Afterparty: Pool Party IX

Discussing multiclassing, makeovers, CRONCH, our new items, arcade stories, and more! This is the Afterparty, where we sit down after every episode to break down our game and answer your questions about how to play at home.


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Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver

- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle

- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin

- Johnny B. Goodlight: Michael Fische

- Creative Contributors: Connor McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, Heddy Hunt


(Theme music)

Amanda: Well, I had lots of notes about like beautiful character stuff, but I am just like a like a kid after a Slurpee and I just need to talk about this Dave & Buster’s. I can't. I have a penny board. I'm so excited!

Eric: Welcome to the After Party! I'm Eric, your DM. Here are my players-

Amanda: They know who we are! This is episode 20!

Eric: -who are very excited about what they got.

Amanda: They know who we are!

Brandon: I'm Brandon. I am not your DM. That's Mikey over there.

Amanda: Also not your DM. And I'm Amanda, usually not your DM.

Eric: And my players are really excited that they got to go to a Dave & Buster’s and get items.

Amanda: Which is apparently in a shack in a dirt field? Like what is with that entrance? I really support Mikey's theory that, like all Irish pubs or all Cracker Barrels, you walk in different entrances and get to the same place.

Eric: Yeah, that's canon. No that's canon.

Michael: That's canon? Anyway, Dave & Buster’s has that 5-5-5 Power Play deal.

(all laughing)

Michael: You can now go now, get a great deal, get a meal, get some free chips, get a free power card, and have a great time.

Eric: That's good.

Michael: I like Dave & Buster’s. I mean, it's expensive but it's fun. They have the worst, amazing alcoholic drinks. I have like a glass- it's like this big. Like what's this? Like two feet?

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Yeah like two and a half.

Michael: Like it was like a long island iced tea but like for crazy people! And I got-

Amanda: That's how they all are

Michael: Oh my gosh- you guys know me, and I still was like feelin' it. Like whoa! Off of one. It was like the most expensive drink in my life.

Amanda: Maybe for our one year anniversary we can go to Dave & Buster’s together.

Eric: I love it.

Brandon: Aw, that's cute. Did we spend any gold or did we get tokens from the representative?

Eric: The representative give you tokens.

Michael: I gave a 20 gold tip.

Amanda: It's important to tip your kreatures with a K

Brandon: I was going to ask about that. Kenku- is that traditionally like in the D&D lore like they're sort of employees?

Eric: In Dave and Bus- Do they work in Dave & Buster’s?

Brandon: Do they work in Dave & Buster’s?

Eric: No...

Amanda: TM, TM, TM, TM.

Michael: In the Grand Lore of the Unforgotten Realms...

Eric: Kiiiiiiiind of. I think kenku have a really limited skill set, like they are these birds with clipped wings that can't speak, so they can only do so many things. So a lot of- when people play kenku, it's usually like rogues or...Yeah it's actually just rogues and they can't really speak and they just like shift around and steal things.

Michael: I feel like a bard would be cool.

Eric: A bard would be inter-really interesting, like they only parrot back things that they've heard in other places.

Amanda: Mhm.

Eric: So I think that's just how it fit in my head. I know some people might do goblins or might do kobolds, like really traditional diminutive races, but we had so much fun with Valentine. I just really wanted to put kenku all in-

Brandon: That's what kind of made me sad is that Valentine seemed to have a higher purpose and then all of us buddies are...

Amanda: Right. I mean one of them had a construction hat on so he could be like an engineering supervisor. You don't know.

Brandon: That's true.

Amanda: Maybe the one in the fortune telling machine was an entry level employee.

Brandon: Maybe.

Michael: I gave them a 20 gold tip. That's pretty good.

Amanda: Mhm!

Michael: We undervalue gold in the D&D economy as adventurers.

Amanda: We as the four of us, or as adventurers?

Michael: The adventuring class of D&D players undervalue gold because we get so much of it. But in the real world prices of fantasy, gold's a lot.

Brandon: How many ice creams and brownies can you get with-

Michael: You could get a lot! Well isn't like a beer is like 20 silver or something?

Eric: Oh I actually have this right here.

Michael: You have this!

Eric: Um a gallon of ale...

Brandon: He's reading from his DM's screen, by the way.

Eric: A gallon-

Michael: Where-where'd you get that DM screen?

Eric: I got it from 20 Sided Store in Williamsburg, New York. Thanks, Lauren! A gallon of ale are two silver pieces, and a banquet per person is ten gold pieces.

Michael: I just gave this guy two banquets.

(Amanda laughing)

Brandon: You just like funded his wedding, like-

Michael: I mean listen-

Brandon: Him and his kenku partner are trying to find the funds to get married, and now they have it.

