that before we submit?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Oops. Uh-oh.
Amanda: And she, like, hits her breast pocket a few times.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, you're recording this?
Amanda (as Rowan): Well, I have to transcribe the notes from all the good wisdoms you had. Don't worry, I won't share the actual recording, just the quotes.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I know, the powers of modern technologies. I control what happens here in the trash dome.
Amanda (as Rowan): Wait, wait, I need your help.
Julia (as Craft): Hmm?
Amanda (as Rowan): I need your help, please. Because I want to do what you do. And like gravity is whatever, but it is what is all around me. And I've been practicing something, and I really want to know, like, all the heroes and the teachers at school, they can tell me things, whatever. But I want to field test it. I want to get it ready. Would you give me feedback on my powers?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I can give you feedback right now.
Eric: He, like, circles the three of you with his incredibly long trash staff and the electronics in your pockets start to rise out of it. Rowan, your phone comes out of your pocket. Craft, the teleportation— I guess it would be both. Yeah, the teleportation disc and the EMP in, like, your fanny pack, start to up. And Connor, what tech do you have on you?
Brandon: You know, see, obviously, I have a phone, a cell phone, but, you know, he probably also has, like—
Eric: Did your aunt put, like—
Julia: Smartwatch?
Brandon: Fitness tracker.
Eric: Thank you. Yeah.
Amanda: Heart monitor.
Eric: Like, a really high tech fitness tracker on you that, like, sends biometric data back to her for you guys to study?
Brandon: Yes, I like that.
Eric: You like that?
Julia: Yes.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: She'd also know if Connor ever had sex.
Amanda: Oh, no. They wrote a script together so that such waves are just deleted.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Well, we cut to that situation where, in the future, Connor has sex and Anita Tigre sees it, and then we cut to Anita, and she's like, "Yes! Yes!"
Julia: "He did it."
Eric (as Anita Tigre): God, I was worried if he didn't do it for another six months, we were gonna have to do some sort of psych counseling, huh? Janice, don't tell him I said that. Delete that."
Amanda: She texts the group chat, "Fuck finally."
Brandon: And fucking finally.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: There you go.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. Welcome to the midroll, which is brought to you this week by sprigs of dried lavender tucked into clean sheets. It's the best deal. Thank you and welcome to our newest paying patron, Nora, who helped us get even closer to our goal. If just 11 more people join as paying patrons, we will play another One Shot from the character creation episodes that we played out in the One Shot Derby Two. Now, keep your eyes to the skies, because this Friday, this Friday, paying patrons will get the Brindlewood Bay One Shot. We are so excited. It is so much fun. I promise you are really going to enjoy it. So again, if you want to hear the outcome of the One Shot Derby, if you want to hear us play little, old ladies trying to solve a grisly murder, then you have to become a patron at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. Go for it, y'all. If you like Join the Party, I know you're going to love the other shows that are part of the Multitude Podcast collective, including Attach Your Resume, a show from Multitude with Season Two coming very soon, by the way, that interviews online creators about how their jobs work and how they got there. You'll hear the personal stories behind seismic events in digital media and learn what concrete steps we, as digital media creators, and you, as digital media landscape observers and audience members, can actually do to build sustainable media livings. So Season One is available to marathon now, and we are working hard on Season Two. It is almost ready to be out in the world. So subscribe to Attach Your Resume in your podcast app now. We are sponsored this week by Shaker & Spoon, one of my favorite fellow Brooklyn small businesses and a subscription cocktail service that helps you learn how to make handcrafted cocktails right at home. Every box they send you comes with an incredible array of, like, dried fruits, nuts, different, like, tinctures, different syrups, all kinds of stuff that you would typically find only in, like, the fanciest of cocktail bars, and all you do is buy one bottle of that month's spirit, because each box comes with a variety of different kinds of cocktails you can make with the same spirit. So if you are trying to learn, like, "Hey, rum, not a thing I ever drink before, what can you do with rum? What's up with that?" It is perfectly calibrated to use one bottle of liquor, meaning you don't have a bunch of leftovers. I'm looking at you green Chartreuse from several years ago. If you're not Julia, you're not going through green Chartreuse that often, and teaches you more home bartending skills. It's fun. It's a great gift. If you're traveling somewhere and you are bringing a host gift, or if you just want to, like, have a very cool and cost-effective way to enjoy craft cocktails at home. You can get one box. You can skip or cancel if you're on a monthly plan. They are super nice and super, super delicious. So invite friends over, class up your night caps, or be a great house guest with Shaker & Spoon. Get 20 bucks off your first box at shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. That's shakerandspoon.com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by United By Blue, a sustainable lifestyle brand prioritizing sustainable materials and ethical manufacturing to lead the charge toward better business practices. Their whole deal is that for every product purchased, they remove a pound of trash from the oceans and waterways. Hence, blue, the oceans. They unite us all. That's over 3.5 million pounds so far, which is absolutely incredible. They're also working hard to eliminate packaging, using plastic to clean up their own supply chains, because they want to eliminate single-use plastic overall. Their products feature things like non-toxic regenerative fibers that keep harmful pesticides out of the environment, to recycle fabrics that use existing refuse and trash and put it to good use. Their products are also so durable. They are really created to last, because the best way to be a conscious consumer is ultimately to consume less, you know? That's the— reduce is the first part of reduce, reuse, recycle. So if you are into something like a ceramic mug and candle, some very cool gardening gloves, a backpack made out of recycled nylon, any flavor of water bottle or coffee cup you could possibly need, they have at United By Blue. Seriously, go ahead and check out the website. It's really, really lovely. And I love shopping here for my eco conscious siblings, and we can always find something we like. So go to unitedbyblue.com and use code Join the Party to get 20% off your order. That's unitedbyblue.com and the code is Join the Party to get 20% off your order. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: I made a custom move for all of you. If Obstructer Constructor takes control of your electronics, roll plus superior.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: For all of us?
Eric: Yes, for all of you.
Amanda: [dice roll] it's a 10 for Rowan.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: Six. I'm gonna mark stuff.
Brandon: Nine.
Eric: Nine. Wonderful.
Brandon: Across the board.
Eric: Bang. All right. So that's a success for Rowan. That is a failure for Craft, so make sure to—
Julia: Potential for Craft.
Eric: —mark potential. And that is a mixed success for old Connor here. Let's do—
Brandon (as Umbi): Old Connor.
Julia: Old Connor.
Amanda: Umbi, you don't belong here.
Brandon (as Umbi): My skin is wrinkly, but you can't see it, so it doesn't matter.
Amanda: That's true.
Brandon (as Umbi): I age gracefully.
Amanda: You can see kind of different calcium deposits in the body, though.
Eric: Let's start with Connor. Connor, with a mixed success, either mark a condition or an opportunity opens up to kick you out of the cavern.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: Oh, no. Goddamn it. I still have three conditions.
Amanda: Ugh.
Julia: Didn't you get rid of one in the last episode?
Brandon: Okay. So I either have to mark a condition or potentially get kicked out, or definitely get kicked out.
