Hi! It seems like you're trying to solve some puzzles before the volcano melts everything around us. Would you like help with that? Val looks for a rescue. Aggie’s gotta go fast. Milo sees the jump scare.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver
- Co-Host (Milo Lane), Co-Producer, Editor, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle
- Co-Host (Val Vesuvio), Co-Producer, Editor: Julia Schifini
- Co-Host (Aggie O’Hare), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Join the Party is a collaborative storytelling and roleplaying podcast, powered by the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. That means a group of friends create a story together, chapter by chapter, that takes us beyond the tabletop to parts unknown. In the first campaign, we explored fantasy adventure, intrigue, magic, and drama. In the newest story, we tackle science, superpowers, a better future, and the responsibility to help others.
Every month, we sit down for the Afterparty, where we break down our game and answer your questions about how to play D&D and other roleplaying games at home. We also have segments at the beginning of each campaign to teach people how to play the game themselves. It’s a party, and you’re invited! Find out more at jointhepartypod.com.
Transcript
Amanda: Last time on Join the Party…
Eric: Everyone got on the same page as January conducted a meeting for the powered folk and the Morrow team. Dez asked everyone if they wanted any cool tech, which everyone did, and Dr. Morrow impressed the significance of this endeavour upon everyone, even inviting Aggie’s sister Quinn to come by the house. After January’s presentation, Dr. Morrow brought Aggie, Val and Milo to her woodshed, where she organized a training exercise. Inside is the Happy Danger Fun Time Room - name subject to change - where the team can run plenty of training scenarios.
Dr. Morrow smashed the go button and brought the team to the side of a volcano, where they must collect three orbs before time runs out. Or they get burnt by lava. Whichever comes first.
This lava is real and don’t touch it! It’s real hot! I promise! Let’s get the party started.
[Theme music]
Eric: You three are standing on the side of a volcano, the rocks are craggy, the magma is hot. And just because it is a virtual recreation put together by Dr. Morrow, does not mean it's probably dangerous and you shouldn't touch it the instructions in front of you: rendered from igneous rock into red orange and yellows you would only see on National Geographic written in a very beautiful, if not rushed handwriting “find the three orbs, and the floor is lava. Seriously, it's lava, it's hot.” Bunch back together in a whirlpool of magma, and spell out the number 3, then 2, then 1 and “go!” With a ringing bell cast over the PA system obviously from Dr. Morrow in the press box.
Amanda: Okay, do we see orbs anywhere?
Eric: Well, yes! This is wonderful! So the way that this is going to work, hello I'm Dungeon Master Eric it's nice to meet you.
Amanda: Oh— I was just I was excited the floor was lava, and I wanted to get started!
Eric: Well Amanda, like any game you need to take out the instructions, figure out what the instructions are, argue about what exactly it means—
Brandon: Right.
Eric: And then you can start the game.
Brandon: While you're dying of heat stroke.
Eric: While everything's really hot, and you're sweating.
Amanda: Okay, so first what are table stakes here, what do we get if we win?
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: Okay well with train— that's actually a good point. So Dr. Morrow is trying to use this as a training exercise, so if you accomplish the things that she's trying to put out in front of you to improve upon some of the ways you've been fighting against the Nephews and then against the Sommelier and all the other things that we've discussed in the previous episodes, you will get experience and you might be able to level up immediately if you do such a good job.
Amanda: Aw fuck yeah! Okay!
Eric: Self-improvement. Tangible self-improvement is on the line here!
Brandon: It's a goal within itself.
Julia: It’s good to have goals!
Brandon: Yeah!
Eric: So here is how the structure of this is going to work. You see on the like hanging in the sky like an eclipsed sun, is a big old like schoolhouse clock. But instead of numbers on it the regular one through 12 it's kind of just divided into sections. So it's like you have turns here on the clock you can see that there are five segments. So you three have five rounds of this to accomplish the goal, which is grab the three orbs and then return back to the spot in which you're at. You're standing in the middle of the side of this volcano, I sent you a little map here that I put together in canva and I am not very good at putting this together, but I think I did a pretty okay job.
Brandon: I think it's great!
Amanda: The uh the numbers are in the Join the Party font I noticed.
Eric: I did yes I used the Join the Party font it’s nice.
Brandon: It says and the lava is real and it's hot?!
Julia: Yes!
Brandon: Canva is amazing!
Amanda: Ouch!
Julia: It's weird, my computer is melting?
Eric: It's a real hot jpeg, guys.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Envision this kind of like a triangle or a pyramid that you're on this is divided into I guess six different zones, the bottom left is zone one, the bottom right is zone two, the middle left is zone three, uh the middle right is zone four, the top left is zone five, and the top right is zone six.
Amanda: So we're like zigzagging up the mountain?
Eric: Well no your—you can go to any one of the zones, you're standing right in the middle here.
Amanda: Oh so you don't have to go through in sequence?
Eric: No you don't have to go into sequence this is more like just for you to orient yourself, I've divided this into six different zones on a triangle.
Julia: It'd be hard to do six zones in five turns anyway.
Amanda: True!
Eric: Well luckily there are four of you! You three and Clippy in his 70s shaggy haircut, and nondescript jersey, and shorts who's
Eric (as Clippy): Hey it looks like you're trying to solve a puzzle! I'm here to help!
Eric: Before everything starts it's kind of the pre-round one, I want you all to make perception checks.
Julia: Okay.
Brandon: Cool.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 16!
Julia: 2.
[Brandon sighs deeply]
Julia: Did you also roll a 2, Brandon?
Brandon: I did actually.
[Eric laughing]
Eric: Wonderful!
Julia: Oh jesus, we keep twinsing like this!
Brandon: Plus— wait but I have a +7 to perception, so it is a 9!
Eric: Alright wonderful! So you all see kind of the basic orientation here, all of the orbs that you can see are on like American Gladiator style pedestals. You know those really chunky ones that look like obelisks that also are flat for you to put an orb at the top? All of the orbs are also kind of this like shimmering gray. It's kind of like if you had a bowling ball that was glittered all around it. One orb is in zone one, so in your bottom left and there is a magma ring around zone one there. In zone two there is another orb that is on a pedestal and you see that there are stone hands, kind of like larger than all three of you. About like eight feet tall imagine if the easter island statues the eastern island heads, but they were hands instead.
Amanda: Hell no!
Eric: And it seems like there are little cracks of magma running through them. In zone three you see the ball pit that I referenced before the image I have here, I literally took it from Dashcon, so it is the Dashcon ball pit.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric: It's just like if someone took a child's kiddie pool and just like filled it with plastic balls. In zone four you see that there is a wrought iron cage about like 10x10m just kind of like sitting there. In five and six, you see that looking up going to the actual mouth of the volcano there are three bridges leading to three different orbs. Then all of them are extending into the actual mouth and lava of the volcano.
Amanda: How tall would you say the volcano is? Like how far away is each section?
Eric: So you are able to go to each one. It should be within everybody's speed to go towards the things. But imagine that you're kind of like at the top of a mountain if you were skiing let's say and you took like the gondola all the way up you're just kind of looking at that top, like tippy top section here. So it's it's very hot, it's very craggly, and I guess like you don't have to go through any other section to go to a section, it's just kind of like you want to go up to five or six? You want to go left to three? Right to four? Or down left or down right to one and two?
Amanda: So we're like halfway up the volcano and we sort of have all the sections and like the various points all around us.
Eric: Yes correct. Alright Amanda you got a 16.
Amanda: I did!