Amanda: Aw!

Michael: I got two great items for it. I'm all about it. To support anyone-

Amanda: Or they couldn't agree on who to cut from their guest list because it is really hard to get down to, you know and even 60 or something. And now they're able to add headcount of 2.

Brandon: (laughing) Yeah! Especially when you have to communicate that you're out of the wedding in mimicry. It's really hard.

Amanda: Yup, yup, yup. Nope, it's really hard. It's really hard.

Michael: I'm really interested if there's going to be any meaning to the fact that I heard a preacher with a southern twang talk about my religion that apparently only I know about. And now I'm concerned in a not great way because I'm going to have to like deal with this.

Amanda: Our DM is hidden under the table.

Eric: Oh look at this really cool thing on my DM screen.

Michael: I'm going to send the Shadow to just consume them.

Eric: Terrifying.

Amanda: I was picturing Rust Cohle from True Detective Season 1, when that scene where they're at like that white tent and the preacher is talking. It's framed very nicely.

Michael: I know that in a previous life I was a televangelist.

Amanda: Oh yeah.

Michael: I feel like it's a- it would be a calling for me.

Amanda: Yeah.

Michael: Not about the religion, just about like yelling at people charismatically and taking their money from them.

Eric: I want to say I appreciate the opportunity to rework the voice for Representative Shields.

Amanda: We're just gonna retcon on it don't worry.

Eric: After we did that episode and I spent so much time talking as this guy, I really felt like my accent was coming in and out, so I wanted to come back strong. And then I went way too far the other direction (laughing). So now he's Tommy Wiseau.

Amanda: Well despite the hilarity with which this episode ended- and I very much appreciate- we did have some actual genuine character moments in here. It was pretty amazing to just kind of like sit and watch and restrain myself from making dumb comments as y'all had actual kind of one-on-one really substantive moments. So Johnny how- how did that feel?

Michael: I don't have a shadow, y'all.

Amanda: Yeah!

Michael: I mean I knew, but-

Amanda: Yeah!

Michael: But I don't have a shadow!

Amanda: Yeah! And at some point the Shadow like reached it's long scary arm across the room, which I hate. I hate when limbs elongate. I hate that.

Michael: Yeah you were- you were scared of that.

Amanda: I was! I hid in my turtleneck.

Michael: What's your thought on the 90s classic, Space Jam? I was literally watching this today- the final shot.

Amanda: With Michael Jordan's horrible, stretched out-

Brandon: There we go, we got the answer!

Amanda: -limb from hell?

Michael: Answer received. I feel good. I'm still trying to figure out what's the dealio... oh yo... with the Shadow, so I feel yeaaah eh...

Brandon: Yeah that sounds- yeah that sounds about right.

Michael: I mean that's about like where I'm at. I'm still trying to figure out, you know, personally what Johnny feels. I'm trying to see how he feels. See what the Shadow is going to give me. I've like given Eric like some thoughts of like a direction I see this going.

Eric: I mean I think you got some valuable information. I think that the fact that the Shadow also believes in these two paths. It's like you're trying to overcome this thing and reckon with it. And also he was surprised that you were the only one who believed in the Undying Light still.

Michael: Well, that may or may not be true, but also for me, like it's weird that the only person talking to me or telling me I have to make a choice is the Shadow. Meanwhile, the Undying Light says nothing. Granted, you know your baseline is light only, no shadows, so I guess that's their stance. Meanwhile, the Shadow just wants to coexist? I don't believe in that. That's not true. Like the Shadow wants something. I don't want give it to them. I'm fine if balance is the answer, but I'm not fine if the Shadow gets more than 50 percent.

Eric: Interesting. Hey Tracey, how do you feel about being the 6 million dollar robo-boy?

Brandon: I mean I think most robots are probably on that price tag right? That's just like the base model price for a robot? Six million.

Eric: We've been talking about you multiclassing for a really long time. Months ago.

Brandon: Yeah! I-it's an open secret on this podcast that I'm not a fan of the barbarian class. I don't...

Amanda: (gasps)

Michael: I'm sorry... whaaaaaaaaaat?!

Brandon: I think- I think it's been good up to a point, especially like for simplicity's sake and getting into roleplaying and allowing like the mechanics to get out of the way, and I'm lazy a little bit, so I don't want to like learn a bunch of spells and stuff. But past level 5, it gets really boring, so I think the next step on my barbarian was another class feature. I'm "the way of the bear" or whatever. And I think the next step was like-

Eric: Owlbear.

Brandon: Yeah owlbear, but - was like: I can carry more. Like weight-wise. (Sarcastically) Cool. Thumbs up. So instead I really wanted to have this kind of be like a turning moment for Tracey in that he was confronted with the fact that Johnny died on him, and he's kind of been bouncing back and forth between his previous owner, solitude, and then Johnny, and he's never really like come into his own and like really relied on himself.

