27. Legends of the Divine Labyrinth I

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For six hellish months we twisted away / windin’ through mazes of hedges and mold / But soon the way’ll be truly unbound / Rolling down to the Hold

Dive into our ship combat mechanics, classes from Mage Hand Press, the countries of Verda Stello, and other changes we’ve made for C3 HERE!


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Cast & Crew

- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver

- Co-Host (Umbi), Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer: Brandon Grugle

- Co-Host (Chamomile Cassis), Co-Producer: Julia Schifini

- Co-Host (Troy Riptide), Co-Producer: Amanda McLoughlin

- Theme Song: Lyrics by Eric Silver, music by Brandon Grugle. Vocals by Brandon Grugle, Lauren Shippen, Julia Schifini, Roux Bedrosian, Eric Silver, Tyler Silver, and Amanda McLoughlin. Available for purchase here.

- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman

- Multitude: multitude.productions


About Us

Join the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who’ve never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign, a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, or marathon our completed stories with the Camp-Paign, a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.

Transcript

Eric: I remember a time before the Cascade dried up. Here in Verda Stello, the four nations of plant and bug people flourished and thrived. But the great waterfall that fed the land slowed to a trickle, revealing a vast Salt Sea and unknown islands. The only guide were the words of the 13 Dried Carvings. “The water will slow to fall, but the tides are turning. Find the Infinite Lake to replenish the world and discover the Salmon who will grant you a wish of whatever you desire.” This marks the beginning of the tide, as many Greenfolk hauled onto ships to find the Infinite Lake and maybe riches, adventure, excitement, and purpose along the way. And what exactly is a salmon? Is that a berry? That was 50 years ago, and the Tide rushes forward ever still. There are many stories caught on the wind between sails, but why don't we hear just one? Of a butterfly gunman with clipped wings, a ripened and explosive piece of produce, and a witch made out of tea. This is Join the Party Campaign 3, The Rising Tide!

[theme]

Eric:  It's a funny thing putting a hedge maze in the middle of the sea, because what else is going to have this particular sort of wishing, this [swishes] other than little shrubbery, manicured shrubbery? Arranged in perfect right angles, or maybe. How do they even make curves? How do you even do that? How do you turn a square into a circle? Math, I'm not asking you. Rea— in reality, that's crazy that you could turn a square into a circle. 

Brandon:  I don't know.  I think it's only a Verda Stello thing. They don't— they can't do that in real life.

Eric:  They definitely can't do that in real life.

Brandon:  No.

Eric: No, absolutely not.

Brandon:  It's too magic. 

Eric:  Yeah. The swishing of the sea air on manicured tiny hedge leaves is a very specific sound that you haven't— you don't hear anywhere else. Maybe it's what it looks like down there under the water, when seaweed is going this way or that, or when a clownberry fish is diving in between anemones, maybe that's what it sounds like. But up here? Very, very specific. 

Brandon:  Julia's least favorite fruit, a clownberry fish.

Eric:  Clownberry fish. 

Julia:  I hate them. 

Eric:  Yeah. It's like the sound of swishy pants like—

Brandon:  Yeah.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —like gym pants that you weren't allowed to buy because sweatpants are for the devil. 

Brandon: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Amanda (as Troy):  I never wanna wear clothes what distract from my bod.

Eric:  Thank you, Troy.

Julia:  Thanks for checking in, Troy.

Eric:  True. Thank you, Troy. Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy):  Yeah. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Wow, this is— this is stunning, actually. I know it's gonna, like, kick our ass in like 10 seconds but, like, beautiful. 

Julia (as Cammie): Now, Orello did say that it was like a museum, and I'm not really seeing the museum part of it yet, so I'm a little disappointed, but otherwise beautiful. 

Amanda (as Troy): Do they make museums what are empty and— and what you do is like— is the building the art? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yes, they do.

Julia (as Cammie): Sometimes.

Amanda (as Troy): Is that— is that this? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Maybe.

Amanda (as Troy): But it can hurt you?

Brandon (as Umbi): It's like— Troy, it's like— sometimes the— it's not what's in the book, it's the book itself that is the book, you know?

Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): Can I read it just by looking at it?

Brandon (as Umbi): Yep.

Amanda (as Troy): It'll save me so much time.

Brandon (as Umbi): I know. 

Amanda (as Troy): Damn. 

Brandon (as Umbi): I know. 

Amanda:  Troy writes something down.

Julia (as Cammie): Um, before we— before we go in, everyone, let's— let's have a quick gather around. Havana, you're in this, too. Group huddle. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Huddle. 

Eric (as Havana): I think it's like a— I think it's like a museum and that Orello and no one Orello would know would be caught dead in it. 

Julia (as Cammie): Oh, okay.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, Havana. Everyone you know told you can't be a male doctor because you're a man. So why let what they think get in the way of you learning something?

Eric (as Havana):  Troy, I'm really trying to move past this with my religion. We've kind of just like— I knew— you don't have to keep reminding me. 

Amanda (as Troy): You know, you're right. Me saying that you're a male doctor is part of the problem. 

Eric (as Havana): Yeah. Yes, Troy. Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): Thank you. Thanks, bruv. Bruvs correct bruvs, and that's really important to me. Sorry, Cammie.

Eric (as Havana): I'm just— I'm just trying to move on. If you keep bringing it up.

Brandon (as Umbi): Do you still have an irrational fear of mattresses?

Eric (as Havana): Umbi, I also— can— don't— I just need everyone to stop bringing up embarrassing things about me so I can move forward. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Eric (as Havana): Okay?

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, okay.

Eric (as Havana): Alright?

Brandon (as Umbi): No, that's fair. That's fair.

Julia (as Cammie): Can we— how about we all be nice to Havana right now, in particular, because of what I'm about to tell you, which is, my magic might be super wonky in here. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no.

Julia (as Cammie): I don't know.

Brandon (as Umbi): Why?

Julia (as Cammie): Um, so this is a Divine Labyrinth, and my magic is, hmm, not that. So—

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Julia (as Cammie):  —it might do weird counteract-y things and I just want to warn everyone in advance in case things get a little weird.

Amanda:  Can I notice what Havana is doing and how he's reacting right now?

Eric:  Sure.

Amanda:  What roll would you like? 

Brandon:  Oh. Amanda playing the game. I didn't even think about that. 

Eric:  Uh, Insight.

Amanda:  It's just an 8, unfortunately.

Eric:  It's just an 8?

Amanda:  Just an 8.

Brandon:  The dice not letting Amanda play the game.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  A gentleman's 8?

Amanda:  Flat 8, flat 8.

Eric:  Yeah. What are you— what are you— what are you looking for?

Amanda:  Do I sense any distrust coming from Havana toward Cammie?

Eric:  With— with an—

Amanda:  I wish I was proficient in bruvs.

Eric:  With an 8.

Julia:  Can Troy be proficient in bruvs? Can we add that to his character sheet, please?

Eric:  Yes. You can be proficient in bruvs, that's fine.

Brandon:  Nice.

Amanda:  Really?

Eric:  I don't think that this would give you more insight to your bruvs. I don't know if this will help you.

Amanda:  Alright. Well, I'm gonna add it to my character sheet anyway.

Eric:  You can write it down.

Amanda:  The 8 stands. The 8 stands.

Eric:  You can write— whatever you want. Yeah, the 8 stands.

Julia:  Solid, solid bruvs.

Eric:  I think you're really caught up right now. You know, like when your parents are really interested in saying the right pronouns?

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  You're really interested too much. You have to really think hard. 

Amanda:  Hmm. My whole forebrain is on not calling him a male doctor. 

Eric:  It's on— yeah, not calling Havana a male doctor.

Amanda:  Yeah. Okay. That's fair. That's fair.

Brandon:  That makes sense.

Eric:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amanda:  You know, it's— just got to repeat it, got to repeat it. And then when someone corrects you, say thank you, and then just move on.

Eric:  Yeah, you just move on. 

Julia:  Cool. I'm not gonna roll an insight because Cammie trusts Havana. 

Amanda:  Nice. 

