7: Wedding Party VII

After rescuing the prince from his kidnappers, the party has their meeting with Kohl, the devil Alonzo has been looking for. Who is this demonic force and what will they find in this back alley of Fidapolis? Johnny starts as a beginner. Inara wears layers. Tracey gets plumage.

Thanks to Baron Fig for sponsoring this episode! Use code jointheparty for 10% off your order at http://baronfig.com.

The party continues on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr @JointhePartyPod! On our Patreon page (patreon.com/jointhepartypod), you can unlock exclusive bonus content like cut scenes, bloopers, character backstories, player blog posts, Dungeons & Dragons game tips, and so much more. Transcripts are available for every episode at jointhepartypod.com. Have stories or questions for the next Afterparty? Email hello@jointhepartypod.com or visit http://jointhepartypod.com/contact.

Join the Party is produced by Eric Silver, Brandon Grugle, Amanda McLoughlin, and Michael Fische. Special thanks to our creative consultants Connor McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, and Heddy Hunt, and to Julia Schifini for voicing Kohl the demon.


Transcript

Amanda: Last time on Join the Party:

Eric: We got flips,

Amanda as Inara: I flip up onto the market roof

Eric: Flips

Eric: Joe the Camel jumps into the air, does a full somersault—

Michael: Oh my god!

Eric: And lands on his feet.

Eric: And more flips.

Brandon: I am going to pull a javelin out of my bag and try to pole-vault over the albino bison.

Eric: Our party people recovered the kidnapped prince but everyone’s not having a great day.

Eric (as Alonzo): I’m not having a good day.

Eric: Alright, thanks, Alonzo. Grab your golden fiddle, It’s time to meet a devil. Let’s get the party started.

(Theme music)

Eric: You are now walking back to the market and just remember it's all three of you. Tracey you're very covered in mud. Johnny B. you are riding on Joe the camel wearing running shoes and Inara, you have a new little friend.

Amanda: Even though she blinks away every few seconds, she's still my friend.

Eric: Tell me, tell me about the dog. I want to know about the dog.

Amanda: Absolutely, so this dog is a beautiful French Bulldog. She is a she. She is kind of like toffee or caramel colored. She has spots that are white and dark brown. And I have decided to name her Oatcake.

Eric: OH, that's adorable.

Amanda: If she's amenable. I don't want to like assign her name if she has one already, but we're sort of like bonding, my animal handling check was a nat-20. If you recall, so very quietly at the back of the pack

Amanda (as Inara): Hi, I hope you're okay with with the name Oatcake. Do you have a different one?

Eric: The French bulldog looks up at you. And again she focuses on you for like the second time now she's kind of like watching your bag and she looks up at you and, imperceptibly, she kind of like nods and like keeps walking right behind you and looking out your bag.

Amanda (as Inara): And do you want those boxing gloves back? I thought that they were what was making you flash in to the sort of ethereal plane. But if you need them back I'm, I'm happy to give them to you.

Eric: Yeah, she tries to jump up, I guess we'll just call her oatcake now. Oatcake tries to jump up on your bag and she like, gets two paws at the bottom of it and then she just falls back down. Yeah and she keeps just pulling at your legs and jumping up a little bit.

Amanda: Oh yeah. Cause I'm tiny, she comes up to like my hip. So yeah sure I'll, I'll just kneel down super quick and pull it right out of my pack and drape them adoringly around her neck.

Eric: All right. Yes. Now she seems satisfied but she has not blinked away yet. She's still walking after you.

Amanda: Cool, and I'm going to very quietly say

Amanda (as Inara): I'm glad you're here, Oatcake.

Eric: Oatcake walks over to you and licks your hand.

Amanda (as Inara): Thanks.

Eric: All right. You all seem pretty tired, and Alonzo is still very unhappy. And he walks you through the market and there are kind of like citizens still like busying around. Alonzo has kind of pulled whatever cloak that he had as like his James disguise over his face, but he's not wearing it... Remember the beard was pulled off but he's still like walks through the market deftly. And he goes over to a giant turkey leg stand and buys everybody including Oatcake and Joe the Camel turkey legs. Very big turkey legs.

Amanda: This is the same size as Inara's head.

Eric: Yeah. Oh absolutely. And actually like they all get the same size. Joe the Camel eats it in like one big gulp and like Oatcake is kind of like gnawing at it.

Brandon (as Tracey): Tracey's done!

Eric: HAHAHA, did you like... I don't even know how you did that!

Brandon (as Tracey): One more please!

Amanda: A little door opens in Tracey's belly under his cloak and he just inserts the, like, turkey leg in there for processing.

Eric: I'm also going to count that as a short rest because it is a very delicious turkey leg.

All: Yay!

Eric: Y'all get all get your spells back.

Brandon: So we also get some hit points back and I get some of my rages back.

Eric: Yes you get some of your rages back.

Michael: Now I can make Joe invisible!

Amanda: Johnny How did the turkey leg taste after a day of intense hunger?

Michael (as Johnny): I got to tell you...

(Laughter at the amazing Johnny being amazing)

Michael (as Johnny): It has been an age, since I've had such a good Turkey Leg.

(More laughter but just from Amanda)

Eric: Actually the owner of the stand, the turkey legs stand kind of like perks up and says

Eric (as Turkey Stand Dude): Review me on Yelp. Thank you. Yelp! It's actually us yelling at each other and telling each other that we're good at things.

Michael: Johnny using prestidigitation since we've decided it can also amplify voices now.

Eric: Yeah

Michael: Shouts:

Michael (as Johnny): This is the best turkey leg I've ever had.

Brandon: And then Tracey kind of like leans over like kind of on top of Johnny trying to like get in on that prestidigitation action. And is like

Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah this is really good! I love it so much!

Brandon: But like it doesn't actually get amplified, it's just really quiet

Eric: because microphone... it's not a microphone. So after everyone's kind of satiated, how is everyone feeling?

Brandon (as Tracey): Tracey feels great!

Michael (as Johnny): You know how I feel, I reviewed it on Yelp!

Amanda: Inara is kind of uncomfortable at how much she cares about Oatcake's happiness. And the two of them are super happy together.

Eric: You know you look down and there is just a bone all the meat it's gone

Amanda: From Oatcake's Turkey Leg?

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: Hungry girl, she's worked really hard winking in and out and stuff.

Eric: True. And Alonzo says:

Eric (as Alonzo): All right we have a job to do. I mean you snuck me out for a reason. Let's go, let's go do it.

Brandon: And Tracey's just starts walking, like down the marketplace. He doesn't know where he's going but he's sure of it.

Eric: Yeah Alonzo walks in the exact opposite direction.

Brandon: Tracey not wanting to lose face sees everyone walking the opposite direction and turns on a dime in like a really fancy fashion and twirls his cape. And then follows behind them.