I think player Brandon thinks that's probably going to be good and bad in the way he's thinking about things now. But I think he's going to be able to fend for himself a lot, and now as we get further along this route of artificer, you're going to see a lot of cool gunslinging things but also a lot of really cool magic that's going to be involved.

Michael: And to clarify you're still level 5 barbarian.

Brandon: Yeah so just to clarify multiclassing is too- I didn't think about it. So it's really simple in practice. Instead of taking the next level on your current class- so instead of taking level 6 barbarian- you can take a level in a different class. So I took level 1 artificer instead of going level 6 barbarian, and there's some details we have to work out with like you don't take some of the like equipment and stuff like that, but that's basically it. You can do that for any level, so I can go up to like level 12 artificer and then switch back to get level 6 barbarian if I wanted to. Yeah.

Michael: Yeah. I really liked what you guys decide to do with the RP of it because there's a lot of D&D mechanical stuff that makes sense, but when it comes to RP how you handle it really frustrates me. One of which is multiclassing like, boom! Suddenly I go from warlock to I'm a paladin- like that's not how- you can't just do that. You've gotta explain. And the decision to spend several days working in an artificer's shop and learning, having that also happen to you. The good thing is-is that a big part of the artificer is like magic-infused projectile weaponry. You are magic infused to begin with.

Brandon: Right.

Michael: Add a weapon... bada bing bada boom-boom-boom.

Brandon: Yeah and I think it makes sense that Tracey wants to take command of himself in totality. Like he can now mend any broken wood or whatever. He has woodcarving, so you're going to see how he kind of deals with magic and spells, and that's going to play into it, so yeah.

Amanda: I thought it was really moving that he chose mending, because you've always been very caring as a character. But in terms of like Tracey on paper, it's a lot of destruction. You know? Like a lot of just strength and brute force, and lots of times your greatest utility to the group has been to go in to rage mode and destroy. So I got a little like verklempt when you said that- that mending was now one of the things in his repertoire.

Brandon: Yeah I think that's an important point. He also- I think he also just felt really useless in this last big boss battle.

Amanda: Mhm.

Brandon: Because I don't think I really did much, and that's not a great feeling. He's never really- I don't think he's really had that feeling before.

Michael: I mean you've been the front line for a lot of these things. You've been the first axe to strike Greg's leg.

Brandon: Yeah I think he's- he's just realizing there are now- that there will be big enough threats that he won't be able to react to them in his current state. But Inara!

Amanda: Yeah!

Brandon: Tell me about all the things and the stuff. (Amanda laughing) Are you scared? Are you part demon now? What's happening?

Amanda: Well I sure would like to know. I was carefree about killing until Oatcake growled at me. I'm really glad I have her. I don't think there would be an opportunity for- I don't know self-reflection or questioning my direction without her.

But um no I-I'm very confident that this is the direction I should keep pursuing in terms of the Assassins Guild. Seeing that pennant like it just felt like a victory thing. You like finished the level of a video game and I get to do a little like Mario star jump, like that's very exciting to me, and a little bit too, you know, I don't want to only have... what?

Eric: No, it makes me feel good.

Michael: He's happy because you literally did the thing at the end of a Mario level.

Amanda: I did!

Eric: You went up a thing and you grabbed a flag!

Amanda: I did, I did.

Michael: I just-

Eric: (yelling like Mario) ah-tahhh!

Michael: I hate this.

Amanda: I definitely don't want my only assassin cred to have been assisted kills. You know I'm glad that they identified that because that, you know, would be something that Inara would be a little bit like cagey about. But the demon stuff is scary, and dreaming to be the person that I killed is scary, and if I ever had the opportunity to talk to someone else and the Assassin's Guild, I would probably try to get some information out of them about- without trying to ask the question directly- like how do you feel? What happens? Like do you dream about the person? Do you ever talk to them? What is the afterlife? You know these are questions that Inara has never really faced.

Brandon: I also just think it's interesting that Eric chose for Oatcake to realize this, because there's a whole that whole lore about dogs being able to see ghosts.

Amanda: Oh yeah. 100%

Brandon: Yeah. Interesting.

Michael: I have like many thoughts and headcanon- I think in the last After Party I talked about my thoughts on this and it just continues. What is that ooze that infused with your shadow cowl?

Amanda: Yeah.

Michael: Does that mean that that's just that specific kill? Is it every kill? Are you going to start to gain- like it's actually in other like video games or RPG systems- elves can eat parts of a creature and then gain some of that power or gain some of the access of their memory.

