17. Pool Party VI

With Alonzo on the case, the party pursues the Blackfish in earnest. Can they find the turncoat inside the city guard before the Bone Whale emerges again? Tracey looks to the future. Johnny holds in a sneeze. Inara commits.



- Twenty Sided Store, the best indie game store in Brooklyn. Get 20% off your online or in-store order with code JOINTHEPARTY.


Find Us Online

- website: jointhepartypod.com

- patreon: patreon.com/jointhepartypod

- twitter: twitter.com/jointhepartypod

- facebook: facebook.com/jointhepartypod

- instagram: instagram.com/jointhepartypod

- tumblr: jointhepartypod.tumblr.com

- music: brandongrugle.bandcamp.com


Cast & Crew

- Dungeon Master: Eric Silver

- TR8c (Tracey): Brandon Grugle

- Inara Harthorn: Amanda McLoughlin

- Johnny B. Goodlight: Michael Fische

- Creative Contributors: Connor McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, Heddy Hunt

- Multitude: multitude.productions


Amanda: Last time on Join the Party...

Eric: The party get their meeting with Representative Shields. But they don’t last long before they get kicked out of his office.

Eric (as Rep. Shields): I do need all of you to wait outside. This is official business and I do need to take care.

Eric: Inara goes off to gather information from the guards’ breakroom...

Amanda: I am going to take the notebook and put it in the back of my belt and cover it with my tunic.

Eric: Roll sleight of hand.

Amanda: (Gasps) Well, that's another crit one, fam.

Eric: Johnny sneaks into the Oval Office...

Michael: I would like to cast invisibility on myself.

Eric: Where he overhears Alonzo promise to make things right in Antopolis.

Eric (as Alonzo): We're going to take out the Bonefish. I'm gonna do it, I’m gonna punch ‘em, I’m gonna kick them, it's gonna be great.

Eric: I love it when a plan comes together. Let’s get the party started.

(Theme music)

Eric: As you make it back to the Giant Mistake you walk inside and Alonzo is in a frenzy. All of the hungover teens are still there. So he's getting them all to like prepare stuff for him, like some of them are putting food together in sacks others are shining his shoes and packing up his bag and he's directing them all quickly pointing like a semaphore captain. Hephaestus is filling up a very large tankard. No, when you look at it again it's a very large bucket of Gatorade that he has on tap.

Amanda: Is that a special flavor of wine?

Eric: No it's Gatorade.

Brandon: Would Tallahassee like that?

Michael: Or would Tallahassee produce that?

Eric: Yeah Tallahassee was very into Gatorade. Write it down. Alonzo sees you all come in.

Eric (as Alonzo): All right. Yes, we're good, we're going to do this. We're going to save Antipolis. Just like I said we were going to do. We are going to go over there. We're going to get, we're going to kill the bone whale. We're going to set the giant straight and we're going to do it all right now. So you guys. Pack your things, ten minutes let's go.

Brandon (as Tracey): Hey Alonzo.

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon (as Tracey): Do you actually know how to do any of those things or?

Eric (as Alonzo): I mean we can figure it out. No one else knows, but we can do it. I mean Representative Shields has told me everything we needed to know. I mean we got our team together and we got it. We got it!

Amanda (as Inara): What what did he tell you?

Eric (as Alonzo): Let's see. He told me that the giant was helpful to them and going a little crazy. And the bone whale is bad. And a big big monster that we can punch in the face. Representative Shields said I could punch the bone whale in the face just so you know. And he also gave me some stuff to help us out. We have, we've got two ships that we can go across the river with like two boats, canoes, they're like rowboats. We have two rowboats to get across. And he even gave us some extra help. He said we can send over two of the city guard if we need if we need extra bodies.

Brandon (as Tracey): I don't think we do need that.

Amanda (as Inara): I think we need one and his name is Evan but other than that that's pretty much it.

Brandon (as Tracey): The Ev-Meister.

Michael (as Johnny): I'm also a little concerned that several members of the city guard were killed by the giant, and they couldn't do anything to stop it. Maybe we should focus on the Blackfish because they seem to be stirring up trouble in town and that seems a little more our speed and honestly going against the bone whale with such meager preparation will not keep you safe.

Eric: Alonzo is thinking about that for a second.

Eric (as Alonzo): OK. Here's everything I know about all of these things. I studied all the stuff you know with James, I was very good at studying. And here's what I got. If the giant right, the giant charms people. And then he turns them into stone. So if we just resist that, we should be fine and we'll be okay with that. So that's one.

Brandon (as Tracey): Do you remember that you were charmed?

Eric (as Alonzo): Yes. That's why I know that.

Brandon (as Tracey): OK. Just pointing out the flaw in your plan.

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah, we can tie ourselves to each other, like with rope, and we will be fine. Okay so that's one

Amanda (as Inara): that's really smart when we have a big warforged with us that can probably walk all of us over toward the giant if he's charmed, just saying.

Eric (as Alonzo): I mean that would be, I mean a little then we can all work together I'll be fine. We got it, we got it. Two, everyone knows that the bone whale only comes out when it rains and if you look outside. He gestures out of the window. It is perfectly clear so if we make our move right now like in the next few like 10-15 minutes we can get over there, won't deal with the bone whale. The giants obviously having some sort of mental breakdown we can deal with that and we'll be fine

Michael (as Johnny): But, not to put another wrench in your plan. It seems that the weather here changes unexpectedly just on a whim as it did the last time when the sky was clear and we started crossing the river and then the bone whale appeared. So you're describing two things now that happened last time and you're expecting it with no extra prep for it to go differently.

Amanda (as Inara): And we are not going after the source of the problem we're going after the symptoms. If we don't decapitate the Blackfish they can bring the bone whale back.

Eric (as Alonzo): Well OK. You've just giving me a bunch of reasons why this thing won't work. Do you have any other plan? Because if not I think I'm the leader of this expedition here and we should go with this one.

Michael (as Johnny): We actually do have a plan. There's an ex-member of the guard who was sacrificed to the Blackfish who's given us some information that could lead us towards more members of the Blackfish and hopefully help us deal with the bone whale as well.

Eric (as Alonzo): OK so your idea is to trust a zombie because that's what you just said is that he was dead and then he wasn't.

Michael (as Johnny): Right now he's the only lead we have that changes the equation from what happened last time. I have no problem trying again against the giant and against the whale but without the help of someone new. We would not be doing anything different and we would just be repeating the mistakes that the city guard made in the past and we made in the past. So why don't we try to at least talk to this guy again see what his plan is? We know that he is a bit temperamental but...

Brandon (as Tracey): A little murder-y

Michael (as Johnny): With your guidance, you can probably keep his cool. And together we can find out the root of the problem.

Eric: Roll persuasion I'll give you plus two

Michael: Well that's a good thing my persuasions an 8 because I got 2, so 12

Eric: Oh god.

Brandon: You got a two and then rolled a 12?

Michael: I rolled a 2, and with an 8 and a plus two!

Brandon: That's amazing.

Eric: Alonzo chews on his lip very second.

