KRAKATHOOM! Our super seniors have shop class… but it’s super shop class. What are they constructing down there? And will the follow the power tool rules or lose a finger… or five?
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
The only way you can listen to an exclusive oneshot is if you grab the limited-edition JTP VINYL now!!
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric: So I'm distributing a rubric that I'm going to use for the rest of this campaign to determine how well all of you are doing.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: It was on the syllabus, but none of you read it, so I'm distributing to you now. So it's on a scale of one to four. Four is exceeds expectations. Three is, what are expectations? Two are, I forgot the expectations and ones— one is, you're bad and I hate you.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Julia: I feel like I'm solidly always at a three, which is, what are expectations?
Amanda: And two is like, "Oh, I forgot."
Eric: "Oh, I didn't know. I wasn't paying attention."
Brandon: Now, if this is one of those things where only one of us can get a five or whatever, like the top score, I would like to apply for that top score, please. Thank you.
Julia: That's fair.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Brandon can have it.
Amanda: I prefer not to be ranked because I'm uncomfortable if I'm better than my peers, and also if I'm worse.
Julia: What if you're both better and worse? You could solidly take the three.
Amanda: Oh, that feels great. I feel safe. Yeah.
Julia: Great.
Amanda: I'm all for that.
Eric: I'm mixing in a "Gosh upon" situation, where each of you—
Julia: Oh.
Eric: —need to pay $1 a pull to see—
Julia: Oh.
Eric: —if you unlock the highest fifth tier, where you can unlock five.
Brandon: Oh, I'm into that. Yeah.
Amanda: I don't bet.
Eric: But, Amanda, what if it's like a shiny Pokemon in there, too?
Amanda: I'm in, take my money.
Eric: Amanda's a whale in regards to Pokemon Go and the Join the Party Rank Gosh upon.
Amanda: Dude, there's no amount of money I won't spend for a shiny Pokemon.
Julia: And that's why she gets comped the villas at the hotel.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Uh-huh. God, if only. I would have, like, the high roller suite at the Safari Zone. You know I would.
Julia: Yeah, dude.
Eric: Imagine the Bellagio at the Safari Zone.
Julia: Honestly, kind of cool.
Brandon: That'd be tight as fuck.
Amanda: Bobby Flay at the Bellagio, at the Safari Zone.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: But then he's cooking Kangaskhan and, like, that wouldn't be good.
Brandon: No, he's cooking the baby. It's fine.
Julia: Well, I—
Amanda: Brandon call it—
Eric: It's mother and child soup, Brandon.
Amanda: Shit. I was gonna say, we call it veal. You were right, Eric.
Eric: It's not kosher because you can't—
Brandon: You can’t call it veal.
Eric: —boil a Kangaskhan in its mother's milk.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: So the categories are nice to Eric, improv. I'm putting— I'm really sticking improv into only one category, so it doesn't get everywhere else. You got to contain it. Funny character voice, nice to Eric again, and then overall.
Julia: Gotcha.
Brandon: That's good. I will say that— I am today, I'm doing some method acting because Connor, in fiction, has a big, old cold, and—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: —so I'm just sort of doing that.
Julia: So you just licked a bunch of surfaces so that you also could have a cold?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Right, exactly. So if I could go ahead and get that five for that little piece of—
Amanda: You're right.
Brandon: Yeah, thank you, you’re right.
Julia: Funny character voice.
Brandon: Funny character voice.
Eric: If we can just acknowledge that the entire time we played this session, we can see the phlegm moving around Connor's body.
Julia: Gross.
Brandon: That's in me?
Eric: Hell yeah. Fan artists get on it.
Julia: I— now, that makes me think that it would be so easy, when Connor is sick, to diagnose what Connor is sick with, so—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Oh, you know, if he's a superhero and he like— I don't know how this works, but I assume, at some point, like, you know, you get stabbed somehow, and your liver bleeds. Like, you go to the hospital. It's like, "Well, his liver is bleeding. Clearly, we're good."
Julia: "We can see it."
Brandon: "We know what to do."
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: No one's got to scan you or anything.
Brandon: No scans.
Eric: This is the equivalent, I think, of when people are like, you know, coming out of college, really hard up for cash, and you, like, donate blood and stuff like that. Connor was like, "Yeah, medical students, look at me." And we really wanted the Xbox 3— 720, so I let medical students kind of just, like, see all that stuff.
Brandon: Honestly—
Julia: Yeah, you're one of those actors at the teaching hospital.
Eric: Exactly.
Amanda: Guys—
Brandon: I do kind of like that.
Amanda: —is Connor the demonstration body for the students who are not yet up for traditional patients, but have graduated from cadavers. And so they need a little bit of, like remedial, you know, anatomy here.
Eric: You can see everything, but this body goes "ouch."
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Yeah, I mean, I'm the— who needs a fucking slideshow presentation when you've got me for anatomy, you know?
Julia: It's true.
Amanda: Good deal.
Brandon: It works.
Eric: Connor, you could be— you're the most interesting nude illustration artist, too.
Amanda: I didn't know where that was going for a second, but you're right.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon" And so am I, me, Brandon.
Eric: I can see Brandon's phlegm just kind of coming out here, too. So hey, why don't I talk about the cover for this episode?
Julia: Yay.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: This episode is called Iced Out, Fired Up.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: And we are looking from the inside of the refrigerator in one of your dorms, so it's a little mini refrigerator.
Amanda: Cute.
Julia: Okay.
Eric: Up in the top right, the compressor is really, really covered in ice—
Brandon: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Eric: —but I think we're all looking out— we— it's like looking out from the refrigerator, we can see all of, like, your— all of your faces are kind of hunched down looking in there, and maybe you're reaching for something inside. Why don't you tell me one thing that's in this dorm refrigerator?
Amanda: I think Rowan has one of those eye masks filled with, like, little beans that you—
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: —can keep cool for soothing.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: I think it really helps her to kind of, like, meditate, you know, feel good.
Julia: I like that. Weed butter.
Eric: Of course.
Amanda: Now, Julia, is that for eating or for the bod?
Julia: That is— well, Amanda, great question. I was picturing it for baking purposes.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: But—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: —I also like the idea of, like, the CBD contact body butter.
Eric: I love immediately dorm refrigerator has two items that should not be eaten, or at least one that shouldn't be eaten, and one is like, "Eh, I guess so. Eh, that's fine."
Julia: Eh.
Eric: "Leave your heart up."
Brandon: Connor puts his packets of ramen in the fridge because he likes to eat them cold and dry.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Is Connor okay?
Eric: What a 17-year-old boy thing to do. Let's extremely go. I love it. There's also like a canister of film in there, for some reason.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Just to— add to even more not food in there. And there's Mountain Dew flavors that you can only imagine with your mind. That's the power of podcasting, folks. Just think of what the Mountain Dew flavor is, and that's what it is in there.
Julia: Can we go around and pitch a Mountain Dew concept real quick?
Eric: Ooh.
Amanda: Yep. Okay, here's mine, white grape.
Eric: Oh.
Amanda: You had white grape juice, now imagine the subtle flavor of white grape juice in Mountain Dew form with that slight carbonation. It's a subtle flavor, more subtle than the traditional Mountain Dew, but it still makes you feel like, I don't know, refined, maybe 22-year-old.
Eric: Now, only at Walmart, Mountain Dew nostalgia.
Julia: My thought was, "Purple power slide."
Eric: Oh, that's a good one.
Julia: I don’t know what that is.
Eric: That's good. It tastes purple.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Mine was just like, "Fuck me up blue."
Julia: Yeah. It is— it's like F*** me up blue.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Exactly.
Eric: The first thing that came to my head is that it's a collaboration with all of those current music artists that are just white guys with lots of face tattoos.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So it's like Post Malone and Jelly Roll and the two others who exist.
Julia: I need you to know— I'm sorry. I know this is a complete aside.
Eric: Please.
Julia: My mother-in-law recently told me that her ideal man is a cross between Jelly Roll and Post Malone, and I'm not joking. And she said this after church.
Brandon: After church.
Eric: Oh, my God.
Brandon: It's like the spirit has entered me, and now I must fuck Jelly Roll and Post Malone.
Eric: Can I— but, Julia, I think the thing that bothers me the most about the thing you're saying is that they're the same guy.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Jelly Roll is just bigger and taller.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Like, you can't say it's a cross between— it's like, hey, what if Post Malone was, like, 25% bigger—
Amanda: Eric, Eric, Eric
Eric: —instead of 50% bigger? Which is what Jelly Roll is.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: It's a Goldilocks situation.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: You have the little one, you have the big one, and what you need is the mama bear. Julia, are you sure your mother-in-law is not a lesbian?
Brandon: Oh, your mother-in-law might be a lesbian.
Julia: No, I'm pretty sure she's not. She listed three people, and she said,
Jelly Roll, Post Malone, and, you know, Blake Shelton. And I said, "Hold on."
Brandon: That's incredible.
Eric: All right. So take Jelly Roll and Post Malone.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Throw them into a washing machine.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric: Pour bleach all over them and—
Julia: Yep.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: She likes the tattoos. I don't understand.
Eric: Oh, God.
Julia: I don't get it.
Amanda: This is troubling.
Eric: Incredible. Hey, I heard, a little birdie told me, that two of my players has leveled up.
Julia: That's right, me.
Amanda: Yes, I did.
Brandon: Oh, the bird is right next to you. Get it, Eric, get it.
Julia: Get it, get it, get it.
Eric: Chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee. So, hey, what— let's do our first levels up here. Ordinarily, I would love to do this in-game, because I think it's gonna be more fluid, and maybe that's gonna happen to Connor in the future. We'll see what happens.