Amanda: Yeah, I know what you mean though. Like being able to kind of glom powers of people that I killed sounds like a great reason to kill people, but you know it sounds like uh- it sounds like it would be really intriguing.

Michael: I believe she's the anti-Adamah. (Amanda laughing) We should destroy her.

Amanda: So far it seems like the guilt or fact of this killing is slowly eroding my sanity, so I wouldn't worry too hard yet.

Michael: (quietly) Until it becomes that you accept it and then you kill all those around you for the pow-ah.

Brandon: It's becoming really interesting in that Inara and Johnny becoming more and more diametrically opposed.

Amanda & Michael: Yeah.

Brandon: And it's becoming more and more real and practical as we go on, and Tracey is now taking on this role of - like I have like Detect Magic and Identify which means I get to like touch an item or person and figure out what their magical energy is. So is just like middle ground that I'm breeching with magic but it's neither infernal or positive or whatever it is. And there's this really... I don't know. I'm interested to see how it's going to play out, but I think there's definitely some walls being built and barriers being brought down between the team.

Michael: Unless, you know, Johnny goes full shadow.

Amanda: With all the love in my heart I say that if Tracey is our like adjudicator of right and wrong, and like our voice of reason and stability and sanity and balance- I think we need to reevaluate our choices.

Brandon: I think it's a good thing though. I think it's good that Tracey is now saying that he gets to determine his moral code now.

Amanda: Yeah, no for sure.

Brandon: He's not relying on anyone else's moral code anymore.

Michael: I wasn't making you believe in the one truth of the Undying Light.

Brandon: He still believes in the light.

Michael: Okay as long as you do. That's the important part.

Amanda: And most importantly of all I'm now an actual skateboarding teen. So (Eric laughing) from whence do these perfect items come? I know that my birthday is in 2 weeks, so I super appreciate that you thought to give my fictional character a gift as well, and just from all three of you I really just feel the love.

Brandon: Did you actually ever skateboard? Did you have a board ever?

Amanda: A little bit, but Connor took the skateboard and was better at it, so he longboarded more than I ever did. From whence did they come?

Eric: First all shout out to Julia and Connor, who helped me out a lot while coming up with these items. I made a general items table for when you put the yellow tickets in, and then I made a personal pan-pizza item table for when you guys put purple ones.

Amanda: Aw

Eric: It's a little -it's a little more complicated than that but, yeah. I got a bunch. I want to fill in the spaces that you guys- you guys went but I'm really excited about all these.

Brandon: So I assume you can reuse these tables further.

Eric: Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, these tables are going to stay for a long time, and hopefully we'll get to a lot of them. Coming up with items, I pulled from the internet, I pulled from both Xanathar's Guide which has a lot of really cool new items and both the DM's guide and then I kind of modified it a little bit. We just came up with ones that I just thought was cool and then put D&D stats on them. Yeah, man I'm just really, really excited about this table.

Brandon: I also really appreciate that you are continuing this trend that it's this like idea of ceremony behind gearing up essentially, like kitting up like, the first time we got it was the ceremony with Speaker Martensen and now it's this like- there's a reason behind the thing which I really appreciate.

Amanda: Yeah me too.

Eric: I think it's harder because we don't traffic in economics as much. You guys have gold, but like haven't really bought all that much to be honest. So I think that if we trade in- I guess like experience truly- like I've got to give you experience if you're going to give me experience. So here you go: the physical manifestations of cool stuff that you guys get to do.

Michael: And Eric always is asking us if there's a specific place we want to go in these kind of in-between episodes when we're wrapping things up- if we have something we want to buy or something want to get. And for the most part I feel like none of us have like asked for something specifically because we enjoy this kind of almost randomness that we've been getting because-

Amanda: I wouldn't even think to ask for a skateboard!

Michael: I mean this actually happened earlier in the market when we went and you got the punk rocker thing, and then Inara got the marbles, like we've been getting random items for a while now and it's just been fun. Like I don't want to ask for anything I wanna just receive. I just want gifts give me gifts.

(all laughing)

Michael: Give me gifts. Give. Me. Gifts.

Eric: Well, I- listen we'll see. I don't know if we're going to do this every arc, or maybe it comes more, maybe it comes up less, but I like- I really like your canon, Fish that it's like-

Michael: Thank you

Eric: That it's like a place that you can access from many different places, and all adventurers use this as a reward.

Michael: I feel like Döove & Böoster's might be the biggest arcade and adventure area and play zone that exists. It's probably underneath the entirety of the continent.

Brandon: It's its own plane for sure

Michael: It's its own plane.

Amanda: Oh yeah! It absolutely-

Michael: Just done, that's the answer!

Eric: I was really thinking that it's a demiplane of games.

Amanda: I mean it's a long slide into darkness, soooo...

