Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Eric: Hey, all you super friends. You want to get good together? You want to skip math together? You want to punch bad guys together? It's not that I haven't used my words, it's that nobody listens to me and I can shoot fire. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[theme]

Eric: I'm gonna skip the cover today because I just want to tell you what this is about— what this arc is about.

Julia: What's going on?

Eric: So we'll fig— we'll fill in the cover later. Maybe it'll be the last thing we do is like—

Amanda: Oh.

Eric: —I'm Stan Lee telling you how all the beams and booms are gonna go and then you gotta do all the work.

Julia: Hmm.

Eric: By filling in the cover for me.

Julia: Can I suggest? A lot of times comic books will sometimes provide, like, blank comics so that you can take them to an artist at, like, a Comic Con to then, like—

Brandon: Oh.

Julia: —illustrate the cover itself.

Eric: Oh, that's tight.

Julia: So maybe we do that after we've read the comic and we're like, "Oh my God. I want this person to make a cover about this part of the comic."

Eric: Ooh, that's good. I like that. Okay, yeah. I think explicitly, from Join the Party comics, they're leaning into that, but there is one piece drawn on already. It's a little speech bubble in, like, the lettering of Wordsmith, that big, bold, like embossed lettering, it says, "What's in the box?"

Julia: Oh, no.

Brandon: What's in the box?

Eric: What's in the box?

Amanda: "What's in the box, then?" Sorry, is that not the impression we're all doing?

Eric: I love it when a Victorian orphan taps Brad Pitt on the shoulder and tells him to go and says, "Oi, hey bruv, what's in the box?"

Brandon: "Hey, bruv, what's in the box?"

Eric: "Please, sir, can I have some more box?"

Julia: "Please, sir, where's Gwyneth Paltrow?"

Eric: "What? You want box?"

Amanda: "That’s her head then? In the box?"

Eric: "Hey, bruv, I want a Cheeky Nando's with a box."

Brandon: Oh, that's what's in the box, a Cheeky Nando's.

Julia: Oh.

Eric: It's a Cheeky Nando's and, like—

Amanda: You're right.

Eric: —a jacket potato with beans on it.

Julia: Ooh. Oh.

Brandon: A jacket— what the fuck is a jacket potato?

Eric: That's what they call a baked potato, Brandon, a jacket potato.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: No?

Eric: And there are, like—

Amanda: Yes, yes. This is not a prank.

Eric: There are foo— and there are food trucks. Like, various or random food trucks that also have, like, Instagram channels where they, like, make the food truck stuff for them. I really love the ones where, like, they take to, like a halal place, and they'll bring, like, a bag of— some sort of chips, and then I have to turn into— I put, like, the halal on it. But the guys have a jacket potato truck, and they're like, "Oi, yeah, bruv, give me extra beans on that." And I'm like, "Jesus Christ."

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: And then you're putting on brown sauce. That's crazy.

Julia: Hmm, that sounds good, though.

Brandon: I feel like you guys went to Wikipedia and changed it just before this recording to fuck with me.

Julia: Yeah. That's what we did.

Amanda: That would be an incredible prank, but this is not a prank.

Julia: What if we're trying to slowly Mandela affect Brandon?

Amanda: Julia, we could do that so easy.

Brandon: You really could.

Julia: There we go. There we go.

Eric: Okay. Each of you gets called down to the principal's office—

Julia: Uh-oh.

Eric: —when you are in— doing whatever class you're doing. What incredibly embarrassing school activity are— each of the three of you doing when through the PA system, literally, the words come to principal Wordsmith's office gets, like, shove— it almost gets extruded through the PA system.

Amanda: Oh.

Eric: So it's like—

Brandon: Delicious pasta.

Eric: Yeah. Like, Wordsmith's words got put through a garlic press.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: That's so cool.

Julia: Badminton.

Brandon: Badminton.

Eric: Hell yeah. Oh, you're back in the auxiliary gym immediately?

Julia: Hmm.

Eric: That sucks.

Julia: Bad memories here.

Eric: You get hit in the face with a birdie because you have a 5,000-yard stare.

Julia: Yeah. Thinking of the torture that I experienced last time I was in here.

Eric: If the government does it, it's super-powered, enhancement, collision techniques.

Brandon: Right.

Amanda: Sure.

Brandon: Yeah. Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan Miriam Rosen): Poetry.

Brandon: Poetry.

Amanda (as Rowan): Is creative writing club. Shut up.

Brandon: Oh.

Amanda (as Rowan): It’s good for expression.

Brandon: It's only embarrassing, because Rowan thinks it's embarrassing.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: It's actually very sweet, and Rowan writes really good poetry.

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks.

Brandon: Connor is swimming, and he's in a Speedo. So he shows up to the principal's office in a Speedo.

Julia: Does he at least have, like, a towel around his shoulders?

Brandon: Yeah.

Julia: Okay,

Brandon: But a small one. Like a—

Julia: Fair enough.

Brandon: —hand-sized towel.

Julia: It— that's what a normal towel looks like on Connor.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: That's true.

Amanda: Because he's so big.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: I'm trying to decide where Connor is, like, teenage unawareness starts and Brandon's improv, yes, banana begins.

Julia: Hmm.

Brandon: Yeah, it's— to be clear, it's not confidence. It's the fact that an adult told him to come to the place now, and so he ran away.

Eric: It would— right. It would have looked worse to have— tried to wrap a tiny towel around you than just kind of doing it.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Eric: That's what I'm trying to do, is bridge, yes, banana and Connor. Like, I'm trying to find where those attach.

Brandon: I did like the idea in my head that I just put together of, like, a hand towel-sized towel that he just put in front of him and behind him on his waist so it looks like—

Amanda: Oh, good.

Brandon: —he's fucking Roman or Greek or something.

Amanda: Wine glass style. Yeah, yeah.

Eric: No, I like that. too. That's pretty good.

Amanda: Efficient, effective. More men should show off high hip is my thing.

Julia: I agree.

Brandon: Hmm.

Julia: As we talked about in the Marvel swimsuit episode of Party Planning.

Amanda: Uh-hmm. Join the Patreon.

Brandon: I disagree, but I, here, support your ideas.

Amanda: Thank you.

Julia: I think more men should feel empowered to do that. How about that?

Brandon: That's fair. That's fair.

Eric: We cut to the next panel, and the three of you are standing in front of Wordsmith's desk. Everything about Wordsmith's office is, like, square or very, very rectangular because it matches kind of his whole body shape.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: Because, you know, he's always wearing these midnight blue outfits. On casual Fridays, they're satin or velour. But most of the time, they're big suits and you saw him in the midnight blue coveralls. The players saw that when he was in the sewers. And, of course, he has that, like, full face mask with no eye cutouts, no mouth cutouts, just the full blue mask. But he's like— he is a rectangle, right? He's like— when you think about a rectangle that is two squares up and one square wide, that is his body, right? So everything in his office is that shape. His desk is two squares wide and one square up.

Julia: I thought you're gonna say it's like a really tall, narrow desk and I was like, "A standing desk, sure."

Amanda: Sure. Just a TV cabinet.

Brandon: Solid oak.

Eric: I mean, well, behind him, like the bookshelves behind him are just like the full wall in creating another rectangle, except for, of course, the Libro de Libereco, the ancient tome that gives Wordsmith his power—

Julia: Hmm.

Eric: —in a designated spot that sits on its display with a little light pointing down on it.

Amanda: Eric, you describing Wordsmith's casual Friday fits does have me imagining Wordsmith in all of Tony Soprano's outfits.

Julia: Ooh.

Amanda: Which I just kind of offer to the rest of you. Like, imagine, you know, Tony Soprano's, like, halfway unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt on Wordsmith. Maybe that's the Wordsmith resort wear collection.

Julia: Oh, you mean my summer look?

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: Wordsmith might not fit into Target boys XL.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. So even just with the proportions of everything, and even— the three of you being, you know, cartoonish-sized, but still humanoid-esque, it is very easy to be dwarfed coming into something that is so linear and regimented. I think we get a panel over Wordsmith's shoulder, sitting the three of you, Connor in his Speedo, Craft with a welt from a badminton birdie—

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: —on her head, and Rowan holding, I assume, two different notebooks.

Amanda: Oh, a 100%. There's a secret pink one for poetry.

Eric: One in each hand. And on that panel, we have the lettering of Wordsmith's dialog.

Eric (as Wordsmith): I have a favor that I need the three of you to do for me, and it's important.

Eric: And the important is like wavy as it comes up.

Julia: Ooh.

Julia (as Shelley Craft): Okay. So what are we talking about here, favor-wise?

Brandon (as Connor Lyons): I hope it involves swimming. I'm making jokes because I'm uncomfortable.

Amanda (as Rowan): Why does it smell like chlorine in here?

Brandon (as Connor): Because I was swimming.

Julia (as Craft): Connor, do you want, like, my sweatshirt to tie around your butt or something?

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, do you— can I borrow that?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Brandon (as Connor): Thank you.