Brandon: You don't know me.
Eric: Well, let's see if you fail a roll. I guess you never fail a roll, Brandon.
Brandon: Never!
Eric: But since you guys got your potential at the end of the last session, let's start with that stuff. So you get XP, you get potential whenever you fail a roll or a move tells you so. And then you get five, you get a new level up. And there's a lot of different choices that each of you can do, so I'd love to hear what's going on.
Julia: Yeah. I'll go first. I took another move from the Scion playbook.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: I took a move called Changed Sides.
Amanda: Ooh.
Julia: When you mislead or trick an enemy by pretending to be on their side, roll plus danger.
Amanda: Hey.
Julia: On a hit, they buy your charade, for now. On a seven to nine, choose one. On a 10 plus, choose two. One, you avoid having to provide concrete evidence. Two, you create an opportunity. Three, you expose a weakness or flaw. On a miss, someone else watching comes to the worst possible conclusion.
Eric: Oh, hell yes. I love it when these moves have a hard move baked in for me immediately.
Julia: Uh-hmm. I do it for you, buddy. I do it for you.
Eric: Thank you. It's all of it for me. So here's my question for Craft, Craft has gotten into situations in just the first few episodes of this podcast—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —where she's like, "Nah, dog. I don't fuck with villains." So now, what is letting Craft open up to allow even being considered a double agent, which then invites being a triple agent?
Julia: I think it was the conversation with Obstructer Constructor.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: And this idea that we did kind of try to use the gamut of like, "We want to learn villain stuff from you."
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And I think Craft was like—
Julia (as Shelley Craft): Oh, that was, like, easier than I thought, and also, a lot of villains seem willing to listen to that.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): So, like, I could just lie to these assholes. That's an option.
Eric: That's so funny. That's what you got from him when he's like, "I hate the school because my wife's body is somewhere." And you're like, "Fuck that guy."
Julia: Well, that was different. That was later. I'm talking about the initial like, "Oh, we're here to learn from you." And then when he said his wife died, and we were like, "Do you want help?" And he said, "No." And we're like, "Oh, okay."
Eric: It's like, "Okay, I'm gonna escort you off premises."
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: That's funny. Amanda, what was Rowan and Voidie-Lynn up to?
Amanda: Well, this is what we were talking about a little bit, Eric, when we were coming up with the idea of Rowan having some layer to her character we haven't found yet. So one of my options when I level up is to take three more burn. So these are the— when I charge my powers, I get to do cool shit. What I have already is I have four of them worship, which, you know, I did to intimidate the crowd. Got a moat that I can make constructs making that, you know, constructed figure, like I tried to do, and then reality storm. So I'm gonna take three more flares under my burn.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Eric: So these are all just things you can do when you charge up your powers and do incredibly wild stuff?
Amanda: Yeah, I just do it.
Julia: Hell yeah, dog.
Amanda: So the three I chose, the first one is move. This is basically teleportation. So I can spend a burn to move any place I want within a scene, breaking through or slipping past any barriers or restraints in my way, and I can spend a second burn to move to any place I've previously been. So I really like the idea of Rowan kind of, like, stepping into the space-time continuum and stepping back out, you know, wherever she has to be in the scene.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Julia: That's sick as hell, bro.
Amanda: Next, I channel the full capacity of my incredible powers to overcome an obstacle in a flare called Overcharge.
Julia: Ooh.
Amanda: I reshape my environment, extend my senses, overcome an obstacle, whatever I want to do. I spend two burns, take a 10 plus when I unleash my powers.
Eric: You're just straight up like, "Hey, I'm not rolling for unleash my powers. Fuck you."
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Good.
Amanda: That's exactly right. And then the final one, I think, is where Voidie-Lynn comes into play. This is called Elemental Awareness. So I spend a burn and mark a condition to open my mind up to the world around me with my powers. I can ask any one question about the world around me, and the GM will answer honestly.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Sure. I will definitely try to do that within, like, the idea of gravity, and being able to speak to, like, the literal ions and atoms inside of things, and the gravitation, like strong and weak forces of the world.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Can Rowan explain, like, how you learned these new things? Because in my head, it's like in a video game where you learn new moves—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —there's always like stepping in almost to— into a tutorial zone where it's like, "Oh, yeah, just hit B up and now you can do this fiery uppercut." Like, did Voidie-Lynn, like, pull you into an extra dimensional zone? It's like, "Hey, you can do this."
Amanda: I think Voidie-Lynn has been hanging out with me in my dreams.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Oh, God.
Amanda: And, uh, normally, Rowan tries very hard to, you know, meditate. She got some prayers at nighttime. She's, like, getting ready just to, you know, be really calm and, like, go to sleep and rest. And Voidie-Lynn pops in like—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Hey, sugar, we're going to work through some new things right now. Okay?
Amanda: And just, you know, Rowan is like—
Amanda (as Rowan Miriam Rosen): I don't— I— I'm trying— I'm literally trying to sleep. This is the only time that I could be free of you.
Amanda: And Voidie-Lynn is like—
Amanda (as Voidie-Lynn): Not tonight.
Julia: Oh, no.
Amanda: So the last few nights, she's been popping in, taking me through some things, showing me new stuff. And Rowan is kind of like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Well, like, what's the harm, you know? And I guess if I can do this, then great.
Brandon: Has Rowan been, like, haggard and tired?
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: In the daytime?
Amanda: I think she probably looks rested, but is like mentally just kind of, like, zombie mode, shuffling through.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Aw, buddy.
Eric: I've been doing X, Y, X, X combos in my dreams all night.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Connor— hey, Connor, why won't you take care of yourself when you're sick? Why— what's he doing? Why is he pushing through?
Brandon: I mean, he's not really pushing through. I think Connor's a big, old fucking baby when he's sick.
Amanda: Aw.
Julia: Wow. A man who's a baby when he's sick? Shocking.
Amanda: Florals for spring? Groundbreaking.
Julia: Groundbreaking.
Brandon: I think he huddles up, watches Gilmore Girl reruns and eats a bunch of ice cream, you know?
Amanda: So this is the upswing of your sickness, maybe. You're mostly better but still got some lingering phlegm.
Brandon: Yeah. I mean, this has to be, like, a super virus, because he's got super powers, so—
Amanda: You're right.
Eric: Or maybe you're— since your organs are more exposed, you get sick more easy.
Brandon: They're not more exposed. They're just— you can see them more.
Amanda: You can see them.
Eric: Yeah. The bacteria can use their eyes and see where the vulnerabilities are.
Amanda: You know what be fucked up? Is you could probably see if there's, like, different things that are, like, swelling or, you know, stuff building up, or, like, you see your white blood cells, maybe, if you, you know, look under a microscope. And so you probably have the dread of knowing you're gonna get sick.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: Whereas the rest of us live in blissful ignorance until the symptoms emerge.
Eric: For— yeah. For sure.
Brandon: Yep.
Eric: Here's a follow-up question, how else has the legal department at Hero 4 Hire been bothering you while you're sick?
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Eric: Like, they know you're sitting there, you're in your room, you're in your bed. How else has legal department been bothering you?
Brandon: Well, it definitely started with buying a commercial on a local television station that was doing reruns of Gilmore Girls. So there was an ad that was like, "Is your name Connor, then you owe us, whatever— you might have mesothelioma. Please call blah, blah, blah."
Eric (as Jim Jarmussen): Hi I'm Jim—
Eric: It's all like— it's like— he, like, crackles in. It's like—
Eric (as Jim):Hi. I'm Jim Jarmussen, and I am a lawyer for anyone who's taken important information from large institutions that shouldn't be giving out that information. If that's you, Connor Lyons, please call this number and I will make you stand up to the law. It's not law, not law. Unchecked law.
Eric: Everyone's like, "oh, I, I do have mesothelioma. I might get money for that."
Julia: Wow.
Brandon: So Connor— like, anytime he sees that, he, like, hits the remote real quick to change the channel. But also then, you know, a little bit time goes by and he goes for— grab a tissue, and he grabs a tissue, and somehow there's a note on the tissue that says like, "You have to call Heroes 4 Hire, Connor Lyons."
Amanda: Oh, no.
Julia: Oh, no. That's bad.
Amanda: Your toilet paper squares.
Brandon: Yeah. It's just everywhere, man. It's at the bottom of my ice cream pint.
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: How did they do that?
Julia: How.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: Well, Connor, you better get up and at them, because you are all doing, as seniors are doing elective rotations right now.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: I feel like in the second half of the year— this happened when I was in senior year of high school, that, like, it was— there was an opportunity for you to, kind of, like, never go to class and still get credit with the various different things you could go do. It's like you did an internship and you got credits, but also, like, there's specializations. You could go to other high schools and, like, taught you how to, like, be a welder, or, like, learn accounting or something.
Brandon: Wow, must be nice.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: There's a lot of non-traditional ways for you to finish out your grad— your school year. And I think that that's similar to what happens at Water's Edge Academy, but they have the budget, so they can kind of do a lot of this stuff in-house. Especially if you're on internship in Lake Town City with heroes, we're going to teach you how to do some other specialized stuff in school. So in the first half of the year, there is an elective rotation where you kind of go through a bunch of different electives for, like, two three weeks at a time, and kind of get a survey of a skill that you might want to specialize in the second half of the year, and then going forward to kind of teach you how to do stuff.
Brandon: Tight.
Eric: We haven't done this explicitly, because I didn't want this to be like My Hero Academia. But, like, in My Hero Academia, there's like a hero track, but also like a support track, and just like I have superpowers in a regular person track. So I think—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —that— we— in our school that's achieved by the ranking system, almost, but there's— it's almost like you could— when you, like, major in high school, almost. I know there were some high schools that did that where you can, like, do that. I also took, like, four English classes in my senior year of high school, or, like, I got, like, four English credits because of the various stuff I was doing.