Amanda (as Troy): Cammie, is there anything we can help you or like, if anything goes wrong, like is there something we can do?

Julia (as Cammie): Um, I mean, worst-case scenario, carry my body out. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, more, uh—

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, it won't— it's— we— we would, but it's not gonna come to that. Don't worry about it.

Amanda (as Troy):  Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. I— I didn't mean like, if I died. I mean like—

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh.

Julia (as Cammie): —if like, something tries to possess me— 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): —or like knocks me out—

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, okay.

Julia (as Cammie): —or that kind of stuff. I wasn't going to dying.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, it sounded like you did.

Eric (as Havana): Unrelated. Is everyone's will in the captain's quarters with the ghost? 

Julia (as Cammie): No, and don't go in there.

Eric (as Havana): So then where is it? In case we need to execute it. Or like you just want a roundtable what we all want to do when we die?

Brandon (as Umbi): When I die, I want ev— all the pirates to come and plunder my stuff. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Do— do we count as pirates? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, of course you do. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay, cool. So first dibs on Umbi's stuff. Got it.

Amanda (as Troy): It would be disrespectful not to, that's the rule of the seas.

Julia (as Cammie): Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. I obviously want to be laid out in the remotest corner of the Crags so my body can become soil for future terraforming.

Brandon (as Umbi): That makes sense. I like it.

Eric: Okay. Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): I haven't thought about it.

Eric (as Havana): No— no? Not a—

Julia (as Cammie): No.

Eric (as Havana): Do you— can you throw something out there just in case?

Julia (as Cammie): You can make tea out of me, I guess?

Eric (as Havana): Pretty good.

Brandon (as Umbi): Ooh.

Eric (as Havana): That's pretty good. 

Julia (as Cammie): And then you all have to drink it.

Julia:  Cammie makes direct eye contact with everyone. 

Julia (as Cammie): You all have to drink it.

Amanda (as Troy): Okay.

Brandon (as Umbi): Don't think this in a weird way, Cammie, but I— I do want—I do want to taste that tea.

Julia (as Cammie): You taste the tea of me all the time.

Eric (as Havana): I wouldn't drink— I don't know if I want to drink someone's body tea, but if that's the thing you want when you're dead, I'll— I'll do it.

Amanda (as Troy): There you go, Havana.

Julia (as Cammie): You’ve drank my tea before, that's okay.

Eric (as Havana): Is— is it all your body tea?

Julia (as Cammie): Sometimes.

Eric (as Havana): Oh.

Julia (as Cammie): I don't tell you which.

Eric (as Havana): I know— I— the trickery is the— is what's giving me consternation. Traditional Path ceremony, please. Cammie, you got it.

Julia (as Cammie): You got it.

Eric (as Havana):  Yeah. But like the stuff in the book explicitly.

Julia (as Cammie): Right.

Eric (as Havana):  Don't give me any of that playing guitar reform shit.

Julia (as Cammie): You got it. Nothing that Continuous Thankful would have done. Absolutely.

Eric (as Havana):  No, that's the opposite of what I said. 

Julia (as Cammie): No, he was a— a d-bag.

Eric (as Havana): That's— he—

Julia (as Cammie): Like a tea bag, but worse. 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, no. What's inside of the d-bag?

Eric (as Havana): Alright. I'm writing my— I'm gonna write my will out. I’m gonna be doing that. I'm gonna write it out. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. Alright.

Amanda (as Troy): Havana, do you have any like tips for us as a person who loves that stuff?

Eric (as Havana): I mean, I'm new kind— I'm kind of new to the whole thing. I think what Cammie is getting at, Divine Labyrinth is interesting. There's probably something going on in there. I assume it's Planter-related. I don't know what religious— I don't know what sect or maybe ideology then— they— that might have spiraled off from. Let's keep our wits about us. We might need to vouch for Cammie, we'll see.

Brandon:  Eric, can I roll a Religion Check to see if I've read anything or heard anything about like the Divine Labyrinth in relation to the Planter in my studies? 

Eric:  Sure. That sounds like a good thing. 

Brandon:  Or any of my Overstalk buddies.

Eric:  Sure, sure, sure.

Amanda:  He could have been a monk. We don't know him.

Brandon:  We don't know me. Well, I did get a 10 total.

Eric:  Cool. Maybe— I don't know, maybe this is out of character for Umbi, but maybe he wasn't really paying attention while Havana was speaking. 

Brandon:  That doesn't sound right. I don't know.

Eric:  No, that doesn't sound right. And, you know, your eye, you're like, "Oh, what a cool arch." And your eyes are drifting away. And then you see that there— on the wall, there's kind of like a — a full stone edifice, which is the entrance to the Divine Labyrinth. There's like big stone walls inside of this arch that kind of continues. It's cracked and has lichen and barnacles grown all over it because of the sea. And it's all eroded because of the sea air. 

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda (as Troy):  Just like home.

Eric:  Yeah. The same phrase is carved into these big walls, this big hallway that you're gonna have to walk through to go into the labyrinth itself. And here is what it says: "Our world germinated in three sunny days, growing and growing and the Planter’s gaze, the produce and shrub, the flora and bug, but in the twilight, some final seeds they had dug. If Greenfolk find themselves here, the danger is dire. You're a long way from home, and it's never been drier. A key in the sky, a key for a maze, a key that still hurts, a key with a gaze. We'll see which one’s left as you wind through your ways."

Amanda:  Whoa.

Brandon:  Ooh.

Amanda:  Ahhhh!

Brandon (as Umbi): Whoa.

Amanda:  Yay. That wasn't a guava bird. That was me.

Brandon (as Umbi): I know this— this— this poem was gonna bring us nothing but pain probably. But as— as beautiful as— it's just as beautiful as this shrubbery maze. Like, it's just— whoever put this together really knew what they were doing, you know?

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh.

Julia (as Cammie): I wonder—

Amanda (as Troy): Cammie—

Julia (as Cammie): I mean—

Amanda (as Troy): —are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Julia (as Cammie): What are you thinking?

Amanda (as Troy):  Can we read it, like, deeper?

Julia (as Cammie): So, here's a— here's an interesting thought, looking at this poem, and I just want to— like, let's— let's break it down, shall we? We could do a little poetry corner.

Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.

Brandon:  Umbi takes out a beret that he got from Aubergine.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Amanda (as Troy): Wait, if you read a thing you read already again, do you think you, like, understand different stuff?

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah. 

Brandon (as Umbi): No, I don't think so. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yo.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay. So there's four types of Greenfolk, right? 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): Produce, and shrub, and flora, and bug.

Julia:  And Cammie points to each of those on the wall in the poem. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Julia (as Cammie): But then they're saying that they were final seeds that had been dug. So maybe there's like other types of Greenfolk that we don't know about yet.

Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, that'd be tight.

Amanda (as Troy): Just like how there are four countries, but there are also people that don't live in any country.

Julia (as Cammie):  That's true.

Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe like— like the salmon is some other kind of Greenfolk that we just never met before. 

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.

Amanda (as Troy): What could it be, though?

Julia (as Cammie): I don't know. 

Amanda (as Troy): Like, what is that art—

Brandon (as Umbi): I don't know.

Amanda (as Troy): Is every fifth— is every other kind of Greenfolk the salmon Greenfolk?

Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe. 

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa. I don't know. It does say seeds, so it could be like even more than one additional type of Greenfolk. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): That'd be amazing. 

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.

Brandon (as Umbi): Maybe there's a whole other world and then— where— where the salmon is, is like a whole other place, you know? 

Julia (as Cammie): Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): It's amazing.

Julia:  Cammie takes out the glasses.

Julia (as Cammie): Alright. Let's read.

Eric:  Cammie, you pop the glasses on, nothing happens. You can't read anything because there's we— it's weird— some weird, old lenses that make everything— they give you a headache and make your eyes swim.

Julia:  Cammie takes the glasses off.

Julia (as Cammie):  I have a headache.

Brandon (as Umbi): So it didn't work then, I guess. 

Eric:  Cammie, take one point of psychic damage because your headache hurts you.