Eric (as Alonzo): all right I guess meeting a zombie guy would be pretty cool. I just... fine but can we go like right after we meet him.

Michael (as Johnny): I'll tell you, this regardless of what happens with our friend Jamie we will tackle one of the problems tonight. How's that for a deal?

Eric (as Alonzo): Can I talk to him first?

Brandon (as Tracey): No

Michael (as Johnny): We're talking to him as a group

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah but can I talk to him first?

Brandon (as Tracey): No.

Michael (as Johnny): He doesn't know you. He knows us. So we talk to him as a group.

Amanda (as Inara): In that group, you can say the first hi and then we'll follow with more hi's and then the actual information.

Eric (as Alonzo): OK I guess

Brandon (as Tracey): that's called compromise.

Michael (as Johnny): Alonzo remember we are here to help you and we know that you're the champion and the leader of this little group here but you have to trust us that our advice is not coming from a place of wanting to stop you it's... while unification of the concentric states is obviously the goal our three goals is your safety. And you know, we need to do a better job of it and we are worried now that things are getting a little...

Brandon (as Tracey): fishy?

Amanda (as Inara): Hairy?

Michael (as Johnny): Both hairy and fishy.

Amanda: Eww

Eric: Ok cool. I like it. Alonzo concedes that it's like

Eric (as Alonzo): OK well I'm still going to get everyone, keep everybody prepared. This is very fun having a random team of people to work for me.

Michael (as Johnny): Oh of course. And in fact, Hephaestus is going to bring us some more wine buckets to help the kids.

Eric (as Alonzo): Nice

Brandon (as Tracey): Are we giving underage children alcohol?

Michael (as Johnny): Yes

Michael: They were in the bar earlier drinking so I'm assuming that they can drink

Brandon: Or they just don't check ID's here.

Michael: I'm assuming they can do so I will provide to them buckets of wine.

Eric: All right. Before you're going to go meet Jamie at nightfall is there anything you want to do?

Michael: Well I've expended a spell slot that I very much would like back. So I'm going to take a short rest and using that time to meditate and communicate with the Undying Light.

Eric: Cool.

Brandon: So I'm going to hang out the teens a little bit learn some new cool phrases and slangs and hand gestures maybe some, some dabbing and then I'm going to sneak away just for a second and open the book of The Times To Come to see if anything has changed now that we're in a whole new situation

Amanda: and I'm going to take a walk around the city with Oatcake just nearby, see if there's any graffiti any street urchins, anyone kind of whispering stuff about the Blackfish that we could put to use.

Eric: I like that

Michael: and I think we should also probably send one of the teens to go get Evan for tonight.

Amanda: Yes

Eric: Cool cool, ok sounds good. Inara, you're going to go for a walk with Oatcake. Do you have a leash for Oatcake?

Amanda: Nope. She doesn't need a leash and she can also just blink out of it whatever time she wants.

Eric: That's a very good point.

Amanda: You can't leash a blink dog man, can't leash a cloud, can't leash a rainbow.

Eric: I love it. Yeah, you go for a stroll with Oatcake. Oatcake is in a totally different city. So she's sniffing every single thing that she sees.

Amanda: Heck yeah.

Eric: And it's taking you like 20 minutes to walk like ten feet because Oatcake is just like all over everything.

Amanda: Well that's okay. I want to make sure that there isn't any Thieves Cant, any graffiti or assorted urchins skulking around that I can ask questions to so I'm also going to be looking around at all the walls as oatcake is sniffing out the new scents.

Eric: Sure, Antipolis is a pretty spotless city as you've seen before. The fact that it's already carved with these runes that you've seen all over both cities on either side of the river makes it a little difficult to write graffiti on it. Intentional or otherwise. But as you were walking around you do see paints like spray painted in certain areas that you wouldn't expect like in hidden corners like there's one behind a window shutter and as the wind blows like the window shutter comes through and it says "who fishes the Blackfish."

Amanda: Who indeed.

Eric: And you walk more in different place there's one on the bottom of a lamp post that is just like a very big fish. It's pictogram of fish and you start to see those fish everywhere. Now that you know where they are and you're looking for hidden stuff you're starting to see it everywhere.

Amanda: Is there a pattern to where they are. Or it's just kind of randomly tagged.

Eric: Yeah. As you walk forward, the fish are actually starting to clump up. It's like you see one every so often and then they get closer and closer together like they're creating a school of fish

Amanda: are they creating the image of a larger fish to scare sharks away?

Eric: Yes. And it gets closer and closer and then you're starting to see that this fish, this school of fish is swimming somewhere, like you're seeing it bob and weave throughout buildings up and down and then you come to a corner with a small alley and you only see the tail of the fish.

Amanda: I walk into the alleyway.

Eric: Give me an adjective for how you walk into the alleyway

Amanda: Cautiously.

Eric: Nice. OK. Make a stealth roll.

Amanda: It's a crit fail. COME ON! I'm a rogue! Why!?!

Eric: As you were trying to sneak into the alley. Oatcake blinks into existence at your feet and you just trip over  Oatcake and you fall dramatically. One of your shoes fly off and hit a trash can and makes an extremely loud bang and your pants fall down a little bit.

Amanda: Sounds right. I'm obviously going to scramble up as quickly as I can, put my shoe back on and tell Oatcake to come closer

Eric: as you pick Oatcake up in your arms you see that the wall that you're looking at of the alley has massive graffiti on it. And actually, as like you said before all the little fish have now congregated into symbols and you realize that it's Thieves Cant.

Amanda: What does it say?

Eric: The first picture is the picture of a knife. The second picture is a rude pictogram of a half-orc. But the third one and the fourth one are both very large pictures of fish and the last one is a picture of a unicorn. Inara can you do an intelligent roll for me?

Amanda: Well let's see if I can roll anything. 8 + 5 for 13, I'm smart sometimes.

Eric: That was very good! The knife obviously is representing, kill and you realize that that is, in fact, a half-orc and you can probably put that one together. But you look at the Unicorn, which is like the weirdest one out of all five and you see that the horn is like very lightly bolded and circled.

Amanda: I'm thinking about Cali right away

Eric: There you go.

Amanda: Thanks. Okay so on my way back from the alley if I see any urchins I just want to ask them if they heard of Flip Day and I'm going to ask it kind of like quietly and aloof, like not as if I'm asking for my own self, which I am just say like

Amanda (as Inara): hey you never heard of flip day? Do you celebrate that? Oh, it has made its way here? Oh, ok, sorry well maybe you'll hear of it soon.

Eric: Yeah all the orphans you go to say "Ummm sorry mum haven't heard of it" and walk away, and you get that five times.

Amanda: I buy them a ha'penny of hard candies.

Eric: That's very good. That is a very good choice. Tracey!

Brandon: Whatup?

Eric: All right Tracey.

Brandon: Yes.

Eric: You learn something from the teens called "Flufing" and Flufing is just, it's actually a thing that the teens made up to like annoy their parents. It doesn't actually mean anything, but you can just like add flufing to things so everything sounds more sinister.

Brandon: So I can just be like “Alright mom I'm going to go out and do some flufing, I'll see you later.”

