New haircuts, Mickey Mouse the rogue, if Tortipolis is in the Underdark and possible character regrets. This is the Afterparty, where we sit down after every episode to break down our game and answer your questions about how to play at home.
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- music: brandongrugle.bandcamp.com
Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver
- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle
- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin
- Johnny B. Goodlight: Michael Fische
- Multitude: multitude.productions
Amanda: Hey! Hi! Hello! Welcome to the After Party, where Inara has a new haircut and it's very important that everyone knows it.
Brandon: Let's talk about Inara’s haircut everyone.
Brandon: So she had some options.
Brandon: She could have gone beehive- that’s what it's called right?
Amanda: Yes, sure.
Brandon: She could have gone buzzcut.
Brandon: But instead she went with a faux-hawk pompadour kind of situation?
Amanda: Yup. Yup.
Brandon: What was the thinking, and what's the color?
Michael: What was the inspiration? I want to know the process-
Michael: Every single step.
Brandon: Who did she go to?
Amanda: So the answer to all of your questions is “gay.”
Amanda: Because having had so many now strong female role models in her life over the last few months, Inara is just ready to commit to a haircut and a lifestyle that she could not have when she was at home. And so she has gone for the full short-on-the-sides, longer-on-top style. It’s a bit of a little- little retro pompadour. Her hair is silvery colored, which it was before but it was more kind of like chin and shoulder-length
Brandon: Beautiful. Love it.
Amanda: So now she has a statement- sort of like regal older woman who is like shorter hair because she has like better shit to do than style her hair, but is still like intentional. That is her whole vibe and she hopes that Captain Alex notices.
Brandon: Now what is Captain Alex's hairstyle?
Eric: Well first of all this is “Thieves Can't Do Hair,” the podcast within a podcast where we talk about Inara’s haircut.
Brandon: (laughs) Amanda is mouth agape.
Eric: Everyone is stunned at how good that pun was
Michael: That was good, that was good
Amanda: I am the “: D” face right now. This is “Queer Eye For The Straight Assassin.” No. No this is-
Amanda: No this is “Queer Eye for the Queer Assassin,”-
Eric: It’s not- it’s not- it’s not true, but it’s very good!
Amanda: “Queer Eye for the Queer Assassin,” where we talk about style help for the modern-day woman
Brandon: Now what is Alex's hairstyle?
Amanda: Is it- it’s just a buzzcut.
Eric: I don’t know you haven’t… Oh! Hmm...
Amanda: That's what I would think-
Michael: (laughing) I mean we've definitely met Alex before-
Amanda: -but do what you will
Michael: - so we know-
Eric: No, Captain Alex has-
Amanda: She had a hat on!
Eric: Captain Alex has a high top bun that she keeps under her various sailing equipment, hair, hat-
Brandon: Now, her routine for keeping... see the salt water is going to mangle your hair, you know? You have to get a lot of special products. So does she upkeep it or is she just like a natural kind of like “I flow with the ocean” kind of thing?
Eric: She definitely flows with the ocean.
Brandon: Beautiful. I love it. I love it
Eric: I can say that on behalf of Captain Alex, as she's come out of my brain- that she loves the ocean.
Brandon: Is there maybe a starfish- like a tiny starfish somewhere in there?
Eric: Brandon, your head out of your ass! There's no starfish!
Amanda: Brandon, that’s buried inside for her intimate (whispering) partners to find
Michael: So we started a new arc today!
Michael: And it's called what Eric?
Brandon: (at the same time as Eric) Hair! Salon Party!
Eric: It's called Bachelorette Party!
Amanda: That’s why we're talking about love!
Eric: It's called Bachelorette Party!
Amanda: I don't know I always just picture like who's going to fall in love with each other on the Bachelorette Party but that's just my upbringing as a queer lady looking for myself media.
Brandon: So if Tracey and Inara and Johnny had to fall in love with one NPC -
Brandon: Everyone pick. Inara.