Julia:  Alright. Fine. About 49 hit points instead of 50. Boy, that was bad.

Brandon:  Eric, was— is the “They” in the second line intentionally capitalized? I'm just curious.

Eric:  Yes. That's the pronoun for the Planter. 

Amanda:  Hmm.

Brandon:  Ah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julia:  Hmm. Cool.

Eric:  So, yes, true close reading there, yeah.

Julia:  Good close reading, everyone. High five.

Eric:  Good close reading. I give you all participation points for this day in class.

Julia:  Yay. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, folks, I think the only thing left to do is— do this maze. But before we go in, I have a little— a little— a little gift, a little toast for you.

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Amanda:  Oh, yeah.

Brandon:  And Umbi is gonna pull out his most beautiful flagon.

Julia:  You have flagons now?

Brandon:  And the four little shot glasses, he's going to pour each one of us a Potion of Heroism.

Eric:  Ooh.

Amanda:  Ooh.

Julia:  What does that do?

Brandon:  And the effect is for one hour after drinking it, you gain 10 temporary hit points that last for one hour. For the same duration, you are under the effect of the Bless spell with no concentration required.

Julia:  Whoa.

Brandon:  Which means that whenever you make an Attack or Saving Throw, you get to add a D4 to the number rolled to that Attack Roll or Saving Throw.

Julia:  For an hour?

Eric:  Ooh. Hell yeah.

Julia:  That's sick.

Eric:  Alright. I will have to keep track of that, what's roughly an hour, but I will certainly honor that.

Brandon:  Tight. 

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Amanda:  Hell yeah. 

Julia:  Eric?

Eric:  Yeah, dude.

Julia:  Two quick questions. What time of day is it? Because I think we established, like, we slept and then we arrived.

Eric:  You definitely sailed through the night, so I would say morning.

Julia:  Okay. And then second question is like, I know it's a big maze. If we had to guess how big in terms of like square miles, what would we be looking at?

Eric:  Oh, good question. I mean, like, it's really fucking big.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  I— like a mile— more than a mile.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  I looked up hedge mazes before. Yeah, so like Barcelona's oldest hedge maze covers over 2,000 feet—

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —in total.

Brandon:  Seems like it's the entirety of this island, right?

Eric:  Yeah. I would say-- so more than a square mile for sure.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  I'll play it by ear. Not sure I'm gonna break this one out just yet. 

Brandon:  Cool. 

Julia: Yeah.

Eric:  I also want to say, if you want to try to check it out in some sort of way, I can tell you something more specific for what you're looking for. 

Julia:  Sure.

Eric:  But I'd be like, you are at the front of this thing, and you're like, "Wow, this thing is large." Especially— because you look at it and you're on ground level too.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  These hedges are stretching out in all directions, and eventually, it like touches the horizon, you can't see it. There is, though, like kind of dotted in your field of vision, is a tower, that—

Julia:  An observatory tower like in the middle of a maze?

Eric:  Yeah, there's like a tower that kind of busting into view, out of somewhere in the labyrinth.

Julia:  Cool. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  I would like to sniff the air. 

Eric:  Okay. 

Julia:  I want to do an Arcana Check and just see what the vibe of this maze is in terms of smells.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Like a wee pup. 

Julia:  [dice roll] Pretty good. That's a Dirty 20, 16 plus 4.

Brandon:  Hmm.

Eric:  Julia, it smells like pulling blackberries out of the bush. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  It smells both green, and sweet, and tart, and salty because you're sweating all over yourself, all at the same time. It is the sheer smell of creation in a place where people seem to believe in a monotheistic creator of the divine.

Julia:  Cool. These hedges gonna move on us?

Eric:  I don't know. 

Julia:  Don't give me that coquettish look when I ask questions. 

Eric:  I don't know. 

Julia:  Alright, alright. Cool.

Eric:  Buried inside of that, as kind of an undertone, is—you know when you— when you— when you rip out weeds also, you smell underground? 

Julia:  Yeah.

Amanda: Uh-hmm.

Julia:  Churned dirt. 

Eric:  You are literally unearthing this. You— there is an undercurrent of the underground. 

Julia:  Okay.

Brandon: A soupçon.

Eric:  A touch. A— a— a base note of this.

Amanda:  Like hedges have been peeling their roots out of the ground and walking around perhaps?

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Who can say?

Julia:  Okay, cool.

Eric:  Who can say what that— what that says?

Julia:  Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright, guys. So like we always say in the Crags, if you get separated, go to high ground or your mom, whichever is closer. So right now, our mom has Harold and Sil, we go back to the ship if we get lost or high ground, like that thing. 

Amanda:  And Troy points forward to the tower.

Eric:  Hey, Troy, can you make an Intelligence Saving Throw for me?

Julia:  What the fuck? 

Amanda:  [dice roll] Okay, well, I got a 19 plus 0, but I have Brandon's D4, so that's a 22.

Eric: Troy, here's what happens, Cammie and Umbi, Troy disappears for a second. 

Brandon (as Umbi): What?!

Eric:  Troy, you're standing on the top of this obse— on the top of this observatory, still with your finger out.

Amanda: I cast my gaze around very quickly, see if I can—

Eric:  Make— make a Perception Check. 

Amanda:  Yeah, I want to see any roots. Alright. Troy has never been up this high, I don't think.

Julia:  Famously in mountains and whatnot. 

Amanda:  Yeah, that's just a 6.  

Julia:  Okay. Yep, that checks out. That makes sense.

Brandon:  That's not good.

Eric (as Havana): Troy, this hedge maze is big. 

Eric:  And then since your arm is still outstretched, you then pop back to where you were standing.

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa.

Amanda (as Troy):  Uh—

Brandon (as Umbi): What was that?

Amanda (as Troy): I was very briefly on— on that tower, but I'm not gonna lie to you, my tum fell rumbling and I did not notice anything useful.

Brandon (as Umbi): I did it.

Julia:  Cammie goes—

Julia (as Cammie): Let me try.

Julia:  And points.

Eric:  Cammie, make an Intelligent Saving Throw, please.

Julia:  Okay. Well, let me— let me roll Brandon's D4, 'cause I don't think it's gonna help that much, but an 8. 

Amanda: Aw, tough.

Eric: Cammie disappears.

Amanda (as Troy): What— what?

Brandon (as Umbi):  Fuck. Cammie, why'd you do that? Goddamn it, Cammie.

Amanda (as Troy): Did that happen to me?

Eric:  And Cammie, you are now standing on the top of this observatory.

Julia (as Cammie): Whoa. How— how do I get back now? Okay. Do— do I just go alright, back? 

Julia:  Cammie— Cammie is still like—

Julia (as Cammie):  Alright, back!

Eric:  Hey, my friend, nothing happens.

Julia (as Cammie): Huh. Okay. 

Julia:  Can I see the entrance of the maze?

Eric:  Sure. Well, you got plenty of time, dude. Make a Perception Check.

Julia:  Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Alright. I'm good at perceiving things. [dice roll] That's a 19 plus 3 for a 22.

Eric:  For a 22? Okay. So first of all, the tower that you're standing on, yeah, I think an observatory is a good way to sense it. Much like the stones that you walked up. It's like all these stones arranged together with moss growing out of it. And there's like a little spire at the top with a telescope kind of poking out of it, but it's more of like a hat. 

Julia:  Uh-hmm. Fun. 

Eric:  Like it looks like a tower spire from the outside, because like with the slightly darker color roof, but it's more like someone carved a hole in a hut—

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  —and put a telescope there.

Julia:  Does it seem like somebody did that recently or does it—

Eric:  No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Julia:  Okay. Okay. Pretty ancient. Got it. Cool.

Eric:  Pretty— pretty old, pretty old, pretty old. There are stairs that are spiraling down the tower for you to get down.

Julia:  Okay.

Amanda:  Julia, never use spiral stairs again.

Julia:  Never again. Never again.

Eric:  Yeah, if you want to jump off, it's probably like three stories.

Julia:  I don't have a little hat like Umbi does. 

Eric:  No, you don't. No, you don't.

Brandon:  I know. It should have been me.