Michael: I honestly assumed that that door was a dimension door and you were sending us to a random like Pleasure Island dimension.

Eric: We'll see. We'll see what happens.

Michael: Maybe next time we go to the water slide in the water section. Or after that the Winter Olympics section.

Amanda: You know.

Eric: And then Epcot.

Michael: Ooooooooh!

Brandon: Ooooh! That's the best part of Disney World!

Michael: (singing, to the tune of “It’s a Small World”) boop-ba-da-boooo- It's a small... Döove & Böoster's after all-

Amanda: You're just practicing your covers. I really appreciate this.

Michael (still singing): - It's a small Döove & Böoster's after all!

Amanda: Oh how about the food wine festival? I want to go to that.

Brandon: Tickets are really pricey, but yes.

Michael: Drinking around the world is the way to go.

Amanda: Oh yeah. It's very serious.

Eric: I have a whole bunch of questions for us to answer for the After Party. Are you ready?

Michael: Sí

Amanda: Heck yeah.

Eric: This one-

Brandon: Wait... (pause) yes.

Eric: Good. I'm so glad I had to wait for that. Good. This is from Noelle. Noelle asks: If the party had favorite snapchat filters, which would each character choose?

Brandon: Tracey doesn't have snapchat.

Eric: Is Brandon- Brandon doesn't have snapchat or Tracey?

Amanda: Predictable.

Brandon: Maybe.

Michael: Didn't they do one where it was like the little hot dog, but it was a little robot dancing?

Eric: They did do that. You could put ARG a little robot.

Brandon: Yeah if I were to make one like I would have one where you could put food in your mouth and then something come out of your... slot?

Michael: Oh gosh this is horrible! This is awful!

Amanda: Ahhh!

Michael: You- don't. Don't do that.

Eric: Good, you can pitch that to snapchat and they'll probably buy it because they love awful things.

Brandon: Great.

Michael: Tracey's would just say- it's a simple text one that says "beep boop" over their head.

(Eric laughing)

Michael: You know, that classic Tracey saying.

Eric: Good, Tracey classically says "beep boop.”

Amanda: I'm trying to decide if Inara would like the dog filter or not because either yes and she can match Oatcake a little bit, or no because that dog is nowhere near as cute as Oatcake is. So I think Inara would go for the scariest filter.

Eric: Or Inara does the puppy filter with Oatcake.

Amanda: Oh I see.

Eric: So then you're both puppies and then Oatcake is puppy on puppy.

Amanda: Okay yes that's probably it.

Michael: I mean something light related. I've seen so many that are-

(Eric laughing)

Michael: -like there's one- I feel like it happened a long time ago. It was like paparazzi flashes of light and you got those sunglasses. That would be Johnny.

Eric: Nice. I think Alonzo's really into face swapping.

Michael: Ugh, of course.

Brandon: Yeah that sounds about right.

Amanda: Typical.

Michael: What would Stoneface's be?

Eric: Oh man. Stoneface like paid like ten dollars like for his own like- he made his own snapchat filter.

Amanda: Oh my god.

Eric: And it's just "Living it up with Stoneface!" and it's just him taking photos throughout the castle.

Amanda: If we ever do a live show we're definitely getting one.

Eric: Oh absolutely. This question is for Michael Fische only.

Michael: Hi there!

Eric: This is from Lucy. Who would each character main in overwatch?

Michael: Well Tracey would obviously be Bastion- although no! Tracey would be a Reinhardt.

Brandon: Yeah!

Michael: Yeah, Tracey would be a Reinhardt with the shield but then also like running into bashes his hammer and then Inara would be Tracer.

Eric: Yeah.

Michael: Because you know moving around acrobatically flip teen.

Amanda: Sounds pretty badass. I'm in.

Eric: Playing it canonically gay.

Michael: So Johnny obviously would want to be Mercy because there's so much light-related stuff happening, but nowadays it's probably Moira because it switches from light and dark. Especially because her attacks have this kind of Eldritch Blast look of just energy of light and dark that I imagine Johnny's Eldritch Blast looks like.

Eric: I like it.

Michael: How is uh Stoneface looking?

Eric: I think Stoneface would be- who's the gorilla?

Michael: Winston.

Eric: Yeah would he be Winston because he's like, "Yo look at this- look at this very hairy character! I'm going to be that guy!"

Michael: Yeah 'cause he would stand out.

Amanda: Would Captain Alex have an analog?

Michael: Oh... no I don't know.

Eric: Captain Alex would be Doomfist.

Amanda: ...What is Overwatch?

(all laughing)

Eric: All right. Let's move on. Okay, Katie asks- Oh sorry “Three Elves in a Trenchcoat”- You guys change your names so many times, I can't even keep track of. This one's for me. What system of measurement does this world use? Imperial? Metric? Some mysterious and magical one that my kitchen scale doesn't have?