Eric: With a 16 you can see that at the top kind of like at the top of five, which is really next to like a real lake of fire happening over there, you see that there is a like a park bench, and an older gentleman in a cardigan is sitting there—
Brandon: Don't trust them.
Eric: Drinking a cool drink.
Brandon: Don't trust him.
Julia: Bad villain!
Eric: Milo with a nine you notice that that is in fact a ball pit from Dashcon, like I don't know if Dr. Morrow took that and took it from tumblr, and rendered it into actual pixels, and you're like “oh that's really interesting” uh in the cage, is a corgi!
Brandon: Don't trust it!
Amanda: Oh no.
Eric: And Val, with a two, man it's so hot, it is so hot.
Julia (as Val): It's so hot in here!
Eric: I don't know how she made it hot in here from bits and bites and boops, and ones and zeros. But it's hot!
Julia: It's messed up man.
Brandon: That's the secret Dr. Morrow knows how to introduce twos.
[Eric laughing]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I woke up and I realized just put a two in there! That's how you touch!
[Brandon and Julia laughing]
Brandon: Remind me of the ultimate goal— I forget we have to get all the orbs, or just a couple of them?
Eric: The ultimate goal is find the three orbs.
Brandon: Gotcha.
Eric: And you can see— everyone can see there are five.
Amanda: What do you mean “the three orbs”
Eric: The instructions said it said find the three orbs. However when all of you are looking around you see that there are five. One in zone one, one in zone two, and three on three different bridges going into the mouth of the volcano.
Amanda: Aggie turns to you guys and says
Amadna (as Aggie): Well clearly one of the ones at the top of the volcano is right, if not all three of them so I can go for those.
Julia (as Val): Okay, I mean obviously we should be splitting up here, because like we don't have time to go to each one together that would be stupid.
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah.
Amanda (as Aggie): Val you're really into dogs, right?
[Beat of silence]
Julia (as Val): There's a dog? What there's a dog here?!
Brandon (as Milo): Don't trust the dog! Don't trust the dog!
Julia (as Val): Wait but there's a dog?!
Brandon (as Milo): It’s—It's to our right, in the cage there's a corg— there's a corgi in here.
Julia (as Val): What?! Oh hell yeah! I'm gonna go check out the dog!
Brandon (as Milo): But there's no orb in there!
Julia (as Val): But there's a dog!
Brandon (as Milo): Crap.
Eric: Okay so the way that this works is each one of you will act on every single one of the rounds. You will have five rounds, so as you move to the thing and whatever will count as an actual action. It’s going to be the thing that you do, so we're in pre-one and your first action along with what you do, and Clippy does will be round one, and then I will tell you what round you're all in and all that good stuff.
Julia: Cool! I would like to rage before we get started!
Eric: Absolutely, that sounds good.
Amanda (as Aggie): Um… Clippy?
Eric (as Clippy): Yeah, hi! I'm here to help!
Amanda (as Aggie): Clippy which of the orbs do we need to get?
Eric (as Clippy): Well it sounds like we need to get three, and I can see one, two, three, four, five, five! So we'll get three out of the five!
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks Clippy.
Amanda (as Aggie): Can you lower the temperature? Sorry I don't know if you're like a connected device, but that would be really helpful.
Eric (as Clippy): Sure thing!
Eric: And yeah a smart thermostat kind of pops out of his chest, and he turns it down he's like
Eric (as Clippy): Oh can't turn it down below 90. Sorry guys.
Amanda (as Aggie): Clippy what—what can you do? Do you have like a actions menu?
Eric (as Clippy): Uh well, I can pretty much do whatever you do you just gotta tell me how I can help!
Eric: Aggie do you have any computer savvy?
Amanda: I mean I am proficient in paperwork, and so I feel like it counts.
Eric: You can deal with systems.
Brandon: I'm proficient in eBay is it does he know how to sell and resell objects?
Amanda: Like navigating the bureaucratic old janky computers of city hall.
Eric: Yeah I was going to give you disadvantage for computers, but now I’ll give you advantage for like systems so it all kind of balances out, so I want you to make a—
Julia: [Laughs] Bureaucracy.
Eric: An intelligence check.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Uh it was a critical 1. So that's where I'm at.
Eric: [Laughs] Oh wonderful.
Julia: Luck point!
Amanda: Yeah I’ll do a luck point, sure!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: A 12.
Eric: Wonderful!
Amanda: Alright I'm pretty gosh darn smart!
Eric: Pretty gosh darn smart!
Julia: Not even charismatic either, oof. Poor Aggie.
Amanda: Nope!
Brandon: It's a rough life.
Amanda: I am constitute, and I am dexterous, and sometimes wise.
Eric: So with a 12 you're able to kind of fiddle around with the dial that's on Clippy's chest which pops up into a screen—
Amanda: Ooh that tickles!
Eric: And you're able to figure out what exactly help means. So this help means that mechanically you can do one of two different types of inspiration. If you're getting attacked as a reaction, Clippy can give one d8 to your AC for that attack. Or if you ask Clippy to help you to teach you to do something, it can give you a die of inspiration which is one d8 that you can hold but uh just for skill checks, and uh attacks and stuff.
Julia: Can Clippy take actions on his own?
Eric: Yes he can! So you can just tell Clippy to do something and they can go do it for you, they can also if you want them to just do the help action, they'll just give you advantage on whatever you're doing.
Brandon: Cool!
Julia: Cool.
Eric: So that is spelled out in like Linux text is what help actually means.
Julia: Cool so if I said “hey Clippy go check the ball pit” Clippy would go check the ball pit?
Eric: Yep!
Brandon: Cool!
Julia: I think that's worth one round of things.
Brandon: I think so too!
Amanda: Yeah!
Julia: Don't trust the ball pit.
Eric: Absolutely so now if we go into round one, each one of you gets to do one thing, one action.
Brandon (as Milo): So I think I could uh go to section one pretty, easily I can I'm pretty sure I can like fly— uh so I could go over the lava and I can check the ball pit— the ball I can check the ball and it'll be fine.
Julia (as Val): [Their voice get a little higher] Ummm, you— I'm sorry? You could fly? Since when do you fly?
Brandon (as Milo): I've done it once or twice, like I woke up like levitating off my bed um once and I—I—I think it'll be fine? It'll be fine!
Julia (as Val): Okay… Well that’s a scene from Ghostbusters are you sure you weren't dreaming?
Brandon (as Milo): No I'm not, that's a good point.
Julia (as Val): Okay.
Brandon (as Milo): But I'm willing to try.
Julia (as Val): Great! I'm gonna go look at the dog.
[Everyone laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): No that makes sense, I think—I think if Clippy can check out the the ball pit because nothing good has ever come out of a ball pit, and I will head up to the top and see what these different orbs are. Should I talk to the guy, or no?
Julia (as Val): I wouldn't. I don't trust old men. Especially ones that sit on park benches.
Brandon (as Milo): That's a good point.
Julia (as Val): Unless they're feeding like pigeons or something.
Brandon (as Milo): If there are pigeons, you may talk. Let's go by that rule.
Amanda (as Aggie): Fair enough I I trust two birds trust—
[Brandon bursts out laughing]
Julia (as Val): Cause maybe he's just lonely, you know?
Amanda (as Aggie): Everyone needs someone to talk to!
Julia (as Val): It's hard to grow old.
Brandon (as Milo): That's true, that's true.
[Eric laughing]
Eric: Thank you for putting that fear of mortality in my brain, Julia. Everyone let's just make some dexterity rolls to see what order everything happens in, and then Clippy will go last.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Okay I got a 16.
Amanda: 15.
Brandon: 13 +2 for 15.
