The party finally gets their meeting with Representative Shields. Will they get the answers they need from the Statehouse or are they setting themselves up for the Big House? Johnny gets quiet. Inara wants a sandwich. Tracey goes out for tea.
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Cast & Crew
- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver
- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle
- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin
- Johnny B. Goodlight: Michael Fische
- Multitude: multitude.productions
Amanda: Last time, on Join the Party:
Eric: Turns out the best way to diffuse a situation is to ask straight forward about their intentions. Who knew? Inara shows us how to descalate a situation, while Jamie was brought back to life to bring a situation to the Blackfish.
Eric (as Jamie): I...We're going to kill all of them. How does that sound? Murder. Lots and lots of murder.
Eric: Once the party gets out of this mess, they only have one question.
Amanda: Did we forget Alonzo?
Brandon: I totally forgot about Alonzo.
Alonzo, Evan, and the young people from the bar are partying on a half-built bridge in the center of the river, but the river is filled with ghastly fish monsters.
Eric (as Hephaestus): Oh yeah, man. They were totally... they got turnt. They got crunk.
Eric: Everyone fit in just fine --
Amanda (as Inara): Hey, what's up fellow teens and cool 20 somethings?
Eric: especially Johnny, who laid down his Dad voice to break up the danger.
Michael (as Johnny): I'm a fan of good times, Alonzo, but I'm also a fan of responsibility. I’ll see you in the morning.
Eric: At the end of their harrowing night out, Johnny seeks the guidance of his lantern. And gets more questions than answers.
Michael (as Johnny): What should I be looking for as the sign of the next champion or the next artifact?
UDL: Five champions rise from our center. Look for: the sword of flame, the boots aground, the liar’s mouthpiece, the labyrinth key and the shining medallion.
Eric: Okay. Okay. What’s next? Let’s get the party started.
Fish: Johnny wakes up just before the roosters start crowing outside and he taps on Tracey shoulder and beckons him to begin the morning routine.
Brandon: And, without a word, Tracey stands up from his sentry mode, follows Johnny into the middle of the room and they get into their first pose.
Fish: And we do some calisthenics and some light yoga for about 30 minutes…
Brandon: with no talking, just breathing.
Amanda: Inara, meanwhile, is sprawled out on her bedm, limbs intertwined with Oatcake, just snoring, hair all over the place, boots still askew, drooling profusely onto the pillow.
Fish: Once we're done with callisthenics Johnny makes the bed even though he doesn't have to make sure the pack is all good to go. And…
Fish (as Johnny): Tracey, you ready to go?
Brandon (as Tracey): Let's do it.
B: Tracey grabs his pack and any of the extra things he's picked up along the road and follows Johnny out the door.
F: Johnny walks up to his door and, through the keyhole, casts prestidigitation to create the smell of bacon...
A: Oh my god
F: ...just entering the room.
A: And obviously, Inara sits right up, pillow lying on her face and looks around, realizes there's no bacon in the room and goes,
Amanda (as Inara): Johnny, there'd better be bacon downstairs.
Fish (as Johnny): I'm sure there is. Come on, let's go.
F: Before we head downstairs, Johnny shares with them the details of the second question and second answer, including the five items that were mentioned and the fact that the people holding those items may not necessarily be worthy of them.
Amanda (as Inara): exasperated Do you think it's some dumb like ‘you grow to fulfill your destiny’ type lesson? Feels like a lesson-y type thing.
Fish (as Johnny): Yeah probably. But also, you know how Alonzo is so… maybe he just was never worthy of it?
Amanda (as Inara): Well, only one way to find out. Let’s see if he regrets his actions from last night.
Eric: From your room, you hear Alonzo’s yelling the words, ice knife, muffled through the walls. He's like,
Eric (as Alonzo): yelling ICE KNIFE! ICE KNIFE!
E: And he's saying it with different emphasis.
Eric (as Alonzo): ICE knife. ice KNIFE.
A: Oatcake sighs heavily and I pat on the head and saying, “Oh, I know, girl.”
Fish (as Johnny): Let's get Alonzo and go get breakfast.
E: Hephaestus puts his hands on every single one of you and does his trick again. This one is what you want for breakfast. Tracey gets two eggs, over eas,y and a slice of bacon in a smiley face. Inara gets for waffles, slathered in syrup.
E: And Johnny gets a bucket of wine.
A: You know, a breakfast bucket.
E: And another bucket next to him is full of oatmeal, equally sized.
Fish (as Johnny): I think your eyes busted. my friend.
Eric (as Hephaestus): Eye think this is very funny.
Fish (as Johnny): I think…
Eric (as Hephaestus): I was referencing my eye…
Fish (as Johnny): I got you.
Eric (as Hephaestus): I am very good at pun, ocular puns. That's my thing.
F: Johnny grabs the two buckets and walks through a table.
A: And how’s Alonzo looking in this morning?
E: It takes a little while for Alonzo to come down but when he does, he is looking so rough. He doesn't look anyone in the face. And he's so bleary eyed, he walks down the stairs and he puts his head down on the bar and doesn't move.He holds one hand up and says
Eric (as Alonzo): tired Orange juice, ice knife/
E: and nothing happens. Also, the teens are all slowly waking up as well, but they can't move. They’re at the point of being hungover where you can just like moan loudly. So every so often there's one of them just goes, “UHHHHHHHNNN.”
F: I place the wine bucket at their table.
A: That’s very generous of you.
E: All of them just roll away from it. They go “URRRRP,” and roll away.
Brandon (as Tracey): Hey Cassie, how do you doin?
Eric (as Cassie): Uhhhhggghhhh, nooooo. No, I can't. No.
Brandon (as Tracey): Are you feeling like…?
Eric (as Cassie): Talk to me in like 2 hours.
Brandon (as Tracey): Are feeling like alcohol-death or like normal-death?
Eric (as Cassie): What? No, all equal amounts of No.
Brandon (as Tracey): Okay, good. Guys I think Cassie is good.
A: From around the third waffle, Inara goes:
Amanda (as Inara): mumbles while chewing on waffle
E: At this point, the doors are thrown open and Ev bounds in, so excited to be there.
E: He’s so happy like,
Eric (as Ev): What up, guys? What's happening?
Brandon (as Tracey): This is my breakfast, Evan.
Eric (as Ev): This is my favorite time of the day. It's when all the breakfast comes together and it's that thing where you are just like happy to be alive and like everyone's here and you're just going to go and we got important stuff to do. Let's do the thing.
B: Tracey like encircles his breakfast plate with his arms and kind of encapsulates the breakfast so no one can take it.
A: My plate’s clean so I'm not worried.
E: Just licking the syrup off of it?