Eric: Mark a condition or an opportunity opens up to turn you away.
Brandon: I simply don't think this squishy young boy can have any more conditions.
Eric: That's fine.
Julia: Leave him alone. We said he could never be hopeless, not until prom.
Eric: Connor, you then start getting dragged out of the front— of the cavern back into the hallway by— literally by your wrist. And you're not kicked out. You're just getting like dragged away.
Julia: Can Craft jump up and try to hit the EMP button?
Eric: Well, here's what happens, on a six or lower, the tables are fully turned and take a powerful blow.
Julia: Fair enough.
Eric: So I think that, Craft, you pull the EMP out of your bag and, like, Obstructer Constructor is like—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, I know what that is.
Eric: Squish. And it's just—
Julia: Fuck.
Eric: —like destroyed.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Eric: Destroyed.
Julia (as Craft): Fair enough.
Eric: And you get flung into the side of the geodesic trash dome, and please take a powerful blow.
Julia: Okay. So I need to roll plus conditions.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Rolling 2d6 and add the number of conditions you have.
Julia: I have no conditions right now, baby.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: [dice roll] Three. Fuck you.
Eric: Goddamn it.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: All right. Take me— the other potential, and I think you're— and you're just fine. You just tank it.
Brandon: Wait, do you take another potential on a--
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Oh, fuck. That's great.
Eric: Yeah, you take it—
Julia: Holy shit.
Amanda: Who says that?
Eric: Yeah, you take— you still get the potential as normal, and you describe how you weather the blow.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Julia: That's sick as fuck.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Cool. Yeah. I think Craft does get knocked back, but when her back hits the wall, she kind of, like, uses it to literally bounce back.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Maybe she, like, got knocked into, like, a desiccated trampoline in the walls there. And she goes—
Julia (as Craft): Huh! Huh! Huh!
Eric: Sick. I love that.
Julia (as Craft): Shit. Fuck.
Eric: And Rowan, with a 10, you wrench control back, and you immediately have an opportunity to use a move.
Julia: Pierce the veil. Pierce the veil. Get your question in.
Amanda: Yeah. No, I'm absolutely gonna pierce the mask.
Eric: Okay. So tell me how you do it. So your phone, that's recording everything, is rising out of your pocket. Connor's getting dragged away.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Craft gets thrown against the side of the geodesic dome, but tanks it and lands gracefully. Okay, how do you take control back?
Brandon: I love the idea that Rowan just yells like, "Who hurt you in your childhood?"
Amanda: Well, well—
Eric: Hey, let's set up a situation first.
Julia: Hey.
Amanda: I think Rowan doesn't break eye contact with this person, because one of the things that she can do is kind of, like, feel again the motion of different bodies around her. So she knows that while Connor is being dragged away, he's gonna be fine. And that Craft, she feels the momentum, you know, hit the side of the wall, and then Craft bounces back to her feet, so she doesn't have to be worried about her peers. And I think, a teenager with full tattoos, just confidently looking at you in the eyes as you try to surprise her and just standing there and being like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Amanda: —really rattles this man. She's also gonna grab control over the phone and just keep it suspended above them by a few feet, which actually has much better acoustics in the middle of this geodesic dome.
Eric: Wow.
Julia: There you go.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What? How are you resisting my technomancy powers?
Brandon (as Connor): I'm not, I'm not.
Eric: Just a small speech bubble coming in from the side of the panel. Obstructer Constructor uses his big staff to, like, pole vault down off of his throne, and just gets down—
Julia: Cool.
Eric: —and walks towards Rowan. Rowan, Obstructer Constructor is only an inch taller than you, once he gets down from his throne. And you are nearly eye— and you are nearly at eye level with him.
Amanda: Rowan, like, turns her weight to the outside of her feet to give her another sort of half inch of height there.
Julia: Straightens her spine just a little bit.
Brandon: Hey, you know you could do actually—
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: —is reduce the gravity on your spine, on your spinal cord, so when like—
Amanda: Like when you wake up, uh-hmm.
Brandon: Like, when you go to space and you get taller.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, that's cool. I like that.
Amanda: Yeah. No, she does that too, for sure.
Eric: That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, set up the situation and make your move.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): How did you resist my powers? My technomancy knows no bounds. I'm connected to the Earth. I am the magnesis that flows through Mother Gaia.
Amanda (as Rowan): Can I show you my thing now?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What thing?
Amanda: So Rowan, not breaking eye contact with Obstructer Constructor, sticks out one hand to the right, and you see bits of scraps start to come off the wall, off the floor, maybe a couple off the throne and a can on the end of the staff. And she's deliberately kind of, like, pulling them from things that she knows are gonna annoy him. Like, maybe on the top—
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: —on the front piece of the throne, there are some, like, motherboard chips, you know, some microchips and—
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: —like graphics processors, one that says Nvidia. She's like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Ooh.
Amanda: And she grabs them, and they all float toward her. And then as they come together, they start to form the shape of a sphere. And the sphere is hovering, and it's extending, and then little legs come out, and then little arms come out, and then a head pops out of the shoulder. And very soon, next to Rowan, a little bit misshapen and a little bit listing to the side, is a human-shaped construct made out of tech junk, sort of wobbling there under its own weight.
Brandon: "Kill me. Kill me.."
Amanda: And Rowan gestures at it and says—
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay. So is this good? Is this scary? Would you like to see this coming at you at— in like a dark alley at night?
Julia: Is this good for you?
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, sorry, I'm not done.
Amanda: And then she does one more thing, and with her left hand, the tattooed one, she touches the center of the being's forehead.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: And its eyes pop open. And out of the mouth, parting with two different—
Julia: Oh, my God.
Amanda: —motherboards, comes a voice saying—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Now, I could really fuck you up if I wanted to.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Why does it sound like that? You chose that voice? What is— that's not scary at all.
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): So now that you see me, are you going to respect me? Boop.
Brandon: Nice.
Amanda: And then—
Julia: Boop.
Amanda: —the construct reaches out and boops Obstructer Constructor on the nose. And I think what I want to do is pierce the mask to ask, how can I gain influence over them?
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: All right. Well, let's see if you roll well enough to get that. Piercing the mask, I need plus mundane.
Amanda: Okay. So that is zero for Rowan.
Eric: Ooh.
Amanda: [dice roll] Six.
Brandon: Well—
Eric: It's not gonna do it.
Brandon: Well—
Amanda: Ah, shitter. All right, marking potential.
Brandon: But is it a plus zero for Voidie McClynn?
Eric: Voidie McClynn.
Amanda: Yeah, we have the same stats.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Oh, anyone could put a tech dummy together. The hard part is holding it together when you're in some trouble.
Eric: And you hear [explosion] clang. As, Rowan, a rusty chain out of nowhere locks to your ankle and starts to drag you towards a hole that is opening up in the middle of the geodesic dome. There is flame spurting out of the bottom, and you hear the gnashing of gears and metallic teeth coming from inside of the hole.