Brandon: I Included this on the doc because I think you answered it on the Discord but I wanted to give you a second chance to do something weird and magical, like inventing your own system.

Eric: Sure, yeah. Metric. Metric is weird and magical because everything is in tens! I love it! But I do want bushels to still be a unit of measure.

Amanda: Oh yeah.

Michael: Or stone!

Eric: Yeah stone and bushels are now commonly used.

Amanda: And like a league.

Eric: A league. A league of what?

Brandon: Of their own.

Michael: No they're like-

Amanda: Like 20 leagues under the sea, my dude!

Eric: Oh God.

Amanda: You're such a bad English major.

Michael: I was with you, Amanda, and then Brandon said that, so now I'm sad.

Brandon: Because it's a great movie you're sad?

Michael: No it's...

Amanda: It is a great movie. Very gay

Michael: (muttering under his breath) No it's not... it's a great movie. At least it's not something like "bladorps" and 10 bladrops equals one "quaffah.”

(all laughing)

Eric: Yeah if we did that - if we did something like- (laughing)

Amanda: Michael Schubert of the Potterless podcast would agree with you. Fucking galleon? Sickles? Knuts?

Eric: (yelling) I was literally just gonna!- Oh godddd!

Amanda: Scooped ya, DM!

Eric: (yelling) You scooped my fucking joke!

Amanda: Scooped ya! ba-ba-bang!

Eric: Ugh! Okay Isaac has a question: What is each character's favorite holiday? Does Johnny have special plans for the solstice?

Amanda: Wouldn't Tracey love like Independence Day or Unification Day or something but there's fireworks? Like I think that would be, you know, kind of up his alley.

Brandon: Well, fireworks yes. I don't think he is like fully patriotic or anything you know what I mean.

Amanda: No, no, but because they have fireworks.

Brandon: That's a good idea. I also like any of the winter holidays where you receive gifts wrapped in wrapping, because the idea of unwrapping a thing to discover a smaller thing inside of a thing-

Amanda: Oh yeah that's very good.

Brandon: - is very up Tracey's alley.

Amanda: I hope they don't have Easter in this fantasy universe, but if they do the idea of going on an Easter egg hunt- Brandon's eyes just got so wide!

Brandon: He would melt!

Amanda: He would. He would just melt.

Michael: Bombilate egg hunt!

Amanda: Aww!

Brandon: He would push children over to get to the eggs.

Amanda: Yes, yes he would.

Eric: I have to invent a holiday now where there is- discovering things in small places.

Brandon: Smaller things inside of bigger things.

Amanda: Oh yeah. It's delightful. It's the best. I think Inara- I imagine they have some kind of Thanksgiving-esque holiday. Some kind of family togetherness or family heritage type day, and that was probably a kind of big feast day celebration, exciting time back with her clan.

Michael: And I think Johnny, as much as he would like the Summer Solstice and the longest day of the year, you know nighttime is just another opportunity to cast light.

Amanda: Hell yeah.

Michael: So I think he would celebrate both of the solstices.

Amanda: Yeah. Winter Solstice right?

Michael: Because that's just a good time, I think. Because Johnny would just be shooting- that would be the fireworks time. That would be just like brightening up the sky as much as possible for Johnny.

Amanda: Yeah. And every day thereafter it gets lighter outside for longer.

Michael: Yeah!

Amanda: I have a question for the group. I want to- I want to cronch.

Eric: (sighs) All right. This is a question for me.

Brandon: (singing loudly) I wanna cronch!!

Amanda: Squad!

Eric: This is a question for me-

Brandon: (singing louder) I want to crooooonch!!!

Amanda: Squad!

Eric: I'm over- I'm overriding this. Welcome to "Cronch Squad" a podcast within a podcast where I tell Amanda to stop eating fucking dice.

Amanda: (quietly) But I just wanna eat them.

Eric: This is a question from Eric: Amanda! stopped trying to eat dice.

Amanda: Guys but- but look at them...

Brandon: Amanda, how many dice do you think you can fit in your mouth?

Amanda: Oh. Okay- would be a choking hazard people please don't put dice in your mouth, but.

Michael: There's a really good Key and Peele sketch of him just putting so many marbles in his mouth.

Amanda: (giggles) I probably could fit a good- how many are right here Fish? You think like 70? I think I could fit like 40 dice in my mouth.

Brandon: You think 40 dice?!

Amanda: Yeah, I do.

Brandon: This is a video content waiting to happen.

Amanda: (laughing) but, no you look at dice and they just look like beautiful little candies for you to eat! I wanna eat them!