Brandon: Nerd.
Eric: So I'm thinking about something like that.
Brandon: Love it. That's exciting.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Very different to my senior year experience, which is, Amanda, which classes do you think Harvard will like the best? And the answer was Physics AB.
Julia: Hmm. I stopped taking science my senior year because I said, "Well, I don't need this."
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: Proud.
Brandon: And did Harvard like the Physics AB?
Amanda: No, Brandon.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: They did not.
Julia: No, no, no, no.
Eric: It didn't matter. You're all doing a rotation right now in shop class.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: Yay.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Shop class all the way in the sub, sub-basement of the school. It might take a little bit of time to get down there, but it's all worth it because, man, there's so many fun things to do down in shop class. It is, like, so dank and dark, but the, like, halogen lights are buzzing and keeping everything bright, reflecting off of the metal tables down there. And the entire— this, like, really, really big room covered in pegboards with all different types of tools and scan— and materials. Everything is labeled. Everything has, like, chalk outlines of where the power tools are supposed to go, but also, like—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —the magical gauntlets and the Necronomicon that's down there, you know?
Julia: Sure, classic.
Eric: There's also— in the back, there's a garage that opens up because I think it's also like auto body in there. Shop means anything and everything. Anything that has to do with, like, inanimate objects. We're looking forward to start out, there's inanimate objects you can work on down there. As the rotation fills out, your teacher, Mr. Box, is welcoming all of you in—
Eric (as Mr. Box): Students, take your seats. It is important for you not to be late so that we can do the full instruction, and I'll have plenty of time to give each of you individual instruction if you need said individual instruction. Now, to introduce myself, you might— my designated name is code name Icebox, but you can call me Mr. Box.
Eric: Mr. Box is a sentient refrigerator.
Brandon: Hell fucking yes, dude.
Amanda: Oh. Cool.
Brandon: Yeah, he is cool.
Eric: Here's the story of Mr. Box, Everpresent Power Incorporated, tried to put intelligence into a fridge to kindly get people to close the fridge more often.
Julia: Oh, my God.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Not, of course, to save energy, but because if you keep the fridge open, the light on the inside burns out faster. If it gets within the 13 month warranty—
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: —it's a problem for Everpresent Power.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Hmm. I was gonna say, wouldn't they want it to burn out sooner so that people had to buy replacements? But apparently, not.
Eric: It's the one thing held over from the 1950s when Everpresent Power was just a light bulb shack in the Lower East Side of New York.
Brandon: That's how they differentiated themselves, so you got free light bulb replacements for life.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Within third— yeah, within 13 months.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Now, it's the Boost Mobile.
Julia: It's good, Amanda, it's good.
Brandon: It was for life, now it was 13 months, you know?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, sure, sure, sure.
Julia: If it burns out before the 13-month warranty, then you got free replacements for life.
Eric: Well, Mr. Power always said, "If these light bulbs burn out before 13 months, I'll eat my hat." And now that's been turned into a 13-month warranty.
Julia: Is Mr. Power related to Rick Powers?
Eric: Don't worry about it. But here's the problem is when they put the intelligence into this particular model, it became sentient. And they spent so much time, they put so much care into trying to train this refrigerator to, you know, teach people. It was a natural fit to have Mr. Box come and teach at Water's Edge Academy.
Julia: I love that for him.
Amanda: You know, a lot of shop class is about proper safety and cleanup protocols, you know, keeping things clean and safe. So I really appreciate that he is a big sweetie pie who, ultimately, it's about putting things away in a temperature controlled environment.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Now, Eric, I do need to know, does he have cartoon arms and legs, or is he just a fridge and, like—
Amanda: Hmm, hmm.
Brandon: —when he talks, the door opens up, you know?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Or maybe the space between the freezer and the fridge part, like, smiles like a smile.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: I was thinking that it— no. No eyes, no mouth, no hands, no arms.
Amanda: All heart, all heart.
Eric: When Mr. Box talks, I think— each one of those fridges, it has like the protruding ice machine—
Julia: Oh.
Eric: —and the ice machine, like, rattles and turns and has the light turn on over there.
Julia: Interesting.
Brandon: That's fun.
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: Wow.
Brandon: So he doesn't— he can't, like, move of his own accord, necessarily? He doesn't have motor skills?
Eric: Oh, no, yeah, he can move.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: You know how you would move a refrigerator where you need to, like, waddle it from side to side?
Brandon: Yeah. He can waddle?
Julia: Kind of how they move the Easter Island heads?
Eric: Yeah, I— Julia, I was gonna say that, at some point, they put wheels on Mr. Box, but I more like the idea that he waddles.
Amanda: I got it.
Eric: Waddles from side to side.
Eric (as Mr. Box): So first, we're gonna do 60 minutes of safety tips, but don't worry, every five minutes, it'll be broken up by a game of I Spy.
Julia (as Craft): That's cool as hell.
Brandon (as Connor): I Spy?
Julia (as Craft): I love that.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor has an unfair advantage.
Brandon (as Connor): Hey.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, that is literally your power, so—
Eric (as Mr. Box): And whoever wins I Spy gets a cookie.
Julia (as Craft): Connor, you love cookies.
Brandon (as Connor): I want the cookie. I still fucking love cookies, man.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, how about let's play as a team and whoever wins will share the cookie?
Brandon (as Connor): No, you guys, you ratted me out. Fuck you, guys. I'm playing for myself.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, I can see a blood brain barrier.
Julia (as Craft): Got him.
Amanda (as Rowan): I didn't know the name of the thing, what comes out the back of the eye, so I was trying to say that, but I forgot.
Brandon (as Connor): It's the dangly bit.
Julia (as Craft): Is it the orbital nerve?
Amanda (as Rowan): Fucking nerds over here.
Julia (as Craft): I'm actually paying attention in biology now, so—
Eric (as Mr. Box): The first thing to do, when we're talking about safety, is to talk about all the important people who are within your workspace. So I think it's important for me to talk about my co-teacher down here in shop class. Everyone, please, please give a big hand for Mr. Sizzle.
Brandon (as Connor): Woo. Mr. Sizzle. Yay.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, what's going on? Well, I haven't gotten this much applause since they let me out of the fire room. That's wild.
Eric: So in the back, there's kind of a giant kiln, in the back. It's a multi-purpose kiln, it's for whatever you need something to get hot. You need something to come together. Imagine, you know, like a walk-in— in some pottery places, kilns are, like, a walk-in— almost like a walk-in closet.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: But I think you can, like, put anything in there, and it kind of gets hot and sets. And the inside of there is a hearth that is— you can see— almost like when you look inside of a pizza oven. You know, you kind of see both sides— you can see it inside of there.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And inside of there, you see, like, flames are dancing inside of it, because Mr. Sizzle is the fire spirit that is locked inside of the kiln.
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Mr. Sizzle is short for, "The Sizzle of Embers That Float out of Bonfires Only to Leave Holes in Your Light Sweater as You Sit on Chairs that You and your friends Dragged out onto the beach, an Annoying but Unmissable Pain Mixed with the Imperceptible Sadness that you Cannot Tame Fire, Only Coexist it and Hope it Doesn't Consume You and the Human trivialities that You Call a Life."
Julia: And you're gonna copy paste that to me so that I can transcribe that, right?
Eric: Oh, you guys weren't writing it down? I can send it to you.
Julia: I got up to the Sizzle of Embers That Float Out of Bonfires and then I stopped.
Eric: Sure, sure.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, you can't remember my whole name? Oh, I get no respect. I get no respect at all. Hey, so, you know, don't— you know, the main thing that's important is don't crowd too many things inside of the kiln. Yeah, don't do it because, you know, I can't take care of anything. I can't— and if you do a bad job, oh, it's not my problem. I don't get no respect. If you— you're putting me in here, you're turning up the dials like, oh, just turning it up.
Julia: I can't believe Harvey Dangerfield became a fire spirit. That's cool as hell. Good for him.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I get no respect.
Amanda: Rowan is leaning forward, eagerly listening to every word Mr. Sizzle says. This is incredible.
Julia (as Craft): Does he remind you of home? Is that why?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, but, like, the stories I hear from my— from my Zayde from, like, before, like— it's like he's from, like, the '50s or some shit.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Must be like a 100 years old.
Julia (as Craft): Maybe.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I got coals older than 100 years. Oh, kids, these days, they don't know. Oh, I get no respect.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Now, the most important thing that Mr. Sizzle won't say about themselves is don't give Mr. Sizzle too much energy. The kiln is used to bring all of your items together, but also, it can be used as an incinerator, if you ask. But I warn all of you, because Mr. Sizzle won't, do not use the incinerator too much in a short amount of time.
Julia (as Craft): What happens if we use the incinerator too much in a short amount of time?
Eric (as Mr. Box): I spy with my little eye something purple.
Brandon (as Connor): Found it.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): Is it the button on—
Brandon: Let's see, who's the NPC that's in our class, Eric?
Eric: That's a question for you, my man.
Brandon: Sally.
Amanda: Brandi Popsicle.
Brandon: Brandi Popsicle?
Eric: Brandi Popsicle?
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Ice powers?
Amanda: Pogo stick feet.
Eric: Oh, pogo stick— Brandi Popsicle, pogo stick feet?
Brandon: Does she have jokes on her sticks?
Amanda: Yep.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: On a gams.
Brandon (as Connor): Is it the, like, enamel pin that Brandi Popsicle has on?
Eric (as Mr. Box): No, good guess. Yes, Brandi Pop—
Brandon (as Connor): Fuck!