Brandon (as Connor): The robot devil.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Can you hold it together when you're getting pulled into the redactor compactor?
Eric: Snap, snap, snap.
Julia: Oh, my God.
Amanda (as Rowan): I think so.
Eric: Craft, Connor, what are y'all doing?
Brandon: At that moment, I think Connor is sort of like— you know, he's been fidgeting with the wristband on his fitness tracker, and eventually, sort of just pops it off?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I assume that's okay to do.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Brandon: He's gonna get angry at this point, because this asshole is threatening his friends.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And he's getting really fucking mad. And so he sort of does that Gandalf thing where something looks 10 feet tall, and bulks himself up, and just starts fucking charging at Obstructer Constructor. And I would like to use my move, which is called be the monster.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Hey.
Brandon: And I want to frighten, intimidate or cow others with my monstrous form. So I don't know that I need to actually hit him, but I want to scare the shit out of him, because this—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —big motherfucker is coming to tackle his ass. You hear just down the tunnel from the action, just like [screams]
Eric: I love— yeah. Hell yeah. Just charging back lit— with the oil lamps, just charging forward. I feel like your shadow coming forward is so big—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —it just— you burst into the dome. Yeah, let's meet the monster. Let's roll plus freak. Let's see how it goes.
Julia: Hell yeah, dawg.
Brandon: I'm so gonna— I'm gonna fuck this up.
Julia: No, you're not gonna fuck it up.
Brandon: All right, I'm gonna roll plus freak, and because it's not a basic move, I don't have to add my three condition.
Eric: Yay.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Woo.
Eric: No subtractions, all right. So just plus freak.
Brandon: And my freak is huge, it's plus three.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: I'm always saying this.
Brandon: Come on. No whammy. [dice roll] Okay, I got a five plus three for an eight. That's okay. That's okay.
Eric: That's good. That's good.
Brandon: That's okay.
Eric: Okay. On a hit, they are thrown off and make themselves vulnerable to you. On a seven to nine, choose two. You frighten others you had not intended to scare. You hurt someone or break something you shouldn't have. You feel more like a monster afterwards, mark a condition.
Brandon: And that would be the GM's choice.
Amanda: Well, well, well.
Julia: There's only one left.
Eric: Yeah. Well, you get— yeah. You get to choose the two, though.
Brandon: Yeah, I get to choose the two. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna frighten others, so I'm sure I'm gonna frighten my teammates. I was thinking that would probably happen anyway. And— goddamn it, do I choose condition again?
Julia: No, you have to save hopeless for the prom.
Brandon: I still have angry.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Eric: Yeah, you still have angry. You could hurt someone or break something you shouldn't have.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And I think that could be Obstructer Constructor himself.
Brandon: True.
Eric: Because, again, like, you know, although you are not directly engaging a threat, that doesn't mean violence does not happen.
Brandon: That's true. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll hurt someone or break something you shouldn't have. So it's a full page sequence where, like, you just see him get bigger and bigger through the blackened hallway.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: And then the last panel, you just see him, like, smash into Obstructer Constructor screaming.
Eric: God, I love that. Yeah, you thought you were just gonna scare him, but instead, you, like— you instinctively just keep running and just lower your shoulder.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And, yeah, he flies off of you and slams back into the wall. And I think that he's thrown, like cracks and falls on top of them.
Brandon: And Connor's just—
Brandon (as Connor): [pants]
Julia as (Craft): Damn.
Amanda (as Rowan): That worked.
Brandon (as Connor): Don't fuck with my teammates.
Eric: What would be worse, Obstructer Constructor is knocked out, and then you can't talk to him anymore, and then all of the technomancy stops, or he's not and the techno man's still going, and Rowan is still attached to the chain?
Brandon: Well, so I got my essay thing, Craft, I think did, too. But, Rowan, did you?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I don't think so, because—
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: —I failed the pierce the mask roll.
Brandon: So I think that would be worse is that he's knocked out, and Rowan would fail her assignment, basically.
Eric: Yeah, I think that would be worse. I think, yeah, Rowan, the chain— the gnashing of the metallic gears and the spouting— the Gout of fire slows down to a crawl, and the chain stop pulling you back as Obstructer Constructor is knocked out underneath his trash throne.
Amanda (as Rowan): I— we gotta go. I'm sorry.
Amanda: And Rowan, like dashes her hand in, like, a very sudden movement to the side, and the construction dissipates.
Brandon: Well, Eric, does that count as foolhardy action without talking to my team?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon: Yes!
Julia: Clear that condition, baby.
Eric: I'd say so. I think there were enough consequences that I would say so.
Brandon: So that means I get to clear my insecure action, and Connor, as he's heaving and you see his chest just like expand and contract like a full eight inches, he looks around and sees his teammates sort of cowering a little bit, like a little scared of him, and he's just gonna run out, and run away from this problem.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, no.
Brandon: Which, hopefully, would also clear my afraid condition, because I'm running from something difficult.
Eric: You are extremely running from something difficult. Bang, bang. Connor ruins Rowan's grade and then runs away.
Brandon: Yes.
Eric: Absolutely. Craft and Rowan, you're still inside of the trash dome. And Craft, you're chilling.
Julia (as Craft): Rowan—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah?
Julia (as Craft): —you didn't get to ask a question, really— I mean, you didn't get an answer to your question.
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Julia (as Craft): Maybe we can take him with us, I don't know.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Brandon: It's like a show and tell in front of the class.
Julia (as Craft): I— well, my thought is, he can't stay passed out forever, right?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): And then we could just tie him up and then ask him questions that way.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, that's a great idea, but we'll let him go after.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Julia (as Craft): We haven't do anything to him.
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, as long as we take him to the dorm, that'll be okay, because then nobody will know. And so we'll just have him in the dorm, because then, if he was in, like, the school or something, then they'd be like, "Oh, villain alert." But, like, obviously, the defenses aren't working very well right now.
Julia: Now, Eric.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Remind me what I know about that teleporter thing that was floating away from me.
Eric: Great. The teleporter can take you anywhere you want to go once. It will break as soon as you do it, it is one way. As long as the number of people can get on the disc, you can all go. And it should just be anywhere you've been before, I guess.
Julia: I think Craft sends Connor a text says—
Julia (as Craft): Hey, gonna teleport out of here. Meet you back at the dorm.
Brandon: I think you hear buzzing on the ground of this cavern, his phone that he left.
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Great. Snatch that up.
Amanda: Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, oh, oh. Wait, can we take him to that guy's room and not mine? It's just— I just cleaned.
Julia (as Craft): I was gonna say we take him to our cool rooftop.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah, yeah. That's better.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks.
Julia (as Craft): Cool. So—
Amanda (as Rowan): And, you know—
Amanda: Rowan just, like, lays a hand on Craft's forearm and is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): I— if anything gets kind of, like, out of control, just remember the thing about, like, isolating me and, like, keeping me apart from other stuff. And also, if you just, like, have to shove me off a rooftop of something, that's okay, because then I have to focus on, like, you know, not crashing and whatever else I'm doing, it probably will stop. Okay?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, I would love to not throw you off a rooftop.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, no. Me, too, but just— yeah.