Eric: Oh did did two people get 15?
Amanda: Yes.
Brandon and Julia: Yeah!
Eric: Oh roll again! Roll off!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 8!
Brandon: 5!
Eric: Wonderful, okay so first let's go Val. Val you're going to walk over to the right and you are looking at this wrought iron cage and you see that there is a full-sized corgi inside of this cage.
Julia: I would like to specify that Val has heard that there is a dog there, and therefore sprints over to the cage—
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Because they are really excited.
Brandon: I like that Eric specified a full-sized corgi, as opposed to—
Julia: Full sized corgi not a puppy!
Brandon: A very tiny corgi or a very large corgi.
Eric: Listen it might come into play, you never know you need to specify how large it is if you're going to pick it up in your hands.
Brandon: That's true!
Eric: So the corgi is in there, you're looking at the cage, and it's just like medieval. It's like this is wrought iron bars, there's like a big chunky like 19th century lock locking this thing in, and the corgi is just in there and it goes
Eric (as Corgi): [Yaping like a puppy] Help me!
Amanda: Oh no.
Julia: Uh, okay… Um so there is a lock on the cage, right? It's not like a lock built into it, it is a separate lock?
Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Okay uh—
Eric: Like if you were if you were looking at a medieval stocks, like this would be the big like “hey you peasants, don't try to mess with this lock!” Sort of size lock.
Brandon: Smash the lock! Smash the lock!
Brandon and Amanda: Smash the lock! Smash the lock!
Julia: I will tell you what my thought process was asking that question, and it was that usually construction during that period they wouldn't do full like hinge keys, they would only do a half key, so you could like basically just lift the door up and take it off rather than you know have to break it off.
Brandon: That seems not smart on those people's behalf’s.
Julia: It's a plot point of Pirates of the Caribbean, fun fact.
[Brandon and Amanda laughing]
Eric: Do you want to make an investigation check?
Julia: Sure!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Uh, I got a 16 -1, so a 15.
Eric: Alright with a 15, you think back to the many times you've watched the movie Pirates of the Caribbean—
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: So you try to like just lift the door up, and because Dr. Morrow realized you were someone was going to do this, this is actually a lock putting the door attached to the cage so it's a real lock it just looks kind of like “mother fucker, don't try to mess with me” sort of lock.
Julia: Cool I'm gonna try and find a rock, and just hammer away at this thing.
Eric (as Corgi): Yip yip yip, yip! Help me! Yip yip yip!
Julia (as Val): I'm trying! Small sweet pup!
Brandon: God this dog is going to kill us all.
Julia: It's fine, I don't care!
Eric: Yeah you can just pick up a piece of like igneous rock that is cooled down, this is some good messin’ people up style rocks so yeah you can just come down on it!
Amanda: New York geologic band Shaped by Glaciers!
Eric: [Laughs] Uh yeah make an attack roll.
Julia: Cool.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: Okay, oh that's actually really good! So it's a 17 plus my strength which is 6, plus an additional 2, so 17 +8 which is a 25!
Brandon: That's a large number.
Julia: Yeah yeah that's a good number!
Eric: Yeah that hits! Do that damage!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: It's 10 damage.
Eric: Okay uh you do 10 damage to this rock, you come down on it with all the force of trying to get a dog out of a cage, and it's cracked but it's still holding fast.
Julia: Okay I can try again after.
Amanda: Julia did he do two attacks?
Julia: Oh I can do two attacks now!! Thank you, Amanda! I forgot that I have a second attack!!
Brandon: Oh nice!
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Alright um okay that's a 12 +6, +2 so 12. So it's a dirty 20.
Eric: Uh yes that hits!
Julia: Okay cool I’ll do the same thing 1d6 +6.
Brandon: Eric I would argue that—
Julia: That's 9.
Brandon: Val does have proficiency in rock, because you know they—
Julia: Because I'm rock and roll bitch!
Amanda: That's a good point!
Eric: Sorry let me look at my thesaurus, no that's not what a rock means, there are two different types of rocks.
Julia: You know fair enough!
Eric: It's a homonym.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: What damage did you do?
Julia: 9 damage!
Eric: Oh yeah with 9 damage this thing is like holding on just for dear life, if you like breathed on it after this, you'd be able to take it apart but right now you can like shake the door, and the dog is like going
Eric (as Corgi): Yip yip, help me!
Eric: You still can't— it's you still can't get the door.
Julia: I’m going to use my bonus action, and I am going to use my leather jacket to use my battle ranger armor attack.
Eric: What are so you're just like lowering your shoulder into the lock?
Julia: Yep!
Eric: Alright do one more attack for me!
Julia: 15 +8 so 23.
Eric: Alright yeah you lower your shoulder, and you run the studs of your leather jacket against the lock, and it snaps!
Julia: Whoo!
Eric: And the door swings open and the corgi runs forward and goes
Eric (as Corgi): [In a robotic tone] Yip yip! Wow thank you Val! Yip yip!
Julia: Horrifying!
Brandon: I do not like this dog!
Julia (as Val): Do you want to come with me?
Eric (as Corgi): Yip yip, thank you Val!
Eric: And it jumps into your arms, so it takes both of your arms to hold this corgi, so you're gonna have to put down the corgi if you want to do something else.
Julia: Can I— counter point, can I put it against my chest and then zip up my leather jacket?
Brandon: Oh my god.
[Amanda gasps]
Eric: I did make the point to say that it was a full-sized corgi, and it would not fit in your leather jacket unfortunately.
Julia: I don’t know, I think a full-sized corgi is what about 15 pounds?
Amanda: Butt hanging out the bottom, head out the top!
Eric: Okay you know what hold on give me a slight of hand check with disadvantage!
Julia: Oh that I'm good at that though, I’m good at that! Hold on.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Okay 16 +4 for dirty 20, and an 11 +5 for 15.
Eric: I'm gonna roll each time for the corgi to scramble out of your leather jacket, but right now you have the corgi zipped up in your leather jacket, congratulations.
Julia: Val just goes
Julia (as Val): What is your name?
Eric (as Corgi): Yip yip yip, thank you Val.
Julia (as Val): Okay Yip Yip that is your name now.
Eric: Uh alright let's do Aggie now! Aggie what's going on?
Amanda: Yes so I'm trying to reach the bridges here, which are at the top of five and six. So I would let's just run straight up the middle of these two quadrants—
Eric: Sure.
Amanda: And how far does my regular kind of motion take me?
Eric: So you can get to the mouth, you cannot go out to the actual bridges just yet.
Amanda: I’d like to use step of the wind and get as far as I can toward the farthest orb.
Eric: You're just gonna run out to one of the three bridges?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Can you tell me which one you do?
Amanda: I want to go up the middle to the middle one.
Eric: Okay so you're running up the bridge, and you can see as you look around each of the bridges are exactly the same except for their placement in the mouth of the volcano. So you run up the middle one, and with your speed using step of the wind you can run all the way up to the orb.
Amanda: Before I grab it do I sense any traps or danger?
Eric: What are you looking for exactly?
Amanda: I suspect that some of these orbs are holograms or extremely hot? And I want to avoid grabbing them if either of those is the case.
Eric: Okay why don't you make an investigation check for me?
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: 15.
Eric: So you look down at the ground, and you see that the stuff that you were running up on the volcano seems to be like hardened igneous rock you know? Like once it cools it is now rock but below you, you look down at your feet and you see that like it's almost like when you're running on pavement on a hot day, and it's sticking to your feet it's a little sludgy here, which could bode poorly.
Amanda: Looking left and right do the other pedestals seem to be on different kind of ground?