Eric: and their parents are like “what you're Flufing?”

Michael: Question, so the verb is to fluf

Eric: To fluf.

Michael: Okay

Eric: but flufing is making your parents nervous by using the term fluf.

Brandon: You're such a flu mom.

Michael: Johnny is very disappointed by this event.

Eric: Johnny does not know what a fluf is

Brandon: If you think that Tracey is not going to call you a fluf for the rest of this game, you're incorrect dad.

Michael: This is why Johnny is very disappointed.

Eric: Tracy you walk over to a corner of the room and you open the book. Explain that to me.

Brandon: So I think I've ordered a hot beverage from Hephaestus. What is the hot beverage that Hephaestus thinks I need?

Michael: Hot bucket of wine? Hot bucket of mulled wine

Brandon: that would actually be delicious.

Eric: Hephaestus puts both hands on your shoulders. And his center eye like bobs and grows in the center of his head and he says.

Eric (as Hephaestus): I know what you need, it's a hot bucket of Gatorade.

Brandon (as Tracey): let's play I guess.

Eric (as Hephaestus): There you go. Go team.

Eric: And then he slaps you on the back.

Brandon: I guess Tallahassee comes alive and drinks the Gatorade.

Eric: You pour the Gatorade into the bag, and you look into it, and it's gone!

Brandon: No, it's a bucket right? I just put the buck on the floor and Tallahassee slurps up the Gatorade.

Eric: Yeah Tallahassee turns into an alligator just drinks it at your feet, and burps a lot. All the stuff that you put in Tallahassee vaguely smells like Gatorade now.

Amanda: what flavor?

Eric: green.

Brandon: What is wrong with you. It's cool blue or nothing

Amanda: obviously. Thank you, Brandon

Eric: fine. It smells like blue.

Brandon (as Tracey): Playtime's over!

Eric: So what's it like when you open up the book? How do you do it?

Brandon: I think I've taken a corner table with a single chair in the back and there's just a single candle on the table and I pop the book open on the table. Kind of flip through the pages quickly at first see if anything happens and then just start from page 1 if nothing does happen

Eric: right, as you flip through the pages. All of them are blank when you just like go quickly through them, when you go to the first page you see the same thing that you saw before. The same lines and nothing's changed.

Brandon: I flip to the back of the book, the last page.

Eric: Yeah there's nothing there. Only the first page has stuff on it.

Brandon (as Tracey): Hey Hephaestus you got a pen?

Eric (as Hephaestus): Yeah I think I got something behind the bar

Eric: And he throws you a pen. It's a clicky pen

Brandon: Tracey clicks it on and off a few times to make sure it's working and then turns to page 2 and just writes, "What's next"

Eric: As your pen touches the page you feel an overwhelming sense of dread, you're now expecting the worst. Like the next move that you were going to make is going to be the thing that sets off whatever calamity you see happening with the book. And Tracey you get a penalty. And I'm going to tell you what that is when it happens

Brandon: I close the book slowly, slide it back into my bag, sit there for a second kind of trying to resolve the dread I feel, walk back over to the teens. Say

Brandon (as Tracey): What's Flufing?

Eric: all the teens go "Ahh Tracey!"

Brandon: I high five them all around.

Michael: So Johnny goes up to his room and sits down cross-legged and begins to meditate with the lantern of the Undying light in front of him and he wishes to ask a question or more hopefully of the Undying Light. Let's find out how many, and I'm rolling the d4. And it's a 1. But that's fine.

Eric: You can ask one question.

Michael (as Johnny):  The members of the city guard and the government of Antipolis seem to have leaned away from the light and towards the darkness, who should we trust and who should we be wary of?

Undying Light: Trust those who cannot speak well, be wary of those with horns upon them.

Eric: Jonathan I want you to make a dexterity roll

Michael: 15 + 3 for an 18.

Eric: Johnny as you are becoming aware of your surroundings again, out of the corner of your eye you see that flash of shadow again that you recognize from the ship and this time you're quick enough. You grab the lantern with both hands and reaching behind you. You slam it on top of it. You see that flash of shadow. And for the first time, you get a good look at this thing. It is really exactly that, it is a shadow in the shape of the lantern. It's crackling at the edges like someone is currently drawing it in pencil as it's moving and it is hissing at you.

Michael: Can I, before I do any kind of action just talk to it?

Eric: So it's hissing at to you so, I don't know if it wants to talk why don't you roll persuasion for it.

Michael: That's a 17 + 8.

Eric: Yeah. Go ahead

Michael (as Johnny): Harbinger of death, symbol of evil and hate. Why do you haunt me? And why do you try to stop my connection with the light?

Undying Darkness: This is the path, that you must take. Decide soon Lightbringer. Acceptance or Annihilation

Michael (as Johnny): acceptance of what?

Undying Darkness: of me of course.

Michael (as Johnny): If acceptance of you means talking to you, how do I talk to you again?

Undying Darkness: You can always ask me, in the dark. I know there's someone traveling with you who might have something involved with that.

Michael (as Johnny): Well then. Until next time

Michael: and I cast light on where the shadow is so that there's no shadow creating the light and it's just Light.

Eric: You cast light on the lantern. It's the brightest white you can muster and even kind of blinds you a little bit you can't really look directly at it. As you look back the shadow is gone and you hear resonating through the room.

Undying Darkness: Choose your path


Eric: Hey, Eric here. This is not about the New Year, but a moment during a New Years Eve. You’re with your friends or family,  or maybe snuggled under a blanket watching Anderson Cooper. And you look around and realize how old you are, that you’ve made it. You remember your parents having New Year's parties when you were small, and you didn’t know why they would stay up that late. And now, it’s you, up late, drinking champagne and wearing silly glasses and party hats. And it’s all up to you how you spend your time. And that feeling, that pride of just being here, is here. Welcome to the midroll. I brought seven layer dip.

We did it, Y'all. We have more than 100 reviews on iTunes! [rap airhorn noise] We’ve only been at this for half a year, and I’m stunned by the support you’ve given. If you want to help out for zero dollars, this is the way to do it. Just go to iTunes or your Apple Podcast app, find the ratings, and give us 5 stars. It really helps and will help us get in front of more people in 2018!

And now, we shall loudly shout out our new Patreons for December. Sarah, Alex, Joe, candice smutpunx, Siobhan, Maggie Rose, Dixon Brown, Meagan, Ben Ingham, Zachary Deane, and WWW Wil Williams. Goddamn, we love you guys from the bottom of our harmonica pockets. For as little as $1 per episode, you get access to our Patron-only Discord and so much more.

We are sponsored this week by 20 Sided Store in Brooklyn, New York. And I need to give you a recommendation for a board game - Betrayal on the House on the Hill. If you like monster movie tropes, pretending like you’re in a horror movies or games with an insane replay value, this is for you. You explore a haunted mansion, gain mysterious items and omens, and weather strange events. But, halfway through the game, everything changes, a betrayer emerges, turning the game into a scenario from a horror film. With 50 scenarios to try and 50 more in the expansion WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND, you can keep playing and playing and playing. AND best of all, there is a D&D inspired version now - Betrayal at Baldor’s Gate. Instead of horror movie tropes, we’re trafficking in fantasy intrigue. I got it for Candlenights and I am so excited to play.