Eric (as Mr. Box): Yes, Brandi Popsicle.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Is it TeamCast?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Yes, it's TeamCast. Brandi, take a cookie. [makes bouncing noise]
Brandon (as Connor): That's atomic— hey, excuse me, that's atomic purple.
Amanda as (Rowan): That's a kind of purple. Connor, don't be a knock.
Eric (asTeamCast): I'm purple all over.
Eric: And TeamCast does a kick flip.
Amanda as (Rowan): Okay. No one needs to know that.
Julia: On what?
Eric: Just in general. Hey, Craft, who is someone in class who you always wanted to get— be friends with but never got the chance?
Julia: Oh, wow.
Eric: Now, we do have a list of all these really cool ones that you made up at some point.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: Give me a couple of the names that we did for that. I want to use one of them, at least.
Eric: Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. There was Mind Spike.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Old Variable was good. Thermite was good.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Counter Strike. You came up with Vesper, who has vibration powers because they're shaken, not stirred.
Julia: I like that. I want Vesper. I think Vesper is like a very fancy young woman who looks like she is constantly about to go to a gala or perhaps a casino, but a very fancy casino.
Eric: Was it Vesper because it was shaken, not stirred, like, James Bond? So she's always wearing like—
Julia: Oh, just like a great suit. She's always in a power suit, yeah.
Eric: Yeah. Like rich lesbian in a Hollywood suit— red carpet suit.
Julia: That's exactly it.
Amanda: Eric, you can say Cate Blanchett in Ocean's 8,
Eric: Yeah. Cate Blanchette, Tilda Swinton, right?
Julia: Yes. But—
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: —you know, 17.
Eric: 17. So, yeah, Vesper's in this class with you. In my head, Vesper— I said Tilda Swinton, so now I'm just like thinking about the palest young woman you've ever seen in your life with—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —slicked back almost white blonde— platinum blonde hair.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: The only, like, color in her face is, like, a tiny dash of a red mouth and, like, really, very, very green eyes.
Julia: Yes. Damn.
Eric: So, yeah, Vesper— hey, Vesper is in this class, too.
Julia as (Craft): That's cool as hell.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia as (Craft): I— Vesper's always been really cool. I think Vesper, like, gets underappreciated for how cool her powers are, and also her sick suits.
Eric: Yeah. I think you turn around and Vesper is sitting behind you at another table, and she just, like, imperceptibly nods at you. And she has a toothpick in her mouth that she, like, flips around in her mouth just with her tongue.
Julia: That's so hot. What the fuck? What the fuck, Eric?
Eric: You made up the character, dog. I don't know what to tell you.
Julia: I'm saying—
Eric: It's Masks, baby. It's not my fault.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It's your fault.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: About a— an edutainment hour later, Mr. Box says—
Eric (as Mr. Box): All right. The safety concerns are over. We're gonna go with your first project.
Julia as (Craft): Cool. I feel like my question earlier wasn't answered, like we kind of breezed by it and you tried to play I Spy with something purple. But I just want to clarify the question again. Incineration, what happens if we use it too much?
Eric: From the back, Mr. Sizzle says—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, don't worry. Hey, Mr. Box, you can tell him, it's fine. You already
disrespected me by making me inside of a walking kiln. Oh, it's fine. You can tell him.
Eric (as Mr. Box): All right, if you give me permission to do so. If you give Mr. Sizzle too many things to eat, Mr. Sizzle can break out of his bonds.
Julia as (Craft): Okay, so it's like a— he is trapped in there for, I'm assuming, a punishment of some kind?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, I'm not trapped. My ex-wife isn't in here. Oh, I get no respect.
Julia as (Craft): Oh, weird. Okay.
Eric (as Mr. Box): As long as there are no more questions, we're gonna go to our first assignment. Everyone is going to make a grappling hook.
Brandon (as Connor): What?
Julia as (Craft): Cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): Nice.
Brandon (as Connor): Cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): Cool.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Now, you can go over to the peg boards and get your grappling hook kit.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Julia as (Craft): Okay.
Eric: So here's how this assignment is going to work. In the back, you see that there are little kits for you to make your own grappling hook.
Julia: Sick as hell.
Brandon: I assume it's like a pinewood derby car kit thing.
Eric: Pretty— yeah, pretty much. You have to, like, rip open the clam shell to get in there, because inside is, like, the shooting mechanism, the rope, and the grapple.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: The reason why you're— this is a basic way for you to learn how to work in shop and to be able to put together items even when you— if you don't have any powers. So the thing with the grappling hook is that you have to wind the rope around the grapple and get it inside of the shooting mechanism itself. But the problem is it doesn't fit together unless you do it perfectly right. You then put it inside of the Mr. Sizzle kiln to make all of the metal kind of soften a little bit, to make it easier for everything to fit together. And tomorrow, each of you are going to use your grappling hook without powers to cross from the main campus over the gorge, to the dorms.
Brandon (as Connor): That seems dangerous.
Julia (as Craft): That seems— okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): High stakes.
Julia: I'm scared. That seems like so many things that can go wrong.
Brandon: Can I customize my grappling hook with, like, cool, like a—
Julia: Flames on the side?
Brandon: Well, I was gonna say a wolf howling at the moon.
Julia: Ooh. Like, if it's a wolf, like— if the grappling hook comes out of the wolf's mouth?
Brandon: Ooh, yeah.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Yo.
Eric (as Mr. Box): You can have extra time to do embellishments, as long as you make it across the gorge. It is dangerous, but here's a scenario. You're blasted with an ion negativity beam, which not only reverses your DNA, which takes away all of your powers, but now all the things you were good at, you're bad at, and all the things you're bad at, you're now good at. So now, you were able to speak Spanish, but you can, but now you're good at physics. You're all disoriented. The grappling hook doesn't change. That's why we do this.
Brandon (as Connor): Ah.
Eric (as Mr. Box): If you're in a scenario without your powers, you need to be able to protect yourself. And you might be working with people who don't have powers, and you need to have empathy with— you need to have empathy and sympathy for what they go through for— to work together as a team. Whether you're a full— whether you're a front hero, a secondary, a DPS or support.
Brandon (as Connor): Makes sense.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Mr. Box): I'll be here to help you with anything that you might need, but a lot of this should be guided through trial and error to make it work. There's plenty of items here for you to work on your grappling hook. You can test it out it outside on the range, and we'll— and— but make sure it's ready. Make sure that you have plenty of time to put it inside of the kiln and we will test it at the beginning of the period tomorrow.
Brandon (as Connor): Hell yeah. I mean—
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Brandon (as Connor): —that's cool. Let's do it.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Hell yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): What? A teacher can't curse.
Eric (as Mr. Box): That's not a curse. Hell doesn't exist.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, I get no respect.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody. It's Amanda. And this midroll is brought to you by wearing a sweatshirt on a beach on a windy summer day. It's Terry Cloth, so comfy. Thank you so much to our newest paying patron, Bit Giant, who helped us get within five people of our goal. If just five more of you join as paid patrons, we will play another One Shot from the character creation episodes we played out in the One Shot Derby. I want to do this so bad. It was so much fun. I loved releasing the video episode to all paying patrons. So by the way, if you've not imbibed and engaged in any of our video content, that's something you can just try out if you're paying patron at any level. So go on over to patreon.com/jointheparty and join us today. If you like Join the Party, I know you're going to love other shows that are part of the Multitude Podcast collective, including Pale Blue Pod, an astronomy podcast for people who are overwhelmed by the universe and maybe a little bit scared, but want to be its friend, where astrophysicist and certified cool person, Dr. Moiya McTier and a new guest each week demystify space with open eyes and arms, and also open mouths from so much like laughing and jaw dropping and being like, "Oh, my God, this is so amazing. Wow. I'm so lucky to be alive." Honestly, any podcast that can give you the feeling of, "Wow, I'm so lucky to be alive," is one that I want to listen to. So go on over into your podcast app that you're listening to me in right now, and put in Pale Blue Pod. New episodes drop every Monday. And hey, did you hear that Join the Party has a vinyl episode and you can buy that vinyl now? There are slightly fewer than 40 copies left, and once they're gone, they are going to be gone, folks. So go on over to jointhepartypod.com/merch to get your vinyl copy today. Now, listen, this is a beautiful, physical object. Going forward, we're only going to make merch that we think is lovely and deserves to live in your home for a long time. And hey, you should buy this vinyl. It is Chad Greene. It is neon, it is swirly. The middle of the vinyl has a little Chad face smiling, saying Side One and Side Two in bones. It couldn't be cuter. Listener, Kevin V. did an incredible job illustrating this, and we love it. I mean, it's gorgeous. I almost want to have two of them, so I can show both the front and the back at all times, because there are gorgeous comic book style illustrations of Vulcani and Kilonova and Multitool plus all their clones playing the marriage game. This is, in fact, the plot of the episode. Whether or not you have a record player, we want you to enjoy the episode. So if you buy the vinyl, you will get emails and mp3 of the episodes, you can listen to it, relisten to it, whatever you want, and also have the extremely cool experience of putting a vinyl on a record player and hearing our voices come out of it. It is so cool. I am so proud of it. Brandon worked so hard making the audio incredible. Eric did a great job making an episode that was exactly 42 minutes long so it fits on vinyl. And Julia, as always, just kills it at character stuff, always. Hearing her play Vulcani is something that I didn't realize how much I missed until we played this episode. So listen, if you want to hear the exclusive Campaign Two, marriage game of heroes plus clones, you gotta buy the vinyl, whether or not you have a record player, every purchase comes with an mp3 of the episode. So go on over to jointhepartypod.com/merch to get this limited edition, full color vinyl with special insert, full color jacket, Chad Greene disc. Oh, folks, you're gonna love it. jointhepartypod.com/merch. And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
Amanda: I like to imagine one of the students had like a VHS tape of Grease in their, like, back pocket of their backpack, and that's why this accent is happening.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: It's good stuff.