Eric: Uh I can't give you that with a 15, you can only see what's on your feet.
Amanda: I'm going to grab it and run back.
Eric: So you put your hands on this orb, and you feel like your feet sink into the bridge and as you look down the sludginess of the stone is holding you in place as you put your hands on the orb in the middle bridge.
Amanda: Is it like as I lift it up my feet sink lower?
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Alright well considering I'm already here I am going to grab the orb under one arm and, yeah to turn back and get back over the bridge.
Eric: Okay for you to move from the stickiness, with disadvantage you need to hit a 20. With the athletics check.
Julia: Oof.
Amanda: I got one nat 20 and one 11 so it's only 12.
Eric: Uh Aggie you're currently stuck there. Let's go with Milo, Milo you're running to zone one?
Brandon: Yes I'm running and it's been a while since I've run this much so I'm I am huffing. Milo stops as he gets to the edge of the lava, and he sort of like starts talking to himself and he's like
Brandon (as Milo): Alright I can do this, alright here we go you know what you got to do ghost friend.
Brandon: And he's going to in a superman pose, like jump into the air, and I'm going to cast gaseous form which is a third level spell.
Amanda: Yes!
Julia: Very cool!
Brandon: Which any willing creature I touch, which is me, I turn into a misty cloud for the duration.
Amanda: Hell yeah!
Brandon: And it means that I can fly essentially, and I have a flying speed of 10 feet.
Julia: So fast, such a flyer.
Brandon: Such a flyer.
Eric: Alright [laughs] alright, you turn into gas, and like it's maybe like you're even like a spiritual sort of you're just like a spirit—
Brandon: I’m just like a spooky ghost at this point.
[Brandon laughing]
Eric: Yeah and you hover over the river of lava, and next turn if you come out of gaseous form, you are firmly on the other side.
Brandon: Great um I just want to clarify that when he jumped into the air like Superman, and turned into gas it was not what he was expecting, so he did sort of like tumble forward, and was like “oh this is how I thought this would go.”
[Julia laughs]
Eric: But now you're just spirits so no one can even see it, so you really just hid your mistake.
Brandon: Right, if a ghost makes an embarrassing mistake and no one's around to see it does he make the mistake?
Amanda: No!
Eric: No, absolutely not. Wonderful okay so now you're in a gaseous form. Clippy is over in the ball pit, and I'm gonna roll for Clippy.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: I believe in Clippy.
Amanda: I believe in you Clips!
Eric: Clippy roots around in the ball pit, and reaches down and pulls out a big golden key and he turns around and says
Eric (as Clippy): Do we need this for anything?
[Brandon laughing]
Julia (as Val): Was it the key to the the corgi door?
Eric (as Clippy): I don't know it's just a big key, it's a golden key!
Julia (as Val): Just hold onto it, just hold onto it!
Eric (as Clippy): Alright!
Eric: And he puts it like in his pocket, and then it disappears.
[Amanda laughs]
Julia: Okay.
Eric (as Clippy): It's in my inventory!
[Brandon laughing]
Julia: Oh okay!
Brandon: I like that whatever he has like one volume setting.
Eric: You gotta go into preferences to change that. Alright so we're gonna go from round one to round two, but here's what happens in round one. Aggie you look down and you see that the lava is bubbling up, and it's getting closer and closer, and this is only something that you thought would happen in action movies but the lava is coming right towards you.
Amanda: Oh great.
Julia: Oh no, Aggie!
Eric: The lava bursts from the volcano drenching in lava all three of the bridges, and you two see that this shoots up into the air, and lands covering all of zone two.
Brandon: That can't be good.
Julia: Okay so is that orb just like not available now?
Eric: No so after that happens it kind of just like dissipates, it's like it's running into invisible greats and now zone two is back to the way it was.
Julia: Great so it's basically like hope that Eric doesn't roll the zone that you're currently in.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Aggie please take 16 points of fire damage.
Julia: Jesus! Alright Aggie I'm coming to get you next don't worry.
Brandon: Send the pup maybe they can run faster! It's a corgi, they can't never mind.
Julia: That’s true, their legs are so short—
Amanda: Would you say that was a ranged attack?
Eric: I would not say it's a ranged attack, no.
Amanda: DAMMIT.
Eric: You can’t grab it and throw it back at the volcanto.
Amanda: Why not?! Why be a monk if you can't grab lava?!
[Eric laughing]
Brandon: That's a good point Eric have you considered? That's a good point.
Eric: You know I thought about it, and I can't do that unfortunately.
Amanda: I spewed rocks at me that would be one thing.
Eric: Alright so Aggie now you are just like you have the feeling of just being drenched, it's like you're wet but that that hurt. It was like boiling hot water covered you.
Amanda (as Aggie): This why I don't wear shorts outside the house!
Eric: You also hear over the PA system Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I said it was real lava. I wasn't kidding!
Amanda (as Aggie): This would be just as effective as a virtual exercise!
Eric: Wonderful it is now round two!
[Transition Note]
Amanda: Hey it's Amanda I could not think of many words to say about how much I love apple cider, other than the fact that apple cider is amazing, and the first day that you can seasonally appropriately drink apple cider with whiskey, or without is I think my favorite day of the year. This is the mid roll look it's honey crisp cider! So cool!
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And now, back to the show!
[Transition note]
[Lava bubbling]
Eric: Right now Milo you’re gas, Val you're standing in zone four with the corgi, and Aggie is stuck to the bridge, and Clippy is standing in the ball pit with a golden key in his inventory.
Julia: Val is just like
Julia (as Val): Clippy come with me!
Julia: And then runs up to go pull Aggie out.
Eric: Wonderful, Val and Milo uh want to make dex rolls to see who goes first.
Julia: Cool, cool, cool.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: Uh 6.
Brandon: 12!
Eric: Okay so Milo we're gonna go with you first.
Brandon: Yeah I'm just going to uh drop the spell and then land on my feet, and then um I would like to do an investigation check before I get to the orb, but I'm going to run towards the arm orb.
Eric: Okay as soon as you land please make a wisdom saving throw.
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Well I got a nat 20 +7 so you know
[Everyone cheers]
Brandon: I'm the wisest wise men of all wiseses!
Amanda: You are the game master!
Brandon: I'm the DM now get out!
Julia: Show those dice!
Eric: Alright as soon as you land on a solid ground, you're looking around it doesn't really feel like there's anything around there other than the orb on the pedestal, and you take a few steps forward like tentatively, and you hear the sound of a violin being played slow like at its really high highest point it's like “eee eeee eee eee!” And you're like “wait a second that's the sound they make in horror movies when they want to scare you” and then you look, down and you see that there's like a trap door at your feet and like bursting out is a fire skeleton that goes BALALALAAL! And you're like “what?”
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: It might as well be something from the Halloween store if this wasn't an actual skeleton that was on fire going “BALALALA!” so that's what happened so you're fine. What do you do?
Brandon: Hmm I wish I had de-animate dead.
Amanda: True.
Eric: With it at 20 I will say it seems like this fire skeleton is attached to something that is coming up out of the ground so it can't move to follow you. Right now it's just kind of screaming at you and like its bones are on fire!
[Brandon laughs]
Brandon: Okay well then Milo's just gonna like take one slow slide away while looking side to side, and then continue on towards the orb.
Eric: Yeah you could just keep walking towards the orb yeah great so uh with your movement you can go all the way to the orb, and you can just pick it up.
Brandon: Great and there's nothing else around it that I need to be worried about?
Eric: Yeah as you look down you see that there are other trap doors like all around the orb.
Brandon: Great well then I just avoid them all and grab the orb!