Julia: Craft, like, takes it off and only has a sports bra underneath.

Julia (as Craft): Here you go.

Eric (as Wordsmith): This is not better!

Brandon: The funny thing is that Connor's butt is invisible, is transparent, but it's huge.

Julia: But, you know, it's covered in the Speedo right now, so we can see the shape of it.

Brandon: Oh. That's the only time you could see it.

Eric: Wordsmith reaches back and grabs, like, a midnight blue suit jacket and throws it at Craft.

Julia (as Craft): Oh, sick. Can I keep this?

Brandon (as Connor): That's a look.

Amanda (as Rowan): You don't got one in my size, do you?

Julia (as Craft): I think you would just swim in it—

Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, nice.

Julia (as Craft): —Rowan. No offense.

Brandon (as Connor): Is that a joke at my expense?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): What can we do you for, principal?

Eric: Wordsmith rummages around in his desk, pulls out a big brass key, goes down into the lower compartment in his desk, open, and you hear— there is like a whole illustrated click.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: Just to emphasize how resonant that click is. And he pulls out a box. It is a cardboard box. There is duct tape around it, sealing it shut. It looks pretty pristine. This is like new cardboard.

Brandon: Oh.

Eric: This isn't reused cardboard. This isn't like Amazon or one of those cardboard boxes that got recycled at Costco. This is like someone got a new box and then sealed it up.

Brandon (as Connor): That's some nice cardboard.

Amanda (as Rowan): That's a nice box right there.

Brandon (as Connor): Nice box. You get that from Uline?

Julia (as Craft): What the fuck are you talking about?

Brandon (as Connor): Craft, I'm uncomfortable. Leave me alone.

Eric: Wordsmith continues.

Eric (as Wordsmith): I need you to bring this to the administration office and drop it off at room seven.

Eric: As he describes that, there's like a map unfurls in front of him, and it kind of, like, does a rough sketch of the campus of the school. There's like a little treasure map, like a little treasure map, dotted line, kind of winds its way through the school and does a big X on the outskirts of campus.

Julia (as Craft): Why do you need three people to bring a box to—

Brandon (as Connor): Is it really heavy?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah, is it really heavy.

Amanda (as Rowan): Also, what's inside?

Eric (as Wordsmith): First, as an educator, it's my responsibility to ask if you're looking at the map.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Brandon (as Connor): Yes.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Because not the administration office in this building.

Eric: The map is translucent, so Wordsmith kind of, like, puts his finger through it and, like, circles the building that all of you are in, in kind of like little midnight blue ink. It says, "You are here. Here's Wordsmith and the three of them."

Amanda: Does he have a signature font? I've never asked.

Eric: Yeah. The letterer, I'm sure, gives it signature font.

Julia: Oh, yeah.

Eric: I think it's like— it reminds me of, like Thor— the— when Asgardians are speaking in the comics.

Amanda: Hmm.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: And, like, they have that, like, Shakespearean font.

Amanda: Cool.

Eric: I think it's just, like, very bold and looks different than the lettering of—

Amanda: Cool.

Eric: —everybody else.

Julia: All of his things are midnight blue with white lettering.

Amanda: Very true.

Eric: Oh, yeah. You're right, Julia. That’s it.

Julia: I will give credit where credit is due. I'm rereading The Wicked and the Divine right now.

Eric: Hmm.

Julia: And, like, all of the gods kind of have very cool— and I'm thinking particularly about Inanna’s like royal purple with white lettering—

Eric: That's cool.

Julia: —boxes.

Eric: Yeah. Brandon, how many colors can we print in, in Join the Party comics?

Brandon: I think the printer said we could only have, like, eight or nine, so—

Eric: Oh, that's pretty good. That's more than I thought.

Julia: That's also pretty good, yeah.

Eric: All right, okay. So let's just layer the blue and the black a bunch of times, and that's how they show it.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: No, I love that. And I feel like it's all in caps regardless, and with the emphasized words being even more emphasized. And then his finger traces, like, the winding path to the X on the outside of campus.

Eric (as Wordsmith): The most important thing I need to tell you is, do not look in the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Why?

Eric (as Wordsmith): Don't look in the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Why?

Amanda (as Rowan): I'm not gonna be able to not look in the box. I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you right now.

Julia (as Craft): Is this like a real Pandora thing? Like—

Eric (as Wordsmith): Rowan, don't look in the box.

Amanda (as Rowan): But, like, I know I was not born for 9/11 or its immediate aftermath, but like, see something, say something is kind of how I was raised. And so I don't want to, like, be transporting a package or like a suitcase or something that I don't know what is in it.

Eric: Hold on. The artist takes a second to have a panel of trying to render a surprise on Wordsmith's non-featured face and then he says—

Eric (as Wordsmith): Who brought up 9/11?

Amanda (as Rowan): Am I not supposed to bring up 9/11?

Julia (as Craft): We said, "Never forget."

Eric (as Wordsmith): Do not look in the box. You can trust that it is not— there is nothing in here that can harm you if you don't look in the box.

Brandon (as Connor): If it's really heavy, I'm gonna guess it's like a big, ol' chunk of osmium, you know, the most dense material?

Amanda (as Rowan): Cool.

Eric (as Wordsmith): It could be osmium.

Brandon (as Connor): Guys, you know the osmium is the most dense material?

Brandon: Connor looks to his left, looks to his right.

Brandon (as Connor): Guys?

Julia (as Craft): No, man.

Amanda (as Rowan): Nah, I should probably know that, though.

Brandon (as Connor): Guys?

Julia (as Craft): No.

Brandon (as Connor): Shit.

Amanda (as Rowan): I love my powers.

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, with your powers and all. Your name could have been Osmium.

Julia (as Craft): I'm just gonna ask again real quick. Why do you need three people to take this box?

Eric (as Wordsmith): Well, it's— thank you for asking, Craft. What a good follow-up question.

Julia (as Craft): Thanks.

Eric (as Wordsmith): When someone gives you information you are unclear about.

Brandon (as Connor): She did ask that a little bit ago, but I think we were more taken aback by the 9/11.

Amanda (as Rowan): I read the room wrong. I didn't know bringing up 9/11 would kind of, like change the mood so much. It was more kind of, like, in passing about how I don't like to transport things I don't know what's in them.

Eric (as Wordsmith): I thought the three of you would be the best people for the job. Connor, put on pants first.

Brandon (as Connor): Oh, thank God. Thank God. Okay.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Before you go do that.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay. Do we need to do it, like, right now?

Eric (as Wordsmith): Yes, please.

Eric: Wordsmith gives you slips of paper that has his name signed on it, giving you hall passes and get you out of class for the rest of today.

Brandon (as Connor): Nice.

Julia (as Craft): Can you, with your cool powers, make a physical copy of that map that you just, like, made into air?

Eric: Yeah. Let me just look up what map is in Esperanto. Give me a second.

Amanda: translate.google.com.

Julia: Ooh.

Eric: You know what the funny thing is about Esperanto? Is that it is like a roman— it's like a mishmash of so many things, but it is a mishmash of, like, a bunch of romance languages.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: So it's like when you ask for that, Wordsmith stands up and says—

Eric (as Wordsmith): Map-o!

Eric: And then the map, like, turns physical, and then you can have it.

Julia: Craft grabs it out of the air.

Brandon: Connor looks to his left and right and is like—

Brandon (as Connor): Did he just make that one up? Is that—

Amanda (as Rowan): Sometimes he says things and I'm like, "Did he just put O at the end of a regular word?"

Brandon (as Connor): I feel like that's, like, not right.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Esperanto is a deep, unknowable language.

Amanda (as Rowan): Wasn't it like invented to be known and easily learned?

Eric (as Wordsmith): And then it disappeared, because the way the world is.

Brandon (as Connor): Fair, fair.

Julia (as Craft): The world be like that sometimes.

Eric (as Wordsmith): The world be like that!

Brandon (as Connor): There's that one villain who could create like earthquake and craters in the world— in the earth, and then that they got, like, in a big fight, and some things fell in. And once you fell into the crater, like, everyone forgot you, and everyone forgot the thing. And, like, the language of Esperanto fell into it. Do you guys remember this? What happened when we were, like, four?

Julia (as Craft): No.

Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-uh.

Brandon (as Connor): It was the—

Julia (as Craft): It was like our 9/11.

Brandon (as Connor): It was like our 9/11. That's what I was gonna say.

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, that's why I thought bringing up 9/11 was not a big deal because there was the other— the Great Fissuring, and I thought that that would be much worse.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Let's not talk about the fissuring or the 9/11 ever again! Okay. The reason why I need the three of you to do it in the administrative office is where the Mad Ad-magistration is.

Brandon (as Connor): Huh?

Amanda (as Rowan): The what now?
Brandon (as Connor): The what?

Eric: The Mad Ma— this is Eric. The Mad Mage of Ad-magistration.

Brandon: That's very good.

Amanda: Now, Eric, you did assign yourself to have to say that phrase a lot.

Eric: Oh, I know. I'm emphasizing it.