And you can get that at 20 Sided Store in Brooklyn, my local friendly gaming store. Email us (hello@jointhepartypod.com) with your gaming questions, and co-owner Lauren may answer them in a future episode. Find out more about this beautiful oasis of gaming goodness in Brooklyn, NY at twentysidedstore.com. Now, let’s get back to the show.


Michael: After I finish meditating, I open the door and sit cross-legged kind of in front of the door waiting for my compatriots to come up and grab their bags before they come to leave.

Amanda (as Inara): Well Johnny that looks pretty creepy. And Oatcake is going to go over and lay down in your lap.

Michael (as Johnny): Hi Oatcake, we friends now?

Michael: Yeah we're friends now. Right?

Amanda: She's doing reconnaissance. She's like looking up to you a little askance.

Michael: I take an apple out and I cut a slice and give it to oatcake.

Amanda: She'll accept it.

Michael: Ok cool

Eric: Nice.

Amanda: I'm going to sit down on your bed and swing my legs.

Brandon: You hear a shave and a haircut knock on your door

Amanda (as Inara): the door is open Tracey.

Amanda: I say out loud in character.

Brandon: I'm still going to knock!

Michael (as Johnny): come in Tracey

Eric: as you guys are talking and Johnny's room you hear the door of the bar slam and quick steps up the stairs and Alonzo is breathing extremely heavy.

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh my god guys this is... oh my god... So when I asked for for just one person, just for Evan the representatives said no that's cool here you can have somebody else as well, and I'll send my most capable person with me and they sent Cali too. So I don't, I know this might be like discriminatory but she, I don't like her, in my bones. And this seems like a bad idea.

Brandon (as Tracey): I think your bones are right.

Eric (as Alonzo): Oh good. I'm glad about my bones.

Michael (as Johnny): Alonzo, Alonzo your inherent racism towards tieflings aside.

Eric (as Alonzo): Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for letting me check my privilege. OK.

Michael (as Johnny): You might not actually be wrong in this case. Be on the lookout for Callie tonight, but also Tieflings are just fine.

Eric (as Alonzo): All right. And I will reconcile those two things in my head.

Brandon (as Tracey): We have a VHS tape for you to watch.

Eric (as Alonzo): guys guys guys guys guys

Amanda (as Inara): Not all Tieflings.

Eric (as Alonzo): guys, guys ok.

Michael (as Johnny): I have a pamphlet for you

Eric (as Alonzo): you guys, you can burn me about my privilege later. Come on. So here's the thing though. I think that if we don't take the boats that the representative gave us we don't have to bring them with us, though I already, I've been talking I've talked to Hephaestus and he has a boat we can take across the river instead. But we gotta go right now and get out of here before they come down here.

Michael (as Johnny): Let's go now towards Jamie get Hephaestus to hold them as long as he can. Here at the bar, and then you know they're going to come looking for us. But let's get to Jamie and warn him of Cali and the news we have

Brandon (as Tracey): This sounds like we're headed for murder.

Amanda (as Inara): Well Tracy you know where where murder goes, grace follows or something. Let's go.

Eric: Inara also take a decorative pillow out of her bag that says that

Amanda: yeah I know just needle points.

Eric: Okay you guys are hustling down the stairs.

Michael: I approach Hephaestus and I ask him if he can do me a favor.

Eric (as Hephaestus): Yeah, yeah. What do you need?

Evan. Our good friend and Cali our apparently not good friend are coming in soon. They're going to be looking for us and they'll get to us so don't worry but I want to reward them. I want to give them a prize. They've been great to me.

Eric (as Hephaestus): Oh, you want to reward them?

Eric: and Hephaestus winks with this third eye.

Michael (as Johnny): So you catch my drift.

Eric (as Hephaestus): I am the bartender of a bar called The Giant Mistake. Yeah, I think I got it.

Michael (as Johnny): And you can put it on the tab for the rooms.

Eric (as Hephaestus): I'm gonna need some stuff up front.

Michael (as Johnny): How much is it?

Amanda: before you can answer I put five gold pieces on the bar.

Eric (as Hephaestus): Make that 10

Amanda: I look at Johnny.

Brandon: Tracey puts 15 gold pieces on them.

Collective: Goddamnit

Eric (as Hephaestus): Alright sold, to the robot bidder.

Amanda (as Inara): And the longer they are here drinking their buckets of wine the happier we will be.

Eric (as Hephaestus): Sounds good to me. I got you.

Brandon: Tracey puts another five gold pieces

Michael: oh my god.

Eric: Nice.

Amanda: I take him my by the wrist

Amanda (as Inara): come on Tracey. Come on.

Brandon (as Tracey): What are we doing?

Michael: We're going to hoof it towards Jamie now

Brandon: Front door?

Michael: let's go through the back because they're going to probably be coming through the main entrance

Amanda: entrance and we can run down the alley parallel to the river and then come over where we think Jamie is.

Eric: You all hustle out of the back of the tavern and run down to the riverbank. You do not see anyone there right now and it's starting to get dark.

Brandon: I say

Brandon (as Tracey): Jaime? Jamie?

Amanda (as Inara): Hey hey Johnny just cast a little light over the water there

Michael: over the water?

Amanda: He's in the river right?

Brandon: He walked into the river didn't he?

Michael: I thought he walked in the river to kill some of the fish, I mean in my head he was there all night. He probably went home.

Brandon: He's half dead. Where is he going?

Michael: Well for the other half to like, live.

Eric: As you guys are arguing about Jamie's living quarters you here from the river

Eric (as Jaime): POLO

Eric: and you see the sword like slowly peek out of the water.

Brandon: I turn to Johnny and I say

Brandon (as Tracey): told ya

Eric: As it comes up it gets slowly more aflame and Alonzo is enraptured. He turns to Inara and says

Eric (as Alonzo): I'll give you a hundred gold pieces if you steal that for me.

Amanda (as Inara): Let's see how this night goes Alonzo.

Eric (as Alonzo): I'll give you two hundred gold pieces if you steal this for me.

Amanda (as Inara): Make your five and I'll see what I can do.

Eric (as Alonzo): I will give you five hundred gold pieces if you steal this for me

Amanda (as Inara): cool let's see.

Eric (as Alonzo): Tight tight, tight, tight, tight.

Michael: Also that's like the amount that Tracey gives away for like random crap, you need to be asking for way more.

Amanda (as Inara): Uh Jamie we're going to move things forward just a little bit. They're kind of people coming after us, city guard. Long story. We think we have to...

JA: Oh wow, city guard. Oh yeah, we're gonna go murder them right?

Amanda (as Inara): We're going to murder one and not the other one.

Brandon (as Tracey): No, we're not going to do that at all.

Amanda (as Inara): We're going to M-U-R-D-E-R one and not the other.

Brandon (as Tracey): I can fucking spell!