Eric: Alonzo leads you through the market, it takes a sharp right, kind of like right in the middle that you all just ran through during the chase. He then takes a series of turns, left and then right and then right again and then left and you're actually in a more residential area. There's definitely still some markets there but it's very much off like the main drag. And you come to a two story building of some sort. There's a gate at the front which actually has some sort of like really intricate lock on the front of it with like a lot of pins and like wires and stuff and they're like gears too. Some of the gears don't actually look like it's connected to anything, it's just like a whole mess of stuff right on the front. There's also coming from the second story window that's facing like the road is like a really really long metal tube, and the end has a really wide mouth on it. It's like a giant blow horn almost. It's also like made out of scraps so it's like not actually just one tube is like a bunch of different like things cobbled together.

Amanda: Is it a slide?

Eric: It is not, no it's not a slide.

Amanda: Damnit!

Eric: It's pretty small. It's like the size of my head.

Brandon: It's behind the gate though?

Eric: No it's like in front of the gate like comes all the way up over through the window and in front of the gate.

Amanda: Inara walks over to the mouth of this fantasy shofar and says inside.

Amanda (as Inara): Hey I like your gate, can we come in?

Unidentified Woman: (In robotic voice) Password?

Amanda (as Inara): Oatcake?

Eric: The shofar makes a very loud buzzing noise and goes.

(Negative sounding buzz)

Amanda: Any help guys, any ideas?

Brandon: Tracey goes over to the box of like wires and gears. Is that like attached?

Eric: Yeah. It's a lock but it's a very intricate, confusing lock.

Brandon: OK. Now you said it has gears and wires and that seems very familiar. So Tracey is going to try to figure it out.

Eric: OK.

Brandon: Can I make an investigation check to see exactly what's going on in the box?

Eric: Sure.

Brandon: 14.

Eric: OK. It's definitely a lock and it's definitely something that's holding the gate shut and it's definitely like has some kind of mechanic in there that is triggered by something but you cannot figure out what it is.

Brandon (as Tracey): I think, you know last resort, we can can figure this lock out, but last resort I can also break this gate down but who are we even... is this. Who are we... Whose house is this? Alonzo?

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh yeah this is Kohl's house. Don't! No please don't break the thing. I got it. It's fine.

Brandon (as Tracey): Can you just talk to Kohl, Alonzo?

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah. That was the plan dog, I got it.

Amanda (as Inara): My, my bad.

Eric (as Alonzo): It's ok, but it's not your dog's name.

Amanda (as Inara): I just got really excited that i named my dog...

Eric: OK. Alonzo goes over to the gate and actually jangles it three times in succession, and the shofar goes again:

Unidentified Woman: (In robotic voice) Password?

Eric: And a very serious almost solemn Alonzo says 'Galaxatron'

Unidentified Woman: (In robotic voice) Password Accepted.

Eric: And the gate opens the lock, kind of just like unfurls and unspools it comes like actually all the way apart and like totally opens and the gates swing out.

Brandon: Now is Galaxatron case sensitive?

(Laughter)

Amanda: Tracey you would fail every Captcha!

Michael: I take special attention to look at how the lock unfurls to try to learn more about this kind of machinery and lock as it's probably something I've never seen before, and maybe I can learn something.

Amanda: Inara too, after her epic fail of a lock making attempt back in that bed chamber in the castle she's trying to learn way more about locks that she knew before

Brandon: And Tracey is already like in front of the lockbox so all three of us are just like checking this lock box out way too hard.

Eric: Yeah this lock is very impressive. You've never seen a lock open like that. Ordinarily it would be like a padlock. You know just kind of opens up and then out. But this actually fully unfurls and it actually stays on top of the gate as well. This is an even more intricate than let's say the magic gun which is a piece of machinery and you kind of know how those things work. But this is way more intricate than that.

Brandon: So Tracey makes a mental note of how the gears are interlocked and in his head he's thinking he might be able to upgrade himself a little better later.

Eric: Cool.

Michael: I'm also going to tie whatever reins Joe has to the fence there so that he stays and doesn't wander off.

Amanda: Oatcake's coming with me.

Eric: Joe tries to bite at you but you dodged out of the way. Alonzo then walks confidently through the gate and the door at the bottom is open and he just kind of walks in. He becomes very serious all of a sudden and there are kind of like these rickety stairs that just go up and there's another landing at the top of the stairs and then another open door.

Michael: What's the light situation in the front area?

(Groans and laughs)

Eric: Yeah. OK. As you open the door the light streams through there is no actual light on the stairs. However the open door is extremely bright actually gets brighter all of a sudden and then shrinks back and then gets brighter all of a sudden then shrinks back.

Brandon (as Tracey): Hey Alonzo, how should I be acting right now. You see him kind of sullen. All of a sudden.

Eric: Alonzo kind of stops on the stairs.

Eric (as Alonzo): Just you know Tracey just just be quiet. Just keep your hands to yourself and be quiet.

Brandon (as Tracey): Fair point!

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah, thanks.

Eric: And Alonzo continues up the stairs

Brandon: Tracey follows a little eagerly. A little too eagerly after him.

Michael: I take out my quarterstaff just to hold and use to walk it with me because I'm also casting light on it to have it shine brightly and be a source of light as I walk through as I'm not sure of the consistency of the light in this area

Amanda: And I've got my hand on my rapier. But my other hand down on oatcake's collar and we're just advancing together.

Eric: Alonzo pushes open, the door was kind of like half open, he pushes all the way through and walks through the door and all of you follow. Inside is one of the most jam packed rooms you've ever seen in your entire life. It's not a particularly large room but it has shelving everywhere and it's jammed with all types of stuff. There are gears and bolts and like scraps of metal. There's a whole like potted plants section. There's a whole wall that is just like all books and there's even stuff hanging from the ceiling. You realize that there's only two sources of light but they are extremely bright. One is a floating orb over an easy chair which is kind of shoved in the corner next to the bookshelf and the other one is coming from a work bench that is taking up the opposite corner. And in that corner you see a hooded figure that is about six feet tall. And the hand is extended out and just bursts of blue flame are coming off. And it seems like this figure is soldering something. It's this massive piece of metal. And as you look closer the metal is actually a torso and there is a big leg too and a big puffy arm and a head that is not really a head it's just like just the skull and there's a big freaking hole right in the center of it. And you can't see what the figure is doing because it's hooded and cloaked but you can tell that whatever they're doing is, they're hard at work. And Alonzo steps forward and keeps you all in the doorway and Alonzo says...

Eric (as Alonzo): (Dramatically) Oh, mighty demon I need your help. Please let me prostrate myself at your feet. And I need your guidance please.

Eric: And the hooded figure turns around and looks at Alonzo and the flames stop from their hand.

Brandon: Tracey is kind of like he's holding himself back via Alonzo but is chomping at the bit to try to figure out what is happening with this possible warforged robot buddy.

Michael: Would I be able to identify either of the light spells and the fire spell using Arcana or just passive wisdom.

Eric: Yes sure. I'm going to say you're pretty aware of just light things in general. You can tell the one in the corner is coming from a drift globe which is actually an orb that projects the spell Daylight. The other one you can't really tell but the blue flames are not regular light flames. There are some magic, some infernal magic biz happening there.