Brandon: Rodney Dangerfield is a cool fucking superhero name.
Eric: Yeah, it's true. Hell yeah, folks. All right, well, you got some time to work on your grappling hooks.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Where you all get— where you're all getting started?
Amanda: I stick around in shop class and use, like, the tables and—
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: —just spread it all out, and see what we're dealing with.
Julia: Yeah. I think, you know, using the stuff provided makes sense to me.
Brandon: Is there, like, a lathe?
Eric: Oh, you know there's a lathe.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: There's a lathe in the back and it got, like, recovered from a crypt. It's a scary lathe.
Brandon: It's a scary lathe?
Eric: A scary lathe.
Julia: I don't know what that is.
Brandon: A lathe is the, like— it's the machine where you put things in and they turn— and it turned the thing and you can do things on the turning thing.
Julia: Oh. Like, when you, like, attach, like, a wood thing, and then you can, like, carve it, you know, by—
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: Okay. Gotcha. Cool. It do a quick spin and make—
Brandon: It do quick spins.
Julia: —everything even.
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah. So I would go over to, like, the lathe and stick the, I guess, like rod that the rope would wrap around.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: And put on its slowest speed and just—
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: —really carefully try to get it to, like, super tight and clean, and really well wrapped.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: Wow.
Eric: I love that. You're being so careful, buddy.
Brandon: I'm so careful, because lathes are dangerous.
Eric: I hope you don't sneeze while you're lathing.
Brandon: I hope I don't, either, because I probably won't.
Julia: No. No, definitely not with your cold, either.
Brandon: No.
Amanda: I think Rowan is sitting back, just kind of looking at stuff, hanging out with Craft, and then looks up to see Connor using the lathe, and is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Don't you feel like a lathe is like a shish kebab, but it's all a nail file?
Julia (as Craft): Whoa.
Brandon (as Connor): What?
Amanda (as Rowan): You know?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Did I give you one of my cookies?
Amanda (as Rowan): Nah.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): Like a Halal car, but it's all a nail.
Brandon (as Connor): It's just kind of like a rotisserie—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Like a meat stick rotisserie, yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, it is doing a lot of the work for him, so that's not a terrible idea.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. I feel like one of us should just be kind of, like, by the book, like from the kit, and then we can compare it against, like, the one that Connor is working on, and, like, whatever you want to work on.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. So you want to do, like, by the kit kind of style?
Amanda (as Rowan): I think so. I don't have many more ideas. I'm good with the strap.
Amanda: And holds up her tattooed arm.
Amanda (as Rowan): But I think, I don't know, I'll just like do a good job.
Julia (as Craft): I did a lot of building robots when I was younger.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah?
Julia (as Craft): So I feel like I actually might be good at shop class—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —like inherently.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Cool.
Julia (as Craft): But I don't know, I guess, like, I'm just gonna try it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Can we put some, like, metal in there? Like, more?
Julia (as Craft): Can I put more metal in there? I mean, like, you could make it not a hemp rope, and do, like, a cool, like, metal weave rope instead.
Amanda (as Rowan): Cool.
Julia (as Craft): I might try that.
Amanda (as Rowan): Let's do it.
Julia (as Craft): Sick.
Brandon (as Connor): That sounds sick as hell.
Eric (as Vesper): Hemp rope, huh?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, that is usually what they make rope out of, yeah.
Eric (as Vesper): Even when it's unnecessary, you're always smuggling weed into everything, aren't you?
Eric: Standing over you, Vesper has just almost appeared standing over your table. Like, kind of just cocking their head in a way where it looks like they're not paying attention, but just their eyes— their actual eyes are the only thing that's looking over at you, even if their entire body isn't.
Julia: Okay. Craft is just like—
Julia (as Craft): So, like, what were you going to use, if not the hemp rope provided by the kit?
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, I don't know. I would use this as an opportunity to kind of, like, touch all the gauntlets in the back. See what all of them does. Maybe one will give me a good grade, I don't know. Shake him around. See what makes him tick.
Julia (as Craft): That seems cool.
Eric (as Vesper): You know, I almost didn't recognize you with, like, the drug rug. You were just— you were all collars and bows before.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, and then I've worn this pretty much exclusively for the past— over a year, but—
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, but then I— but every time I was like, "Oh, there's that— oh, is that Shelley Craft? No, that must be, I don't know, someone from a Dave Matthews concert who got lost on the way over here."
Julia (as Craft): Damn. Got me. I love a 20-minute sax solo, personally. So—
Eric (as Vesper): Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —love me some Dave Matthews.
Eric (as Vesper): I know. If a band did not lea— dump a bunch of poop on the Chicago River onto a cruise that was happening on the Chicago River and got hit with all that poop, I just can't enjoy it.
Julia (as Craft): I know, right? Damn. So I also think that it's funny that you notice the drug rug and not like the fact I cut off all my hair, but okay. Have fun with the gauntlet stuff. That seems cool. I think most of them probably do, like, power-up stuff, just based on—
Eric (as Vesper): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): —gauntlet technology.
Eric (as Vesper): Hmm, all right. Well, I might get lonely looking at the gauntlet, so I don't know.
Julia: Craft just, like, looks at Rowan and is like—
Julia (as Craft): What is happening?
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm not an expert, but I think this is flirting.
Julia (as Craft): What? Shit.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, don't drink seltzer in your bag for, like, 20 minutes.
Julia (as Craft): Is it because your presence shook it up and now it's gonna explode?
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, you got all shook up? Ooh, all right. All right.
Julia (as Craft): Fuck. Fuck.
Amanda: Rowan has, like, backed up 14 feet. She's like “I can’t”.
Julia: Craft looks at Rowan and is like—
Julia (as Craft): Where did everyone go? Fuck.
Amanda (as Rowan): There's a lot—
Julia (as Craft): I needed support.
Amanda (as Rowan): There's a lot happening right now.
Amanda: And Connor's like, "Doot, doot, lathe, lathe, lathe."
Julia: The lathe is in the back by the gauntlet, so Connor's probably gonna see Vesper meander over there at some point.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Amanda: As Vesper heads back, Rowan is gonna go back over to Craft and be like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Do we want to pretend to be checking in on what Connor's doing so you can kind of, like, suss out the situation back there?
Julia (as Craft): I feel like I'm frozen.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): I don't know what to do.
Amanda (as Rowan): Let's go.
Amanda: Rowan, like, wraps her arm around Craft's arm and is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Let's just go check him, make sure he's okay.
Julia: Rowan has to, like, float Craft over there.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, okay, we're gonna— okay, okay.
Amanda: We'll go up.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor?
Brandon: As you walk over, you hear Connor go—
Brandon (as Connor): Ow, shit. Ow, shit.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, be careful.
Julia (as Craft): Aw, buddy.
Brandon (as Connor): Ow, shit.
Julia (as Craft): What are you doing? Stop doing it if it hurts.
Brandon (as Connor): This rope burns.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): Put gloves on.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Connor, don't—
Eric: Mr. Box says from the other side of the room.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Connor, this is a learn by doing lesson. Don't hold on to the rope while it's lathing, but you're doing— but experience is the best teacher more than me. Mr. Box.
Brandon (as Connor): No one's a better teacher than you, Mr. Box.
Eric (as Mr. Box): No, exp— it goes experience, then Mr. Box, and then Einstein.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, wow.
Julia (as Craft): Fair. Connor, maybe put some gloves on.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. You know, safe— safety first.
Brandon (as Connor): Ow, shit.
Julia (as Craft): Okay, stop.
Julia: Craft turns off the thing.
Julia (as Craft): Stop, gloves, put it back on.
Eric (as Robespierre Guillotine): Oh, oh, oh. Viva la revoluciones.
Eric: In the back, one of the students has touched the Robespierre guillotine that's used as a paper cutter, and it just cut off their hands.
Julia (as Craft): Uh-oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh—
Brandon (as Connor): Uh—
Eric (as Mr. Box): It's all right, stu— it's all—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, you don't get a hand. Sounds like me, doing a wedding toast. Oh, I get no respect.
Julia: Jeez.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Don't worry, students, there's protocol for all of this. I'll just grab the hand and put it in the emergency chest freezer. I'm going to the nurse. Mr. Sizzle, you're in charge.
Julia (as Craft): That seems like a bad idea.
Eric (as Mr. Box): They're the co-teacher. It's on the syllabus.
Eric: Mr. Box waddles over, picks up the hand, opens up their freezer, throws the hand in, and leads the student, like with their fridge door open, trying to console them.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: But also, like, waddling over. It's like—
Eric (as Mr. Box): We're going to the nurse. Well, this will be fixed in three seconds of a GIF.
Brandon (as Connor): Three seconds of a GIF?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Three seconds of a GIF.
Brandon (as Connor): Wow.
Julia (as Craft): Is it GIF or GIF?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Keep it elevated.
Brandon: And that part, kids just screaming their head off.
Julia (as Craft): We need more healers just to be on call for shop class, I think.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Eric (as Mr. Box): So Mr. Sizzle is in charge. All right, I gotta take care of this.
Eric: And Mr. Box waddles out of the room.
Julia: What could possibly go wrong?
Eric: Probably nothing.
Brandon: Probably nothing.
Julia: Probably nothing.
Eric: There's a moment where all of the students kind of look at each other and, like, a third of the students leave.
Julia: Yep.