Eric: Are you sharing a vulnerability or a weakness and telling them how they can stop you?
Brandon: Aw.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: You sure are.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Craft, since you already have influence over Rowan, you can shift Rowan's labels and Rowan can clear a condition.
Julia: I think Rowan's savior should go up.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: And your freak down?
Amanda: I can do that. That gives me straight zeros except danger, which is a plus three.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: There we go.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: And Rowan, you can clear a condition.
Amanda: Hey. Condition-less, baby.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Nice. So I'm gonna grab Connor's phone. Craft is like—
Julia (as Craft): Can you find, like, a non-techno thing to tie him up with, like, maybe, like, a rubber hose or—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Not something he won't be able to manipulate later.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Cool. And then we'll tie him up with that, and we'll throw him on the disc and we'll fucking get out of here.
Eric: I love it. I think we see a panel of you guys looking through the trash, and you see an old Slip N' Slide.
Amanda (as Rowan): The fuck was this?
Julia: It's so wide, and he's so small.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Rowan will, like, tear a piece of the grade rubber.
Eric: No. You wrap him up to his nose.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Smart. Smart.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And y'all can— you hop on the disc. It, like, opens up and it's already, like, sparking and cracking with the three of you on the weight of the teleporter.
Julia (as Craft): We gotta go.
Amanda (as Rowan): Just make sure it's on the roof and not above the roof, okay?
Julia (as Craft): You— no, no, no. Like, I— I'm picturing the space that is not occupied by furniture—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): —on a roof.
Amanda (as Rowan): Very good.
Eric: [teleportation noise] Brandon, can you do that in reverse for the second—
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: —when you land? [reverse teleportation noise] You are on the roof, and you drop on top of a lounge chair, then you pulled up to the top of the building.
Julia (as Craft): I said not on top of any furniture.
Eric: And then [clanks] the teleportation disc just crumbles underneath you.
Amanda (as Rowan): That was really good.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): I was expecting to have, like, the chair through my leg or something.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. We might have to get more of these.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, okay.
Amanda: So I feel like we set up Obstructer Constructor, like a Weekend at Bernie’s situation, where he's just, like, propped up in the lounge chair. We tie him in the Slip N' Slide with just like—
Brandon: Sunglasses.
Amanda: Exactly. Like some tin foil, some rope, like to the chair, and then Rowan slaps his cheeks.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): [grumbles]
Julia (as Craft): I will gently defibrillate you if I have to.
Amanda (as Rowan): Welcome, villain. You are being held until we can ask you your questions, and then you are free to go. Therefore, it's not torture.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Madeline, five more minutes.
Julia (as Craft): Who's Madeline? Rowan, ask, who's Madeline?
Amanda (as Rowan): Who's Madeline? Is that your wife? Did you get your heart broke and then you became a villain?
Julia (as Craft): Or is it your mom?
Amanda (as Rowan): Or maybe like your daughter?
Julia (as Craft): Or sister?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): This is the absolute worst attempt that I've ever seen to get me for— what is this? Is this for Dr. Ram's class?
Julia (as Craft): Does he assign the same assignment every year?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Do students try to beat me up and ask me questions every year?
Julia (as Craft): But to be fair, we didn't want to beat you up. You attacked us first.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, you were gonna drag me into that thing with the cool name.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): You walked into a villains lair.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, but like for school.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, but I do that all the time.
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, I don't, but I didn't think it will go bad. Unlike most of my life.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I know you're like, what, 17 and a half?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, why?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, no, I'm 18.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Little Prometheus, you're— you know, your circumstance is different. I don't even know why you're going to the school. They— this— is this a secret? If it's a villain thing, you need to tell me, or it's entrapment.
Julia (as Craft): I mean—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, was there like a code of honor?
Brandon: I think you're already trapped, bud.
Eric: Hey, Brandon, shut up.
Julia: Can I tell if I said this was a villain thing, if he would be more forthcoming if Rowan asked him a question? Can I assess the situation, is what I'm asking.
Eric: You can certainly assess the situation.
Julia: Great. Thank you. I roll superior, which is a zero.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Here we go.
Eric: Let's do it.
Amanda: You can roll, Julia. You don't need it.
Julia: [dice roll] That is a six plus three for a nine.
Eric: Ooh, that's a nine. Ask a question.
Julia: What here can I use to make you emotionally vulnerable to me, or to Rowan, specifically?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): What are you even doing here? It doesn't make any sense. Dr. Prometheus is one of the best teachers I've ever known, and I've only seen his online classes.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, you subscribed to those? Yeah.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): It's made me a better me. And what are you doing? This has to be some sort of cover or you wouldn't be doing anything like this. Or maybe you're just over your skis, teenage adolescent, I think you are.
Eric: And because Obstructer Constructor is an adult, I have influence over you. So I'm going to try to shift your labels.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: I'm bringing your superior down and your mundane up, because you're just a teenager and you're an idiot.
Julia: Cool. I— can I resist that?
Eric: I would love it if you would resist it.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: So if someone tries to influence you and you reject it, you just roll 2d6.
Julia: Okay. [dice roll] Seven.
Eric: Seven, okay. You tune Obstructer Constructor out. You can clear condition or mark potential by immediately acting to prove them wrong. You can shift one label up and one label down, your choice. But I'm gonna say you have to say something cool. And you can cancel their influence against you and take plus forward against them by saying something very hurtful, is what I'm going to say.
Julia: I'm gonna say—
Julia (as Craft): It seems like even without trying, he taught me a lot more than he ever taught you, buddy.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Got him.
Julia: I'd like to cancel their influence and take plus one forward against them.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: All right. So you get plus one forward to that, and because you are assessing the situation, you get another plus one.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Eric: Obstructer Constructor gets a— the hurt look on your face when a teenager really reads you to filth, and recedes back into the chair and stops wiggling, stops fighting, and stops antagonizing you, if only for the moment.
Julia (as Craft): So what's gonna happen here, something you can learn from me, in fact, is you are going to answer one of Rowan's questions, and then we're going to let you go so that you can see another day on your garbage chair.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, what she said.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): You're gonna let me out immediately?
Amanda (as Rowan): Gotta find your own way home, but yeah.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Fine.
Julia (as Craft): We will escort you off the premises.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Fine. If you're really heroes, you won't , backtrack on a deal.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, my plan is I'm not going to tell an adult, and we are going to escort you off the premises.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Fine.
Julia (as Craft): Excellent. Rowan, your question, please.
Amanda (as Rowan): What was the moment that you irrevocably became a villain?
Eric: I'm gonna let you roll— do pierce the mask again. And if Julia, you're happy with that, I will take—
Julia: Please take my plus two forward.
Eric: Take the plus two forward that Julia has on this.
Amanda: Oh, thank you. All right, my mundane is still zero.
Eric: Okay, mundane plus two.
Amanda: All right, that's a six plus two for an eight.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Woo.