A: I’m letting Oatcake eat that.
Brandon makes a sound that he thinks its very cute.
F: I give Evan my bucket of oatmeal.
Eric (as Ev): Hey, no thanks, my boy. I ate at home
F: *enraged* My boy!! MY BOOOOY.
Eric (as Ev): That looks very delicious. It's that thing where like grains come together and you like put spices and syrup and other delicious things and I can't really think of what it is but I am very happy to see you. Pew pew pew.
Fish (as Johnny) glowering I enjoy to see you too.
F: And I take a very small spoon and start eating from the bucket.
E: Like a sugar bowl spoon.
F: Yes, very tiny.
E: Alright, and Evan says:
Eric (as Ev): Listen, whenever you guys want to go see Representative Shields, we can do it. Super excited. Going to be great.
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah man, let's like get a jump on the day and stuff. Early birds, worms, you know. Let's do it.
E: When you said, “Get a jump of the day,” Ev does a standing front flip. He's like,
Eric (as Ev): “Yeah, get him a jump of the day. Hell yeah.”
A: Inara’s eyes just widem and she goes,
Aanda (as Inara): Yeah, sick flip, man.
B: Tracey pauses with like an egg halfway to his mouth.
E: All right. While you are eating your breakfast, this would be a perfect time to tell you sings a video game jingle You are all now level 5!
E: All right, let's go around in a circle. Amanda, what does this mean for Inara?
A: At level five, I get plus one to the things that I am proficient in already, so I am even better at acrobatics, investigation, stealth and some other stuff. And also excitingly I have this thing called Uncanny Dodge. So attacks leveled against me, I take half damage just as a reaction. I can just dodge out of the way and that kind of glances off of me. Doesn't work for things like magic or if I have to make a saving throw against things but, for attacks, I am uncanny as heck.
E: You take half damage whenever you want. That is terrifying for me. Fish, whatcha got?
F: I have a new spell called daylight. It's my first spell, Level 3 spell.
F: And I basically create a 60 foot radius of a very bright light. And then beyond that is, 60 feet of dim light and I can do that anywhere and it can make darkness go away. And I got a new invocation - as warlock, I have invocations - and this one is the Eyes of the Rune Keeper. I can just read everything.
A: Just, just anything?
F: I can read anything. Thanks, Wizards of the Coast.
E: Let's look in the manual and see what it says. Oh, it just says the sentence, “you can read anything.” All right.
F: All writing.
B: Like regardless of language or…
F: So I can read thieves’ cant, y’all!
B: What about like if it's like slightly destroyed or something?
E: What if I have very bad handwriting?
F: I mean, it says all writing.
B: What if it's a pictogram?
F: Is it written?
E: What if it's a telegram.
F: That's not written.
E: What if it's Morse code?
F: Also not written.
A: What if it's like a text from a really drunk friend?
F: I can read that.
E: What if it's a candygram?
F: Ooooh, I can taste that.
E: Brando, what do you got?
B: I've got two extra features. I have extra attack now, meaning, which I could attack twice which is pretty cool. I can double punch, I could slash twice whenever, I grapple and punch. I also got fast movement, meaning I can move an extra 10 feet if I'm not wearing armor.
E: Which you're not because you're a naked boy.
B: Well. You’re not wrong.
F: He has a cloack.
A: You are armor.
E: I think a cape is not clothing. Like if you were streaking and you were wearing a cape, police would be like, “Hey, that guy’s streaking.”
B: I think that may hold up in court. I don't know, let’s see.
F: Well, we wouldn't know because he always has the cape on, so we don't know if he has a butt.
E: Hey Tracey, can you roll for having a butt?
A: Or just Ken Doll Style, it's just, just all round down there.
B: Well I've got a natural 400 for butts.
E: You're good, you definetely have a butt.
F: I didn't know that dice went so high.
E: Inara, your sneak attack is now even before it's 3d8.
A: Yes it is.
E: Which is scary and dangerous and you all have your proficiency bonus up to plus 3. You are all better at the things you’re good at.
Everyone goes woo.
E: All right. Evan leads you out of the Giant Mistake and starts to walk to the right. The road spirals towards the center of the large column in the middle of the city where there's a very large looking statehouse right in the center only about a mile from the big column. And you're walking uphill at this point and you're going around and around and around in a circle, it’s like this feels like the main thoroughfare. You're seeing all these people walking by you, doing their morning errands and there's stores and shops all around. And then as you get closer and closer to the center, everything kind of fades away, it's just infrastructure now. There are like streets coming off of it and there are what seem to be riverbeds or canals that just like don't have any water in it from the side that you're walking on. And then, as you go around, there seems to be like water just overflowing on one side of the city. It looks really strange. I don't know have you ever seen a city that's not working properly but it doesn't make any sense. And there's just like this one section of the city is doing fine because it has all of that water and then as the spiral comes around you see there's just like nobody there.
E: So you get to the front gate and everything of the statehouse is stone, a lot like the stone that you've seen all around the city and it has even more runes on it than you saw before. Ev goes to the front gate, knocks hard on the stone doors. And like a little slot opens and you see a very large black beak poke out through the slot.
A: That's not what I expected to happen.
B: Tracey touches it.
E: Sure, you want to make it a dexterity roll for me, my boy.
A: I love you, Brandon.
B: Ten plus one for 11.
E: As you reach out to touch the beak, it darts back and you hear the sound of an alarm just go off.
Amanda and Fish groan loudly
E: And Ev says,
Eric (as Ev): Alright, Valentine. Dude, chill out, It's fine. Don't worry about it.
E: Then, all you guys hear the sound of a drill, of a pancake being flipped, and Ev’s voice coming back saying, “Oh Valentine, don't worry it's fine.” Ev says,
Eric (as Ev): I got people with me. We got to go see the Representative. C’mon, Valntine, let me in.
E: And eventually, the doors will open up and in front of you, you see a squat humanoid-looking figure with the same outfit that Ev is wearing, his official Antipolis pless city guard outfit with big black feathers jutting through and a cowl over its face and the big black beak that you saw before.
A: As we walk in, I'd like to just look around the court and see what we're dealing with, map an escape route if necessary. Can I roll for something?
E: Sure, let's do investigation.
A: 16 plus five for 21.
E: Hey! There is only really one entrance and one exit. There are the big doors in front of you and like you're just walking in to this large statehouse. The walls surrounding the statehouse are about ten feet tall but they're only just like stone. So, in theory, if you had to hop the wall and doing whatever you had to do, you could probably do that.
A: And is there a courtyard or grass separating the wall from the building?
E: Like a short courtyard, like it's just a walking path forward. Who wants to know what this thing is?