Julia: So the Mad Mage of Ad-magistration?

Eric: Yes. The Mad Mage of Ad-magistration, or the Mad Ad-magistrator.

Amanda: Love it.

Eric: And I think that maybe this clicks for you, that the place that Wordsmith is sending you is the wizard tower that is on the outskirts of the campus.

Brandon: Wizard tower. Wizard tower. Now, Julia, are you gonna have sort of PTSD style flashbacks?

Julia: No, it's okay. I don't think any of my NPC friends are gonna die in this weird tower again.

Amanda: You don't know, Julia. You might have to make one up and then immediately lose them.

Julia: That's fine. If it happens, it happens.

Eric (as Wordsmith): The reason why the three of you go together as a adventuring party is because it's the Ad— the Mad Mage of Ad-magistration is still set up from the Burlbs.

Julia (as Craft): The what?

Brandon (as Connor): The what?

Eric: Okay. So, like, a few years ago, the Burlbs from Asplenium 8 tried to steal the school because, like, they don't have any schools on their planet. So— and, like, because the fact that they're plant people and their children actually are only, quote-unquote, "adolescents" for 30 days, especially because of how powerful the four suns are on their planet.

Amanda: Hmm.

Eric: So there's no schooling, and everyone's super dumb, also because half of their brain is mitochondria, which is the powerhouse of the cell.

Julia: They're so dumb, but so strong?

Eric: Yeah. They're very strong, very dumb, and they're all big fern aliens. So a few years ago, when you guys were in middle school—

Brandon: Hmm.

Eric: —the Burlbs came down and tried to steal the school.

Amanda: Hmm.

Eric: And the Mad Mage of Ad-magistration set— is still set up in there. And there's also like an anti-alien dome—

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric: —that surrounds the school and that's when Wordsmith is explaining to you—

Eric (as Wordsmith): Do not destroy the tower, or aliens can steal the school.

Julia: So the Mad Mage is not one of the aliens?

Eric: No. No, the Mad Mage—

Julia: Okay.

Eric: —is— works at the school, is the Mad Mage of Ad-magistration, and it still has a lot of things that are set up in the tower when the Burlbs came to try to take the school six years ago.

Brandon: Did the Mad Mage— were they the ones that shoot— I was gonna say, shoot away, that fought off the aliens in the end or—

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's why you have a Mad Mage on staff.,

Brandon: Oh, that's why? Right, right, right.

Eric: And maintain— and you know, it's important to maintain a wizard tower.

Brandon: Yes.

Julia: Sure.

Eric: That's also where the high-level magical students study with the Mad Mage.

Brandon: Yep.

Eric: Like when your gym teacher is also your health class teacher, but in a good way.

Amanda: Nice.

Julia: Ah, not in a way that that person is not qualified to teach me about sex at all?

Eric: Right, yeah.

Julia: Gotcha.

Amanda: It's really fucked up how soon after the Great Fissuring, the whole Burlb invasion happened. It was just a really tough upstate New York fall.

Eric: I think it's so funny that the two of you are just, like, casually talking about the Great Fissuring, because I can imagine that there was, like a Wordsmith specific comic run about the Great Fissuring.

Julia: Yeah.

Amanda: Oh, yeah. Definitely. Definitely.

Eric: That was just like so emotional, all about how the original Libro de Libereco fell into the Fissure and Esperanto was lost. And now only the, like—

Amanda: The Knights of the Square Book.

Eric: The Knight— yeah. the Knights of the Rectangle revived it, and Wordsmith is their champion. And y'all are just talking about it while also making 9/11 jokes.

Julia: We're real teenagers in this moment, huh?

Eric: No, you are.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: And just like— there's another panel where you— we are trying to describe what Wordsmith's face looks like and it's tough.

Amanda: I just remembered he's in a full face mask.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: We don't know. We don't know. He's got a full face mask helmet on. We don't know.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: And you just see, like, a slight eyebrow muscle quirk.

Eric: Yeah. It's like you could see the face movements, but you can't see any of the face.

Julia: You know that phenomenon with Muppets, when you're watching a Muppet thing, and you're like, "Wow, Miss Piggy looks so surprised," but nothing about her face actually changed. That's what it's like with Wordsmith.

Eric (as Wordsmith): So repeat back to me what the instructions were.

Julia (as Craft): Don't look in the box.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Don't look in the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Don't look in the box.

Julia (as Craft): Bring it to administrative office room seven where the Mad Mage of Ad-magistration is in the old wizard tower on campus.

Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-huh.

Brandon (as Connor): They're not gonna try to, like— I haven't been in there because I'm— obviously, I'm a big boy, not a magic boy. They're not gonna, like, try to, like, do anything to us, right? Like, they're not gonna turn me into a newt or anything?

Eric (as Wordsmith): The Mage? No.

Julia (as Craft): I'm just gonna say, sir, not convincing.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Well, the reason why I asked all three of you to do it is because I believe in each of your skills. I've been very pleased with how the— this is an opportunity for all three of you to show me what you can do!

Amanda (as Rowan): In a way that might, like, reflect in our ranking, maybe?

Amanda: And Rowan kind of nudges Craft.

Eric (as Wordsmith): I'm not giving any promises, but I could commune with the algorithm of the ranking.

Julia: Hmm.

Amanda (as Rowan): You could do that?

Eric (as Wordsmith): I can, I'm the principal.

Julia (as Craft): Cool.

Amanda (as Rowan): Wow.

Eric (as Wordsmith): And remember, don't look in the box. Don't look in the box.

Julia (as Craft): Okay.

Brandon (as Connor): Okay. It's not gonna like— we're not gonna have to like— it's not— nothing's gonna, like, pop out and we're gonna have to, like, smash it back in? It's just, like, don't look into it, right?

Eric (as Wordsmith): If you don't open the box, that won't be a problem.

Brandon (as Connor): Okay, great. Cool, cool, cool.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.

Eric (as Wordsmith): Okay?

Brandon (as Connor): Okay.

Amanda (as Rowan): Thanks. And then once we're done, we can go for ice cream?

Brandon (as Connor): Us or with Wordsmith, you mean, Rowan?

Amanda (as Rowan): Like, Principal Wordsmith, where we're just like, this is a task for the day, right?

Eric (as Wordsmith): Yes. So, yes, your hall pass say, this is your— what you're doing for the day. If you end up doing it quickly, you can get out of school— you can get out of class, just make sure to check in with your teachers.

Brandon (as Connor): Could you write at the bottom just, like, 10% off ice cream, so we could show it to the ice cream—

Amanda (as Rowan): Uh-huh.

Brandon (as Connor): —guy? Okay.

Amanda (as Rowan): Like, just to see. Like, you could just make a coupon—

Brandon (as Connor): Just to see.

Amanda (as Rowan): —with your mouth— like with your words, I mean.

Brandon (as Connor): You could do that, yeah.

Eric (as Wordsmith): You already get 10% off with your student ID at Hoop Scoops, the basketball-themed ice cream store right outside campus.

Amanda: Aw, do they drop the scoop through a little basketball hoop to get into the cup?

Brandon: Oh.

Eric: Swish.

Julia: That's adorable.

Eric: For those who are 21 and up, there's a He's on Fire, which is— it's flambé, because they pour alcohol and they light it on fire.

Brandon: That's cute.

Julia: Cool.

Amanda: Excellent idea.

Eric: Yeah. There's also the NBA Jam, which is strawberry— there's strawberry jam—

Amanda: Aw.

Eric: —ice cream. It's like peanut butter and jelly.

Julia: Oh.

Eric: It's good.

Amanda: Yum.

Eric: Yeah.

Julia: That sounds great.

Brandon: That's so good.

Amanda: And a WNBA waffle cone. That didn't go anywhere.

Brandon: A waffle NBA cone.

Eric: Everyone loves women's sports and ice cream.

Amanda: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, exactly.

Brandon (as Connor): Let's go.

Brandon: And Connor is gonna grab the box and start walking towards his room to put pants on.

Amanda: Yeah, I think we'll follow him up. And as we're walking, Rowan is like—

Amanda (as Rowan): I cannot tell you how much I want to look in this box. Just like don't let me have it, because I just, like— right now, I just— I kind of don't trust myself not to, like, look in the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): I'll hold on to the box because, like, with—

Amanda (as Rowan): Is it heavy?

Julia (as Craft): No, I don't think so. With my dad's whole thing, he really liked machines, but he also loved telling me about Greek mythology. So, like, I remember the Pandora story super well.

Brandon (as Connor): Craft, don't take this in the wrong way. If I give the box to you to hold and you, like, set it down, are you gonna, like, gonna forget that it's there?

Julia (as Craft): Nah. Nah. What is this, my phone? Nah.

Brandon (as Connor): Okay.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, my job can be remembering to make sure Craft remembers the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Okay, that's good. That's good. I like that.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah, I like that we're really eliminating redundancy here, you know?

Eric: Oh, by the way—

Julia: Oh.