Amanda: Okay, we’re gonna-
Brandon: You can’t choose Alex! You can’t choose Alex!
Brandon: Well okay-
Michael: Yeah, why?
Brandon: You can, but that’s a given
Amanda: I won't do that just to be surprising.
Amanda: Just think about it for a second, and let's just say on three (Michael groans) who our characters would fall in love with. And it could be like best friend platonic love if that’s what suits you.
Michael: (at the same time as Brandon) Johnny’s got it.
Brandon: No it has to be non-platonic, very sexual, very good, very healthy love
Michael: Johnny’s got it
Amanda: Okay- alright, Eric would you count us down?
Eric: Alright, 3-2-1
(all speaking at once)
Michael: The Light slash Shadow
Eric: Actually, Johnny has such a sexual relationship with the Shadow!
Amanda: Noooo don’t mess it up!
Michael: But the sexual side is the Shadow. The emotional side is the Light-
Eric: That’s true
Michael: Together, because they're codependent the Shadow and the Light, Johnny is in a great threesome!
Eric: You’re a great throuple!
Amanda: Brandon, what did you say?
Brandon: What? I don’t- What?
Amanda: What’d you say?!
Brandon: I said Jamie.
Amanda: Awww! Wait did Brandon have a little crush?
Eric: I didn't know that
Brandon: Brandon? Brandon’s fine. (laughing)
Amanda: Did Tracey have a little crush?
Brandon: I think Tracey has a little bit of a crush!
Eric: I like how this is like in-game shipping. I love that!
Brandon: I mean it's not shipping if it's my own character! (laughing)
Eric: I know, that’s why it’s funny!
Amanda: It’s canon! It’s canon! So what- what about Jamie appeals to Tracey?
Brandon: I think it was the first person he's run into that he’s actually had like a… um… not combative. Combative is the wrong word, but someone who can actually, like, take him on and shut him down.
Amanda: Like an equal. A peer.
Brandon: An equal, yeah.
Michael: I feel like Johnny is a little insulted by that, but he is an old man and can be okay with that.
Brandon: Johnny’s his brother I think- his dad-father
Brandon: Yeah he’s dad-father
Michael: Everyone's dad
Amanda: His uncle
Brandon: If you remember in the episode- I don't- I don’t know how I’m going to cut it, but I don't think Tracey was very happy about Jamie leaving. I think he was trying to get him to stay.
Eric: Oh I didn't catch that. I think it's tough for Tracey. It's nice to know that, like- when I was in high school I like pined after girls who like didn't know I was there. So Tracey is like- in his beginning phases of life and he's pining after people who don't know he's there and only care about murder-
Eric: Much like my high school experience.
Michael: Tracey did spend an extended period of time just embracing Jamie.
Eric: That's true!
Eric: That’s true!
Michael: That we really have forgotten about
Amanda: Just restraining him in the hut. It was kind of private. It was shadowed-
Brandon: It was very private
Amanda: - I don't what went on there. Listen fans, you can talk about it amongst yourselves.
Eric: Kisses. It was kisses.
Brandon: I also don't think Tracy exactly knows what's happened -like I don't think he knows. I-I...
Amanda: Like queer youth and like youth of all stripes you just don't know what's happening inside it's just a lot!
Eric: (singing) I wanna know what love is! I want you to show me!
Brandon: Or just like you know being a kid in general
Brandon: “Oh what are feelings?” kind of thing
Amanda: I know you don't know until you kind of look at it in retrospect
Michael: You just forgot to like screw that part of your arm the right amount that morning, and that's- you're fine now.
Eric: Oh no my feelings button is been pushed!
