CRAAACK! Let’s test out the grappling hooks that we made in shop class. Under the careful and studious eyes of Mr. Box and Mr. Sizzle, everyone’s sure to express their academic prowess in a healthy and constructive way.
We’re playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.
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Cast & Crew
- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini
- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party.
Eric: It's time for shop class with Mr. Box and Mr. Sizzle, everyone's favorite teaching duo. That's a refrigerator and a fire spirit. All the students have to do is build a grappling hook with the materials provided. And that's exactly what everyone does until Mr. Box has to leave class for just a second. Craft chooses good grades over a rendezvous with hottie, Vesper. Rowan feels guilty after being pressured to use her powers by Voidie-Lynn, but puts that grappling hook together pretty fast. And Connor makes a deal with Mr. Sizzle later on to destroy all of the warnings that he's getting from Heroes 4 Hire. I hope no one else decided to go to Mr. Sizzle and destroy stuff. Oh, you mean, like the other students who definitely did that? Okay. Let's have class outside today. It's so nice out. Let's get the party started.
Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[theme]
Eric: Here's the cover for Iced Out, Fired Up, Episode Two. You're all dogs. Everyone is dogs.
Brandon: Yay.
Eric: We're at the Westminster Dog Show, and each of you are little dogs.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: You're all standing, you're all very small dogs, like 30 pounds or less, except for Connor, I guess. Connor's probably not, but competing in the tiny dogs contest.
Brandon: I'm like a boxer who gets shed his water weight so he could compete in the smaller dog.
Julia: That also works, because a boxer, also a kind of dog.
Eric: Oh, big boxer. And you're sitting on little podiums. Connor has a participation trophy in his little dog mouth. Craft has third and most improved pup on it, on the metal around her neck. Rowan is in a gentle second, and at the top is Powers, who is just the cutest little poodle with, like— all four legs is like one's fire and one's an octopus, and one is like seaweed, and one is like Poseidon's Trident.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: And he's sitting on top of the podium with best dog in world etched onto a trophy.
Julia: I'm gonna say, Eric. That doesn't sound very cute to me.
Eric: I— well, Julia, unfortunately, the judges of the Westminster Power Dog Show say otherwise.
Julia: They could be wrong. That's okay.
Eric: I guess it's not— they don't really judge on cuteness. They judge on, like, who's the most 14th century out of all these dogs.
Brandon: I wish the real Westminster did most improved. That would be incredible.
Eric: They— yeah. It's good. Now, I've given you enough time, each of you tell me what dog you are in this cover.
Julia: Craft is one of those— I think they're called like the Xolo or something like that. Those Mexican hairless dogs.
Brandon: Oh, yeah.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Brandon: Those are great.
Julia: Yeah. Like, just very slick-looking.
Eric: Like, with the scars?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: Cool.
Brandon: I mean, Connor is— we just had as a boxer, but I think it's probably more like a pit bull. Like, you know, he's, like, huge and muscle, but, like, he's just so soft, so sweet and cuddly, you know?
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Does he have, like, a skin condition where he has, like, mostly not fur?
Brandon: Yeah, he does.
Amanda: Yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Aw, buddy.
Eric: And we could see his organs.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: So cute.
Eric: Unlike last episode where we saw phlegm throughout the entire dog.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: There's just drool everywhere.
Julia: Yeah. Is Connor feeling better now from his cold?
Brandon: Connor feels so much better, yeah.
Julia: Oh, that's great.
Brandon: Also, he's a dog, so he's fine.
Eric: But in the cover, Connor feels awesome.
Amanda: And Rowan is a bulldog wearing a blazer.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Nice.
Brandon: No, but what kind of dog is Rowan? Got 'em.
Eric: We'll see why that's relevant later, because it's the second episode of Iced Out, Fired Up. You put all your grappling hooks into the kiln, which is domineered-powered by— I'm not really sure what to say— and the real verbs there by Mr. Sizzle. And Connor went back for seconds and decided to feed Mr. Sizzle after midnight.
Amanda: After, apparently, half of our graduating class.
Julia: Is everyone okay in our class?
Amanda: I don't think they are.
Brandon: I don't think so.
Julia: I don't think so, either.
Eric: What's the point of doing a CW show if everyone's not okay?
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: There was a run that Join the Party studios gave to a bunch of up-and-coming artists, One Shots about each one of those characters who fed something into Mr. Sizzle.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: Cool. I'd read that collection.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: I would, too.
Eric: I was trying to think of like— we're at the point where we're starting to like My Hero Academia out. We're learning everything about this class that's all in there, and there's, like, 20 of them. So this morning, I was trying to think about who all of the students were and what they looked like. I mean, one of them has to be Frög, right?
Brandon: Frög.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Frög.
Julia: Definitely.
Eric: Frög is upset that no one recognizes them as a senior, so—
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: —so they had to feed things in there. I just thought someone was purple. I'm not really sure what or how— I thought— I just want one of the students to be purple.
Brandon: Crystal.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Sometimes— if I've learned anything from X-Men is sometimes people— and also My Hero Academia. Sometimes people like look a certain way as part of their, like, power or mutation, but it has nothing to do with their actual power.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Hmm.
Julia: And that just happens a lot.
Eric: I feel like one of the teachers probably went down there to burn something, huh?
Brandon: Uh-oh.
Eric: I'm sure.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Yeah, that's fine.
Brandon: Uh-oh.
Eric: I'm sure it's fine.
Brandon: Burn the evidence of their spouse's murder.
Julia: Oh.
Eric: Oh, no.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: I would not trust— I guess you have to trust a fire demon spirit for that, don't you have to?
Julia: Who can say?
Brandon: Yeah. I mean, who else could you trust? If you can't trust a fire demon, who can you trust?
Julia: They also can't get him to a court.
Brandon: Yeah, that's true.
Amanda: True.
Julia: He can't testify.
Eric: Yeah, you can just— we go out of that, like with the Karen Read case.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Silence.
Eric: Hell, yeah. All right. So it's the next morning, how do you all feel about your grappling hooks stuff?
Julia (as Shelley Craft): Pretty solid, you know? I think I did a good job.
Amanda (as Rowan Miriam Rosen): I feel like one of the things that this assignment was testing me on, specifically, was like— if I was willing to sort of, like, use my powers, and like, I feel a little bit, you know, guilty about it, but also, like, it's a really good grappling hook. And if I ever have to use it, I'd be like, "Yeah." So that's where I'm at.
Eric: Wonderful.
Brandon: Connor gets out of bed like a Disney princess in a beautiful sunrise, where he's like, "Oh." Birds are putting his clothes on them. They can't do it because they can't see where his skin is. He's doing twirls in a circle. And he's like be— like, singing to himself, prancing through the hallway.
Eric: "Look, it's Connor with his organs like always."
Brandon: He downs 12 eggs and you see each one of them go down.
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: Ugh.
Eric: A bunch of squirrels are like, "Yeah, good job."
Julia: "We also love eggs."
Eric: I love how you ate all those eggs.
Brandon: And then someone's like, "Oh, man, you must be really excited about a grappling hook." And he's like—
Brandon (as Connor Lyons): Grappling hook? Why grappling hook?
Amanda: Did he make one?
Julia: Connor didn't make a grappling hook at all, did he?
Amanda: Yeah, no. He didn't.
Brandon: No, he did.
Eric: No, he's— he just— he look down—
Julia: Oh, yeah, he kept burning his hands.
Eric: Yeah, he looks down and sees all the rope burns that stayed there.
Brandon: And they're like— he has, like, hearts in his eyes as he looks at them.
Eric: He's like, "Wow. What a good job I did." Cool. Well, we could just go— unless any of you guys want to do anything, we could just go right to the second day of shop class.
Brandon: The only thing I would like to do real quick, Eric—
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: —is ask you, what kind of superhero cereal do they have in the commissary?
Eric: Ooh, that's a good question. There has to be some sort of, like, kitchen/lunchroom situation in the kitchen of the dorms in a very, like, college—
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: However— I don't know, wherever you went to university or college, where there's some sort of like, "This is what you have. You can do that." But I bet— if you're talking about commissary, this is like— this is where you get all the random shit that they won't give you, but you can pay for it with dining dollars.
Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: So there's probably, like, Super Choco snacks and—
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: —High Five-io's.
Brandon: Oh. Delicious.
Amanda: Stretcheroos. And it's Multitool-themed.
Julia: Aw.
Brandon: Aw, that's cute. And there's one that didn't make it out of the factory floor, but Kilonova's cereal that turns the milk blue, and it's like, sparkly. It's sparkly.
Amanda: Hmm. Hmm.
Julia: Val, no cereal, but Flamin' Hot Vulcanis.
Amanda: Ay.
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Hmm. Oh, that all sounds good. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, because you don't have to listen to Campaign Two to— listen to Campaign Four.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But, like, what a cool idea, though.
Brandon: That's why it didn't make it out of the factory, so—
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Before class begins on day two, I think Rowan's gonna wake up and sort of stare at the ceiling, waiting, and fearing that something is— with green M&M eyelash eyes are going to pop out. It does not, but she does head down a little bit early before breakfast to Miss Rita's office. Knock on the door.
Eric: Miss Rita's not there.
Brandon: Where could she possibly be? She's sleeping over at Dr. Ram's house.
Eric: No. No. We're not starting rumors about the teachers. Goddamn it. It's out—
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: Brandon already said that it's out.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: The students are already discussing it.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Eric: Goddamn it.
Julia: Damn.
Amanda: Delightful.
Eric: Oh, shit.
Amanda (as Rowan): It— it's hard for me to think about the fact that teachers have lives outside of when I need them. But I guess—
Amanda: And then she pulls like a scrap of paper out of her bag and writes a little note, saying like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Miss Rita, I would love to hang out with you. You know, like, all my personal information and schedule or whatnot. So if you could find me, that would be great. Everything's pretty okay, but, like, medium, not good. Love—"
Amanda: Scribbles out love.
Amanda (as Rowan): "—Gravitas."
Brandon: The scribble is just one big dash.
Eric: Yeah. And that's when someone grabs the note from your hand and it's Miss Rita. Miss Ri—
Amanda (as Rowan): Hey, Miss— oh, oh. Sorry. Sorry. I thought you were Powers.
Eric (as Miss Rita): No.
Eric: Miss Rita is now a flushed pink because you went, "Ahh," at her.
Brandon: Yeah, that's why she's a flushed pink. She didn't get caught.
Julia: Getting it on.
Eric: Miss Rita looks at Brandon specifically and says—
Eric (as Miss Rita): I'm an educator, please.
Brandon: I'm sorry, Miss Rita.
Eric: Thank you, Brandon.
Julia: Brandon as Brandon.
Eric: You're definitely— you're gonna get into a good college. It's fine.
Brandon: Yay.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Oh, Rowan, hey. Sorry, I— there was traffic on the bridge, a bunch of bunch of very large birds that I could not get by. So I just— do, you have an appointment?
Amanda (as Rowan): Like super birds or, like, normal birds?
Eric (as Miss Rita): They're— you know, something that I've done to make my life— to kind of relieve myself of one more thing to think about is— it's too much of a cognitive load to decide whether or not the birds are super-powered or just scientifically mutated or by Mother Nature herself. So it's more like those birds, I can't run over the super geese, regardless of where they came from.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, so they were super?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Well, I— they're all super— they're super, but what is the reason—
Amanda (as Rowan): No normal bird could poop that much. I get it.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, exactly. Like, if they're gonna poop, let them, and I'm going to take care of my car.
Brandon: Good therapy session. Good therapy session. We're out. We're done.
Julia: All birds are super. They can fly.
Amanda (as Rowan): But yeah, we did—
Eric: We— hey, Brandon, I'm an educator, please. I need to cook. I'm cooking right now. I'm cooking.
Amanda (as Rowan): But, yeah, we didn't have an appointment, but I was hoping, like, you had some time and— if not now, then like, I can go away and never talk to you again. Like, that's fine, but I just— I wanted to, like, come in and, like, see, maybe if— I don't know if we could talk about, like, my relationship to my powers. And that's, again, like, pretty intense and I wanted to talk to somebody about it, like, maybe an adult.
Julia: Oh, girlfriend.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Yeah, if you don't mind me eating a croissant, sausage, egg, and cheese in front of you, let's do it, for sure. Come on in.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Amanda: And can Rowan take back the note? She really doesn't want the love to be seen.
Eric: No, she's holding on— Miss Rita is holding it. Unless you want to try to take it back.
Amanda: Yeah. Can I?
Eric: How would you do that?
Amanda: Can I try to pierce her mask? Can I try to, like, level with her one-on-one, to be like, "I know that you know, that I don't want you to see that note, so like, please just give it to me,"?
Eric: Yeah, let me know how you do that.
Amanda: So Rowan walks in, pulls a chair, turns a chair around to sit facing—
Julia: Power move.
Amanda: —sit backward in the chair, facing Miss Rita.
Eric: That's so funny, because Miss Rita is, like, opening windows and turning lights on.
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: Like putting her— and putting— taking her jacket off and putting her bag down. I think the lights come on, and then Miss Rita sees you—
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: —with you sitting backwards in your chair.
Amanda: And Rowan just makes full eye contact with her, which I think is the piercing of the mask here. And just, like, puts out a hand, being like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Please.