Eric: —as you walk away, should I probably tell you this custom move I made for you?

Brandon: No, I don't think so.

Julia: Sure.

Amanda: Oh.

Brandon: You don't need to.

Eric: Oh, it's called— well, the move is triggered for when someone wants to look in the box.

Julia: Cool. I don't want to look in the box.

Brandon: Wants to or does?
Eric: The trigger is if you are trying to look in the box. Thank you, Brandon.

Julia: Okay. Okay.

Eric: If you're trying to look in the box. On a success, you catch a glimpse of what's in the box.

On a mixed success, you can catch a glimpse of what's inside the box and also irrevocably change the box. Someone will know that you tried to open the box, or you can think better of it and double clutch. And although there is a blemish, you could possibly fix it.

Amanda: Cover your tracks.

Eric: If you fail, you can fail. There's some stuff that could happen, so—

Julia: Hmm. Hmm. Interesting.

Brandon: Interesting. Interesting.

Amanda: So team, let's not do that, unless we really have to.

Brandon: Can I sort of feel, while it's in my hands, some adjectives to describe what's in the box? Is it heavy? Is it light? Is it like roll around a little bit? Is it seem square?

Julia: If I shake it, does it make a noise?

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: Does it break?

Eric: Well, I can tell you some more basic information about it, but if you want to do something, I think you would have to assess the situation.

Brandon: Yeah, let's assess the situation.

Eric: Okay. Oh, by the way, it's been a little while, so speaking of your team pool, when I think it's been a little while, I reset your team pool back to one.

Julia: Yay.

Eric: I think you were at one anyway, but I'm just letting you know, just for some cleanup stuff.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: When I feel— when I want to demonstrate that it's been a little while since our last game. I think it's about October, similarly, in mid-October right now, after, you know, you did your big project, probably in September. We had our fun time at shop class, and now I think it's about mid-October.

Amanda: Cool. The seasonal flavors have changed in the cafeteria.

Julia: Hmm.

Brandon: Now, it's just slightly dirtier tasting oil fries.

Eric: Yeah. But they— they're called Pumpkin Spice—

Julia: Pumpkin Spice fries. Yeah.

Eric: Yes, it's— yeah. Julia gets another team. You're right.

Amanda: Yay!

Julia: Yay!

Eric: No, you don't. You don't, but I did want to say that. All right. So let's assess the situation, let's roll plus superior. What's Connor's superior now?

Brandon: Well, it is minus one, but it does not matter, because I am flawless, Eric. And I got an 11.

Julia: Yurr.

Brandon: Minus one for a 10, motherfucker.

Eric: Jesus Christ.

Julia: You go, Holmes.

Eric: Ask two questions. Remember— and then you— if you act on these answers, you get plus one.

Brandon: And I have to use these questions, right?

Eric: You have to use these questions, yes, yes.

Brandon: Okay. I'm gonna ask, what here can I use to get an idea of what's in this box, without showcasing that I touched it or whatever, you know? Without damaging the pristine cardboard from Uline?

Eric: Hmm. That's a good question. You already have extra sensory powers, right?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: And I think that, although you look at it and you— maybe not to a large extent, but I think that you tap into your really good hearing, smelling, listening, touch, you know, feeling the weight of the thing.

Brandon: Uh-hmm.

Eric: And, you know, you can't get much. If you could find a way to enhance those things, and if they were focused or multiplied in some way, either you could look here whatever you want inside the box and without opening the box.

Brandon: Cool. Okay. That makes sense.

Eric: If you'd end up doing that, I'll give you plus one to that move as you try to do that.

Brandon: Great.

Eric: So keep that one in your back— in your pocket for the rest of this comic arc.

Brandon: And then I'll ask for my second question, I was thinking about, how could we end this best quickly? But I think that the answer is just gonna be— get to the admin office and start it in.

Eric: Maybe.

Brandon: Yeah, maybe I'll just ask that, how could we best end this quickly? Meaning, like, what's the shortest path from A to B here without getting beat up in the meantime?

Eric: It's funny you say that because—

Brandon: Thank you. I worked really hard at that joke. It was really good. It's on my type five.

Eric: It's funny you say that because, Connor, you want to go back to the dorm to put on your pants, right?

Brandon: I was told to.

Julia: Doesn't mean he wants to.

Eric: As the three of you are walking back to the dorms, I think that a lot of students who were in your classes when you got the announcement, are like all looking at you, because the three of you got called to the principal's office and now you're holding a box. So, like, lots of students who you know and don't know from your various classes are like—

Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, hey. Oh, hey, Rowan, Craft, Connor, what are you doing? What'd Rowan— what'd Wordsmith want from you? What's in that box?

Eric: And now that the next class has been let out, just like all these students are coming into the halls and they see you holding this box.

[theme]

Amanda: Hey, everybody, it's Amanda. This midroll is brought to you by a dog's head resting on your ankle. Thank you so much to our newest patron, Sonny, who checks watch. Sonny, you did it. You are patron number 50, and that means that very soon, we will be playing another dang One Shot from the character creation episodes of the One Shot Derby II. That episode will be available exclusively for patrons at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. So join up now, and you will be able to enjoy the video and audio from the One Shot Derby II. If you like Join the Party, you are going to love the other shows that are part of the Multitude Podcast collective. This Guy Sucked is a history podcast for haters, by haters. And honestly, my favorite thing to listen to when getting ready in the morning. It just fills me with a certain je ne sais quoi of being able to take on all the terrible people in the universe that I really enjoy to start my day. And I'm telling you, it helps me do eyeliner even better. So you can join historian Dr. Claire Aubin and a new expert every week to pull back that scholarly curtain on some of the world's biggest bummers. No dead person is safe, and the show's guests prove that the best part of understanding the past is criticizing it. New episodes every Thursday wherever you listen to podcasts. And we are sponsored once more today and throughout June, by our friends at Mage Hand Press, who are very proud to announce that as of today, when this episode comes out, the Gunslinger class from Valda's Spire of Secrets is now on D&D Beyond. You will play a gunslinger, if you like scoring powerful critical hits, pauses to look myself in the mirror, something I did exactly once in Campaign Three, and have an entire arsenal of guns, or I don't know, like a very, very cool bow and arrow at your disposal. Now, as you know, I played powerful himbo Troy Riptide in Campaign Three as a gunslinger, and I had so much fun playing this guy for two years. You will also have fun playing the gunslinger, because it comes with six new subclasses, a slew of gunslinging spells and new features, so you can shoot first and ask questions later, like all of the hot princes do. Plus, it has a brand-new lineup of firearms so you can turn any session into a shootout. I loved using that powerful bow and arrow as Troy, and you are going to find a weapon that speaks to you in the gunslinger class, I promise. So you can go to D&D Beyond and search for Mage Hand Press, or go to magehandpress.com to learn all about Valda's Spire Secrets, the gunslinger, and all the excellent stuff that Mage Hand Mike and company have to offer. Thank you, Mike, for sponsoring the show, and congratulations on getting the gunslinger onto D&D Beyond. And now, back to the show.

[theme]

Eric: Coming up, out of nowhere, you hear—

Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, so, why you just get called to do— you just get called out of class to do fun things? That's wild. That's so crazy. I can't believe that. I can't believe that, Connor.

Eric: And Glimmer literally swimming into view in front of you, be like—

Eric (as Glimmer): So what are you doing with the box? What's up with the box? Oh, my God, Rowan—

Brandon (as Connor): I mean, it's—

Eric (as Glimmer): —I love your top. You— it looks so good.

Amanda (as Rowan): We both know it's the same one every week. And like that old song said, why are you so obsessed with me?

Eric (as Glimmer): I just— I love your Tuesday shirt. Oh, my God, Craft. Did you— have you been walking through mud with these shoes? 'Cause, like, they look so hardcore. It's— these are great.

Julia (as Craft): That's not—

Eric (as Glimmer): I love— these are great.

Julia (as Craft): I need you to understand what you just said to each and every one of us was not a compliment.

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.

Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, I'm— you know, I— sorry, I was trying to give you all comp— I was trying to give you a compliment. I'm not very good at it.

Julia (as Craft): It wasn't— they weren't good ones. I'm gonna let you know if that's something you want to work on personally. Go for it.

Eric (as Glimmer): Yeah, I do. I just didn't know— I don't have a— I didn't— you know, it's hard—

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.

Eric (as Glimmer): It's hard being, you know, a fish in elementary school.

Julia (as Craft): Okay.

Eric (as Glimmer): They try to feed you little flakes and pellets and stuff, so—

Julia (as Craft): Cool. I didn't go to elementary school because I got created by a mad scientist, so—

Eric (as Glimmer): Oh, did I say I was in elementary school? I said I was the pet in elementary— in an elementary school.

Amanda (as Rowan): Whoa, really?

Julia (as Craft): Hmm.

Brandon (as Connor): I figured you were like— that was just what you called your school, you know? Because you're a fish.

Eric (as Glimmer): Connor, excuse me, sorry, what does that mean? You said I was in a— you said I'm in a school because I'm a fish?