Eric:  With a 22, you are— oh, what am I doing? Brandon, Amanda, get out of here. 

Julia:  Oh. Get the fuck out.

Amanda: Oh.

Eric:  Get the fuck out of here.

Amanda:  Alright.

[theme]

Amanda:  Hey, it's Amanda. Don't you love that new arc smell? Ah, this episode is so good. Thank you so much to everyone who has joined the Join the Party Patreon over the last couple of weeks. Now, we are very busy dealing with our joken surplus, which I will tell you about in just a second. So we will thank you next week if you have joined in the last week because— here we go, guys, another reason to join the Patreon is you get 10% off if you're a patron at the $10 level or above, and that tier includes also ad-free episodes and party-planning video, and all kinds of other goodies. I mentioned that because through a hilarious series of mishaps, we've ended up with 100 Black Pearl Jokens instead of the three we ordered. So for a limited time, until you run out, because we are never making them again, you can get two jokens for the price of one. That's right. Every single order of a joken at jointhepartypod.com/merch will come with not only a gold joken, but also a black pearl edition. Now, we'll still be doing something special. We will still be giving away some highly limited edition coins in the future. But for now, we have about 48 too many tokens that we need to get rid of, so go on ahead to jointhepartypod.com/merch and get two jokens for the price of one. Now, remember when I said the merch discount, if you're a patron, patreon.com/jointhepartypod at the $10 level or above, you can also check your messages for a discount code. And if you don't have your code, just send us a message, we'll get you set up. This week at Multitude, it is a very exciting time because it is new member show week. That's right. We have a brand-new podcast here at Multitude that you should check out, because this is Big Game Hunger, people. Big Game Hunger is a weekly comedy show where Jenna Stoeber and friends craft the next big video game every episode. Starting with a randomly generated genre, concept, and vibe, Jenna and a variety of funny and game-obsessed guests will take these ideas far enough that they could pitch it to a shadowy board of rich investors if they wanted to. By the end of the episode, they'll have honed an IP so irresistible, you'll be ready to risk 25 bucks for it on Steam, okay? So get ready to laugh about games you love, learn about game trends, and yearn for titles that will surely never make their release date. New episodes every Monday, starting today, yesterday, October 23rd, this week. Guys, we're so excited. Look up Big Game Hunger in your podcast app, or go to biggamehunger.com. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, I know for me that there are lots and lots of times when my brain just won't stop talking to me, and I don't like it because I want my brain to be my friend. I want it to be my ally. And sometimes it feels like it's really working against me, which I don't love, which kind of sucks. And one of the ways that I cope with that is in therapy, talking about different strategies for talking back to myself, and for kind of rationalizing those thoughts, and making sure that I have almost a comeback for what I should say to them when the shoulds get to me. When all of those things about, you know, what I should do, what's good for me, all the ways that I could have taken care of myself better today, when all of that is like a monologue keeping me up at night, I have something to fight back with almost. And if you're thinking about starting therapy, but you're not sure how, try BetterHelp. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. So make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jointheparty today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jointheparty. We are also sponsored this week by Ravensburger. Now, Eric and I've been sort of sorting through and cleaning up the Multitude office recently, and he did just say to me a few minutes ago, "Amanda, don't you think this many puzzles is too many puzzles?" And I said, "You're probably right, but the ones I'm keeping are Ravensburger ones." Because you too can enjoy the timeless pleasure of assembling Ravensburger's extraordinary jigsaw puzzles. Not only are they beautiful, not only do they come in a range from a small-piece puzzle to over 40,000 pieces, they're made to last. We have Ravensburger puzzles in my grandma's house that I have been putting together for all of my three and change decades. And I know that I'll be holding on to the ones that are Ravensburger branded because they are high-quality. Now, whether you puzzle to kind of have like a meditative moment as a part of your like self-soothing or self-care, or you bond with family and friends by doing a puzzle together, I highly recommend you check them out. Now, go ahead and shop Ravensburger in your local game, or hobby store, or on Amazon today as Ravensburger, R -A-V-E-N-S-B-U-R-G-E-R. And finally, we would love to welcome a new sponsor to the show, it's Bodoni's Dungeon. This is the ultimate destination for TTRPG enthusiasts looking for unique and high-quality gear inspired by the game. Their shop is so cool. It is dedicated to providing you with clothing that's not only stylish and comfortable, but also reflects your love for D&D and TTRPGs generally. I got a sweatshirt from BodoniDesigns that is all the rage here in Brooklyn. I have worn it out a couple of times and gotten comments both times because it says Plus One AC on it. I didn't feel quite sort of ready to buy the hat that says Hot Girls Play D&D, but you know what you can. It is so nice they have all kinds of like cheeky, definitely, you get it, if you get it like the hat that says On a Side Quest or the shirt that says Doing it for the Plot. It's extremely good, but also like classy. And so if you look at most, you know, like D&D or TTRPG branded merch, and you're like, "Nah, not really my vibe." I think this one might be. And they have been kind enough to create a coupon code just for Join the Party listeners. So if you go to bodonidesigns.etsy.com, that's B-O-D-O-N-I, designs.etsy.com. You can use the promo code, the coupon code, JOIN THE PARTY for 10% off your purchase between now October 24th and November 24th. So one more time that's bodonidesigns.etsy.com and the code JOIN THE PARTY. I think it has to be in all caps, so just to be safe, put it in all caps, will get you 10% off your purchase through November 24th, 2023. And now, let's get back to the show.

[theme]

Eric:  Cool. Here we go. With a 22, this is not in the center of the maze, it's kind of like off a little bit to stage left—

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  —to audience right.

Julia:  Like the correct distance back, though. Is the maze like basically square?

Eric:  Yes, it's basically— I would say—

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  —basically square. I think if we divided it into nine squares like 1, 2, 3, A, B, C.

Julia:  Like tic tac toe, yeah.

Eric:  Yeah, you're in like C2. You're on like the middle right one.

Julia:  Okay. Here. I'm making a little map for myself. Alright.

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  Gotcha. Okay.

Eric:  And it's very— this thing is super twisty. It looks like it's square from the outside, but you see that the outside is just kind of edge, and there's twists and turns, squiggles everywhere.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  You do see close to the middle, there is a grove that is overgrown. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  Which you can't see into.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  It's far away, but it is roughly in the center of the maze, right?

Julia:  Gotcha. 

Eric:  And finally, with the 22, I will say, you see that there is— there's something walking around in the Divine Labyrinth.

Julia:  Okay. What section is it currently in?

Eric:  It's currently— I guess it would be in, like, kind of the bottom section.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Let's say A3.

Julia:  Closer to the entrance?

Eric:  Closer to the entrance in front of you, but it's in one—

Julia:  Gotcha.

Eric:  —of the— it's in kinda like the corner below you. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  From far away, you can't see a lot of the details.

Julia: Uh-hmm.

Eric:  But you noticed it has the head of a pumpkin seed. 

Julia:  Oh, my God.

Eric:  A big pumpkin seed head.  Its body— its humanoid body is made out of roots. I don't know if you've ever seen like in an anthropology exhibit, or in a body— like the Bodies Exhibit or like a biology class.

Julia:  Right, when you strip it down without the skin.

Eric:  And it's just veins, right? 

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  That's what it looks like with roots. 

Julia:  Oh, just veins?

Eric:  Just veins and it looks like that with roots.

Julia:  Ooh, spooky.

Eric:  But the thing you notice mostly, you don't notice that, because it's carrying a six-foot long scythe behind it. 

Julia:  Oh, sweet.

Eric:  That's dragging behind it and cutting into— airily into the hedges that it's walking through.

Julia:  Is it making its own path in doing that? 

Eric:  No, it's following the path. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  But this creature is not really paying attention to where the scythe is so some—

Julia:  Uh-oh.

Eric:  —so every so often it will just slice into a hedge.

Julia:  Okay. Alright, cool. And do I hear like the screams of citizens of Verda Stello every time that it cuts into one of those?

Eric:  You know, you might be too far away to hear that.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  But in—

Julia:  But like if I was close, would I?