Unidentified Woman: (Angrily) Foolish mortal, you dare enter my domain! ...Oh. (In normal voice) Oh. Alonzo, you brought guests! Hi guys!

Julia: And then the robe comes off and you see a Tiefling woman with big ram horns.

Eric: Yeah this is a Tiefling woman. She has dark purple skin and lots of sharp teeth but also has a pair of like really outmoded goggles just pushed up on her head and she seems genuinely happy to see all of you including Alonzo. But at this point even when she's turned her tone Alonzo is still kind of very solemn and prostrate in fact he's now down on the ground. He's kind of begging and he says

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh Kohl, I need your help. I don't know what's happening to me, please. I stop time. It was terrible.

Julia (as Kohl): OK. All right. Alonzo, stand up, sorry. This is kind of a thing we do, he doesn't really know what a Tiefling is so I kind of had a little bit of a joke with him. You know I'm a great demon that he has to fear and respect and you do all these things for. But really I'm just, I'm an Alchemist.

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh Khol I need your help.

Julia (as Kohl): Oh god please stop. Please get up. Please. What's up?

Eric: Alonzo walks in and he holds the medallion out for the first time and actually this is the first time you've seen it, not on his neck and it shines in a way that you have not seen before. Like it glints like a bunch of different colors not just like white but like the whole rainbow kind of glints off of it. At this point he's holding it out and he's not like disgusted by it, it's not like he's holding out like the garbage for someone to take off of him but he's not as sure with it as you saw him when he was practicing on the training field.

Amanda: Oh was the medallion in his hand when he was doing that.

Eric: Yeah he was wearing that and he was like holding it as he was gesturing.

Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, so, right. Just really love your look, just really really good there.

Julia (as Kohl): Thanks!

Amanda (as Inara): we are trying to figure out what this medallion is all about. Totally froze time during a wedding.

Brandon (as Tracey): I'm trying to figure out what you're doing.

Julia (as Kohl): Hold on, first up, Alonzo, congratulations on the wedding.

Eric (as Alonzo): Thank you. I appreciate that. on behalf of Galaxatron and you its representative.

Julia (as Kohl): Cool. All right. So let's let's check this thing out. Awww shit this is old as beans Alonzo, where do you get this from?

Eric (as Alonzo): My dad gave it to me.

Julia (as Kohl): Yeah that makes sense I guess. This is a relic from long standing Kiko line and it comes from like a millennia ago. It is from the centering.

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh. Beans.

Julia (as Kohl): Yeah, beans, dude.

Eric: Alonzo has a look of recognition on his face that you haven't seen before. And he walks over to an easy chair and flops down on it. Now he's just like thinking.

Amanda (as Inara): So does this relic, like, stop time? That's really what I'm here to find out.

Julia (as Kohl): I mean I, listen. It is a one of a kind relic. Like I don't know exactly everything it does or anything but this thing goes back thousands of years. This is insane. If you check that, Alonzo, grab that book over there, the one with the red binding.

Eric: Without looking he just reaches over his head and grabs this big red book and brings it over to her and puts it in her hand.

Julia (as Kohl): Now look at this.

Julia: She opens up the book and she flips through a couple of pages and then shows you an engraving in the book with a dude who looks surprisingly like Alozno with a medallion around his neck.

Eric: I want you all to make history roles for me.

Michael: Sixteen

Amanda: Eleven.

Brandon: I got a six.

Julia: Damn, son.

Amanda: Tracey lives in the now, guys.

Brandon: Yeah I'm not about that history.

Eric: Tracey you forgot what you had for lunch two days ago. Johnny B, you remember stuff from your upbringing. You remember this tale of the centering. And this is actually a tale that like every one in the concentric states know. About a millennia ago there was a giant battle that everyone kind of tells stories and sing songs about and there was a big crew of monsters that came from somewhere. No one's actually really sure but a bunch of heroes got up and fought them off. This is actually how the concentric states were formed. Each one of those five heroes ended up founding each one of the five cities of the concentric States. And you figure out from looking at the book and you're putting these things together that the guy in the book is the great great great great 20 times over great grandfather of Alonzo Kiko and he founded Fedopolis.

Michael: I relate all that information as quickly and efficiently as possible to everyone in the room.

Michael (as Johnny): And Alonzo I'm pretty sure I know a guy who could sell that and make a lot of money if you really need it.

Julia (as Kohl): Alonzo please don't do that.

Eric (as Alonzo): I... I don't wanna

Michael (as Johnny): ...obviously I'm kidding. Here's the issue, he's been trying to do some magic for a while and it's either working or not working he's in no control and I'm worried about it hurting him or others.

Eric (as Alonzo): No control? Are you watching me? Did you see me out there? Oh did you guys see me when I was practicing? That's, that's so embarrassing.

Amanda (as Inara): Oh is that what you are doing today in the courtyard Alonzo? I thought you were just like stretching your elbow really aggressively.

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah that's what I was doing before you interrupted me by being carried by giant Hummingbird's.

Julia (as Kohl): Oh snap!

Julia: And high fives Inara  

Amanda: Inara never wants to leave. She has a cool older purple skin aunt to learn from. Gosh.

Brandon: While this conversation is happening, Tracey has actually snuck over to the object that the blue flames were being shot at and is kind of investigating a little bit.

Julia (as Kohl): Can you not touch Alabaster please.

Brandon (as Tracey): Sure.

Julia (as Kohl): Thank you.

Brandon: And then Tracey continues to investigate the robot.

Eric: Do a stealth check for me.

Brandon: I rolled a 16.

Eric: Yeah OK. You duck out of the way and Kohl can no longer watch you investigating the big metal thing. What are you looking for specifically?

Brandon: Nothing specifically he just sees a being that is very similar to him and is very interested in whether it has life or whether it is a actual just like an automaton who has no agency or if it's even like functional or put together at all.

Eric: Investigate for me.

Brandon: 12

Eric: This thing is definitely different than you. It's all metal. It does not have any life you even kind of like wave your hand in front of its face or it actually don't really have a face but where its face would be. And there's nothing going on in there. It's not complete obviously it's torso and the leg in just a head and one arm. But you see some similarities, but it is not the same thing as you.

Brandon: Tracey continues to just like look it over.

Michael (as Johnny): Kohl, right? You're Kohl?

Julia (as Kohl): Yeah.

Michael (as Johnny): So you've been helping Alonzo with this magic or just with his alchemy

Julia (as Kohl): Nah, he just you know, he stops by. He is interested in the tinkering. He likes to sneak out of the castle and get to know the commoners every once in a while so I let him hang around.

Eric (as Alonzo): I'm a man of the people!

Julia (as Kohl): He's not.

Amanda: Inara gives him a little nod like, nice.

Michael (as Johnny): Yeah. So this is the first you've heard of him doing any sort of magic or any magical skill correct?