Brandon: What would be your preferred color of dice to eat? What's your favorite Starburst and then tell me your favorite dice color.

Amanda: Pink or orange. And probably yeah like pink-red just some kind of vibrant, like Mike-and-Ike color.

Brandon: Good. Good, good, good.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: Yeah. I go for the like the glass-looking ones where you can see through them, you know? and they have like hues?

Amanda: Oh sort of like pineapple, dragon fruit...

Brandon: Yes! Yes, exactly!

Amanda: ...Lychee?

Brandon: My favorite sour situation.

Amanda: I know I like anything red flavored.

Eric: This is so bad.

Brandon: Mikey?

Michael: So, any. I'm a big just like dice-

Amanda: Yeah.

Michael: - fan. People take my dice, so I've just started like just putting them in my mouth and eating them a little bit.

Amanda: Uh huh, uh, huh, uh huh.

Michael: And then putting them down, so basically if you've ever touched one of my dice...

Brandon: So, so JTP fans, be on the lookout for a video where we compare and compete to see how many of us can fit how many dice in our mouths.

Amanda: So, step one we need to invent a business that makes gummy D&D dice.

Brandon: Those exist, actually.

Amanda: D&D ones or normal ones?

Brandon: D&D.

Michael: D&D yeah.

Amanda: Ooh!

Brandon: I think they were on Etsy is where I saw them.

Amanda: Revision: step one we have to buy some. Step two we have to do a contest.

Michael: Better than gummies, chocolate ones. I used to buy these chocolate dice as gifts to some of my players. They're really good.

Brandon: I'm going to go gummies because I think you'd be able to fit more gummies in your mouth than chocolate

Amanda: Oh yeah you can squish em.

Brandon: Yeah you squish em.

Amanda: But the chocolate would start to melt though.

Michael: But you can roll the chocolate ones.

Brandon: That is true. What about marshmallow die?

Amanda: Oooh.

Brandon: Do you think that's possible?

Michael: I mean you can get like a d6 for sure.

Amanda: Yeah.

Michael: It's just after that you're going to lose some stability-

Brandon: Are they all d6s so they're just-

Amanda: Eric is shaking his head so badly.

Eric: I hate this so much. I hate it.

Amanda: But Eric, you like eating and you like dice.

Eric: I don't like those two things together.

Amanda: I think you're just un-enlightened.

Brandon: Have you tried it?

Eric: No. I don't think anyone should try it because they die.

Brandon: You don't know that.

Eric: Or they'll hurt themselves.

Amanda: (singing) I wanna cronch!

Brandon: Squad!

Eric: No cronch. No cronch.

Amanda: Anyway I think d4 looks the most delicious. What do you think? d8 looks pretty good too.

Michael: I really like the d12 just in general. I think that's for me the most aesthetically pleasing.

Amanda: Yeah there's like a good flat surface to bite into.

Michael: Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.

Brandon: I'm really into the d10 because you get two like triangular points so you can like squish, you know?

Michael: Ooh!

Amanda: Ooh that's true.

Brandon: Squish into a flat plane. I'm very into that.

Amanda: Yeah.

Michael: I'm just worried that with d20 you know they're almost too circular.

Amanda: Yeah, too much. Those will be good as chocolate. You could bite them in half.

Brandon: Yeah. It could be filled with something.

Amanda & Michael: Oooh!

Brandon: Yeah.

Amanda: d20 truffles!

Brandon: yeah!

Amanda: love it.

(dice rolling)

Eric: I rolled a 6 for constitution and I want to die.

Amanda: Move it on.

Eric: Great. All right. This is from Schubes. He says, "Which dice is your favorite?"

Brandon: I'm glad you asked this question!

Eric: No way, no way, no way. We're not doing this question! No!

This is from Katie- "Katie's Delivery Service" on Twitter. If your dice could talk, whose voice would you want announcing both your crits- successes and failures?

Amanda: Laurence Fishburne.

Eric: Oh good- that's a good one.

Michael: The WWE announcer like, (in WWE announcer voice) "Let's get ready to rumble!" Like that but it would need to think of something clever for what he would say for a fail.

Amanda: I want Mischa Stanton to announce all of your dice roles.

Michael: They basically announce all my fails.

Amanda: That is true. That is true.

Eric: Oh I want Guy Fieri to do mine.

Brandon: I just want Martin Freeman because I just love Martin Freeman.

(all laughing)

Brandon: This is my answer for any question of anything film or movie related- it's just Martin Freeman. I just- I just want to be friends with Martin Freeman.

Eric: Oh wait no I want um Little Big Town to do mine.

Brandon: Who's the guy that voiced the Iron Giant?

Michael: Vin Diesel?

Brandon: Was that Vin Diesel?