Amanda: How nice would that be right? To just like recalibrate your feelings- like this is what it’s supposed to be
Brandon: Oh my god, yes
Michael: That’s how I feel every day-
Brandon: Wait is rage button just a feeling button? Is that what that is? Like, anger-
Eric: It’s a- yeah it’s an anger button-
Amanda: It’s intensity-
Eric: You have an anger button
Amanda: It’s intensity. Yeah. So we are seeing a very cool new part of our world, but before we get there we had a kind of eventful journey. I just taught Oatcake some tricks. It's very cute. I'm excited to kind of see where that fruit goes in the future. But Tracey and Johnny, what did you guys get up to?
Brandon: I my head, Tracey was gonna go up to Inara like, “Look at the watch I made!” Like try to impress Inara because I don't think he's impressed Inara yet, but didn't have time. We didn’t-
Amanda: No I just jumped into the abyss first.
Brandon: I fell off the deck
Michael: You jumped, you jumped
Brandon: No I fell. I fully fell.
Eric: The ground opened beneath him and he swallowed him up
Michael: Oh that part, yes
Amanda: How charitable of you, Johnny
Eric: Alright, I want to be clear, first of all, that I followed D&D regular falling damage. You do one d6 for each ten feet that you fall. I rolled five d6 for Tracey and three d6 for Johnny, and the numbers just said the Johnny took more damage. I just want to put that out there.
Eric: I'm not targeting everyone's favorite old man
Amanda: But before that happened, you guys had a really interesting moment on the caravan. So whose idea was that?
Michael: I have- from day one of me getting Robomancy- like I have always wanted to like mess around with robotics and Tracey since in Tracy's character backstory, it was Johnny who kind of re-awoke him, so I always wanted to do something like that.
As we were planning out what we were going to do on the caravan, Brandon was talking about wanting to take some pieces out of him and make something, and I kept going like “I have those parts you don't have to take it away from you. I have a book that can help you train. You don't have to do that.” And we're like “Instead of me just sleeping the whole trip, we could just make something together.”
Amanda: Granddad wakes up for about an hour per day. Yeah
Brandon: Yeah and I am Level 1 artificer now and what the artificer does is make things. I think he's a magical engineer essentially. And I think I wanted to get on the road of not only like learning about myself but also like (laughing) learning how to build things outside of me and make cool things.
Michael: Yeah and I have the robomancy which is like- I want to, you know, mess with the gears and things
Brandon: Is robomancy the theme of the Bachelorette game? Bachelorette: Robomancy, but it’s roman- it’s romanti-
Brandon: Rom- yeah.
Michael: Oh no. This was bad.
Brandon: Is it just all robots? Because that would be very-
Eric: No, it’s just ro-mantasy
Amanda: How about “Robomancy of the Heart”?
Brandon: That’s very good
Eric: Yeah that's what romanticy is, it’s your manipulation of feelings.
Amanda: Mhm. It is.
Eric: What I really like about your relationship is- 1, I get to sing “Cat's Cradle,” (all laughing) and 2, is that this is the first time that both you have built something. It's like your whole entire relationship is built upon the fact that Johnny can like power machines and has powered Tracey, but like you guys have both built a thing together. I think that’s really interesting from like new skills that you've gained over the course of this adventure.
Brandon: Yeah it's definitely an evolution of the relationship. Like I think previously Tracey was dependent on Johnny for essentially... survival in a sense? Like I think Johnny was a little more flappable, but-
Michael: I mean I would think- at least like in my headcanon like the whole thing that is like Johnny sees a warforged kind of like- semi-pitifully like sitting- I believe it was on a well- and it's like “I'm spreading the Light! Let's spread the Light to this!” and all Johnny does is really kickstart you, because just- you have all the mechanisms and the magics of the warforged to keep you going once you're just like- Boom! Get that little burst of energy to start, and that's what happened with the watch. I don't think at first Johnny really thought about what he was doing or the consequences of it and that over time he's hopefully has- hopefully he's been thinking about it. But obviously we’re good frands!
Brandon: I like to think that- this isn't canon- but
Michael: Is it not?
Brandon: I like to think that as Johnny was walking away, Tracey just kind of like took three steps behind him and stopped when Johnny would stop.