Julia (as Kohl): Yeah. He's just a dude, normally I really haven't seen him doing magic stuff.

Michael: I'd like to roll a insight to make sure that that I see whether or not I believe her. I got a 19 on my insight check.

Eric: Oh yes she's very much telling the truth.

Michael (as Johnny): If this is supposed to be one of the relics from the Centering which I obviously know everything about it

Julia (as Kohl): Clearly

Michael (as Johnny): Clearly. Why was it just given to him and not kept in a safe and never shared with anyone.

Eric (as Alonzo): Uhhh OK I can answer that.

Eric: Alonzo walks over and stands in the circle, as you've all assembled.

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah no one knows this is magical. No one knew before last night. Actually this is just it's an heirloom. I mean this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. I get married to another really powerful guy. And our families are coming together we're actually consolidating power for the first time in like the entire history of these states. And I mean I'm going to be next in line for you know city representative. It's a big deal so that's why I got it for my wedding.

Michael (as Johnny): So as soon as you decide to work with one of the other concentric States suddenly this relic that has never worked. Starts working.

Eric (as Alonzo): I mean I guess you could put it that way.

Amanda (as Inara): And like objects have intentions sometimes. Man it seems like it was trying to save Greg's life. So maybe it wants power to be consolidated and if that's true that's kind of suspicious.

Brandon (as Tracey): I don't trust it.

Michael (as Johnny): This has, I think, big implications for you. Are you ready to deal with that? or are you just going to you know continue being your noble self and not worry.

Eric (as Alonzo): One: Yes. Two: Weren't you in jail like 24 hours ago man. Like don't tell me about my life. I just got married. Like chill. You know what I figured out everything that I need to do. I'm not, I'm I'm headed out. You all can figure your way out. I mean you're free now. Cool, tight. I'll see you all later.

Brandon (as Tracey): Hey who locked us in our room.

Eric (as Alonzo): I don't know probably the guards who work there. See you later.

Brandon (as Tracey): All right. Why? Hey whats the deal?

Amanda (as Inara): Can we get that breakfast sometime?

Brandon (as Tracey): There was no turn-down service!

Amanda: Despite Alonzo leaving Inara still has some questions.

Amanda (as Inara): So, Kohl, ma'am, again just got to say. Love the look. Just love it so much. Do you know who we can ask to learn more about this medallion. I just feel like you know we just got to we have to figure out what this deal was. It was quite a moment.

Julia (as Kohl): Honestly as far as I can tell the Medallion hasn't been active in, since the centering so you probably should stick with the guy who you know has it. So maybe you should go after Alonzo he's not particularly good at fending for himself as far as I can tell. So he might need a little bit of backup.

Amanda (as Inara): First can you give me some stuff? Your room is full of amazing things.

Julia (as Kohl): I. OK. OK. Hold on. If you promise me that you're going to look after Alonzo. I have some stuff for you.

Amanda: Inara whispers to herself, "Totally was going to do that anyway."

Julia (as Kohl): Cool cool cool.

Amanda (as Inara): Yes totally cool.

Eric: Kohl kind of shrugs off the robe that she was wearing with the big hood and she just kind of like hands it out. I guess just to Inara because she is the one who asked and this robe, it's a little big on you definitely. But you check it out and there are a bunch of patches on it. There is one that has a angry looking dog on it. There's one that has a dagger. There's one with a lantern. One with a mirror and one with a metal door.

Julia (as Kohl): Listen by the way when you use it make sure you feed Cerberus before he does what he's supposed to do. OK?

Amanda: Inara's eyes widen.

Amanda (as Inara): Who is Cerberus?

Julia (as Kohl): You'll find out!

Amanda: Inara just rolls with it bro. It looks great. What color is it?

Julia: A leather black.

Amanda: Cool cool cool, goes with my whole look. Things. Cool.

Amanda (as Inara): Thanks Kohl, really great. Maybe I'll be back some time. You seem like you got a lot to teach me. Thanks.

Amanda: And she runs down the stairs after Alonzo. Just to catch up with him and also to kind of see where he's going if he's just going back to the castle or if he's going to go somewhere and get more information because I want to know whatever he knows and maybe he has more resources or places to go that we don't know about yet.

Brandon: Tracey slowly walks over Kohl and is like,

Brandon (as Tracey): Um, hey what's what's going on over there?

Julia (as Kohl): Oh Alabaster? Al? He's just you know a little pet project that I'm working on right now.

Brandon (as Tracey): What does that mean?

Julia (as Kohl): He's, that's his name his name is Alabaster. He's an iron golem. You know I'm making him.

Brandon (as Tracey): He looks like me.

Julia (as Kohl): Yeah I guess.

Brandon (as Tracey): What. What's happening.

Julia (as Kohl): I'm just making him help around the workshop and stuff.

Brandon (as Tracey): You're giving life to this to this being, to be your slave.

Julia (as Kohl): I mean he is not going to be... do not know how golem's work?

Brandon (as Tracey): I don't.

Julia (as Kohl): OK.

Eric: Why don't you make an Arcana check to look at alabaster.

Brandon: 18.

Eric: OK. You realize that this thing does not have any life and it's unlike you. Whatever is powering you, you're not exactly sure. but you look at the hole at the top of his head and you kind of realize that's where a power source might go and maybe if you were to put the right thing in there he would turn on.

Brandon: Tracey is, whether or not he fully understands exactly what the dynamics of this relationship or whether the specifics of life is happening. He is he is not thrilled about seeing the visage of another being close to him about to be, in his mind, forced into servitude.

Julia: Kohl, sensing the change in feeling in the room reaches to her back and pulls out a gun.

Eric: This gun looks a lot like the magical gun that you all saw before. But again much like the lock, it is all tricked the hell out. It has gears and wires and it's kind of even sparking a little bit.

Michael (as Johnny): Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Let's, let's not get hasty.

Michael: Johnny places a hand on Tracey's shoulder and another hand on the book of light and casts light throughout Tracey's body.

Michael (as Johnny): Tracey why don't you take a seat and relax. Nothing is happening here. That is not appropriate and ok in the eye of the light.

Brandon: Tracey takes a deep breath in then and looks at Johnny and goes into sentry mode.

Michael (as Johnny): Excuse my friend, Kohl. He is older and wiser than all of us but still doesn't quite have all of his memories and knowledge patched up together to fully understand what's happening here. Could I peruse through your library for a little bit?

Michael (as Johnny): Kohl holsters her gun back and is just like,

Julia (as Kohl): You do whatever you want. Just watch your robot.

Michael (as Johnny): Good enough. Very fair.

Michael: Johnny takes a look at the bookshelves. Is there a particular book that would catch his attention knowing his interest in let's say duality, light, and I'll go for Concentric States as well and the Centering.

Eric: You take a look at the library, it's a lot of mechanics a lot of stuff that you've actually never seen before. There's stuff about the melding of magic and tech together, stuff about gunmanship and like vehicle repair. There the Art of Magical Motorcycle Diaries.