F: I do. I will roll arcana.
E: Yes please.
F: Seven plus five.
F: Yes. Normally what that's called.
E: Yeah, you do not know the name of this particular creature but you're taking notice of the way that it speaks. It's just keeps repeating sounds back to you and to Ev. As they are continuing that conversation, Ev is like trying to catch up with whatever this thing Valentine is and it just keeps making sounds back at home. It's not like language of any kind.
F: It's a mockingbird parrot thing, yeah.
E: The voice is of a mockingbird style. Accusingly Brandon, you want to touch anything?
B: I feel like that was an attack on my character.
E: No I was just trying to predict what you want to do next.
B: No, what I do want to ask is if my danger senses going off at all?
E: Nah, you’re chill.
B: Then I'm good. When we walk past them, I am going to boop his nose.
E: Again, make a dexterity roll for booping.
B: Are we walking past him?
A: Did we not learn from Johnny losing a bunch of hit points, stealing an oatcake?
B: OK. rolls. Oh no. Oh no.
E: What’d you roll, Brandon?
B I got 3, total.
Amanda and Eric laugh
F: Oh my God.
A: It was nice knowing you as a two-handed creature, Tracey. I’m sad that one of them got bit off.
E: As you reach out and try, again, and try to touch the creature’s large beak. And the creature just disappears from your sight in front of you, like you reach out and then it's gone. And then you hear a very large car honk happen right behind you.
Brandon (as Tracey): Woah.
Eric (as Evan): Yeah, um - I know because you underestimate me last time but you don't mess with the city guard. Like these are some people who defend others, like just because you're a big bad robot man doesn't mean that we can’tdo some stuff too.
E: And Valentine responds with Ev’s voice saying “Yeah, don't mess with us.”
Brandon (as Tracey): Sorry, I was just curious. I'm Tracey!
E: Valentine respond with the sound of an entire crowd booing.
Brandon (as Tracey): Well, okay, okay.
Eric (as Evan): Yeah this cheeky little monster is Valentine. They’re pretty fun, aren’t they?
Brandon (as Tracey): I… kinda like em.
E: Valentine makes the sound of a woman going, “Woohooooo.”
Eric (as Evan): Alright, guys, we’re late. Let's go.
B: I follow, but I turn my head to keep my eye on Valentine as I walk past. Curiously.
E: Ev keeps leading you through this very large building and you're going from room to room to room. First, you’re go into some sort of entrance hall, then you feel like you're walking through people's offices and you walk past like a bunch of meetings that are continuing. Everyone has the same crest of the city, the two circles interlocking. This is the government of Antipolis and it is bustling. I'd also like to think it's pretty fun because Ev is trying to tell you everything and Valentine is trying to fill in with sounds.
F: And Evan's last name is Sorkin, correct.
E: Yes Evan Sorkin. A nice, young secretary walks in front of Ev and he says “Donna, I need the finest bagels and pastries of all the land!” and Donna says, “Get it yourself.” And he says, all right.” And you guys keep walking forward. You've walked into a very large office and there's a very, very large desk that a tall, half-elf man is sitting at with his feet up on the desk and he is very quickly flipping through a large folder. And inside, you also see one more city guard standing next to the desk who is a regular-looking human man who's wearing the same outfit as Ev is. Evan leads you all in there with Valentine and pulls you over to a couch over on the other side of the office. Ev says:
Eric (as Evan) Representative, sir. These are the guests I told you about. I think they might be here to solve our problem.
E: Alonzo runs over to the couch and sprawls himself in the comfiest way possible.
B: Tracey sits on his knees.
A: On Alonzo’s knees.
B: Yes, Alonzo's knees.
Eric (as Alonzo): No, Tracey, please. Please, get off.
Brandon (as Tracey): Oh I'm sorry. I thought couches were for more than one person.
Eric (as Alonzo): Nooo, I mean. Ugh. you know. Tracey! TRACEY.
F: I whisper to Alonzo,
Fish (as Johnny): This is the first time you're meeting another representative. How about you straighten up and act more adult?
E: Persuasion, please.
F: 16 plus eight.
E: Alonzo sits up straight immediately and sniffs really hard to try to get his entire self together, his hungover self. He's like,
Eric (as Alonzo): All right, Johnny. Okay. Yeah.
Fish (as Johnny). Good man. And I pat him on the back.
E: Where are all of you in the room? Tracey is on top of Alonzo.
B: I've shifted it off to the right.
E: Alright, Tracey’s on the couch.
F: I'm on the other side of Alonzo, next to him.
A: Sitting or standing?
A: And I'm going to stand next to Johnny, stand next to Johnny on the side of the couch. Oatcake is sitting to Alonzo at his heels, staring up at him menacingly.
B: Is there like tea or coffee in the office?
E: Yeah. On the coffee table, there there's a full tea set.
B: Tracey is going to grab some tea.
E: Does Tracey... like tea?
B: Very much so.
E: Okay I got you.
F: Johnny also get some tea.
E: Yes. Everyone can grab some tea.
A: I do not grab tea because my hands need to be free for stabbing.
E: Good. Solid, solid. Walks out the door and pokes his head out and says,
Eric (as Evan) Yeah, Callie, Torbjorn, we’re going to need you in here.
E: And the two city guard you saw from before, Callie - the tiefling woman with the unicorn horn from the boat - and Torbjorn - the very anxious dwarf man also walks in mind.
A: How is he doing, post-near drowning?
E: He looks fine. I think there's like a level of anxiety he's just always that. So he's still like pulling at his beard but he's doing pretty okay.
F: You should take a day off.
E: He says, like
Eric (as Torbjorn): I'm one year away from retirement. I’m too old for this.
A: I am crossing my arms and glaring at Callie.
E: The slender half-elf puts his feet down from behind the big desk as he sees that he has visitors and he says,
Eric (as Rep. Shields - vaguely German): Mmmmmm, visitors. Thank you all for coming. I'm so happy to have a remedy for all these problems here.
E: Evan says,
Eric (as Evan): All right, yeah. Everyone, this is Representative Shields. He is the one who takes care of business, as he likes to say.
E: And he says,
Eric (as Rep. Shields) - Yeah TCB, that's what I do, man. Mmmmmmm, yeah, the champion from Fidapolis and his motley crew of people. To what honor do we have the champion of the Concentric States coming into my office at this point?
F: I nudge Alonzo.
E: Yeah, Alonzo gets stands up and says,
Eric (as Alonzo): We're, yeah, we're here to help everyone. We know that you're having some problems and we want to help you however you definitely need it. We're kind of the response team. We can... we can do it! We're here.
B: Why didn’t we give him inspiration before we got in here? Jesus.