Eric: And then a third of the students are like—
Eric (as student): I have a question. I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Siz— and I'm gonna go ask Mr. Sizzle. Mr. Sizzle, can you help me with my project?
Eric (Mr. Sizzle): Hey, make a line. Oh, you can't have all of me all at the same time. Oh, hey. I get no respect.
Eric: Everyone kind of gets up at once, and then everyone is moving in all directions.
Julia: I can't believe the hold that this sentient refrigerator had on all of us.
Damn.
Amanda (as Rowan): Just like something about his shape makes me not want to disappoint him.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): He just seems so positive that, like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): —I can't imagine him feeling negatively about me.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): He's ne— despite his whole thing, he's never cold to us.
Julia (as Craft): Wow.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh.
Eric: Wow.
Julia (as Craft): Wow.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's so true.
Brandon (as Connor): Wow.
Julia (as Craft): I guess that's why they call him Mr. Box and not Mr. Ice, you know?
Brandon (as Connor): That's true.
Amanda (as Rowan): Hmm. So I'm scared that people are gonna incinerate, like, bad grades or maybe memories of like people who have scorned them romantically and stuff. And so, therefore, I think that maybe we should keep an eye on what's happening with the hearth.
Julia (as Craft): Can Mr. Sizzle incinerate literally anything? Because that's crazy.
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, that's kind of like what I'm assuming, but I don't know. I've been trying to distract Craft, Connor from the fact that Vesper is really flirting with her really hard and it made her really uncomfortable.
Eric: Connor, you look up, and in the back, there's just, like a bunch of gauntlets that are up on a pegboard and each of them are just getting, like, rattled.
Brandon (as Connor): Did you say that he could potentially incinerate anything?
Amanda (as Rowan): I'm just making a guess, but that's kind of, like, my assumption.
Eric: Yeah. Probably, yeah. I'm sure people say that, for sure.
Julia: Wow.
Eric: That's definitely a rumor that people know about. You go to— if you get the rotation into shop class or you sneak down there, Mr. Sizzle will probably— will destroy anything for you.
Brandon (as Connor): I have a question for Mr. Sizzle. Y'all stay here, try to figure out the gauntlets.
Julia (as Craft): I—
Brandon (as Connor): My rope burn— maybe he can anti-burn. I'm gonna go ask about anti-burns.
Brandon: And Connor shuffles away.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, he's fire, so probably— okay, he's gone.
Julia: Can he burn you so good that it undoes the burn? Who can say?
Brandon: Who can say?
Amanda: That'd be great.
Eric: Connor, there's a group of students around Mr. Sizzle right now, and they all seem to be trying to vie for the fire spirit's attention. What do you do?
Brandon: Politely Wait.
Julia: You're so big. You could just push right past them.
Amanda (as Rowan): Mr. Sizzle, Connor has a question.
Brandon (as Connor): I'll wait. Don't worry about it.
Amanda (as Rowan): No, he won't.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, what is this? A deposition for a murder that I didn't do but I'm being targeted for? I didn't switch the samples. I didn't kiss— I didn't kill my wife. Oh.
Julia: I didn't kiss or kill my wife.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I didn't kiss or kill my wife. Oh, I get no respect.
Eric: Yeah. Even Connor, you can patiently wait. Everyone kind of looks around at each other and it's like— there's, like, five of you, I think, kind of grouped up, and everyone's kind of looking and be like—
Eric (as student): Oh, I was just standing here. I don't know what you're doing here, and I'm just gonna go.
Eric: And then all the students around kind of just, like, try to surreptitiously walk away.
Brandon: Yeah, 'cause they know that Connor is the goody two shoes.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Oh, fuck. Oh, God, fucking narcs here. I'm gonna go.
Brandon: Connor's gonna walk up to Mr. Sizzle and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, Mr. Sizzle.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, I can see your insides. What—
Brandon (as Connor): I can see your insides, too. You're fire.
Julia: Damn. Called out.
Amanda: So true.
Julia: You tell that teacher.
Brandon (as Connor): I can literally be inside of you, in your kiln.
Julia: Got him.
Amanda: True.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, we're just flipping things back on our teachers. Oh, I get no respect. What can I do for you, liver?
Julia: Connor's new code name. Connor's new code name.
Brandon (as Connor): Eyes up here, I'm up here, I'm up here, I'm up here. Thank you. Thank you. I heard that you could maybe make things go away forever, permanently?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, yeah, that's what people say.
Brandon (as Connor): Is it true?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, it depends what you believe. If you believe everything on the street, you'd also think that— I don't know. There's an ex-wife joke in here. Figure it out yourself. I can't do all the work.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. So if I gave you an envelope, would you be able to burn it without looking inside or asking what it is?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Ooh. Probably. I don't do it in front of the other students, though. This is a private envelope. You should come back later and maybe, you know, bring something you think I'd like, too. I'm hungry, give me a big sandwich. Maybe something on rye, but seedless.
Brandon (as Connor): You want it toasted or not toasted? Or do you toast it?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, not toasted. What—
Julia: He's gonna toast it himself.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, I'm gonna walk away now, but thank you. I'll come back with a untoasted sandwich on rye, seedless.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Come back tonight when no one else is around.
Brandon (as Connor): Don't say that like that.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Ooh, come back tonight when no one else is around.
Brandon (as Connor): Don't say that like that.
Julia: Even worse somehow.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Ooh, just like— oh I sounded like Mae West there for a second, which is inappropriate, because I'm a teacher. Oh, I get no respect. Don't report me. You can't. I'm already trapped here, magically. Ooh.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, bye.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): You can report me if you want, but they'll just be like, "Oh, the fire spirit is already trapped here. He's gonna be more trapped."
Julia: Maybe they would stop him from being a co-teacher if we reported him. Have we considered that? He would not have to interact with children anymore.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Ooh.
Brandon: Connor was already back to the lathe halfway through that last thing he said, so.
Julia: Monologue, yeah.
Amanda: Rowan was trying to build her grappling hook kit while, like, sitting near the lathe, but now is just like watching, mouth kind of half open. Like, "Is this really happening? This is crazy."
Eric: Hey, Rowan, can you make a roll plus mundane really quickly as you try to—
Amanda: Oh.
Eric: —put together your grappling hook kit by yourself?
Amanda: Yeah, let's do it.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: That's an eight plus zero for an eight.
Julia: Oh, cool.
Brandon: That's an eight.
Eric: For an eight. You know, Rowan, you're using your hands.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You're using a hands to do this.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Why are you using your hands to manipulate how all these parts fit together? You know how you fit parts together? You can just slot the atoms together nicely and kindly. And because you got an eight, I'll give you a plus one if you unleash your powers to just get this done for you as quickly as possible. Because it was a mixed success, you got to do it right now.
Amanda: Okay. Rowan is over her left shoulder— over her right shoulder. Everybody's preoccupied. There's two kids trying to, like, light a clove cigarette out the garage door.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Connor's engaged in this situation.
Brandon (as Connor): Ow, ooh. Ow, ooh.
Julia (as Craft): Gloves.
Amanda: And Rowan sets all the parts down, puts her hands flat on the table top, closes her eyes, and let's do it.
Eric: All right, let's do an Unleash Your Powers roll here. I'll give you plus one. What do you use to unleash your powers?
Amanda: Great question.
Eric: Roll plus freak, please.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: All right. So my freak is zero, but I'm adding plus one. I rolled a six on the dice, so that's six plus one for a seven.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: We got there, we got there.
Eric: So that is a hit. So you do it, you can unleash your powers here. You're reshaping your environment, means that you are able to very quickly and easily put the grappling hook together using your gravity powers. Can you explain to me how you do that?
Amanda: I think that Rowan compresses gravity on the rope to make it denser so that she can easily coil it up in the inner part of the hook mechanism and then it'll expand back to the size that it should be, like a vacuum sealed—
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Amanda: —bag of— a blanket, you know?
Eric: For sure.
Brandon: Oh, I was gonna say, like one of those can of beans, where you open the—
Julia: Oh.
Brandon: —can and there's— the snakes pop out?
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: The real thing I was thinking about, Brandon, is when you make, like, a worm out of your straw wrapper and get it wet.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I don't know why this is what came to mind, but that's it. And so you just see the rope, like, shrinking in diameter and then coiling itself very neatly inside the hook.
Eric: Because you rolled a seven to nine, you can either mark a condition or the GM will tell you how the effect is unstable or temporary.
Amanda: I get to choose?
Eric: Yeah, you can choose.
Amanda: I would like to mark a condition. I think this felt so easy that Rowan is now guilty.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Which gives me a minus two to provoke someone or assess the situation.
Brandon: Classic Rowan.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Classic Rowan, always trying to assess the situation.
Amanda: But, I mean, I think in, like, 30 seconds, she has a fully assembled grappling hook, and is looking like, again, looking around like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, is that—
Julia: Craft turns around and says—
Julia (as Craft): Whoa.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): That was so fast.
Amanda (as Rowan): I know, right?
Amanda: And she looks a little sick.
Brandon (as Connor): Craft, Rowan didn't use gloves.
Julia (as Craft): But Rowan wasn't using the lathe.
Brandon (as Connor): Shit! Ow.
Julia (as Craft): Stop.
Eric: All right. Well, does anyone else want to do anything? Because we can kind of, like, hit the F button and kind of go to the end of class.
Julia: Yeah, I want to find some of the metal rope, basically, and try to do it myself.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Craft as a— you know, the child of a technologist, a machinist, if you would.
Eric: Oh, sure.
Julia: Probably grew up putting together a lot of silly gadgets like this. And so it would be like—
Julia (as Craft): Well, I mean, rope is good, but like, a, you know, metal cable would be more supportive of—
Eric: Hmm.