(Laughter)

Michael: I love that book I love the book so much.

Julia: Kohl looks over you.

Julia (as Kohl): It's a good book.

Michael (as Johnny): Oh, ive read it, its very good.

Eric: There's not a lot of straight up magic stuff, like wizard tomes to like learn about but there is some histories about the Concentric States to some basic primers stuff that you would assume that everyone would have in their home

Michael: If it's a little bit on concentric states, I actually would like to see like what would be the closest of the melding of magic and machine to my comprehension level to see if maybe I could use that to help Tracey and/or understand more, some of like the objects like the arcane gun that we saw.

Eric: Yeah. There's a book that you see all the way in the bottom that hasn't been touched in a very long time. And it says My First Warforged and it's a picture, it's a picture book and it's kind of like Ikea instructions about how to care for your warforged.

Michael (as Johnny):  Would it be possible for me to either borrow or purchase, if need be, this book as you can see my friend has not fully recovered from a very very very long sleep and it would be, I think, even in all of our interest for him to be closer to full operation

Julia: Kohl takes the book, looks at it, and goes,

Julia (as Kohl): I mean I haven't read in a while...

Julia: She takes a quill from her work bench writes, her name in it, "From the library of Kohl" and hands it to you, saying,

Julia (as Kohl): Just make sure you return it. OK? I want to give it to my kids someday.

Eric: Johnny, as you start perusing it as you walk out the door you're actually starting to learn some stuff about warforged that you didn't know before. And I'm going to give you advantage whenever you try to turn on Tracey's rage button.

Michael (as Johnny): Kohl, before we go, Inara is obviously following Alonzo, and you know she is the sneakiest that I know.

Julia (as Kohl): She seems super sneaky.

Michael (as Johnny): V sneaky, bro. I'm hip and cool. Listen, if you were Alonzo and in a bad mood an all torn up could you maybe help us out and where we could possibly go to either catch up or you know head in the direction of our friend so we can make sure he doesn't get into trouble.

Michael (as Johnny): Kohl kind of adjusts her work belt. And she says,

Julia (as Kohl): You know he probably went to the open air greenmarket just down the way and right then left and two rights. And then you're all set.

Michael (as Johnny): Excellent.

Michael: I place my hand on Tracey's shoulder again and say,

Michael (as Johnny): it's time for us to go. Alonzo needs us.

Brandon: Tracey, his eyes light back up and he starts walking towards the door.

Michael (as Johnny): Before we go, take this, it's my card. Use it to contact me if you need any help. Hopefully we talk again soon. I'm worried about this kid and I'm sure you are too.

Julia: Kohl takes the card and says

Julia (as Kohl): Oh ok thanks. Watch out for your robot. I don't want him hurting anyone on the street because he gets angry about other robots.

Michael (as Johnny): He's a good kid. He's just misunderstood.

Julia (as Kohl): Gotcha.

Brandon: And on the way out of the door Tracey kind of pretends he's adjusting his great axe but then uses the butt of it to knock a potted plant over and smash on the floor.

(Laughter)

Brandon: And then walks out the door. We walk through the gates and in the direction that Kohl gave us to head towards where Alonzo presumably could be.

(Music swells and fades)

Hey, it's Amanda. This is that one day in mid August that feels like fall, where you wake up a little chilly because for once there is a breeze, and so you get to break out your favorite cardigan and wear jeans to work. Jeans! In August! Anyway, welcome to the midroll.

Congrats to Robear, who won our D&D hat giveaway. We loved doing this and we want to bring you more of them in the future! In the meantime you can and should keep sharing the show with your friends, in person or online. We’re @jointhepartypod everywhere, and if you ever quote the show or send our links to your buddies, do me a favor and stick #jointhepartypod on there. It helps us catch all the nice stuff you're saying bout us.

Speaking of nice stuff—we started a channel in our Discord, our chat room for Patrons, for people to post photos of their pets, and it's my literal favorite thing in the world. Everything from puppies to cats to squirrels to birds. It's incredible, and our new patrons are also incredible: thank you to Isaac and Brendan, and to Anne for upgrading her pledge. We are very happy to have you in our community. If you, listener, want to join—and you should! We have so much bonus content every single week for you!—just head on over to patreon.com/jointhepartypod.

I'm also really excited to tell you that we are sponsored this week by Baron Fig, a company that makes tools for thinkers. Their notebooks, pens, and bags are designed with an eye toward simplicity, usefulness and community. We got the black box series, which has sort of limited edition, series of three soft cover notebooks. There’s one called Work/Play, a starter edition, a really cool leather cover for your notebook—I know when I put mine in my backpack it always gets sort of dented at the corners—and we love their messenger bags, also. All of us use backpacks or messenger bags on the subway every day, and these ones are pretty beautiful.

Amanda: So we have our beautiful notebooks for baron fig here in front of us. I’m going to unfurl mine now

Brandon: I’M SO EXCITED

Eric: I’m a secret

Amanda: Brandon’s so excited to be editing together all these sounds of plastic opening.

Brandon: Yeah

Fish: I’m having difficulty.

Eric: I don’t even know what mine’s gonna be.

Amanda: I don’t know either.

Brandon: They’re all Black Boxes

Eric: ohhh okay.

Brandon: I kinda just want this box.

Amanda: I knowww

Eric: Can I have the notebook that’s inside if you’re not going to use it?

Brandon: No you cannot.

*opening boxes*

Amanda: Ooooooooooh.

Brandon: YEEEEESSSS.

Fish: I’m still struggling.

Amanda: Look at this print, it’s so--

Brandon: THIS IS SO COOL

Amanda: Ohhhh, so we have two kind of, three? Three. Hey.

Eric: Oh shit, dang.

Amanda: Softbound, beautiful grid notebooks in front of us.

Fish: Wait for Johnny, y’all!

Brandon: They have…

Amanda: One of them are lighthouse themed, one of them is space-themed with cactuses and UFOs.

All: Wooooah.

Brandon: One of them is like sasquatch footprints…

Fish: Did you guys not get this notice?

Amanda: We got it

Brandon: and pictures of a forest, and binoculars. Look, a lamp!

Fish: Mysteries exist at the edge of the imagination -- the unknown demands that we fill in the blanks. This edition is based on three mysteries that inspire people around the world to think and question. Can you name them? Ohhh let’s figure out these mysteries.

Eric: So spooky!

Amanda: So one of them looks like a hiking trail, I’m gonna guess it’s Bigfoot.

Eric: The green one, yeah! It’s definetely Bigfoot.

Fish: It’s super Bigfoot.

Brandon: This one is space, which is like life out in space.

Amanda: UFOs, Aliens!

Eric: It’s… um, there’s a cactus on it. So it’s Area-

Brandon: Roswell?

Eric: Yeah, it’s Roswell.

Fish: Nice.

Amanda: And then, is this other one is kind of nautical, it’s got a plane, a lighthouse…

Fish: Could it be?

ALL: the Bermuda triangle?

Amanda: You stole my big reveal..