(explosion of laughter)

Michael (as Johnny): Jamie. It turns out we have allies in the Guard but we have enemies so we will, take care of the enemies, but first...

Brandon (as Tracey): I also know euphemisms!

Eric (as Jaime): Who, who is, who do we trust?

Michael (as Johnny): We trust Evan and we trust Valentine

Brandon (as Tracey): and Tom

Amanda (as Inara): Tom is neutral at best.

Michael: Well he also doesn't talk great.

Brandon (as Tracey): I trust Tom

Amanda (as Inara): And Cali, superduper bad guy

Eric: as you say Cali's name. You see his eyes ignite in flame, real flame. and he says

Eric (as Jaime): Cali? Cali is still here?

Amanda (as Inara): Yeah

Michael (as Johnny): well where should she have gone?

Eric (as Jaime): she should be dead. She's the one I'm murdering.

Amanda (as Inara): Good good we're on the same page. Cool.

Eric (as Jaime): So I'm going to I'm going to go do that.

Michael (as Johnny): (stuttering like an old fool)

Amanda (as Inara): Question, what would happen if we fed the sacrificer to the Bone Whale?

Eric: Jamie starts to nod his head and Alonzo's like

Eric (as Alonzo): he has half a face!

Amanda: I will let Alonzo and Tracey distract themselves but I'm going a step closer to Janie and say

Amanda (as Inara): No no no. But like would it, would it, I don't know how any of this stuff works but it seems like if you if you feed the sacrificer to the thing that they made maybe it will like bust the magic out.

Eric (as Jaime): Listen don't care I just want it to.

Michael (as Johnny): (more stuttering) Maybe we don't want to further sacrifice anything but we can do some murdering.

Amanda (as Inara): fine.

Michael (as Johnny): Hold up just, just before we even discuss murdering

Eric: Alonzo says

Eric (as Alonzo): man. They are like right here. They are really close guys.

Michael (as Johnny): Do you have a way out of here Jamie. Towards where you think the headquarters of the Blackfish is?

Eric (as Jaime): I mean they don't have a headquarters there.

Michael (as Johnny): Where do they meet? Where were you sacrificed?

Eric (as Jaime): I mean I guess down at the sailing school.

Michael (as Johnny): Let's go to the sailing school.

Amanda (as Inara): Let's go

Brandon (as Tracey): Let's go.

Eric: You guys all book it on the opposite way towards the statehouse where you think Ev and Cali are coming from. You make it like half a mile of just like straight sprinting

Brandon: halfway through, I'm like

Brandon (as Tracey): Johnny you good?

Michael (as Johnny): No.

Eric: Johnny make an athletics roll?

Michael: Ugh... 13

Eric: yeah you're a little bit behind and you're sweating profusely but you're keeping up with everybody. You're five.

Michael: Every few seconds while running I cast prestidigitation on me to clear off the sweat.

Amanda: That seems like an efficient use of energy.

Michael: Yup.

Eric: Jamie stops in front of a rickety dock that runs pretty far out into the river and there is a pretty small shed right on the dock and you see a bunch of sailboats locked up for the night. Jamie is like physically angry like he is clenching his hands and his eyes have not stopped being aflame they are actually just getting brighter and brighter.

Michael: Does the sword burn brighter when he's mad?

Eric: Yeah the sword is also getting brighter and brighter as well. Jamie is also like holding the sword at attention now, it is like he's ready to slash and kill. He's like

Eric (as Jaime): it's here. I remember it now. That's where they threw me into the mouth of this Adamah damned whale fish monster thing we are going to go in there and we're going to mess it up.

Amanda (as Inara): Hey hey Jamie where'd you get that sword from?

Eric (as Jaime): I'm... What? What? This is my purpose here. I don't have time for questions.

Amanda (as Inara): As we wait for them to find us. Where'd you get that sword?

Eric (as Jaime): I woke up with it. I was holding it. alright, we are going to go in the shed. We're going to wait for them to show up. And then just murders

Amanda (as Inara): as a reminder, Evan: don't murder, Cali: definitely murder.

Brandon (as Tracey): as a reminder no one murder no one

Eric (as Jaime): Murders....

Brandon (as Tracey): Jamie we're not going to murder someone.

Eric (as Alonzo): Guys, there's a fish, I don't care about murder. There's ships like five of them, five sailboats right there. I thought we were going across the river.

Michael (as Johnny): We're going to take care of one of the three problems tonight. We might as well try to take care of the Blackfish tonight since we're here. But let's go inside and see what the sacrificing altar must look like.

Eric (as Alonzo): I don't know. That's not my bag. I'm going to set up one of these, one of the sailboats.

Michael (as Johnny): OK. But you cannot leave without us.

Eric (as Alonzo): This is the thing, I'm doing the thing we're working together, I got it.

Amanda (as Inara): Listen guys let's set up a sailboat. Let's go into the shed lets hide and wait and talk. For example a not dead Cali has more information than a dead Cali. You know me, I'm very in favor of murder. I think first we should tie her up and ask her some questions about the Blackfish and how to shut down this bone whale for good.

Eric: Make a persuasion check

Amanda: 12 +  3 for 15.

Eric (as Jaime): Alright but there better be murder at the end of this.

Eric: And Jamie kicks in the door with a loud crack and runs inside.

Michael: What's the light situation?

Eric: It's super dark except for Jamie's sword.

Michael: Ok I cast light on the staff as well just for like more light. Just because you know me I'm the light guy.

Amanda: I'm going to jump into a sailboat with Alonzo and help him set it up real quick.

Brandon: Tracey is following as close as he can behind Jamie within an arm's length

Michael: and I'm falling behind them I also have dark vision for 60 feet. I know I do the whole light thing but like just a reminder that I probably can see what's in there.

Amanda: Me too.

Eric: Inara, you and Alonzo are trying to set this up as quickly as possible.

Amanda: Yeah

Eric: neither of you are very good with boats.

Amanda: Listen I like to believe that after stealing that Antipolis a sailing school T-shirt and my formative experience the Captain Alex that I at least remember how to set up the sailboat.

Eric: We're both going to do intelligence checks.

Amanda: All right.

Amanda: 2 + 5 for a 7

Eric: Alonzo got an 8. So you guys together are just like looping ropes through wherever the hell they go. And like sails are going every which way and you are not getting this thing ready.

Brandon: But do they think they're doing a really good job?

Eric: you guys think, Alonzo is so set he's like

Eric (as Alonzo): Man I've never done this as quickly before I'm so glad I have help.

Michael: The good news is is that there's four other boats so you're going to mess this one up and that's fine, probably tie it to the dock somehow.

Amanda: Don't give him ideas

Michael: but you have four more to try!

Amanda: Yeah whatever, I am though to be clear, I am keeping watch on the top of the dock to make sure that once people start coming or I see lanterns or something we can dash into the shed

Michael: before we left we should have made a 'hey make this sound as a warning.'

Amanda: Well we're not that smart

Michael: We are not that smart.

Brandon: We're not good at this guys.