Julia (as Craft): —like someone as big as Connor, for example.
Eric: Oh, smart. Hey, why don't you roll— why don't you assess the situation?
Julia: That's what I was hoping you would ask for.
Eric: When we're doing moves— because it's like you kind of need to justify doing moves in Masks. So it's like because Craft is like, "Oh, I want to look—" I know what to look for.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: You're not rolling for perception, so that I tell you what's in the room. It's like— it's not— it's the opposite of you don't know what you don't know. You know exactly what to look for, so let's tell you what's going on.
Julia: Cool. [dice roll] I rolled a 10 plus zero.
Brandon: Hey.
Eric: Yo. Let's extremely go.
Amanda: Huge.
Eric: So wonderful. When you roll to assess the situation, you roll plus superior. On 10 plus, you get to ask two. Here's the thing, why it's relevant. You get plus one when you act on these answers.
Julia: Hell yeah.
Eric: So I think that'll— that might help you in the future.
Julia: So I'm gonna ask, what here can I use to make the best version of this grappling hook?
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And the second one I'm going to ask is, how could we best end this quickly? So how can I build this quickly and how can I build it the best way that it is?
Eric: I think you can root around over in the garage. I'm sure that that's where they keep a lot of the, like, scrap metal.
Julia: Right.
Eric: So if you want— if you can kind of render your own metal rope, if you want, by—
Julia: Cool.
Eric: —putting it through— melting it, putting through the extruder, putting it through a threader, and giving you exactly the thing that you're looking for.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: If you kind of just go back there and you can kind of pick some stuff up.
Brandon: That's some impressive metal work.
Julia: When your dad's constantly making drones, you know how to work some metal.
Eric: How can we can best end this quickly? Probably if you ignored everyone else doing whatever the fuck they're doing around you.
Julia: Cool. I like that. I'm gonna do that.
Eric: Because I think that is your root— you go over to the garage and you're rooting around in the box of scrap. There's like a— what looks like a car bumper in there, and it vibrates to the tune of Funky Town. Like, it— like Funky Town is your vibrating ringtone.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Now, Brandon, have you heard of this song?
Brandon: Yes.
Julia: Oh, okay.
Eric: [buzzes]
Amanda: That's beautifully rendered.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, okay.
Julia: And then Craft just digs further, ignores the smell of clove cigarettes, keeps digging.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, you have a text tone just for me, and you're not even picking up.
Julia (as Craft): I literally have never sent that text tone ever. Also, how did you get my phone number?
Eric (as Vesper): You put the car bumper on silent? Wow.
Eric: Vesper is now just, like, sitting on like a—
Julia (as Craft): What's happening?
Eric: There's like an anime— there's a '90s anime-looking motorcycle in there, and Vesper is just, like, leaning against it.
Julia (as Craft): I— okay. I— this is gonna seem like really abrupt and really straightforward, but you haven't spoken to me in three full years of school. Why are you talking to me right now?
Eric (as Vesper): And you haven't spoken to me in, like, two and a half years of school.
Julia (as Craft): You're very intimidatingly hot.
Amanda: May we all get that said to us at some point in our lives?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, that's one of my things, and you're tall.
Julia (as Craft): I am tall. That is true.
Eric (as Vesper): If we're just naming things, I guess I'm just naming things.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Vesper): Sure. Hey, you want to get out of here?
Julia (as Craft): No, I want to finish this project.
Eric: [buzzes] Vesper also, like, raises her hand up and, like, vibrates a shelf that has, like, a bunch of gems on it, and just vibrates it. And one of the gems, like, falls off and hits the garage door opener, which then opens up the garage door, and it just kind of like— and then there's just kind of like a back roads that leads out into nowhere, be like—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Vesper): Hey, I know a different way to get out of campus.
Julia (as Craft): That's very cool and very tempting. At another time, totally would be into that. Gotta make a grappling hook, though. Like—
Brandon: Now, you did also say that this shop was in the sub, sub-basement, so this is, like a ramp up?
Julia: Yeah, it's a ramp up, like in a parking garage at a mall.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a secret ramp that goes—
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: —out there. Yeah, you're right.
Amanda: Or the Bat Cave.
Julia: Or the Bat Cave.
Eric: Brandon, thanks for keeping this, really cool.
Brandon: Well, I was also gonna ask if this was on the west side and you also had the circuit breaker, but that would be less relevant.
Eric: All right. All right, Blueprints, let's keep it together.
Julia: That would be a super cool superhero name, by the way, Blueprints.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: And it's someone who, like, always knows the layout of a building before they go in.
Eric: Oh, I'm gonna keep that.
Amanda: Oh.
Julia: Take that.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: It's all yours, buddy.
Eric: Oh, that's good stuff.
Eric (as Vesper): All right. I thought you were— I thought ditching the collar and the bows made you cool now, but—
Julia (as Craft): I'm still extremely cool. But you know what else is cool? Grappling hooks.
Brandon: I thought you were gonna say good grades, you fucking nerd.
Amanda: Me, too.
Julia: I simply can't go that uncool that quickly. I simply can't. But a grappling hook is cool.
Eric (as Vesper): Hey, Shelley Craft, no, it's not.
Eric: And I want to shift your labels.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: I want to shift your superior up and your danger down.
Julia: Superior up and danger down. I'll take that.
Eric: All right.
Julia: Normally, I would deny that, but I want a high superior. I'm cool as fuck.
Eric (as Vesper): All right.
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Eric (as Vesper): Catch you on the flippity-flop.[buzzes]
Eric: Vesper peels out on this motorcycle she just found out there. It's not even her motorcycle, and she drove it so sick.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: Dang.
Brandon: Dang.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia (as Craft): It's really hot. Why is this hot person flirting with me so much?
Julia: At some point, I want to pierce the mask and see why this hot person is flirting with me so much.
Brandon: Oh, we know you want to pierce the mask, Julia. Oh, we know.
Eric: You could do it before they drive away, yeah.
Julia: Before she drives away? Yeah, I'd like to do that.
Eric: Oh, no, sure. That's— yeah, before they peel out, let's see if we can pierce the mask.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Brandon, that was a great joke. I just couldn't over talk Eric to compliment you.
Eric: All right, pierce the mask. To see with the person beneath, roll plus mundane.
Julia: [dice roll] It's a six plus two for an eight.
Eric: An eight? All right, that's a hit. On a seven to nine, ask one question from the pierce the mask list of questions. What are you really planning? What do you want me to do? What do you intend to do? How could I get your character to blank? How can I gain influence over you?
Julia: What are you really planning?
Brandon: What are you really planning?
Amanda: "Yeah. I get no respect."
Julia: What's your motivation?
Eric: I think it's the drive away, it hits you. It's more fun to break the rules when you have somebody else.
Julia: Oh, that's kind of sad.
Eric: I hope you didn't miss your chance to do that again.
Julia: Well, I guess we'll find out.
Eric: [sings Moving Out by Billy Joel] I'm moving out.
Brandon: [sings We Like to Party by Vengaboys]
Eric: All right.
Brandon: [sings We Like to Party by Vengaboys]
Julia: That's also— Funky Town is the least cool song she could have picked up her— for the personalized buzz tone, like damn.
Eric: You know, Sky— Live or Let Die or Skyfall would not have read as well.
Julia: Yeah, fair.
Eric: So I had to do Funky Town.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: She got Jack White to do Funky Town. Huge.
Eric: Let's jump to the end of class. I think Mr. Box comes back and is like—
Eric (as Mr. Box): I should have known this would happen, but I have to let students be students.
Julia: Fair.
Eric (as Mr. Box): As long as they did their projects, that's— that works.
Amanda (as Rowan): I have a question.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Rowan.
Amanda (as Rowan): Did that kid keep his hand?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Indubitably.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon (as Connor): I think that's against HIPAA, Mr. Box.
Eric (as Mr. Box): I'm just trying to reassure you. I didn't give up anyone's important information.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): You know HIPAA? The guy in the admin office who keeps all the rules together?
Eric: Doctor—
Julia: Yeah. He's Dr. Hipaa.
Eric: Dr. Hipaa.
Amanda (as Rowan): I was wondering if I could use maybe the practice field to test my hook, I made it.
Amanda: And Rowan holds hers up.
Julia (as Craft): I want to try mine too, actually.
Brandon (as Connor): Me, too.
Eric: I think you all got plenty— yeah. You got all— got plenty of time to try your hooks, I think, if you all stayed in class. It took Mr. Box a while. You tested it. It seemed pretty good. And the last thing is—
Eric (as Mr. Box): You can put it in the kiln so that Mr. Sizzle can set all the pieces.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Eric (as Mr. Box): And I'll see you tomorrow. Have a educational, but fun and safe day.
Brandon: I love Mr. Box. He's my favorite.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you.
Julia: I never want to disappoint him.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Also, turn your lights off when you're not in the room.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, that's good advice.
Julia (as Craft): That's a good point, Mr. Box.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Just a good—just a tip from me to you.
Brandon (as Connor): I love it.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): I got some like dad stuff going on. Would you maybe be, like, my dad here?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, everyone— no one ever asked me for dad stuff. That always cost $50 extra. Oh.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I get no respect.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): Can someone put my hook in the room for me? I don't want to go in there.
Julia: Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): I'll get it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you.
Amanda: Rowan is gonna actually walk to, like, toward the door of the classroom, not go out, but kind of hang out over there.
Brandon: Is there like an anonymous like, how are we doing box, suggestion box?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. All right, let's hit the skip scene button and let's go to later that night. Any—
Julia: B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B.
Brandon: B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B.
Eric: B, B, B, B, B, B.
Amanda: B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B. Down. Oh, I have sunglasses on now.