Eric: There you go!
Eric: Alright so Milo you're holding the orb there you go, congratulations!
Brandon: Yeah! And I do a little Mario jump in the air bop baa!
Eric: It's a-me! Alright let's go to Val here Val uh what are you doing?
Julia: I wanna pull Aggie out of the muck.
Eric: Alright wonderful, so I'm gonna make a make another slight of hand check to keep the corgi in.
Julia: Yes, of course.
Eric: Right now you need—you need a 15 to keep it in.
Julia: Okay
[Dice rolls]
Julia: I got a 12 +4, 16.
Eric: Okay so it is still inside of your jacket.
Amanda: I think Julia gets bark inspiration from this corgi.
Julia: Do I get bark inspiration from the corgi?
Eric: Mo but Clippy says
Eric (as Clippy): Oh do you need help with that?
Julia (as Val):: Yes wait no hold on, Clippy you're gonna help me get Aggie out if we need to— if I need help okay?
Eric (as Clippy): Alright tell me what to do!
Julia (as Val): Cool,
Eric:You, the corgi, and Clippy make it up to the lip of the volcano, since Aggie used a step of the wind to get all the way up there, you can only make it to the lip of the volcano.
Julia: May I use charger feat?
Eric: Yeah if you want to dash you can dash, and then try to attack something while you're doing that.
Julia: Attack. It's either attack or push so maybe I can try to push Aggie out of the muck?
Amanda: Only if you get in it with me.
Brandon: I hope Aggie's knees don't break yeah.
Amanda: Yeah if you have a rope I'd rather you not get entrapped as well.
Brandon: Make Clippy do it.
Amanda: How about you carry Clippy to the lip, and then Clippy can go over the bridge to me?
Julia: I mean Clippy's got the same amount of movement that I do so.
Amanda: You can carry Clippy, and then Clippy moves.
Julia: Does that work Eric?
Eric: Yeah that's fine!
Julia: Alright cool, I pick up Clippy.
Eric: Clippy is like your helper if this was like in World of Warcraft this is kind of like your little companion who goes along so if you want to send them out there on the uh on the bridge you totally can!
Julia: Yeah alright
Julia (as Val): Clippy go help Aggie.
Eric (as Clippy): Alright, I’ll go help Aggie!
Eric: And now Clippy just starts like clomping down from the middle bridge.
Brandon: And then Clippy edits her document.
Julia (as Val): Thanks Clippy.
Eric: Turns it into a letter Clippy!
Amanda: I did not mean that form of their!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: So Clippy says
Eric (as Clippy): Hi, how can I help you?
Amanda (as Aggie): Uh can you pull me out please?
Eric (as Clippy): Sure I can try!
Eric: Awesome I will give you a help action so you get advantage on the strength check. Again it is an athletics of 20.
Brandon: Do we think that Clippy can like phase through the ground? Like can Clippy come and like scoop your feet out?
Julia: I think we are putting too much credit to Clippy.
Brandon: Clippy is the simulation. Volcano is Clippy, Clippy is volcano you know?
Eric: Over the PA Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Milo you're in your head, stop being in your head.
Julia (as Val): You're reading too much into it Milo!
Brandon (as Milo): I'm creative problem solving!
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Still only 15.
Eric: Alright with a 15 Aggie uh—
Amanda: Can I try to re-roll?
Eric: If you want to use a luck point, you can re-roll.
Amanda: Alright.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: No a 13.
Eric: Okay uh with Clippy trying to pull you as hard as he can and you're trying to get your feet out, you're still stuck in the bridge. I will give you— you're still stuck so you can't move, but I will let you if you want to do an action or something, or use an item you can give it a shot.
Amanda: I mean can I attack the lava? Can I try to like carve out the lava around my feet to help me step out?
Eric: Yeah sure, make an attack roll.
Brandon: That's a great idea!
Amanda: I'm gonna pull out of my biker shorts I just had like an awkward flashlight looking thing in my pocket, and I pull out the sword hilt that Dez gave me so I'm gonna use that sword uh which gives me 2d6 of damage. So first I’ll roll to attack the lava—
Eric: Oh yeah you take the hard light buster out of your pocket, and it goes FLLIIING! And now you have this like giant six foot long two foot wide uh laser sword by your side.
[Dice rolling]
Amanda: So I only rolled an 8 to attack I’ll re-roll.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: Only a 7.
Eric: Okay and you try to slash with the hard light buster at your feet you're able to crack it a little bit, but you can't get out of there. But now Clippy is here and Clippy says
Eric (as Clippy): Hey, it's going to be okay, next time, truly next time you got it!
Eric: And you get a 1d8 of bardic inspiration that you can use for next time.
Amanda: Okay well that was only one of my attacks so I'm gonna try my second one.
Eric: Yeah do it!
Brandon: Clippy is wonderful.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: So a plus three is an 11, does that do it, or should I use my die?
Eric: That does not do it.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 15.
Eric: Yeah! With a 15 it hits!
Amanda: Alright thank christ!
Eric: So you got 2d6 plus your dexterity.
Brandon: Thank Clippy!
Amanda: Alright so 8 plus my dex uh 11.
Eric: Alright with 11 yeah you hacked at the melty rock at your feet, and you were able to bust out!
Amanda: Alright awesome!
Julia: Aw hell yeah!
Amanda: I’ll use my movement to get over the bridge, as far as I can.
Eric: Okay wonderful so you can get to the end of the bridge so now you, Clippy, and Val are all the lip of the volcano.
Amanda: Oh thank goodness.
Eric: Val and Aggie uh which zone are you in right now are you in five or are you six?
Amanda: We should probably split up I’ll say six.
Julia: I’ll say five then.
Amanda: Let's just like stand on slightly different sides of the like dividing line.
Eric: Yeah, and then uh Clippy is holding Aggie's hand. As reassuring so it'll come with you.
Julia: That’s very sweet.
Amanda (as Aggie): I normally wouldn't permit this but right now that's fine.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: Val the corgi in your jacket turns up to you and says
Eric (as Yip Yip): Uh oh!
Julia: Okay… Uh I want to move, let me move!
Eric: You can't move, you used all your movement unfortunately. Alright and now we're in between rounds two and three, you see again the volcano shakes violently and the lava bursts into the air and Milo there's a shadow just hanging over you, and the lava splooshes on top of Milo.
Brandon: Oh no I'm gonna use absorb elements as a reaction—
Julia: Oooo good choice!
Brandon: So it captures some of the incoming energy lessening the effect on me, and storing it for my next melee attack, which I'm gonna punch a volcano!
Eric: Aw hell yeah!
[Julia makes punching noises]
Brandon: I have resistance to the triggering damage type.
Eric: Wonderful, okay so you were hit with 24 damage which is brought down to 12.
Brandon: Beautiful!
Eric: And you can do an extra 1d6 of fire damage next time you do a melee!
Brandon: Yeah I'm gonna punch that corgi!
Julia: [Noticeably worried] What?!
[Brandon and Ericlaugh]
Eric: Alright see it is now round three, what are you all gonna do?
Brandon: I think I can hop over to section two and try to grab that orb?
Julia: Yeah go check out what's up with those hands.
Eric: Alright uh Milo so you can get into section two, but you have to run all the way the length of section one, and jump over the lava.
Brandon: Cool yeah Milo's feeling confident, so he's just gonna take a jump this time.
Eric: Alright so you're gonna have to hit a DC 10 of athletics.
Julia: Brandon's like I rolled a nat 20, clearly I'm gonna roll high again!
Brandon: I mean no I have a +0 athletics, let's see.