Brandon (as Connor): I'm in a Speedo, so if anyone gets too close to me, it's bad for you.

Eric (as Glimmer): You know, Connor, I feel like if someone— I just— hey, what's this— what this box Words— principal Wordsmith gave you a box?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay. That's enough. We gotta get moving. Thank you. Bye.

Brandon (as Connor): Bye.

Amanda: And Rowan is just gonna start elbowing people out of the way, moving through.

Eric (as Glimmer): What's the— come on, you're gonna say— you're not even gonna show me the box?

Julia (as Craft): Nah, not taking that bait. All right, later.

Eric (as Glimmer): You said taking that bait? Wow. Wow. Wow. You can at least let me hold the box. Let me see the box.

Amanda (as Rowan): Glimmer, I like how shiny you are, but it's not ever gonna happen.

Amanda: And Rowan's gonna charge up her powers real quick, and I would love to create a moat around this— around the three of us.

Eric: Holy shit.

Amanda: As we walk through the hallways. So let me charge.

Eric: Let's charge your burn, yeah.

Amanda: Okay. That was a five plus one condition for a six. So, unfortunately, I hold two burn and mark three conditions.

Julia: Uh-oh.

Eric: Oh, God.

Amanda: So—

Eric: That's also— you— it's a miss, so you still get XP for that.

Amanda: Oh, potential? Okay.

Julia: Do you want the team point for that?

Amanda: No, I want these conditions. It's how my playbook works.

Julia: Okay. Oh, right. That's a— I forgot about the Nova thing of wanting conditions.

Amanda: Thank you. I'm gonna go afraid, guilty, and insecure.

Julia: Hmm.

Amanda: Plus angry. So we've almost got a gentleman's pentagram here. Okay.

Eric: Okay. So what does it look like when you fail your burn?

Amanda: I think—

Brandon: You go, "Ooh, hot. Ooh, hot. Ooh, hot. Ooh, hot."

Amanda: Stupid.

Eric: Brandon's also in a Speedo. I'm sorry it took me so long to say this, but I think Brandon's also in a Speedo, I’m sorry.

Amanda: You know what happened, is Brandon figured out his camera setting so he is zoomed out, and he is playing with a full frame. He's playing with a full frame of 16 by 9.

Julia: Hmm.

Amanda: It looks like Rowan being shaken by her powers, is what it looks like.

Eric: Okay.

Amanda: So burn is when she is, like, almost tapping into like the gravitational force the ley lines, the vibrations that keep the whole world strung together. And occasionally, when she does that, it's like a dog or a cat shaking off their fur when they're wet, but backward. It's like— it like— it looks unnatural. Her body is just like shivering and shaking in, like, a very viscerally upsetting way, just for an instant. And then she looks kind of haggard and tired. And her clothes are kind of rumpled, almost, as she stands there, hands vibrating almost imperceptibly fast.

Brandon: Hmm.

Amanda: And then she's going to create a moat, so I'm going to spend a burn to create a barrier that holds back threats, as long as I keep my attention on it. And so a force field comes from origin centered on the box, and boops out maybe six feet on all sides to encapsulate the three of us and the box. And like people sharing an umbrella, we're just gonna shuffle on forward as Rowan keeps the center of gravity focused on the box.

Brandon: I was gonna say, like a QB push or whatever, but that also works.

Amanda: What is that?

Brandon: Like, when you're playing football, and you snap into the quarterback.

Amanda: Ah.

Brandon: And then you just immediately start going forward.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: Because you're, like, four inches from the end zone and so you just— you know, Eric, what I'm talking about?

Eric: Yeah. Amanda is saying that everyone got tush pushed out of the way, but instead of by—

Amanda: Definitely right.

Eric: —350 pound linemen, it is by Rowan's gravitational powers, which, oh, yeah, I think it also smashes a bunch of students into the lockers, including Glimmer, who is close enough to you that she literally gets thrown by the gravitational field.

Amanda (as Rowan): I'm really sorry, Glimmer. I didn't mean to do that. Have a nice day.

Julia: Craft just tucks the box under her arm and is like—

Julia (as Craft): All right, deuces.

Brandon: So what was the answer to how can we best end this quickly?

Eric: You need to get out of the hallway and get to the wizard tower.

Brandon: Gotcha.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Okay.

Eric: Students are going to ask you, what's the deal with the box?

Brandon: Hmm.

Eric: So you need to get out of the hallways quickly.

Brandon: Okay. So as— yeah. As we push forward, Connor's gonna, like, lean towards Rowan and say—

Brandon (as Connor): Don't worry. Let's forget about the pants. It's fine. Let's just keep going.

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, that's fair.

Julia (as Craft): Do you want the suit jacket? Because I do think that—

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, yeah.

Julia (as Craft): —it covers more than my sweater does.

Brandon (as Connor): Did you— should I just take your pants too, Craft? What are we doing?

Julia (as Craft): No, I got shorts. It's fine.

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put the blazer on your waist.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): Craft, take it back.

Eric: Put Craft back in the sweatshirt, and then—

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric: —Connor can wear the suit jacket.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Brandon (as Connor): Got it, got it. Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Eric: So you put the suit jacket in the boat with the lion.

Brandon: Hmm.

Eric: But the lion will eat the coat.

Julia: Hmm.

Brandon: Right.

Julia (as Craft): I mean, this isn't any worse than a lot of superheroes costumes, so you're fine.

Brandon (as Connor): That's true.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah. Everyone's like— just, like, balls out for no reason.

Amanda (as Rowan): You guys ever wonder how the shape shifters do it? At some point, like, I think they just do it for fun.

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): I think they just, like, decide to be naked, because you could definitely make, like, dead drops of clothes or, like, make fabric that'll stretch with you. Like, I think—

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Amanda (as Rowan): —they just like to be naked.

Julia (as Craft): It's freeing, I guess.

Brandon (as Connor): I've always said shifters are just exhibitionists with a power, you know?

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Yeah. All right, so the wizard tower?

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah. So, like, I don't know, what do we think could go wrong here?

Julia (as Craft): I think that the wizards tower has a bunch of defenses, and we're gonna have to go through them, so let's just fucking do it, you know?

Amanda (as Rowan): All right.

Brandon (as Connor): I also think, guys, that there's probably nothing in this box or, like, inside, it's like a note that says like, "You did it."

Julia (as Craft): "Good job."

Amanda (as Rowan): Or, like, an eyeball saying—

Brandon (as Connor): "Good job."

Amanda (as Rowan): —"I saw you, and I am more like disappointed than angry."

Brandon (as Connor): That's true.

Julia (as Craft): Or it's like, you know, the fucking wizards' lunch, so let's just fucking take it, you know?

Brandon: It's just Jimmy Johnson.

Eric: Two things I want to note, while you're having this conversation, I think you're just mowing students down.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia: Oh, yeah, definitely.

Eric: You're just bowl over—

Amanda: The bubble's moving.

Eric: You're just smashing people. We see just like all these students. Joltin' Jo and Hoover Mover got back together, they're making out in this— in the hallway, and you just—

Brandon: No.

Amanda: No.

Eric: —run them over.

Brandon: That one was intentional. We moved over in order to push them down.

Amanda: We need to get them a grounding third person in the relationship to keep everybody stable--

Brandon: A grounding third person?

Eric: A grounding third person, yay.

Julia: Hmm. A rubber person.

Brandon: A rubber person.

Eric: A polyurethane relationship.

Brandon: Hey.

Amanda: Nice.

Julia: There's a really cute girl with pigtails named Rubber Maid and we're like—

Julia (as Craft): We got to get them together.

Amanda: Wow.

Brandon: That's so cute.

Eric: That's pretty good.

Amanda: That is so cute.

Eric: I also want to remember, remind you, hey, Craft, who's like that other person who's important on your character sheet?

Julia: You mean, like, the fact that Wordsmith is on my respect thing?

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julia: Yeah. Yeah. I want Wordsmith to respect me and think I'm doing a good job so that I could take advancements. Please and thank you.

Eric: What is Wordsmith define? Because, like, you have the— you choose these people and they fit into, like, archetypes on your character sheet.

Julia: Yeah. Right now, I have Wordsmith under my parents' greatest enemy.

Eric: Fair.

Amanda: Cool.

Eric: That was great. I think as you're plowing students over in the hallway, you turn a corner and you can see, like, the doors that led out to outside, to kind of, like, cross the final field to get to the wizard tower. And as you turn the corner, Rowan, you see a astral projection of Harvey Withers standing in front of the doors, and be like—

Eric (as Harvey Withers): I have three rules about hallway etiquette, no horse play, no literally turning other students into horses, and no—

Brandon (as Connor): They're different?

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Yes, they're different. And no bowling students over it— with your powers. Stop.

Julia (as Craft): Okay, but we're on a mission.

Brandon (as Connor): We got a hall pass. We got three of them.

Amanda (as Rowan): Yeah, le— we'll be out of your hair right now. Thank you. You can ask Principal Wordsmith.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Let me see the hall pass.