Amanda: (laughing) aww
Brandon: And then Johnny would keep moving and Tracey would start again
Michael: Well that absolutely happened
Brandon: And then eventually he gained trust and he stood next to him and-
Amanda: Like a Fantasia shadow or something
Eric: That’s pretty adorable
Brandon: But we also got to see a little bit of something I’ve been excited about which was a little more of the sigil- the runes on Tracey take a larger role.
Eric: Yeah that was cool.
Brandon: Yeah but I've been excited about that for a while and I think as I get more magical bits going on we'll see more of what that means.
Michael: And I know Johnny is excited to have another real magic user on the team because- hold on- Because Brandon just gave me a look like that. When it comes to rogues and how they use magic like Mage Hand, it's not real magic, it's more like they are- they kind of make it happen through just like trickery or whatever, in terms of the canon of how their magic works. We do it in a fun way by having like a Mickey Mouse hand do that but-
Eric: (In Mickey Mouse voice) Ha-ha! I'm stealing your shit!
(Amanda and Eric laughing like Mickey Mouse)
Michael: But like real real magic which an artificer can do- I'm steamrolling through this! To avoid the lawsuits
Eric: (In Mickey Mouse voice) Ha-ha! Mickey Mouse! He’s gonna stab you in the butt!
Michael: They will buy and sell-
Amanda: (In Mickey Mouse voice) Oh watch out kids!
Michael: - us in a moment guys, we need to be careful
Eric: (in Mickey Mouse voice): Ha-ha, Disney, buy my property!
Amanda: Yeah, but to me-
Eric: (in a Goofy voice) Aw, shucks Mickey- no that’s, that’s a very bad Goofy
Eric: (makes Donald Duck noises)
Brandon: That was a pretty good Daffy
Eric: Thank you. Donald
Brandon: Donald. Whatever
Amanda: To me magic with rogues is just kind of like shortening the physical distance. It's like a fast pass or a shortcut or like a buffering jump where you can just kind of like reach slightly further, go slightly faster, or just have a little bit more influence over the physical world than you otherwise would, whereas I feel like a lot of your magic is like truly conjuring from nothing. And that's just not the kind of stuff that I think Inara would be even interested in doing.
Brandon: Now did you say “Fastpass” because we were making a bunch of Disney jokes?
Amanda: I- I think it’s suitable, but yes.
I for one am really excited to see more about the world that we find ourselves in. The idea of a like underworld or an iceberg-shaped thing where whatever is on the surface is not necessarily indicative of everything else that is to be discovered is just so interesting to me. And I love that. Guys, do you have any predictions on what it is that we're going to find here?
Brandon: I mean in my head I immediately thought of the Underdark, and I'm very curious to see-
Brandon: -if that is a thing. Now, if anyone hasn't played D&D before, the Underdark is sort of like the- it's not like hell, it’s sort of like purgatory almost-esque?
Brandon: It's like a it's a place underground that's like full of really seedy characters, full of big bad monsters, scary…
Michael: Like that one song says, “heaven is a place on earth,” the Underdark is a place on earth.
Michael: It's not that it’s like a plane of existence, it's just way bigger than anyone thinks it is. And it's like spans throughout everything, kind of like a Döove and Böosters, where it's like everywhere and nowhere at the same time. If Tortipolis is like the Underdark then… Oh no! Spider Queen!
Brandon: Well traditionally yeah- traditionally it holds one of the races that lived-
Michael: All sorts of orc, kobold-
Brandon: Traditionally scary icky monsters from like Lord of the Rings or whatever
Amanda: What is Kohl?
Michael: Kohl is a tiefling
Brandon: I am excited about the Underdark. I say that because Tracey speaks Undercommon
Eric: I did not know that
Brandon: Because you know he was a detective, and he went into the seedy, seedy under places-
Amanda: For instance, street urchins. I thought of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, which is a novel that takes place in a sort of like anti-London or an Underground London, a Shadow London, which I really super enjoyed
Brandon: Sort of like a Jekyll and Hyde-esque aesthetic where it's like a really dark-esque London?