Julia: I know I'm very concerned about you, this is a bold choice.
[Dice rolling]
Julia: No Brandon… No!!
Brandon: Eric I got a 9.
Eric: Aw beans, aw beansies.
Brandon: Oh I forgot to do our spiritual surge table too, Eric.
Eric: Oh we'll do that alright! So first take 11 points of fire damage.
Julia: [Sighs] Oh god.
Brandon: Okay I'm down to 9 health points.
Eric: And roll a d20 for me—
Brandon: Absorb elements is also a spell.
Eric: Oh so roll yeah dude let's do two.
Julia: Roll twice, roll twice!
Brandon: Well the first one was a 3, and that is one of my numbers!
Amanda: Great!
Eric: There you go, and now roll again to see if you get a nat 1.
Brandon: Uh that's a 14.
Eric: Okay wonderful. Oh beans so roll d10 bud!
Amanda: Be helpful,, be helpful, be helpful!
Julia: Please!
Brandon: 8.
Eric: Ohhhh. Oh wonderful alright um—
Brandon: I hate that sound.
Eric: As you cast to try to protect yourself from the elements, uh the hand it's just kind of hanging out, it's just staying there and you're looking around to see if anything happened to you, and right now it's just hanging out.
Brandon: Terrifying! I try to give it a high five.
Eric: It high fives you.
Brandon: Cool!
Eric: And you feel a deep chill go through your body, and take 1 point of necrotic damage.
Brandon: Genuinely?
Eric: Yeah, genuinely!
Brandon: Okay.
Julia: Oh my god.
Eric: Wonderful so you right now Milo you're on the border of zones one and two, so right now you're just firmly in the center there so you're good.
Brandon: Great! So did I cross over the lava?
Eric: Yeah you like you tried to jump over it and like your foot touched the lava, and you're like “AHHH!”
Brandon: Yeah that’s smarts.
Eric: [Laughs] And Milo says “that's smarts!” And you take that damage yeah. But now don’t worry, you're standing on the hang, and you have your ghost friend with you!
Brandon: Great!
Eric: Uh so now Aggie and Val what do you do?
Julia: Val is gonna turn to Aggie be like
Julia (as Val): Are we going for these other orbs? Is that— are we cool with that? Should we go together so we don't get stuck again?
Amanda (as Aggie): I mean if there's definitely one in zone two, we just have to get that one right?
Julia (as Val): Well again I still think that like some of these are decoys, I'm not entirely sure but like I think that they might be? So I'd rather like cover all our bases and be like oh we got all the orbs!
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah let's— let's go together.
Julia (as Val): Okay cool we'll go for the do you want to go for the one on the right or the one on the left?
Amanda (as Aggie): A is for Aggie but C is for calzone so really it's up to you—
[Brandon laughing]
Julia (as Val): I'm gonna go A is for Aggie because I don't know how I feel about you comparing me to calzones. Or associating me with calzones.
Amanda (as Aggie): Um I'm so sorry are—are calzones from like the tip of the boot, not the heel? I don't want to misrepresent your family.
Julia (as Val): Calzone is just worse pizza.
[Brandon laughing]
Amanda (as Aggie): I'm glad right we’re on the same page about this.
Julia (as Val): It's like they added more dough when they didn't need more dough—
Amanda (as Aggie): It's like why not just have a dumpling?
Julia (as Val): And then you bite into it, and it's so hot and it burns the roof of your mouth every. Single. Time.
Amanda (as Aggie): Why not have a pierogi? They shouldn't be wet.
[Brandon continues laughing]
Amanda: Yeah great and then we're gonna run down uh bridge A.
Eric: Okay so both of you are going down bridge A it looks exactly the same as the one in the mid the bridge in the middle, and the bridge on the right there's an orb on a pedestal at the end of this bridge in the middle of a volcano.
Julia: Cool, I think what I would like to do is I would like to, with Aggie's permission, pick her up and kind of hold her out so that she has extra length—
Amanda: Cool yeah! I can also lay my sword out as like a little bridge between the actual bridge and the pedestal.
Julia: That is also a good idea.
Amanda: If the blade is so broad I can just like walk over it.
Eric: 100% yeah so yeah you lay down your laser sword, and it's like two feet wide this is perfectly easy for you to walk on.
Amanda: Yeah like listen, if it's if it's a prototype and it's disposable I might as well try!
Eric: Yeah absolutely um yeah you walk on the light buster sword, and you're now standing directly in front of the orb.
Amanda: I grab it!
Eric: Yeah you pick it up.
Amanda: I'm gonna give them both to Clippy to put in inventory.
Brandon: Smart!
Amanda: From both hands.
Eric: Uh yeah Clippy even walks over there and nothing happens, you can walk back on the bridge!
Julia: Val goes
Julia (as Val): We have three orbs, just saying! Just pointing out that fact right there!
Eric: Over the PA system, Dr. Morrow says
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well if you think you're done, just go back to the middle!
Amanda (as Aggie): That sounds very passive aggressive like a teacher saying the instruction then the last instruction is like don't do the fuckin’ test I hate those.
Julia (as Val): That's exactly what I'm saying! That's the same thought.
Eric: Yeah you three you want to stay at the lip?
Amanda and Julia: Yes!
Eric: Wonderful and now yeah Clippy takes both of the orbs and goes
Eric (as Clippy): Okay!
Eric: And puts them both in his left pocket and it just disappears.
Julia: And it's also holding my corgi right?
Eric: Oh that's right this is round three! Make a slight of hand check to hold the corgi in.
Julia: What's the DC?
Eric: Uh 15.
[Dice rolls]
Julia: alright I rolled a 14 +4.
Eric: You keep the corgi in there and again the corgi turns back to you and goes
Eric (as Yip Yip): Uh oh! Yip yip!
Julia (as Val): I'm really concerned that it keeps going “uh-oh” like I don't know what to do with that?
Brandon: Your love for dog is a very strong magic.
Julia: Yes it's the only magic I have!
Eric: Alright so now it is in between rounds three and four, the volcano then bubbles up again and shoots magma into the sky
[dice rolls]
Eric: Val, you look up and you think “wow my name is Volcani, this is a volcano, this is pretty cool for me” and then you look up in the sky and magma is raining down on you like you're at an off-brand water park.
Julia: That's fair.
Eric: You take—
Julia: Does the dog give me any advantage? Since he told me “uh oh” like am I prepared for this?
Eric: You take 18 points of fire damage.
Julia: Okay so that's a no.
Amanda: Nope.
Brandon: Does the corgi take any damage?
Eric: It just seems like a corgi and it looks deep into your eyes and goes “uh oh!” And then you're drenched in lava. You also look over back at the wrought iron cage, and you see around the wrought iron cage there were just like some piles kind of just like of magma they were kind of just like in little pools. and then you see the pools are looking back at you with two little beady eyes. And then they all three of the pools raise little gloopy arms at you with chubby fingers at the end, and they start slopping their way towards you, mouth and a flame like a wood burning oven there you go Val.
Julia: I—I stole some magma people's dogs huh…
Eric: Yep and uh all of them are now running at you and they're crossing into where you're standing at the top left of the volcano, they haven't reached you yet but they are three little magma piles are mouth a gate and slopping towards you with their little hands extended.
Julia: Bring it on, come on.
Eric: We are now at round four, right now uh Val is standing at the top left with piles of magma running towards them, Clippy and Aggie are standing at the top right, and Milo you're firmly in between one and two.
Brandon: Well I'm gonna go over to two for sure just to check out the hands.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: And we're gonna run down bridge C.