Brandon (as Connor): Here you go. I also— can I have it back, though? It has a coupon for ice cream at the bottom of it.

Eric: Again, your student ID gives you 10% off already, Brandon. It doesn't have to--

Brandon: No, but this one—

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: This one says like an extra—

Eric: Oh, this is one also says, "Connor super special void, gives free ice cream"?

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Yes. It's additional 10% off.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: And it is stackable.

Eric: Oh, it's stackable. Harvey looks it over, one thing another. He holds it up to the light and, like, it glitters like the stars of a galaxy so distant, they don't even have light.

Brandon: Whoa.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): I guess you kids got this from Wordsmith, but that doesn't mean you can run people over in the halls.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay, I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Rowan, I'm gonna need you to turn it off.

Amanda (as Rowan): Oh, we'll be outside in two seconds. Don't worry.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Yeah. You can't walk around on campus with a student-crushing force field. That's not safe.

Amanda (as Rowan): Okay.

Amanda: And now, Rowan's gonna shrink the size of the moat to be just around the box.

Julia: How does that work with me carrying it?

Amanda: I think it can just be suspended in air and, like, I'll, like, float it with the moat around it, just kind of, like, between the three of us.

Brandon (as Connor): How— does that work good?

Eric (as Harvey Withers): It would—

Brandon (as Connor): The spirit of compromise.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): It would be easier if you follow the rules instead of finding loopholes in them.

Eric: And Rowan, I want to shift your mundane up and your superior down, because you're a person, and you should probably follow the rules of community.

Amanda: Hmm. I'm gonna resist.

Julia: You tell Harvey Withers.

Eric: You tell Harvey Withers.

Julia: You tell him.

Amanda: What do I roll?

Eric: When you reject influence, roll to straight up. On a hit, you successfully hold yourself to the mount, and if you don't, the words will hit you hard.

Amanda: [dice roll] Okay. I got a seven, so it's mixed success—

Eric: There you go.

Amanda: —success, meaning I can choose one. I, either, clear condition or mark potential by immediately acting to prove them wrong. I shift a label up and label down of my choice, or I cancel their influence and take plus one forward against them. He doesn't have influence over me, except that he's just an adult.

Eric: He— so he does have influence over you.

Amanda: Got it. Cool. I am going to clear one of my conditions—

Eric: Okay.

Amanda: —that I just took. I'm going to clear afraid because Harvey Withers doesn't scare me.

Julia: Damn right, damn right. You tell him.

Eric: Sorry, he's just four foot eight in a trench coat.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Scares me.

Eric: Scares the crap out of me.

Amanda: And Rowan is going to hover herself up a good six or eight inches, so she is looking down at Harvey with the box floating next to her, and just sort of, like, tinkle her fingers, you know? Like, wave them really gently like, "Ta-ta." And float her way out of a window instead of the door.

Julia: Wow.

Brandon: Wow.

Julia: Craft is, like, now crawling up a wall to go through the window.

Julia (as Craft): Rowan, wait up.

Amanda (as Rowan): No, you guys can take the door.

Julia (as Craft): Rowan, hold on.

Amanda (as Rowan): I was just— anyway, yeah, thanks.

Brandon: Connor— his legs start to grow in size and so he could reach the window with his arms.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Connor, you too.

Julia (as Craft): Et tu, Connor?

Brandon (as Connor): Et tu, Connor?

Eric (as Harvey Withers): And after you were nominated as safest student in the hallways three years in a row.

Brandon (as Connor): I never applied for that. Okay?

Eric (as Harvey Withers): It's an honor. It's bestowed upon you and you're not supposed to apply.

Amanda (as Rowan): Nerd.

Brandon (as Connor): I didn't want it, because I got made fun of— for it. A lot.

Julia (as Craft): Nerd.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): The Hallway-lies are a prestige.

Brandon: That's the award ceremony?

Eric: Yes, yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Hey, hey, Withers, do you want, like, some weed before I go or—

Eric (as Harvey Withers): Stop offering teachers weed.

Julia (as Craft): It just seems like you're the kind of person who would want some.

Eric (as Harvey Withers): I'm already astral projecting. I don't need any of this earthbound shit.

Julia (as Craft): So am I, man. All right, later.

Eric: All right. You pop out—

Julia: We're outside.

Eric: —the fucking window.

Amanda: Once we're outside, Rowan will lower herself back to the ground and give the box back to Craft. And I'm just keeping the moat like as tight around the edges of the box as possible, like imagine almost wrapping a present. And so it should, in theory, deter threats and hold them back if they ever come for the box specifically.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: Sure.

Amanda: By the way, the GM may call for me to spend another burn if the barrier is threatened by particularly powerful enemies. So I'm going to keep my extra— my second burn ready.

Eric: Okay.

Julia: Cool.

Eric: I'm sure that won't come up.

Amanda: So shall we follow the path of the map and just kind of walk directly to the tower?

Julia: Let's do it.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Sick. All right, you cross the girls soccer field, the boys soccer field, the boys field hockey field, the girls field hockey field, the flim jarn fields, and then the softball field.

Brandon: The what? What's softball?

Eric: And you can head over the wizard tower.

Julia (as Craft): Sick.

Eric: The wizard tower— oh, man, guys, that shit's a wizard-esque tower. There is a fantasy-esque wizard tower right there, made of irregular stones, assembled not with cement, but just by sheer arcane energy, stacked on top of each other. Maybe that's what the Romans were doing with the aqueduct. It was ancient aliens that did it. The Egyptians, that was totally human engineering.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: The Romans actually got help from ancient aliens of flipping it.

Julia: Hmm.

Brandon: So not only do aliens exist and came to Earth, but they also have magic powers?

Eric: Yeah, they do.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: It stretches high into the sky, bursting through the fall afternoon clouds that are hanging low, like apples that the Jupiter apple farm and Cider House and Pop-punk consortium.

Julia: Uh-huh.

Amanda: Incredible.

Eric: Here's the problem, though, as you approach the tower, you're expecting— I don't know, it could be like a classic wooden door, maybe with, like, a— with a ring on it instead of a doorknob. That could be cool. Or maybe there's, like, double doors that you get to dramatically push it open after the three of you push really hard on it.

Amanda: Eric, is it like big door with a little door where the people can walk out?

Julia (as Craft): That's always fun.

Eric: There could be that, too. Unfortunately, as you look around the tower, there's no door. There's absolutely no door to this wizard tower.

Brandon: Hmm.

Eric: As you look up, maybe you could see— kind of up close to the clouds, maybe you could see some windows, but there's no easy entrance here. What do you do?

Julia (as Craft): Uh, knock, knock.

Eric: You just say that?

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Kind of yell it, like knock, knock. Special delivery.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Who approaches the wiz— the Mad Mage-atorium?

Julia (as Craft): Craft.

Brandon (as Connor): It is I, Connor Lyons.

Julia (as Craft): And Craft.

Amanda (as Rowan): And Rowan.

Brandon (as Connor): But mostly Connor.

Julia (as Craft): We've got a—

Amanda (as Rowan): From Wordsmith.

Julia (as Craft): We've got a delivery from Wordsmith, yeah.

Brandon (as Connor): You guys gotta lean into the madness, otherwise he's not gonna like us.

Amanda (as Rowan): Good sir. How's that?

Brandon (as Connor): I thought it was good.

Amanda (as Rowan): Thank you.

Eric (as DiMaggio): What delivery? We were not informed of a delivery.

Julia (as Craft): I don't know. It's a box.

Julia: And then Craft holds up the box.

Eric (as DiMaggio): What's in the box?

Brandon (as Connor): We don't know.

Julia (as Craft): I don't know. We were told not to look inside it.

Eric (as DiMaggio): If you don't know what's in the box, we can't trust you. You might be one of the Burlbs, trying to steal our school-atorium.

Amanda (as Rowan): Well, I thought your excellent defenses meant that no— none of those could get onto campus anymore. So can I just, like, come in and bring you the box? Is that okay? Like, if I got inside, I couldn't be a Burlb, right?

Julia (as Craft): Makes sense to me?

Brandon: Aren't they fern people?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah. We're not made of plants.

Amanda (as Rowan): I'm a human girl, not yet a woman.

Eric (as DiMaggio): That sounds like alien trickery.

Eric: And above you, three creatures push themselves out from the wizard tower. You didn't see them before because they were camouflaged like the wizard tower itself. It helps when you're a gargoyle. You can be made out of literally anything.

Julia: Classic.

Eric: Three gargoyles start circle— encircling you like stone vultures. And then land with a thud around the three of you. One has large wings and is hunched, one is tall and thin, and the third one is just goofy as hell.

Eric (as Jeets): I want to see the box. Show me what's in the box.

Amanda (as Rowan): Do you guys trust me?

Julia (as Craft): Yeah.

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Explicitly.

Eric (as DiMaggio): You must present—

Amanda: The one who is speaking is the large and hunched one.