Eric: Yeah, pierce the mask.
Amanda: Yay.
Eric: Let's do it. I like this game because we haven't pierced the mask to figure out what villains necessarily have done. But it's like, what is that girl who likes me? What is she thinking? And can I have a note back that— where I said I love the guidance counselor?
Amanda: All right, I'm sorry to say that's only a six.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Oh, bummer.
Eric: That's failure.
Julia: Do you want to throw one of us under the bus?
Eric: Do you want to do something selfish?
Amanda: No. No, not this time. Not this time.
Eric: I don't know what to tell you.
Brandon: Connor breaks through a wall to help out.
Amanda: Thank you, anyway. All right, mark a potential. That's fine.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: You could say Craft needs to be here more than you do.
Amanda: We're on grade terms right now. I don't need to, but thank you.
Julia: Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just teasing.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Please, what? Please— do you want a different seat? You want to sit in my seat?
Amanda (as Rowan): No, I— how do I deal with the pressures of having a lot of power and not knowing what to do with it, and not being able to trust myself to know what the right thing is— to do is, please?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Just please answer that for you.
Amanda: And then Rowan slowly lowers her hand back to her lap, and then she hits the chair, and is like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, no.
Amanda: And then puts them in her pockets.
Eric: While you do that, I think also, as Miss Rita is getting settled, she pulls out a notebook, and flips to a new page, and then looks at you and starts writing as you say, all of that. That's my hard move, making you feel weird about someone writing in a notebook.
Amanda (as Rowan): You're writing down more words than I said. Are you making, like, other observations about me?
Eric (as Miss Rita): No, these just notes for me. Don't be stressed out. Sorry, I'm just getting set up. This— I write my to-do list and I— and the— I— you know, I write my to-do list here, and just things for me to remember from the last time we talked. I'm just refreshing myself with notes from before. Don't worry, I— don't worry about this.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, okay. How do I not worry about things?
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hmm. What a good— that's a great idea. Rowan, I think— where— I guess I'm interested in why this is coming up now. What we talked about, it just kind of— you know, all students get stressed out in their senior year, but you know, you've been in the top three. I'm not even worried about the fact that you dropped a ranking here, too. It's the beginning of the year, the algorithm kicks in. So what's bringing this on?
Amanda (as Rowan): Well, I would say that a part of me really wants me to use my powers to their fullest potential.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hmm.
Amanda (as Rowan): And be the powerful super that I want to be. And part of me is really scared that if I do more of that, then bad things will happen. And I don't know which one to listen to.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Uh-hmm. There are— you have multiple voices talking to you inside of you?
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, don't say, like, it's a weird thing. Everyone— I mean, that's like a thing that people say, is like, "Oh, I— you know, like, I— part of me wants to let go of the Mets.
Eric: Miss Rita is writing down in her notebook.
Amanda (as Rowan): And then part of me is like, "Citi Field isn't the same as Shea Stadium."
Eric: Taking notes. She's writing so much.
Amanda (as Rowan): "So, like, what's the point of even going?"
Eric: Just detailed notes, making full eye contact with you as you're speaking.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Rowan, there— I guess you know it would be— it would help me more if you could give me specifics, like details. Like, I don't know, is there something— when you were dealing with the— you know, when you were dealing with the project for Dr. Ram's class, how did that— did you feel like your powers were spiraling out of control?
Amanda (as Rowan): I would say I felt a temptation to use my powers more than I have in the past. And I'm just like, what happens if the school decides that, like, I'm a villain or something? Like, could that happen?
Eric (as Miss Rita): If the school decides? What— how would the school decide?
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't know what— I mean—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Well, what does that mean to you?
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, if— I don't know. Like, I do something and I make a mistake or I try something and doesn't go out as I planned? And, like, I know that Dr. Ram says that the point of all of this is, like, to make your own decisions, and, like, be your own super and everything like that. And, like, I'm trying to do that, but like, what if it's wrong? Like, no offense to, like— no— full offense to Rick Powers, but like, what is he gonna do? Like, make a trowel when he was supposed to make a fork or something? Like, I— it's not gonna have the same effect as if I lose my grip.
Eric (as Miss Rita): Hmm. Well, you know, Wordsmith— the reason why Wordsmith is our principal is that he spent a lot of time studying, thinking about this stuff. And I guess he— if he would make that determination if you were a villain or not, but villainy is self-evident, just like doing good, just like being a person. And I think it's pretty self-evident that you know— you have a good head on your shoulders, and you'll be able to take care of it.
Eric: Miss Rita is shifting your labels, mundane, up, superior down.
Amanda: Hmm.
Julia: I don't know about that statement, Miss Rita.
Brandon: I mean, that's good therapy, right?
Amanda: Can I resist?
Eric: Yeah, if you want to.
Amanda: Yeah, I would like to.
Eric: You're more than—
Amanda: I don't want that to happen.
Eric: Cool. Let's remember how that works. When you reject someone's influence, roll. That's all it says.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: All right.
Eric: Just straight up.
Amanda: [dice roll] Eight.
Eric: Hell yeah. That's a hit. You successfully hold to yourself and tune them out. On a seven to nine, choose one. Clear a condition or mark potential by immediately acting to prove them wrong.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Shift one label up and one label down, your choice, or cancel their influence and take plus one forward against them.
Amanda: Hmm. Oh, delicious. So Miss Rita is facing me and behind her, Eric, are like windows, plants, like, just like the Ephemeral Evan office?
Eric: Yeah. Oh, for sure. She has so many tchotchkes.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: It's tchotchke city in there. Population, Miss Rita.
Amanda: Sounds great. I want to visit, Amanda, but Rowan wants to leave. So Rowan is going to hover all of her tchotchkes, like, an inch and a half above the shelves and services that they're on.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: While maintaining eye contact and will just say like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Great words. Thank you so much. I will think of them always.
Amanda: And she's just, like, backing out of the room. And as soon as she shuts the door behind her, all the tchotchkes, like, clatter back to their shelves, and she's clearing the label of guilty.
Brandon: And do any of the planters break?
Eric: Yes. A planter breaks.
Amanda: Non-violence against plants, the worst kind of violence.
Julia: Oh, no. The guilty label immediately gets put back on.
Amanda: Now, Amanda's guilty.
Eric: No, I gotta like that everything breaks, and then you hear, like, the crash of a terracotta pot open. And I think Miss Rita hol— opens the door, holding her coffee, and says—
Eric (as Miss Rita): Rowan, you're gonna have to do a lot more than that to scare me off.
Amanda: Rowan shakes her head and keeps walking.
Eric: Craft, what are you doing? Just like getting fucking stoned?
Julia: I don't think Craft is getting stoned right now. I think Craft did pop her morning gummy as per usual.
Eric: Got it.
Julia: But I don't think Craft is getting stoned. I think— could Craft be doing an extra credit assignment?
Eric: Wow.
Julia: Is that crazy?
Eric: Really?
Brandon: Whoa.
Julia: Like, a cool one.
Eric: A cool one.
Julia: Not like calculus, but like, you know, something fun.
Eric: No, I love this. I'm remembering my time as a high school teacher, and just, like, doing anything so that it doesn't look like a student failed on your watch and giving them the most ridiculous extra credit assignments. So it's like, I am imagining there's like a literature class that you just did not do, and it's like, I don't know, memorize a poem and then do it. Just pick a poem that's at least two pages long and memorize it and do it, and I'll give you a D.
Brandon: Amanda, can you do the poem for me?
Amanda: Yeah, of course I can.
Julia: I actually have one.
Amanda: Go ahead.
Julia: Brandon, the sun was shining or the sea shine with all its might, and tried its very best to make the billows smooth and bright. And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night.
Brandon: Beautiful. You get an extra gold star. Extra podcast gold star.
Amanda: Yesterday, one of my students, after finishing her final presentation, said, "Phew. I can micro dose a lot less tomorrow."
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: And I said—
Julia: Queen.
Amanda: —I said, "Elaine, Elaine, that's not a micro dose."
Brandon: Wow.
Amanda: "Elaine, baby, that's not a micro dose."
Julia: Micro for her, baby.
Amanda: "And also you are fully high today."
Julia: It was a microdose for her, baby, and Craft says the same thing.
Amanda: Yep.
Brandon: I love the idea of convincing yourself you're not doing drugs by microdosing 11 times in a row.
Amanda: Yes. She goes, "I microdosed too much today." And I was like, "Yeah."
Julia: Well, that's what Craft took and then is reciting The Walrus and the Carpenter to a teacher. Just being— like, zone a 1,000-yard stare, just like reciting a poem.
Eric: Oh, man. I mean, I think this has to be one of the regular teachers, right? I think that this must have been like a burnt out public school teacher who— no. Julia, would you rather this be a burnt out public school teacher or a disgraced, like, English professor?
Julia: I think disgraced but not English professor. I think they are like a German medieval literature professor.
Eric: Oh, hell yeah.
Julia: Like, they should not be teaching high school English, and yet—
Eric: I like that. The only remnants is that they're wearing— they're still wearing, like, professorial tweed jacket.
Julia: There's elbow patches.
Eric: Elbow patches. It's still the beginning— it's not even cold yet, but, man, they're really wearing the hell out of that tweed, sweating through it. And—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —you know, the— who knows if the air conditioning is even working in here.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): Fraulein Shelley Craft, I cannot say I did not anticipate you coming to do extra credit. And then you said, in your own words, that "The canon was stupid and reading is for squares."
Julia (as Craft): I do think the canon is stupid, but reading, I'll take it or leave it.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): Well, I'll be able to say until all the other teachers that you're turning over a new leaf and you're going to start the screwing yourself to your studies, as it were. It's an expression. Stop.
Julia (as Craft): That's a weird one.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): I've been disgraced once already. Let's— we're not talking about it.
Julia (as Craft): Be careful.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): It's worse—
Julia (as Craft): I have the second time.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): It's worse when you're telling me to be careful.
Amanda: Have all of the high school students out there considered looking a teacher dead in the eye and saying, "Be careful"?
Brandon: Be careful.
Eric: Terrifying. I had a jolt of anxiety run through me when you said that.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): Wonderful. Oh, well, I— see, I don't want to make you late for your next class, but do you have anything else to say about your future endeavors for trying at reading?
Julia (as Craft): I'm gonna read like not even every other page you assigned, every page. And I'm gonna comprehend it.
Brandon: Whoa.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): Shelley, as a— as— I've spent 30 years and— in various schools across our great green and blue dots, studying, reading, analyzing, from the dustiest of tomes to the newest retranslations, and if I could sell you one thing, don't read every other page. You're not going to know what happens. That's not better.
Julia (as Craft): It's kind of fun, because then I can, like, fill in the blanks with my own mind. You know?
Brandon: It's like a challenge, you know?
Amanda: Say dialectical.
Julia (as Craft): It's super, like, dialectical.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): I misjudged you, Fraulein Craft. Incredible. Wonderful.
Brandon: I love that Amanda is giving Craft advice.
Amanda: Well—
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: —once per episode, we can pierce the fourth wall. Eric said that.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): Wonderful, wonderful. Oh, well, I need to— I have to eat these Bangers and Mash. I ran out of German things I knew.
Julia (as Craft): Schnitzel. That's a thing.
Eric (as Professor Anglophile): No, you don't have morning— oh, you don't have morning schnitzel. What am I, a barbarian?
Brandon: I love that this German professor is like an anglophile, like super into British culture.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Amanda: We needed another red flag. Here it is.
Eric: Yeah, for sure, for sure. Craft, I think as you're leaving, someone bumps into you, and then everything in your— did you say you had, like, a fanny pack?
Julia: No, I have a, like, messenger— like a leather messenger bag.
Eric: Oh, yeah, in your messenger bag. The messenger bag, like, vibrates open and then turns over and everything spills out on the floor.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, come on.
Eric: And like—
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.
Eric: Vesper is standing over you, wearing a different— which is one shade greener of a suit that they were wearing yesterday.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, I didn't know— even know you spent time in this hallway. That's weird. That's weird that we would run into each other like that. What are you doing here?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, I don't, like, spend time in this hallway. I just occasionally have classes here.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, what are you doing in Professor Anglophile's class? It's crazy.
Brandon: Oh, it's his name, too.
Eric: Yeah, his name.
Julia (as Craft): I was reciting a poem.
Eric (as Vesper): What— oh, Shelley Craft making up for lost grades. That's—
Julia (as Craft): Finish your sentence.
Eric (as Vesper): —lame and boring.
Julia (as Craft): Damn. Okay. I guess I'm lame and boring now. Uh-oh.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, I—
Julia (as Craft): You could— I guess you could stop trying to run into me in random places, then.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, I'm not trying to run into you. It's just—
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Vesper): It's just serendipity. I guess that's why it's happening. Well, I'm just kind of on my way to double check my— to, you know, double check my grappling hook. I don't want to leave anything up to chance for whatever Mr. Sizzle says is or is not a fully put together grappling hook. So you can join me if you want.
Julia (as Craft): I was actually going to head to class as well, so— okay.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, okay. I guess— oh, wow. I guess we're walking together. That's crazy.
Julia (as Craft): What is going on here? I'm very confused.
Eric (as Vesper): What's going on where?
Julia (as Craft): Are you flirting with me?
Eric (as Vesper): If you need to be— I guess if you need to ask if it's happening.