Amanda: Yeah it's like a quasi-medieval fairy, fey realm that you can access via certain like kind of hidden points, platform nine-and-three-quarters like Diagon Alley style
Amanda: And kind of like nefarious business happens there. And once you go there, time passes differently. Like morals are different. You can you know accidentally promise away stuff you didn't plan to give away. So just the idea that deals and exchanges aren't quite what they seem, I find to be really compelling.
Brandon: That's really cool. At some point can we play the Jack the Ripper one shot?
Amanda: Fuck yes
Brandon: That would be so much fun.
Amanda: I would DM that!
Brandon: Let’s do it!
Eric: Oh shit
Michael: You should DM that
Brandon: New Patreon goal! That’s our-
Amanda: New. Patreon. Goal
Michael: There is also a very good board game- I think it's called “White Chapel.”
Michael: That I’ve played a few times-
Brandon: I’ve heard of that, yeah
Amanda: That makes sense!
Michael: I've played it like two or three times and it's really good.
Amanda: You liked it?
Michael: Yeah I played it at PAX actually. It's really great. And it’s- you're hunting Jack the Ripper and it's really great.
Amanda: Ooh, I love that
Michael: And we should find it a procure it and play it
Eric: I have a whole bunch of questions! Alright, this one is from Darcy. What does each character's dream theater role?
Michael: Johnny’s living it. I don't know!
Eric: It's the eventual musical about Johnny's life- that someone’s gonna write
Michael: Johnny’s living a musical in his head
Brandon: Like Hamlet is perfect for Tracey right?
Amanda: Yeah. I mean I don't know, like I think Inara would have fun playing like all of the cowboys in Oklahoma or Annie in Annie Get Your Gun.
Eric: She'd be all- everybody in Annie Get Your Gun.
Amanda: Yeah like I will ride a horse across the stage for two hours I don't care what you guys say
Brandon: I'm the horse and the rider.
Michael: Bye Bye Birdie- What's the guy's name?
Michael: Isn't that something-
Michael: I was in that too! Johnny's Birdie.
Amanda: I think Johnny would play Prospero in The Tempest, like just give advice
Eric: Yes! Absolutely!
Amanda: Be a dad, like-
Michael: That makes more sense
Amanda: Like marshal the forces…
Amanda: Like yell at a fairy…
Amanda: You’re done
Eric: We got a really thoughtful question from JJ on our Discord: As everyone is more or less in stride with their characters now, I'm wondering if you have any character creation regrets like you wish you went with a slightly different option to the one you chose?
Michael: As it's been pointed out to me by Eric and myself, I’ve-
Michael: Kind of- As I've pointed out to myself I may have min-maxed a bit for Johnny, so I don't actually regret any of the decisions, especially my decisions when I leveled up and could have been upping my strength which is a -1, or helping myself in the areas where Johnny is not great at. I think if I had tried to really fully pursue the min-max life and fully pursue the like make this an OP character, I would have regretted it, so I like that Johnny has like a lot of Persuasion, so he can just do that and you know he's not good at any of the like strength-related things, but I don't regret that and I don't regret- I really don't regret any of my choices with him. I think he's a fun character. If he were in any way different in terms of class or who he is, I would regret maybe some of the fact that I prioritized most of my spells in like joke-ish spells.
Eric: Yeah that's what I was going to say
Michael: But I enjoy that. For me, like I would do that anyway with a character who does not have necessarily quote-unquote “useful” spells because that's more fun.
Eric: Yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you're putting together Johnny. If I have any regrets for you it's that Wizards didn't like follow through by finishing the Undying Light and just kind of scrapped it and made the warlock into a cleric
Amanda: Yeah I regret the timing in that there are some very cool rogue subclasses that came out in Xanathar’s that I wish I was able to consider, but I love my flippy teen assassin and got no regrets there.