Brandon: Oh, shit.
Amanda: Spyro's pink and on a skateboard.
Eric: 360, no scope.
Julia: His head's so big.
Amanda: His head's so big.
Eric: 360 christ air. You guys put on big head mode.
Amanda: We did.
Brandon: Yeah, big head mode.
Eric: All right. Well, it's later that day. I think the only thing— if you— if anyone doesn't want to do anything, we'll just skip ahead to the next class. Does anyone want to do anything? I know Connor does.
Amanda: I think Rowan's gonna go for some more therapy.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Julia (as Craft): That's a good idea.
Amanda: Some counseling.
Julia (as Craft): Craft also has to do some more therapy, but we'll do that down the line.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): It's all good.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia (as Craft): You do your therapy first. You have a weird void talking to you. I just have daddy issues.
Amanda (as Rowan): Who doesn't? You know?
Eric: "I'm moving out." Sure. Let's— I think that you can all figure out what you're doing tonight, but let's— I think Connor needs some afterhours tutoring, huh?
Brandon: Yes. Connor is going to, as stealthily as you can, or not as stealthily, but more like casually, you know?
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: He's got, like, a jacket that he's flipped over his shoulder and he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): I'm walking down the hall, guys. Ay, just walking down the hall.
Julia: Ay.
Eric: While you everyone can see the white blood cells coagulate in various parts of your body.
Brandon: And you can, like, see the sweat on his brow because the skin is translucent, so it's easier to see.
Eric: Sure. Yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: But yeah, he's gonna take a quick to, like, look left, look right, and then take a quick dive into the shop class and go up to Mr. Sizzle and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Hey.
Eric: Without Mr. Box's kind of innate light inside of him, both metaphorically and really, it is dark.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: It is very dark inside of the shop class of—
Julia: Metaphorically and physically?
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Brandon: That's fine.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: Because I got perfect, amazing vision, so you know? That includes—
Julia: Does that include night vision?
Brandon: Yeah. It includes, like, your— you get a bunch of light, you know? In your corneas and whatever.
Eric: But you are drawn in by the hearth of Mr. Sizzle, still stewing in the back of the kiln. Slowly cooking all of the grappling hooks that are sitting like little, I don't know, Batman-esque cloves of bread.
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, Mr. Sizzle, you awake?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, Mr. Sizzle was my father. Call me—
Brandon (as Connor): I'm not gonna call you your full name.
Julia: The Sizz.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Call me— yeah, call me the Sizz.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. I'm gonna call you Mr. Sizzle, if that's okay.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): All right, it's up to you.
Brandon (as Connor): I brought you this sandwich. I kind of— I did make it myself, but I bought all of the ingredients from, like, a deli, so it's pretty good. But I can't vouch for the construction of the sandwich, but they did only have seeded rye, is that okay?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, I mean, it's a little anti-semitic, so we'll just— it will just pop them by flames.
Brandon (as Connor): The Jewish deli down the street is anti-semitic?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): The Jewish— you didn't go to the Jewish deli. The Jewish deli doesn't have seeded rye.
Brandon (as Connor): No, I did go the Jewish deli. They said they were out of the seedless rye, and they could only get the anti-semitic seeded rye.
Julia: Fair enough.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, you got pranks.
Brandon: They just give the seated ride to the gentile.
Eric: Yeah, a 100%.
Julia: Yeah. Can confirm. That's how they do it on Long Island.
Amanda: That's a conspiracy theory. That's true.
Eric: That's what the Jews do control. It's the rye.
Brandon: Seeds supply?
Amanda: Caraway seed distribution.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): But yeah, here's your sandwich. Do you want me to put it, like, in the hearth, or—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, hey, slide it in.
Brandon: Connor takes a dowel from off the wall that's like— 18-inch dowel and just, like, uses it to poke— slowly poke the sandwich in there.
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: I love that, yeah.
Amanda: Like, proper technique for a circular saw. Like, you use something else to push the wood forward.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Smart.
Eric: Like, I think the flames move around almost like hands, and it gives you a chance to really see all the way inside of the kiln. And there is just like a single, white, hot spot in the back.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Oh, like the heart of the flame, the interior of the bonfire, like the center that is Mr. Sizzle. And then the flames pull the sandwich in, and the flames, you know, burst out for a second and then settle.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hmm.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, oh, I haven't eaten like this since I made that turkey sandwich that I ate over the sink. Thank you, young man.
Brandon (as Connor): Did you eat the paper? Sorry, I forgot to take it off.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): It's rough.
Brandon (as Connor): Does fire need fiber?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, I don't have any organs. The roughage is better for me.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. So—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I talked to my doctor, and I said, "Doctor, do I have too much roughage in my diet?" He'd be like, "Roughage? The only thing that's roughage is your face." Oh, I get no respect.
Julia (as Craft): Damn.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, so now that I gave you a sandwich—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): And then the doctor said, "Pagliacci was in town." And I said—
Brandon (as Connor): So now that I've given you a sandwich, can I give you a package of stuff that you will not open, that you will destroy for me?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Ooh, I'll definitely— I— I'll definitely destroy that for you.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, thank you.
Brandon: And Connor's gonna pull out a Manila envelope full of all of the legal notices that he's got from Heroes 4 Hire.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: That he's going to, forever and ever in eternity, destroy in this fire, this eternal flame, and he's gonna use like— he's gonna grab one of those grabbers from the wall, but it's like a dinosaur head.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Of course, naturally.
Brandon: And he's gonna take it and it—
Julia: T-Rex or—
Eric: It's actually made out of a dinosaur skull.
Brandon: Oh, that's fucked up.
Julia: So not a T-Rex?
Eric: No, it's not— sorry. No, it's not a T-Rex.
Brandon: It's a little raptor.
Eric: Raptor.
Brandon: And he said that— it's a little bird, Eric.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: He's gonna put them in the Manila envelope, in the kiln, and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Okay, do your thing, please.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, you know, everyone knows that my thing is consuming things, and that's what I'm gonna do.
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Hmm. Now, can you bring me a Diet Dr. Brown for me to wash all this down with?
Brandon (as Connor): No, I'm gonna leave now. Thank you.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, doesn't even give me a drink. Gonna charge me $2 extra. I get no respect.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, maybe next time.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Make sure that grappling hook over there on the left, two from the top, make sure that one's really good, please. That one's a mine.
Amanda: Is that really yours that you're pointing at?
Brandon: Yeah. I was thinking about sabotaging someone else's, but I don't think Connor would do that.
Amanda: I was curious. Just curious.
Julia: Nah. That's a Brandon move, not a Connor move.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Brandon would have said, "Fuck you, TeamCast."
Brandon: An opportunity to make TeamCast follow his death? Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: It'd be such a pretty corpse, though.
Julia: What would happen? Would he just shatter?
Brandon: I don't know, but then I can make atomic purple armor out of his skin, and it'd be great.
Amanda: You sure could.
Julia: That's true.
Amanda: Still can, frankly.
Brandon: We'll see.
Julia: I wonder if you had to ask him to, like, destroy their— did he just destroy the letters, or did he destroy their desire to come after you, you know?
Brandon: That's what I'm trying to open to— I'm hoping to— you know?
Eric: Hmm. Interesting.
Amanda: How good was the sandwich, Julia? That's what it comes down to.
Julia: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: That's what I'm gonna do next, is— well, what time is it, Eric? Is it, like, super late, or is it, like, 10:00?
Eric: I— it's up to you. When do you want to go— when do you go— when do you want to go down there?
Brandon: I think it's like 10:00 or 11:00, like not crazy late.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Because I want to, on the way out, call my Aunt Anita.
Eric: Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. I think that you look around, you think, "Sure, the coast is clear," and you bolt out of there. Yeah, and I think you can call your Aunt Anita. The phone rings once, and then goes to voicemail.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: She ignored your call.
Eric: And it says—
Eric (as Anita Tigre): Hi, this is Anita's phone. If I'm not picking it up, you know what happened to me. I probably got kidnapped by rebels. Probably not. That was a joke, legally. Talk at the beep.
Brandon: And I hang up because I'm not a elder millennial. I don't leave voicemails, so I hang up and text her,
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Or a Boomer.
Brandon: Or a Boomer. And I text her and I say—
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, no emergency. Just give me a callback when you have a second. I got a question. Hope you've not been kidnapped. If you have, send the code word and I'll come get you.
Amanda: What's the code word?
Brandon: I can't tell you that, Amanda.
Amanda: Oh, shit. Damn it.
Julia: Only Anita knows.
Amanda: Mine is watermelon.
Julia: Ooh.
Brandon: That's good.
Eric: Ooh, watermelon.
Brandon: Watermelon.
Julia: But now— Amanda, now people are gonna know, and they can pretend to be you—
Eric: Shit.
Julia: —if you get kidnapped.
Brandon: Shit.
Eric: The last page of the comic book, we see the panel of Connor texting his aunt and then walking up the stairs out of the sub, sub-basement. And I think, on the wall behind him, you can see like— you know, there's a school clock back there that says it's like, I don't know, 10:30, right?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: And then on the last page, that panel is recreated four more times with three other students all standing there at different times.
Brandon: Uh-oh.
Eric: One student at 9:15, one student at midnight exactly, and another student at 1:30. And you can see each of them, like Connor in the top left, but all four of the students all giving a sigh of relief and then walking up the stairs out of the sub-basement.
Julia: I think maybe we fed him too much.
Brandon: Whoops.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Uh-oh.
Eric: You're not supposed to feed Mr. Sizzle after midnight.
Brandon: Oh.
Julia: Oh, was that another one of the rules?
Eric: I'm moving out. [sings Moving Out by Billy Joel]
[theme]