Eric: All right.
Amanda: Hoo. Hoo.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The time, the thing that irrevocably turned me into a villain—
Julia (as Craft): Oh, make sure you're recording.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: And then Rowan, like, stats a new voice memo.
Eric: Obstructer Constructor looks at the phone and, like, you feel the phone have, like, a little tug out of your hand.
Amanda (as Rowan): No, no, no.
Julia (as Craft): Hey, no, no, no.
Eric: And he's like—
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I want it close enough so you can hear it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Fine.
Amanda: Rowan holds the phone up toward him.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): The moment that irreversibly turned me into a villain is when my wife Madeline died. They threw her body into Edgewater Lake.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, shit.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): I looked for it for years, and then this fucking school was pulled out of the depths, and I can't look for Madeline's body anymore. It's here. I know it's here.
Julia (as Craft): On the school premises?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Yes.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, oh, shit.
Julia (as Craft): Do— would you like us to help you try to find it?
Amanda (as Rowan): Can we help you?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): No.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. Well, we tried.
Amanda (as Rowan): I— oh, shit, that's so sad. Thank you? May her memory be a blessing, and the sort of, like, burden of finding her body not outweigh the blessing of a memory. Whoa.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, so we're gonna have to keep you wrapped in the Slip N' Slide as we escort you off premises.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): I hope that's okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll just— I'll float you over the bridge and then you can go.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Hmm. Fine. Do it now. I have to feed the T-rexes.
Julia (as Craft): What do they eat?
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Microchips.
Julia: Yeah, that was what, I was gonna make that joke, Brandon.
Amanda (as Rowan): Teenagers.
Eric (as Obstructer Constructor): Microchips and teenagers.
Eric: Connor, what do you do? Where you at? What are you doing? Where are you going?
Brandon: Connor's in his room. Connor's in his dorm room with his head underneath a pillow, just sort of, like, going through it.
Eric: Bump, bump, bump. Something is bumping up against your window.
Brandon: I just peek one eye out underneath my pillow to see what it is.
Julia: I just pictured Connor with, like, snail eyes and I don't know why.
Amanda: I pictured the eye protruding, yeah, through the skin to, like, kind of go up a little bit like a periscope.
Brandon: It's not doing that, but it's cool to think about that.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There is a drone holding a letter outside of your door. But this is not the same drones that come and bother Craft. These— they look like stealth bombers.
Brandon: Like air— very aerodynamic.
Eric: Very aerodynamic, and it's like bumping— like an air— you know, like when a— when an— when a paper airplane swoops?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: It does that, but it's doing that just on its own, bumping up against your window.
Brandon: I'm gonna walk over to the window, and because dorm windows don't usually open, just sort of smash your finger— the hand through it.
Eric: No, it's fine. You grab the— you grab it, and then the stealth bomber drone flies away.
Brandon: I'm gonna open that letter.
Eric: Inside, there is a type written note that says, "This is to inform you that you have misused information from Heroes 4 Hire." And then your name is filled in, Connor Lyons, "You can either phone, fax, email, or come in person to Heroes 4 Hire and declare your guilty plea for misusing information. If not, please fax, email, or call to enter your not guilty plea and will bring you into arbitration."
Brandon (as Connor): Shit.
Eric: Sign— and then at the bottom, it just says, Information Retrieval Team, Heroes 4 Hire."
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: What do you do?
Brandon: I think he just sort of tucks it away for now and just ignores it, you know?
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Like if he doesn't look at it, it doesn't happen.
Eric: Absolutely.
Julia: And then knock, knock, knock.
Amanda (as Rowan): We know you're in there.
Brandon (as Connor): No, I'm not.
Julia (as Craft): I have your phone.
Amanda (as Rowan): I can feel your heartbeat.
Julia (as Craft): It didn't get destroyed.
Brandon (as Connor): Go away.
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Brandon (as Connor): I'm not in here. I'm Connor's roommate.
Julia (as Craft): Connor doesn't have a roommate.
Amanda (as Rowan): You're too big for the single bed. You got a double bed.
Brandon (as Connor): Nuh-uh.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm unlocking the door now.
Brandon (as Connor): No, I'm naked.
Amanda (as Rowan): No, you're not.
Julia (as Craft): No, you're not.
Amanda: And—
Julia (as Craft): Also, it doesn't matter.
Amanda: And Rowan threw the doorknob, unlocks the lock with her powers.
Brandon (as Connor): Did you really make it gravity proof, these locks?
Julia (as Craft): We're coming in now, so if you are naked, can you please put on pants?
Brandon (as Connor): Fine.
Amanda (as Rowan): It was really rude how that guy assumed you have flush pockets.
Brandon: And you walk in and Connor's like in a full suit.
Julia (as Craft): Thank you. Here's your phone back. I didn't leave it in the villain's layer, so you're welcome.
Brandon: Connor's back on the bed with his head underneath the pillow, and he just reaches his arm out.
Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.
Julia: Throws it in his hand.
Julia (as Craft): And also, good news, we did kidnap him, and Rowan got her question in, so we can pass this assignment.
Brandon (as Connor): Good.
Amanda (as Rowan): I couldn't have done it without you guys. I'm really sorry.
Brandon (as Connor): I think you could have done without me—
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Brandon (as Connor): —in that situation.
Amanda (as Rowan): I would have been dragged as that compactor.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't think so.
Julia (as Craft): She would have gotten smooshed.
Amanda (as Rowan): We got smooshed.
Brandon (as Connor): No.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): No.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Like, literally, yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I hurt an innocent person for no reason.
Amanda (as Rowan): That guy is not innocent.
Julia (as Craft): Well— yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, the worst he did is send a paint robot after us. It's not that big of a deal.
Julia (as Craft): No. He tried to smoosh Rowan.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Well—
Amanda (as Rowan): He said some really mean stuff.
Julia (as Craft): He did say some really shitty things. That sucks.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. And I just, like, leaned into my baser instincts for no fucking reason, it's— yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Hey.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, it was in defense of us. It was pretty fucking scary, but like that was very useful at the time.
Brandon (as Connor): But I should be able to talk my way out of that. I don't have to— shouldn't have to be a monster to do that.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, you can't convince people who don't want to listen, to listen.
Amanda (as Rowan): Sometimes you gotta. Sometimes you gotta show 'em. I tried to show my powers and it didn't work, but sometimes it will work. Like the thing with Samantha, when I messed up and messed up all those houses and caused, I don't know, $1,000 of damage or some number.
Julia (as Craft): I think it might be more than that. Oh, well.
Amanda (as Rowan): Do you say, "Oh, Rowan, silly. Why'd you do that? Oh, irresponsible." No.
Brandon (as Connor): No, that wasn't your fault.
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Amanda: And she gives a little friendly slap to the side of his face.
Amanda (as Rowan): No.
Brandon: You hit the pillow.
Amanda (as Rowan): You said, "I got your back," and we got your back always. That's why we're a team.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, think of how much we hate Powers, I mean, Rick, right?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): That's— take that amount—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yes, yes, yes.