Eric (as DiMaggio): You must present the box to the gargoyles of the Mage Mag-atorium, me, DiMaggio, my partner, Mantle.

Eric (as Jeets): And I'm Jeets. Show me the box.

Brandon (as Connor): Do y'all think it counts if we don't look at them opening the box? Does that count of us not looking at the box?

Julia (as Craft): I mean, Wordsmith just told us not to look in the box.

Amanda (as Rowan): But he also said—

Brandon (as Connor): That's true.

Amanda (as Rowan): —we got to give it to the mage guy. I'm just gonna try something real quick.

Brandon (as Connor): Okay.

Julia (as Craft): Okay.

Amanda: I'm gonna spend, Eric, my other burn to use the move, move. So I have a move called move, where I can spend a burn to move any place I want within the scene, breaking through or slipping past any barriers or restraints in my way.

Julia: Sick as fuck, bro.

Brandon: Yo.

Amanda: Can I yeet into the tower?

Eric: Yeah, yeah. There's always a point, I think, where I— in this campaign at least, where I pull aside and I'm like, "Here's the funny thing about playing this game." The Nova exists to just make conflicts irrelevant, right?

Julia: Yurr.

Eric: Literally, it exists, so yeah, you can extremely do that.

Amanda: Yay. You guys still have to deal with three gargoyles, but I am gonna yeet into the tower. I'm gonna go as high up as you feel is reasonable.

Brandon: Are you taking the box with you?

Amanda: With the box, yeah. Exactly.

Brandon: Great.

Amanda: I'll hold the box in my arms and boop into the tower.

Eric: I mean, I think with move, it's like you can just go inside, right?

Amanda: Yeah. I imagine it as just like I blink out of existence with, like, a little gravitational, like, poof, like gust of wind, almost, and then I pop wherever I want to. So I'm gonna try to locate myself as close as possible to where the voices came from, so just like up in the tower.

Brandon: Now, from our perspective, Rowan says, "I'm just going to try something," and then blinks out of existence.

Eric: Yeah. Rowan grabs the box, disappears, and then there's wind. And then there's a breeze.

Brandon (as Connor): Is Rowan dead? What happened?

Julia (as Craft): No, no.

Amanda (as Rowan): I did it.

Brandon (as Connor): Oh.

Julia (as Craft): Oh. Sick. See? There she is. Hey, what's up, gargoyles? Don't have a box now. Can we come inside anyway?

Amanda: You want weed?

Julia (as Craft): You want some weed?

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle no understand. Short girl, not yet woman here now not. How happen?

Julia (as Craft): She's got superpowers, just like we do. Do you guys want some weed or something?

Eric (as DiMaggio): We do not imbibe with drugs. Show us where the box is now.

Julia (as Craft): It's gone.

Brandon (as Connor): The box is gone.

Julia (as Craft): Can we come inside?

Eric (as DiMaggio): No.

Eric: And the large, hunched gargoyle, DiMaggio, runs behind the goofy gargoyle, Jeets, and kind of just opens its mouth, and then purple energy starts to charge up.

Brandon (as Connor):Wait, wait, wait. Stop.

Julia (as Craft): Uh-oh.

Brandon: Connor puts his hand out.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Where is the box?

Brandon: Connor uses his supernatural senses to sense how they were put together, and he's gonna use his power negation to stop that purple energy from forming.

Amanda: Ooh.

Julia: Hell yeah, dog. It's the first time we get to see it.

Eric: Tell me about that. What do you do?

Brandon: It sharpened his supernatural senses so much that he's, like, able to see how people's powers are sort of, like, placed within—

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: —someone's body.

Eric: Yeah. No, I like this. This reminds me of, like, in Delicious in Dungeon, they— when you see, like, how monsters are put together, and, like, with the dragon, you can see, like, the fire sack, where it's like gas that a dragon can, like, click its molars together to create the spark, that does the fire breath.

Brandon: Uh-hmm.

Eric: I think, similarly, there is a glyph that is inside of Jeets' jaws that can shoot Arcane— that he make an Arcane Blast.

Brandon: And then his brain also changed a little bit to where, like, once he discovers that, he sort of instantly knows the thing to say in order to stop the power, and that's what negates it, right?

Eric: Yes.

Julia: That's cool as hell. I like this idea that maybe, like, Connor understands, like, pressure points. Like, you remember that one character who can stop people from bending in Avatar: The Last Airbender?

Eric: Julia, I was just thinking about that. Like, understanding where powers come from. You know what would be sick with this? Because I think— I wonder if maybe I'll make you a special move with this. Well, I think you're defending. It's like you're not engaging a threat, but what you're trying to do is stop the situation from happening, and although it says defend someone or something, what you're trying to do is defuse the situation.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: Uh-hmm.

Eric: Which similarly puts you in the line of fire if you don't.

Brandon: Yes.

Eric: I kind of love that. So let's do that. We haven't done that one yet. If you defend someone or something from an immediate threat, roll plus savior. On a hit, you keep them safe and choose one, and I think then is the situation from escalating, because you're so good at conflict resolution here. And this is gonna be part of your new power set.

Brandon: Yes. I love this. I have a minus one to savior, though, so let's see how this goes.

Amanda: We got some team to play with.

Julia: I believe in you.

Brandon: I got a five. I opened up—

Julia: That's—

Brandon: —my eyes, I got a five.

Amanda: Well—

Brandon: Minus one for four.

Amanda: There's no coming back from that one.

Julia: Well, can't even get you up there, buddy. Sorry.

Brandon: Well, this is first time trying it so, you know—

Julia: It's a new power.

Brandon: —he pulls out— he puts out his hand. He says—

Brandon (as Connor): Wait, stop, stop. You look very ashy and powerful.

Eric (as DiMaggio): That's not a compliment. Arcane Blast!

Julia: Craft takes two steps away from Connor and says—

Julia (as Craft): Uh-oh.

Eric: Connor, you get blasted. You like— in the way, when sometimes you see arcane beams drawn where— like, just envelops your whole—

Brandon: Uh-hmm.

Eric: —face.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: Uh-hmm.

Amanda: Tough.

Eric: And I think you take a powerful blow.

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, man.

Julia: Hmm, that's fair. That's fair.

Eric: You take a powerful blow. I take an arcane shot right to the face.

Julia: Remember that you also get to mark a experience because you failed.

Brandon: Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Eric: So, yeah, let's try to take a powerful blow, and then I want to see— I think you're entering a battle with a dangerous foe as a team, so let's see what happens.

Julia: Brandon, I recommend rolling poorly on this one.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: Yeah, I do, too. Yeah.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Let's see if it works.

Amanda: Like, ideally, a four again would be great.

Brandon: I rolled a 10.

Julia: Oh, no. What's happening?

Eric: I will let you, I will let you use your team point if you act selfishly. I will let you drop it down to a nine.

Julia: Can I do something to help?

Eric: Yeah, I'll let you help. I'll let you help.

Julia: Great. Craft sees this happening, is like, why is Connor putting just a hand out to stop this Arcane Blast and shoves Connor to the side? Or when she steps to the side, rather, grabs Connor by the very large blazer—

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia: —and tugs him with her.

Brandon: I was going to say, what are you gonna grab me by, my Speedo?

Julia: No, your huge blazer you have on.

Amanda: Which is hanging on by a thread.

Julia: By a thread.

Eric: I like that. Yeah, you see the Arcane Blast is charging in the gargoyle's mouth, and you're like, "Oh, this is gonna go poorly." And you try to pull them away?

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Hell yeah. All right. Team is gone for now. We're down to zero.

Julia: That's okay.

Eric: You're now seven to nine, choose one, lash out verbally, provoke a teammate with foolhardy action, or take advantage of your influence to inflict a condition, give ground, your opposition gets an opportunity. You struggle past the pain mark, two conditions.

Brandon: I think I'll just take two conditions.

Eric: Okay.

Brandon: I think one is insecure.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: One because it's minus two to defend someone, but also because he's insecure about his new ability to have a power.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: And then afraid, because these gargoyles are more powerful and he is not.

Amanda: That shit's scary.

Julia: Yeah.

Brandon: Or he's just bad at it.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric: Hell yeah. Are you gonna fight them or try to figure something else?

Julia: I don't know. I think I'll try to figure something else unless they continue to attack us like this, and then maybe we'll enter combat. Who knows?

Brandon: Yeah. Connor always tries to find the non-violent option.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric: Yeah, absolutely. So now, the tall, skinny one comes up behind Craft and says—

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle not understand where short girl went. Where did she go with box?

Julia (as Craft): Whoa.

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle want to know where short girl went with box.

Julia (as Craft): Whoa, whoa, whoa. My guy, we're on your side.

Julia: And I'd like to use my scion move, changed sides.

Amanda: Ay.

Brandon: Oh, what is that?

Julia: When you mislead or trick an enemy by pretending to be on their side, roll plus danger. On a hit, they buy your charade for now. On a seven to nine, you choose one. On a 10 plus, you choose two. On a miss, someone else watching comes to the worst possible conclusion.