Michael: Yes!

Amanda: Did Vin Diesel voice the Iron Giant?

Michael: Yes!!!

Amanda: Wow.

Eric: Another reason why Vin Diesel needs to come onto our podcast. Also David Boreanaz, if you're hanging out just come on our podcast.

Brandon: I wanna change that out. David. David is my answer.

Eric: You want David Boreanaz?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: Okay. All right.

Michael: No bones about it.


Amanda: (disapprovingly) mm-mm.

Michael: He's a true angel.

Amanda: I was just going to do that. Damn it.

Brandon: Did you guys watch the series finale of Angel?

Amanda: Yeah.

Brandon: It was the most disappointing series finale.

Amanda: I know, I know.

Eric: Hey that's why it was called Pool Party because the Bone Whale lives in a pool.

Amanda: Oooh!

Eric: This is our third arc- the end of our third arc and our 20th episode! Man, I'm really happy with the way that we've really started to build out this universe and the story. I think we're making really good progress with your character development, everything that's happening. I hope that the stories and the lore behind the concentric states are unraveling a little bit. You have more questions, maybe a few answers and you know, we're just going to keep moving.

Brandon: I also want to say like this is- this is the end of three arcs, this is 20 episodes deep, and we already have the most- sincerely- the most amazing fanbase ever. And I just want to say thank you guys so much for listening and I hope you continue listening. And this is so exciting for me personally and I'm sure that all three of you guys, but the show wouldn't be anywhere without you guys. So thanks for listening.

Amanda: Absolutely. We've been planning this show for close to a year at this point. This episode’s coming out in mid-February and we started planning kind of around that time last year, and it's just- it's so exciting to see this thing that we had dreamed and worked really hard on put into the universe. I can't imagine Eric having the joy and burden of also like thinking of all this stuff. And I mean I think it's a mark of like the job that you are doing, and the help of everybody else who's giving you input- all the sources of inspiration that you use, that I just come in and I'm like, "Oh yeah like this is the universe." Like this is what we're playing and like, of course there's you know these two cities on the sides of a river- one of which is ruined and there's a giant who quotes Shakespeare- like it just immediately to me is so easy to just accept the world for what it is and to like dive deeper into it. But, you know, you're putting a lot of work into it and I think episode 20 is a really good time to stop and say thank you and I love doing the show. And I love playing in this universe, and I love Join the Party.

Brandon: Yeah. Thank you- all three of you as well. Like yeah.

Michael: Aw, shucks, thanks to you too.

Brandon: It's amazin'

Eric: Well thanks guys.

Michael: I know it's like part of like the Patreon reward that we have this Discord. But when I'm having a bad day like it feels like more of a reward for me to look back at what has been said all day.

Brandon: Totally, yeah.

Amanda: Yeah.

Amanda: I don't need to make money from the show ever because we know- we have this ability to just talk about like the best and dumbest and most sincere and most adorable things, like people show us pictures of their dogs napping and like it's just- I can't.

Michael: And like from cookie exchanges- we're at two now- to like yeah the pictures of the dogs! That's- for me, 'cause I miss my dog, and so I get to just like- I don't post much on that because I don't live with my dog anymore but I get to look at all the puppies and all the animals and go like, "Aw! Animal friends.

Brandon: And like people supporting each other and career changes, and...

Michael: Oh my gosh!

Amanda: Yeah. Real stuff.

Brandon: Yeah it's amazing.

Eric: You're all (sighs) yeah man you're all great. I've got to say every time- we have a story spoilers and speculation channel- and nothing makes me happier than that thing. Heating you guys listen the thing that I'm coming up with and like talking about the actions and reactions that y'all players do- it just warms my heart that this is going out to all of you and that you're listening and care about it and thinking about it. Man.

Brandon: Also I may or may not have taken some good ideas from that channel.

(all laughing)

Michael: And also the people who talk to us and interact with us on Facebook, through e-mail, Twitter-

Amanda: And Tumblr!

Michael: I obviously enjoy Tumblr folks-

Eric: The Tumblies! The... party... the party tumbles.

Michael: Tumble parties?

Eric: Rum-rumbles. The rumblers.

Amanda: The tumblers? The tum-tum...

Brandon: This might be one of those times where we brainstorm and it just doesn't come.

(all laughing)

Amanda: I think we all deserve a little bit of a rest. All right?

Michael: A long rest?

Brandon: I'll take a long rest.

Amanda: Then it's onto the next arc.

Eric: Everyone get your spell slots back.

Amanda: Woo!

Michael: Woo!

Eric: See you later.

Amanda: See you next time.

Brandon: Bye. Bye, guys!

Michael: Undying Light and Shadow be with you.

Amanda: Ooh!

(Theme music)