F: I filled the room with the smell of fresh baked cookies as Alonzo starts talking and I start having little sparks of light appear around Alonzo as he talks about how we are here to help.
E: Do you spell out anything in the light, like Charlotte's Web style?
F: Yeah, I spell out “Concentric States Unity.”
F: And then very small, towards the ground, I spell “Some Pig.”
E: laughs ™ ™ ™ ™
F: Where it’s only for me to read.
E: All of the city guard raise an eyebrow at everything that’s was happening but Representative Shields has a stone face on, he is unamused.
Eric (as Rep. Shields): That is a very good speech you have lined up, sir, champion sir. But you know the government of Antipollis is doing quite well actually. We are fine and there are no issues for us to take care of so. If you just want to… I'm not sure why you're here, in fact. There are no problems and there is no emergency mission for you to do anything for a lot of assets.
E: And Alonzo says,
Eric (as Alonzo): All right, great. We'll see you later.
E: And starts to walk out.
J: Johnny stands up…
A: Inara casts Mage Hand to yank Alonzo back by the collar. She can't quite reach him.
B: Tracey has his Long arm of the Law waiting to grapple him back into the room.
Fish (as Johnny): Well you're right. You know half of your city having no water and the other half overflowing, it doesn't seem like you have any problems, certainly no… no problem the size of a whale. I will say we are here just to say this as a sign of unity. And though you may feel we are not needed, we are here to lend a hand and lean on us for help. Much like the Concentric States should lean on one another.
Amanda (as Inara): And, you know, you are doing such a good job like guarding the city in everything that we actually back in Fidapolis want to learn a little bit from how you are organizing your… your city guiding you in such a great job. So we're hoping we could just like you know - learn, look, ask couple questions, bring back all those best practices. We love those in organizations and bring them back to Fidapolis.
E: Inara, make a persuasion check.
E: Representative Shields turns to you two and says,
Eric (as Rep. Shields): “Oh well, if it's learning you’ve come to do then why, why not? We have the finest city guard in all the Concentric States. I don't know, have you met my crew? My mates and first hands, we’re a sailing city as you can tell from having all the water around. We were happy to have show you a few things to go around.
Brandon (as Tracey): Yeah we've met. We met a little bit.
Fish (as Johnny): I'd love to go on a walk with you through the fine city that half is underwater and the other half has none. I think it would be cool…
Eric (as Rep. Shields): You said that before. Yeah. And that yes I got, what I was picking up the innuendo in which you were trying to burn me.
Brandon (as Tracey): My favorite part about your guard is when they fall in the water and that I have to save them before they get eaten by a thing.
Amanda (as Inara) And when the other wasn't trying to kill us in small boats, it was just like such a good welcome to the city.
Brandon (as Tracey): Very warm, very warm.
E: At this point, Callie steps forward and says,
Eric (as Callie): Yeah, this robot doofus didn't figure out how to not sail, we probably would've had a better time.
E: The representative holds his hands up to both of them and says
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Ah, no, no fighting in the office. You know that is my official rule. You want to fight. You can take it out and do it in the river, as I like to say.
A: I do want to glean whatever I can from how this guy is talking like if he's defensive about anything if he's hiding anything, if you change the subject quickly, just get whatever information I can.
A: That's a 12.
E: I mean he's believing in his own city and he thinks that… nothing he said is a lie. I mean he thinks that he's taking care of the problem.
A: Okay. Can I also just look around the room and see if there is anything weird and or worth stealing stuff.
E: Stealing stuff. Yeahhhh. Why do you make perception check?
A: Welp, that’s a Crit Fail.
E: You look at Tombojn and you realize that he started to pull out parts of his beard. He's tugging at it so much, he's like, it is actually pretty patchy. The representative has his hands up still.
Eric (as Rep. Shields): I was going to do a very snazzy introduction of my entire cityguard, we have a whole song and dance that we do to new people but I guess say if you know everyone already, it's fine.
Brandon (as Tracey): Now hold on!
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Now we all far past formalities now. You know, we have, you know Evan, of course. Calle - you two are getting along quite well. Tom, Tombjorn, go please, go to the health deck, as the nurses station as soon as possible. Thank you. Valentine the Kenku, who I found just running around down by the banks of the river. Isn't that right, Valentine?
E: Valentine responds just with the splashing of waves and children doing cannonballs into them.
Eric (as Rep. Shields): And the head of our city guard here. This is Bob the Skrull.
E: And Bob says,
Eric (as Bob): Hi. Hello.
Brandon (as Tracey): scared Hi.
Amanda (as Inara): Hey, man, good to meet you. Man, I have some questions for you. Can we, why don't we just like talk outside for a second, as Johnny over here, you know, uhhh, boring, questions, books. He has some questions for you, Representative about like taxes and things, I stop paying, I stop listening when he went up, but, anyway so why don't we. Why don't we step outside?
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Well I have quite a lot to talk to your champion here about government officials and I want to hear what the what the speaker has - in her all divine glory. Praise be Adama - why they have sent him here. I actually, I have something you can help us with.
F: Insight for what... can I tell the true meaning of when he talks about the speaker that could be his cadence? or that could be him just not liking the speaker and being rude… rude boy. Nat 20.
E: Nah, he's a very rude boy. There was a lot of sarcasm on that pitch. It was a slider of sarcasm about the speaker.
Eric (as Rep. Shields): I would like to keep the young Kiko here and see, see what he can tell me about everything that's going on and why I have such wonderful friends here in my office. But I do have something for the grandest security team in the Concentric States to do. Down in our official archives, we seem to have a little bit of a pest problem. And no one has really figured out how to deal with it. While I talking to the champion here if you three of you can go take care of it for us, maybe we can help you out in whatever you need. You scratch our back and we will, happily, scratch yours.
Fish (as Johnny): Yes, I do have a number for a pest control group if you need it. In the meantime, I feel like we can hang out with Alonzo a little longer.
Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, unfortunately, that's kind of our mandate not to ever leave him alone.
Everyone laughs, as they are bad at keeping an eye on Alonzo.
Brandon (as Tracey): Are we talking like mice or goblins or...
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Oh no no! That's the... goblins, there’s no such thing. There's a small bug problem and you know our city guard is all very busy and you have to do rounds and take care of all the administrative things that go on in the Capitol here. It’d be really nice sight of goodwill in between all of the states if you could just take care of it. We’d love that.
B: I can roll an insight check on that?
B: 8 plus two for ten.
E: I mean he really wants you to do this.
Amanda (as Inara): Yes sir. And you know after completing our mission of safely guiding Alonzo to this meeting and back again you know if we'd extra time something to do after dinner we'd be happy to come in and check on it.