Eric: Yeah I think again Inara as an inquisitor or Inara as a mastermind- something that's like less stabby-
Eric: And more just like manipulative, which is like the way that our game is going.
Eric: It’s just less assassin-y.
Amanda: Yeah my inclination as a person is to talk things out, and not go for fisticuffs or you know hard deadlines, or anything. So that could have been a cool fit, but I think the character has definitely grown into her subclass and has grown because of her subclass so it wouldn't be the Inara we know if her subclass were different.
Brandon: I don't know this is a hard question. Like when I first started this character and we talked about it briefly on the Character Live - you guys listen to that episode. I was a paladin originally- Tracey was a paladin, which sucked just like mechanically, like it was just too much information. So I- I simplified a lot and I sort of chose a class that I didn't really like. It's not really interesting to me, barbarian. But it's like sort of necessary in this production space of I have to look after the audio stuff while playing a game, which is- divides my attention a lot. So it's tricky.
I don't know if I would... I think a lot of this can be solved down a line of like thinking about like multiclassing, and thinking about other things like that. But I think I was hamstringed- I think I still am a little hamstringed right now as a character. I can just punch, and that's pretty much it. Which kind of is boring to me. But I think I've made up a lot of that in actual like just character development, like a character persona. I think he has a personality, I think he has a- he's like fairly living but as terms of like D&D go, it's pretty basic. I would have liked to seen like a slightly more magical Tracey I think.
Michael: But I-I mean I think that for the three of our characters, it's kind of better that we haven't fully focused on combat-heavy stuff and that we are focused more on the RP side of it because I've said it a billion times, that's what's more interesting to me about D&D and role playing games in general. I love rolling the dice and we still roll the dice for our skills, which you know Tracey has good skills, Inara has great skills, Johnny has some really great and some really not-great skills.
Michael: Like that's what's fun. We don't have to be the best at punching by doing super crazy punches
Brandon: No but that's not even what I mean. I mean like to your point like I don't think Tracey has skills. I think he is a strongboy he can lift rocks. Like other than that I think he's kind of bumbles his way through things, which is pretty annoying. He's really high in Constitution but is rarely used.
Michael: I feel like unfortunately for you you've also rolled badly, because you do have-
Michael: - some true skills but you have- it's almost every time when you're about to be that investigator or do that like amazing thing you- you crit fail.
Amanda: I mean I think that works for advantage though, because Tracey is a hammer and not a scalpel. But you have like developed the character such that he knows that
Amanda: And he's really you know conscientious about when he uses rage and not, and when he goes in for like a physical response to situations and not. So I think that’s really interesting to know that a character is kind of in his conception one thing to bring to the party, and he's going to do all he can not to do that or he's going to you know leverage it when he wants to. And I think that would be less interesting or that wouldn't be the case if he were able to you know cast spells on the fly or something.
Brandon: True. I think as a player like in other games I've played, I am much more of a scalpel, and that's honestly where I feel best. It's not- I've never had such a rich character that I've had with Tracey but like... like I played like a wild magic sorcerer that basically carries the team at points. Like he's amazing and he's a gnome and he’s fun. But like I do feel like I'm following y’alls leads a lot which-
Amanda: Really Tracey? Because I feel like you make choices and we just deal with it.
Brandon: That is true!
Amanda: Some of the time!
Brandon: True true true true true true true!
Amanda: Some of the time!
Brandon: But in major- in combat moments, yes. But in major like plot develop moments where we like talk to NPCs and stuff like I don't feel like I have a say a lot of the time because Tracey as a character wouldn't have a say. He doesn't really care very much about like political ongoings and like dealings with folks that isn't just like what his immediate goal is or what his long term goal is. And I think he enjoys spending time with people, and he's enjoying spending time with the party but he is not- he doesn't really like have a stake in the meta-game that we have going or like the game itself like the intrigue, the political stuff, all that stuff.