Julia (as Craft): I'm just confused because I don't— I feel like I was completely ignored for the entirety of junior year, and now you're, like, very up in my shit. And it's not that I don't like it. It's just very confusing.
Eric (as Vesper): You know, an important thing that I learned with my super-secret undercover MI6 training I've been doing over the summers is you need to— if sometimes there isn't a double agent lurking under there, sometimes it is what it is. And if you are having a slow motion train wreck all throughout junior year, I'm just going to kind of let you do what you're doing, but you seem to be— I don't know. I kind of accepted that, and you were at a point where it like— it wasn't a trick—
Julia (as Craft): Like, it was how much of a mess I was?
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, but— and then—
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Eric (as Vesper): And now, you're changing it. It's just hard to get a beat on you, so I was just, like, figuring that out. But if you don't want me to be—
Julia (as Craft): I keep things mysterious.
Eric (as Vesper): If I— if you're a little too shaky— if you're a little too shaken up, I could just stop doing that.
Julia (as Craft): Jesus.
Eric (as Vesper): What? What— why— what's the problem?
Julia (as Craft): No, just because that's your powers and that was kind of—
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, if that’s a problem—
Julia (as Craft): —I'm gonna tell you, a little lame, but, you know, kind of funny.
Brandon: I love how every teenager thinks that negging is the way to flirt.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Brandon, I'm doing the best that I can here. I— there's only so much I can flirt with you, and I can only flirt with you.
Brandon: You're doing great, Eric. I'm not criticizing you, the GM. I'm criticizing teenagers at large.
Amanda: Teens.
Julia: Teens.
Eric: True. I—
Julia: Teens.
Eric: Hey, Glimmer and Vesper are— have emotional problems. Like I said, with every other student who's here get— that's been brought over from the CW.
Amanda: That's Masks, baby.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That's masks.
Eric (as Vesper): So, I don't know, you just want to— but, you know, if you're getting your act together, I guess you could do that. We could, you know, get off campus. Just have someone else shoot our grappling hooks and see how it goes.
Brandon: Nice.
Amanda (as Rowan): Why does he want to get you off campus so bad?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, that's a great question. I don't want to go off campus right now. I want to shoot my cool grappling hook that I worked really hard on.
Eric (as Vesper): Okay. Fine.
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Eric (as Vesper): I don't know. I haven't gotten break—
Julia (as Craft): Do you still have that motorcycle you stole?
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, I was gonna hop on that and go get something— go get some breakfast. Like—
Julia (as Craft): How— do you ever worry that, like, because of your powers, it's gonna just, like, kind of fall apart underneath you?
Eric (as Vesper): No, I hold it together with my hands.
Julia (as Craft): Even, like, the bolts and shit?
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, I use my knees.
Julia (as Craft): That's crazy. You'll have to show me that sometime, because that's wild.
Eric (as Vesper): It's impre— yeah, I'll show you sometime, but, you know, I'm busy doing cool stuff, so—
Julia (as Craft): Cool.
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'll see you around.
Julia (as Craft): Maybe. We're still literally walking in the same direction to class together.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, but me— actually, I'm walking somewhere else instead.
Julia (as Craft): You said we were going to class together.
Eric: And then Vesper just, like, walks away, like, down a hallway, opens the door, goes into a stairwell.
Julia: All right.
Eric: Great. Cra— yeah, Craft, you can head down to the shop class.
Julia: I want to see how good my fucking grappling hook came out.
Eric: Hell, yeah. It looks great. It looks good.
Julia (as Craft): Sick. I should be good at technology.
Julia: Craft says out loud.
Julia (as Craft): I should be good at this.
Brandon (as Connor): Craft! Craft, it looks so good. You did so good. You're so good at technology.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. You know, like I had to build robots until I was, like, 13.
Brandon (as Connor): Whoa.
Julia (as Craft): Like, every day I was building robots.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's child labor, dog.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. It sucked.
Brandon (as Connor): Yikes. I'm sorry that happened, but I'm sure— I'm glad you learned so much.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. I had to learn how to make my own coffee when I came to school. It was tough.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, because your robots did it for you.
Julia (as Craft): The robots did it for me.
Brandon (as Connor): I was like, "Everyone has to learn how to make coffee at some point."
Julia (as Craft): No, no, the robot did it.
Brandon (as Connor): Got it.
Amanda (as Rowan): Did your parents tell you that that drinking coffee would make you short?
Julia (as Craft): No.
Amanda (as Rowan): Mine did. And it did. And I am. Anyway, how's my grappling hook look?
Eric: That's a really funny panel of the comic, I'll tell you. It looks great. Having five-foot-two Rowan look up at the hulking Connor and Craft.
Julia: And Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): When did you start drinking coffee?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. Like, nine.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): City kid.
Eric: 9:00 PM in the previous night.
Brandon (as Connor): Rowan, your grappling look— hook looks so good, too.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks.
Brandon (as Connor): You did so good.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks. I was trying to, like, do a good job, you know?
Brandon (as Connor): It is such a beautiful day to do grappling hooks.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, what happened to you?
Julia (as Craft): What—
Brandon (as Connor): Nothing.
Julia (as Craft): What's going on here?
Amanda (as Rowan): Did you kiss someone?
Julia (as Craft): Are you in love?
Brandon (as Connor): No, I wish.
Julia (as Craft): Damn.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Eric (as TeamCast): Never.
Eric: Says TeamCast and then it says "Kick flip" on their screen.
Julia: It should say "Game over," Eric.
Eric: Oh. "Wasted."
Brandon: "Wasted."
Julia: There it is.
Brandon (as Connor): TeamCast, I will unplug you. Do you want me to unplug you?
Eric (as TeamCast): No one knows that, except for the president.
Amanda (as Rowan): Of what? Loser club?
Brandon: Got him.
Amanda: And then Rowan sticks up two hands.
Brandon: High five, high five.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Now, it says "Game over" on it.
Julia: The screen just goes blank.
Eric: Yeah. Now, it says "Game over."
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rowan—
Eric: But sorry, it goes, "Poom." And then the screen disappears like an old CRT.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Rowan is gonna toss her blazer over TeamCast's monitor, and then lean a little bit closer. She's gonna actually probably kneel on top of the stool at the shop table, to be at head height with Craft and Connor, and just be like—
Amanda (as Rowan): No. So Connor, like, what's wrong with you? You're like really happy, and it's really weird.
Julia (as Craft): It's not weird that you're happy. It's just like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, compared to usual.
Julia (as Craft): It's weird you're chipper.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): That's what I would say.
Amanda (as Rowan): Is everything okay?
Brandon (as Connor): Everything's fine. I just woke up on the right side of the bed, guys. Nothing's wrong at all.
Eric: Rowan, I have a proposition for you. If you want to get Connor to tell you something, you could always try to provoke him and see how it goes.
Julia: Can we not try to pierce his mask?
Eric: I don't know if you can PC to PC, pierce someone's mask, because it's like getting information from me about NPCs. But you can definitely try to provoke other PCs to get you to do something that you want.
Amanda: Yeah. I would like to do that.
Brandon: Oh, man.
Amanda: So—
Julia: Oh.
Amanda: —Rowan is gonna, like, again, lean in real close and be like—
Amanda (as Rowan): "Connor, if there's something wrong or something like happened that you were worried about and you're not worried about it anymore, like you can tell us. And, like, you were really there for me, like we could really be there for you. You know what I mean? That's what a team is for.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, I know, yeah.
Amanda (as Rowan): So, like, tell me what's different this morning?
Amanda: And then Rowan is gonna roll superior.
Eric: Yeah, roll plus superior.
Amanda: Oh, it's an 11.
Eric: Ooh.
Brandon: Oh, fuck.
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: So because Amanda rolled above a 10, if Connor tells us what's up, we add plus one to the team pool, but if Connor doesn't tell us, he has to mark a condition.
Eric: Oh, yeah. That's right. Since you rolled a 10 plus, you get both the carrot and the stick. You get the good thing and the bad thing, and Connor has to decide if he's gonna do it or not.
Brandon: Yikes.
Julia: Come on, Connor.
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Amanda: Both are fun.
Brandon: What's our team pool right now?
Eric: It's currently at two.
Brandon: Okay. Eric, how specific do I have to get?
Eric: I think you have to be truthful and definitely say some stuff.
Brandon: Okay.
Eric: Because it's provoking someone, and the thing that Rowan wants is for you to tell them what's happening to you. You have to fulfill that.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: I said, what's different today versus yesterday?
Brandon: So Connor gets a little bit of excitement in his eyes, and he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): Come here, come here. Huddle up, huddle up, huddle up.
Amanda (as Rowan): I cannot get any closer to you.
Brandon (as Connor): Team huddle. Craft, what are you doing? Team huddle.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. All right. I'm right here. I'm literally— I took one step forward. Relax.
Brandon (as Connor): You know how Mr. Sizzle said he could, like, eat stuff and it would go away forever?
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, garbage?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, I've heard that rumor before.
Brandon (as Connor): No, but like, it's not a rumor, and it's more than garbage. It's like anything goes away forever, he said.
Amanda (as Rowan): Whoa.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Amanda (as Rowan): What'd you throw away?
Brandon (as Connor): Let's just say I had a problem with PJ Lawbody.
Brandon: And he touches his nose.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): And I no longer have that problem, because Mr. Sizzle ate it and so it's gone from existence. It never happened.
Julia (as Craft): Did you commit a crime?
Brandon (as Connor): No. I don't think so. Did you commit a crime?
Julia (as Craft): I mean, constantly, but besides the point. It's like a misdemeanor.
Amanda (as Rowan): I love the initiative. If you have any problems in the future or if, like, this didn't go as you thought, let us know. But you didn't, like, feed him too much, right? Because we heard that thing about, like, if he gets fed too much, then his energy sort of, like, explodes, or like— whatever.
Julia (as Craft): He escapes.
Amanda (as Rowan): Like, it's very dangerous. Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, no. I mean, I— he asked for a sandwich, so I gave him a sandwich and then the stuff, but that was it. And he asked for a Coke or whatever. And I was like, "That's too much. You don't need—"
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, no. Yeah, no.
Brandon (as Connor): You don't need a Coke.
Julia (as Craft): That's smart.
Amanda (as Rowan): Combination is no good with fire. Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): So I don't think so.
Amanda (as Rowan): My people invented seltzer, so I know.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, man, we're so indebted to your people.
Eric: Too strong and weak gravitational force. Hey, Brandon, there's something on Connor's character sheet, which I think is interesting. When you share a vulnerability or a weakness with someone, ask if they think you're losing or gaining humanity. If you say losing, mark a condition and mark potential. If they say gaining, clear a condition and shift mundane up and any other label down.
Brandon: Where is this again?
Eric: That is on your team moves.
Brandon: Team moves.
Amanda: Those are easy to forget about.
Julia: I always forget about those.
Eric: It's always if you share a celebration or if you share a vulnerability. That's always the trigger.
Julia: Ah.
Brandon: Got it.
Amanda: Oh.
Brandon: Okay.
Amanda: Smart.
Eric: I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to. I'm just saying it's open to you. You never need to action a trigger. It's just whether or not it's there.
Brandon: No, I— yeah. I do want to do it. I just don't know how to say it like an actual human being.
Eric: Hmm. Yeah.
Julia: You guys aren't mad at me, right?
Amanda: Yeah. Was that cool? Is that okay?
Brandon: Yeah. Thank you.
Brandon (as Connor): That's like— that was like— that's cool, right? You guys aren't mad— like, I didn't do bad— you're not, like, less of a—
Amanda (as Rowan): Nah.
Julia (as Craft): No.
Brandon (as Connor): —Connor in your eyeballs?
Amanda (as Rowan): Nah.
Julia (as Craft): No. I mean, like you said you didn't—
Amanda (as Rowan): Do your thing.
Julia (as Craft): —commit a crime.
Brandon: And he makes his eyes go in and out.
Julia (as Craft): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): We talked about that. We talked about that. No, no, no.
Julia (as Craft): It's like a snail.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, like, you said you didn't commit a crime and, like, nothing bad happened, so like, yeah, whatever.
Amanda (as Rowan): I trust you. It's more like if you need our support, like, that's what we're here for. You know?
Brandon (as Connor): Okay. Cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): But thanks for telling me. I think if you'd— if something happened and you didn't say about it, then I would have been like, "Oh. Oh, dang. What did I do to make Connor think that he couldn't trust me?" You know?
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): In fact, I thought until this point maybe you were a little too perfect, so it's kind of cool that you're, like, doing stuff.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): You know?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): I mean, I'm flawless, but that's not perfect, you know? So—
Julia (as Craft): Insane thing to say from everybody.
Julia: Smacks him on the back.
Eric: You can— you watch a burp come up from stomach-- Connor’s stomach—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Eric: —and move up to his body.
Brandon (as Connor): Turn away, turn away, turn away.
Eric: You can see your stomach acid bubble a little bit and then, like, the little cloud go—
Brandon: It's like a cartoon bubble. That's awesome.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Are those raw eggs? What the fuck, man?
Eric: Yeah. You clear a condition and shift mundane up in any other label down, my man.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon (as Connor): Sometimes, occasionally, in the mornings, I like to gas on it, you know?
Julia (as Craft): Okay, sure.