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Okay. All right. If you don't want to take care of the pest problem, I guess that's fine. But I do need all of you to wait outside. This is official business and I do need to take care. I guess, this gives you something to do, you can walk around wherever you would like but I feel that forceful security team could help us out. But if the relationship between Fidapolis and Antipolis isn’t important enough for you to do me this favor then I guess just wait outside in the waiting room.
Brandon (as Tracey): Hey Tom, do you want to refill teapot with me.
Eric (as Tombjorn): Yeah, teapot sounds great!
B: Yes I go out of the room with Tom behind me towards the kitchen area.
Fish (as Johnny): Well I'm so glad that you view us so highly respected and that you view the people of Fidapols so highly respected. I can't wait to tell the Kikos goes that you would wish to send their envoys into a dusty room to fight pests. Anyway, good day sir.
F: I turn to walk away.
E: Alonzo's stands up and says,
Eric (as Alonzo): You know what, guys, this is official business. First time, I need to do my official duty as the champion and you know… it would be really nice if you took care of the pests but just I can't have you in here. This is secret stuff.
Amanda (as Inara): Very well but you know, I'm going to leave my official guarding dog here with Alonzo, they've, you know, really bonded and it's important you emotional support animal. Anyway, Oatcake...
Eric (as Rep. Shields): Ahh, ahhh, excuse me, I am allergic to dogs. It is already pretty not good enough, I need to clean all of these pillows later. Please take your dog with you.
A: I'm going to make meaningful eye contact with Alonzo and attempt to convey with my face “Don't mess up and run away here, buddy.” And then I will walk out with Oatcake.
Eric (as Alonzo): Okay. All right. I got it, guys. You're all fine and all of the city guard walk out. Tombjorn is going with Tracey.
E: Johnny, what do you want to do?
F: In the nearby hallways, I'm assuming there's some sort of broom closet or somewhere where I can just like pop into, and no one can see me, and no one can see me go in there and I would like to cast invisibility on myself.
E: OK, there's a bunch of checks that I need you to do. OK, so your speed is 30. Yeah, there's a broom closet within running distance. I need to make a stealth to run away without people knowing.
E: Okay, yeah. You break away from the pack really quickly, and I think for stealth, for Johnny, there's always like lying involved. What's a lie you tell everybody to break away?
Fish (as Johnny): I have not taken my morning constitutional.
Everyone laughs at groans.
E: Yeah, you slip into a broom closet.
F: I will cast invisibility on myself.
E: OK so you're invisible. Yeah. Here's what I need you to do. As the doors close, you have very limited time. Because even if you are breaking away, those doors closed pretty quickly. Make an athletics check to see if you can run and then slip through.
F: Can I do an acrobatics one instead, so like I’m trying to vault in like maybe…
B: Like a pommel horse routine?
F: No no no. Like what's a thing when you're…
F: A cartwheel. Just the space is closing, Johnny cartwheels his way into that space so it doesn't look like it closes.
E: Sure okay.
F: Good, cause otherwise that’s a negative -1. rolls 9.
E: Okay, here's what happens.
B: Oh nooooo.
E: You bob and weave around everybody, stealthily, but as you do like that cartwheel to actually get in through the space of the door, the door closes and you hit the door with a loud WOMP. You’re still invisible but everyone heard the WOMP and everyone turns towards a closed door.
F: I will stand at the door and lean on it as if nothing happened. Even then no one can see me., I'm still trying to look very cool.
E: I like it.
F: I'll do that until these people move away.
E You're standing perfectly still?
F: Yeah. I mean I'm leaning on it like I'm a cool dad?
A: and that is that hard acting like that?
F: No, it's my life.
E: Four of the city just kind of shrug and walk away. But Evan is still looking at the door. Johnny, what do you want to do?
F: So Evan’s looking right at me. I'm gonna cast of Dancing Lights to have four orbs appear actually in front of him, swirling in a circle, and then go out in a row to his left to try to catch his attention to go look at where they're like, kind of, leading towards.
E: Sure. Okay. What's your deception modifier. My deception modifier is a 4.
E: Okay I'll give you +2 to that because you're using your magic instead of using your words.
J: Ha! Crit 1!
E: Ooooh OK. So you conjure the dancing lights sure and you're pointing it farther away. And Evan says:
Eric (as Evan): Why is that... Johnny, is that you? *pauses* Johnny, you're the only person I know who does a whole lot of light stuff like, c'mon.
F: I think I’m going to have to kill him.
A: I think I'll be honest. I mean he's anti-Blackfish too.
F: OK. Johnny looks down disappointed in myself puts his hand on Evan's shoulder and whispers in his ear.
Fish (as Johnny): Do me a favor.
Eric (as Evan): Oh gee, hl hello, what's up?
Fish (as Johnny): Open the door. I'm concerned that members of the Guard are actually members of the Blackfish. I'm concerned about Alonzo safety. Please open the door with a distraction so I can go and take care of my ward.
E: Do another persuasion.
F: 16 plus eight. I can do that.
E: Evan reaches his hand out where he thinks your shoulder is, but misses. He says,
Eric (as Evan): Johnny I'm worried about the same thing. I'm telling you it’s not me, but it's definitely one of, one of the other four. I don't know how to tell which is which. But there's something going on.
Fish (as Johnny): Help me help you. Help me help you.
Eric (as Evan):All right. But do this quickly.
E: Evan opens the door very very quietly and stealth is possible.
J: I'm going to duck under his hand and sneak in.
E: Why don't you make a stealth roll - I'll give you advantage.
J: I rolled a 14 plus two.
E: Oh yeah, totally.
Hey, Amanda here. Ever been listening to a new song that you kinda really dig, and then halfway through it just completely changes its style to something you are even more into? And you not just have one new song to love, but two different but amazing versions of that song? This is that key change. Welcome to the midroll.
We had such a fantastic time at Podcon last weekend in Seattle! JTP listeners are, as we suspected, extraordinarily sweet and good-looking. Also, you all smell really really good. Every single one of you.
We led a workshop on building community and earning a living with your podcast. If that sounds interesting to you, you’re in luck! You can see all the materials we handed out, along with read our notes from the session, at bit.ly/podconcommunity. And if you registered for Podcon, either in-person or virtual attendance, you can listen to the audio from our session as well. We had a blast and we’ll definitely be there next year!
As the holidays creep up on us, we’re so excited to for our Patron cookie exchange. To get in on the next one, join us! For as little as $1 per episode, you get access to our Patron-only Discord and so much more. And a great way to support the show that doesn’t cost any money is to review us on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. That helps new people find the show, and more listeners means more JTP love out there in the world.