Eric: I’m sorry, I got so excited.

Amanda: These are beautiful though, they’re really good notebooks.

Eric: I love the dots, I could definitely make some great maps with these.

Fish: Are they all dotted?

Brandon: Yes, they are.

Amanda: I like the size too. They’ll fit in any purse or backpack, but it’s not so big that’ll get all bendy.

Brandon: The best part… it should lay flat.

Amanda: It does!

ALL: It does! Ooooooooh. Hey.

Fish: Hey hey hey.

Brandon: I’m so excited, i’m such a nerd for…

Amanda: Me too…

Brandon: mystery stuff, and this is exactly what I wanted with a notebook.

Eric: I’m going to track Bigfoot with this. Guys, I’m quitting my job, I’m gonna be a Bigfoot tracker.

Brandon: Are you starting a new podcast?

Eric: Yeah, it’s called… Bigfoot Little Eric.

Brandon: That’s really good.

Amanda: That’s not bad, that’s not bad.

Fish: I was so ready to be like “No. Bad.” But that was nice.

Amanda: But listen, pretty good. So thank you, Baron Fig.

Brandon: Thank you, Baron Fig.

Fish: Gracias.

You can get 10% off your order at baronfig.com with the code jointheparty, through Sept 15, 2017. Thank you so much to Baron Fig for being our very first sponsor, and repping Queens, NY in style!

Now, let’s get back to the party.

(Music)

Michael: We walk out of Kohl's home and I unhook Joe from the fence hopefully dodging another arm suck from Joe.

Eric: Oh thank you for reminding me! Nah, Joe rolled a Nat 20, hes full on gnawing on your elbow. It's very squishy.

Michael: I eventually get Joe to release me and guide him towards the market in the direction that I was given from Kohl.

Amanda: Yeah, actually Inara is jogging up to you guys as you start to leave the house. I tried really hard to find Alonzo but embarrassingly and weirdly I was unable to find him as he just disappeared right into the market. So Oatcake and me are jogging back up to you guys to join you.

Michael (as Johnny): Inara, you weren't able to find him?

Amanda (as Inara): No I don't know. He must spend a lot of time here and know all the back routes to the castle. He’s very recognizable, like, he is much loved by the people, I assume.

Amanda: And it's very clear that she is trying to justify her own inability to find him in the market.

Michael (as Johnny): It's totally fine it's totally fine. Hey guys. you know what we need. We need to go shopping.

Amanda (as Inara) and Brandon (as Tracey): Shopping!!!

Michael (as Johnny): It has been an age since I’ve shopped!

(Synthetic upbeat music)

Eric: And you get like a whole shopping montage. There's some synth below it. You go to a clothing store. And then Tracey comes out with like a big boa and like Jonny comes out with like a really big hat and Inara just like has like a whole skater outfit and you don't like it and, shake your head no. And there's a whole bunch of that you guys splash around in a fountain and then like a guard comes out like "Hey get out of the thing!" and you're like"OH!" and you jump out.

Amanda: And we totally find like cute sunglasses and hats for Joe and Oatcake.

Michael: Oh yeah.

Eric: You all get ice cream.

Brandon: I put my boa around Oatcake.

Michael: I'm just saying as a player I'm so happy this is what's happening. We deserve it. We did the chase. We did all this, this is exactly what we needed.

Amanda: We get foot massages. We're feeling really refreshed. No, but seriously, Inara wants to find some cool shit.

Eric: I was going to say that this montage has been so impactful that it's like you feel refreshed almost, and it's like you've taken a long rest and everyone can have their HP back.

Amanda: Didn't lose any but yay!

(Music fades)

Eric: As you walk by the greenmarket to see if Alonzo is there and you all kind of check it out. ...yeah, he's not there. You walk up and down the stalls and you even pick up some fruit and it smells mighty fine. But he's not there.

Amanda (as Inara): All right guys. Alonzo isn't here. Maybe he went back to the castle to be with Greg and like they haven't spent their day after their wedding together very much. We should just go look for some cool stuff before we go back to the castle.

Michael (as Johnny): Yeah we were supposed to get some sort of reward right? We should definitely go back at some point.

Amanda (as Inara): I know they were all like, “freedom is its own reward, man,” but like, we were, you know, injustly jailed in the first place.

Michael: Totally true.

Eric: All right. So what exactly what do you want?

Amanda: Some cool shit! No, Inara wants more things to use in battle, in chases, those ball bearings were awesome. And I want to find cool switchblade, cool stuff to throw, a little like throwing knife thing and I definitely want to replace that file that I lost from my lockpick because that is mad embarrassing to have an incomplete thieves tool kit.

Brandon: Tracey wants to, I think in his mind he wants to find something that's going to help him protect his friends even more. So maybe like some armor or a big axe, like a bigger axe or whatever it is he's he doesn't have anything specific in mind but definitely wants to look for like some kind of surplus store or something.

Michael: Johnny for sure tried to spread the joy of life before and that got him in jail when he was doing his light show. So with this new book on warforged and with his previous experience you know helping Tracey come back from his long slumber I think it'll be interesting to get any materials to maybe toy around and learn more from the warforged book to learn more about a machine magic combination type skill that it seems he may kind of know but also he should probably learn.

Eric: OK. As you're walking out of the greenmarket. You walk by kind of like a guard surplus store. It has like shields and spears and swords out front and like advertising like, “low low low prices!”

Amanda: Is it called the Watchtower?

Eric: Sure. Yeah it's called the Watchtower.

Amanda: Thank you.

Eric: The 50 percent off Watchtower. Do you want to go in?

Brandon: Yeah Tracey opens the door and walks in.

Eric: All right inside is really kind of jammed with stuff. You know like in thrift stores how it's just like there are open bins of stuff and it's like vaguely sorted. The signs are just like 'pointy things' and 'heavy things' and 'slippery things' and they're just kind of like all into like big bins and barrels

Amanda: Is one of those signs "Cool shit?"

Eric: Yeah one of them is in fact “Cool Shit.”

Amanda: Inara goes over to that one and starts pulling everything out so she can look at each item one by one.

Eric: Cool, cool.

Brandon: and Tracey splits up and goes to the heavy stuff bin.

Michael: Is there any perhaps machinery parts or like kids First Warforge parts?

Eric: Yeah. OK. You can. I mean you can talk to the guy in the front.

Michael (as Johnny): My good man. Do you have any materials if I were to say create and automaton?

Eric (as Dave Matthews): I know what you're talking about brother. I definitely have some parts to look looking for you over on this way.

Eric: And he kind of like lazily points his head over to one of the corners and it says 'bits and bolts' and there's a very big bend

Michael (as Johnny): You strike me as a matter of good taste here. Here's my card. If you ever need me you know what to do with it.

Amanda: Johnny, what do you think is gonna happen with all these cards?

(Luaghter)

Eric (as Dave Matthews): I don't know where I'm going to put this thing but I appreciate you giving me. This how you can remember me.