Eric: Oh you guys. As Jamie kicks the door in, Johnny and Tracey are quick behind them and you get a quick survey of what's going on with your better light situation. This is like a reappropriated dock area like the shed leads directly into the water. So you could have, you could be working on a boat in here you could just push it into the water when you were finished with it. And it comes right up to the beach

Michael: or you could just throw your sacrifices in

Eric: it could be reappropriated for that. It could also be a nursery! As you get to look around you see that this thing has been reappropriated quite well. There are jars of oil and fat everywhere. Some of them are actually still burning. You get a whiff of them they smell like fish. They're just swords like thrown around on the ground and covered in somebody's blood. You're not really sure who's there is an altar right in the center. At first, you think that it's made out of stone. But you get a better look as you get closer and as Jamie nears the altar in the center and that is bone. They've reappropriated an alter out of whale bones and some whale skeleton this massive thing that can barely fit inside of the shed. They cracked bones off to like make sure that it fits within the ceiling. And also that is pretty bloody as well. Written all over the walls in oil and fat and in blood and carved into the walls are the words 'whale' and 'save us.' It's over and over and over again and it's written, Johnny as you can see it's written in common and in Elvish and Dwarven even in Sylvan and a bunch of other languages that you can read but you do not know where it is from. It's like, it's also sort of like a storage area. So like people have like robes hung up and on top of those robes, they have those necklaces that the representative warned you about before.

Brandon (as Tracey): So Jamie it looks like this whale is on the same mission as you huh?

Eric: Jamie's not listening. He's starting to destroy things. He's pulling jars of oil down and starting to light them on fire with his sword.

Brandon: I'm going to run at Jamie and try to grapple him. I got a 15 + 3 for an 18

Eric: Jaime rolled a 3... So yeah you got him. How do you hold him down?

Brandon: I grab his arms and kind of put them behind his back and push the back of his knees down and get him on the floor and hold him down as firm as I can to the ground. And I say

Brandon (as Tracey): Jamie you've got to stop now, ok?

Michael (as Johnny): Jamie we just need to know what they're doing so we can undo it. So let's just relax

Michael: and then I'd like to derive understanding of like what was the purpose of their actions. Now that I see exactly how they've done it. Were they summoning the whale? Did the whale appear first and they're praying to it asking for help?

Eric: Sure. Roll your religion

Michael: 18 + 5.

Eric: Johnny you've done some research of cults in your study as a monk guy.

Michael: I might be in one.

Eric: That's entirely possible. So you're starting to put together everything that you see here. There is nothing here about summoning. You don't see any any summoning rituals you don't see any sort of sacrifice and something that wouldn't need more of a step by step process like to bring something forward whatever this ghost monster is. All of this stuff looks to be just straight up sacrifices like they are trying to get the favor of the bone whale. Also, you realize that that's connected to what people said about Zubi, Zubi freaked out because he saw the bone whale and nothing is real to him anymore. So that was the cause and effect. The giant freaked out because it saw the whale and now these people are praying to the whale to save their city. I would also say you're starting to see pictograms of some other things. There are fish skeletons which match the fish that bit you in the butt and a weird of birds that match the messed up bombleades that you keep seeing flying around.

Michael (as Johnny): Tracey this is why you have to stick to a good religion like that of the Trinity or the Undying Light.

Brandon (as Tracey): I'm a little busy with Jamie right now

Eric: And Jamie is struggling. He is so angry.

Brandon (as Tracey): Could you maybe like take the sword or something be helpful?

Amanda: Hearing the commotion Inara is going to run toward the shed dragging Alonzo behind her.

Eric (as Alonzo): But we didn't set up the, we didn't set up the sail!

Amanda (as Inara): Come on, come on we will deal with it later.

Eric (as Alonzo): OK.

Eric: Inara, make a perception check

Amanda: 19 + 4

Eric: We're going to come back to you. Johnny keep going

Michael (as Johnny): It's OK, it's OK Jamie. I think you're right. We do have to burn this place down.

Brandon (as Tracey): Can you please for the love of Adamah get his sword away from him?

Michael (as Johnny): We're going to need him as soon as these people show up, Tracey just just hold on. Jamie, could you wait to destroy this place until they come?

Eric (as Jaime): Oh you mean burn the whole place with them in it?

Brandon (as Tracey): That will not be happening.

Eric (as Jaime): Nice nice nice

Michael (as Johnny): How about we first talk to them and then we burn the place down?

Eric (as Jaime): I was promised burning and I'm already getting held down by your robot guardian

Michael (as Johnny): The burning will happen.

Brandon (as Tracey): My name is Tracey

Eric (as Jaime): Robot Guardian it is

Michael (as Johnny): and the burning will happen. But it has to be done on our terms. You're already half dead. We want to stay full alive. Let's not make any mistakes tonight.

Eric: Persuasion roll, please.

Michael: 17 + 8.

Eric: Yeah okay. Jamie stops struggling against Tracey and says

Eric (as Jaime): there better be burning

Eric: Inara, in the glint of the starlight. You see a horn you recognize about half a mile out back from when you started sprinting. You see that horn and there are two figures Cali is leading a bound and hooded figure.

Amanda: So I'm going to drag Alonzo into the shed into the open doorway and say

Amanda (as Inara): guys Cali is T minus two minutes out from here. Let's sit down. Be quiet and wait to spring them when they come into the shed.

Eric: Alonzo says

Eric (as Alonzo): let's go. Let's go before they show up! What are we doing?

Eric: And Jamie says

Eric (as Jaime): we're going to burn this whole place down that's the hell we're doing.

Amanda (as Inara): Yeah we're going to catch them by surprise we're going to catch them in the shed and we're going to bind them and make sure that they tell us everything we need to know about destroying this thing.

Brandon (as Tracey): Inara I'm trusting you.

Amanda (as Inara): Thanks trace

Michael: so I think we have to surround them. I say two people hide in the boat closest to them like hide like in it in a way that they can like jump out once they approach the door and then whoever is left is in the shed itself. So we corner them.

Amanda: Someone should wait outside the shed in case they escape and start running back up the dock.

Michael: Right. So the plan is, we're going to have Tracey still not move and grapple holding Jamie. We're going to have Inara inside the shed because it's nice and dark and she can use that to her advantage. Johnny is going to turn off all of the lights that he has but because he's outside hopefully he's not freaking out too much with Alonzo in like the nearest boats just hiding and because Cali is not expecting us and we're being quiet. Hopefully, she just go straight to the door and as soon as she reaches the door, we jump out and we surround her and her hapless victim.

Amanda: Before we split up I'm going to say

Amanda (as Inara): guys this is what I do. I'm going to take the first shot. If I fail Tracey you have to let Jaime up.

Brandon (as Tracey): No.

Amanda (as Inara): Uh... very well. If I fail Johnny, do something.

Michael: right now as we're preparing I'm casting Shillelagh on my quarterstaff in case I need to do something like bonk related and then yeah I'm going to take whatever supplies that are around that could help me hide and Alonzo hide in one of the boats and we set ourselves up in one of the boats like right in front of the shed door on the dock, Alonzo's cool with this? He's ok he likes the plan?

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah. No, no listen I'm just glad we're doing something. like alright fine OK let's do it.