Amanda (as Rowan): Harass women in the market?
Brandon (as Connor): No, the other one.
Amanda: I know. See, I got you. I got you.
Julia (as Craft): Do a spitting contest.
Amanda: We're good.
Brandon: Okay, mundane up in any other label down.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Okay. So my mundane is back to zero, thankfully. And I'll move my— I'll just move my superior down. That makes sense, I think.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, clear a condition if you got one.
Brandon: I don't.
Eric: Oh, nice.
Brandon: Thankfully.
Eric: That's when Mr. Box waddles into class, opens the refrigerated doors. And inside, there look to be like technologically modified, almost dog collars for everyone, and Mr. Box is holding a big one and says—
Eric (as Mr. Box): Who's ready to lose their powers?
Julia (as Craft): Uh—
Amanda (as Rowan): Uh—
Eric (as Mr. Box): We're going outside.
[theme]
Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. This midroll is brought to you by wearing socks with your Birkenstocks, for when you want to be fancy free, but it's still a little too chilly. Thank you so much to our four new paying patrons. That's right, folks. We are one person away from our goal of 50 new paying patrons, which means that we'll be able to play another One Shot from the One Shot Derby II. And those four beautiful people are Kathleen Ayers, Anna Whitehouse, Richard Loftus, and AJ Fenske. Thank you so, so much. You are getting things like Discord access, ad-free episodes, early access to episodes before anybody else, and more. Come on over, join us today, and help us do another One Shot Derby at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. If you like Join the Party, I have great news, which is that we are part of a huge podcast collective. Have you heard? It's called Multitude. And one of the other shows in Multitude that we would love for you to check out is Tiny Matters, about how science shapes every single part of our lives, but much of its influence is overlooked or buried in the past. So this award-winning podcast is about tiny things, from molecules to microbes that have big and often surprising impact on society, from deadly diseases to forensic toxicology to the search for extraterrestrial life. The hosts and scientists, Sam Jones and Deboki Chakravarti, embrace the awe and messiness of science and its place in history and today. Plus, of course, how it could impact our world's future. So go on over and check out Tiny Matters. New episodes every Wednesday. Did you know that we have a vinyl episode? They are selling, folks. And when they sell out, we are not going to make more. So if you are waiting to have a beautiful 12-inch translucent green Chad vinyl, you gotta buy it. Okay? This is a special episode right from Campaign Two, set in Lake Town City, also the greater setting, greater Jupiter area of Campaign Four. We have a full episode pressed into a 12-inch Chad Greene vinyl disc with a full color front and back album art. There's a beautiful insert. It's just— it's amazing. Trust me, you're gonna want to see it. Go to our social, @jointhepartypod, on social to see the photos. They're absolutely beautiful. You want this physical object, folks. We only need a 100 of them. We're not going to make anymore. So if you want yours, you have to get it at jointhepartypod.com/merch. And if you're saying to me, "Amanda, that's very nice, but I don't have a record player." I would say, "Great. We love you." Every purchase comes with an mp3 of the episode, so you can listen on your device without missing anything. Trust me, you want this object. It is a beautiful thing that we are so proud of, that we are never going to make again, so go to jointhepartypod.com/merch to get yours today. We are sponsored this week by one of my very favorite sponsors, bookshop.org. They are kind enough to be offering our listeners 10% off anything on bookshop.org, which is pretty much any book, which is incredibly nice. Hey, it's Pride Month. Obviously, we're queer all year round here on Join the Party, but if you want to go buy specialty books by gay, trans, queer authors, you can go on ahead to bookshop.org and check out their beautiful collection of wonderful pride-themed books. Join the Party will get you 10% off. The main thing to love about bookshop.org is that they exist in order to, this is my words, not theirs, take money out of Jeff Bezos' pocket and put it in the pockets of local bookstores. They have raised almost $40 million for local bookstores since they launched, and they are incredibly good, incredibly good customer service, climate neutral certified, a certified beat corporation. They have a five-star rating on Trustpilot. You love these. Folks, you love to see it. So please go on over to bookshop.org, pick out whatever books you want to buy. You can get them shipped right to you quicker than you're probably thinking, because they're from local bookshops near you, and use the code Join the Party for 10% off. And now, back to the show.
[theme]
Eric: Go to the next panel. You're standing at the edge of the cliff that separates the main campus from the dorms. There's just like a wide chasm that yawns out in front of you. The water of the lake just kind of slapping against both sides of the rock, both— on either sides of the chasm.
Amanda: Eric, is the panel like panoramic and really wide and rendered in like a sublime oil painting art style?
Brandon: Ooh.
Eric: Yeah, for sure. Definitely.
Amanda: Sick. I thought so.
Brandon: I was thinking it was two panels side by side, and the middle is the chasm, like the break and the gutter.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: Ooh. That's good, too. I really like that, Brandon, but I think that in the middle— we need to see the middle of the chasm, because floating in a little planter, on a planter that is on, like, a little, like, gravitational platform, is a big tree with a branch that is extending, like, 10 feet out. Perfect for grappling hooks.
Brandon: Nice.
Eric (as Mr. Box): All right. Well, the only way to test your grappling hooks is to see how it goes. And as I said, the grappling hook is going to be the way that you deal with problems when you cannot rely on your powers. So everyone needs to put on a collar and use their grappling hook.
Brandon (as Connor): Mr. Box, I have a question.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): So if we don't have powers and we mess up, are we dead?
Eric (as Mr. Box): No.
Julia (as Craft): Then what happens instead if we fall many, many feet?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Well, I hope your grappling hooks were properly assembled.
Julia (as Craft): And if they're not, is the question I think Connor just raised here.
Eric (as Mr. Box): You'll—
Brandon (as Connor): Okay.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Yeah. Yes.
Julia (as Craft): Jesus.
Eric (as Mr. Box): This is a learning—
Julia (as Craft): This fucking school.
Eric (as Mr. Box): —opportunity for all of you. You cannot— oh, when you run into a fight, you cannot ask a teacher nearby if the danger is going to be too dangerous in what is going to happen next.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon (as Connor): Has anyone tried that?
Julia (as Craft): But what— also, the thing is, usually, we have teammates who have our backs and can use their powers in case we have a problem. You know what I mean?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Well, what if all of your teammates have their powers taken away?
Brandon: Have fallen down a chasm.
Julia (as Craft): And then I'm fucked, aren't I, Mr. Box?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Well, then, every— it is— everyone is going to have their grappling hooks and everyone will be able to use them if needed.
Brandon (as Connor): All right.
Julia (as Craft): What if my grappling hooks are broken? Okay, fine. Let's just fucking get these things.
Eric (as Mr. Box): If all three of your grappling hooks are broken, you are in a situation where all of you are going to have a bad time. It's a teaching opportunity.
Eric: Remember, this is a refrigerator talking to you.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll just go first and then I'll— and they'll take my collar off. And if there's a problem, I'll be able scoop you up.
Brandon (as Connor): Rowan, Rowan, Rowan, Rowan.
Julia (as Craft): Rowan, Rowan, Rowan.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Before everyone begins, everyone please put on your collars. Everyone in class needs to put on their collars, so no one is tempted to use their powers and undercut the educational value of the grappling hook.
Amanda: Before putting it on, Rowan is going to test closing and then reopening the collar. Can we open it ourselves after we go? Like, am I able to open it or is— does the teacher need to hit something?
Julia: Or does he have to, like, key us out, basically?
Brandon: Or do you fail if we take it off?
Eric: That's a really— that's a good question. I mean, there's a lot of different things to do. I would say that me that everyone needs to put it on there— themselves, and Mr. Box has a program encoded in their refrigerator—
Brandon: In the ice dispenser.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah, in the ice dispenser that unlocks it. There's a— yeah, there's a little device inside the ice box that gets dropped in there.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, new plan. I'm gonna go last, that way I don't have to put on my collar before everyone else is over.
Eric (as Mr. Box): No, the entire class needs to put on their collars before we test the grappling hooks. It's an educational, pedagogical, practical moment.
Amanda (as Rowan): That's not a word.
Julia: Eric, can I just, like, look back into the past of what I know this school to be? How many people have died?
Eric: Ooh, that's a good question. You want to look— you want to roll for a rumor?
Julia: Sure.
Eric: Although, if you want to—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —let's open yourself up to some rumors, shall we?
Julia: Hell yeah. What do I roll for rumors again?
Brandon: Dice.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: I know I use dice, Brandon. Thank you for your help on that front.
Brandon: You're welcome.
Eric: Hey, Brandon, you fucking got 'em.
Brandon: Got 'em.
Eric: When you put out an ear for school gossip, name it and roll plus mundane.
Julia: [dice roll] An 11.
Brandon: Shoot.
Eric: It's pretty good. On a 10 plus, you may ask a follow-up question to the juiciest thing. Oh, you know, it's all relative.
Brandon: Death is not a relative.
Julia: How many people have died in class?
Eric: Oh, in in shop class, in general?
Julia: Just in class.
Eric: Oh.
Amanda: No need to specify worrisome.
Julia: Yeah, because, like, I can understand people have died on missions. Sure, it's a superhero school. Makes fucking sense.
Eric: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Julia: In class, supervised by a teacher, how many students have died?
Eric: It happens, it happens. It's more— it's hard— here's what I'm gonna say. Here— let me say this thing and you can ask a follow-up question. Students, if they're gossiping, are not quantifying it, right? But there's definitely, like, four or five different stories about people dying in classes.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Probably two of them involve some version of it happening in shop class, and Mr. Box saying it was an educational moment for all of the other students.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: So two out of five of the rumors involved—
Julia: Have mentioned shop class?
Eric: Involved shop class, yeah. You can ask a follow-up question.
Julia: Cool. Do we have a resurrection teacher somewhere on campus?
Eric: Yeah. I mean, but in the wizard tower, but it's like in the west wing.
Julia: Oh.
Brandon: We do have a nurse.
Julia: Yeah, but does she have resurrection powers?
Amanda: Remember, he's a burly man.
Brandon: Yeah, he's a burly man.
Julia: Ah, yes.
Amanda: The hot burly man.
Julia: Sorry, I forgot.
Brandon: Wow, Julia.
Julia: I shouldn't have said the nurse was a woman. My mistake. I just— I've never heard of a male doctor before, or a male nurse, so—
Amanda: I know. I've never listened to Campaign Three, so I can't make that joke.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Everyone put their collars on—
Julia: All right.
Eric (as Mr. Box): —so we can get on with the assignment.
Eric: Says Mr. Box.
Brandon (as Connor): Mr. Box?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Yes, Connor.
Brandon (as Connor): Can I, like, put two— like, clip two together?
Julia: I think the huge one was for you.
Eric: Yes.
Brandon: Oh, the big one?
Amanda: Uh-huh.
Eric: The huge one that Mr. Box is holding was for you.
Brandon (as Connor): I thought it was for you, I see.
Eric (as Mr. Box): No, I'm the teacher.
Brandon (as Connor): I know.
Eric (as Mr. Box): I do not— I'm not— a collar is not being put on me.
Brandon (as Connor): You don't have to explain to me. I got it.
Julia (as Craft): Do you die if you put a collar on because you're just like a sentient icebox?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Yes.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh.
Amanda (as Rowan): You probably shouldn't tell students that.
Julia (as Craft): How do you grapple with your immortality?
Brandon (as Connor): Do you still work, though? Like as an icebox?
Eric (as Mr. Box): Put the collar on.
Julia (as Craft): It's not plugged in, Connor.
Brandon: I put the collar on.
Julia: We all—
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, we all put our collars on.
Eric: Incredible. I think because the three of you have been stalling so much, a few of the other students shoot their grappling hooks off. They take a firm, steady position on the side of the chasm. Shoot the grappling hook. The grappling hook winds itself around from the floating trees branch, swings over, jumps. One of the students just belly flops, odd to their stomach, but— ungraceful, but they sure did do it. Frög nailed it, man.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: Frög crushed it. Frög.
Brandon (as Connor): Frög.
Amanda (as Rowan): Frög, your legs are very powerful. Oh, he was nervous. He upchucked a little bit.
Julia (as Craft): Frogs do that.
Eric: So which— hey, which of our students wants to go first?
Brandon: Rock, paper, scissors?
Julia (as Craft): I'll go first. I'll go first.
Brandon: No, rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors.
Julia (as Craft): I'll go first. I'll go first.
Amanda: Julia, for fun. Okay. 1, 2, 3, shoot.
Eric: You all did scissors.
Amanda: Because you had poisoned us with lesbian words.
Eric: Craft is going first.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Great.
Julia: Bangarang. Let's fucking go.
Brandon: "Poisoned us with lesbian words."
Amanda: Mr. Box, vibration between the knees. Come on.
Brandon: Oh, boy.
Julia: All right, what am I doing? Do I have to roll or do I just like— Craft takes a fucking triangle stance, pyramid stance, whatever it's called. Shoots that bad boy.
Eric: [makes grappling hook noise] Craft, how does it feel grappling hooking across this chasm?
Julia: Fucking insane.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia (as Craft): Please remember, I am standard level high right now. It's wild.
Brandon: You're also high off the ground.
Julia (as Craft): I'm very high off the ground.