Eric: And he takes a mandolin off his back and he starts playing this like kind of like a crunchy acoustic cover of a song you've never heard before. He doesn't know the lyrics but he just is humming along to it and he's like

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Hrmmmm hmmm hmmmm.

Michael: And as he's doing that I wave my hand over him and the music becomes not only just amplified but it becomes better.

Amanda: I thought you were gonna mute it, Johnny. Come on, be a bro.

Eric: And now it's much louder. And it's like there was a P.A. system around the store and yeah it actually sounds a little bit better. A little less crunchy a little more intelligible.

Michael: I give him a wink and walk towards the bits and bolts.

Eric: Cool. I want you all to make investigation checks.

Michael: 15.

Amanda: 17 plus four, 21.

Brandon: I don't talk about it.

Eric: What did you get buddy, what didya get?

Brandon: I got a 6...

Eric: You know what Johnny you actually in the bits and bolts bin you find a magnifying glass. And if you want you can give it to your pal Tracey.

Michael: Not only do I want to do that. But it is something that would make me, Michael and me, Johnny very happy. I take the magnifying glass over to Tracey and go,

Michael (as Johnny): I'm going to give you this because I think, I think you deserve it.

Brandon: Tracey takes a magnifying glass and he immediately starts looking over every inch of Johnny.

Eric: Roll investigation.

Brandon: I rolled a critical one.

Eric: Johnny has really big pores.

Brandon: And Tracey turns magnifying glass onto the bin of heavy stuff.

Eric: I'll give you another role in the investigation.

Brandon: I got a 17 plus three and that's 20.

Eric: Nice. OK. Let's start with Tracey. Tracey now with your newfound magnifying glass. You got to looking everything over and the heavy stuff bin. And kind of push some ratty shields off to the side. There's like actual just like blocks of lead in her for some reason. And you find some spiked shoulder pads in there and they are very punk rock. They have like little spikes on them and they shimmer a little bit in the store.

Brandon: Tracey has never been more excited than at this moment right now. He immediately picks these things up and puts them on his shoulders.

Eric: Tracey make a performance check for me.

Brandon: Seven.

Eric: Tracey, all of a sudden you feel an urge come over you. It's one that you've never felt before and I'm pretty sure it's extremely new. You feel like, like singing, you're empowered to do so. And for some reason as you open your mouth, nothing comes out. And it's like you have this dream where you're going on stage in like high school you're really supposed to be in the musical. And then you forget all of your lines and nothing comes out. And you feel very vulnerable all of a sudden.

Brandon: Tracey doesn't know exactly what to do. So he does like a slide on the one knee and just jazz hands.

Eric: The guy at the counter claps a little bit but he's the only one. Everyone's very confused. The guy at the counter gets up and says,

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Yeah I remember these. This is from my old jam band buddies. You know he was really charismatic guy he always used it to psych himself up. He wore this for every show. You know he was a showman. I don't know maybe a little too punk rock for you my dude.

Brandon (as Tracey): Oh OK. Do you have any like any actual armor?

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Nothing else that fits you. But you know I've had some bad memories before, you know my band broke up and then we came back together and then we broke up again and then we called ourselves Wings and then we stopped being a band again. So you know what, just take those, you know. That's for me. Maybe you can redeem the power that we lost. Mrhhhm, Yeahhh.

Eric: Oh this is Dave Matthews, Dave Matthews runs this place. Dave Matthews.

Michael: Is his name David Matthews?

Eric: It's David Matthews. So Tracey those are the Armor Plate of the Punk Rocker. And you need to make a performance roll every time you want to use them. And if you make a proper performance role and you succeed what you would get plus two to your AC as soon as you enter combat. But if you fail you get a minus two to your AC. Johnny, what are you looking for exactly in the bits and bites are you looking for like a part or...?

Michael: I'm recreating like a kit, looking on one of the early pages of my first warforged book. It gives a list of the items that anyone should have as part of their Robomancy kit. If they're going to be using it and studying and learning that skill. And I dig through the items in the bins to try to find all of the parts of that kit so I can create at least a rudimentary kit so that I could begin to properly use my Robomancy skills.

Eric: Sure. OK. That's actually pretty easy because there's a lot of just like scraps of stuff in here. You pick out a few cogs, some pretty wide gears, and you actually find a sizable wrench as well. It definitely has some heft to it. So if you want to smack someone with it you can do that as well. You actually notice that a lot of this is mechanical and the repair of it is mechanical. But the core of the thing that powers the thing, much like the gun, the magic is the gunpowder the core the power the energy of the warforged is the magic

Michael: It's the arcane.

Eric: Is the arcane part. David Matthew, he says

Eric (as Dave Matthews): It sounds like you found the thing that you really needed. That's good for you. You still need to pay though because it's not cursed.

(laughter)

Eric (as Dave Matthews):  Oh yeah, oh I just said that out loud did I. Yeah those armors are cursed. Big, big Eddy really went down hard.

Michael: I cast light on the card near him and say,

Michael (as Johnny): You see that that card is credit the best credit in the world, the credit of the Kikos. You tell them that Alonzo or even Maximilien is paying the dues. They'll know why. They'll take care of it. And. They'll even pay double.

Eric: Deception check please!

Michael: 7 plus 4, 11.

Eric: This won't surprise you. But David Matthew is a very easily convinced man.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Oh man, the Kikos are going to come? I can just play some of my jams like ants marching into my store. It's one of my songs Ants Marching in my Store. Yeah man put that on credit. Hell yeah yeah.

Eric: Inara.

Amanda: Yeah.

Eric: You are digging out of, what is this? The cool shit bin?

Amanda: (very matter of factly) Yes.

Eric: I love this store.

Amanda: You laugh but I can't get more direct about what Inara wants.

Eric: As you're digging through the cool shit bin. There's like a glowing crossbow in there and like a skull that kind of like opens up by itself and closes, then you keep digging through. You actually feel drawn towards a satchel. And it is this black velvet satchel with a drawstring and it's closed up tight.

Amanda: I pick it up and I open it.

Eric: As you open it, you look inside and these are the most beautiful marbles you've ever seen in your life. They seemed like they were crafted right from a glass blower, and the swirls and the clouds inside are like an entire universe is contained within this big marble. And the other marble surrounding it are like small planets scattered around in a deep black with specks of light and you feel drawn to them and you automatically without question get down on your knees and start to play. Have you ever played marbles before?

Amanda: No.

Eric: Well here's how you play marbles. You take the big one and you try to flick it at so the other marbles and you get them out of this circle. You're supposed to like play against another person and then if you win, you like get their marbles.

Amanda: Inara upon seeing these marbles remembers the star blinking out last night and as abruptly pretty worried so she might do one or two shots at this marble game but then remembers what the heck she's doing and wants to stop.

Eric: As you get down you set them all up and you take the big one and you just kind of flick it as hard as you can at one of the marbles. And I want you to make a Dex role for me.

Amanda: 8 plus 5, 13.

Eric: The marble that you flick off hits one of the other marbles and it kind of skitters out the door.