We are sponsored this week by 20 Sided Store in Brooklyn, New York. And we are back with our favorite Q&A segment, Master, Dungeon Master with Lauren Bilanko. Lauren is an experienced DM and game store co-owner here to answer any questions you have about games and gaming. This week’s question: "How do you handle developing and explaining the setting of a new city for your world?"
Lauren says: “Set aside some time towards the end of a session to introduce the players to the new location. Give them an opportunity to interact with it in some way to set the tone and the mood for the place. The following session, lay out a blank map, start with an outline of the new location and a couple key features that you want to be there. Then work with your players to draw in the rest of the details, allowing each player to add their own embellishments. If you would like a more controlled experience, prepare specific questions that you would like your players to consider ahead of time.”
Thanks, Master, Dungeon Master! Email us (firstname.lastname@example.org) with your gaming questions, and Lauren may answer them in a future episode. Find out more about her beautiful oasis of gaming goodness in Brooklyn, NY at twentysidedstore.com.
Now, let’s get back to the show.
E: Tombjorn is holding the tea set in his hands and he's walking very delicately towards the right, which is near like this like side small kitchenette.
B: So, as we rounded another corner, Tracey turns to Tom and says,
Brandon (as Tracey): Tom, how ya doing, bud?
Eric (as Tombjorn): You know, I'm fine. I need to refill the tea. That's what they asked me to do. And I'm going to do that.
Brandon (as Tracey): You know falling out of a boat can be a really traumatic experience but I'm glad to see you on your feet.
Eric (as Tombjorn): I mean I didn't. I landed on my back and then I started to sink into the water.
Until somebody grabbed me so, I guess, not really.
Brandon (as Tracey): I'm worried, I'm a little worried about you and your beard and but I'm glad that I could help you out and help save you from from whatever, whatever happened in the water.
Eric (as Tombjorn): You know, thanks. I'm going to keep doing the tea.
Brandon (as Tracey): You know what you can do for me though, now that we're talking about it. What's in the basement?
Eric (as Tombjorn): You know, basement stuff. Garage, storage area.
Brandon (as Tracey): Remember when you're about to go underneath the water to the bonefish. And I pulled you out of the water.
E: Make an intimidation check.
B: 19 plus three for 22.
E: Tombjorn stops and turns around and says,
Eric (as Tombjorn): afraid What are you... What do you mean, basement?
Brandon (as Tracey): They said they were pests and the basement.
Eric (as Tombjorn): Yeah, in the archives. Yeah. There's pests. It's bad, it's bad.
Brandon (as Tracey): What does that what does that mean, pests? Yes. You know people are eating paper down there.
Brandon (as Tracey): Eating paper? That can't be nutritious.
Eric (as Tombjorn): No, it's really, it's actually really bad. There are these moths that while they make people eat paper. I mean, they eat paper and then anyone, when you're around them, they start eating paper. There's a lot of it. Yeah it's pretty bad.
Brandon (as Tracey): How big is this moths? Have you seen them?
Eric (as Tombjorn): I mean, no. They won't let us down there. It's like an infection zone. No, no I haven't seen them. It's not they're not massive, it's, it's a lot of them. There's a swarm. I can, I can I go now. Yeah.
Brandon (as Tracey): Tom, I'm sorry for intimidating you. I just... I really I'm glad you're OK.
B: And I put my hand on his shoulder and I say:
Brandon (as Tracey): Sincerely, is there anything I can do for you. Can I get you some beard oil? I don't like to see you in this state.
Eric (as Tombjorn): No. Leave... Leave me alone. He quickly walks away.
B: I try to hug him as he's walking away and only get like a half hug.
E: And he pushes your arms aside and walks into the kitchen with a lock. You hear a lock on the door.
B: And I say:
Brandon (as Tracey): Bye bye, Tom, I'll see you soon.
E: Inara, where do you want to go?
A: I want to go to the guards’ break room. I want to see what suspicious stuff they have in their lockers or up on posters or whatever I can glean about the Blackfish stuff infiltrating.
E: Sure. Inara, you’re led by the three city guard into this kind of a basic looking room. I mean there's, like, halogen lights over and there's, like, a big table in the middle and there's like a few comfy chairs but you can see there like castoffs of things unlike other parts of the Capitol building. There's also a sign on the wall that says, “This is the Chill Zone. No work. Just chill.”
E: And there's yeah there's like some vending machines in there and there's like 10 lockers.
A: excited What are in the fantasy vending machines pretzels?!
A: Just preztels?
E; And like some cookies and like an apple. But it's like old.
F: Maybe should have gone to examine those. Maybe I could learn more about robomacy.
Eric and Amanda laugh
E: If you looked in the vending machines?!
F: Vending machine operator. Skill. Mikey. Yes.
E: imitating Tr8c: I’m Vending Machine VR8c!
Brandon laughs VERY hard.
F: That's where the food go! It’s the food thing! It’s the future! We found the future!
A: Oh wow. Tracey's been franchised.
E: And there's a poster that says... it's a bling dog pulling itself up. You like the cat ones where it's pulling itself up and says, “Hang in there.”. But instead, there's like a poof below the tree branch and the dog is like hanging up above it. And it says “Use your skills.”
F: Alt text: reach new heights.
E: Perfect. Yes, it says “Reach new heights.” No, I like this. Actually it's a dog that looks suspiciously a lot like Oatcake. And they walk you into the break room. Callie sits at the table and put her legs up. Valentine sits in one of the big chairs and then makes the sound of fire crackling. And Bob this Skrull just tries to get pretzels out of the vending machine.
A: Cool, I'm going to sit in one of the other chairs with Oatcake next to me and sort of sprawl back, legs akimbo, lelbows over the side of the thing and just be like,
Amanda (as Inara): “Bosses, man, am I right?”
E: Bob says,
Eric (as Bob): Man, he even, he even has middle management, you know. It's all just breaking breaking my back over it.
E: and Callie’s is like,
Eric (as Callie): Yeah, I could do such a much better job than you, Bob.
E: They are like laughing at each other like poking fun. Valentine keeps making like the sound of the entire audience is like laughing, like in a sitcom. And then it's like living with each other. And Callie’s like,
Eric (as Callie): Yeah so like, what do you need to know, what can we show that you can't get in Fidapolis, apparently.
Amanda (as Inara): You know, we're kind of a smaller team over there. Like I don’t have the break room, this break room is awesome. I love it so much.”
A: And I want to stand up and kind of just walk over to poster and like look at it and, as I'm talking, like the vending machine, I'm going to do a sort of stealthy investigation here and try to look for suspicious stuff as I talk. But I finish saying
Amanda (as Inara): “And you know, I just, how do you like make a team? How do you, like, take, you know, individuals, man and like make ‘em into a team, make him into a family? :ike what kind of bonding stuff you guys do outside of work?