Eric: You feel the— both the lake effect wind and the fact that you're over a chasm, just like rumbling through your scalp.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: Like, you know when you get one of those, like, sharper image cat toys?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric: But it's on your head.
Julia (as Craft): Uh-hmm.
Brandon: You know what? Like, I love it in, like, a movie or a cartoon or something, when, like, the character that wears really baggy clothes, and then suddenly, is in, like in a wind tunnel, for some reason, and you suddenly see how fucking small and skinny they are.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Exactly like a wet cat.
Eric: That's awesome.
Brandon: Yeah, like a wet cat.
Eric: Incredible.
Julia: Craft looks like a wet cat. You're like—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Julia: —"Oh, wow, she's like a fucking twig."
Eric: Yeah, there's definitely like a— an insert shot of just, like, seeing the outline of where Craft's body is with— in all of her clothes.
Amanda: There are eight lighters in various pockets.
Julia: So many.
Eric: You see all— yeah, you see all the things jiggling around there. Incredible. All right, who wants to go next?
Brandon: I want to go next.
Eric: Connor is a little— what does it look like? Ooh, wait. I want to ask you a question. What does it look— I guess I want to know from you, what do you look like without powers? Like, are you still just, like, gross, but not strong?
Brandon: Yes. I mean, I still have my muscles. Like, my muscles don't go away, but I'm just, like, normal strong.
Julia: But can we see through your skin still?
Brandon: I think so, because that's like a permanent transformation.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Like, that's not a power, you know?
Eric: Right. So you're just gross without any of the good stuff?
Brandon: Rude, but yes.
Julia: Rude—
Eric: Sorry, let me—
Julia: —but okay.
Eric: Sorry, let me look at my notes here. Let's see. What does Masks tell me I'm supposed to do to the transform? Reject them. Show how they are feared or hated. Remind them of what they've lost.
Julia: Tell them they're gross.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Does it say be rude in there while you do that?
Eric: I think that's what see their true self means. Yeah.
Julia: Oh, damn.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: So Connor steps up to the chasm. He takes like a ginger step forward and look— sort of, like, looks down. And he puts his ear out to see if he could hear the bottom of it, but then remembers he has no powers, so he can't really do anything.
Eric: A seagull comes up, goes— [squawks]
Brandon (as Connor): Ahh!
Eric: And it's trying to distract you from it.
Brandon: And I stumble back.
Eric: There has to be something about, like, your hearing powers, where it's like, your ability to, like—
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: —parse out sound as well.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's going to take his grappling hook. He's going to— like a baseball pitcher, sort of, like, winding up.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: Aim, fire.
Eric: [grappling hook noise] You are soaring through the air. The air just rumbling through your weird, transparent skin.
Brandon: And Rowan hears—
Brandon (as Connor): Ow! Shit! Ow! Shit! Ahh! Shit! Ow! Shit!
Amanda (as Rowan): What's hurting you?
Brandon (as Connor): I put the rope where it goes over my hand when I shot the gun!
Eric: Just hold— you're supposed to hold—
Julia: A rope burn.
Eric: You're supposed to hold the gun. I think that's probably a problem, because I think as you're swinging— you're into the swing across, you hear a snap with a big comic book snap.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: And your rope just breaks.
Brandon: Am I on top of the thing?
Eric: No, you are—
Brandon: I'm in the chasm.
Eric: You are in the middle of the chasm.
Julia: Connor, no.
Eric: You see comic book snap and your rope just breaks off, like the rope part just snaps away from the gun.
Amanda (as Rowan): Let me out, let me out. Let the collar off.
Brandon: Can't believe you're killing Connor.
Eric (as Mr. Box): I cannot release the collar until everyone is finished.
Amanda: Can Rowan try to break the collar open just with her mundane strength? Is there something we can try?
Eric: There's— maybe there's always something you could try.
Julia: I— ooh. I have a crazy idea.
Brandon (as Connor): Tell Anita I love her!
Eric: Rowan, what do you do?
Amanda: I think Rowan has a cousin who's in the circus. Stick with me. And she can—
Brandon: What?
Amanda: —dislocate her shoulder—
Julia: Stick with her.
Amanda: —to skinny her arm through the hole of the collar, because she's so small.
Brandon: Why would you need to dislocate your shoulder through the hole of the collar?
Amanda: Oh, you're right. It's not over your chest. Never mind.
Julia: Hey, Eric?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Craft's gonna rip her head off to take the collar off.
Eric: Incredible. Good. I have a move for this.
Julia: Do you?
Eric: If you want to try to get around the collar, you need to unleash your powers.
Julia: All right.
Brandon: I do have a question, though, here.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Even with Craft's powers, how are you going to save Connor?
Eric: That's a good question. That's not up to me.
Amanda: Can we both unleash?
Eric: Well, unfortunately, Rowan decided to try to dislocate her own shoulder first, so Craft is gonna do something.
Brandon: But no reason.
Eric: So when you're trying to get the collar off, unleash your powers. On a 10 plus, you do it quickly, and you get a jump on the next thing you want to do. You get plus one. On a seven to nine, you can still do it, but you will still mark a condition or the GM will tell you, or Eric the GM will tell you of how you are a step behind and then a fail is a fail.
Brandon: It's so weird that they put your name in the book like that, you know?
Eric: Brandon, when you write your own moves, you can do whatever you want, baby.
Julia: Okay. I have a minus one to freak, but we'll see how this goes.
Eric: Plus one freak.
Julia: [dice roll] I got a 10 minus one for a nine.
Eric: That's good.
Brandon: That's good?
Amanda: Can you take the team?
Julia: I could do something selfish.
Amanda: Shit. You could yell, "Rowan, don't," and, like, throw Rowan under the bus, because I'm near the teacher to make him try to, like— to be distracted and look at me.
Julia: I was, unfortunately, going to, probably—
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: —throw you under the bus.
Amanda: Sorry.
Eric: Incredible.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon: You just say—
Brandon (as Connor): Why are you dislocating your shoulder?
Julia: Yeah. Craft looks over at Rowan, who looks like she's trying to straight jacket her way out of, what is essentially, a necklace.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: You're right.
Eric: Out of a collar.
Julia: And Craft goes—
Julia (as Craft): What the fuck?
Julia: And then goes—
Julia (as Craft): [grunts]
Julia: And then rips her head off of her shoulders.
Amanda: Huge.
Eric: Incredible. Okay, so you used the team there.
Julia: Yurr.
Eric: The team is down to one.
Julia: Actually, no, because we didn't add our team for when Connor told us a nice thing and revealed his truth to us.
Eric: Oh, yeah, there you go. You still got two in the team pool. When you act selfishly, say how your actions ignore or insult your teammates. I guess you're just doing it when leaving Rowan to try to Houdini her way out of the collar.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Incredible. Love it.
Julia: Because I'm on the other side at this point. I can't even, like, help Rowan, you know?
Eric: No, that's great. I love it. So you pop your head off, the collar falls off, and you can just put your head back on.
Julia: Yeah, there's a moment where, like, Craft fully dies, and then her powers resurrect her and she pops her head back on.
Eric: Absolutely, 100%.
Brandon: But how do you— does it hurt when you pull your head off? When you—
Julia: Yeah, it fucking hurts.
Brandon: Holy shit, dog.
Julia: I’m popping the stitches.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: You do that with such swiftness. You can get a bead on Connor if you want to go do something to help him. I'm gonna give you plus one to whatever you're going to do to help Connor.
Julia: I'm gonna— I think Craft runs to the edge and we— we've talked about Craft's powers being an extension of what Dr. Prometheus was able to do.
Eric: Sure.
Julia: And Craft has, for the most part, pretty much only been able to shoot lightning.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Julia: And also other electric stuff. I think Craft is going to try very hard, because Craft has been trying quite hard lately. And wants to try to, like, summon a wind storm to maybe buffet Connor's fall.
Brandon: Ooh.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: Ooh.
Julia: Or at least, like, a gust of wind that is enough to push him to the side where maybe he could grab on.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah. I mean, worst case, you could just shock me before I die and then it'd be easier, yeah.
Julia: And then you'll already be dead.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: No. I like you trying to find a new power in there. That sounds great.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, really trying to get— oh, weather manipulation instead of just electricity. Let's do another unleash your powers and I'll give you a plus one to that.
Julia: Okay. So I'm gonna have a straight zero instead of a negative one for the freak.
Eric: Yeah, there you go.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: [dice roll] A seven.
Eric: Okay.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: It's a seven.
Julia: Do I get to choose whether I mark a condition or you tell me how the effect is unstable or temporary?
Eric: Yes. You either get to mark a condition or I tell you.
Julia: Well, I think I'm pretty fucking afraid right now.
Eric: Yeah, dude.
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Hell yeah. All right. On a hit, you do it. Tell me how you conjure your wind powers to keep Connor from incredibly splashing down.
Julia: I think it starts almost like an electrical storm, like a thunderbolt from the sky. Because we've described Craft's powers as being like sometimes the sky gets dark before she unleashes a thunderbolt.
Eric: Hmm.
Julia: And I think in this case, the sky gets dark very quickly, but instead of a lightning bolt, it is a cyclone that comes down.
Brandon: Oh.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: And Craft's like—
Julia (as Craft): Ah, fuck. Okay. Well, that's new. That's, honestly, kind of cool.
Eric: I love that a cyclone comes down and, like, starts to pick up Connor. It reminds me of the— of, like, the tornadoes in Mario Kart or in—
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: —Mario 64, the ones that make you, like— make Mario spin around in a circle.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Brandon: And you hear Connor go—
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, I'm gonna hurl. Oh, I'm gonna hurl.
Eric: Connor T-posing in the cyclone, spinning around. I like that. Let's do that. I'll give you— I'll give that to you fully. Connor starts to spin around and goes up through the cyclone, but something else is caught in the cyclone as well.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: At the same time, you see a grappling hook from off— out of panel, wrap itself around the tree branch, and is extra-long, which you only know to pack extra-long rope in meters when you're working with MI6. And Vesper comes swinging down, trying to grab Connor, but also gets caught up in the cyclone.
Julia: That's so funny.
Brandon: As Connor and Vesper sort of, like, pass each other in the cyclone, Connor goes—
Brandon (as Connor): What the fuck are you doing?
Eric (as Vesper): How are you doing?
Eric: [barfs]
Julia: Craft's just yelling—
Julia (as Craft): Help, help. I don't know how— why this is gonna work. Help.
Amanda (as Rowan): So who's gonna do something, or do we just have to save our own teammates? Come on!
Eric (as Mr. Box): This is an extraordinary situation.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, my God. Unlock me.
Julia: Uh-huh.
Eric (as Mr. Box): I cannot do that until everyone crosses over the chasm.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, it doesn't really help if you spent all this time stuck to just rules. [explosion]
Eric: From the back, from, like— there's stairs that lead out from the sub, sub-basement, and it just goes [explosion] with, like, a gout of fire, as just climbing out of the door and just, like, expanding in all directions. Mr. Sizzle is just, like, growing and stretching, pulling itself out of the school, lighting everything on fire with, like, little bonfires everywhere.
Brandon: Uh-oh.
Eric: That are going to start getting bigger, but are now just, like, in the little fire phase.
Amanda: I love that HBO series.
Brandon: Little fire phase.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Little fire phase.
Eric: And Mr. Sizzle envelops Mr. Box in a gout of fire.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: And inside, you can see that the little remote control that controls all of your collars, just like melts.
Julia: Sick.
Brandon: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Amanda: But the collars are still active?
Eric: The collars are still active in a bad way, in a bad way.
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda: Oh, shit.
Julia: Fuck.
Amanda (as Rowan): Craft, could you electrocute all of us just a little bit?
Julia (as Craft): I have a cyclone going on right now and I don't know if I want to add electricity into the field.
Amanda (as Rowan): Anybody got an idea?
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): I got an idea. You students shouldn't have given me enough respect.
Eric: And [explosion]
Julia (as Craft): What?
Eric: Mr. Sizzle blasts Craft with a gout of fire, and I want you to take a powerful blow.
Julia (as Craft): What the fuck, man?
Julia: I just add my conditions, right?
Eric: Yeah, roll plus conditions marked.
Julia: All right, there's only one, so that's good. [dice roll] An eight.
Brandon: Ugh.
Eric: That's pretty good. Choose one, you lash out verbally, provoke a teammate to do foolhardy action or take advantage of your influence to inflict a condition. You give ground, your opposition gets an opportunity. You struggle past the pain and mark two conditions.
Julia: I think, unfortunately, the opposition is gonna get an opportunity.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: I think that's pretty good. Mr. Sizzle blasts you with fire, enveloping you just as much as they are enveloping Mr. Box. I think both of you, for the time being, are just surrounded on all sides by flame.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): That's what you get when you use when you use a fire spirit to be a kill. Oh, I get no respect, but I guess you should have respected me in the first place.
Julia (as Craft): I mean, to be fair, I didn't really interact with you that much to give you or not give you respect, but I did think you should have been freed.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Now, I'm gonna show you how much respect you should be giving me by envelope— by enveloping this entire school. Water's Edge Academy, more like Fire's Edge Academy. Oh, I get no respect.
Julia: Damn, dude.
Eric: The flames are creeping ever farther, licking more trees, more grass, more parts of the school, and Mr. Box and Craft fully engulfed by flames.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Connor, Rowan, what are you doing?