Michael (as Johnny): This isn't my first rodeo kid stick with me.

Eric (as Alonzo): You're a rodeo clown. Got it.

Eric: Inara, you're inside the shed?

Amanda: I'm going to just inside the door of the shed.

Eric: OK Inara. Make a stealth roll for me.

Amanda: Big money.... 15 + 6 for 21

Eric: Oh God yeah. I mean the DC wasn't that high. It was just like I want you to take your position and you have a clear shot.

Amanda: Yes.

Eric: Johnny

Michael: Alonzo and I have grabbed enough equipment to make it look like just someone forgot to unpack a boat and we're going to put that equipment on top of us and hopefully it'll make us look cool and boatie

Eric: first before we make a cell altogether. Johnny, It is so dark outside.

Michael: Yes it is

Eric: and you are a little shaken. I want you to make a wisdom saving throw.

Michael: OK. That is a 7 + 5.

Brandon: I thought that was a one, oh my god...

Michael: No it's not, no it's not.

Eric: Ok, even though the night is dark and full of terrors you think of the undying light and you are not scared of the dark for now.

Michael: Cool.

Eric: Let's make stealth rolls.

Michael: Let's do it. That is a 16 + 2 for an 18.

Eric: OK Tracey, let's do a strength contest to see if you keep holding Jamie. I'll give you advantage.

Brandon: I threw my dice under the table, is that bad?

Eric: Yeah probably

Brandon: thank God for advantage. that was a two... 14 + 3 for 17.

Eric: Yeah you got it. Jamie struggles against you and says

Eric (as Jaime): Let me go. This is all I'm here to do.

Brandon (as Tracey): Stay down and you won't get hurt.

Eric (as Jaime): It's not me, it's not me getting hurt that I'm worried about

Brandon (as Tracey): it will be you.

Eric: Inara you see Cali leading the hooded figure is about 30 feet away of beginning of the dock, and they're walking closer and closer to 25 feet, 20 feet. And that moment Johnny Alonzo goes

Eric (as Alonzo): Ah.... Haaaaa, Johnny, I have to sneeze!

Michael (as Johnny): Don't do it, don't you dare sneeze

Eric (as Alonzo): Johnny you have to help me I have to sneeze!

Michael: I put my finger under his nose in a Looney Tunes-esque maneuver

Eric: make a dexterity roll.

Michael: 18 p+ 3

Eric: yeah, as you put your finger there Alonzo has his mouth open. and he's frozen.

Amanda: yes!

Michael: Okay great. Cool. Good thing I watch watched Looney Tunes as a kid or Johnny did

Brandon: Johnny did!

Amanda: and I'm just watching this from the door being like

Amanda (as Inara): I can't believe you guys.

Eric: They're 15 feet and ten feet away and Cali shifts the body that she's leaving behind her so she's holding with one hand onto the person she's leading and she's starting to reach out towards the door.

Amanda: As soon as she is within six feet of me I'm going to tackle Cali and attempt to pin her to the dock holding my dagger to her throat.

Eric: Alright she's surprised so I'm going to give you advantage but this is going to be a grapple. So she's going to contest it using her athletics as well. Okay?

Amanda: Okay. I got a 7.

Eric: With advantage?

Amanda: I got a 12

Eric: Inara, you get the jump on Cali and you try to wrench her arm that she's reaching out to the door with behind her back but she's just too strong for you even as you surprise her. Her instincts kick in and she pulls the body that she's been leading in front of her and pushes it into you. So you are just getting tangled up with this person who's being led and just pushes you forward back towards the shed.

Michael: Seeing this I take my hand off of Alonzo's nose.

Eric: He goes

Eric (as Alonzo): CHOOO!

Michael: Did they get the attention of the...

Eric: Yes. And it's so goddamn smart.

Michael: This was my readied action people!

Eric: And Alonzo sneezes and goes CHOO! and Cali looks up and looks towards the sailboat that you two are hiding in.

Michael: After Lonzo sneezes, I push him up and we both show ourselves on the boat and I shove him towards Inara so that he can help Inara and the hooded figure and then to Cali I go

Michael (as Johnny): how about you and I become friends

Michael: and I give her the good old finger guns and cast charm person at her.

Eric: Ok, what does that do?

Michael: The target needs to make a wisdom save. It says with advantage if fighting with me or my companions. Which is true. The wisdom save is vs my spell save which is at this point 14 + 1

Eric: 15.

Michael: Yes.

Eric: Cali is reaching towards a broad sword that she has clinging on her hip and she's starting to pull it out and getting ready just to slice everybody up, especially Alonzo who's now stumbling towards her. And then she stops and she says

Eric (as Cali): I mean I haven't had many friends before.

Michael (as Johnny): Friend. It's been an age

Eric (as Cali): it's been an age Johnny

Michael: mechanically speaking, she is now friendly towards my friends for an hour. At the end, she will know she was charmed

Michael (as Johnny): Inara, who's that you are tussling with?

Amanda: I am going to rip the hood off of this hooded figure.

Eric: Who's that Pokemon? It's Ev!

Eric (as Evan): What's happening? I got. What's that thing, when someone does something that you don't want them to do?

Amanda (as Inara): Yeah, I know you're really really totally kidnapped, but you're fine now. You were going to be sacrificed. Now you're not. Don't you worry.

Amanda: And I'm going to cut the ropes binding his hands with my dagger.

Eric: Oh yeah. He rubs his wrists and he's like

Eric (as Evan): I saw a bunch of people do that after I lock them up or stuff I thought that was cool.

Michael: I walk Cali to the boat that Alonzo and Inara had been messing with and I sit her inside and talk to her there

Michael (as Johnny): Alonzo make sure Evan's okay, Inara, come with me.

Eric: Alonzo opens his arms wide to Ev and is like

Eric (as Alonzo): My Boy!!!! I'm so sorry! This is crazy, I sneezed and then everything went crazy!

Eric: and Ev is like

Eric (as Ev): Man, I sneezed and then I got kidnapped!

Eric: And they talk about how they sneezed and how bad things happened to them for a while.

Michael (as Johnny): Cali, my friend, how are you? This is a gorgeous evening.

Eric (as Cali): Yeah I totally agree. I was going to do some sacrificing

Michael (as Johnny): No way?

Eric (as Cali): But things turned. I guess

Michael (as Johnny): yeah.

Eric (as Cali): I mean I haven't been as vulnerable with someone I just like keep all this inside.

Michael (as Johnny): Hey it's OK.

Amanda (as Inara): It's hard. Hard to be a woman in the field of assassination and badassery, I got you.

Eric (as Cali): Yeah man. I mean everyone just like oh like you're not able to do it because you're a woman. Why don't you pass me that sacrificial dagger, because you're a woman and make me a sandwich and I'm like...

Amanda (as Inara): It's like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I totally get it

Michael (as Johnny): Men are the worst

Amanda (as Inara): the worst right?

Michael (as Johnny): Men are just the worst

Eric (as Cali): Man, men are the worst, that's why I only kill men and sacrifice them to the bone.