Julia (as Craft): —and reverse— Uno Reverse it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yes.
Julia (as Craft): And that's how much we like you.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): That's a lot.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, dude.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: All right, who wants to comfort or support Connor?
Julia: Both of us want to do that. He's got a lot of conditions to clear.
Amanda: Hell yeah, I do. Well, that's a four.
Julia: Okay, I'm gonna roll. [dice roll]
Amanda: Yoinks.
Julia: That is a seven.
Brandon: Hey.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Pretty good.
Amanda: Marking potential.
Eric: Connor, you are— you can— if you open up to what Craft is saying, then you can mark potential, clear condition, or shift labels.
Brandon: Yeah. I think Connor throws a side pillow that he uses it at Rowan, he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): Shut up.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yep, yep. Nope, too much. I got it.
Brandon: But then, because he feels guilty about the situation with ART-AI and Craft, he listens to Craft and hopefully that absolves his guilt, his guilty condition.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Open up, my man, open up.
Brandon (as Connor): No, that makes sense, I guess. I just like— I really don't like losing control like that. It's, like, just, like, not me, you know?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, but like, also you channeled that. I don't think you lost control. I think you channeled it into something that helped us.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, it just reminds me of a different, you know?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, but, like, literally, look at both me and Rowan. We're all fucking different, man.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, I think you guys are pretty cool.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, and we think you're pretty fucking cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, so like—
Brandon (as Connor): You can see my kidney.
Amanda (as Rowan): So like deal with it.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, that's cool as fuck.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. The rest of us, you can't see it. What's the point? It's just in there?
Julia: Craft rips off an arm.
Julia (as Craft): We're all fucking different, man.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, okay, okay.
Julia: Right back up.
Brandon: And Connor laughs.
Eric: That's great. All right, let's wipe forward to the next time you have Villain Studies, your senior seminar. It is time for you to submit your projects.
Brandon: Woo!
Amanda: Yay!
Julia: So cool.
Eric: So let's see how this goes. Let's do the academic move. I think Dr. Ram
is like—
Eric (as Dr. Mohinder Ram): Okay, let's have everyone present— you're all going to present your interviews with a villain. Very excited to see who all of you tackled. I know I've heard some reports. Maybe one of you went to Lake Town City. Interesting, stretching yourself. Clean up a lot—
Amanda (as Rowan): Boring.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Sorry?
Amanda (as Rowan): Predictable, boring.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): A lot of you cleaned up some crime right here at home. I— interesting, interesting stuff. So yeah, let's do our presentations oh, liz— lizards. Okay. Cool. Yeah.
Eric: There's a montage of presentations.
Brandon: Someone just did lizards as villain? They could regrow their tails. They're fucked up.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Oh, a legal lizard ring. Okay. That's fine. Remember, not all villains need to have powers. You're cleaning up the streets. That's what— that's what's important. Okay. Rowan, Connor, Craft, what do you got here?
Julia: I think we made a PowerPoint presentation with the audio clips—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —of our specific questions.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And Craft, like, spent a little too much time, like, trying to animate them with kind of, like, stick figures and, like, characters.
Eric: Absolutely.
Amanda: Julia, did we try stop motion photography and Rowan just, like, holds the, like, the salt shakers in place, or what— it's cutlery from the student kitchen? And then—
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: —you can, like, take photos to stop motion it?
Julia: Yeah. That's exactly what happened.
Eric: Incredible. All right. Well, let's see how this presentation goes. Each player is going to roll plus danger. We're gonna do each of you individually.
Brandon: Who's gone first?
Amanda: I will go first.
Julia: You have plus three to danger, right?
Amanda: Yep, and I rolled four, stop it, which is a one on the January dice, but I have plus three, so that yields an eight.
Eric: That's an eight.
Julia: All right, all right.
Eric: Okay, an eight for Rowan.
Julia: I'm so nervous.
Eric: All right, Craft— let's see how Craft does. I wonder if this means more to her now.
Julia: I get plus two to this.
Eric: Great.
Julia: [dice roll] That is a six plus four, plus two for a 12.
Brandon: Hey.
Eric: A six and a four and a two for a 12? Goddamn.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: Let's go.
Julia: Craft spent too much time on this PowerPoint.
Eric: You truly did, and Connor, let's get our last roll.
Brandon: All right. Here's the roll. I have a plus three to danger and no conditions.
Julia: Do we average this out?
Eric: No. No, no, no.
Julia: Damn, okay.
Eric: Each of you, individually.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: That is a four plus six, plus three for 13.
Eric: 13, let's go!
Julia: Let's go!
Amanda: Fuck yeah, dude.
Brandon: But Eric—
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Brandon: I think what happens is that at the end of the presentation, you know, it's like a fancy— at the end of a silent film, it says "The End"—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —or whatever.
Julia: With a PowerPoint, Word Art.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah. And Connor clicks it one more, and he steps forward, and he says—
Brandon (as Connor): Dr. Ram, if you'll indulge me, I— for my project, I really— I thought maybe this wasn't the right way to go about this. So instead of focusing on villains for my grade, I would really love to focus on two upcoming heroes that really showed their character.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Julia (as Craft): I'm gonna cry.
Brandon: And Connor clicks forward and it says, "Gravitas and Craft: Two Heroes You Can Count On (They're still assholes, though)."
Amanda: Rowan is openly weeping, laughs, punches Connor in the shoulder.
Brandon: And then Connor does a full, like, 10-minute presentation about how Craft and Gravitas are incredible, up-and-coming heroes and how we shouldn't focus on villainy, but instead focus on the heroes who keep our citizens safe.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon (as Connor): So if that means that I get a negative grade, that's fine. I— that's totally fine. But I thought maybe this was the way to go about this project instead.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, you asshole. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Brandon (as Connor): No, you're the asshole. Read the sign.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Damn. Damn, dude.
Eric: In the middle of this presentation, you see that Glimmer just gets up and, like, pushes her chair over and walks out.
Julia: Is she okay?
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: And at the end, Dr. Ram is like—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): This doesn't fit anywhere on my rubric, so— I mean, good job, but do you want extra points? I don't know what I'm supposed to do here.
Brandon (as Connor): You do whatever you want to do. This was not for you. I don't— no offense.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay, but you were in the middle of a present— I guess— okay.
Brandon (as Connor): But it's for the class and for us as like— as the next class of superheroes, the next generation of superheroes going forward, you know? I'm sharpening our perspective as a generation.
Amanda (as Rowan): And, like, some teachers said that it's not really about the grade, and it's about, like, what would happen in life. And I'm— I think doing this after a challenging assignment for your team is kind of like A plus, just have, like, a person.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Oh, I said that. Dang.
Julia (as Craft): Got him.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Dang. All right.
Amanda (as Rowan): Maybe you didn't, and we're in a multiverse. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.
Brandon: He kills you.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay. Thank you, Connor. A good presentation, good job, all of you. Not really— I don't know— what do you want me to do— I don't know what you want me to do. I— like I just— what are you supposed to—
Brandon (as Connor): We're sitting down. Let's just move on to the next one.