E: Why don't you make a stealth roll?
A: Five plus six for an 11.
E: OK, I will let you stealthily fully look in one item in this room. If you want to look at another one, you might have the chance of getting caught but with you roll... if you want to look in one particular thing. So, there are those 10 lockers over there. There's the vending machine, there is like their person. So, give me something specific that you want to look into.
A: I want to either look for the Bonefish necklace or look for incriminating stuff in a locker and then look at that locker label to see who belongs to.
E: OK. You look at the lockers and there are 10 of them. The first five or the five who you already know: Evan, Callie, Tombjorn, Valentine and Bob the Skrull, in full name. Then there's Geneva, the half orc was eaten by the whale, who you murdered. Jamie, the guy who wants to do much murder. And then there are three who you don't recognize: there's Belto, Wilkes and Holly.
A: I'm going investigate Callie’s.
E: Great. So Callie and Bob get into a very long discussion about darts and how much they play darts all the time and there's like a running contest between the two of them. And while they're doing that a little distracted with each other, there's Callie’s locker. You surreptitiously open it. And inside is a whip, that is glowing a bright blue. There's just like a backpack with some personal items in there with some papers, and a notebook and there's a sandwich.
B: Take the sandwich. Take the sandwich.
F: creepily Join me sandwich-having, Inara.
A: I am going to take the notebook and put it in the back of my belt and cover it with my tunic.
E: You… roll sleight of hand.
A: Well, that's another crit one, fam.
E: Oh gee whiz. OK. As you have your hand on the notebook and about to grab it, Callie looks over to you and says,
Eric (as Callie): Hey, what are you... what are you doing there?
Amanda (as Inara): Oh I'm... I'm so hungry I am so sorry. I'm used to having platters of pastries when I meet heads of state. I don't know. That's how we do it Fidapolis -- not that I'm judging. I'm just anyway. I just got distracted by your sandwich, I’m so sorry.
E: Jesus. Make a deception.
A: Yeah, three plus three for six.
F: pained Oh no.
E: Callie looks at you and says,
Eric (as Callie): “Yeah, why don't you... listen, you're new here. And why don't you leave my stuff alone. If you really want a sandwich, just yeah, just take that one get out of my stuff.
Amanda (as Inara): So sorry, so sorry. I know exactly what you mean. What were you thinking about darts? Wait how? How can I beat my teammates when we go out tonight.
Eric (as Callie): No no no no no. You don't get to change the subject like that. Back away from the lockers.
A: I'm putting up my hands and walking backward.
F: Did you grab a sandwich?
Eric (as Callie): Sit over there.
E: She points to the other side of the table.
A: I sit there.
Eric (as Callie): If you want the sandwich, you can just have it. But I'm keeping an eye on you and you're going to sit right there and we're going to tell you the stuff that we do as guards. That's it. You're not going anywhere else.
Amanda (as Inara): That's what I came here for. Got distracted. This is what I want to know.
A: And I'm going to put my hands on the table where they can see them and have them like steepled in front of me and try my very best to listen.
E: Valentine gets up and makes the sound of a drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. It’s just like “AHHH I HATE MAGGOTS.” And jumps up, grabs the sandwich from the locker and tosses it over it to you.
A: I take it and say thank you very much.
E: They tell you about the rounds that they do. There's only 10 of them which is not that big for a city guard. But they say this runs a lot more like a government building or more like a security team. They also do whatever kind of the representatives ask them to do. They're like his personal body team. They're not like the KGB. They just like all work for him. They tell you about the rounds they do. They just like do some points around the city and they're actually really worried. Bob steps in at this point and ays like,
Eric (as Bob): Yeah, I mean we're, we're down to a whole lot of people. I mean, we lost like, I mean, the three of them were the only ones that came back and we sent six of us out there. So we're a little short-staffed so we're just kind of doing the best we can. I mean, we're not sending anyone over there ever again. That's very bad. I mean, someone is gonna have to go over there and deal with it. But it is not going to be me.
E: Callie laughs and says,
Eric (as Callie): Yeah, no, not me either.
E: And Valentine makes the sound of an alarm.
A: I'm going to like lean forward a little bit and be more genuine than I have been so far and try to kind of level with them and say,
Amanda (as Inara): So what… what do you do when you disagree with what your boss asks you to do? I… you know me, I like to, I don't know, I like to poke around, I like to look at things and I... I just don't know when, when is it okay to get a little creative with your orders?
E: Valentine opens their mouth and again does the drill sergeant thing, and says, “I don't know what I've been told, no one here is getting old.” Bob says,
Eric (as Bob): Yeah, you know, I told... I agree with you, I agree with you, Valentine. Listen, there are, he's our boss and we can't really do much about it. We follow orders because we're good, good guard people. I don't know. It's really not that complicated for me.
A: Anyone getting uncomfortable is like question?
E: Insight please.
A: Ten plus four for 14.
E: Bob seems pretty genuine about what he's saying, how he just kind of like follows orders and does whatever.
A: I want to focus on Callie.
E: Yeah, Callie stiffens a little bit and she likes snarls at you. So it could be one of two things: one, you're asking too many questions or she is just uncomfortable with that particular question. But she does not like that you asked that.
A: I'm just going to make my widest, most innocent eyes as possible. Just try to really put on the just “Askin’ here, someone help me, I new at my job” act. And then once again answering I'm just gonna say,
Amanda (as Inara): Okay thanks. Is it time to go find my friends?
Eric (as Callie): I mean, they're going to come back here and I guess they'll pick you up.
Amanda (as Inara): Cool. Can someone tell me how to play darts?
E: Bob says,
Eric (as Boby): Hell yeah, let's play some darts. I'm reigning champion, you want to take me on, new girl? Is that what you wanna do?
Amanda (as Inara): I like learn from the best, Bob.
F: How do?
E: Oh chello.
E: You're inside Representative Shields’ office.
F: What? Me?
E: You were V invisible. And Representative Shields is being just as coy with Alonzo as he was being before. And he says,
Eric (as Representative Shields): So, what are you really doing here? What was the reason? I know the speaker would only send out champion, one hero for the entire millennium to come together around unless she thought there was an actual reason. I'm doing just fine here.
E: Alonzo is just like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey, man, you know, that’s what they said before - is that you know you're having issues. I mean, half of your cities’ flooded, half not, a bunch of your guys got eaten by a giant. What was that?! And there was a whale, a massive bone whale! This is not a good things. Let us do something! Like we got it. We're... we're heroes. I can, I can… I’m magic E: Representative Shields cocks an eyebrow at ‘em. Alonzo’s like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, check this out.