Michael (as Johnny): ah interesting

Amanda (as Inara): Oh my god, why?

Eric (as Cali): You know, like feminism. I call it third wave feminism because like the waves of the fish? Like one two three whales, wave.

Michael (as Johnny): But my question is why do you think sacrificing people will bring happiness and joy back to Antipolis?

Eric (as Cali): I mean what else can we do? This whole city was run by, by a stone giant. Is that any crazier than a bone whale that came out of a portal in the middle of the night?

Michael (as Johnny): So you think it's good that most of the city is either flooding or or just hasn't had infrastructure for a while?

Eric (as Cali): No no no no no. I'm trying to fix that. The whale came out of nowhere. I mean the whale showed up when the second star went out! Like it's crazy. All of this is crazy. Come on. Killing people and sacrificing it to a whale that showed up out of nowhere is no weirder than having a stone giant, the most reclusive monster in the entirety of history, running a city.

Amanda (as Inara): Did the water stop before the bone whale came or after?

Eric (as Cali): No no no, here's what happened: the bone whale showed up, unrelated Zubi freaked out and then everything went to pot.

Michael (as Johnny): So you're just trying to bring normalcy back.

Eric (as Cali): Exactly. I knew you would, I knew you get it.

Michael (as Johnny): Ah I see, Listen you and me, we are sisters. Inara, we're all sisters here.

Amanda (as Inara): Johnny I call you an ally but the sentiment stands.

Michael (as Johnny): What if there was a happy medium one where Zubi isn't in control but one where the whale isn't killing people and you aren't killing people.

Eric (as Cali): I mean the whales going to kill people no matter what. The Bone Whale gains its power from having the unworthy be thrown upon it and it's prey it's it's bait. We are just bait for the ghost, the ghost whale the bone whale, the Bake-kujira, to save us. and I am a worthy fisherman.

Amanda (as Inara): What if everything to go back to normal. Everything could go back to the way it was if we relocate, re-home, maybe kill the bone whale?

Eric (as Cali): you're going to kill the Bone whale?

Michael (as Johnny): no no no no no, you know what we're going to do. Did you see a movie called Star Trek 4 return of the whales?

Eric (as Cali): No I must have missed that one

Michael (as Johnny): let me, let's do this. Who else is one of the chosen few? You know, the Blackfish.

Eric (as Cali): OK. I'm leading it. It's me. And then the dwarf guy who was really anxious. He's he's one of them too. We lost the other two though. I mean you were there, you saw it. You know the one with the golden helmet and the other one that ran off. I don't remember the names.

Michael (as Johnny): and Geneva?

Eric (as Cali): Who?

Michael (as Johnny): Geneva?

Eric (as Cali): Oh no screw that guy. He's just a butthole. You know, whatever. And then you know the other ones they died but they were with us. I mean I guess anyone who was a sacrifice is kind of with us but

Michael (as Johnny): unwilling partners I'm sure. How about you and Tombjorn, you guys travel with the whale meet new followers, sacrifice other people just not here in Antipolis where it doesn't seem to be working. I think we all know it would work somewhere else.

Eric (as Cali): No, Nah I mean I work here. I'm part of the city guard. Kind of a big deal. And there are so many problems here that we just need to take care of, you know. I know we're bros, and we're like sisters. Ride Till We Die. But you know this is just going to happen. I don't know.

Michael (as Johnny): So you're saying you're not going to see the light in the situation?

Eric (as Cali): I guess. I mean it's nighttime. But yeah I guess so.

Michael (as Johnny): Ok.

Michael: I look to Inara. Basically, I've heard all the information I need to hear and I give her the signal of my finger across my throat. And I actually I'm going to walk off the boat.

Amanda (as Inara): Hey Cali if we want to protect the Bone whale what do we need to look out for? What is dangerous to the bone whale? what do we have to make sure that that nobody does to kill it or something?

Eric (as Cali): I mean probably, it was a ghost. So like bad ghost-like damage would be bad, things that ghosts don't like, I don't know. I mean we've thrown a lot of things in there into its mouth. So there might be something inside that probably didn't agree with it or whatever. So we only feed them the choicest cuts of person if you know what I am saying. No armor, no swords, like no magic items on them just make sure that they don't, doesn't eat that thing. Like it's my pet, you wouldn't let your dog eat like a sword?

Michael: Johnny looks to Inara nods his head and starts untying the boat from the dock.

Amanda (as Inara): Thanks Cali for that info. Do you know, is the Bone Whale sleeping right now? Can you see anything out there on the water?

Eric (as Cali): Guys, man, rain. You've been here. You saw that happen. It was raining and it's raining. It only comes out it's raining.

Amanda (as Inara): I'm saying right, like right now. Like how does the weather look to you out there on the other side of the river?

Eric: Cali turns away from you and just like looks out there

Amanda: and I'm going to slit Cali's throat. So 8 + 2 + 6 for a 16.

Eric: OK yeah, you know what. Amanda, what does this look like?

Amanda: Right now I'm crouching on the prow of the boat a couple feet away from her so as she turns around I'm going to stand up as if to look over her shoulder and then very swiftly and efficiently cut her throat.

Eric: As Kelly turns away from you, you just do it. Here's the surprising part for you. It's a lot easier than you thought it would be. You like pushed Geneva before, into the river and he sank down. But this is your first time killing somebody. And God it's like, it's really easy and you might be pretty good at this.

Amanda: I feel as if I see in my mind exactly what is happening next. So I wipe my dagger on her prone back. I step out of the boat. I open my pack and take out the two scrolls that I got. Before we left Fidapolis, put them in the boat and cut the rope tethering it to the dock and push it out to sea.

Eric: The boat rides the waves of the river and it gets caught up with the current and lists a little bit to the left and as the boat rides the waves of the moving water you see a mass collect under the water even in the low light of the moon and the stars and then one of those Bonefish jump into the boat and then another and another and then it just piles and piles and so many of these fish start to devour the boat piece by piece by piece and it starts to sink and it's gone.

Amanda (as Inara): What are we going to do about Tracey?

(Theme music)

Eric: Join the Party is brought to you by Brandon Grugle, Amanda McLoughlin, Michael Fische, and me, Eric Silver. I’m your host and game master; Brandon edits, mixes, and scores the show; Amanda manages our community and our digital life; and Michael archives, manual-checks, and cartographs our world. Special thanks to our creative consultants Connor McLoughlin, Julia Schifini and Heddy Hunt.

Michael: The party doesn’t stop here! The day after every episode comes out we publish the Afterparty, where we sit down to discuss what just happened and learn what could have happened. Send us your questions anytime.

Brandon: Join our community online by following @jointhepartypod on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. We’ve also got every episode up on our website, jointhepartypod.com; and you can email us questions or stories anytime at hitusup@jointhepartypod.com.

Amanda: If you’re enjoying this ride as much as we are, help the show out by subscribing to us in iTunes and leaving a quick rating. For even more Join the Party goodness, check out our Patreon. Just a few dollars will get you access to drawings, character backstories, bloopers, and so much more at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.

Eric: We’ll see you in two weeks. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.