Julia: I'm gonna let you and Clippy go because it seems like you got this now that you have like a system in which you put the thing down and don't sink into the magma, so it doesn't seem like you need me and I am going to— man Val’s so upset about this but Val unzips their leather jacket and just like lets the corgi go and be like
Julia (as Val): [Sadly] Alright bud, go be free go be with ya magma friends.
Amanda: Oooo.
Eric: The corgi looks back at you Val and goes
Eric (as Yip Yip): Yip yip yip, thank you Val!
Julia (as Val): You're welcome small dog.
Eric: And uh the corgi runs over to the the little magma people and they like pat the corgi, and it goes
Eric (as Yip Yip): Yip yip! Thank you friends!
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): Alright I'm glad I did the right thing.
Amanda (as Aggie): Why was the corgi saying “help me” then?
Julia (as Val): Yes why was the corgi saying “help me” was he trapped and the magma guys just weren't able to get him out?
Eric: Are you saying this to the corgi or you're just kind of musing to yourself?
Julia: I don't know sorry.
Eric: [Laughing] No it's cool.
Julia: Now they’re just yelling at god again
Julia (as Val): Why would you do this!?
Eric: Unfortunately that is your action, Val. So Milo as soon as you step over on the other side of the lava, and you shake you shake yourself off from burning one of your feet in it, as soon as you step in there um—
Brandon: Nothing happens and I win!
Eric: Nothing happens, how did you know? You see both of the hands which were kind of pointing towards the orb in their section then turn at you, and one of them scoops into the ground at the base of the hand, and has this like ball of rock and flame with it, and it throws it right at you so what is your AC?
Brandon: 15.
Eric: Alright well I just rolled a nat 1. You lucky lad!
[Brandon laughs]
Eric: So it just like it throws it, and then it just like when you when you misjudge your timing it just throws it directly into the ground, and you see that the other hand statue shakes its hand from one side to another like it's really disappointed in the other hand.
[Amanda laughs]
Eric: It would take 30 feet for you to get to the orb there.
Amanda: In Lake Town City we call that blazing it when you do something, and then you're immediately really disappointed in yourself.
[Eric and Brandon laugh]
Brandon: I'm going to run up, pop in the breath weapon gum, and shoot a cone of freezing ice water whatever frozen stuff at them to see if I can like deactivate the like lava veins in their hands and make them stop moving.
Amanda: Nice!
Eric: Yeah absolutely, you can get both in.
Brandon: Great, alright.
Eric: So what do I do? Do I make dexterity saves for them?
Brandon: Yes, you make a constitution saving throw, uh the DC equals 8 plus constitution press proficiency. My con is +1 and proficiency would be +3 so +4, so 12.
Eric: Okay so I'm gonna try to hit a 12 for both of them. They're stone but I think that if this is cold on fire, they're gonna have a tough time here.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Uh what does it look like when you pop the gum in?
Brandon: It's like first you see Milo get like a rush of like “oh and a flavor!” In his face um and then it gets really cold, and so like so cold that you sort of have to like try to spit the gum out, and when he's spitting—
Amanda: I’m picturing a real Jim Carrey situation up in here.
Brandon: And he just spits the gum out like the cone of ice forbs from his mouth.
Eric: Wonderful so the one that totally beefed throwing the ball of flame at you is totally just covered in ice like comically like in a cartoon when you like open up a freezer and then there's like icicles going sideways off of them, it's like that and it's just like frozen in place as it's reaching out to grab you. The other stone hand I guess coward uh behind the other one, so it is not frozen in place okay and then it like shakes its fist at you.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia: Adorable!
Eric: So now Milo you're standing over pretty close to the orb.
Brandon: Great!
Eric: So you would have to you might be stuck in the zone if you grabbed it, and ran in on your next turn.
Brandon: Right.
Eric: Okay, alright so let's go over to Aggie! So Aggie and Clippy are walking out on the third bridge.
Amanda: Yes we're across the bridge and attempt to grab the orb.
Eric: Okay so you uh you're laying down the buster again?
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Clippy turns to you and says
Eric (as Clippy): Do you need help with that?
Amanda (as Aggie): Not at the moment but if I start sinking, try to pull me out okay?
Eric (as Clippy): Absotively!
Amanda (as Aggie): Oooh Clippy.
Eric: So yeah you're gonna try to grab the third orb.
Amanda: Yes!
Eric: Wonderful, I'm gonna roll—
Julia: Nope don't like that.
Amanda: Mmm-mmm. Please don't roll.
Brandon: I don’t like it when he says wonderful.
Eric: So you're standing on the hard light buster, and you grab the orb on the third bridge, and you feel yourself sinking again. But you're standing on the on the hard light, and it doesn't get any on your shoes, it's just like the stone nastiness is starting to envelop the hard light buster.
Amanda: Yeah, I will use a ki point to try to dash over the bridge wonderful so what does it look like when you like kind of activate your speed to just get out of there?
Amanda: I think I sort of look around furtively every time I do it even in a situation like this, and then there is a little bit of those kind of like orangey sparks that I use when I heal that kind of envelope my feet or my limbs that are moving and so there's a slight kind of like orange glow as I dash over the bridge.
Eric: I love that. Clippy is waiting at the lip of the volcano for you and says
Eric (as Clippy): I didn't even have to help! Congratulations!
Amanda (as Aggie): Clippy you are helping by being there. Let's go back to the middle okay? Eric (as Clippy): Alright! Do you want me to hold that for you?
Amanda (as Aggie): Yeah we can put that in inventory.
Eric (as Clippy): Okay!
Eric: He takes the orb and puts it in his right pocket and he goes dading!
Brandon: I am worried that we have to have the orbs not Clippy.
Amanda (as Aggie): I think it's more like when you have a fishing contest in Animal Crossing and all the fish just magically go from your line into a tank in the middle of town, but we'll bring it with us so you can give it to us if need be.
Brandon: Uhh we’ll see?
Eric: Alright wonderful so now we're in between four and five, which zones are Val and Aggie standing in?
Julia: I think I went down to three to release the corgi.
Eric: Alright so you're down in three back where the cage is, absolutely and uh Aggie which uh zone are you in?
Amanda: In six alright.
Eric: Wonderful so and then Milo is firmly in two.
[Dice rolls]
Eric: Alright you see the bubbling of the volcano as it shoots up in the air and holds there for an extra second as if it's trying to hold dramatic tension
[Amanda and Brandon laughing]
Amanda: You bastard!
Eric: The lava then splashes onto ball pit just dissolving all of the plastic—
Brandon: It's the only way to sanitize a ball pit.
Julia: Bring it on!
Eric: As it the melts the ball pit away, it also melts our good friend Val. So Val you take
[Dice rolls several times]
Julia: Stop rolling.
Eric: You take 18 points of fire damage.
Brandon: That’s quite a lot.
Julia: Okay that's not that bad I still got 15. I'm doing okay.
Eric: As it singes your skin and you push the lava out from your face, you see that the ball pit has washed away with the tide of magma.
[Everyone laughs]
Julia (as Val): Good!
Eric: Alright and now it is those little uh magma guys turn, and I'm going to make a charisma check.
Amanda: Why do they get a turn?!
Eric: Because they are part of the environment you see—
Amanda: Noooo!
Julia: They got their dog back!
Eric: Well I'm going to see if they're appeased by the corgi coming back to them, and I'm going to roll charisma for the corgi.
Brandon: They have like a +30 though don't they?
Amanda: So a thousand!
Eric: Well the corgi has +4 and I rolled a 16. So I got a 20.
Julia: Nice!
Amanda: Correct!