Eric:  But interesting thought. It's an interesting thought.

Julia:  Hmm. I've read Ray Bradbury. I know what's up.

Eric:  There you go. Yeah, yeah. So that's what you see.

Julia:  Oh, and can I see— my most important question, can I see the entrance?

Eric:  You can see the entrance, yes. 

Julia:  Okay. Alright. So I can see kind of Troy and Umbi from a distance? 

Eric:  Yeah, yeah.

Julia:  Okay, cool.

Eric:  Cool. Okay, we'll hold here. I'm gonna see—

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  —if you guys could shout to each other, but I might kick you out later if needed.

Julia:  Okay. Yeah. 

Eric:  Okay. Cool.

Brandon:  Hello. 

Eric:  Hi. 

Brandon:  You look like Michigan J. Compass.

Eric:  Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Paparapa, parapapa.

Brandon:  That way! Um, real quick, Eric. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon:  How tall are these hedges?

Eric:  Oh, good question. Um, taller than you, certainly. I'm gonna say roughly 8 to 10 feet, like basketball hoop height, you know? 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  So like you can't see over them, but they're not incredibly tall. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  Cool. Hey, Troy and Umbi, you look up and you see that Cammie, far away, is standing at the top of this tower. 

Amanda (as Troy): See, I'm glad we talked about what happens if we get separated.

Brandon (as Umbi):  Yeah, it's a good point.

Julia:  Cammie does a big wave in the distance.

Amanda:  We waved back.

Brandon:  Can I do some, like, really bad semaphore to— to Cammie to be like—

Brandon (as Umbi): Do we go in? What— what do we do?

Eric:  We're sure gonna try. Give me a Charisma Check, my friend.

Brandon:  Okay.

Julia:  Uh-oh. 

Brandon:  9 plus 2 for 11.

Eric:  11. I think you can badly tell Cammie what to do. Here's what I'm gonna say. Brandon—

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —slack me what you want to say to Cammie. I'll reduce it to what Cammie can kind of— can scry from you. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Amanda:  Nice.

Eric:  So you guys— you can give the instruction that you mean, I'll interpret that as an 11.

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  Here we go. Okay. [laughs] This great. Alright, Cammie.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:   Umbi is kind of gesturing, like, into the maze.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  You're getting a lot of like, "Us in maze?" Shoulder shrug.

Julia:  Okay. Give me one second because I need to figure out directions that are 25 words or under because we're gonna use Sending, baby.

All:  Yay!

Brandon:  Is it only once— one message?

Julia:  You can send one back.

Amanda:  Now, Brandon. 

Brandon:  Okay, but it's not like a walkie-talkie, it's just like one message that's sent.

Julia:  No, it's once— one action.

Eric:  Now, Cammie, who are you Sending this to? 

Julia:  Troy.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Wow. Rude. 

Eric:  If only— I don't know. Maybe there is an example that Brandon can edit in here—

Amanda:  Recently, yeah.

Eric:  —of that happening and Umbi just kind of using Sending incorrectly.

Brandon:  I don't think there's any example of that.

[flashback noise]

Eric:  Umbi, you can respond with 25 words.

Brandon (as Umbi): [walkie-talkie] Oh, you know, just kicking a little asshole's ass real fast.

Eric:  It's 11 words.

Brandon (as Umbi): [walkie-talkie] Don't worry about me—

Julia (as Cammie):  What?

Eric:  15.

Brandon (as Umbi): [walkie-talkie] —or Orello. I got it.

Eric:  20 words. Ding, ding, ding.

Amanda:  Nice.

Eric:  And then you get an email back in your brain.

Julia:  Brandon, really?

[flashback noise]

Brandon:  Yeah, see? Nothing.

Amanda:  This is fun. I like making the show. 

Eric:  Yeah, it doesn't drag— good game, good game.

Julia:  I'm gonna send Eric this just to confirm it's exactly 25 words. 

Eric:  Cool. That is exactly 25 words, yeah.

Julia:  Beautiful.

Eric:  Yeah, you're good.

Julia:  So you— Troy hears Cammie's voice in their head, saying—

Brandon:  Here, I'll— I'll take my headphones off.

Julia:  Yeah, go ahead Brandon. Alright. 

Julia (as Cammie): [walktie-talkie] Grove in middle, stranger with scythe to right, avoid. Keep to left if you can. Try to meet in the middle or stay put?

Julia:  Question mark.

Julia (as Cammie): Love you.

Amanda:  Can you slack back to me Julia?

Julia:  Yeah.

Brandon:  God, I'm so excited to hear Troy's interpretation of this message, whatever it is.

Amanda:  And Julia, does my response have to be the same amount? 

Julia:  Yes. 

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  I can see what Amanda is writing.

Julia:  I'm so excited. 

Amanda:  Okay. Troy nods solemnly, makes eye contact with Cammie in the tower, and says—

Amanda (as Troy): [walkie-talkie] Thank you, my oldest and best bruv. Will go left and meet in the middle. If we look in danger, help us. Bye-bye now.

Brandon:  I took off my headphones for that, too.

Julia:  Okay, yeah. 

Amanda:  Alright. Troy turns to Havana and Umbi, and says—

Amanda (as Troy): Alright, Cammie have some good intel, there is a dangerous guy, one with a big knife to the right. 

Brandon (as Umbi): What?

Amanda (as Troy): So we should stay to the left of the maze. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay.

Amanda (as Troy): There's a grove in the middle and we're going to meet Cammie in the middle.

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay. Well, I mean, I was gonna suggest anyway, like anyone who knows anything about solving mazes, you just keep making left turns. That's how you do it. 

Eric:  Now, did Umbi—

Amanda (as Troy): Oh.

Eric:  —watch that on some sort of inflight video?

Brandon (as Umbi): Um, where did I watch that? I don't think it was in inflight video, but it was something similar. 

Eric:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julia:  Did you guys not all go to the Liberty Science Center and they teach you how to figure out a maze by keeping one hand on the wall the entire time? 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Alright. Amanda and Brandon, can you step out for just two seconds? 

Brandon:  Yep. 

Eric:  This would be— this would be very short.

Brandon:  Bye.

Julia:  Amanda is going to be pressed with her ear to the door.

Eric:  Julia—

Julia:  Hey.

Eric:  —I'm going to give you the full mechanics of how you're going to navigate the labyrinth. So as you attempt to navigate the Divine Labyrinth, describe what you do, and you're going to roll Survival.

Julia:  Great.

Eric:  On an 18 plus, you get two points, on a 15 Plus, you get one point, on a 14 to 10, you get one point but—

Julia:  Something go wrong?

Eric:  —you're in a bad place, like something— something happens. On a 10 or less, you get turned around. The name of the guy with the scythe is the Harvester. 

Julia:  Oh, fuck. 

Eric:  On a less than 10, you get turned around, the Harvester is one step closer to you, and I get to make a hard move against you.

Julia:  Shit. Okay.

Eric:  Okay? In order-- these points can be redeemed for wonderful prizes. You can spend one point to find something valuable or useful. You can spend two to find something valuable and useful. You can spend two to get a clue on where the Harvester is, if you can't see them. You can spend four to get a clue on how to defeat The Harvester. You can spend five to find an exit, get to the grove, or get the drop on The Harvester. 

Julia:  Okay. 

Eric:  Okay?

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Now, I'm going to tell these instructions again to Brandon and Amanda. They will be missing something, you cannot tell them. 

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  Okay.

Brandon:  Hello.

Julia:  Hello, guvna. 

Brandon:  Hello, guvna.

Eric:  The only way I could do this is knock on the window and Amanda looks so like, "What—what did I do?" every time I do it.

Julia:  Yeah. Other than yell— big yell, "Amanda!"

Eric:  Yeah, that would do that.

Amanda:  That would also scare me, probably.

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  Yeah, that one seems worse.

Brandon:  You should just get some kind of cute animal to send in front of Amanda's view.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah, true. True, true, true. Okay, Amanda, Brandon, Julia. 

Brandon:  What up? 