Brandon: And the slide says, "Fart Stink Cloud, the ultimate villain."
Eric (as Fart Stink Cloud): Yeah. So I think the real important thing is that if you're gonna fart after lunch, you better do that shit outside.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Word.
Eric: And you see one single tear, because Dr. Ram is not paying attention to the Fart Stick Cloud presentation. And Dr. Ram steals his glance at Connor, and one single tear rolls down his cheek as he looks to his desk and sees a framed picture of him and its former superhero team. And then he wipes the tear away.
Brandon: Aw.
Amanda: Aw.
Julia: Aw. Aw.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Okay. And finally, we have TeamCast, Rick Powers and Wraith. What presentation do you have for all of you— all of us today?
Amanda (as Rowan): Woo! Go, Wraith. Go, Wraith.
Brandon (as Connor): Woo, Wraith. Woo!
Eric (as Wraith): Thanks, guys. We went down to the bowels of— no, I'm just kidding. We didn't do that. TeamCast, can you plug into your HDMI port and get the thing going?
Eric (as TeamCast): I do not have permission. I do not have permission.
Julia: I do not have permission.
Eric (as TeamCast): I do not have permission.
Eric (as Wraith): Okay, hold on. Hold on.
Eric: Rick Powers steps forward and his shoes, like, open up to be a podium, and a light comes down from him, like a light angler fish. Light grows out of the top of his head and shines down on him, giving him a perfect spot light.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's how his lighting is so good on his selfies.
Eric (as Rick Powers): You know, we don't have to do a presentation. I know we spent a lot of time doing it. We'll submit that to you later. Dr. Ram. But, you know, I think the most important thing, and Connor, you said it so beautifully, and I couldn't think more of it myself, but you know, it's important that you combine the two, is— what's good for— what is good for your superhero team. And also the fact that we took down the notorious criminal gang Cloud Cover.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, the ones that were robbing liquor stores?
Eric (as Powers): Well, in fact, it turns out that they tried to rob the school and we took them down.
Brandon (as Connor): What?
Eric (as Powers): I'll show you. Let's go to the garage.
Brandon (as Connor): You're taking us on a field trip.
Eric (as Powers): Come on, we're all going.
Eric: And then in, like, the garage, where they bring in all, like, the food and stuff, just like in the back of the school, there is a giant jar with a big lid on it, and inside are the four cloud cousins of Cloud Cover. They're banging up against the jar. The small one is, like, running around. The big cumulonimbus is punching with his big cloud fists, just like punching and you can just hear them like—
Eric (as Clark Cumulonimbus): Let me out. Let me out. Ahhh, let me out.
Eric (as Powers): Yeah. So, like, they tried to steal stuff from the school, and we caught him last night, so I guess pretty good. Turns out all of their respective parents all left them together because, quote, "kids are lame" or— a wicked lame kid, they're from Boston learned that, from Southie that— which is where the number one crimes are always committed. There's always a bank robbery happening every six seconds.
Julia: It's one of the number one crime is?
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, well, number one crime neighborhood in Boston and on the East Coast. So, like, we caught them, and they told us everything, and their life is actually really sad, and I feel bad for them. So—
Amanda (as Rowan): I also learned about how villains are mostly people who was hurt.
Brandon (as Connor): Rowan, you don't have to.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, you don't have to.
Amanda (as Rowan): You're right. You left them just in a jar with, like, no food or anything for, like, 12 hours. That's not good.
Eric (as Dr. Ram): Well, I think that that's what's important, because they took down Harvey Withers, and I think that we all needed to do what was best to take care of everyone's favorite groundskeeper, Harvey Withers. Harvey, come on out here.
Eric: An actual Harvey, in his chair, that is being carried by TeamCast—
Julia: No, impossible.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: —is brought over and be like—
Eric (as Harvey Withers): I don't want to admit it, but I was taken by those cloud fools.
Brandon (as Connor): How did they get in?
Amanda (as Rowan): Harvey, are you okay?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): You know, we don't ask those questions about how or why, and I think that Harvey just needs some more time to recover.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, I think we should.
Eric: Dr. Ram says—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): You know, the school is reviewing it. Harvey is going to— is going to get better. Don't worry about it.
Amanda: Rowan texts the group chat of the three of us.
Amanda (as Rowan): So what are the odds that they deliberately let these villains in so they could look to apprehend them?
Julia (as Craft): Oh, like a 100%.
Brandon (as Connor): I'd say a 110%, yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. We got to figure this out.
Eric: We turn the page of the comic book and we see what happened that night. The willowy, wispy one, who is Cumulus, makes a cloud into a little boat with a sail, and then conjures wind to push the raft across the lake.
Brandon: That's tight.
Eric: And then all four of them, like, run up the side of the hill. There's lights— you know, there's lights everywhere, they, like, stand back, walk around the lights. The little one, the 11-year-old, Cirrus, like, zooms over, turns the lights off, and then zooms back, and then gives his cousins, like, a smile. And he's, like, playing with a lighter the whole time. They nod to the cousin, who's kind of like in a big cloud robe, like a wizard's robe, but it's made out of clouds. And she, like, swirls her hands around and there is just like a haze falls over the school, and that is when you hear, "Boom," as circular nimbus punches the doors in. Cirrus runs through the fog and then uppercuts Harvey Withers in his chair.
Julia (as Craft): How dare they?
Brandon (as Connor): What a bastard.
Eric (as Cirrus): I love what blood looks like.
Amanda: Ah, that's so disturbing.
Julia: Jesus.
Eric (as Cloud Wizard): All right, let's start— let's stop messing around. Where's the— where's that closet?
Eric: And the haze dissipates, and they're looking around, like the Cloud Wizard, like, has her hand up to her third cloud stormy eye, and just looking around. And she says—
Eric (as Cloud Wizard): There. That's it.
Eric: And then [explosion] punches the door open, and that's when you hear Rick Powers says—
Eric (as Powers): Don't you goons ever remember to knock?
Eric: And then TeamCast, Wraith, and Rick Powers jumps out of the closet, and then cut back to class.
Eric (as TeamCast): Yeah, we took them down. Terrible childhood. It all worked out.
Brandon: Sorry, did they tell this story out loud to us in the class, or is this just us as players know this now?
Eric: No, they would say this out loud. I think that that's all cosher.
Amanda: Uh- hmm.
Eric: And then Rick Power says—
Eric (as Powers): Yeah, and then we took them down. They were actually pretty— once— they really rely on the element of surprise there once you confront them— when you confront them with power right in their face. They actually pretty easy to take down. And then we talked to them, and they just— you know, they need jobs, honestly, jobs. That's the really— that's the real problem.
Julia (as Craft): Did they say what they were looking for out here?
Eric (as Powers): They wanted this stuff in the closet.
Julia: Is it the closet that I went into?
Eric: Yes, it is the same closet that Craft broke into only an episode ago.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda (as Rowan): And so how did you know that they were going to be coming for that closet that night, that you were just, like, so perfectly positioned to be there?