Amanda: Let's go.

Julia: Craft's gonna be like—

Julia (as Craft): We're on your side, you know? The Mad Mage of Mad-magistration asked us to come here and deliver this box. I'm sorry that they didn't tell you about the situation.

Eric (as Mantle): Then where is— then Mantle wants to know where box is now.

Julia (as Craft): Inside with our person who's here— also here to deliver the box for your boss.

Amanda: Cool move.

Julia: [dice roll] That is a four plus two plus one danger for a seven.

Eric: Ooh, it's a seven.

Amanda: Ay.

Eric: A mixed success.

Julia: Okay. Here are my options, which is, you avoid having to provide concrete proof. You create an opportunity. You expose a weakness or flaw. I think I'm just gonna avoid having to provide concrete proof.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric: God, this move is so stupid.

Julia: Craft is just like—

Julia (as Craft): Listen, listen, would I lie to you?

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle does not know what we— whether we lie or not lie.

Julia (as Craft): Well, I'm just saying, you know? I'm here on a mission, and I would appreciate, you know, person to person, creation to creation, I guess, if you let us inside to do what we gotta do.

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle does not understand. You are creation, too?

Julia (as Craft): Like, it's a kind of 50/50 thing if I'm being entirely honest, but yeah. Do you think that the Mad Mage is your daddy?

Eric (as Mantle): Mantle has conflicting feelings about daddy.

Julia (as Craft): Oh, dude, same. Big same.

Amanda: We smash cut to a full page spread of the outline of Rowan's body and the outline of the box with just obscured interior. You don't see what's inside the box, moving through like a four-foot thick stone wall and then being just thrown to what I imagine is like a stone floor with maybe like a— I don't know, maybe like a rag, rug, something very rustic and wizard-y, roughly 50 feet up in the air, as Rowan and the box appear inside the wizard tower. What do I see?

Eric: Yeah, on the floor of the wizard tower that you enter in, you are in a library. There is a roaring fire going, and it's like a fantasy library where they don't have books, it's all scrolls.

Brandon: Oh.

Eric: So, like, the scrolls are— they're kind of, like, on— you remember in your high school when they would show you magazines or, like, when you would go to the library and the newspapers would be, like, locked up.

Brandon: What are you talking about?

Amanda: That didn't happen to me.

Eric: You don't know what I'm talking about?

Amanda: No.

Eric: Something you can't check out. They're, like, locked so you can only read them at the library.

Brandon: Okay.

Eric: And you can't check them out, right? So imagine a newspaper, right? Can't check out a newspaper, but you could read the newspaper at there. And it's almost like they were clamped.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric: Like, they were some sort of clamp that was holding them. And I feel like the scrolls are clamped where they are and can only be read in the library. Like, you can only unfurl them—

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric: —off of their clamp to, like, read the whole thing. It's like, instead of a bookshelf, there was a metal rod and a scroll was wrapped around it and clamped at the end.

Amanda: Yeah, like a newspaper stand.

Brandon: Oh, I see.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: There's a Beauty and the Beast bell style ladder that—

Amanda: Hmm.

Eric: —like, goes all the way around the library. The library is all the way around the wizard tower. But each of the steps is actually quite a substantial landing, so you can stand— and each one has, like, a little shelf on it for you to read on, so that you can stay there and read the scroll and you have, like, a little notebook.

Brandon: Love it, yeah.

Julia: Hmm.

Amanda: Yeah.

Julia: That sounds really fun for the magic students.

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah. I love it. Like a rookery.

Brandon: A rookery.

Amanda: Of knowledge.

Eric: No, the rookery—

Amanda: Of knowledge!

Eric: The rookery is one floor— is a bunch of floors up.

Amanda: Oh. Yeah, right.

Eric: You don't want the crow poop to be so close to the scrolls.

Amanda: Nah.

Julia: Hmm.

Amanda: Cool. Rowan spins around a little bit, is like—

Amanda (as Rowan): Nice. Custom work.

Amanda: And then is gonna sort of poke her head out of whatever door or spiral staircase she sees. How do you get between floors in this place? Is there like a hallway with a staircase, or are there— is there like a central stair in the middle?

Eric: There's no door, there's no stairs. I don't know.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: You just have to magic.

Eric: That's a good, gosh darn question.

Amanda: Okay. Cool. Then Rowan is going to amplify her voice with gravitational waves, which is just like a fun thing you can do, is make your voice travel farther and say—

Amanda (as Rowan): Delivery, delivery for the magistrate. Where can I leave this? I need a signature.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Signature, signature, signature, signature.

Amanda (as Rowan): Mad Mage, I'm in your scroll library.

Julia: I'm gonna touch some stuff.

Brandon: I'm gonna start scrolling.

Julia: Cut back to Craft, like, smoking a bowl and being like—

Julia (as Craft): You know, just like he keeps trying to send me these gifts. Like, he's trying to, like, buy my love up and that's kind of fucked up.

Brandon: Connor is just like laying on his back on the ground, just like looking up at clouds.

Eric (as Jeets): What cloud do you think that looks like? I'm Jeets.

Brandon (as Connor): That one's a butt.

Eric (as Jeets): It's definitely a butt.

Brandon (as Connor): That one's a butt.

Julia (as Craft): DiMaggio, you got anything to say about this?

Eric (as DiMaggio): I'm flustered. I haven't dealt with such a situation such as this. You've disarmed by two compatriots. I guess I'll have to check with the Mad Mage and see if he's wait— and see if there are anticipating any package.

Julia (as Craft): Package?

Eric (as DiMaggio): I don't know why we weren't informed. It's very— it's confusing. It's caught— that's strange. It's queer— it's quite queer.

Julia (as Craft): The— those aren't, like, questions for people at our level, you know? You know? I just like— someone tells me do a thing, I gotta do a thing.

Brandon (as Connor): Don't you ever get, like, gifts sent to you or something, you know, that you didn't expect? It happens. Sometimes the package courier comes and says, "Here's the thing that you— it's for you." And I said, "I didn't expect that."

Eric (as DiMaggio): We have been trained to watch for Burlb life form more than anything else.

Brandon (as Connor): I see.

Eric (as DiMaggio): So the only present we would get is aliens trying to steal the whole— the planet and our education system.

Brandon (as Connor): You were taught to see something and say something, I get it.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Let me escort you inside.

Julia (as Craft): Oh, thanks.

Eric (as DiMaggio): It'd be easier to move from inside the tower.

Julia (as Craft): I agree.

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah, I would like that.

Eric: DiMaggio kind of, like, shuffles over to the wizard tower, makes a few hand gestures, and then shoves its claws into the wall and, like—

Brandon (as Connor): Cool.

Eric: —pulls it apart.

Brandon (as Connor): Cool.

Julia (as Craft): Pretty cool.

Eric (as DiMaggio): This will only hold for 30 seconds. Let's go inside.

Julia (as Craft): All right.

Julia: Ducks in.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Jeets, get up.

Eric (as Jeets): Oh.

Amanda: Why are they named after baseball players?

Eric: They're all Yankees.

Julia: Aw.

Brandon: Oh. See, I thought DiMaggio was the funny way of saying damage and then I understand now.

Amanda: I thought DiMaggio was a Met. That— mine's worse, Brandon.

Eric: No, it's DiMaggio, Mantle, and Jeets.

Amanda: Cute.

Julia: Hmm.

Brandon: Well, I don't think of Jeets— Jeter is Jeets, so— but now I understand that.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Brandon: Because DiMaggio, Jeter.

Julia: We figured it out, gang. We done did it.

Eric: I had to change it, because there were characters inside.

Amanda: Cute. All gargoyles should be named after baseball players.

Brandon: Honestly, it's pretty good. Yeah.

Amanda: Keep gargoyles on your house, become a patron at patreon.com/jointhepartypod, and then name your gargoyles after baseball players.

Brandon: True.

Julia: Yeah.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Come, come, come inside. Let's deal with this. Figure it out, and we'll figure out where the package is. It's probably for the— we have to find your friend soon. If you're unescorted in the Made— in the Mad Mage's tower, who knows what terrible magics will try to keep you out.

Julia (as Craft): I mean, what kind of terrible magics would try to keep us out?

Brandon (as Connor): Yeah.

Julia (as Craft): Give me a hint.

Brandon (as Connor): Terrible kinds.

Julia (as Craft): Give me a little spoiler.

Eric (as DiMaggio): Well, first, you'd have to avoid the Mad Mage's familiar.

Brandon (as Connor): What is that? Is that like a friend or something, or like a family member?

Julia (as Craft): Is it a cool buddy?

Eric: Rowan, a whoosh of wind blows out the roaring fireplace, rippling all of the scrolls in the library scroll-atorium. And part of a jump, part of a wing swept leap, is an incredibly large raven, So black, it almost seems outlined in white, and it croaks—

Eric (as raven): Nevermore, nevermore. [squawks]

Amanda: And dives directly at your eyes.

Amanda: No.

Eric (as raven): Nevermore.

[theme]