Amanda: I'm going to run after it, I don't want to steal stuff or lose all these marbles.

Eric: As you were out the door because you kind of see the marble bounce outside and it lands under someone's foot. And you kind of like reached out for the marble wall like it's firmly under this person's foot.

Amanda: My hand freezes over the marble and I look up to see who this person is.

Eric: You can't really tell. They have like a cloak pulled up as high as they can over their neck and like a helmet is almost like pulled down over their face. And they reach down pick up the marble. Look at it. And flick it back to you and do you grab it?

Amanda: I catch it.

Eric: Yeah all of a sudden they kind of pulls out more marbles and they start flicking five of them at you. I want you to make a dex save for me.

Amanda: Yeah I'm going to try to catch as many as I can. I got 13 plus 5 for an 18.

Eric: Yeah you catch every single one, you snag them all out of there even grab one like right before it hits the ground.

Amanda: Hell yeah.

Eric: And you almost feel like the person in the helmet nods. You can't tell because they are behind the helmet they definitely seem pleased and you're pleased at yourself and they hold out a note that's folded over twice on itself into quarters. As you open it up it has a square with the triangle on top. And the dot in the middle, from learning thieves cant and you know that this sign means "ready". And as you look up the person gone. You have leveled up to Level Three and your archetype, as you've told me, is Assassin.

Amanda: Inara looks around kind of both directions to see if she can discern where this person went to but she can't. And she just whispers,

Amanda (as Inara): Cool.

Amanda: and goes back inside with her pockets full of marbles. And this note tucked in like small pocket in her tunic under the cloak.

Eric: Tracey, Dave Matthews beckons you over.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Dude, man. You don't really seem like the performing type do you.

Brandon: Tracey just looks at him.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): No I didn't I definitely didn't think you I didn't think that you were. Give me a shield.

Brandon: I reluctantly grabbed from behind my back my shield and kind of have a hard time letting it go. We kind of like tussle for a second.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): No I was just trying to help you man. I'm just trying to help you out.

Brandon (as Tracey): Oh OK.

Brandon: He hands it over.

Eric: Dave Matthew takes out a very small dagger. And he starts like working it inside of the shield. There are cracks in it. It's not a great shield. So he kind of works his dagger inside of all these cracks and you kind of see some stuff come out of it. There's like all this dirt and like rocks and like sand that's inside. And you see some feathers that were jammed in there come out.

Brandon (as Tracey): Hey, those are mine.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Those feathers are yours? You don't seem like the winged type man.

Brandon (as Tracey): Well they're not, they're not mine. But they're my friend’s.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): You have a bird friend?

Brandon (as Tracey): More of an owlbear, her name is Nessie.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): I see what I can do for you.

Eric: He has this like this leather rope that he has around his neck. And he undoes it and there is like a quartz crystal. And he kind of like ties the cord around the feathers and they're held there like a little necklace.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): If you can do something for me man, I'm sure there's some other big dude with big personality who needs these more than you do. And a lot more than I do, which is a lot of hurt. If you can deliver them to someone who needs them, I think can give you something that you need as well.

Eric: And he holds up the necklace to you.

Brandon (as Tracey): You know I can, I can definitely do that. Thank you.

Brandon: And Tracey kind of like jiggles with the clasp on his cape and sort of replaces it with the medallion necklace.

Eric: Tracey you feel connected to Nessie in a way that you hadn't before. You loved her but you tussled with an Owlbear twice and you held her off. And Tracey you've leveled up to a level three Barbarian and you've followed the path of the Owlbear.

Brandon: Yessss

Michael (as Johnny): Seeing that Inara is back with some weird marbles in their hands. And now that Tracey also has this beautiful necklace I open my book and read a passage.

Michael (as Johnny): (Clearly making this up as he goes alone) Today we thank the light for yee we have succeeded. And yea we have achieved. And woe that the enemies will perish and die. And thus I will bring more non-humanoids to life with light and therefore Inara will join an assassin's league and thus...

Amanda: The darkest of factions?

Michael (as Johnny): And thus Tracey will become more man than machine. And woe to all who oppose us. The light shall succeed ever after. Let's get out of this store and figure out where Alonzo went.

(Applause)

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Nice. Nice. That's good lyrics man. You just do that all off the top of the dome?

Michael (as Johnny): No it's obviously written right here. (Mutters as he scribbles into the book)

Amanda: Dave Matthews is writing down notes for his next album.

Eric: Dave Matthews knows you're lying. Like he's really, yeah, he's scribbling notes and he's like plucking out his mandolin like figure out the chord progression for that one.

Eric (as Dave Matthews): Like, oh, like, the light.

Michael: I'm going to avoid listening to that and start walking out of the store.

Amanda: Inara doesn't know why you're leaving, but never questions a timely exit so we are off back into the market.

Eric: Yeah. All of you head out and you are clearing your way out through the market. Yeah I think you've hit all of the stalls and of course you make a very conscious pass to go by the pet store and you just like cover Joe The Camel—

Amanda: With our cloaks we can just sneak by, Pink Panther style.

Eric: Yeah, exactly.

Amanda: I want to make sure that any street urchins we run into I give a very subtle little wink to. This is, after all, Flip Day, which is going to be immortalized.

Eric: All of the urchins you nod to. They all nod back.

Amanda: Nice.

Eric: You actually see like some of them whispering to each other and pointing at each one of you.

Amanda: He was there, and he was there, and she was there...

Eric: As you make your way out of the market and the montage is over, you see the long winding path that goes up, back to the castle, and you even see the shortcut, you see it pretty clearly actually. And you notice only 100 feet in front of you is a billowing red cape that you stole from Jame's locker, and long black hair flowing in the wind, and Alonzo is heading back to the castle.

Michael (as Johnny): I hope Stoneface is doing well, let's talk to him after seeing Alonzo.

Brandon (as Tracey): Alonzo, wait!

Amanda: Here we go again...

(Theme music)

Eric: Join the Party is brought to you by Brandon Grugle, Amanda McLoughlin, Michael Fische, and me, Eric Silver. I’m your host and game master; Brandon edits, mixes, and scores the show; Amanda manages our community and our digital life; and Michael archives, manual-checks, and cartographs our world. Special thanks to our creative consultants Connor McLoughlin, Julia Schifini and Heddy Hunt.

Michael: The party doesn’t stop here! The day after every episode comes out we publish the Afterparty, where we sit down to discuss what just happened and learn what could have happened. Send us your questions anytime.

Brandon: Join our community online by following @jointhepartypod on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. We’ve also got every episode up on our website, jointhepartypod.com; and you can email us questions or stories anytime at hitusup@jointhepartypod.com.

Amanda: If you’re enjoying this ride as much as we are, help the show out by subscribing to us in iTunes and leaving a quick rating. For even more Join the Party goodness, check out our Patreon. Just a few dollars will get you access to drawings, character backstories, bloopers, and so much more at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.

Eric: We’ll see you in two weeks. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.