Amanda: Fair enough
Brandon: I don't know. I don't know if it's a regret, but I think as a player, I miss some of like being a leader, I think.
Amanda: That's one vote for having multiple campaigns right?
Amanda: Where you can play different things, you can DM one, be a player in the other, exercise different parts of your personality and your brain.
Michael: I'm very nervous how Johnny is going to do in the Bachelorette.
Brandon: I'm nervous about Johnny's light situation
Amanda: Inara is not worried at all. I'm ready to rock it. I'm going to win. I have a cute dog next to me, and I have a great new haircut.
Brandon: It is funny that Tracey is now thrust into the sort of intermediary between the two of you, (Amanda laughing) where he's been sort of ousted previously, because now we have someone who is very at home and someone who is horribly not at home. And I'm just chilling because I don’t- I have robot eyes.
Michael: The thing is is that as long as I'm able to make enough light around me, I should be okay. And I have a feeling there's gonna be light in this place. It's not like they live in darkness.
Amanda: I mean we're fully illuminated right now in the middle of a colosseum television set-
Brandon: That is fair. Good point
Michael: And it's TV, so you need to have good lighting.
Brandon: You do
Amanda: I’m assuming it’s fantasy TV, but who knows.
Michael: I mean sure.
Amanda: I mean it's also just like performance with an audience there, so-
Michael: Either way you need good lighting, so you know not that this is the start of the campaign to get Johnny to win… Vote for me, Johnny B
Amanda: Hashtag Team Inara
Michael: Vote for me, Johnny B!
Brandon: Vote for me if you want, it’s fine
Eric: Guys, first of all this is not American Idol. People aren’t texting in
Michael: Call in at 86-
Amanda: I meeeeeean, who knows?!
Brandon: You know we could get a Google Voice number and find out
Eric: I just want to say first of all, shout out to my friend Adrienne, who I talked about writing a Bachelor, Bachelorette themed D&D campaign months and months ago, so thank you for getting this in my head. I'm so fucking stoked for this arc guys. Hold on to your butts.
Brandon: Get your Bachelorette pool started NOW immediately.
Amanda: Yes please call the number to tell us why Johnny or Inara, or I guess Tracey as the dark horse pick, or maybe Oatcake should be winning this competition-
Michael: Are there any other-
Amanda: We want to hear from you.
Michael: Are there any other contestants? I'm sorry I interrupted
Brandon: We don't know yet but-
Amanda: We don’t know yet
Brandon: Tracey does have the biggest muscles, so like… is that a thing?
Amanda: Inara does have the cutest and most spunky look.
Brandon: I have a cannon for an arm.
Michael: I am a licensed therapist.
Amanda: I have flesh
Michael: (laughing) What is that supposed to mean?
Eric: Ooh, got ‘em! Got ‘em, Tracey!
Amanda: Not to pull the flesh card, but I have flesh
Michael: Oh, that’s true
Brandon: What does Johnny have?
Michael: I can do handshakes real great.
Amanda: Johnny has piety. Inara has fun.
Brandon: You know what, I am a very good hugger
Eric: That's true
Michael: Let’s see, I got-
Brandon: Just putting that out there
Michael: I got that emotional Light side and I got that sexy Shadow side
Amanda: Which you completely don't embrace and try to shove as much as you can-
Michael: Learning to embrace-
Amanda: - and sublimate under the Light
Michael: This is called growing as a warlock.
Brandon: I think Tracey’s- Tracey’s gonna get a haircut (laughing) that matches Inara’s
Michael: (excitedly, laughing) Can we all get a haircuts to match Inara’s?!
Amanda: Just three Stonefaces in a row and then we’ll give Oatcake a little twirl on top, too.
Amanda: Listeners. I think you are the only ones who can adjudicate this besides whoever in Eric's fantasy world is going to be choosing the winner here but I'm stoked. I freakin’ love and hate this whole Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise franchise. I participated in a Bachelorette betting pool last season and it was great fun even though I lost spectacularly, so I am here for it.