E: And he shows him the medallion which is around his neck. He says.
Eric (as Alonzo): This thing is so powerful. I got it like I can take care of. I killed a bunch of dudes before I came. I defended yourself, they defended like the Kiko Castle, man. We got this, let’s take them down.
F: Can I just... I'd like to just ready a Sacred Flame just in case this guy does something tricky especially because Alonzo's being a big doofus.
E: That's awesome. Fine by me. The chain is all around Alonzo's neck. Representative reaches out and touches it and he says,
Eric (as Representative Shields): quietly I haven't seen anything like this before
E: And the medallion glows for a second and the representative moves his hand off, it burns off like:
Eric (as Representative Shields): ffffff-mmmmm. Ow. That's quite a magical item, you have there. Hm, I guess we're not dealing with the B team after all.
E: He walks back behind his desk and sits down he says,
Eric (as Representative Shields): Okay, champion, you don't want to deal with a pest problem, fine. I guess I have a much larger mission for you. Yeah, things aren't going great. You got me. Yeah, only a mission that would be befitting of a champion of your caliber. You'd be killing two fish with one stone. One, I need you to kill the Bone Whale. Two, I need you to kill the Blackfish. Two fish, one monster and one monster who is running through my guards. There's somebody here that I cannot trust and I need you and your ragtag team here to take care of it for me.
E: Alonzo stands at attention.
Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah, yes. Finally something we can do. Yeah punching, kicking all day. Yes. Hell yeah.Take care of one monster and one -- Who are the Blackfish? I did not -- no one told me that. Who is the Black... who is the Blackfish?
E: And at this point pretty much everything you know of Blackfish, the representative relays to Alonzo.
Eric (as Representative Shields): There's a bunch of guys running around who are trying to sacrifice members of the guard to the Bone Whale. I know, who would have thought of the monsters going to be the one who saves them all? I have lost two men to the whale already and even more to the Giant and I think they're related. If you can figure out who is the one who's Blackfishing around in my guard team, that would be quite lovely for me, thank you. Use your magic powers, please, and champion for someone.
F: Can I roll for insight?
E: Yeah sure.
F: 15 plus two for 17.
E: What you want to know?
F: I want to know if he's not letting on as much as he knows and there's like malintent in his voice.
E: I think the representative is being genuine about this. Everything he said so far is real. He thinks Alonzo is a doofus.
F: Sure. Who doesn't?
A: No one here.
E: But he's actually trying to make him do something for him.
F: Yeah and he is concerned.
E: I mean yeah. Like he's like a slimy mayor of a town.
E: even though he's slimy, he's still actually like trying the mayor.
F: Yeah, yeah.
E: that's what you're getting from him.
F: And I'm no longer preparing to cast him sacred flame on him.
E: And Alonzo’s like:
Eric (as Alonzo): Alright, yes. I'm going to get my team together, we’re gonna take care of this would take out the Blackfish, we're going to take out the Bonefish. I'm gonna do it, I’m gonna punch ‘em, I’m gonna kick them, it's gonna be great. Alright, won’t let you down, sir.
E: And Alonzo starts to walk out of the room.
F: I'm going to make sure I am just behind Alonzo.
E: He walks out and you stealthily walk through the door. He just stands, I guess he just stands out like right outside of the door and he's like,
Eric (as Alonzo): Where everybody go? Ummmm OK. Tracey? Inara?
F: Johnny face palms quietly walks towards the closet that he had originally cast invisibility on himself, dispels it and walks down the hallway.
E: laughing Yeah, Alonzo’s just about to say, “Johnny!” And you show up right there.
Fish (as Johnny): Heeeey, how was your talk?
Eric (as Alonzo): Hey, we got a mission! We got two mission. We're going to be great.
Fish (as Johnny): OK.
Eric (as Alonzo): Let me tell you, why don't we get everybody around. I'm just going to tell you…
Fish (as Johnny): I have no idea where they are.
E: Tracey, as you were walking back away from the guard room, you hear Alonzo’s shouting everyone's names.
B: Tracey thinks about it hard for a good couple of seconds.
F: Truly horrible options here.
Brandon (as Tracey): I could just bail now.
Eric (as Alonzo): yelling Tracey! TRACEY! Inara! We got, we got stuff to do!
Brandon (as Tracey): Alonzo, stop yelling.
Eric (as Alonzo): NO. Where are you?
Brandon (as Tracey): We’re in a state building!
Eric (as Alonzo): MARCO!
A: From the East Room, a bunch of dignitaries from a foreign land, talking about taxation on fruits versus vegetables, turn around and get really disturbed.
B: I walk up the hallway, despondent that I've answered the call of Alonzo.
Brandon (as Tracey): I'm here.
Eric (as Alonzo): Alright, Tracey! Where’s Inara?
A: Can I hear them?
E: Yeah, even with the door closed, you can hear Alonzo yelling for you.
A: How am I at darts roll?
E: Roll a dexterity check.
A: Six plus six for a 12.
E: Bob rolled 14. So you held your own but he edged you out by about 20 points.
Eric (as Bob): Hey, like I said, don't mess with the master.
A: That is correct. I didn't want to beat him at his own game.
E: Valentine opens their mouth and a whole crowd goes, LET’S GO TEAM.
A: Cool. So I will say,
Amanda (as Inara): Sorry guys, duty calls. Thank you again so much. Sorry, sandwich incident. Growing, boy. OK, got to go. Bye.
E: Callie just huffs at you and goes over to her locker to check it out, make sure you haven't taken anything, other than to the sandwich.
E: Bob says,
Eric (as Bob): Alright. I guess we'll see you later. Good luck doing whatever you have to do.
E: Valentine waves.
Amanda (as Inara): Thanks, guys.
A: And then I'll turn back the way I came to go meet up with the team.
E: Alonzo says like,
Eric (as Alonzo): “Alright, everyone, come here.”
E: He puts all of you in a huddle. He says,
Eric (as Alonzo): Guys, we have a mission. We're going to kill the Bone Whale.
Amanda (as Inara): Alonzo, we've been on the mission the whole time.
Brandon (as Tracey): You’re like 36 hours late, bud.
Eric (as Alonzo): Whaaat?
Fish (as Johnny): Let's go beat up some ghost fish.
Eric (as Alonzo): Nice. Let's do it. High five team!
E: And he puts his hand up for everyone.
A: Oatcake jumps up to try to get it.
E: Oatcake bumps Alonzo in the hand.
Eric (as Alonzo): Good enough. We're going fishin’, y’all!