Eric:  Here is how you're going to navigate the Divine Labyrinth. This is based on that thing that I did in the Camp-paign with the Puzzle Cleric. It's based—

Amanda:  Hmm.

Brandon:  Oh, my best friend. 

Eric:  It's based on a similar thing, but this is adapted for a D20 system.

Julia:  Sick.

Eric:  As you attempt to navigate the Divine Labyrinth, describe how you do it, then roll Survival. On an 18 plus, you get two points. On a 15 plus, you get one point. On a 14 to 10, you get one point, but you're going to run into a denizen of the hedges or you're in a bad place. 

Amanda:  Okay.

Eric:  On less than 10, you get turned around, and the GM can make any hard move against you. You're— you can spend one point to find something valuable or useful. You can spend two points to find something valuable and useful. You can spend two points to get a clue on blank. You can spend four points to get a clue on blank. You can't use those two yet. 

Brandon:  Okay. 

Eric:  You can spend five points to find an exit, get to the grove, or something else, which you can't do yet. 

Brandon:  Okay. 

Eric:  The rules for the three of you is that these points are a pool for your group together. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Julia:  Oh, okay.

Eric:  So while Cammie is separated, Cammie can only do this for Cammie. However, if you all— all of you get together, you can pull your points together. For groups of people, you will need to switch off who rolls survival. 

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Brandon:  Okay, cool. 

Eric:  Okay?

Amanda:  I got plus 2.

Brandon:  I got plus 0.

Eric:  You all have to do Havana as well if you're bringing Havana with you. 

Brandon:  Yeah. What is Havana's survival?

Eric:  It's part of medicine, so he has plus one.

Brandon:  Oh, great. Okay.

Julia:  Alright. Sweet. 

Eric:  Yeah. 

Brandon:  And these are just straight-up checks, not a Saving Throw, right?

Eric:  These are straight-up checks, unfortunately, for your last, yes.

Brandon:  Cool. Yeah. 

Eric:  Yeah. So that's what you need to know.

Brandon:  Fun. Alright. I'm— I'm excited. 

Amanda:  We got this, Umbus.

Brandon:  We got this, Umbus.

Eric:  I will also need to keep you separated for the time being. If there are opportunities where y'all want to talk to you because you— like Brandon asked, if someone is standing on the— on this tower, you can see them from inside the labyrinth, you will be far away, and it will be kind of tough.

Amanda:  Okay.

Julia:  Yeah.

Eric:  Troy, Umbi, and Hava—and Havana, you can now enter the labyrinth if you'd like. Right now, it seems like your entrances are the front entrance and—but you can go to the tower if you'd like. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  What do you do?

Brandon (as Umbi): Well, friend— well, friends, should we get going?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I feel like we got to do it. And if Cammie ha— knows some stuff that we don't know and can help us out from afar, that seems smart.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah, I guess we'll just keep an eye on Cammie while we go and see if Cammie does any semaphore or whatever, so many hand signals.

Amanda:  Yeah, you don't put the whole crew in the crow's nest. Come on, the boat would tip over.

Brandon (as Umbi): No.

Amanda (as Troy):  Come on.

Julia:  The boat would tip over.

Brandon:  Would tip over.

Amanda (as Troy):  Whole boat will go right over. That's why you don't do it.

Brandon (as Umbi): That's true.

Amanda (as Troy): That's why they make them so small. Let's do it. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Alright. I think we should just start by going left— take left turns?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, left— left always.

Brandon (as Umbi): Keep— keeping our hand on the wall?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, I like that.

Amanda:  Troy is going to scatter sawdust behind them as they go through the maze. 

Amanda (as Troy): I got my pockets full of sawdust, I always do. Make the pants voluminous.

Eric:  You always have pockets full of sawdust?

Amanda:  Yeah. What if a bruv upchucks, you want to be polite, you want to put some sawdust on it, so the barkeep doesn't get mad at you.

Julia:  Eric, it’s canon now, you can't change it.

Brandon: Eric, that's up to you, bud.

Eric:  You can't just have— oh, I have sawdust the entire time.

Brandon:  That's so funny, though.

Eric:  Yeah. Okay. Alright. You know what? Roll a D10 for me. 

Amanda:  3.

Eric:  You have three handfuls of sawdust in your pocket.

Amanda:  Great. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Julia:  Great.

Amanda:  I'll use it at a important— important junctures.

Eric:  Important places? Sure. Alright, y'all ready? 

Brandon:  Yeah. 

Amanda:  We're ready.

Eric:  Let's do it.

Brandon:  I think, Amanda, you had the highest?

Amanda:  I have Proficiency in Survival, so I have plus 3.

Brandon:  Hell yeah.

Eric:  Cool. Before you roll, describe how you're going to begin this first dive in the labyrinth.

Amanda:  Yeah, Troy is going to gather his bruvs together, put our three hands in. We're going to say—

Amanda (as Troy): To get some keys.

Amanda:  And then stride confidently into the maze. Begin as you intend to end, you know?

Brandon:  Yep, we're gonna—

Julia:  I love that for him. 

Brandon:  We're kind of like— like— like, kindergarteners going to lunch. We're gonna like hold each other's belt loops or something.

Amanda:  Yes.

Julia:  My gosh.

Eric:  We're kids on a rope, walking with the rope. Yeah, no. Like that.

Amanda:  Alright. I got 10 plus 3 for a 13.

Eric:  13, one point. 

Amanda:  Wee.

Eric:  And— but something happened. 

Amanda:  Okay. 

Brandon:  Wee.

Eric:  Cammie, here's what it looks like from your direction, right? You're watching them, they wa— they go inside, they take a left and you're like, "Oh, I guess they're just immediately walking towards the rickety bridge over a— over a gorge that goes nowhere."

Julia (as Cammie): Oh. Um—

Julia:  Cammie tries to wave to get their attention.

Julia (as Cammie): Don't go that way. Don't— there's— that bridge! Bad bridge! Bad bridge! 

Brandon:  Does the bridge go to nowhere or is the gorge down to nowhere?

Eric:  No, the gorge goes to nowhere.

Brandon:  Okay.

Amanda:  Endless gorge, rickety bridge.

Eric:  Endless gorge.  You continue to left and then boom, [creaking sound] 

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, man, this bridge is as crickety as my bones.

Amanda:  Did we notice Cammie? Any chance we notice her?

Eric:  No, you don't notice her. I mean, maybe once you get to the bridge—

Julia: Yeah, alright.

Eric:  —you look up and see Cammie is waving her arms wildly, but no. The first— the first thing you do is you end up at this rickety bridge.

Brandon:  Is there other people taking turns or do we just go again?

Eric:  Well, first, you’ve got to decide if you want to cross the bridge. You can turn around, but I'm going to take your point away. But if you want to cross the bridge, you get to hold on to the point. 

Amanda:  What do you think, Brandon?

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, I mean, let's do it. Why not?

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah. Might as well. We're all gonna die one day. 

Julia:  Ah, team good roll gonna cross a rickety bridge. This is gonna end well.

Eric:  Havana is like—

Eric (as Havana): Hey, how deep do you think this gorge goes?

Brandon (as Umbi): I'm sure it goes to nowhere, Havana.

Julia (as Cammie): Forever! It goes forever!

Eric (as Maze): Hello. [echoes]

Eric:  And a voice comes back being like—

Eric (as Maze): Go away. [echoes]

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, should we listen to the voice? Is that the voice of like the Planter or something?

Brandon:  I think— if our in character, I think Umbi would be like—

Brandon (as Umbi): If the maze is telling us to go away, that's probably a good sign. We're going the right way, right? 

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah, because it'll want us to get to the middle. Alright.

Amanda:  And then Troy's gonna step first onto the bridge.

Eric:  [creaking sound] This is just— this bridge is covered in vines and lichen, and there's still barnacles everywhere. It's on the edge of the maze. It still gets a lot of that sea air, so it's like real— everything's like a little crunchy. Even the rope is a little crunchy. It is just like slats of wood arranged haphazardly. Some broken, some not, some rotten, some not, with two ropes across this gorge.