Eric (as Powers): We were on patrol, and they just so happened that it happened.
Julia (as Craft): You were on patrol in the closet?
Eric (as Powers): Yeah. Someone— you know, we had— we've— we thought someone had broken in before, so we made sure to make extra precautions.
Julia (as Craft): Fucking suspicious.
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, Powers.
Eric (as Powers): Oh, we have questions from the audience. Yeah. Who is that? Oh, Connor, yeah, what's up?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, look at me. Look at me right now.
Eric (as Powers): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't know how you stage this, but I'm gonna fucking find out, and you're gonna get kicked out of this school.
Eric (as Powers): Okay. Well, you're not gonna find out anything that doesn't— it didn't happen, so—
Eric: Wraith, with her teenage girl face—
Eric (as Wraith): Connor, come on. There's nothing— I don't know why you're so suspicious of us. Like, I know that we have a higher rank than you, but, like, it's not— come on. It's not that big of a deal, right? It doesn't matter.
Brandon: Connor is just sitting back into his chair and just, like, tapping his pencil on the desk.
Eric (as Powers): So, yeah, that's our presentation. Dr. Mo. Do you have any follow-up questions?
Eric (as Dr. Ram): No, I think we're all good. I'm gonna fill out your rubrics here. I'm gonna submit your grades into the grade portal and, you know, if you have any questions, my office hours are always open. I gotta go. So before— I gotta go, so good job. We're gonna start a new unit next week, all about money and how it corrupts absolutely. Okay. So, yeah, have a good day, and I don't know, go do stuff.
Eric: Boing, boing, boing, boing.
Brandon: Now, is the great portal a literal portal where he throws grades into it?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: Incredible. It's like an alphabet soup, but it sort of, like, floats off into the students' records.
Eric: Here's what happens with your academic moves. For those of you who got 10 plus, mark one potential or shift the tests label up and down any other label. I think both of you have maxed out danger, though.
Julia: I don't have maxed out danger, but I'm going to take the potential.
Eric: Cool. One potential.
Julia: Which also means I get to pick an advancement next episode.
Amanda: Hey, me too.
Brandon: I'm going to mark potential too, because I only have two marks, so I'm up to three out of five. So I want to keep going on that.
Eric: Nice. So yeah, both of you get your grades back and you got A's. Incredible.
Brandon (as Connor): Yes!
Julia (as Craft): Hell yeah.
Eric: Connor, you got one extra point for your heartfelt thing, and he's like—
Eric (as Dr. Ram): I don't know how I'm supposed to grade this. Like, I'm glad you love your team. That's good. I just— I don't know how to process that as grades. On a different note, I appreciate you came and saw me. Asking people what you're supposed to do next is a good idea. If you need help raising your rank, please come to office hours.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, the whole thing about the school is about subjective grading with the rankings, so who knows?
Eric: To Craft, man, you haven't gotten a grade above, like, 80 in like a year, huh?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: Feels good. 95 for Craft.
Julia (as Craft): Not bad. Solid.
Eric: The only note was, "Loved animations. Spend more time on content than on animations, but great job." Rowan, you get an 80 the audio quality on your recording wasn't that clear, so I wasn't able to hear your questions that well. I don't know what you did to upset the villain too, but that's usually— you might get compromised answers if you put them in a highly emotional state.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric: So when you have a seven to nine, Rowan, you did all right, but you have to sacrifice something to make the cut. Choose one, you disappoint an adult, you sacrifice your social life, you lost your responsibility, or you hurt your academic standing.
Amanda: Huh.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: I think this hurts Rowan's academic standing.
Julia: Whoa.
Eric: Dang. I think that the next day, Rowan, when you're walking into school, they compute new rankings every single Monday, and Rowan, you are at number five. Connor is still at eight, and Craft is at a gentleman's high 60s.
Julia: Whoa. That's like I doubled my ranking overnight. Fuck yeah, dude.
Eric: Big jump. The— it's the Delta. It's the Delta, Julia.
Amanda: And Rowan sees it, feels a— stab a feeling, and then smushes that right down.
Eric: Wonderful. All right. We—
Brandon: You smoosh down the gravity of the situation.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Damn, dude.
Brandon: Damn, dude.
Eric: Hell yeah. All right, end of session. Each of you gets to choose. You can grow closer to the team. You grow into your image of yourself or you grow away from the team.
Julia: Closer to the team, for sure. Hondo P.
Eric: Hell yeah. How— who made you feel welcome?
Julia: I think the reconciliation between Connor and Craft in the comforting scene was part of it, and also, like, getting to tag team, one-on-one with Rowan was also very helpful for Craft feeling a certain way about her teammates.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Nice. So Connor does not have influence on you, but Rowan does. Who do you want to give influence to?
Julia: I want to get back on Connor's good list, so I think we'll do that.
Eric: Nice. All right. Influence on you, boom, Connor, and you can clear a condition or mark potential.
Julia: I want to mark another potential.
Eric: Bang, God. You're gonna level up soon, huh?
Julia: I need some on my way.
Amanda: Wee.
Eric: Nice. Who else?
Brandon: Yeah. I also think I grew closer to the team for similar reasons, obvi. So I think I would give— only because Rowan failed the roll, I would give Craft influence over me.
Amanda: For sure.
Eric: I think that's a great reason.
Brandon: And I will also mark a potential because I want to level up.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: So I'm at four out of five there.
Eric: Let's go. Rowan, what about you?
Amanda: I, too, will make this a trifecta. I grew closer to the team. My teammates really showed up for me in a moment when I wasn't sure who was gonna have my back, but particularly, Craft really came through for Rowan in this episode.
Julia: Aw.
Eric: Nice. Well, Craft, you can shift Rowan's labels again.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Right now, I'm at zeros for everything except danger, which is plus three.
Julia: I'm gonna bring your danger down by one, and I'm gonna bring your savior up by one.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: Nice. All right. And then you can also clear condition or mark potential.
Amanda: Eric, I'm gonna mark potential because that's my fifth potential.
Eric: Whoa!
Julia: Yay!
Brandon: Yay!
Eric: Oh, nice. All right, we'll do the levels up in the next episode and then the start of the next arc. But wait, there's one more page of the comic book left?
Brandon: What?
Amanda: What?
Julia: Oh, let's flip it.
Amanda: What's on it?
Eric: After the students clear out in the garage, astral hands reach out of the ground and carry Harvey Withers back to his spot in front of the teachers' lounge. Students give him high five— try to give him high fives, he grunts and ignores them.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: He, like, tips his noir detective hat down, and you can see him scanning, like, the astral plane for anything going on around, like—
Eric (as Harvey): I gotta get someone to mow the soccer field.
Eric: There's something you notice, the final panel is looking at his chair from underneath. As you can see, something is stuck to the bottom of the chair. There is a spot of bright green ooze—
Julia: Fuck.
Eric: —that avoids being squished under the leg and kind of slurps up into the chair.
[theme]