Michael: I can confirm that I've seen exactly zero full episodes of any of those things, and can barely get through the commercials.
Brandon: I listen to the podcasts by our own Griffin McElroy-
Eric: Our own? (laughing)
Brandon: And by our own I mean-
(at the same time)
Michael: Our own?!
Amanda: Our own!
Brandon: Our best friend and confidant-
Amanda: Our imaginary peer
Brandon: That we don't know at all. And Rachel McElroy who was also probably better than Griffin
Eric: Oh, got ‘em
Amanda: Hot take!
Eric: I enjoy the type of television that the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise TV series creates. I think it's super trashy and ridiculous and definitely over-the-top, though I acknowledge that it's crazy manipulative and the things that happened on Bachelor in Paradise last season was super murky, and I take all of this really seriously- the ways that like heterosexuality is like foisted upon these people, but I think it’s a very interesting place for us to play.
We're using this as a structure, and no one is telling us to do this, and I think you should just come along with me and see how fun this is. Also, I’m thinking like this is like Unreal, that one show on Lifetime. We're being critical of this thing while still living in this world, so. I just want to get out ahead of that.
Brandon: I think that if there is someone I would trust to do this correctly it would be our good DM Eric
Amanda: Me too.
Michael: These shows frustrate me, but I will WIN!
Michael: Because I want to win.
Amanda: Well I'm excited to see what comes next. And thank you for joining us for this After Party. Please let us know what you think. Send us a voice memo! You can reach us at (443) 971-1106. And you can e-mail us if you go to jointhepartypod.com there's a little contact button. We also have transcripts for every single episode and After Party and Punchbowl up on the website for you, for your friends who are deaf or hard of hearing, or if you just want to like have a transcript to go and see how we spell certain names. It is there for you.
Michael: Fun fact, I've spoke to people who don't speak English or English is not their first language. Amanda: There you go.
Michael: And they found that the transcripts are really useful and that was really nice to hear.
Amanda: That is awesome. I love to read along with subtitles in French or in Spanish as I watch TV shows. It's very helpful for understanding, so I am super stoked that helps others enjoy the show.
Brandon: I also want to say you can spell Tracey however you want to spell Tracey.
Eric: No! Tracey has an E!
Brandon: Listen when the way I spell it was an E, but he doesn't care. He's not a grammar bot.
Michael: How did Alonzo? S or Z?
Amanda: Z, baby
Michael: That’s what I thought, yeah.
Brandon: Slightly zexy
Amanda: Slightly sexy hashtag
Michael: And slightly zesty!
Eric: Martinsson has like two Rs and like three Ss.
Michael: Every time I write Martinsson it’s a different way
Amanda: Thombjorn is just like- who the fuck knows?
Eric: Oh my god I spell Thombjorn like 5 different ways
Amanda: Point being is that our show is going off the rails. But there is lots of goodness in store for you at jointhepartypod.com, and you can join us on all the social media places! @JoinThePartyPod on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook! You can go to jointhepartypod.tumblr.com to see some good good fan art, and some other character art, and D&D jokes. It's a really nice place. As is our Patreon, where we post all kinds of goodies just for our patrons, and we have a thriving Discord where folks post pictures of their corgis, and their brownies, and their morning commutes, and their cute selfies from parties and there's just like all kinds of amazing stuff going on. So join us for as little as one dollar per episode at patreon.com/jointhepartypod. That’s gonna do it for us! Please join us in two weeks for our next episode of The Bachelorette Party arc. We cannot wait to see you there.
Eric: See you later!
Michael: Undying Light and Shadow be with you
Michael: (in Goofy voice) euuhhhh!
Eric: Woooooow (singing Join the Party theme) buh buh buh buh! Buh buh buh buh!
(all singing Join the Party theme)
All: Buh buh buh buh! Buh buh-buh-buh!