Amanda: I think— I mean, can Rowan try to unleash her powers? Can she try to reshape the environment so that this man-made device of electronics and, like, mere electrons cannot stand in her way?
Julia: Mere electrons.
Eric: Yeah, that's a good question. I just need you— if you want to try to overcome the collar, you gotta unleash your powers.
Amanda: Let's do it. We're fully unleashing. Channeling the full power that she has begun to see every night in her dreams, ceaselessly. Rowan is going to use her flair overcharge to channel the full capacity of her powers to overcome an obstacle, reshape your environment, or extend your senses.
Eric: So you're doing— first, let's charge your burn. What is that?
Amanda: Yep.
Eric: What are you doing?
Amanda: I roll and see how many I get. All right, so I just rolled a nine plus zero because I have no conditions marked. So I hold three burn.
Brandon: Good.
Julia: Sick.
Amanda: I will use two of those on overcharge.
Eric: So explain what that move is and then let's narrate that. Let's see what that looks like.
Amanda: So overcharge is one of my new flares I took after my last advancement, meaning that I can spend two burn to automatically get a 10 plus when I unleash my powers.
Brandon: Ooh. Hell yeah.
Julia: Nice.
Amanda: So I'm gonna do that.
Eric: All right. What does that look like?
Amanda: I think that Rowan's tattoo coming up her arm, coils around her neck and then unspools from her neck, spools around the collar, and rips it to shreds. The shreds start orbiting her as a little force of gravity is beginning to pick up, like debris, and just kind of orbiting around her in, like, a two or three-foot radius. Other students scramble back, and she, with sort of, like, almost vacant eyes, like no one behind them, maybe little even bits of static in her pupils if you look close enough, is going to extend her hands out and create a vacuum where all of the fires are burning, so they're deprived of oxygen and go out.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric: Rowan's so fucking scary. Goddamn it. Yeah, man, that collar is extremely destroyed extremely quickly. Rowan, you have plus one to do something immediately right now.
Amanda: Yeah. She's also going to try to create a vacuum around Mr. Sizzle, specifically.
Eric: I think you're directly engaging a threat.
Amanda: Sure.
Eric: That sounds about right.
Julia: Sounds like it.
Amanda: Let's do it.
Eric: Roll plus danger, my friend.
Amanda: All right. My danger is plus two right now, and I get a plus one forward to this?
Eric: Yes, you get plus one.
Amanda: [dice roll] Okay. Well, that's a three on the dice, plus three for a six.
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: Are we in a team situation? Can anyone help me?
Eric: I think if Craft wants to help, you can.
Julia: Yeah. Craft can't really see what's going on right now, but I think Craft is going to, like, I think, stumble to the side a little to try to get out of the flames and see that Rowan has, I guess, the sheer force of will removed her collar.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: And is— I think it's gonna try to point out where the center of Mr. Sizzle is—
Amanda: Cool.
Julia: —for her to aim at.
Eric: Yeah. That white hot core of the fire spirit.
Brandon: Cool.
Julia: Exactly.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: For sure.
Amanda: All right. Now, that I have a seven, I get to pick one.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Resistor, avoid blows, take something from them, create an opportunity, impress, surprise or frighten the opposition. I want to frighten Mr. Sizzle. I think he should know that I could kill him if I wanted to, by depriving all oxygen from the area around him.
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Amanda: If he's pops in a vacuum, even he will sizzle out, baby.
Eric: How were you frightening— how do you— how are you doing that?
Amanda: She is going to— imagine like a bubble, like, remember how in the comic book version, we see kind of, like, the world and then an identical panel with the world, with gravitational lines, like a map of the Earth's magnetic forces?
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: So she's gonna do that where a sphere around Mr. Sizzle, maybe like eight feet wide, is slowly getting less and less and less dense, and I think he can feel less and less and less air, and his flame, it's almost like you're turning down like a propane stove.
Brandon: Hmm.
Amanda: Like, the flame is starting to go smaller and smaller and smaller—
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: As Rowan keeps full eye contact with him, with her scary pupil-ly, Voidie eyes.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Damn, dude.
Amanda: Walking ever closer to him with the shards of the collar still orbiting her.
Brandon: Hell yeah.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Hey, miss, I need that to live. Come on. What are you doing?
Eric: And then Mr. Sizzle, I think, jumps off of Mr. Box and Craft, and just tries to envelop and sear Rowan. Because on a— when you directly engage the threat, you trade blows, so please pick a condition as you get torched up by the fire spirit.
Amanda: Oh, she's angry.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: As she should be.
Eric: Connor, on the other side of the chasm, you and Vesper finally land on the dorm side dizzy, but unheard.
Brandon: Oh, we do? Okay. Hoo, okay. Hoo.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, I just got— I got— hold on, I got— hold—
Brandon (as Connor): [groans] Don't—
Eric (as Vesper): [groans] I—
Brandon (as Connor): Don't do it on me.
Eric (as Vesper): Just find a point and look at it and don't— it holds it together. I learned that from the queen.
Brandon (as Connor): Look— roll away from me, roll away from me. I don't want it.
Eric: Connor, you're dizzy, but you can still do something. What do you want to do? You're on the other—
Amanda: Like, aren't we all dizzy, but we can still do something, Eric? Then—
Julia: No, that's—
Amanda: You're so real for that one.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: You're so real for that.
Eric: You're still on the other side. You're still collared up for the time being. You don't have your powers, but you can still do something. There's no now— because Mr. Sizzle is no longer enveloped Craft, the dorms are safe for the time being.
Julia: Woo. We did that part.
Eric: Yeah. Vesper is, like, holding onto Craft and being like—
Eric (as Vesper): I need you. This is for stabilization technique that I learned—
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Eric (as Vesper): —that the se— a super-secret, top secret, super stabilization technique, I'm— not for any other reason.
Julia (as Craft): Can you lay your hands on my not burns, then?
Brandon: Connor tries to stand up and is dizzy, and so he stumbles, and he hits Vesper and knocks her over.
Eric: Yeah. All three of you will fall over, yeah.
Amanda: Nice.
Julia (as Craft): Ow.
Brandon: Is there like a rock, a big, ol' rock near me, Eric, that I can grab?
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Brandon: Because I— you know, I'm still— I'm a human, but I'm still a big, ol' human.
Eric: For sure.
Brandon: Definitely as big— at least as big as an NFL player, you know?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: So I think I take a rock and just— sort of just, like, try to smack the, like, device itself, like the— whatever is making the anti-power bubble.
Eric: Ooh, I like that. What an ingenious idea for you to un— I— that sounds great.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I think that we'll do the same thing, but roll plus mundane.
Julia: Cute.
Eric: Because that is— that's regular old human ingenuity, my friend.
Amanda: Love it. It's a simple machine, Eric. Which one is it?
Eric: Yeah. It's the simple machine of smashing.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Seven total.
Eric: Seven.
Julia: Pretty good.
Brandon: That's a nice success.
Eric: Yeah, you can break the collar, but you can either mark a condition or I'll tell you how it's unstable or temporary. What would you like to do?
Brandon: I'll take a condition. I will take angry, yeah. Because I'm pissed at Mr. Box right now.
Julia: That's fair.
Brandon: So—
Eric: I mean, that's fair. It's— that happens. For sure. All right, you crack the collar off. You can parse out all the different sounds. You can hear the seagull. You could hear the lapping of the lake. You can hear some of your classmates burning and then— and same with the Southern part of the school behind you.
Julia: Thank God, you can hear that seagull.
Eric: But you can parse all the sounds out.
Brandon: The seagull's like, "French fries. French fries." I can also understand seagull with my hearing.
Eric: Nice, nice, nice, nice.
Brandon: I would love to use one of my transformed moves.
Eric: Please.
Brandon: That's called unstoppable.
Julia: Hell yeah, dog.
Brandon: I'm using a little bit laterally, I guess, but it's— when you smash your way through scenery to get to or away from something, roll plus danger. I would love to, quote-unquote, "smash" my way across this chasm. I want to do a big, ol' jump and land on the other side here.
Julia: Craft's like—
Julia (as Craft): Take me with you.
Eric: Here's the thing, I was gonna let you just cross the chasm with your super strength, but I think if you bring Craft with you immediately throwing yourself into danger, then I think the limb will do some moves, like attached to each other. Like, you immediately doing something afterwards. I love that.
Brandon: Okay. So I roll plus danger.
Amanda: Nice.
Brandon: Which is, for me, a plus three. And then do I forget— I take minus one for conditions, is that right?
Eric: Yeah— or no, no, no. You don't, because it's for moves.
Julia: Yeah, moves don't get impacted by conditions.
Eric: It's specific basic moves.
Brandon: Oh, right.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: Oh, right. I see, okay. Great. So—
Eric: What are the other effects of this? Just— that's it?
Brandon: —on a hit, the world breaks before you and you get what you want.
Eric: Sick.
Brandon: On a seven to nine, choose one, mark a condition, leave something behind, or take something with you.
Eric: Great.
Brandon: On a miss, you smash through, but leave devastation in your wake or wind up somewhere else, GM's choice.
Eric: Love it.
Julia: You end up at the bottom of the chasm again.
Brandon: So plus three. Here we go. [dice roll] That's a 12, motherfuckers.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: What?
Julia: Fuck yeah.
Brandon: A nine plus three.
Julia: I love when Brandon rolls well in Masks.
Eric: Yeah. I think the world does break for you when you get what you want.
Julia: I did.
Eric: Yeah. Who do you want to bring with you?
Brandon: Yeah. So Connor finally smashes the collar with the rock. And you sort of see his body sort of, like, ripple with, like, strength lines, you know?
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: And he gets that look in his eyes when he is sort of singularly focused and wants to fucking destroy something. So he's going to quickly turn to Craft and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Do you consent?
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Amanda: His voice is deeper.
Julia (as Craft): Fuck yeah, dude. Anytime.
Brandon: And he grabs Craft, and he's gonna take one big step behind and then run as fast as he can and jump all the way over that chasm, giving it the middle finger as he goes over it.
Julia: Craft just piggybacks.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Craft jumps on his back, goes—
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Brandon: And then lands on the ground on the other side with the earth sort of, like, crushing beneath his feet and some of the students stumbling as he lands.
Julia: Sick, bro.
Eric: I love that. That's incredible. You are in a perfect position right now, as Mr. Sizzle says—
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): Oh, you figured out how to break the collars off? So smart. You're definitely learning at a 10th grade level at this great public school. Oh.
Julia (as Craft): We're seniors.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): But you're too late. I've gotten exactly what I wanted. Mr. Box, you're coming with me, and so is this scary gravity lady.
Julia (as Craft): The fuck she is.
Eric: Mr. Sizzle, like, almost, like, turning a burner on higher, just goes [explosion noise] and bursts up, just surrounding Mr. Box and Rowan. And climbing higher like a towering inferno, lifting Mr. Box and Rowan up into the air.
Eric (as Mr. Sizzle): They're coming back with me to the fire realm. They can meet all my friends. There's Big Flame, Little— there's Big Flame, Little Flame, Coal Guy, and Metastophalies. They're gonna love having them all for dinner, which is just frozen dinners we reheat with ourselves. Oh.
Julia (as Craft): It's the flame realm in the sky? What the fuck?
Brandon: Who— what students are with us here, Eric?
Julia: Yeah, who hasn't gone yet? Who can I rip collars off of?
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: You can rip collars off of whoever you want.
Amanda: I— you know, I have one more burn burning a hole in my pocket. Haha.
Brandon: Nice.
Julia: Haha.
Amanda: Rowan's gonna do another flare elemental awareness.
Eric: Oh, goddamn it.
Amanda: I spent a burn and mark a condition to open my mind up to the world around me. I think as she's, like, being hoisted up into the air, not of her own accord, she's like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, wait, I can see it all perfectly.
Amanda: And hey, Eric, what's a way to diminish or defeat the powers of Mr. Sizzle? You have to answer honestly.
Brandon: That's awesome.
Eric: Oh, I know this answer. I was just waiting to see if someone would make me say it.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Eric: As you, Rowan, you open your mind to the elements, you almost see the four forces of physics—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —intertwined with the four elements of the Avatar, and they all spin around you.
Brandon: And the four humors.
Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Of course.
Eric: Yeah. We see bile—
Julia: Phlegm, bile.
Eric: —as well.
Amanda: Uh-hmm. They always say this at P.S. 118.
Eric: And you understand the symbiotic relationship between everything, strong force, weak force, gravitational force, and that other one I don't really understand. And only— and as earth and air are diametrically opposed, so are fire and water. And that would make sense to pair Mr. Sizzle and Mr. Box together, because although Mr. Sizzle is encased in the kiln, there must be a failsafe when the other teacher is a refrigerator.
Amanda: Hmm. So we're all being hoisted into the air, right? Mr. Box, Mr. Sizzle and me?
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: What an incredible memoir. Rowan is going to use her powers to force open Mr. Box's freezer and try to get Mr. Sizzle in there.
Eric: Hmm.
Brandon: But what about all the ice creams?
Amanda: The ice creams, Brandon, have to die.
Julia: Well, those will melt and become the element of water.
Amanda: Yeah. Am I directly engaging?
Eric: Yeah, I think you are absolutely directly engaging a threat.