Amanda (as Troy):  Oh, I know what we need to do. We need to rely on the power of friendship.

Amanda:  And Troy's gonna have his necklace shoot an arrow across the gorge. 

Brandon:  Hell yeah.

Amanda:  Land in the ground, or if there's any like tree or hedge maze, I'd love to have it at kind of, like, you know, shoulder level, but—

Eric:  You can fire it into— I'm sure that it takes another turn—

Amanda:  The trunk of the— yeah, yeah.

Eric:  You can fire into the maze. Yeah.

Amanda:  Yeah. Cool. So I'm gonna have it anchor as a— a steady point and I'll go last, then.

Eric:  Incredible. Alright, folks, we're all gonna make some Dexterity Checks, but we'll do it with advantage. 

Amanda:  Yay!

Brandon:  Yeah.

Julia:  Yay!

Eric:  Some— just some back-to-basics Dungeons and Dragons here.

Amanda:  18 for Troy.

Brandon:  Well, Eric, I rolled a 17 and a 16. 

Eric:  Wow.

Julia:  Whoa.

Brandon:  So that is a—

Julia:  And I was concerned!

Brandon:  —19 total.

Eric:  [dice roll] I rolled a 4. [dice roll] Oh, and a 19! 

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Ooh, yeah.

Eric:  Havana is moving. You're putting all your weight on the rope, and you are delicately toe-stepping your way across this rickety bridge.

Brandon:  Hell yeah. 

Amanda:  Nice.

Brandon (as Umbi): You know, I know this— I know how to navigate creaks because the creaks are inside of me all the time, so I know, like, which way—

Amanda (as Troy): Oh, yeah.

Brandon (as Umbi): —to move with them, you know?

Amanda (as Troy): Whoa, that's nice. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah.

Amanda (as Troy): You've only said bad things about getting older, but that one's pretty good.

Brandon (as Umbi): Yeah. Did I say bad things about getting older? It's tight. No, you should get old.

Amanda (as Troy): Alright.

Eric (as Havana):  I think that's out of my hands. I don't know how much you can control that when you're out here.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, I'm not a doctor. I don't know. 

Amanda (as Troy):  See? See?

Eric (as Havana):   It's— it's a great point. 

Amanda (as Troy): See?

Eric (as Havana):  That's a great—that's a good point. I am a doctor, I can tell you— you can't—there's only so much you can control about time. Hey, here's a question, how— how long do you think you would get bored falling down a gorge that goes forever?

Brandon:  I think it would probably take the same amount of time that it would take you get bored anytime. So, you know, a couple of hours. 

Eric:  Would it be a thrilling— I guess— yeah. I guess a couple hours for sure. I— or I get used to it after like 30 minutes.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  Alright.

Amanda:  Or like a sitcom, like 22 minutes.

Brandon:  I mean, really, like, that's just— if that's just becomes your normal, then you sort of just get used to it, and you'd probably be able to sort of like live your life, you know?

Amanda:  Like sleeping, I'm probably flipped over to like my back, and then my belly, and then my left, then my right. 

Eric:  Sure.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Eric:  I think you just hope it comes back around.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Eric:  Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Eventually, you'll fall all the way back and then you—

Amanda:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  —stop doing that. Hell yeah. Alright, that's one point for the team. 

Brandon:  Woo!

Julia:  Woo!

Brandon:  Let's check in with Cammie. Cammie, how was that for you?

Julia (as Cammie): Very nerve-racking. I'm a little nervous for them, but you know what? They'll make it through okay.

Julia:  Do I get to go now? 

Eric:  Yeah. Cammie, what do you want to do? 

Julia:  Cammie's gonna look down at the maze in between the tower and where she knows the grove to be.

Eric:  Uh-hmm.

Julia:  And is going to take out a little piece of paper from her side pack and is going to start, like, kind of trying to sketch out an idea of where to go.

Amanda:  Hell yeah. 

Eric:  Alright. That sounds good.

Amanda:  Smart, dude.

Julia:  [dice roll] I got a plus 3 to survival and I just rolled a 15 plus 3 for an 18.

Eric:  Alright. I think you get a good enough sketch. I think it's just kind of for the space around— around the grove in the center.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  As you get close to the grove, you can have this map, this little thing.

Julia:  Okay.

Eric:  Which— but it's only about like that area, I would say.

Julia:  Alright, cool. Then I'm going to do that. 

Eric:  This is not you navigating the labyrinth, but this is you mapping out— you can map out the stuff around the grove, which will help you as you get into the labyrinth if you so choose. 

Julia:  Okay. So I'm gonna use this turn then to sketch a map of the space between the tower and the grove. And then my next turn, I'll probably have Cammie move.

Eric:  Sure. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Amanda:  Nice. 

Brandon:  No points.

Eric:  [dice roll] Let me— hey, Julia, let me just send you something.

Julia:  Uh-oh.

Eric:  Okay. Amanda, Brandon, cover your ears really quickly. 

Brandon:  Okay.

Eric:  You don't have to leave, just cover your ears. Cammie.

Julia (as Cammie): Hey.

Eric:  The Harvester is walking towards the party, navigating that bridge took a second, so the Harvester is gaining. Okay. Cool. Hey, so Troy did a Survival. Who wants to go next from the group of people? 

Brandon:  I think Havana does.

Eric:  Havana— Havana can go. Havana has a plus one. 

Brandon:  Yeah. 

Eric:  Alright. Havana has plus one to survival. Let's see how it do. 

Amanda:  Troy is thinking so hard about not mentioning the mattress.

Eric:  Havana says—

Eric (as Havana): I know— hey, I know you two don't really believe in it, but I think if I— since we're in the Divine Labyrinth, if I channel my, like, inner relationship with the Path— see, I'm good at navigating the Path of Cultivation, which is just more like walking through the maze.

Amanda (as Troy): We're, like, on the Path when you think about it.

Eric (as Havana): Yeah, it's like navigating a maze through a labyrinth. 

Amanda (as Troy): Whoa.

Eric (as Havana): And I think that my, you know, my relationship with—with, you know, my community and my religion will definitely help me figure this out, so just like give me a second. 

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay. 

Amanda (as Troy): Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brandon (as Umbi): I mean, we both believe in the Planter, so maybe the Planter is guiding your— guiding your hand here, your feet.

Eric (as Havana): Umbi, I'm trying to commune with the Planter right now, can you just like—

Brandon (as Umbi): Okay, I'm sorry.

Eric (as Havana): Can you just, like, ho— I'm trying to find my Path, please. Please, I just need a— I'm setting a boundary. I'm do— I'm setting a boundary. I think we should go this way. 

Eric:  And Havana, like, puts a hand out and, like, follows a curved line deeper into the maze, taking a right instead of a left. And I rolled a 17 plus 1, that's an 18. That's 2 points!

Brandon:  Woo!

Julia:  Yay!

Amanda:  Woo!

Julia:  I love my boy. I love my sweet boy. 

Eric:  That's 2 points. Folks, this team has 3 points.

Brandon:  That's true.

Julia:  Pretty good.

Eric:  You are schmoving through the labyrinth. Is there anything you'd like to do with those points?

Brandon:  Well, how do we unlock the blanks?

Amanda:  By spending something, or by getting further.

Eric:  You can— you can spend on it if you'd like. Maybe it's something useful, might help you unlock the blanks.

Brandon:  Hmm.

Eric:  Or at least give you a clue. 

Amanda:  Hmm.

Brandon:  So with the clues that we received, help us in our roll through the maze?

Eric:  You can tell me what you want—

Brandon:  Ah.

Eric:  —from the useful, the thing— the reason why I say it's valuable or useful, valuable can be. I don't know, piece of treasure.

Brandon:  Ah. Okay.

Eric:  Useful can be whatever you want, whatever you would find useful, and we can see—

Brandon:  No, I don't think you're gonna say yes to this, but one— one of those useful things possibly would be a map that Michigan J. Compass could reach? 

Eric:  Nah. No, I'm not going to give you a map. 

Amanda:  I think we should save up for five to find the grove.

Brandon:  Yeah, I think so, too. 