Julia: Good job corgi!
Eric: You see that the corgi looks at all the magma lads it goes
Eric (as Yip Yip): Yip yip yip thank you friends! Thank you Val!
Eric: And uh the magma lads give you a stink eye, and then uh like sloosh back to the cage in four and puts the corgi back in there. But now the door is open and the corgi is kind of just like jumping and yipping around. Milo make a perception check for me.
Brandon: Oh okay.
Amanda: Hate that!
[Dice rolling]
Brandon: 9 +7 for 16.
[Everyone cheers]
Eric: Wonderful okay, so you see this beautiful moment like this Old Yeller, My Dog Skip moment between Val and the—
Brandon: Old Yeller?! Did they shoot the dog?!
Eric: I meant— I meant My Dog Skip! Or in Air Bud where like the clown and the boy are like fighting over the dog, and it's like no it's all fine and then you see the corgi hop back to its cage and what before you heard it just go “yip yip” and then it speaks in English you can see the sound waves coming towards you from the corgi, and the ghost hand on your chest grabs it like out of the air and then puts it in your face and he hears “wow I'm so glad I made so many friends here today!”
[Julia and Brandon laugh]
Brandon: Milo's equal parts confused bewildered and like delighted.
Eric: There you go alright so now this is round five this is the final round, what do you all do?
Amanda: Back to the middle for me!
Julia: Yeah!
Brandon: Milo's gonna make a rush towards the orbs should I grab it and then make a dash back towards the middle.
Eric: Alright, wonderful so as you put your hand on the orb, you see that the not frozen hand then reaches down and scoops up more fire and rock and throws it at you.
Julia: Dodge, dodge!
Eric: What is your AC?
Brandon: 15.
Julia: Oh jesus.
Eric: Luckily it—
Julia: Ohthankgod.
Eric: Whizzes by you to the right and then you're gonna make a final break for it.
Brandon: Yeah and um so um Milo doesn't have quite enough speed to get to the middle from that position, so as he gets as close as he can he's gonna throw the orbs up in the air and then cast thunder wave which thunder wave for unsecured objects that are completely within the area effect are pushed 10 feet away from me.
Amanda: Okay!
Brandon: So I'm going to cast thunder wave, and push the orbs over to my pals in the middle. Milo has a flare for the dramatic, and he's trying to make it as dramatic as possible.
Eric: Alright so yeah narrate what it looks like if you when you thunder wave the orb!
Brandon: So Milo is like running and as fast as he can with his arms pumping by his sides holding two giant orbs, and he realizes as the clock is ticking past the five that he's not going to make it, so he makes a giant leap, and then from his chest just emanates a big burst of ghost energy and pushes the orbs 10 feet forward towards the center hopefully being caught by my colleagues, and then like when he lands he just sort of like rolls over and puts his hand on his forehead like “oh!”
Eric: Make a spell surge roll for me.
[Amanda and Julia laugh]
[Dice rolls]
Brandon: Uh 4. Am I up to 1 and 2 now or just 1?
Eric: Yeah you're just 2 so now you're up to 3 but nothing else happens wonderful.
Brandon: Great!
Eric: Alright so yeah the orb is pushed by ghost energy and it's you three, Clippy, Val and Aggie, are now running back towards the middle. You see these two orbs flying towards you.
Amanda: Can I try to catch them?
Eric: Yeah absolutely! Make a dexterity roll for me.
Julia: I’ll also try to catch it just in case Aggie doesn't.
[Dice rolls]
Amanda: 21.
Julia: Oh no there we go.
Eric: Yeah what does it look like when you grab these two out of the air?
Amanda: I leap up both arms outstretched, and I like catch— I have done a little bit of gaelic football—
[Everyone laughs]
Amanda: So I just catch both of them one in the crook of each elbow, and spin my body around so the momentum has us like pirouetting like a football player to land on my feet right in the middle.
Eric: I love it. Yeah you have one foot where you started, and you are back officially where you ended, and as the big schoolhouse clock in the sky clicks back to where it started from the five section to back to zero, you have completed the challenge.
[Boiling sound fades out]
[Everyone cheering]
Eric: You did it! You see that the volcano around you starts to shimmer, and shake as the uh lava monsters playing with the corgi start to lose reality, and so does the volcano and uh the acrid smell goes away, and the temperature goes down. Clippy waves to all three of you and goes
Eric (as Clippy): I was happy to help, thank you so much let's do it again!
Brandon (as Milo): Thanks Clips!
Julia (as Val): Thank you Clippy!
Amanda (as Aggie): See you next time!
Eric: As Milo says thank you to Clippy, Val and Aggie you just hear RRRAP RAP! And Milo you see that the ghost hand is just like over your mouth right now.
[Brandon laughs]
Julia (as Val): I mean that's an interesting choice Milo, uh I—I respect
Brandon (as Milo): No I didn't I didn't do this—
[Eric continues barking]
Julia (as Val): Why does it keep barking at me? Stop it I know I probably shouldn't have gone and got the dog in the first place you do not have to mock me this way!
Brandon (as Milo): Val I'm talking to you in English!
[Eric growls]
Julia (as Val): Stop!
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo did one of those things happen where you lose is this a panther incident?
Brandon (as Milo): Yeah probably.
[Eric mimics sad dog noises]
Amanda (as Aggie): Oh okay.
Julia (as Val): I mean he doesn't sound like a panther is all I'm saying.
Eric: As the volcano disappears, you're now kind of just in this like twilight there's like little dots of stars and you're just kind of standing in space, and uh you see that they a shimmering outline of Dr. Morrow who's just like outlined, not like 8-bit but you know like in old asteroids where it was just green lines she's just outlined in green lines and you can see her hair, and her lab coat with the arms pushed up so you know it's Dr. Morrow she's like
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Okay well let's see how you did!
Eric: And you look down at your feet, and you see there's a little figurine of a corgi, a big golden key, and all five orbs.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Alright well uh this was interesting tactics, really interesting.
Brandon (as Milo): Some say it might say heroic but you know.
[Eric barks]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Hey! Down, down! Down!
Amanda (as Aggie): Milo let's debrief afterward.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): I'm so glad that we did this training because all of you did exactly what I thought you would do. Aggie you used your speed and just ran directly into a situation. Val you were distracted by dogs and Milo no I can understand what you're saying.
[Brandon laughs]
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Oh geez.
Eric: She also then does finger guns at two of the orbs and they just kind of burst.
Amanda (as Aggie): They were fake, you were right!
Julia (as Val): See I did tell you that!
Amanda (as Aggie): You did!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): That's true and yet Val, you didn't do anything to dissuade Aggie to not deal with that. You were too passive which is strange for someone who punches for a living.
Julia (as Val): No I don't think I was passive, I think I went and I got all of the orbs to make sure that we actually got the orbs that mattered.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): No and you made the best out of a bad situation which is your best quality! Still fixing a mistake that you yourself made, I don't know if I can give you bonus points for that.
Julia (as Val): Okay!
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Well I think this was a successful training run, I'm going to look at these on instant replay for a while. Still good use of the buster sword, that was really smart thinking. Congratulations you beat the inaugural run of the Fun Danger Zone!
Amanda (as Aggie): The gym!
Julia (as Val): Glad you finally added danger to it.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Of the Fun Danger Fun Gym where we train our hero powers.
Amanda (as Aggie): Zone.
Eric (as Dr. Morrow): Zone.
Brandon: What's the acronym for that Eric?
Eric: Sorry I can't hear you over your growling Brandon, I don't know.
Amanda: Aggie flops on the floor.
[Theme music starts]