Amanda: All right, so I have plus two to danger.
Julia: Let's go.
Amanda: And do I still have my plus one forward or not anymore?
Eric: No, that was just for-- related to that.
Amanda: All right, eight plus two for 10, folks.
Brandon: Yeah.
Eric: Who cares? Incredible.
Brandon: Let's go, refrigerators.
Amanda: Let's go, refrigerators. So I'm gonna take his autonomy of movement from him.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: Good.
Amanda: And Mr. Box is allied with us in theory, right? He wants to stop Mr. Sizzle?
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
Amanda: Got it. Okay. So let me make an opportunity for my allies and just yell toward Mr. Box—
Amanda (as Rowan): Mr. Box, open your hole.
Julia: Oh, Jesus Christ. We can't keep doing this.
Eric: Ah, the voice modulator inside of Mr. Box is melting, so you hear—
Eric (as Mr. Box): That is inappropriate to say to anyone--
Amanda (as Rowan): Open it up!
Amanda: And then she go— Eric, name me a Met from the late 2000s.
Eric: Oh, I think this is a Mike Piazza situation, if we're talking about a catcher.
Julia: Of course, it's a Mike Piazza.
Amanda: And she goes—
Amanda (as Rowan): Mike Piazza!
Amanda: And hurls Mr. Sizzle right toward the hopefully open freezer door of Mr. Box.
Eric: Absolutely. You owe me. I think because you chose those, we're still trading blows. So I think that Mr. Box throws their doors open and you are stuffing Mr. Sizzle into the refrigerator. But at the last gasp, Mr. Sizzle pours all of the energy from the realm of fire, trying to conjure hands to hold onto you, searing your face with 5,000 degree heat. I need you to take a powerful blow as you try to shove Mr. Sizzle in there.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: You know what the most fucked up part about this situation is?
Eric: Yeah?
Brandon: What.
Julia: Rowan probably wasn't alive when Mike Piazza was a Met.
Brandon: Mike Piazza sounds like an American who moved to Italy and opened a pizza place and named it Mike Piazza's.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: I just rolled a five plus one because I have one condition marked for a six. So—
Brandon: That's good.
Amanda: —on a miss, I stand strong, mark potential and say—
Julia: Let's go.
Amanda: —how I weather the blow.
Eric: Goddamn.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: Ta, ta, da, da, da, da, ta, ta.
Amanda: Let's go, girls.
Brandon: Fuck you fire.
Amanda: How do I want to weather the blow?
Brandon: How do you want to weather the blow? Screaming in pain, always a good option.
Amanda: I think Rowan has been practicing creating a vacuum seal of herself. Like she shared with Craft—
Eric: Goddamn.
Amanda: —if it ever comes to it, and genuinely, you need to control her powers, creating a vacuum where there is not matter for her to manipulate, is how it's gotta be. And so Rowan just sort of, like, turns her face to the side, like looking away from Mr. Sizzle, so he can see through the gap in the freezer, and see the, like, almost minute, like one millimeter gap between the tendrils of flame and her skin.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: And she looks him in the eye, I'm picturing like one of his eyes peering out the corner of the freezer as Rowan gets eye contact with him.
Eric: Yeah, just like the flame hands just grasping at anything—
Amanda: Uh-hmm.
Eric: —grasping at Rowan's face.
Amanda: And Rowan just says—
Amanda (as Rowan): Night, night, motherfucker.
Amanda: And slams the freezer door shut.
Julia (as Craft): Hell yeah, dog. S
Amanda: She also whipped off like a belt and just belts Mr. Box's freezer just in case.
Brandon: At that same exact time, if you'll allow, I would love for Connor to rip off the collar of his fellow student, Slingshot.
Eric: Sure.
Brandon: And that's a student that it can, like Mr. Fantastic, rubber band himself backwards and then sling people forward.
Eric: Yeah, sure.
Brandon: Or sling things.
Eric: Sure, sure, sure.
Brandon: And he's gonna rip off his collar and say—
Brandon (as Connor): Sling me.
Brandon: And I would love to sling myself at Mr. Box here, because I want to beat the shit out of this stupid refrigerator.
Amanda: Hell yeah, dude.
Julia: And he's the only thing holding the giant fire in place, Brandon.
Brandon: Well, you see, Julia, as a consequence of this, I'm going to lock that fire into this freezer forever if I—
Julia: Ah.
Amanda: Oh, like, crumble like a ball? Nice.
Brandon: —crumble it, yes.
Eric: Hmm, hmm.
Eric (as Slingshot): One slingshot coming up.
Julia: Cool.
Eric (as Slingshot): Hey, after this—
Julia: Good voice.
Eric (as Slingshot): —can you give me some of Craft's weed?
Julia: Craft's right there, being like—
Julia (as Craft): What do you want? Do you want bud? Do you want—
Brandon (as Connor): Sling me!
Eric: [slingshot noise] wang, wang, wang, wang, wang, wang, wang, wang.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Amanda: Not wang, wang, wang, wang, wang, wang.
Eric: That's what slingshot sounds like.
Julia: He says that out loud. It's not his body making the noise.
Brandon: Every time.
Eric: And then we see Rowan— yeah. And then Rowan shoves Mr. Sizzle in the air. Rowan is like suspended in the air, holding herself up with gravity, shoving Mr. Sizzle into Mr. Box, and then, "Whoop," [explosion] as Connor just collides with Mr. Box.
Amanda: You, like, gut punch him in the fridge.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: You know? Like, the fridge door apart.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric (as Mr. Box): Oh, my refrigerator.
Brandon (as Connor): You piece of shit excuse for a teacher.
Eric (as Mr. Box): You don't see this as a moment of practice.
Brandon: And as they hurtled down towards the earth, Connor shoves Mr. Box beneath him so he can land directly on him.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Julia: Meanwhile, Craft is— Craft's rolling a blunt for Slingshot, being like—
Julia (as Craft): Whatever you want, man, here.
Amanda: Rowan lets herself down easily from mid-air, but lets Connor and Mr. Box continue with momentum, because Connor's got this.
Brandon: Or maybe adds a little bit more momentum.
Julia: Hmm.
Brandon: Who can say?
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: No, that's great. I love the superhero slide of you putting Mr. Box under you, and just like it— driving into the ground.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: I 100% see that in my mind. I love that.
Amanda: Hmm.
Brandon: And when we get to the ground, I would love to try to smash compress Mr. Box into the smallest cube I can.
Eric: I love that. I think you're directly engaging a threat. I want to see if there are consequences to the thing if you get ouch in return.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Do you get ouch in return?
Brandon: Do I get ouch in return?
Amanda: Mommy, do I get ouched in return?
Brandon: Mommy, do I get ouched in return?
Eric: What's happening?
Amanda: I rolled good too many times. I'm broken.
Julia: Please, madam.
Brandon: Well, I got a four on the dice, plus three—
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: —it's a seven.
Eric: All right.
Julia: That's good.
Eric: That's a seven. So you can pick one, you can resist or reward blows, take something from them, create an opportunity for allies, impress, surprise or frighten the opposition.
Brandon: Yeah, I'm just gonna resist or reward their blows. So any Freon—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —that escapes or sharp metal bits, it's just like, rolls off his back and he's just—
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: —like—
Brandon (as Connor): [screams]
Brandon: And crushes the motherfucker into a cube.
Eric: Yeah, the electrical zaps, Freon coming out, also, like when you punch one part of Mr. Box, Mr. Sizzle sees that as an opportunity to get out, but you immediately punch that down.
Amanda: Nice.
Eric: No, I do it. And there you go, bang, bang. Mr. Sizzle is very— Mr. Box is now Mr. Smaller Box, and Mr. Sizzle is encased inside.
Julia: It's very funny.
Brandon: And Connor's like—
Brandon (as Connor): You were a rectangle before. Now, you're a real, Mr. Box.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Now, that's not how I would have done it, but I like the ingenuity!
Eric: Principal Wordsmith is standing behind you, saying that.
Brandon (as Connor): Uh—
Brandon: And Con— you could sort of, like, see Connor shrink a little bit and he's like—
Brandon (as Connor): I was gonna die because of Mr. Box.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Oh, you're in the shop class rotation. How's it going?
Brandon (as Connor): Well, I killed the teacher, I think, so—
Eric (as Wordsmith): We have backups, but what did you learn?
Brandon (as Connor): I learned to not trust authority.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Not the lesson we were looking for. That's all right, son. You can write me a report after we're done.
Brandon (as Connor): Principal Wordsmith, I'm still a little bit real in the bloods. You know, you can see the blood pumping. It's— yeah.
Eric (as Wordsmith): That's totally fine. Just want your class summary report of five pages in the next two days. Take your time.
Amanda (as Rowan): Wait, sorry, sorry.
Julia (as Craft): Damn.
Amanda (as Rowan): We just fully prevented a teacher from killing a bunch of students and also another teacher, and you're telling us we have homework?
Eric (as Wordsmith): That's the thing about growing up. They don't call it a homework anymore. They're reports.
Julia: Damn. It's fucked up.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Good job, everyone. This is one of the best shop classes that we've had this year.
Julia: Craft turns around and goes—
Julia (as Craft): Did anyone get a video of me doing the cool cyclone thing? I just want to know.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Oh, I definitely did.
Julia (as Craft): Cool. Can you send that to me?
Eric (as Wordsmith): Absolutely. But first, let's put it on the highlight reel.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, fucking sick.
Eric: The highlight reel is the thing that happens at the end of every day on the big screen, where the grades are usually put. Whoever did the best
Amanda: Whoa.
Julia (as Craft): This is the first time I've been on the highlight reel. This is sick as fuck.
Eric (as Wordsmith): Now, don't think of where all the cameras are, but they got a really good shot of you ripping— taking your head off, taking the collar off, and then doing the cyclone, saving both Vesper and Connor. We did also see Vesper vomiting and then Connor—
Julia: Cool.
Eric (as Wordsmith): —getting hit by that vomit in the cyclone.
Brandon (as Connor): No.
Julia: I forward that to Emily Slaughter.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: With a, like, middle finger up emoji.
Eric: There's a scene where Emily Slaughter is like, I don't know, torturing some guy.
Julia: Probably.
Eric: And then looks down at her phone and says—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Why is Water's Edge Academy calling me?
Eric: And then she walks out of the black site and, like, takes the hood off that she's wearing, and she says—
Eric (as Emily Slaughter): Oh, what did Shelley do again?
Eric: And it's like—
Eric (as Wordsmith): This is Princ--
Eric: You can see you through the phone.
Julia: It comes out of the phone, yeah.
Eric (as Wordsmith): This is Principal Wordsmith. I just wanted to tell you that Shelley Craft was on the highlight reel today. It's been forwarded to you.
Eric: So now, there's like a text message from you with middle fingers, and then the official one from the school.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Sick.
Brandon: Which also has middle fingers, weirdly.
Eric: No, those are—
Julia: Thumbs ups.
Eric: Yeah, those are thumbs up—
Julia: In the middle.
Eric: —but they look really big because they, like, pop out—
Brandon: Hmm.
Eric: —because of Wordsmith setting up.
Julia: Uh-hmm.
Amanda: Ah.
Eric: Wordsmith sends these emails.
Eric (as Wordsmith): The best part of education is telling a parent or guardian how well their student is progressing.
eric: And also, I'm gonna give you some respect from Wordsmith, Craft.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Fuck yeah, dude.
Amanda: Huge, huge day for Craft.
Julia (as Craft): What a day. What a day. I got extra credit from reciting poetry. I did a cool new thing with my power, and now Wordsmith respects me more.
Brandon (as Connor): Craft, thank you for saving my life.
Julia (as Craft): Oh, yeah, that too. I got to save Connor's life.
Amanda (as Rowan): Shelley, that was amazing.
Amanda: And real quick before we start, like, helping the other students to take off their collars and, like, clean up the wreckage or whatever.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Before we leave the field, Rowan wants to, like, gather her teammates around and be like—
Amanda (as Rowan): Come crouch, crouch version.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Amanda: Which is where Connor and Craft crouch so that they are at eye level with Rowan.
Julia (as Craft): Team huddle, team huddle.
Eric: TeamCast is all—
Julia (as Craft): No, TeamCast, get the fuck out of here.
Amanda: Rowan takes off her button down to reveal, like, a tank top underneath, and then puts it over—
Julia (as Craft): Whoa.
Amanda: —TeamCast's face, and she pushes him away.
Eric (as TeamCast): Searching for a controller, searching for a controller.
Amanda (as Rowan): Guys, that was amazing. People would have died. Connor, you would have died. I would have died.
Brandon (as Connor): I would have died.
Amanda (as Rowan): We did it.
Brandon (as Connor): Shelly, you did die for a second., technically.
Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Okay. Why are we all calling me Shelley just because I did a wonderful thing?
Brandon (as Connor): Sorry, Craft.
Julia (as Craft): I'm still Craft.
Brandon (as Connor): You did die.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you. That was incredible.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, I died for like a millisecond, and then I was good again.
Amanda (as Rowan): But wait, no one's like— that wasn't too scary of me, right? No one's scared of me?
Julia (as Craft): No. Sick as fuck.
Brandon (as Connor): No. That was cool as fuck. I killed a teacher.