Amanda:  So we can reunite with Cammie. 

Eric:  Hey, you got— y'all can schmove towards the grove if you want. 

Brandon:  Yeah, I think so. 

Amanda:  That's my thought. 

Brandon:  Agreed. 

Amanda:  Cool. 

Eric:  Cool. Cammie, what do you want to do? 

Julia:  Cammie is going to set out into the maze.

Eric:  Yay.

Brandon:  Wee.

Eric:  Hooray. Alright. So now, y'all can't see each other. I'm gonna need Brandon and Amanda to step out for a moment. 

Julia:  Okay

Brandon:  Okay.

Julia:  Sorry, guys. 

Eric:  No, it's okay.

Julia:  I gotta get movin’ and groovin’.

Eric:  What's up, Cammie?

Julia (as Cammie): Hey.

Eric:  Hey. So you— were you— you're ready to go. You walk down the spiral staircase leading you down, and now you are in the middle of the labyrinth. 

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Julia:  I consult the map that I— I drew. 

Eric:  Yeah. It's like, "This doesn't help me immediately yet."

Julia (as Cammie): Okay.

Eric:  It's like you're at a point-and-click adventure, and you put it in your inventory, and it's just like sitting there. 

Julia:  Great. I think Cammie has a vague idea of which direction the grove is, and so is going to set out that way. 

Eric: Yeah, for sure.

Julia:  Alright. I'm gonna roll Survival. [dice roll] Alright, that is a 13 plus 3 for a 16.

Eric:  16! That's a 1, baby. 

Julia:  Alright, I'll take it.

Eric:  Alright, you get one point.

Julia:  Woo!

Eric:  You're— you're— you're making— you're making your way downtown. You're walking fast. Your pace is fast and you're homebound. 

Julia: [hums “A Thousand Miles”]

Eric:  Cammie, as you're walking through, you take a left and a right, a left, it just feels right. It just feels correct.

Julia (as Cammie): Just vibing.

Eric: Yeah. And it just opens up into a statue garden.

Julia (as Cammie): Beautiful. Orello said that this wasn't a museum, but now I think it is.

Eric:  Each of the statues are one of the four species of Greenfolk.

Julia (as Cammie): Oh.

Eric:  Almost in like these beautiful, idealized forms.

Julia:  Cool.

Eric:  Like they're all made out of stone, but it's incredibly intricate, like the arch outside. But of course like— you know, they're all wearing like robes and cloaks, and that's been carved into the stone.

Julia:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  So it almost looks like somehow the— it's almost like it's fabric. And of course, like all of these Greenfolk are just like the most beautiful versions of this, like, you know, big leaves, big eyes. The bug Greenfolk is like a beetle with the wings out and this— and this huge shell, and they're all muscular.

Julia:  And there's only four?

Eric:  That's a good point. There is a fifth one.

Julia:  And what is it?

Eric:  Well, there isn't a fifth one, because, you know, there's just a pedestal.

Julia:  There's just a pedestal?

Eric:  There's just a pedestal.

Julia:  Can I roll Arcana? 

Eric:  If you want Arcana.

Julia:  Hmm, maybe not Arcana. Maybe— hmm.

Eric:  You can roll a history for an old thing?

Julia:  Sure.

Eric:  Or Investigation if you want to check it out. 

Julia:  Or like insight on— oh, no.

Eric:  Insight is for people.

Julia:  Yeah, that's fair. Alright. I'll try history, it's not my best, but—

Eric:  Sure.

Julia:  [dice roll] 7 plus 1.

Eric:  As a bookish person, you know, there's— there's probably like a little plaque on it, so you're looking for the plaque, but there's nothing there.

Julia:  Damn. Alright. I file that away in the Cammie mental library.

Eric:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.  And there's an opening on the other side of the statue garden. 

Julia:  Alright. I'll head in that direction.

Eric:  You're— you're walking out of the statue garden, and you hear behind you—

Eric (as Invisible Voice): Witch's brood, why do you find yourself in the Divine Labyrinth?

Julia (as Cammie): Um, I seek the key to find the salmon.

Eric (as Invisible Voice): No one with tainted magic such as you deserve to even handle the key, or utter a word towards the salmon's ears.

Julia (as Cammie): Is it cool if my friends do that?

Eric (as Invisible Voice): Friends of a foul magician? 

Julia (as Cammie): No, they're pretty, like, chill, and I'm not like a foul magician. I'm just like, you know, a nice, little witch. 

Eric (as Cursed Child): That may be what you come across to those who don't know, but they'll find out soon enough.

Julia (as Cammie): I mean, I know what I'm about, invisible voice.

Eric (as Invisible Voice): As do we, the Cursed Child of Baba Rutabaga.

Julia (as Cammie): I mean, child kind of— well, actually, child doesn't imply that I have like a real strong connection to her. She did just like kind of cursed me and, like, I'm cool, just living my life without her.

Eric (as Cursed Child):  We gave you a mandate. Get out.

Julia (as Cammie): Working on that.

Julia:  And then Cammie keeps going.

Eric:  Wonderful. Alright, Julia, get out of here. 

Julia:  Alright. 

Brandon:  Hello, mate.

Eric:  Hello. Alright, let's see how many more points you get, Umbi.

Brandon:  Yeah.

Amanda:  Brandon, if you have ever in your life decided to roll an 18, 19, or 20, now's the time. 

Brandon:  I know. Here we go.

Eric:  Here we go. Survival check. What— what's your Survival Modifier?

Brandon:  Modifier is 0.

Eric:  0? Okay. Let's see what you do.

Brandon:  I mean, the thing that Umbi's gonna do is just kind of keep going through the maze with left turns, keeping his hand on the left wall. 

Eric:  Do you like— you take out a bomb and, like, start sprinkling the— the gunpowder on the ground?

Brandon:  I wouldn't waste gunpowder, Eric.

Eric:  No, you— no, you shouldn't. You shouldn't—

Brandon:  No.

Eric:  —never waste bomb stuff on it. 

Brandon:  I do briefly, just ever so briefly think about using— I think I know you want one of these shrubs. But it’s just--it's so brief, Eric.

Eric:  Just so brief.

Brandon:  It's so brief.

Eric:  So brief.

Amanda:  You could. I will if I’m in a pinch.

Brandon:  15, not bad. 

Eric:  Whoa! 15.

Amanda:  Not bad, bud.

Eric:  Alright, yeah. Take your one, take your one point.

Brandon:  Tight. 

Eric:  Take your one point.

Amanda:  Nice.

Eric:  Four.

Amanda:  Just one more, that's all we need. 

Eric:  Hey, can you guys make Perception Checks for me? 

Brandon:  We certainly can. 

Eric:  Yeah.

Brandon:  Another 15 for me total, 12 plus 3.

Eric:  Ooh, let's go.

Amanda:  Two, baby. 

Brandon:  Woo!

Amanda:  Getting my bad rolls out now. Yeah.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Eric:  Umbi, you're finding your way through the labyrinth. You're at a point in the labyrinth where it seems like everything is like cross-hatched.

Brandon:  Uh-hmm.

Eric:  It's like New York City streets. It's in a grid pattern. 

Brandon:  Uh-hmm. Not a very good maze at this point. 

Eric:  In the center area, there's a— you're walking through a part where there's a grid area, where it kind of like— it opens up and there are these ra— there are rows and— and you're looking around, you're keeping your hand on your left side. And in the corner of your eye, you think you see something.

Brandon (as Umbi): Huh? What?

Amanda (as Troy): Huh?

Brandon (as Umbi): Huh?

Eric:  It's a flash. Is there something— no, I mean, there's no one in here other than you.

Brandon (as Umbi): No, there's no one in here other than us.

Eric:  You think you see a creature following you, with a pumpkin seed for a head.

Brandon (as Umbi): [gasps] 

Eric:  A body made out of roots, but I don't think that that's the thing that catches your eye, because as you pass by a hedge and you look back, you think you saw the light of the afternoon sun, glinting off of a long, sharp harvesting scythe.

Brandon (as Umbi): Oh, no.

[theme]