Amanda: And Rowan is doing one of her team moves. When we share a triumphant celebration, I ask if there's any fear in your eyes. If you say no, I take plus one forward and mark potential.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. You're cool as fuck all the time.
Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you so much.
Amanda: I marked three potential in this session.
Brandon: Shit.
Eric: Yeah. Craft, did you— I think you're triumphant, too, if you want to do your team move.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah, I was gonna say, hey, guys, like, was that cool? Like, do you— I know I'm, like, kind of the loser in this group.
Amanda (as Rowan): What?
Julia (as Craft): Do you guys respect me?
Amanda (as Rowan): Don't say that about my best friend and second leader.
Brandon: Connor punches you in the face.
Brandon (as Connor): Shut the fuck up.
Amanda: Rowan slaps you with an air hand. It's just the force of gravity, not even a slap.
Julia (as Craft): Are these out of respect?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yes.
Brandon (as Connor): Yes, of course.
Julia (as Craft): That's sick as fuck.
Amanda (as Rowan): Bitch. Sorry, that didn't feel good. That didn't feel good. I tried it, it didn't feel good. I'm sorry, I take it back. I take it back. I take it back.
Julia: I'm gonna get my influence over Connor back if I don't already have that.
Eric: You already have influence, but that means that, Craft, you get to shift Connor's labels however you want—
Julia: Oh, yeah, dog.
Eric: —and you get one potential.
Brandon: Ooh.
Julia: Your savior should go up, Connor.
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: And I'll say bring your danger down one.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
Julia: Or do you want mundane down one?
Brandon: No, it's fine. It's all good.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Now, when I share a triumphant celebration with someone, I clear a condition if they treat me like a perfectly normal person.
Julia: Yeah.
Brandon: And I mark potential if they raise my— they praise my powers or abilities. Now, are you treating me like a perfectly normal person?
Julia: Yeah, you're a person. It was cool as hell.
Amanda (as Rowan): Connor, you're cool as a dude and as a super, you know? Like, both.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. I thought that was really cool when I got to piggyback.
Brandon (as Connor): I killed a guy. Guys, I killed a guy.
Julia (as Craft): That was a robot.
Amanda (as Rowan): I mean, he's kind of in deep freeze. Oh, yeah, no. Fridge is kind of dead.
Brandon (as Connor): Oh, no.
Eric (as Mr. Box): It's fine. No, you did it.
Julia (as Craft): It's a robot. They can just restart him.
Eric: Yeah. Wordsmith's dragging Mr. Box and Mr. Sizzle away.
Brandon (as Connor): Was it cool when I did that big jump?
Amanda (as Rowan): Yes.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Oh, my God. It was so cool. I got to jump over that ravine twice today. It was crazy.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah. I've never done that before. It was awesome.
Julia (as Craft): Sick as fuck.
Amanda (as Rowan): Do— I'm gonna fail because I didn't do my grappling hook?
Julia (as Craft): Nah.
Brandon (as Connor): I don't— there was no one to grade and it was—
Julia (as Craft): I think we— I think if the great teacher gets destroyed, we all get to pass.
Amanda (as Rowan): Sick.
Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.
Eric (as Vesper): Yeah, I think that's— hey—
Brandon (as Connor): Get the fuck out of here.
Julia: Goddamn it, Vesper.
Amanda: Rowan is gonna sling her grappling hook, the handle, over her shoulder and accidentally, quote-unquote, "send" it at Vesper, to try to grapple her.
Eric: Vesper throws up a shield of just vibrations and it just goes ping off of it.
Julia: It's pretty cool.
Brandon: Cool.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, that was weird.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn't know if you thought you were the only one with cool powers that can do cool stuff.
Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, yeah?
Eric (as Vesper): Hey, can I just, like, talk to Shelley Craft for a second?
Amanda: Rowan's gonna send a tremor through the earth to try to knock her over.
Julia (as Craft): It's fine. It's fine.
Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): Hey, Craft, look at me. Look at me. If you need me to beat her up, you let me know.
Julia (as Craft): I can do that.
Amanda (as Rowan): I'll beat up a woman. I'll do it faster than a man. I know what that says about me, but I'll do it faster. I'm ready.
Eric (as Vesper): So— wow, you were really able to take care of yourself, and you took care of Connor. I feel like I just kind of got in the way, swinging in there.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Vesper): I'm able to admit when I'm wrong.
Julia (as Craft): Wow. That's really healthy for you.
Eric (as Vesper): Thanks.
Julia (as Craft): Yeah.
Eric (as Vesper): And it's really healthy for you if you would, you know, I don't know, go get a sloppy egg sandwich with me.
Julia (as Craft): I do like a sloppy egg sandwich.
Brandon: Is that a metaphor?
Amanda: Is this how we're saying lesbian now?
Julia: We can just just— yeah, yeah.
Eric (as Vesper): Hey, can we walk farther away from Rowan and Connor?
Julia (as Craft): Nah. I can't.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, well—
Julia (as Craft): We just had a moment.
Eric (as Vesper): Oh, well, my— the motorcycle I stole from shop class, it's right over there, and I don't think Mr. Box is watching any of that stuff.
Julia (as Craft): I don't— I really don't think so. I think he's pretty destroyed right now.
Eric (as Vesper): All right, let's go.
Julia: Craft turns around—
Julia (as Craft): Is it cool if I go get a sloppy egg sandwich right now?
Amanda (as Rowan): I don't want to hear about that.
Julia (as Craft): Okay.
Brandon (as Connor): Is that— yeah, I don't— look, I don't know much about—
Amanda (as Rowan): No, no, no. Say less, say less, say less. Connor, say less, say less.
Julia (as Craft): All right.
Eric: [motorcycle revving noises]
Julia: Craft hops on a motorcycle and rides away for a sloppy egg sandwich.
Amanda (as Rowan): Have fun. Love you. Make good choices.
Eric: [sings Moving Out by Billy Joel] I'm moving out.
Julia: There we go. We did it.
Eric: Hey, let's do some end of session boots, huh, shall we?
Amanda: Yay.
Brandon: Wee.
Amanda: Hooray.
Eric: All right. At the end of every session, choose one, did you clow— grow closer to the team? Did you grow into your own image of yourself or did you grow away from the team?
Amanda: I can start. I think Rowan grew into her own image of herself. She saw herself as somebody who could tap into her most powerful abilities when the situation really calls for it. So I'm gonna shift freak up and mundane down.
Eric: Sick.
Julia: Hell yeah. I think Craft absolutely felt like she grew more into herself.
Eric: Hell yeah.
Julia: You know? Like, she unleashed a cool new power. That's sick as fuck. She's feeling great about herself right now.
Brandon: Hell yeah, dude.
Eric: Cool.
Julia: She was on the fucking highlight reel. Goddamn.
Eric: Growing in the image of yourself, yeah, shift your labels.
Julia: Yeah. I think I'm gonna shift my mundane down.
Eric: Sick.
Julia: And I'm gonna raise my freak up because I did a cool new thing with my powers.
Eric: Nice.
Brandon: Yeah.
Amanda: You're not a normal girl. You're a cool girl.
Julia: I'm a cool girl.
Eric: Yeah.
Brandon: You'll fight a girl faster than you'll fight a boy.
Amanda: I don't know what that says about me, but it's true.
Eric: And Connor, what's going on with you, bud?
Brandon: Well, I think I grew closer to the team.
Eric: Noice.
Amanda: Yay.
Julia: Yay.
Brandon: I think Rowan is the one that need to feel welcome. I mean, they both did, but Rowan does not currently have influence over me, so I'm going to give—
Amanda: Aw.
Brandon: —influence to Rowan.
Eric: Nice.
Amanda: Thank you.
Brandon: And then I can either clear a condition or mark potential. My conditions are cleared from my team move, so I'm going to mark another potential. But this is actually going to be the first potential of my next go around.
Julia: Yo.
Eric: Ooh, you got a level-up, buddy?
Amanda: He did.
Brandon: Because I got a level-up, baby.
Amanda: Hooray.
Brandon: And as requested by our GM, I have pre-chosen what I would like to do.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: And I would like to do mutate further and reveal another two new abilities chosen from any playbook.
Eric: Oh, my God.
Julia: Cool.
Amanda: Cool. Two?
Julia: Two new abilities from any playbook?
Amanda: That's crazy.
Brandon: Yeah, because I want more powers.
Eric: Wait, so what does it look like when you mutate further and what do you get?
Julia: I really like the image of, like, Connor wakes up the next morning and is now changed somehow.
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Julia: Like puberty.
Brandon: Like puberty.
Eric: Here's a question for you, what do— what are abilities?
Brandon: They are your superhero powers, so my inhuman might and my supernatural senses.
Eric: Oh, you had literal superpowers.
Julia: That's so cool.
Eric: I thought it was gonna be moves. That's sick as fuck.
Brandon: Yeah.
Julia: That's really cool.
Amanda: What did you do?
Julia: What did you take?
Brandon: So from my playbook, I'm going to take transmuting flesh, because that's cool.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: That's so sick.
Brandon: And then also I get two, so I'll also, I'm going to from the delinquent playbook, choose power negation.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: Oh, that's cool.
Julia: That's sick as fuck.
Amanda: That's awesome.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: That's awesome. I wish I can do that.
Amanda: What happens to your body? If you mutate further, what happens?
Brandon: Well—
Amanda: Because I do have an idea, but it's pretty fucked up.
Brandon: Oh, pitch me ideas. I will— can't guarantee I'll choose it, but pitch me an idea.
Amanda: Brandon, you have a history of sweet bird friends—
Brandon: Taking off my shirt.
Amanda: —in previous things of Join the Party. What if you sprout a second small head—
Brandon: Oh, no.
Julia: No.
Amanda: —one of your shoulders?
Julia: Too scary. Don't like.
Amanda: No? Too scary?
Brandon: That's really good, but too— but very scary.
Amanda: Pretty fucked up. Okay.
Eric: I— let me pitch you something, man.
Brandon: Uh-hmm.
Eric: Remember when you were slamming Mr. Box— let me say that again.
Julia: No, keep it in.
Eric: Hey, remember when you were slamming Mr. Box?
Brandon: Remember when you were getting the sloppy egg sandwich with Mr. Box?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Hmm. Uh-hmm.
Eric: And there was, like, electricity everywhere, and the Freon went everywhere. And then you were getting enveloped by the flames from Mr. Sizzle trying to escape. I can imagine that the combination of all of those chemicals and spiritual power get into your bloodstream that allow you to change even further. And I think that the flesh manipulation, that just makes sense to me. That you can, like, all of a sudden, now you have, like, a— now, you can make your hand into, like a big spike mase and stuff and, like, that's cool.
Julia: Cool.
Eric: But the power manipulation is, like, you have spiritual energy inside of you that is now melding with your senses to understand— now your senses can understand powers and you— it's not only just negation. It's about like— it might not be like a neutralizing gas, but it's about understanding fundamentally where power come from and being able to work around— and work around it and against it.
Brandon: I like that. I like— so here was my thought, I like the— I like that a lot. So the first one I love, I think the way that Connor knows that he now can transmute his flesh, whatever that means, is that when he finally goes to bed—
Amanda: Third ball.
Brandon: —it's like he's— what?
Eric: Amanda said third ball.
Julia: Have we considered at all?
Eric: We're recording on a Thursday. That's how you know it's different.
Brandon: When he finally goes to bed, he feels like— you know, he's the most tired he's ever been. He's like— he just is— absolutely feels like he's, like, melts into a puddle.
Eric: Uh-hmm.
Brandon: When he wakes up, he's literally a puddle.
Eric: Nice.
Julia: Damn.
Eric: Let's go.
Brandon: Because of the fire and the Freon, the fire, he can melt now. And now, with the Freon, he could, you know, maybe make himself harder.
Eric: Right. Quote-unquote, "freezing your flesh into different things."
Amanda: Wow.
Julia: Cool.
Brandon: Yeah, I love that.
Amanda: It's like reconstitute every day.
Eric: Yeah, for sure.
Brandon: So those are, like, the first things he notices, but I'm sure there'll be more along the way, but—
Amanda: Wow.
Brandon: —I think the power negation— the one thing— the thing that I was thinking of is just that he's really been practicing his negotiator skills.
Eric: Oh.
Brandon: And so maybe with that— the things you're describing there, like the actual metaphysical stuff, but now, with his words, he can actually negate powers.
Julia: Damn.
Amanda: Cool.
Eric: That's pretty good. Yeah, you can hear where powers come from and understand the room and talk them down.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I love that.
Brandon: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: Whoa. It's like unlocking another octave, like the opposite of what happens to our hearing, right?
Brandon: Oh.
Amanda: Like, you can, like, hear with your super hearing more resonance, literally.
Brandon: That's fun. I like that.
Amanda: In people with power.
Brandon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool.
Eric: I think that we see Connor melt into a puddle in the morning, and then we kind of take one step backwards, and we see that Connor is on a screen and there's a big TV up in Principal Wordsmith's office. He says—
Eric (as Wordsmith): Interesting. Their-- he’s getting better.
Eric: And then he reaches down into a mini fridge that's next to his desk now, and it's Mr. Box.
Brandon: Oh, no.
Eric: And then Mr. Sizzle hands him a hot coffee, and Principal Wordsmith closes it, and looks back at Connor, takes a drink from the coffee.
[theme]